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From mindful eating to mindful listening: incorporate these 13 practical mindfulness behavior ideas from Calvin Holbrook into your daily routine to live a more present and focused life. Rushing. Multitasking. Not listening to other people properly. Do you recognize any of these habits from your everyday life? If so, you could definitely try to incorporate some more mindful behavior into your daily routine. By practising mindfulness you can be more present, more aware, and more receptive to how you're feeling and the reality that surrounds you. However, changing your behaviour or habits isn't always straightforward. Indeed, behavioral changes can be difficult. When you’ve spent years, sometimes decades, practising a certain behavior, it’s hard to wake up one day and decide to do something differently. • JOIN US! Sign up to learn more about meditation and mindfulness • But if you can incorporate some of these practical mindful behaviors and tools into your daily routine, you could really feel the benefit, boosting happiness levels and helping to keep anxiety and depression at bay. If these are big changes for you, focus on one or two at a time until you feel comfortable with the transition. Mindful behaviors: 13 habits and tools to adapt Use these mindfulness behavioural tools at various points throughout the day. They are listed below roughly into how they might appear in your day-to-day routine. Incorporating these simple mindfulness tips into your day shouldn't require a great deal of extra time of effort: simply a different way of seeing things. 1. Mindful start to the day Take your time to simply be grateful for the day ahead. Showing gratitude is scientifically proven to benefit your mood. After opening your eyes, say hello to your body waking up and notice the different sensations you're feeling: be grateful that you can see, hear, smell and that your bodily parts work. Smile at the world before the rush of the day starts. Just spend a few minutes being and appreciating the gift of life. 2. Mindful breath Before you head out to start your day, open the window. Take a mindful, deep breath and check in with yourself. How are you today? What’s the weather inside of you like? Don't judge how you're feeling or try to reason with it: just sense and accept your mood at this moment in time. Don't try to change anything. 3. Mindful shower Mindful showering is a great morning mindfulness tool to set you up for the day. Really be there in the shower: feel the water on your skin, smell the shower gel aroma and scan your body for how it’s feeling. If your mind is already wandering, bring it back to the present moment by singing a song and smiling to yourself. 4. Mindful mirror When it's time to get ready, instead of looking in the mirror and pointing out your flaws, take a moment to look at yourself the way a parent looks at their kid: with love and kindness. Give yourself a warm loving, accepting and supportive smile before you head out the door to start your day. 5. Mindful walk Try some mindful walking or forest bathing if you have the chance. Stop and smell the flowers, but first, you need to be there to even see them. Hear the birds, feel the many muscles in your body keeping you in balance with every step – marvel at life around you. Connecting with nature is important for our mental health, so if you get a chance to do this with a mindful walk, all the better. 6. Mindful speaking We often feel rushed to reply when in conversations. However, really take the time to consider what you want to say before speaking. Take your time. Consult your body. Are there tensions, do you feel rushed or threatened, or safe and heard? Respond from your heart. Mindful speaking is a behavior particularly useful when it comes to mindfulness at work. 7. Mindful listening Listen. Just listen. Without thinking about your reply. Without planning when to jump in and retort. Make a choice to stay open and attentive and let the words you are hearing from someone else really touch you. Mindful listening can really help improve your communication skills. 8. Mindful moment This mindful behavioral habit helps you to get out of your mind and into your body fast. It's great if something is playing on your brain or you're struggling to focus during the day. Simply stop what you're doing and rub your hands together repeatedly. That's it. Focus on the warmth that's generated. Do it a few times, take a few deep breaths, then head back to your task. 9. Mindful eating At least for the first few bites – and preferably the whole meal – really take your time when eating your meals or snacks. See the colours and texture of your food. Taste it, smell it, and feel the consistency and temperature. Every bite is unique! Do not rush your food. Slow eating is also better for your digestion. 10. Mindful pause So often we try to fill our days with as much as possible, but we need to take time out during the day too. Take in the signals from your body. Pause to listen to your thoughts, emotions and body sensations. Accept them as they are here and now and then focus on your breath before you go back to whatever you were doing. 11. Mindful self-talk Be mindful of how you treat yourself. Be honest with yourself but do not be harsh. Acceptance precedes change. Honestly acknowledge what is, and start with a gentle step. Do not beat yourself up but gently motivate yourself, especially after a drawback. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a dear friend. 12. Mindful encounter Rest in deep gratitude for the power of friendships. On the way to meeting a friend, bring to mind the good times you had and what you appreciate about that person. During your time together, rest in openness and gratitude for your friendship and celebrate what a wonderful thing it is. 13. Mindful breathing Here’s a mindful behavior to relax you, great if you can’t sleep. Breathe in through your nose for four seconds, deep into your abdomen. Hold for four more seconds, then breathe out for four more through your mouth. Pause for four more, then repeat! This mindful breathing isn't just for bedtime, though. Use throughout the day, whenever you're feeling anxious or in need of some calm. ● Mindful behavior: the takeaway Incorporating mindful behavior and habits into your day-to-day life can only bring great benefits to you and those around you. By using these practical tools you will start to be more present and aware, as well as open and receptive to how you're actually feeling and the world around you. Main image: shutterstock/fizkes Which of these mindful behavioral tools helped you most? Do you have any others to add to the list? Join our conversations around mindfulness and meditation in our forum. If you’re interested in learning more deeply about mindfulness, sign up for our free MBSR course. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Motivation | Keys to Happiness | Lemonading Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our online magazine, and is a lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

Neurodivergent individuals express and receive affection differently to the majority. So, from info dumping to parallel play, discover the five distinct neurodivergent love languages and learn how to effectively express affection to those with neurodiversity. By Dee Marques. When it comes to love, we all have a unique way to express it and experience it. The concept of love languages – our preferred way to show and receive love – can help improve the quality of our relationships. But what about those who think and feel differently, such as neurodivergent individuals? After all, if neurodivergence can shape how someone interacts with the world, it can also influence how they express and receive love. Before exploring the unique love languages of neurodivergent people, let’s revisit the original concept of love languages. This was introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. According to Chapman, the five standard love languages are: Words of affirmation Expressing affection through spoken or written words such as compliments, encouragement, or written reminders of appreciation. Acts of service Showing love by doing helpful things, whether they’re small gestures like making a cup of coffee, or practical actions like running errands or helping with chores. Gifts Demonstrating love with tangible tokens of affection (big or small). Quality time Spending time together without distractions, focusing on creating shared moments that strengthen the connection. Physical touch Showing care through touch, like hugging, holding hands, or kissing. Neurodivergence refers to differences in how the brain works, which may affect the way a person thinks, learns, and communicates. It encompasses conditions like autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and others. What's more, neurodiversity is more common than you may think; in the UK, approximately 15% of people are estimated to be neurodivergent, while in the USA, the figure is around 20%. Deep pressure AKA Please Crush My Soul Back Into My Body Standard love languages don’t always align with how neurodivergent individuals express and experience affection. So, let's look at neurodivergent love languages and some tips on how to create opportunities for deeper understanding and connection in your relationships. Neurodivergent Love Languages Explained Neurodivergent love languages expand on the original concept to reflect the unique needs and expressions of individuals who experience the world differently. These languages recognise the sensory preferences, emotional processing, and communication styles that are more common and natural among neurodivergent people. RELATED: Mindful Listening – 6 Ways to Improve Conversational Skills Neurodivergent love languages don’t replace the original five, but rather offer a complementary framework to understand the diversity of human experiences like love. They do so by drawing attention to non-neurotypical emotional bids, the gestures and behaviours that “put up a call” for attention and connection. Understanding how neurodivergent people bid can help us respond in a way that’s meaningful for them. The 5 Neurodivergent Love Languages The five neurodivergent love languages are: info-dumping, parallel play, support swapping, Deep Pressure AKA Please Crush My Soul Back Into My Body, and Penguin Pebbling. Let’s look in detail at the five specific neurodivergent or ADHD love languages: 1. Info Dumping First in this list of neurodivergent love languages is info dumping, which involves passionately talking about a favourite topic, sometimes in great detail. For neurodivergent individuals, sharing their “spins” or special interests can be a profound way to connect, since sharing interests invites the listener into the speaker’s inner world, fostering connection. “Neurodivergent love languages recognise the sensory preferences, emotional processing, and communication styles that are more common and natural among neurodivergent people.” Info dumping is especially meaningful for non-neurotypical people, since their interests can be incredibly specific or obscure. Because of this, sometimes they assume that others will not be interested and they keep it to themselves, so sharing is a sign of trust. 2. Parallel Play Also known as body doubling or being alone together, parallel play in adults means spending time together doing separate activities side by side. Examples of parallel play in adults include reading different books in the same couch or one partner doing sudoku while the other knits. Neurodivergent individuals often value presence over direct interaction. Don’t assume that lack of conversation equals disconnection: parallel play in adults removes the pressure of constant communication that can be overwhelming to neurodivergent people. Sharing silence is still sharing a meaningful moment, not to mention that being the body double serves as a physical anchor to a neurodivergent partner. Parallel Play is one of the ADHD love languages 3. Support Swapping Support swapping is about offering practical help, focusing on specific needs related to sensory or emotional regulation. Examples include offering to handle overwhelming tasks, like making phone calls or paying bills. Support swapping is related to spoon theory, which claims that neurodivergent people have limited or inconsistent energy reserves (aka spoons) available to get through the day. When running low on “spoons”, getting practical support can mean a lot to a neurodivergent person, as it demonstrates understanding of their unique challenges and willingness to ease their burdens. 4. Deep Pressure/Please Crush My Soul Back Into My Body Deep pressure, the fourth of the ADHD love languages, recognises the needs of those with different sensory profiles. This type of stimulation provides a sense of calm and emotional connection, since some non-neurotypical people intentionally seek strong sensory input, like heavy blankets or tight hugs. RELATED: National Hug Day – 7 Reasons to Embrace More Deep pressure is also known as Please Crush My Soul Back Into My Body. A firm and prolonged hug during a stressful moment can make your partner feel grounded, centred, and held. This helps regulate their nervous system, offering both physical and emotional comfort. 5. Penguin Pebbling Penguin pebbling, inspired by the behaviour of penguins offering pebbles to their mates, expresses love through small and thoughtful gestures. For neurodivergent individuals, these acts of kindness can carry significant emotional weight, offering a subtle but powerful way to express affection without needing overwhelming emotional displays. Pebbling demonstrates care through intentional everyday actions that are meaningful to the recipient. It can be as simple as sharing a favourite meme, making a cup of herbal tea, sending a comforting playlist, or leaving a loving handwritten note. Finding your Neurodivergent Love Language Understanding your and your partner’s love languages can help build better relationships. If you or your loved one are neurodivergent, it can be helpful to explore which expressions of affection resonate better. You can do this by asking yourselves questions such as: What makes me feel most appreciated in a relationship? What comes easy or naturally to me when it comes to showing love to others? When I’m feeling overwhelmed or stressed, what kind of support do I find most comforting? Are there sensory preferences that shape how I express or receive affection? Are there specific actions that irritate or alienate me, even if intended to show love? What actions or behaviours from others make me feel safe and understood? Nurturing Neurodivergent Relationships Building strong relationships with neurodivergent individuals requires empathy, adaptability, and open communication. Challenges like sensory differences, different communication styles, or different ways of handling and expressing emotional intimacy can arise and cause frustration to both parties. “Neurodivergent individuals often value presence over direct interaction. Don’t assume that lack of conversation equals disconnection: parallel play in adults removes the pressure of constant communication.” But there are practical things that can help nurture these relationships and minimise misunderstandings. Part of it involves learning to speak the same love language, as well as keeping in mind the following tips: Practice active listening Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues to understand preferences and boundaries when expressing affection. Be patient Give your partner time to process emotions and thoughts, especially during high-stress situations. Communicate clearly Use direct language to minimise misinterpretation, especially when discussing complex or emotional topics, and avoid assuming or mind-reading. Respect sensory needs Be mindful of sensory sensitivities and try to create environments that feel safe and comfortable. Celebrate differences Don’t forget to reflect on the uniqueness and strengths that neurodivergence brings to a relationship, and create spaces to celebrate it. Takeaway: Neurodivergent Love Languages Love languages can help us build and nurture more satisfying relationships, and neurodivergent love languages take this a step further by recognising the diverse ways in which people connect. Expressions of affection like info dumping, parallel play, support swapping, deep pressure, and penguin pebbling, highlight the beauty of individuality in relationships. By embracing neurodivergent love languages, you can foster deeper connections and do your part to create a world where love is as diverse as the people who experience it. ● Images: shutterstock/Srdjan Randjelovic, shutterstock/PeopleImages.com - Yuri A happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Compassion | Friendship | Kindness Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

As keen birder Calvin Holbrook explains, the mindful nature of bird watching makes it both a happy – and healing – hobby. From reducing stress levels to providing moments of breathtaking awe, discover seven key mental health benefits of bird watching. My interest in bird watching came totally out of the blue. Well, a shade of blue that is: turquoise, in fact. A stunning colour on the gleaming coat of a male kingfisher swooping in front of me on a river walk. My experience with this long-beaked beauty lasted just a couple of seconds – a flash and it was gone – but it will stay with me a lifetime. Furthermore, it sparked a curiosity in me to start ‘birding’ and experience the many mental health benefits bird watching has to offer. Indeed, the timing of the kingfisher showing up couldn't have been better in terms of my own mental health. I'd recently moved back home to care for my seriously ill mother when COVID hit: a double-whammy of new responsibilities, emotional upheaval, pain and challenges. On the upside, I was lucky enough to be based on an island. It provided me with a stunning coastline and a multitude of woods, forests and marshes to explore. My prescribed daily walk in nature kept my sanity under check, and it wasn't until my encounter with the kingfisher that I really began to be aware of all the different types of birds around me. The majestic kingfisher shutterstock/Sacharewicz Patryk In my local park I started noticing the colours of the jay and the excessively loud squarks it would make. On heathland strolls I was lucky enough to spot hard-to-find yellowhammers and the equally rare Dartford Warbler. And during marsh visits I was blessed to witness many of the giant white-tailed eagles that had been released here on the Isle of Wight. Robins, woodpeckers, sparrows; I had my eye on them all. But what I really noticed while watching my feathered friends was the benefits bird watching made to my mental health. While out birding, a sense of calm, grace and awe would regularly wash over me. 7 health benefits of bird watching And it turns out I'm not alone in noticing the multiple mental (and physical) health benefits that bird watching provides. Multiple studies have shown the advantages of bird watching, and with a 2004 survey showing that almost 3 million adults in the UK regularly go birding, that's a lot of people that could be seeing improvements in their mental health. So, here are seven specific ways that bird watching has benefited my mental health – perhaps it will do the same for you, too? 1. It encourages mindfulness Bird watching is essentially an act of mindfulness, and we all know some of the proven health benefits that can bring – reduced rumination and lowered blood pressure to name but two. In fact, practising mindfulness specifically through birdwatching has been scientifically shown to improve mental health. In a 2017 study published in BioScience, scientists from England’s University of Exeter proved that when people witnessed more birds in their daily lives, they experienced reduced prevalence and severity of depression, stress, and anxiety. Furthermore, participants didn’t even need to interact with the birds directly: simply watching them was enough to signify an improvement in mental health. Additionally, research from the University of Surrey has suggested that actively listening to birdsong contributes to perceived stress recovery and attention restoration. I've experienced these reported benefits of bird watching first-hand. While I was caring for my mother – and during the grief that has followed since her death – walking in my local parks and the mindful manner of bird watching has provided me with the opportunity to 'press pause' on painful feelings and celebrate the beauty of nature and simplicity. Bird watching requires us to shift our attention and awareness, living fully in the present moment (the essence of mindfulness). Bird watching offers many mental health benefits It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a garden; you can feel the benefits of bird watching by practising it from a balcony, window, or by going to your local park or woodland. Stay fully mindful and be sure to focus your attention on how the birds look and sound. Examine the details in their plumage and explore the colours. Do you see any patterns? How long is its beak? What do the claws look like? Can you spot the differences between the male and female of the species? Also, be sure to focus on their calls. Is the sound high- or low-pitched? Are there any patterns in the noises they make? Can you hear a species ‘talking’ to each other? Can you try and imitate their calls? Also, what behaviour do they display? By immersing yourself in the world of the bird your mind should shift away from your worries or other thoughts. 2. It keeps you physically active You may think the exercise attached to spotting birds involves little more than standing still and flexing your arms as you lift a pair of binoculars, but you'd be wrong! As bird watching is mainly an outdoor activity it often involves walking or hiking around different terrains – woodland, shrub, marsh, clifftop. Indeed, many of the more interesting or hard-to-find species may be lurking in more remote areas away from human activity, meaning more effort is required to reach them. And, as you may already know, the benefits of exercise are both physical and mental. Exercise – even walking for a time – leads to an increase in endorphins, one of our so-called happiness hormones, which helps to boost mood and reduce stress. 3. Nature is healing To experience the full health benefits of bird watching you need to get out of your home and in to nature. According to studies, natural environments are proven to have two huge benefits when it comes to our emotions. Firstly, being regularly connected to nature leads to a reduction in stress and mood improvement. Scientists have found a correlation between exposure to natural stimuli (such as birds), reduced stress and anger, and improvement in reported well-being and mental health. “Taking the time to focus on our feathered friends during bird watching requires us to shift our attention and awareness, living fully in the present moment (the essence of mindfulness).” The second emotional benefit of being in nature may not be so obvious. It involves developing stronger bonds with others. That's because an improved and more relaxed frame of mind translates to a deeper attitude of compassion, that, in turn, can improve the quality of our social bonds. Furthermore, spending time out in nature brings forth emotions like joy, awe, serenity, inspiration and gratitude. Consider topping up the mental health benefits of bird watching by combining it with a forest bathing session for a deeply relaxing and rejuvenating experience. Take a break from your screens, switch off your phones, and go birding outside. Your author with his trusted binoculars 4. It keeps you social I prefer to go bird watching by myself – I find the calm and peace of being alone with nature healing and restorative – but that doesn’t mean I am without company. Indeed, the hobby of birding generates a thriving community of like-minded individuals that like to chat, share stories and tips, and, well, just have a laugh. In fact, if you head to a renowned birding spot over and again, you're bound to bump into fellow birders who will soon become familiar faces, and perhaps even friends. Indeed, another advantage of bird watching is that it can be a great way to make new buddies and the mental health benefits of staying social are well proven: not only does it reduce loneliness and boost well-being, but it can sharpen memory and cognitive skills, too. 5. It provide moments of awe Last year, after a day on the beach in a remote woodside beach in Tarragona, Spain, a bird I have been desperate to spot – the exotic-looking Eurasian hoopoe – flew down from nowhere and paraded its plumage and elongated beak right in front of me. This left me awestruck for the rest of the day. Such moments of awe and wonder make up another of the mental health benefits of bird watching. That's because studies have shown that awe can decrease stress levels, increase generosity and kindness, and make us feel happier overall. RELATED: 8 reasons why awe makes you life better Psychologist Jonah Paquette explains the value of awe in his book Awestruck. In it, he writes: “Awe blurs the line between the self and the world around us, diminishes the ego, and links us to the greater forces that surround us in the world and the larger universe.” Bird watching provides many opportunities to experience wonder, surprise and amazement. Whether it’s spotting a new bird species, hearing an unusual call, or watching a display or mating ritual, bird watching definitely provides many awe-some moments. Bird watching can be awe-inspiring shutterstock/Reni Rudisin 6. It stimulates and challenges Yes, bird watching is relaxing but it definitely won't leave you horizontal. In fact, birding keeps you alert and can be challenging, another mental health benefit. Indeed, trying to spot a bird after hearing its call is part of the fun, but it's rarely easy. Challenge yourself to spot a sneaky woodpecker in the branches after hearing its familiar tap-tap-tap sound and you'll likely be scouring the tree for ages before you uncover it. “Awe and wonder make up another of the mental health benefits of bird watching. Studies have shown that awe can decrease stress levels, increase generosity and kindness, and make us happier.” While my mum was seriously ill I challenged myself to train a pair of nesting robins to feed from my hand. Every day I'd go sit on the same bench and the same robin would be back to take seeds from me; first from the bench itself and then later from my legs. Within a fortnight it was brave enough to take the food directly from my hand. Watching this little red-breasted bird then pass the food to its partner (and perhaps keeping a chick alive) was particularly life-affirming when the life of the person I loved most was fading. Trying to spot and identify new species is also a stimulating challenge. Birds will often tease us, flitting in and out of trees to get our attention then zipping off again the moment you've managed to get your binoculars on them. So, it takes time and effort to track them down sometimes. According to CareUK, the process of looking for birds and identifying the species can even be calming for people living with dementia. Furthermore, repetition – in the form of visiting the same places and seeing the same birds – can also be reassuring to someone living with cognitive impairment. 7. It'll make you laugh My final health benefit of bird watching relates to the humour it often provides. Remember that old saying that 'laughter is the best medicine'? Well, the studies back it up: in the short-term laughter reduces stress and soothes tensions. In the long-term it can relieve pain, boost overall mood and even improve your immune system. And when you stop to pay attention you will see that birds have fascinating lives that are as funny to observe as they are beautiful. If you pay close attention to their habits and behaviours you will see some hilarious antics when they are feeding, mating or fighting. It can be like watching a soap opera – but in a feathery format! Some birding tips Purchase a small pair of basic binoculars online or from a second-hand shop. An essential item for a budding birder, binoculars will help you get a closer look at birds that are in the distance so you can examine them in more detail. Take a pocket book of birds with you when you go out in nature so you can try and identify them and tick off any new finds. Great for adults and kids. Tread carefully and don’t make too much noise as not to scare them off. Visit the same places daily and you may be able to build a bond with the birds. Put up bird feeders in your garden or leave seeds on your balcony. Once you start attracting birds to your outside space through food, they will remember it and come back regularly, increasing the amount of mindful bird watching time you can get. The takeaway: bird watching and mental health From reducing stress to providing real moments of awe, the mental health benefits of bird watching are many. It's something you can do by yourself or as a family activity, and the birding community is welcoming and friendly. The mindful practice of birding is also fun, free and gets you out in nature. So, what's not to love? And if, like me, you only ever get to see a kingfisher once, I promise you it will be worth it for that alone! • Main image: shutterstock/soft_light happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Trust | Sound baths | Pets | Stress management Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

In today's noisy and unsettling world, in can be difficult to find inner peace and tranquility. Dee Marques explores the three key techniques that can help: mindfulness, shadow work and cultivating equanimity. It’s true that human history has always been marked by unsavoury events, but perhaps you share the feeling that these days, conflict, hatred, and violence suddenly seem to be all around us. Feeling you don’t really know what’s happening to the world is deeply unsettling and can threaten your inner peace and happiness. Yet, there are things you can do to counteract these emotions. Here are some ideas on how you can promote inner peace within yourself – and with others – regardless of how uncertain the world around us may be. Finding inner peace When dealing with hatred and violence, finding ways to promote inner peace requires mindful action. Here are the three key techniques you can use to try and find that inner calm and quiet. 1. Mindfulness Our first suggestion is to practise mindfulness. Not just because of its ability to transform your inner self, but because it can change your perception of the world, too. Indeed, scientific studies have shown that regular mindfulness practice appears to shrink the amygdala (the part of the brain that controls feelings of fear), while at the same time activating the pre-frontal cortex, which is associated with decision-making and awareness. All this means that mindfulness can help us regulate our emotions instead of simply reacting to triggers. It also helps us make more balanced judgements about what’s going on around us, as well as inside us. Discover some great mindfulness tips, such as mindful eating and drinking, gratitude walks and creating a start-of-the-day ritual. Finding inner peace through gratitude walks 2. Shadow work When it comes to finding inner peace and calm, our second suggestion is to engage in shadow work. This transformational practice is based on the idea that our feelings and perceptions about ourselves dominate the way we feel and act towards others. The shadow is the “negative you” or “your dark side”. With shadow work, instead of pushing it to the back of your mind or repressing it (as most of us feel tempted to do), you should explore it. This helps you to learn more about your own prejudices and misconceptions. The basic outline of shadow work looks like this: Acknowledge the negative emotions triggered by some people, news or events. Connect with your shadow and establish a conversation with it. What is it trying to achieve? Is its overall intention positive or negative? In most cases, your shadow holds on to negative emotions to protect you from harm. Can you find other ways of achieving the same without getting caught in a negative circle or without blaming others? Last but not least, remember that peace is not a goal that can be reached through certain mediums, but rather peace is the medium itself. In other words, use peace to bring inner peace by showing kindness and consideration towards your body and mind. For example, loving-kindness meditation has been proven to reduce self-criticism, promote peace with ourselves and others, and generate positive feelings towards strangers. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Loving kindness meditation for inner peace YouTube/LovingKindnessMeditation 3. Cultivating equanimity Cultivating equanimity can also help you to find inner peace and also peace with the outside world. Equanimity is one of the Four Sublime States in the Buddhist tradition, and the word derives from Sanskrit expression that means “to see without interference”. RELATED: How to Stop Thinking About Something: 9 Strategies Equanimity is also defined as even-mindedness, a balanced reaction to both positive and negative events or thoughts, and the ability to achieve a state of mind that cannot be affected by bias and prejudice, but that's driven by compassion instead. “Finding ways to promote peace requires mindful action. Basically, you’ll need to disarm the inner world first in order to disarm the outer world.” Cultivating equanimity involves re-wiring your brain through conscious practise. Yoga (especially gratitude yoga) provides the ideal conditions to work on this. Find your equanimity mantra (something that reminds you of the need to stay unbiased), start your yoga session, and take note of any negative reactions triggered by thoughts or people you dislike. Keep referring to your equanimity mantra while acknowledging that you are responsible for your own happiness and peace of mind. Finding peace in the outside world Of course, we should all do our best not only to promote inner peace in our minds, but also in the outside world. To do that, you don’t need to make grand gestures. As Buddhist author and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh said: “Learn the art of making one person happy, and you will learn to express your love for the whole of humanity and all beings.” So, here are 10 easy-to-put-into-action gestures of peace and kindness: Send a heart-felt handwritten card to a friend or relative Compliment a colleague and express how much you appreciate them Offer a small gift (e.g. fruit, biscuits) to the person who delivers your post Donate to a charity shop Volunteering is important. Try it at a shelter or soup kitchen Offer your place in the queue to the person behind you (or try another random act of kindness) Track down an old teacher or lecturer, and send them a note of appreciation Bake some treats and take them to work to share with colleagues Let another driver into your lane Strike up a conversation with a homeless person Meditation can help you to cultivate inner peace shuttertsock/Jack Frog When it comes to finding inner peace and calm in troubled times, it’s important to resist isolation, even if this seems to go against our most basic instincts. For example, you could get involved in community-building initiatives, as this can help establish meaningful conversations with those who hold different views. You can also join non-violence organizations, or learn more about how prejudice and stereotypes affect us by signing up to prejudice reduction workshops or seminars in your local area or online. The takeaway: finding inner peace Finding kindness and peace within yourself and in the world won’t happen overnight, but mindfulness practise, shadow work, cultivating equanimity, and resisting isolation are within the path to hope and joy. To cope with the troubled times we're currently living in, you’ll need to be persistent and willing to challenge your inner self. ● Main image: shutterstock/marvent happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Gratitude | Meditation | Volunteering | Inner turmoil Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Is it possible to relieve stress, improve heart health and reap other benefits simply by regulating our breath? Sonia Vadlamani explains how conscious breathing can contribute towards better mental and physical health. Plus, learn how to practise it from home. Breath is vital for life. We’re always breathing, yet it’s something that most of us are barely aware of. However, our natural breathing rhythms can have a substantial impact on how both our body and mind function. Research shows that our breathing patterns change according to the emotions or thoughts we’re experiencing. For example, we tend to draw slow, deeper breaths when we’re happy, resulting in the release of happiness hormones. In contrast, we take sharp, shallow breaths when we’re angry or stressed, activating the stress receptors in the amygdala region in the brain. Indeed, in the current climate of a global pandemic, living with stress and anxiety has become increasingly commonplace, and hence keeping a periodic check on stress levels and devising effective stress management methods is more crucial than ever. Conscious breathing can help to reduce stress shutterstock/UfaBizPhoto What is conscious breathing? As the name suggests, conscious breathing involves bringing awareness towards your breath and then altering it deliberately to achieve a desired outcome. Also known as controlled breathing, conscious breathing can help us recognize our response towards stressors and emotions, enabling us to manage our stress in a better manner, thus preventing conditions like burnout, anxiety and depression. There is ample research that establishes a strong connection between our breathing patterns, pace of breathing and our corresponding thoughts, emotions and behavior. This makes conscious breathing massively effective – modifying the pace of our breathing can slow down our heart rate, modulate stress triggers and enable us to think more rationally. “Conscious breathing can help us recognize our response towards stressors and emotions, enabling us to manage our stress in a better manner.” While conscious breathing may sound like a modern-era invention, recommendations for breath modulation techniques for better health date back to first millennium B.C. Ancient religions like Hinduism and Taoism have advocated breath as an ‘essential life-force’ in the form of prana and qi respectively. Interestingly, yogic practices like pranayama or ‘breath-retention’ utilize controlled breathing techniques for enhancing concentration and vitality. RELATED: Tummo Breathing and Meditation: a Guide Breathing is “meditation for people who can’t meditate”, states Dr Belisa Vranich, the author of the best-selling book Breathe. Indeed, most relaxation therapies and stress-relief techniques utilize breathwork as their anchor, as breathing is the common factor involved in these methods for calming the body and the mind. A simple way to practise conscious breathing Conscious breathing is simple to practise and doesn’t require any specialized equipment. What's more, it can be practised by children and adults alike, from the comfort of their home. However, it’s essential to set aside some time to truly be able to reap the benefits. Here’s a simple mindful breathing practice you can follow with ease: Start by getting into the right posture – seated or lying down – keeping your spine in a neutral position. Place one or both hands on your belly. Inhale slowly and feel the sense of expansion as your breath reaches where your hand is. Hold your breath to a count of 3. You can adjust this duration as per your comfort. Exhale slowly as you feel the belly muscles underneath your hands relaxing. Observe your breath pattern for at least 4 - 10 minutes. During this practice, be sure to engage in diaphragmatic breathing. This involves inhaling deeply as you expand the belly, and then exhaling slowly as you contract the diaphragm and allow the belly to deflate. You can combine conscious breathing with a form of meditation or even restorative yoga to increase its effectiveness. Merging conscious breathing with mindfulness meditation can boost memory power as well. The benefits of conscious breathing Here are some ways in which conscious breathing can improve your quality of life and help you sustain better well-being: 1. Relaxes the nervous system When confronted with danger, our nervous system or sympathetic drive generates a ‘fight-or-flight’ response which can potentially help us rise to face a challenge. However, sometimes the smallest and everyday woes like a traffic jam and impending deadlines begin invoking this involuntary stress response on a continued basis. This can result in immune system suppression or even conditions like depression and anxiety, owing to the excessive stress build-up. RELATED: Outdoor Meditation: How to Meditate in Nature Resetting our breathing pattern can calm down the nervous system, preventing a perennial sympathetic overdrive condition. Conscious breathing allows activation of the parasympathetic nervous system, or the ‘rest-and-digest’ signal, which enables us to function in a relaxed state. 2. Creates energy boost Conscious breathing involves taking deep, slow breaths as you engage your abdominal muscles and diaphragm, instead of stressing the shoulder and neck areas as most of us are usually habituated to. Engaging respiratory muscles in this manner enables better oxygen supply for the tissues and cells in the body. This increased oxygen reach can make us feel more energized, focused, and can even boost productivity. 3. Helps you focus Sometimes it’s difficult to concentrate on the task at hand or meditate properly because of our inability to focus. Indeed, billboards, constantly buzzing phones and other technological inventions contend for our attention all the time, making it more difficult to be able to concentrate on a single thought or task. Breathing consciously boosts focus and attention Conscious breathing requires us to focus on our breathing pattern, which can help us calm our senses and organize our thought patterns in a productive manner. A 2017 breathing intervention study from Beijing Normal University that involved 40 individuals found that diaphragmatic breathing could enhance sustained attention, in addition to a dip in cortisol (the body's main stress hormone). 4. Relieves muscle tension We tend to hold our breath or draw irregular breaths when we’re tensed or are faced with stress stimuli, which allows our sympathetic nervous drive to kick in. While this response to stress can be helpful in the short-term, drawing shallower and faster breaths can easily become a habitual trait, which may involuntarily result in constant muscle tension, especially in the neck and upper back areas. A 2018 study from Thailand's Khon Kaen University involving female subjects with neck tension and pain complaints found that deep and slow breathing practices reduce muscle tension, pain alleviation, and improved heartrate variability, even in the short run. Progressive muscle relaxation is another therapeutic method prescribed for relieving muscle tension and averting anxiety, with the help of conscious breathing techniques. 5. Enhances emotional wellbeing “Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor,” advocated Thích Nhat Hanh, the world-renowned spiritual teacher and mindfulness expert. By calming down our nervous system, conscious breathing offers clarity in thought and enables us to be mindful of our feelings. “There is ample research that establishes a strong connection between our breathing patterns, pace of breathing and our corresponding thoughts, emotions, and behavior.” The idea here is not to eradicate the unpleasant emotional states entirely, but to gradually learn to be aware of them and experience them with self-compassion. This process allows us to respond to our emotions in a productive and helpful manner, thus potentially preventing the tendency to ruminate and improving our emotional wellbeing. 6. Regulates blood pressure Taking a deep breath could help reduce stress and prevent your blood pressure from spiking. Indeed, research suggests that controlled breathing can improve one’s ‘baroreflex sensitivity’, thus regulating blood pressure and preventing hypertension. Conscious breathing can be utilized as a therapeutic approach for boosting heart health and improving vigor. 7. Enables better decision-making Research shows that taking deep and controlled breaths can accelerate vagal nerve activity, thereby improving heart rate variability and lowering stress levels, in addition to aiding better decision-making ability. Indeed, Navy SEALs and chess champions have relied on conscious breathing techniques like ‘box breathing’ to be able to make sound decisions when under stress. RELATED: Uncovering the Healing Power of the Breath In a collaborative study from 2019, researchers from Belgium, France and the Seychelles asked management students to follow the ‘5-2-7 pattern breathing technique’. This method entails inhalation for the count of 5, holding the breath for 2 counts and exhalation for 7 counts. The students carried out the breathing exercise before answering a series of questions in a decision-making test. In addition to facilitating better decision-making, the researchers found that conscious breathing also prevented post-performance stress among the students. 8. Lowers stress and anxiety Research points out that our degree of ‘alertness’, or how ‘awake’ we are, determines the course of action we choose when we are under psychological pressure or in a potentially stressful situation. While being ‘optimally alert’ can improve our mental performance, thus boosting our decision-making ability, alertness beyond the critical point can trigger stress, ultimately hampering performance under duress. Interestingly, conscious breathing tends to modify one’s arousal levels to the ‘optimal or conditioned level’ required for enhanced mental performance, while controlling any further rise in arousal levels, thus keeping stress and anxiety at bay. Round up: conscious breathing In conclusion, the advice to slow down your breath and pay attention to the same is not just a generic suggestion or mere commonsense, but a statement that holds merit. Taking deep, diaphragmatic breaths and focusing on the pace of our breath can impact our body and mind in a positive manner. Acknowledging the power of conscious breathing can be empowering, as it can enable us to draw from our innate wisdom and make headway towards a positive transformation. • Main image: shutterstock/AKSAMIT happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips Stress management | Motivation | Burnout Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

If you struggle to give your full attention to others when in conversation, mindful listening can help you improve your conversation skills. Dee Marques explains six ways to develop the practice and the benefits so-called 'deep' or 'active' listening can bring. Have you ever been chatting with a friend and realised they were not really not giving you their full attention? Perhaps their eyes were darting off away from yours, or they were fiddling with their mobile phone whilst pretending to listen? Likewise, maybe you’ve been in conversation with someone, nodding and smiling, but in your head you were actually planning what you were going to make for dinner that night? If these scenarios sound familiar, then you could definitely benefit from practising what's known as mindful listening or deep listening. You see, there are so many distractions in everyday life that many of us feel that it’s increasingly hard to pay attention to what others are saying. Indeed, researchers have found that the human attention span is actually decreasing, and many people find it hard to concentrate on a conversation without their minds wandering to other matters. So, if you’re struggling with this, it may be time to consider what can be done to sharpen your mindful listening skills. So, what is mindful listening? Mindful or 'deep' listening is a way of applying the principles of mindfulness to personal interactions. These principles include: Focusing all our attention in the present and finding purpose in it. Being fully in the present, with all our senses engaged in the experience we’re living. Suspending judgement on the things we come across, as a judgmental attitude is a major distraction and an obstacle to being able to pay attention. One of the ultimate goals of mindful listening is training our brain to mute thoughts that compete for our attention while we’re in conversation. This is so we can truly hear the message behind someone's words. Having a better awareness of the present and a non-judgmental attitude can help us become better listeners. Indeed, this is the essence of mindful listening. Give your full attention to listening mindfully shutterstock/fizkes How to practise mindful listening: 6 tips To develop the skill of mindful listening, most of us will need to train our brains to focus on what the person in front of us is saying. Here are six steps to help you on your way and improve your communication skills. 1. Start with the right intention The first step on the path to developing your mindful listening skills is to become more aware of the patterns that make our minds wander. Don’t expect to become a pro at mindful listening right from the start. When in conversation, remind yourself of your intention to give the other person your undivided attention, or pick a few conversations every day where you can commit to doing that. 2. Remove distractions We’re all different, so there will be other things that cause distractions for you, but common causes are mobile phones and notifications, being hungry or feeling tired. Start by putting your mobile phone away and ignoring it – don't be tempted to get it out and start scrolling. Only answer a call if it is truly essential. RELATED: Mindful behaviour – 13 practical mindfulness tools However, if you really can’t ignore the things that distract you, it’s better to reschedule the conversation and explain that you’d rather meet when you can give the other person your full, undivided attention. 3. Listen with purpose Many of us are used to getting into conversations without thinking about the real purpose of them. We also tend to hurry the other person to come up with a reply when we're chatting with them rather than allowing space to consider a response. However, taking the time to reflect and consider what we’re going to say is one of the main components of mindful listening. “Having a better awareness of the present and a judgmental attitude can help us become better listeners. That is the essence of mindful listening.” So, why not try listening for the sake of listening? Once you start to practise mindful listening, you may find that you have nothing to say in response to someone right away. Or maybe the only thing you can do is acknowledge what you’ve heard and empathize with the other person. Don’t stress about not responding to a friend and remember that the purpose is to listen and be in the present. 4. Don’t cut in If you find yourself interjecting with your own opinion, apologize and allow the person to return to what they were saying. Try to be more conscious about not interrupting people. Likewise, providing space for the speaker to pause mid-conversation is also important: they may simply be collecting their thoughts together before making another point. Don’t jump in mid-flow. Mindful listening means making sure the person you are chatting with has the chance to express themselves fully. 5. Show that you're listening Mindful listening is not only about using your ears. Indeed, use your eyes and other body language to show whoever you're talking with that you are really paying attention. So, maintain eye contact at all times and nod and smile, encouraging them to express themselves fully. Showing that you are listening mindfully in this way demonstrates that you are emotionally involved in the communication. Eye contact and smiling is a sign of mindful listening shutterstock/Aleksandra Suzi 6. Don’t make assumptions Assumptions are a major interference with our ability to communicate and understand other people. Because our mind often wanders off while the other person is still talking, we may not get the full picture (or the full meaning), which can lead to miscommunication and incorrect assumptions. Make a conscious effort to listen until someone has finished talking. Then, double check you’ve understood correctly, or repeat their message back in your own words. Mindful listening: the benefits Mindful listening has great personal and interpersonal benefits. By making a genuine effort to listen without judging, we can learn more about ourselves and become aware of our prejudices or areas where we could improve the quality of our communication. Over time and with practise, this kind of self-awareness will make us better listeners and better communicators. Because of the effort required to re-train our brain to listen mindfully, you may notice that you’re also able to concentrate better in other aspects of your everyday life. For example, you may become more productive at work or get more benefits from your meditation practice. “Mindful listening is not only about using your ears. Use your eyes and other body language to show whoever that you are really paying attention.” As for the interpersonal benefits, clearly one of the greatest advantages of mindful listening is being able to nurture better relationships with others and to make every interaction richer. And because mindful listening is a rare quality, people will notice and appreciate it, and may be more inclined to share things with you or to seek your company. Listening mindfully can help us create more genuine connections as we enter every conversation with the purpose to listen and understand the other person. The takeaway: mindful listening Mindful listening is an exercise in empathy and self-awareness that can improve the quality and depth of our relationships with others. Practising it will take re-training our brain to focus in the present and in the meaning of what’s being said. And although it may be difficult at first, the results are well worth it. Mindful listening can make us more self-aware, more focused, and able to build richer interpersonal relationships and a more fulfilling life. ● Main image: shutterstock/Shchus happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Friendship | Kindness | Compassion Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

There were many feel-good health and environmental stories in the press during July, but you may not have spotted them. Ed Gould shares his Top 10 to uplift and inspire you. Positive news may have seemed thin on the ground this summer. However, there were more feel-good news stories than you might have noticed. What were some more hopeful stories from around the world over the course of the last month? Read on to discover ten of the best. 1. Prostate cancer could be treated by iron supplements According to a report published in MediNews, patients with prostate cancer are being given a new hope for recovery thanks to an experimental use of iron. Some anti-cancer treatments are no longer as successful in defeating the disease as they once were but patients who take iron supplements tend to do better. Dr Chunhong Yan, a molecular biologist at the Georgia Cancer Center, is now using iron to create a more resistant treatment pathway for certain types of prostate cancer. “When a cell takes up iron, it undergoes different processes,” he explained. 2. Bison reintroduced to the British Isles Wild bison have been allowed to roam free in a project that seeks to improve biodiversity in British woodlands. According to a report in the Guardian, the large mammals have not been seen in the wild in the UK for over 1,000 years. Now, they are set to make a stunning return in what is being billed as a major win for other wildlife. By creating paths through densely wooded areas, bison can make more room for insects, flowering plants, reptiles and bats. The Wilder Blean project, near Canterbury, is responsible for the programme which, it's hoped, will be replicated elsewhere in future. Bison reintroduced to wild areas in UK shutterstock/Konoplytska 3. Big data analytics could unleash greater happiness According to a former Google big data executive, understanding large amounts of information through machine learning could be the answer to finding greater happiness. Seth Stephens-Davidowitz has recently written a book about success and the role being happier has to play in it. Speaking to the press, he said that big data analysis will soon be used to answer philosophical questions, like 'what makes us happy?' According to Stephens-Davidowitz, analysing the relationships of some 11,000 couples is currently ongoing to work out what it is among them that makes them happy. Once understood, it may be easier to achieve more positive outcomes. RELATED: Happy habits – 12 ways to boost joy levels daily 4. Botswana deals with AIDS crisis among babies It was not that long ago that Botswanan babies stood a high risk of being born with AIDS. The disease had reached such rates among infants that, until recently, four in ten would be born with the condition. However, following a two-decade-long mother-to-child prevention programme, there is now just a one per cent chance of a newborn suffering the same fate, according to recently released data by the World Health Organization. Health officials in Botswana think that the prevalence of AIDS in the country's babies is continuing to fall and could soon almost be eradicated. 5. Could nanobots keep teeth healthier? A report in Futurity stated that experiments are ongoing into the effects of nanobot technology on oral health. Although the idea is only being tried out on mocked-up teeth at the moment, the concept is to use tiny robots to act as toothpaste, toothbrushes, floss and mouthwash – all in one. The research into this method of cleaning teeth is being conducted University of Pennsylvania’s School of Dental Medicine. Behind the move is the idea of being able to keep teeth cleaner and healthier than many people do by brushing manually. According to the lead researcher, Hyun Koo, robotics can offer a superior method which doesn't require you to use your hands. Would you turn to nanobots for cleaner teeth? shutterstock/Rido 6. Mindfulness reduces effects of pain In positive news that anyone who suffers from chronic pain will appreciate, a large study from the San Diego School of Medicine has just been published that indicates what a powerful tool mindfulness can be with respect to pain management. Published in the scholarly journal Pain, the study found that meditative practices help the brain to detach itself from the wider nervous system, thereby blocking – or partially interrupting – the sensations of pain people would otherwise have felt. Mindful behaviour – 13 practical mindfulness tools Mindfulness at work – 6 productive tips 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged 7. On-demand pain relief technology developed A research team in the US has come up with an implant that can relieve pain when patients feel they need it –without needing to rely on drugs. The soft, flexible device blocks pain by numbing nerves. It's hoped the idea will lead to less reliance on addictive painkillers while offering patients more agency in their pain relief, the Metro reported. 8. Spain offers free train travel to its citizens According to CNN, the Spanish government has announced that free train travel will be available to everyone in the country in a bid to get people out of their cars and use more public transport. The scheme will begin in September and will offer a 100 per cent reduction on the price of fares for local and intermediate distance journeys. The idea is to help Spain meet its carbon reduction commitments and ease the financial burdens around oil and energy prices consumers are currently facing. Germany has already announced a similar three-month scheme which allows for unlimited train travel for a nominal €9 a month. RELATED: 6 ways travel benefits happiness and mental health Spain is introducing temporary free train travel shutterstock/skyNext 9. Study finds psilocybin helps mental health in small doses Psilocybin may not be a household term but it's a naturally occurring compound found in various growing matters, including some mushrooms. It's a psychedelic ingredient that's structurally similar to the neurotransmitter serotonin, and can offer feelings of euphoria (as well as some side effects). However, a new study into psilocybin has found that taking it in very small quantities – so-called micro-dosing – offers many people positive mental health outcomes with few downsides. Symptoms of anxiety, stress and depression were found to be lower compared to people who did not micro-dose psychedelic substances over the course of a 30-day period. According to numerous reports, some now hope that the use of such natural substances may become more acceptable to the medical community. 10. Commercial carbon capture project unveiled in UK A scheme to capture carbon from the atmosphere has begun in Northwich in Cheshire. This is the largest project of its kind in the UK. It is hoped that when the plant is fully operational that it will be able to capture up to 40,000 tonnes of CO2 each year it is working, according to a report in New Scientist. The people behind the scheme will produce sodium bicarbonate, commonly known as baking powder from their facility. The commercial project was partially funded by the British government. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Biology | Sustainability | Biotechnology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

People who spent more time in nature these past two years have been happier and less stressed. By Jill Suttie on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. Living through the COVID-19 pandemic has had a severe impact on people’s mental health and well-being. Restricted movement, loss and isolation have led to increases in depression, anxiety disorders, stress, sleep disorders and more. The effects have been even harsher for teens. How can we help protect our well-being during this particularly difficult time? Though a public health response is definitely called for, one way we might try to help ourselves this year is spending more time immersed in nature. In the last decade or so, research on the health benefits of nature experiences has exploded, confirming what many people know intuitively – that green spaces are good for mental well-being, whether you’re walking outdoors, looking at beautiful views, or even just seeing videos of nature. This is definitely the case for me. Even before the pandemic hit, I’d realized that I was not spending as much time outdoors as I wanted to – even though I knew from personal experience and science that being in nature made me happier, kinder and more creative. So, in January 2020, I began taking daily walks in the hills near my home, enjoying the awe-inspiring beauty while giving my mind a rest and my body a workout. Once lockdowns began, I continued my regular walks and found it helped me feel less stressed, in a better mood, and more productive. Apparently, I’m not alone. According to new research, nature has helped many people with their mental health during the pandemic. Here are some of the ways nature experiences might benefit us during this fraught time. Nature reduces stress Perhaps the most robust finding on the psychological benefits of nature is that being in green spaces reduces our stress. Experiments have shown that people who walk in a nature area – a forest or park, for example – feel less stress than those who walk in an urban setting, even when the exercise they’re getting is the same. In fact, some countries have introduced the concept of “forest bathing” to fight the effects of modern urban living. During the pandemic, many people have had to restrict their movement, making it harder to get outside. But those who could get out definitely benefitted from it, while those who couldn’t still fared better from just having views of nature. Less stress, more smiles shutterstock/Prostock-studio One study looked at how much time people spent outdoors before and during the pandemic and whether they increased or decreased their outdoor time. The researchers found that people who had maintained or increased their time outside were less stressed and had greater psychological well-being than those who’d decreased their time. RELATED: Forest bathing – 6 science-backed benefits Another study conducted during Israel‘s lockdown found that spending time outside – or even just having a natural view from one’s window – reduced stress and increased happiness. This was true even if people had suffered economically because of the pandemic – another stressor on top of an already stressful situation. A recent study suggests that one reason for this might be that being in a green space affects us physiologically, especially places rich in plant life that contain bodies of water or uneven terrain. People who were monitored while passing through green spaces were shown to sweat less, breathe better, and have greater heart rate variability (all signs of lower stress or better recovery from stress). These studies and others point to the conclusion that nature experiences are good for managing stress. Nature helps us feel restored Since the pandemic began, many of us are spending a lot more time online in Zoom meetings or Zoom classes. While it’s great to have the technology available for connecting with others and getting work done, it can be exhausting to stare at a screen for so long and try to stay focused. That’s why it can help to give ourselves an attention break by getting outdoors. Recovery from information overload (online or otherwise), sometimes called attention restoration, is one of the main ways that being in a natural or green setting gives our minds a rest. “Perhaps the most robust finding on the psychological benefits of nature is that being in green spaces reduces our stress.” After taking that break, our brains may be sharper. For example, exposure to nature helps us perform better on tasks requiring attention and can even lead to greater creative problem-solving. Even a simulated nature experience helped people recover from overstimulation and do better at cognitive tests. Why is nature restorative? No one knows for sure. But a recent neuroscience study compared the brain activity of people spending time in a wooded garden and a traffic island and found that being in the natural setting allowed their brains to synchronize alpha and theta brain waves (related to calm and daydreaming, respectively). This may explain why nature induces a kind of relaxed attention that provides people with a respite from overstimulation – something we could all use these days! Nature helps stave off depression, anxiety and physical complaints Nature may help us improve our psychological health during COVID for other reasons, too – by staving off depression, anxiety and physical complaints (like not getting enough sleep). In a study in Spain and Portugal conducted between March and May 2020, people reported on how much access they had to green spaces like private yards, views of nature, and public parks, and on their stress levels, physical complaints, and psychological distress. After taking into account how much COVID lockdowns had affected people’s employment, income, and housing situation, researchers found that people accessing nature more had lower psychological distress and fewer physical complaints than those with less access. Similarly, a study in Tokyo found that people who were locked down during the pandemic were less depressed, anxious, and lonely, and happier and more satisfied with their lives, if they spent time in green spaces (like parks) or had a view of greenery from their window. Nature makes us happier with our lives The Greater Good Science Center has joined an editorial partnership with SSIR, The Wellbeing Project, India Development Review, and The Skoll Foundation to explore the important, but often overlooked, connection between inner well-being and effective social change. This article is part of that partnership. This may be particularly relevant for groups most affected by COVID isolation – including adolescents. A recent study found that teens who spent more time outdoors during the pandemic fared better on many mental health indicators than those who spent less time outdoors – especially if they lived in an urban community. One reason nature might improve our mental health is that it helps us let go of endless thought loops about what’s wrong with the world – what psychologists call “rumination,” which is tied to depression, anxiety, and poor sleep. A recent study found that participants who spent more time interacting with nature in some way – for example, walking outside, biking, gardening, playing games or sports, or hanging out in a park – ruminated less, and in turn experienced more positive feelings and fewer negative feelings. That’s probably why a recent review of several experimental studies found that nature-based recreational activities – like walking in parks, hiking, rafting, or backpacking – have positive effects on our mental health, including making us less depressed and anxious. Nature makes us happier and more satisfied with life If nature experiences decrease stress, restore our depleted brains, and reduce rumination and other symptoms of psychological distress, they should also make us happier. Many past studies – including some of those mentioned above – have found this to be true. In one large study, researchers used smartphones to collect data from more than 20,000 people in real time comparing how they felt at different points during their day and using GPS to determine where they were. The researchers found that, overall, people felt happier when they were outdoors in green or natural spaces compared to urban spaces, regardless of the weather, activity, or who was with them. Another study surveyed people living in Puget Sound, Washington, and found that they were more satisfied with life if they engaged with nature more. “In a review of many studies, people more connected to nature tended to have more positive feelings, vitality and life satisfaction.” This may be good news for people who’ve been hit particularly hard by the pandemic – including our essential workers. In a recent study, a group of 71 health care workers and police in China were randomly assigned to watch short video clips of either natural scenes or urban scenes every day for five days, reporting their well-being over time. Those who watched the nature scenes felt more positive feelings and fewer negative feelings and greater well-being overall than those watching urban scenes. In a review of many studies, researchers found that people more connected to nature (seeing themselves as part of nature and caring about the natural world) tended to have more positive feelings, vitality and life satisfaction compared to those who were less connected. All of this and more suggests that we can be happier and healthier if we maintain our connection to nature somehow during the pandemic. Whether we garden, have a view of nature out our window, visit nearby parks, or even just watch a nature video, we can help ourselves deal with the stresses and strains of COVID isolation by giving ourselves and our kids a dose of “Vitamin N.” Take it from me, you’ll be glad you did. • Main image: shutterstock/Halfpoint happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Forest bathing | Self-care | Better sleep Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is honoured to republish them with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu

For many of us, once the festive holiday season is over the January blues start to set in. But there are ways you can fight back and feel better. Dee Marques shares seven ideas on beating those blues – from holiday planning and embracing winter activities to finding new hobbies. The January blues and new year period can be particularly tough on our mental health and lead to feelings of depression. After the excesses typical of the festive season, going back to the usual daily routine can be overwhelming. Personally, I've always thought about this time of the year as an expanded version of the Monday blues – something many of us go through on a weekly basis! Furthermore, during the new year, most of us also tend to take stock of our lives. This sometimes means realising that things haven't turned out as we expected or hoped. Perhaps we look back on past resolutions to find out that we weren’t able to maintain them, or we’re saddened by memories of people who are no longer with us. We've all had a few couple of years due to the pandemic, and this challenging period is likely to continue, perhaps intensifying the January blues. Also, a season of treats, big dinners and high alcohol consumption usually means we end up with a few extra inches or pounds and a negative body image. And having friends or relatives visiting can be lovely but it can also drain our energy and lead to confrontations or fall-outs. Added to that, intense gift-buying sessions may have left us with an empty bank account. In fact, research shows that the January blues and new year depression are a very real thing. Suicides peak on New Year’s day, considered the deadliest 24 hours of the year. Also, there are links between low morale at this time of the year and an increased number of extramarital affairs. In fact, 65 per cent of all relationship break-ups happen in January. How to find meaning in life: 7 strategies The 4 signs that distinguish feeling blue from depression 8 powerful suicide prevention quotes New year depression is so prevalent that it's led to the term Blue Monday being coined. This refers to the most depressing day of the year, and it’s calculated using a formula that takes into account three things: the weather, motivation levels and debt. 7 strategies to beating the January blues In 2023, Blue Monday will fall on 16th January. So, in preparation for this dreaded day and the month beyond, here are seven scientifically-proven ideas on how to beat those January blues. 1. Embrace winter activities Physical activity is a great mood booster that is proven to help fend off depression. And although exercising is probably the last thing you feel like doing at this time of the year, the benefits are so worth it that once you get going, you’ll want to keep going! Snow limits: wrap-up and embrace a winter walk shutterstock/Nik Hoberg Indeed, recent studies claim that both short sessions of high-intensity exercise or longer sessions of low-intensity activity are effective at keeping the blues at bay. And the season itself offers opportunities to try something new, whether it's snow sports like skiing, going for countryside or coastal walk in nature, or ice skating. The strong-willed among you may even want to consider a dose of winter wild swimming! But there are still options if you don’t feel like braving the cold: saunas, steam baths and hot yoga are all excellent for well-being and beating the misery January brings. 2. Take a trip Going on a trip is scientifically-proven to improve your mood and help you beat the January blues and new year depression, especially if it’s somewhere sunny. That's because our bodies create Vitamin D from sunlight, and this vitamin is directly linked to our mood. You don’t need to go on a long trip – even a weekend getaway can make a difference. “Going on a trip is scientifically-proven to improve your mood and help you beat the January blues, especially if it's somewhere sunny.” But what if your finances are tight after the holiday season? Fear not. Interestingly, the simple fact of just planning or researching a trip can improve your mood. Studies have found that pre-trip happiness acts as a mood booster, as it fills us with anticipation of good things to come. So, even though many of us may not be able to travel to sunny climes to avoid the January blues right now, we can at least get on the net and start researching where we want to go next. 3. Skip resolutions and take up a new hobby New Year resolutions can be a double-edged sword: on the one hand, they can motivate us, but since only 8 per cent of people follow them through, failing to achieve them can make us feel inadequate. To take the pressure off and still work towards something meaningful, why not take up a new hobby for one month only? The idea is to find something that inspires you and gets you through January. If you find yourself really enjoying it, you can then continue it for the rest of the year. 4. Warm up Never underestimate the healing effect of warmth, especially during the coldest months of the year. In fact, our bodies are meant to be comforted by warmth – this is why we seek the sun or find so much pleasure in our favourite cup of tea, coffee or chocolate. A hot choc can help beat the January blues shutterstock/igorstevanovic If you’re feeling down with the January blues, take your time to enjoy a long soak in a warm, relaxing bath (even better if you add some warming essential oils like rosemary, ginger or cardamom). According to researchers, even just touching something warm can give us a little happiness boost. 5. Find something fun to do with friends January’s bleak weather and lack of funds can make it very tempting to stay home and veg out all day. But instead of giving in to staying in, it’s worth finding ways of staying active and sociable. For example, collective plans or resolutions can help you stay accountable and motivated, making you more resilient to New Year depression. “Why not take up a new hobby for one month only? The idea is to find something that inspires you and gets you through the January blues. If you find yourself really enjoy it you can carry it on for the rest of the year.” And there are tons of activities you can enjoy with others without spending a lot of money. For example, you could gather at a friend’s home and learn a new dance using YouTube videos, organize healthy and budget-friendly cooking competitions, have a wardrobe clear out and swap session, or even have a go at geocaching. 6. Eat well When it comes to our diet, Christmas and New Year are usually synonymous with excess. Some of us love to indulge in mince pies, Christmas pudding, and other high-carb and high-sugar treats, but overeating these foods can lead to low energy and a dark mood typical of the January blues. To counter this, include nourishing good mood foods in every meal, especially those rich in omega-3 oils, which according to some studies can help fight pessimism and sadness. 7. Check for SAD If you're really struggling to keep a positive mindset or if your health is negatively affected every time January arrives, you may be suffering from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). This condition affects 10 million people in the US and 1 in 3 in the UK. The symptoms include irritability, tearfulness, low self-esteem, high stress, lethargy, and a loss of interest in things that we’d normally find enjoyable. It’s important to speak to your doctor if you suspect you may have SAD, since in some people this can evolve into depressive symptoms. You should know that treatment is available and you don’t need to let this type of January blues or depression take over. Your doctor may recommend Vitamin D supplements, using a light therapy box, going for walks whenever there’s sunlight, or in some cases, medication. Conclusion: you can beat the January blues This winter, don’t let the January blues spoil your mood and well-being. Use the suggestions above to prevent the symptoms from developing, and if you find yourself struggling despite your best efforts, seek help. You’re not alone and every step you take to beat the winter blues will be a worthwhile investment in your overall physical and mental health. ● Main image: shutterstock/Marjan Apostolovic Do you struggle with the January blues? If so, head over to our forum on depression. What do you to fight back against depressive symptoms over winter? Share your ideas below! happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Resilience | Self-care | Goal setting | Anxiety Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Mental health is equally as important as physical health, and the stigma around depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses is finally being addressed. Dee Marques answers the question 'why is mental health important?' and has some tips on how to strengthen your mind. Mental health is a growing concern in our society, and for good reason. According to the Mental Health Foundation, more than 15 per cent of all adults will experience a mental health problem in any given week, and the figures increase to almost 25 per cent among young people. All over the world, mental health issues account for a significant percentage of the overall disease burden, and the figures seem to be on the rise. Thankfully, mental health is seen as increasingly important and in recent years is becoming destigmatized as people discuss it openly more and more. The truth is that mental health problems can affect everyone, irrespective of their age, social class, and financial situation. Being 'successful' in life does not make you immune to suffering mental health issues. While it’s easy to link success with happiness, and happiness with sound mental health, this isn’t always as straightforward as it seems. Sadly, we’re all familiar with recent high-profile suicides involving celebrities like Robin Williams or designers like Kate Spade and Alexander McQueen. They were all successful, wealthy, and accomplished, which teaches us a lesson on why mental health is important: mental illness can affect everyone, just like physical illness. RELATED: Dealing with suicide, bereavement and loss On this note, there’s a tendency to give more importance to physical health than to mental health. This bias towards the physical may be due to the fact that physical disease is more obvious, easier to spot. The medical field is concerned with problems that can be objectively measured (such as weight, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, etc.), but mental illness and its symptoms aren’t as visible as their physical counterparts. If anything, this makes it ever more important to be familiar with mental health warning signs and risk factors. Mental health issues can affect everyone In any case, the importance of mental health cannot and should not be underestimated. Keep reading to find out why. Why is mental health important? Research shows that an unhealthy mind will sooner or later manifest itself into an unhealthy body. An Oxford University study revealed that some disorders can reduce life expectancy by up to 20 years – that’s more than heavy smoking. Others have found that people suffering from mental illness are at a higher risk of heart problems and of early death due to heart disease. The list goes on, linking poor mental health to diabetes, osteoporosis, autoimmune skin conditions, obesity, etc. Moreover, some sources describe mental health as social, psychological, and emotional well-being. When this is absent, we become less functional in our daily routine: studies show that mental illness can make us unable to hold down a job or even to get a job in the first place. “Why is mental health important? Research shows that an unhealthy mind will sooner or later manifest itself into an unhealthy body.” Other studies show that mental disorders put an enormous strain on personal relationships, weakening family and friendship bonds, which in turn can make people feel isolated and worsen their symptoms. To sum it up, the importance of mental health lies in its connection to physical health and the essential role it plays if we want to enjoy quality of life and happiness. Common mental health problems The most common mental health problems both in the UK and the US are anxiety and depression, which affect between 10 and 18 per cent of the population respectively. The figures are similar at global level, as it’s estimated the depression affects a staggering 300 million people worldwide. Anxiety and depression are important mental health conditions Also ranking high are bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and phobias or psychoses. It’s clear that mental health problems are widespread, and in fact, the figures could be higher, as in many cases mental health issues go unreported or undiagnosed. Factors that can affect mental health There’s no single cause of mental health issues, since different factors affect people differently, but overall we can classify risk factors into three types: Genetic/physical factors Some people are born with gene abnormalities or chemical imbalances that affect the brain function. Exposure to toxic substances or even bacterial infections are other risk factors. Environmental factors Environmental factors such as poverty or significant financial difficulties, growing up in a dysfunctional family, traumatic childhood experiences, marriage breakdown, and the loss of a loved one. Belonging to vulnerable groups Vulnerable groups such as women, ethnic minorities, homeless individuals, those struggling with addictions or substance misuse, and people with existing health problems. The variety of factors teaches us something about why mental health is important: there are so many factors involved, that no one is really immune to the risks. Mental health: important symptoms It’s important to be familiar with the warning signs of mental health issues, so you can address them in their early stages. Here are a list of some of the most noticeable mental health symptoms: Changes to sleeping and eating habits. Social withdrawal. Mood swings that affect your ability to carry on with daily tasks or your relationships with others. Increased consumption of addictive substances (tobacco, alcohol, drugs, etc.). Inability to concentrate or to get rid of negative thoughts. Apathy. Loss of sex drive. Prolonged sadness or excessive worrying. Feeling hopeless, overwhelmed, and/or useless. Thoughts of self harm. Tips to strengthen your mental health Mental health is made up of different building blocks that work together, so it’s important to target as many bases as possible. Some practical ways to maintain positive mental health include: 1. Audit your own views on mental health Suffering a mental health condition doesn’t mean you’re flawed or weak and is not a reflection of your personality. You should understand that it can happen to anyone, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. 2. Build a support network with people Build a support network with people you feel comfortable discussing your feelings with and who share your views about why mental health is important. Struggling with mental health? A support network is important 3.Schedule 'me time' Take breaks and use that time productively to do things that you enjoy and that foster your creativity and sense of worth. 4. Adopt healthy daily habits From getting enough sleep to eating well. Being well rested and getting enough nutrients has a direct effect on how your brain works. Track what you eat/drink and your mood to see if you can spot any patterns. “The importance of mental health lies in its connection to physical health and the essential role it plays in quality of life and happiness.” 5. Develop coping skills Skills such as being able to identify negative thoughts so they don’t snowball into mood- and health-affecting disorders. Focus on how to become stronger and more resilient to stress, life changes, other people’s comments. On that note, mindfulness and gratitude are the crucial building blocks of resilience. 6. Keep active Exercise can boost your self-esteem and have a positive effect on your physical and mental health. Choose something that’s motivating enough so you can stick to it. 7. Get professional help if you need it. Don’t let the stigma attached to mental health issues stop you from getting stronger. Fortunately, nowadays mental health issues are being openly discussed and the importance of mental health is being recognised as a top priority. There’s professional help out there, and you’re not weaker or worthless for needing it and reaching out – if anything, you’re smarter for recognising your needs and taking action. Conclusion: why is mental health important? Being aware of the importance of mental health is one of the best ways to protect and nurture your self. This is a challenging but rewarding journey, which you can start today by using the tips we described above to strengthen your mind and live a happier life. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Trust | Sound baths | Pets | Stress management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

To celebrate World Creativity and Innovation Day, Calvin Holbrook chatted with illustrator Ava Marie Puckett – AKA Ava Marie Doodles – about her kick-ass illustrations and products that are designed to lift your spirits! Ava Marie Puckett – otherwise known as Ava Marie Doodles – is the brains behind Aviatepress, a beautiful illustration and design brand that sells handmade prints, cards and pins and the like with a feel-good and well-being twist. In her own words, Ava creates “positive, relatable doodles that garner human connection.” Indeed, her work is bright, witty and is full of messages, often touching on themes such as gratitude, happiness and kindness. In fact, Ava's positive, witty and uplifting doodles promoting self-care have become a huge hit across the globe – she currently boasts 50K followers on Instagram where she regularly posts her new designs and thoughts. We had a quick chat with Ava about her artwork and approach to mental health to celebrate World Creativity and Innovation Day. Calvin: Ava! So nice to chat You’ve based in Nashville, Tennessee. How did the recent tornado tragedy there affect you and how have the community responded? Ava: “Luckily, I was not physically affected, but some of my day-to-day life has been affected and I’ve definitely felt an emotional impact. It’s hard to see the devastation on homes and businesses that I love, just a few miles away from my own home. My studio space was slightly damaged, with power out for a couple weeks and some exterior damage from wind.” “I've definitely felt the community pull together – we are all trying to help in some way, whether that’s through volunteering, donations, or financial contributions. It’s amazing to see how much everyone was willing to give.” Ava Puckett in her studio And how are you coping with your mental health during the lockdown. Is it affecting your creativity? “I'm trying to take it one day at a time and give myself some grace as I adjust to the current climate. It's tricky, though – some things that I normally do on a daily basis to keep my mental health in check have fallen behind. I think we are all just trying to cope and do the best we can.” “As far as my creativity – it's gone up and down, just like my mood! Sometimes I find a bit of inspiration and run with it, but other times I feel sad and lonely – unmotivated to do anything at all. I did have a flash of inspiration this morning, though, which is a good way to start the week!” You’re very candid about your mental health through your blog and artwork: how does being open about these issues help you to deal with them? “It’s definitely become a part of my self-care routine. In fact, I think of it as a journal and artistic outlet. Journaling and doodling are tools that I’ve found to be very helpful in connecting the dots between feelings, experiences, and struggles I’ve had. And to be able to connect with others on what I’m experiencing, or help others feel less alone, is a very powerful thing.” I make collages and it really helps me to get into a state of ‘flow’. Does that happen with you? How does creativity help you deal with your own anxiety and/or depression? “I do. It’s amazing when you can get in that flow state, but it definitely requires a lot of work before I can get there. I’m so easily distracted by podcasts, social media, and my to-do list that I feel like I don’t get to the flow state as much as I’d like. It’s always something I’m working on.” “I’d say my personal illustration work makes me feel creative and less anxious, but since I do it for work as well, I sometimes use other creative or physical outlets to get to the flow state – like music, running, and yoga.” I’ve been living with panic attacks and anxiety for some time. What's your coping mechanism for attacks? “Oh man, panic attacks are the worst! I’ve had two or three in my life, which were both brought on my extreme situational stress. The last time I had one, I was much more prepared and in a safe place. I was able to just sit on my floor, breathe through it, and accept that it was happening. “I closed my eyes and just let my body freak out for a bit – I even made some noises like I was going into labor or something, which my therapist said was actually a healthy way to get through it!” How long have you been going to therapy and how has it changed your life? “I think I’ve been going for two-and-a-half years now and it’s been great! I’ve seen such a difference in my day-to-day life and stress levels. I’ve worked through a lot of family and personal issues I didn’t even realize were causing me anxiety: issues with food and body image, for example.” “Journaling and doodling are tools that I’ve found to be very helpful in connecting the dots between feelings, experiences, and struggles I’ve had.” “Therapy has given me validation, ways to identify negative self-talk, and an outlet to work through problems that I had been ignoring. I’ve also gotten a lot better about confrontation and standing up for myself.” What other things do you do for your self-care? “Journal, yoga, baths, walks, treats from Jeni’s, taking care of my plants, and meditation.” What are your best-selling items? “I’d say my wedding-related cards do really well, as well as my Butts Print and my Living and Learning Print.” What feedback have you had from others about how your work has helped them? “I’ve received a lot of feedback from people saying my illustrations have made them feel more understood and less alone, which is amazing. It’s made me feel the same way when I hear from others that they can relate to my work and what I’m going through.” And finally, who are your mental health heroes? Who inspires you? “My sister-in-law, who is a therapist and connected me with my therapist. Brené Brown, and other illustrators like Stacie Swift and Haley Weaver.” ● If you love Ava's designs, be sure to follow her Instagram for a daily dose of self-care doodles! Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our magazine and is a lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage. He also makes gay artwork. Find out more.

Dealing with the difficulties that life throws at us can be a struggle, but by staying resilient you can cope better and feel stronger. So, from writing it all out to practising forgiveness, here are five science-baked strategies for building resilience. People often try to cope with difficult situations and stressful periods in their lives by simply putting on a brave face – or even burying their heads in the sand and pretending that their problems aren't happening. The issue with this approach is that it fails to deal with the feelings that the situation brings up. Indeed, burying negative feelings for a long time can lead to anxiety and/or depression. Resilience refers to your capacity to recover from difficulties and ability to bounce back. Instead of pushing yourself or simply surviving, building resilience techniques will help you to stay resilient and cope better with the inevitable challenges that life throws at all of us. Staying resilient: 5 techniques to try There are many times throughout our life journey when will need to try and stay resilient. It could be because we are experiencing problems or conflicts at work or at home. Or it may be due to a more traumatic event, such as the death of a parent, serious illness, or losing a home. Of course, being and staying resilient doesn't mean that you won't experience difficulty or distress. However, by building and strengthening your resilience, you'll give yourself a better chance of coping with stress. Start by practising these five strategies for building resilience during times of adversity. 1. Tell a different story Have you ever gone over and over something bad that's happened to you in your head? Perhaps you wonder how you could have behaved differently? Known as rumination, this reliving of painful experiences does nothing to help us move on and can even lead to depression. Instead, you need to find ways of resetting your thoughts. One way to do this is called expressive writing. This involves writing down anything that comes into your head, on whatever is bothering you. This will allow you to examine your thoughts and confront them. You don't have to be great at writing; the aim is just to get your thoughts and feelings out. The write way: stay resilient by putting your thoughts on paper A study from 1998 compared expressive writers with those who wrote about superficial topics. It found that those who carried out expressive writing for four days were healthier six weeks later and also happier up to three months later. Another exercise is called 'finding silver linings'. Although it first it may not seem as though there are any benefits to a bad experience, in fact, if you did deeper you may gain insight. Perhaps this challenging experience you've been through has shown you who your real friends are, or taught you that you're stronger than you thought. These exercises will help you feel less pessimistic and you can maintain the benefits by continuing to practice them and stay resilient. “Instead of simply surviving, staying resilient helps you to cope with the inevitable challenges that life throws at you.” This resilience-building technique is also backed up by science. A 2014 study showed that finding silver linings daily for three weeks helped participants become more engaged with life afterward. It also decreased their pessimistic beliefs over time. 2. Confront your fears Adopting the practise of rewriting the narrative is useful when dealing with past problems, but doesn't help when dealing with present fears. How can we handle things that have yet to happen? You can start by slowly building up your tolerance, and gradually pushing yourself a little further every time. RELATED: Resilience quotes – 7 powerful sayings to inspire you For example, if you're nervous about taking a long-distance flight but would one day like to visit Australia, begin with a short flight and gradually extend your travels. As you become more comfortable with spending longer in the air, work your way up to a long-haul flight. This works by slowly desensitizing you with gradual and increased exposure to a situation you're afraid of or uncomfortable with. 3. Meditation Meditation and mindfulness are great tools to build resilience. They help us to stay resilient by bringing us back to the present, rather than living in the past or worrying about the future. These techniques also help us to deal with negative feelings. You can try programs like Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), which are designed to show you how to use meditation to improve your mental and physical well-being. Here at happiness.com, we have a free online MBSR course you can take. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged There are also techniques like body scan meditation, which can be used to identify where you hold stress in your body and teach you how to relax. Or, you can develop a more mindful relationship with food, rather than turning to junk food when you're stressed. Multiple studies have shown that MBSR has many health and psychological benefits, especially for those struggling with chronic disease or mental illness. Present (un)tense: become more resilient with meditation 4. Be kind to yourself We're often much harder on ourselves than we would be on other people, and think that we're alone in our fears. But being kind to yourself is essential to your well-being, so ensure you can stay resilient by practising self-compassion, and be as kind to yourself as you would be to others. This strategy to build resilience involves a three-step process: Start by being mindful of your feelings, but don't judge them. Simply acknowledge them. Remind yourself that everyone feels this way at some point. Finish by giving yourself permission to have these feelings and accept yourself as you are. If you find this difficult, ask yourself how you would treat a friend who was experiencing the same problems: you would almost certainly show kindness to them, so do the same for yourself. You can also try writing a letter to yourself, making sure it contains only words of compassion and acceptance. Be kind to yourself: self-compassion builds resilience 5. Forgiveness Forgiving others may be difficult, but holding on to grudges is also not a route to happiness. How can your well-being develop properly if you're living in the past? Begin by acknowledging what has happened, but then decide to give up your feelings of resentment so that you can move on. Contrary to what you might believe, forgiveness is for your own sake, not that of others; you will benefit from understanding other people more or finding ways in which you can learn from a painful experience. Remember that everyone is human, and the person who wronged you may be suffering their own issues. “Meditation and mindfulness are great tools to build resilience. They bring us back to the present, rather than living in the past or worrying about the future.” A 2011 study tested forgiveness against the alternatives — ruminating on negative feelings or repressing them— and found that cultivating compassion meant participants felt more empathy, positive emotions and feelings of control: all signs of building resilience and staying resilient. The takeaway: How to stay resilient We all experience difficulties in life and some of us cope with the stress better than others. However, if you're struggling, you can learn skills to build resilience and stay stronger. Viewing negative experiences in a different light can help you to stay resilient and teach you how to cope with difficult situations in the future – something that will inevitably occur at various points throughout the rest of your life. ● Main image: Colorbox.com Written by Guest author We're happy to publish articles by guest authors that will broaden the perspective and bring new insights. If you're interested in publishing an article here on happiness.com, please contact us.

Studies have shown that combining mindfulness with physical activity can help fight depression, rumination and anxiety. Our mindfulness expert Ann Vrlak looks at the benefits of mindful running and offers up six practical tips on how to do it. Have you heard of mindful running? Even if you’re not a regular runner, this combination of mindfulness and physical exercise may give you ideas on ways to bring mindfulness to another exercise to make it more powerful and enjoyable for you. What is mindful running? A common definition of mindfulness is gentle moment-to-moment awareness. When you practise mindfulness, you try to observe the thoughts, feelings, physical sensations or situations you find yourself in from one moment to the next. The key is gentle, curious attention. No criticism or judgment allowed! In the same way, people who practise mindful running pay attention to the moment while they are powering their body forward: to physical sensations, like their breath, the impact of their feet on the ground, the movements of their arms, and more. This focus takes the runner’s attention away from how far they’ve run, how far they have to go, what they have to do at work later, etc. Can you imagine how a marathoner would feel if all he or she was always thinking about how far they had to go? “ Only another 20K... another 19.5K...” Not much fun! Mindful running means no listening to music! shutterstock/NDAB Creativity The biggest plus of mindful running, and the reason it has really been catching on recently, is that it deepens and expands people’s experience of running – and of themselves. Many people run as a means to an end – they run to lose weight or reduce stress – rather than as an end in itself. So, turning running into an activity that is enjoyable is a win-win situation for runners! Mindful running: the benefits When you practise mindful running, you enjoy the usual, wonderful benefits of mindfulness: more connection to the moment, less distraction, stress-relief, more self-awareness, a sense of well-being – and more. Add the benefits of running and you have an activity that is a powerhouse for mind-body health. However, this isn't something completely new. Indeed, this kind of combination of mindfulness and physical activity is a long-standing tradition. For example, consider yoga. It's a practise that interweaves conscious physical movement with a mindful attitude. When you do yoga poses, you’re encouraged to observe and be with physical tension and relaxation, with the limits of your body and with how your attention changes your experience of your body. There is also an Eastern meditative tradition of walking meditation. This practice is taught as a practical way to link meditation to everyday activities. Students practise being mindful of every time their foot touches the earth, leaves the ground, pauses, and so on. “The biggest plus of mindful running, and the reason it has really been catching on recently, is that it deepens and expands people’s experience of running – and of themselves.” The benefits of this kind of activity has been backed up by science and there have been a few recent studies into this modern version of mindful, physical activity. For example, the combination of physical and mental effects of mindful running has led some to call it a “new therapy” for anxiety and depression. A 2018 study from the University of Southern California involving 158 college students concluded that mindful movement helps to lower anxiety and stress levels. Likewise, a 2016 study from Rutgers University, USA, involving 52 people found a strong correlation between mindful exercise and improved mental health. Participants had to carry out a 20 minute breath meditation followed by 10 minutes of walking meditation and then 30 minutes of aerobic exercise in the form of running on treadmills. Significantly, the 22 volunteers with depression reported a 40 per cent reduction in symptoms of the condition. In particular, there was much less inclination to ruminate over bad memories. RELATED: How to stop ruminating with these 3 techniques Furthermore, the benefits of mindful running can be felt while in the middle of doing it, and not just following the event. Footwear company Asics looked at how psychological factors affect running performance. It found some indications that calm minds can improve performance, and reduce heart rate and other measures of body stress. So, how do you run mindfully? Mindful running simply means being as present as you can while you are on the move. For example, rather than listening to music or watching TV on the treadmill, daydreaming or hoping the end of the run comes soon, you focus on your moment-to-moment experience: sensations in your body, the movement of your arms and legs, the feeling of your breath and, also, the activity of your mind. Here are some tips to help you put your best foot forward. 1. Start where you want to finish Before you start a run, before you even warm up, take a minute to calm your body and mind. Is running something you squeeze in after a work day? Or, is it something you “just want to get out of the way?” If this sounds like you, it will be important for you to take just two or three minutes to slow down and become present before your run. Here are two simple mindfulness practices you can try: Body scan This exercise can be done standing, sitting or lying down, with your eyes closed or open. Starting with your hands, notice how your hands feel, from the inside. Are they tingly, warm or cold? Notice as many physical sensations as you can. Then let your attention move throughout your body, from finger tips, to the top of your head and all the way to your toes. Do your best to feel each area at least a little before you move on to the next area. 4-7-8 breath This is one of the most powerful relaxation breaths. This exercise can also be done in any position, with eyes open or closed. The 4-7-8 refers to the counting cycle of your breath. You inhale to a count of four through your nose, hold your breath to a count of seven and exhale slowly to a count of eight through your mouth. Repeat four to six times. 2. Listen to yourself, not music or podcasts I know, this is probably the hardest suggestion for most of us to follow! We can’t imagine going for a run without music to keep us energized. But, remember, the purpose of mindful running is to deepen your connection with yourself, with how your run is affecting you. Try going without listening to a device for a week and see what happens. You may be surprised how much simpler and pleasant your running experience is. Mindful running: observe your thought and feelings shutterstock/KieferPix 3. Focus on the physical Become a dear and trusted friend to your body. You do your best to watch your breath. How is it feeling right now? Laboured or smooth? How is your balance? Are your shoulders tensed or relaxed? The trick is just to notice, without getting lost in trains of thought about anything you notice. Just notice with a gentle attention, and keep noticing. 4. Be interested in thoughts and feelings, too Part of your moment-to-moment experience will no doubt include thoughts and feelings. Of course, it will! They are not a problem and are simply a part of what you are mindful of. If you feel bored, notice that kindly, then let it go. Thinking about a big project at work? Notice the thought, then keep your attention moving. What else do you notice? These are all part of the flow of the moment, as you move and breathe, move and breathe. “When you practise mindful running, you enjoy the usual, wonderful benefits of mindfulness: more connection to the moment, less distraction, stress-relief, more self-awareness, a sense of well-being.” 5. Comfort your discomfort If your physical sensations go beyond neutral into discomfort, this is a cue to become even more mindful and gentle. Pay attention in as open and curious a way as you can. Is the discomfort something you can watch until it passes? Or is the discomfort telling you that you’ve hit your limit for the day? The more you practise mindful running, the more familiar you will become with your body’s language. You’ll be able to distinguish between a passing signal of fatigue, a need to adjust your stride or a body signal saying, “no more today!” 6. Finish mindfully When you finish your run, don’t just rush into whatever is next in your day. Just as you began your run, take two or three minutes of quiet time to connect with your body and mind. Notice if your thoughts and feelings are calm or agitated. And what is your body telling you? Again, just notice as kindly as you can and perhaps feel a little gratitude for whatever your experience has been. Conclusions on mindful running This crossroads of mindfulness and running has a lot to offer – whether you're coming along the road of mindfulness or running. The tradition of bringing mind and body together is at the heart of virtually every meditative tradition around the world. Mindful running is a way to create a bridge between mindfulness and everyday living, for each activity to support and deepen your experience of the other. Fitness giant Nike partnered with the popular mindfulness app Headspace to create a series of mindful running guided meditations. Try one out! If running isn’t a part of your life right now, consider trying mindful walking. Wherever you start, start slow and enjoy. ● Main image: shutterstock/sutadimages happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude | Meditation | Nature | Stress Management Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

There are many different types of meditation. Discovering which style suits you best is useful – you'll be more likely to devote yourself to the practice and so the health benefits will stay with you for longer. Calvin Holbrook looks at 10 common meditation types. Meditation has surged in popularity in the Western world in recent years, and there seem to be an ever-increasing number of different types of meditation available to practise. While this can be confusing, what isn't at question is the world of good meditation provides. Indeed, if you've ever asked 'does meditation really work?', the answer is a resounding 'yes'! In fact, research has shown that the effects of meditation include pain reduction, lowered blood pressure and an increased sense of well-being and self-compassion. However, while there are a host of positive claims for the benefits of meditation, many meditation myths and misconceptions remain and there is still a lot about this ancient practice that is not fully understood by science. Indeed, meditation is sometimes presented by mainstream media as a cure-all. And while recent studies indicate that meditation is effective for anxiety and depression, it doesn't seem to be any more effective than other forms of treatment, such as medication or exercise. With this in mind, how do you decide on what type or style of meditation is best for you? Choose a meditation type that's best for you Commitment to a regular meditation practice is necessary in order to reap the full benefits. Indeed, it's essential to find a personal meditation style or technique that you're comfortable with. That's because finding your preferred form of meditation means you're more likely to continue with it. But, in fact, there's no right or wrong way to meditate. We suggest that you should choose a type that speaks to you spiritually. Try a few of these styles of meditation and see what you enjoy most. Which type of meditation should I choose? Below, we'll describe eight of the most common meditation types or techniques. Before reading on, ask yourself the following questions that will help you discover your best personal style of meditation: Are you trying to empty your mind or focus it? Do you find it easy to focus when sitting still or do you find it easier when active? Do you find sounds distracting or calming? Do you want others to benefit from your meditation practice also? When assessing the effects of a particular style, you may find it helpful to keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings during and after a sitting. So, explore the ten meditation types listed below and find what works for you... 1. Focused meditation Suitable for beginners and those who need assistance in focusing. Science has shown that practising meditation over years can cause the grey matter in the brain to increase in area, so it's well worth finding a form of meditation that will help you persevere. The focused meditation style concentrates on the senses. Visualization is when you focus on a mental image of an object, such as a light or a flower. This is a commonly-used technique. Occasionally you may be asked to focus on other senses, like sound or touch. Other focus points include breathing and the flow of energy through your body. RELATED: Visualization Meditation – How to Practise It 2. Mantra meditation One of the best meditation styles for those who find silence distracting and find relaxation and peace in repetition. Mantra meditation has been practised for thousands of years. You simply chant or recite a 'mantra', such as the mystical Sanskrit word 'Om' (claimed to be the origin of all sound). Whether you whisper it mentally or chant aloud, repetition allows your mind to relax. Alternatively, you could choose an inspirational phrase that's personal to you. Mantra meditation can be practised in a group or individually. Mantra meditation is a style for those who don't enjoy silence 3. Transcendental meditation (TM) A meditation style that may suit a person looking for a more structured form. Or committed beginners who are ready for a regular practice. Founded by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and with more than five million practitioners worldwide, transcendental meditation (TM) is the style which has received the most attention from science. For example, research by the AHA has shown that TM can reduce hypertension. “Science has shown that practising a meditation technique over years can cause the grey matter in the brain to actually increase in area.” Instead of just following the breath, transcendental meditation uses a series of Sanskrit words and mantras to help you focus. Every student is given an individual mantra, based on factors like gender or birth year. The recommendation for transcendental meditation is to practise it in a comfortable seated position, for 20 minutes twice a day. Vedic meditation is another variation. 4. Spiritual meditation If you thrive in silence, spiritual meditation may be your best personal meditation style. Science shows that spiritual meditation can be helpful in lowering high blood pressure and preventing heart disease. Similar to prayer, spiritual meditation allows the practitioner to reach a more reflective and contemplative state through various elements. RELATED: What Is a Sound Bath Meditation and What Are Its Benefits? Whether at home or in a place of worship, you embrace the silence and gradually allow your mind to wander over a personal question or prayer. Some people find that the answer to their deepest questions comes from within. While others feel that they answer comes from outside – from God or the universe. 5. Mindfulness meditation May suit someone who has no regular access to a group or teacher. Buddhist teachings base themselves on mindfulness meditation. It's an umbrella term for meditation techniques that teach us to accept everything that arises without judgement. To address things that occur and release stress as it arises while nurturing a surrender to things that we cannot change. RELATED: Outdoor Meditation: How to Meditate in Nature Studies show that mindfulness meditation can be an effective treatment for episodes of depression. It's possible to practise this style of meditation alone, making it particularly suitable for those who do not have access to a class or teacher. Furthermore, like many styles of meditation, it requires minimal effort. Mindful meditation is a perfect type for when you're alone 6. Gratitude meditation May suit someone who wants to practise meditation at any time throughout the day. Gratitude meditation is one of the easiest styles of meditation you can try and you can also practise it anywhere, even on the go. This meditation type involves meditating on the things you're thankful for and allowing that appreciative sensation to take a stronghold within. The benefits include greater sense of well-being, improved mental health and stronger personal relationships. 7. Vipassana meditation For experienced meditators considering exploring even deeper within themselves. Vipassana means 'to see things as they really are'. Vipassana is one of the most ancient techniques of meditation. In fact, it's believed to be the meditation form taught by the Buddha himself. Vipassana meditation is a method of self-transformation through self-observation and focuses on the deep interconnection between the mind and body. “Commitment to a type of meditation is necessary in order to reap the full benefits. Indeed, it's essential to find a personal meditation style that you're comfortable with.” Ten-day silent retreats where you can develop the Vipassana meditation technique are popular. Communication of any kind during these events is usually strictly prohibited. It’s recommended that if you want to try a ten-day retreat that you already have a basic knowledge of meditation and have experience in sustaining long periods of quiet and calm. 8. Six phase meditation Ideal for those who want to boost compassion, happiness and productivity. Six phase meditation is a newer meditation technique that combines the science behind how our brain works with advice on spiritual growth. This six-step guided meditation tackles common roadblocks in meditation practice and requires up to 20 minutes daily. This style of meditation involves meditating on the following six things: connection, gratitude, forgiveness, visualization, daily intention blessing. The main goals of 6 phase meditation are lowering anxiety and stress, connecting with your intuitive and creative side, becoming more compassionate and fulfilled, and increasing happiness and productivity. 9. Movement meditation May suit you if your mind becomes distracted when you're still. Or if you sit at a desk all day and prefer to find tranquillity through action. Movement meditation is a broad category of active meditation styles. Gentle, repetitive movements such as hatha yoga, a walk through the woods during forest bathing, gardening, or even housework help to clear your mind and keep it in the moment. Research by scientists at Oregon University found a significant decrease in pain experienced by fibromyalgia patients who practised this meditation type. Movement meditation suits active types of people 10. Loving kindness meditation Ideal for those who want to boost compassion, connection and self-acceptance. Loving kindness is a popular meditation technique used to increase capacity for forgiveness, connection and self-acceptance. During loving kindness, you focus loving energy toward yourself and to others – even those you make dislike or total strangers. While meditating, try to imagine yourself experiencing complete wellness and inner peace. Feel perfect love for yourself, content that you're just right. While concentrating on this joyous feeling of love and kindness, repeat these positive phrases to yourself (or create your own): May I be happy May I be safe May I be healthy, peaceful, and strong May I give and receive appreciation today Bask in those feelings of warmth and self-compassion for some moments before shifting your focus to loved ones. Start with someone who you're very close to, and feel your gratitude and love for them. Repeat the reassuring phrases for them: may you be happy and safe. Next, branch out to other friends and family members and repeat the meditation technique. It's important to try it with people you may dislike or do not naturally connect with. Finally, extend feelings of loving kindness to people around the globe and focus on a feeling of connection and compassion. Tonglen meditation is a similar type of meditation and also shares a purpose of focussing on compassion and healing others. Takeaway: types of meditation There are a multitude of meditation techniques and styles to discover. Try practising a few different ones to see which are best suited to your lifestyle. For most people, meditation induces calmness, relaxation and a sense of well-being. Meditation should not be a optimization goal in-and-of itself but rather a means of developing self-compassion and peace. Be wary of pushing on with a meditation practice if it feels counter-productive. ● Main image: Colorbox.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Mindfulness | Compassion | Kundalini meditation Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our magazine and is a lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage. Find out more.

Finding peace and quiet in modern times can be a challenge, but the health benefits of doing so – including stress relief and improved clarity – are proven. Meena Azzollini discovers 10 ways in which the power of silence can help to heal your mind and body. We live in an increasingly noisy world. The constant drone of traffic, household appliances, music, television and sounds in public places is disturbing sleep and increasing stress levels for many people. Escaping noise is a modern-day challenge, but doing so could be essential to our well-being: the power of silence is scientifically proven when it comes to the benefits it can offer our minds and bodies. In 2011 the World Health Organization (WHO) released a report that studied the impact of environmental noise from planes, trains and vehicles, and other community and leisure sources. The ten-year study looked at links to health outcomes such as cardiovascular disease, sleep disturbance, cognitive impairment in children, annoyance and tinnitus. It found that in Western Europe alone the total burden of health effects from environmental noise was greater than one million years of healthy life lost collectively each year. This figure does not even include the impact of industrial noise pollution in workplaces. Indeed, modern life is full of noise. There are sounds from the environment and a general lack of quiet that comes with a hectic life. Distractions and interruptions during the day have now become the norm, adding to the noise in our lives. Cultivating peace with calming walks in nature Even sounds we are not aware of – particularly those sounds which we hear when we are asleep – can have a tremendous impact on our well-being. The human ear never goes to sleep and is constantly listening to sound. It is a sensitive organ and while we are deep in slumber, the ear is still picking up and transmitting sound to the brain. The brain receives electrical signals of sound and promptly activates a stress response in the amydgala – neurons responsible for processing fear and emotions – with the immediate release of cortisol, along with elevated blood pressure and heart rate. • JOIN US! Sign-up to get support from our caring community • In fact, studies show that exposure to nocturnal sounds can increase the risk of cardiovascular disease. Long-term exposure to noise can lead to a variety of health issues including high blood pressure, heart disease, sleep problems, tinnitus, and cognitive impairment in children. Furthermore, noise also causes stress, anxiety, depression and fatigue in both humans and animals. Noise expert Bernie Krause says that the incessant sounds of modern day living are making people unhappy and driving them to take sleeping pills and antidepressants. The benefits of silence Our lives are busy, and a few minutes of silence is a rare treat for most people. Many of us don’t get to embrace silence as much as our world has become increasingly digitized and we are more dependent on our devices: many of us are constantly ‘on’. Even conversations with family members, work colleagues, kids and friends do not give us the respite we need from noise. In fact, it just adds to the mental clutter going on in our minds and creates more frustration, anger and an imbalance in our physical and mental health. “Escaping noise is a modern-day challenge but essential to our well-being: the power of silence is scientifically-proven when it comes to the benefits it can offer our minds and bodies.” The obvious answer is to take a break from external noise and internal chatter and aim for some silence and solitude. But, for some people, silence can be uncomfortable and scary as they are left alone with their worrisome thoughts, which can be stressful. For others, the fear of silence can be profound, because they are now used to a noisy world. The power of silence: 10 benefits of cultivating peace Silence is important for our health and well-being, just as exercise and nourishment are. So, what are the benefits of silence and how can the power of silence help us? 1. Stimulates brain growth Two hours of solitude and silence every day could potentially rejuvenate your brain. In a 2013 study scientists exposed mice to three types of sound, including baby mouse calls. They included silence as a control and expected baby mouse calls to stimulate development of brain cells. To their surprise, scientists found that two hours of silence per day prompted greater healthy brain cell growth in the hippocampus – an area of the brain responsible for memory formation, learning, motivation and regulation of emotional responses. 2. Improves sleep and fights insomnia The importance of quiet sleep cannot be stressed enough as it helps restore the body and the mind, and is important for your physical, emotional and cognitive health. Periods of silence during the day can also improve sleep quality and lessen insomnia, highlighted in a 2015 study where older adults practised mindfulness meditation for six weeks. 3. Improves memory Ten to 15 minutes of sitting in silence can boost your memory. The remarkable memory-boosting benefits of quiet contemplation also have positive implications for those who have a neurological injury, such as a stroke, and may release a latent capacity to learn and recall for people with amnesia and some sorts of dementia. A 2014 study on patients with amnesia showed that a ten-minute rest in a quiet darkened room boosted recall from 14 to 49 per cent. The study also found similar results for healthy participants boosting memory recall from ten to 30 per cent. Embrace the power of silence through meditation shutterstock/fizkes 4. Relieves stress Stress can disrupt the natural processes of your body, but taking a break and embracing the power of silence can lower blood cortisol level and adrenaline and relieve stress. RELATED: What Is a Sound Bath Meditation and What Are Its Benefits? In fact, silence is more relaxing than listening to meditative music and just two minutes of silence improves blood circulation and reduces blood pressure to ease tension from the body and brain. Furthermore, when you’re not stressed, your natural biological mechanisms can heal and repair your body. 5. Awakens awareness Silence is not only the absence of sound and speech, it is also refers to the quietening of your ‘monkey mind’ – the relentless stream of evaluative thoughts and emotions that plague our minds. When you learn to quieten your mind with mindfulness and meditation, you will notice a distinct shift in your awareness and sensitivity to the environment around you. 6. Improves heart health Interestingly, moments of silence can also benefit your heart. The American Heart Association says that taking some time out to practise meditation and mindfulness can do wonders for heart health as it lowers blood pressure, reduces stress, and thus lowers the overall risk for heart disease. 7. Improves clarity Taking a moment to breathe, calm your inner mind and get away from noise has the potential to regulate your breath, and do away with stress which you may not even be aware of. When you are not distracted by noise, your brain returns to its default mode and integrates internal and external information “into a conscious workspace,” promoting mental clarity. 8. Boost cognitive resources According to Attention Restoration Theory, spending more time in an environment that is restorative, rather than one which has high sensory input, restores the brain’s cognitive resources. “Embracing the power of silence does not have to be about the absence of sound, but also about getting away from distracting noises that stimulate your brain and trigger a stress response.” That is why when you take a walk in nature away from urban areas, your stress levels reduce and you feel happier afterwards. A low sensory environment provides the solitude and silence you need, which helps clear your mind, reduce mental fatigue and internal noise, and helps you to rejuvenate and relax. 9. Better decision-making When you're in a noisy environment, it becomes difficult to make any decisions, as your brain is constantly being bombarded with stimuli. But just five minutes of silence not only reduces the stress response of the amygdala but it also releases serotonin, endorphins and oxytocin — known as happy hormones. This restores your well-being and your mind becomes calmer. With that, you can make better decisions as you process information with clarity and awareness. 10. Enhances creativity Solitude and periods of silence allows your mind to wander, which is essential for 'incubation' – one of the four stages of creativity where you let go of what you're working on or thinking of. • JOIN US! Sign up today and make new friends at happiness.com • Studies show that during incubation, even though you're not thinking of any particular thing, there are unconscious processes taking place in the brain, searching for a solution. And it is during this stage that you come up with creative solutions. Daydreaming, taking a walk in nature and good sleep are all wonderful sources for incubation, thus boosting your creative potential. Ways you can enjoy the power of silence Clearly, science shows that silence gives our mind and body a break from the noise of the modern world and brings with it many powerful benefits. So, how can you embrace silence in your life? What can you do to find solitude and instill it into your daily practice? Walk in nature Take a walk in nature for some peace and solitude. Find a park, a walking trail, or go to the woods or the beach to enjoy some time alone, and take in the beautiful sounds of nature, which can help you relax. Meditation There is plenty of evidence of the benefits of meditation, inner peace included. Meditation does not have to be complicated: all you need is five to ten minutes to sit in silence and focus on your breath: gently let go of any thoughts from your awareness. Sacred pauses Sacred pauses are mini-meditations you take during the day when you are involved in a goal-oriented task. Take a break from what you are doing and sit comfortably with your eyes closed. Take a few deep breaths and with each breath let go of any thought or worries and let your body relax. You can do this many times a day to give your mind and body a break from noise and stressful thoughts. Stay in bed an extra five minutes in the morning Wake up early to enjoy the quiet and solitude before the day begins. Bask in the silence, with no particular thoughts as you awaken slowly to the day. These precious moments can set the mood for the rest of the day and give you the boost you need to carry on with a peaceful vibe. Digital Detox Set a day, perhaps on the weekend, to stay away from your digital devices. Although it may sound like an impossible task, keeping away from digital stimulation will help you center yourself and give you the time to attain inner quiet. Practise yoga Yoga gives you the opportunity to shift your focus from your thoughts to the poses you are practising. And as you move from one pose to the other, your mind settles down with every breath that you take. Yoga is known to make you feel calmer as it releases happy hormones, relieving stress and anxiety. The takeaway: the power of silence The World Health Organization has called noise pollution ‘a modern plague.’ And rightly so. Many studies and experts have warned us about the harm that excessive noise causes not only to our health and mental well-being but also to the health of this planet. Not to mention the disruption caused by the noise that goes on in our minds as we stumble through a busy life. Cultivating silence then becomes imperative: there is a power in silence that results in multiple body and mind benefits. Embracing the power of silence does not have to be about the absence of sound, but also about getting away from distracting noises that stimulate your brain and trigger a stress response. Depending on where you you live and your lifestyle, you may find it hard to escape from noise at all. But you can always cultivate a habit to find a few moments of powerful silence and calm in your day. And, as you do so, you should notice a world of difference to your health and well-being. • Main image: shutterstock/Vitalii Bashkatov happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Meditation | Nature | Self care | Retreats Written by Meena Azzollini Meena Azzollini is a health and wellness content writer from Australia. She takes a heart-centred approach to help businesses make meaningful connections with their audience through effective content marketing solutions. You can connect with her at www.meenawrites.com.

There were plenty of feel-good health and environmental stories in the press during December. Ed Gould rounds up his Top Ten from the past month to uplift and inspire. The month of December sees the shortest day in the northern hemisphere and, as the daylight hours slowly start to get longer, is seen as a time of renewal. This is why many people view it as a positive month, even in the depths of midwinter. Certainly, there were plenty of good news stories in December to celebrate. Here are our Top 10. 1. Stuttering linked to genetics Some scientists have long suspected that stuttering may be connected to genetics. This is because the speech impediment tends to run in families. In December a research team from the Vanderbilt University Medical Center in the US published their findings that proved such a genetic link. It’s hoped the discovery will help stutterers to understand their condition better and help develop new ways of handling it. 2. New benefits of CBD found Although extolling the medicinal virtues of cannabidiol, or CBD, is illegal in certain territories when being marketed, many people buy it for what they perceive to be beneficial health outcomes. Now a recently published paper in the Journal of Cannabis Research has suggested that there may be certain positive effects from the substance when given to people with autism. The research was undertaken by a team in Turkey and is expected to now be peer-reviewed by others working in this field. Furthermore, another recent global study involving 3,000 participants also suggested CBD could help with pain relief and anxiety. CBD oil may benefit those with autism or anxiety shutterstock/Creativan 3. Lithium-ion battery recycling plant undergoes expansion An innovator in the field of recycling lithium-ion batteries, Li-cycle has announced a large expansion of its New York plant. Lithium-ion batteries reduce the need for single-use ones since they can be recharged but they can also be hard to reprocess after the end of their working lives. Li-cycle has pioneered new technology to make it possible to reuse lithium-ion batteries in portable devices and electrical vehicles. According to Reuters, it now plans to open a new reprocessing facility in Canada, along with another in Arizona. 4. Spain pioneers cancer treatment A report in El Pais stated that people with multiple myeloma will be offered new hope thanks to a new treatment, known as ARI-0002h. The therapy is suitable for people with cancers in their bone marrow. According to the report, the treatment was completely successful in 18 cases and led to full remission. What's more, it’s cheaper than current therapies. The method takes T-cells from patients' immune systems and modifies them to make them more effective in dealing with the cancer. It was developed at Barcelona’s Hospital Clínic. 5. Probiotics reduce morning sickness According to a report in News Medical, pregnant women who suffer from nausea and vomiting – often referred to as morning sickness – can benefit from probiotics. A US study into probiotics and mothers-to-be showed that the healthy bacteria found in foods like yoghurt, kimchi and sauerkraut help pregnant women to protect their gut health while their body changes as a result of being pregnant. Participants in the study were given a probiotic capsule twice-daily, rather than adjusting their diet. RELATED: The 15 best prebiotics to include in your diet Probiotics can boost gut health during pregnancy shutterstock/Tatjana Baibakova 6. Coral success on the Great Barrier Reef The world's largest habitat for coral lifeforms has been under threat for years and oceanographers have tried to repopulate it with IVF-spawned corals. And, according to a report in the Times, the project has been a remarkable success. The coral that were effectively helped by human intervention have started to form mini-colonies of their own leading to hopes that dead sections of the reef will recover fully within a few generations. Scientists are continuing to collect coral spawn to help the project in the years to come. 7. Mindfulness helps people to focus, according to research According to Lynley Turkelson of the University of Cincinnati, mindfulness is a powerful tool that can allow people to improve their focus. Her work, published in the Journal of Cognitive Enhancement, centered on the relationship between mindfulness and the wandering mind. The study revealed that minds that failed to focus and were engaged in daydreaming could benefit from a regime of mindfulness meditation. It allowed people to refocus their minds on what was immediately in front of them without worrying about other things so much. RELATED: Mindfulness vs meditation – understanding the difference 8. New green technology developed for cold storage Environmentally friendly options for transporting goods at low temperatures are thin on the ground. Freezing items needs lots of energy or cooling products are made from unsustainable plastics. A report in Food Safety News highlighted a new approach using a sustainable jelly that does not melt. What's more, the jelly cubes are ideal for keeping medicines and foodstuffs cool because they are also antimicrobial. In fact, they can even be composted at the end of their working lives. Experts predict it may revolutionise the way chilled goods are delivered in the future. 9. Billions of trees planted in China in 40 years China may be a big consumer of energy but it has also adopted a national strategy to reforest large parts of the country. According to the country's National Forestry and Grassland Administration, tens of billions of trees have been planted in China since a campaign started in the 1980s. In fact, Chinese officials have said they intend to reforest an area the equivalent size of Belgium every year for the next five years to help capture emitted carbon dioxide. China reckons that it has almost doubled its woodland areas over the course of the last four decades. Reforestation in the Chinese mountains shutterstock/XiXinXing 10. Online MBSR could help those with diabetes Research at Penn State University in the US is focusing on the use of online mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) techniques to help people cope better with diabetes. That’s because for some managing diabetes can be stressful, what with all the constant blood sugar monitoring and dietary considerations. The research team is undertaking a six-month study to help them understand how and why MBSR will be of use to people coping with diabetes. A control group will be compared to those undergoing the MBSR training to explore how outcomes differ among the study's participants. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Nature | Biology | Biotechnology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

If you have trouble drifting off at night, these 14 sleep hacks from Dee Marques will help you on the way to the land of nod more easily. Tossing and turning will soon be a thing of the past... Sleep problems can be incredibly disruptive to daytime activities and have a negative impact on our health and happiness. But, fortunately, if you can't rest well on a regular basis, there are many sleep hacks you can put into practice to improve the quality of your rest time. Some sleep problems are typically associated with the aging process. Older adults often report that both the quality and quantity of their sleep is affected. They become more sensitive to their environment, are more likely to take medication that interferes with sleep, and more likely to experience other age-related conditions, such as producing less melatonin, the hormone responsible for regulating sleep. RELATED: How to Do Yoga Nidra For Sleep: 4 Steps and Script Other common problems include insomnia, multiple waking during the night, restless leg syndrome, and a reduction in the total number of sleep hours, as well as sleep apnea, whereby breathing gets blocked during sleep. 14 sleep hacks for a good night's rest Developing better sleep has a positive effect on our health, and scientific studies prove that some age-related conditions improve when we get enough restful sleep. Indeed, this is the case of inflammation, heart disease, and depression. RELATED: How to Stop Thinking About Something: 9 Strategies There’s also a direct link between sleep and cognitive function, as older adults with sleep problems report poor memory, attention span issues, and higher stress levels. By contrast, good sleep brings benefits ranging from increased emotional well-being to better concentration, higher tolerance for pain, and a stronger immune system. So, if you can't sleep well, follow these 14 science-backed sleep hacks and learn how to fall asleep quicker today. 1. Bedtime ritual We're creatures of habit, and as we age, our threshold for changes in our daily routine becomes lower. Consistency in our bedtime routine helps set our brains in the right mood and sends the signal that it’s time to switch off for the day. Plus, an unwinding routine can help counter any triggers that cause us to stay awake, so do whatever helps your body and mind relax, whether it's listening to music, aromatherapy, writing in your journal, meditation or self-massage. Writing a journal is a ritual sleep hack shutterstock/WAYHOME studio 2. No electronics in the bedroom It's hard now so many of us are currently working from home, but our next sleep hack is to try not to use the bedroom as a second living room or office. Instead, keep it for the purpose for which it is intended: sleep! Indeed, studies have shown that exposure to blue light (light given off by electronic devices) interferes with our ability to get a good night's rest, so if you’ve grown used to reading on your e-reader, phone or tablet before bed, consider switching back to printed books. If you must use your electronic devices, change the brightness settings or use a blue-light blocking app. 3. Avoid other bright lights In addition to blue light, bright light from regular light bulbs can also disrupt sleep patterns. Studies have found that bright home lighting interferes with melatonin and disrupts the circadian rhythm (our internal body clocks), making our bodies believe that the day is still young and delaying sleep onset. “If you can't rest well on a regular basis, there are many sleep hacks you can put into practice to improve the quality of your rest time.” So, for better rest, or next sleep solution is to use dimmers or avoid bright light for at least one hour before bedtime, although some researchers recommend a longer window of up to three hours. 4. Beware of caffeine Yep, this is one sleep hack we know you're already aware of. But caffeine is not only present in coffee or tea (including decaf varieties), but also in chocolate, energy bars, some soft and diet drinks and ice cream that contains chocolate or coffee. Stimulants cause an increase in blood pressure and stress hormones, which is not what you want right before going to bed. It’s important to find out what your “cut-off” time for caffeine is. Be aware that it may change as you get older, as some studies report that caffeine sensitivity changes as we age. You should also take into account that caffeine interacts with certain medications that are usually prescribed to older adults. So, if you've recently started taking drugs to treat asthma or respiratory disease, antibiotics, estrogen, thyroid medication, or any drugs that slow down blood clotting, talk to your doctor about possible interactions. Watch yourself: find out what your cut off time for caffeine is shutterstock/Dragon Grkic 5. Eat a light dinner When planning your dinner, it’s best to avoid eating spicy, salty or oily foods. Also, try to reduce or avoid foods that contain starches and simple carbs, such as pasta or bread. These are hard to digest, can induce heartburn, and cause insulin levels to spike, meaning you may experience a sugar crash in the middle of the night. 6. Remove diuretics Keeping on the diet sleep hacks, be careful of consuming food and drink that might have you waking to head to the bathroom in the night. Tea and fruit juices are common diuretics (foods that makes us urinate), but you should also be aware of less obvious culprits such as celery, cucumber, watermelon, ginger, asparagus, lemon, beetroot, cabbage and pineapple. Plan your dinner so that there’s only a small amount of any foods that contain a high amount of water, which may wake you up in the night. 7. Increase activity levels Physical activity such as mindful running and swimming can help you fall asleep, as long as you find the right time to exercise. Indeed, working out right before bed may not be not be the ideal sleep hack since exercise increases the heart rate and releases stress hormones like adrenaline. Generally speaking, avoid exercising within three hours of bedtime. An afternoon jog can prepare you for rest shutterstock/Rido 8. The right temperature If you can't sleep well, it could be that your bedroom is too warm. Your sleeping space needs to be set up in a way that helps you unwind and fall asleep easily. One sleep hack is to pay special attention to temperature, because as we age, circulation to hands and feet lessens, and it’s easier to feel cold. “If you can't sleep well, it could be that your bedroom is too warm. Your sleeping space needs to be set up in a way that helps you unwind and fall asleep easily.” A study found that having warm feet helped people fall asleep faster, so use an electric blanket, socks, or even a hot water bottle to warm up. And although everyone is different, research points at the ideal bedroom temperature is somewhere around 20°C. 9. Don’t postpone bedtime Most of us rely on an alarm clock to wake up, but setting an alarm to remind you it’s time to go to bed may be useful if you find yourself postponing your bedtime again and again. This sleeping hack will help you establish a routine and train your body and mind to go to bed at the same time every night. 10. Choose quality mattress and pillows The aging process changes our bodies, and having good support for the spine and neck becomes particularly important. If you have trouble falling asleep or wake up feeling tired and achey, it may be time to replace your mattress and pillows. Scientists found that a medium-firm mattress can help with back pain, which is common in older adults. And less pain equals better sleep. Choosing quality pillows is another sleep solution 11. Daytime naps Naps can help us feel more alert and rested, but try not to do so for more than 30 minutes, and do it at the same time every day (not in the evenings, however). In fact, naps should not replace lost sleep at night, otherwise you will be aggravating sleep problems and making it harder to get into a regular night-time sleep routine. MORE LIKE THIS: Cat Naps – 5 Health Benefits of Taking a Siesta Deep Sleep Meditation – the Benefits You Can Take to Bed Feel Stress-Free Fast – 11 Science-Backed Techniques 12. Learn how to disconnect It’s easy to use the time we have before we fall asleep to go over our day in our heads, but this can easily turn into a formula for worry. Instead, stop ruminating and replace this habit with something that sets your mind on a positive note, such as writing a gratitude journal or meditating. “Keeping on the diet sleep hacks, be careful of consuming food and drink that might have you waking to head to the bathroom in the night. Tea and fruit juices are common diuretics.” Also, choose your bedtime reading materials carefully, since anything intellectually demanding or even a highly-engaging thriller may cause your brain to go into alert mode. RELATED: How to Meditate in Bed for Beginners 13. Don’t toss and turn Being aware of the fact that 'sleep is not happening' may cause you to feel stressed and anxious, creating a catch-22 situation that will not help you get further shut-eye. If you can’t sleep, get out of bed and read, write, or do any other soothing activity that’s part of your night-time ritual until you feel sleepy again. 14. Vitamins and good sleep Our final sleep hack concerns vitamins. Vitamin deficiency is one of the causes of insomnia, since some B-group vitamins play a key role in the production of melatonin. But at the same time, taking certain vitamins right before going to bed can be counter-productive. A study from the USA revealed that vitamin users were more likely to wake up during the night, and while the exact link between vitamins and sleep quality isn't confirmed, you may want to choose another time to take vitamins and supplements to be on the safe side. Conclusions: sleep hacks and solutions Although the aging process can negatively affect our ability to get a restful night of sleep, you should remember that you’re not powerless. If you're tired (literally!) of asking yourself 'why can't I sleep?', following our 14 sleep hacks should increase your chances of enjoying better sleep and feeling more alert. This will help you to achieve greater happiness and a healthier lifestyle, irrespective of your age. ● Main image: shutterstock/Kamil Macniak happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online Academy classes Gratitude | Nature | Stress Management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Laughing during or after sex is more common than you'd think. And while you may get a fit of the giggles when something goes wrong, laughter during or after sex also signifies an incredibly satisfying sexual experience. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains... Sex is always a unique experience. What it will be like depends on an array of factors. Whom with and when are you sharing this encounter? What kind of mood set the stage for the act — gentle, romantic, passionate, or is it sex after a fight? Finally, there are different types of lovers. Some people are shy and quiet, and some loud and full of confidence. There are those who like to submit. Others allow themselves to be passionately dominant or benevolently aggressive. Some play roles and test ways to get satisfaction. And some people laugh during or after sex. In this article I'll look into the relationship between sex and laughter. I'll review current research and explain why you or your partner may have an uncontrollable need for laughing during sex — or afterwards — and why it is perfectly normal. Why do some people laugh during and after sex? Laughter accompanies us at every step of a romance. When we first meet a person we like, we tend to laugh loudly and signal interest. Research has revealed that, by doing so, we send a “this is play” message in an uncertain situation. Laughter brings us closer to our partners throughout the relationship. Everyone knows what joy in a relationship feels like. When you joke around, smile a lot, and laugh, it means you are happy together. In fact, a study proved that the amount of time you spend laughing with your partner is directly associated with the quality of the relationship. Therefore, laughter during sex can be seen as a continuation of the good feeling you have with your partner. Also, it may mean that you are in a good relationship with yourself. But how so, exactly? Laughter during sex brings partners closer Laughing the awkward moments off A recent study revealed that people who are fine with laughing at themselves might enjoy better relationships. The ability to laugh at yourself and share this laughter with others can even boost your sexual satisfaction. What is the mechanism behind this association? People who love to make fun of themselves tend to be more confident and feel better in their skin. So, laughter during sex means, basically, that you are more relaxed in relationships and sure of yourself. MORE LIKE THIS: What Playfulness Can Do For Your Relationship What is Pebbling? What Penguins Can Teach Us About Stronger Relationships Want a Happy Sex Life? Here Are the 4 Key Secrets Even more precisely, we all know that embarrassing incidents happen during sex. Sometimes, we have a snowball’s chance in Hell of looking as elegant, confident and alluring as we intended. Whether you get stuck trying to take off tight clothes, fall off the bed, pass wind, or try a pose you have zero experience with, 'mistakes' will happen. The entire experience will not become a mortifying event when you can laugh off those embarrassing moments. The chemical foundations of laughter with sex The science behind laughing during or laughter after sex can be summarised as follows — when you are happy and pleased, you act accordingly. In layman’s terms — when sex is great, the elation can naturally be followed by laughter. Sex impacts (among other hormones and neurotransmitters) the secretion of oxytocin. Oxytocin is associated with many functions in both sexes. It helps during labour and has a role in breastfeeding. Another function of oxytocin is related to the tend-and-befriend response, which is, in short, the opposite of flight-or-fight. It is behaviour more typical of women. However, oxytocin helps us connect with others in general, regardless of sex. Finally, oxytocin has been shown to influence sexual pleasure. “When your body is filled with oxytocin during intercourse, it is natural that you might laugh. The same chemical explanation can be applied to laughing after sex. It is simply the continuation of pleasure and cheerfulness.” Because of the connection between oxytocin, orgasm, love, bonding, sexual pleasure, and lower levels of stress and pain, scientists are now calling it the hormone of love. Therefore, when your body is filled with oxytocin during intercourse, it is natural that you might feel the need to laugh. The same chemical explanation can be applied to laughing after sex. It is simply the continuation of pleasure and cheerfulness. Why do some people not laugh during sex? Sometimes, we think of sex as anything but funny. We want to impress, look seductive, and feel secure and adored. In short, sex is can often be quite stressful, even though it is meant to be anything but that. Sex is, potentially, an arena for all our insecurities to come out. One study looked into how attachment styles relate to sexual satisfaction. The results determined that people who had insecure attachments reported sexual dissatisfaction. What is more, when men had an anxious attachment, their female partners were dissatisfied. When women were avoidant, their male partners were not pleased. Overall, when people do not feel relaxed and confident enough, they might have a hard time enjoying intercourse. Laughter during sex is unlikely to happen. 5 ways laughter and sex are connected On the other hand, when you incorporate laughter into your sexual life, you are blending two phenomena that naturally go hand in hand. Why? Because they are very similar in terms of their effect on the body. Both laughter and sex can alleviate anxiety. As discussed earlier, oxytocin and endorphins, the happiness hormones, are released during sex and laughter. These hormones can help you feel relaxed and overcome anxieties more easily. Furthermore, laughter and sex both stimulate your immune system. WebMD reports that several studies found having sex once or twice a week is related to higher levels of antibodies in your bloodstream. Similarly, laughter stimulates your immune system and has positive effects on natural killer cell cytotoxicity. It could be argued, then, that laughter after sex doubles the benefits. Indeed, laughter and sex can make us fit and healthy. Both can be considered exercise, in a way. Apart from other beneficial effects of both activities on our physical and mental health, sex and joking around burns calories. A study determined that 10–15 minutes of laughter per day could increase your calories expenditure by 2–10 kcal. Laughter and sex also leads to hormonal balance. Whether you are laughing or having sex (or laughing after sex), your cortisol and adrenalin levels drop. Researchers are even suggesting the use of laughter therapy instead of pharmacological means of addressing stress-induced hormonal disbalance. The overall workings of both playfulness and sexual pleasure lead to better hormonal balance. Laughter and sex change our moods and thoughts for the better. Overall, we can conclude that both laughter and sex can help us feel better, more optimistic, and more peaceful. They can help ease tension and reset our minds when we get too wrapped up in our own thoughts and fears. And laughter after sex is the winning combination for a great mood. How laughter can strengthen relationships Playfulness is a desirable trait, regardless of gender. Researchers who study the role of playfulness in romance found that when women are full of life in that way, men see youth — regardless of age. On the other hand, a playful man will be perceived as non-aggressive by women. These are traits men and women seek in the opposite sex when they are choosing their long-term partners. However, the role of laughter and playfulness (including laughing during sex and laughter after sex) does not end at the point of a beginning of a relationship. There is an abundance of research revealing that laughter can strengthen relationships at different stages. Stay playful and enjoy everything about sex shutterstock.com/fizkes What is it about playfulness that helps us feel good in relationships? A 2019 study explored how different forms of playfulness might relate to relationship satisfaction. Over 200 couples were surveyed. The findings confirmed that two kinds of playfulness directly led to higher levels of satisfaction with one’s relationship. The first is other-directed playfulness. This is when you enjoy playful interactions with others use playfulness to ease tension in social situations or to cheer others up. The other is intellectual playfulness. Such playfulness comes to play when you prefer complexity over simplicity, enjoy play of words, or playing things through in your mind. “When your body is filled with oxytocin during intercourse, it is natural that you might laugh. The same chemical explanation can be applied to laughing after sex. It is simply the continuation of pleasure and cheerfulness.” Playfulness also plays a role in sexual satisfaction. Metz and McCarthy, researchers in the field of sex and related psychological factors, determined that being playful can prevent monotony in your sex life. They say that people chase great sex in the wrong directions, listen to the wrong sources, and get caught up in sexual “hype”. The focus on perfectionism fuels performance anxiety and undermine healthy, satisfying sex. Therefore, add playfulness to your sex life. Was there anything comical about the intercourse? Do joke about it (in a sensitive manner, of course). Laughing after sex will ease the tension and bring you closer. How can we get more laughter into our relationships? One theoretical model, empirically confirmed and also very intuitive, could provide advice. According to its principles, when we are playful in a relationship, this causes positive emotions. Positive emotions, expectedly, make us feel more content with our relationship. However, who are people who are playful? The confident ones. Yes, self-esteem and a love for humour make you feel confident enough to act silly at times and be full of beans. Takeaway: laugh and love Sex is meant to be fun. However, modern culture puts too much pressure on the act. We see unrealistic bodies, positions and ambience everywhere. From TV shows to pornographic material, we are bombarded by how “the perfect” sexual intercourse ought to look. As a result, we get too stressed and focus on the wrong things. Remember, sex is about two people making a connection. To have a genuine relationship with someone, you need to be authentic. This means laughing during sex if you feel like it. As long as you are not mocking your partner, laughter during sex can only add to the beauty of the act. So, do not shy away from laughing after sex and creating a lasting feeling of closeness with your partner. • Main image: shutterstock.com/Rawpixel.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Sexuality | Empathy | Trust Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Der Ruhestand sollte eine Zeit sein, in der sich Senioren entspannen und amüsieren können. Aber allzu oft kommt es zu Stress und Isolation. Marilyn Coates-Lower, selbst eine Seniorin, sagt, dass es für einen gesunden Ruhestand entscheidend ist, Körper und Geist aktiv zu halten. Mit zunehmendem Alter stellen einige von uns möglicherweise fest, dass das Leben eher stressiger als einfacher werden kann. Daher ist es von entscheidender Bedeutung, zu wissen, wie Stress abgebaut werden kann. Wenn der Ruhestand näher rückt, freuen wir uns auf die Veränderungen, die sich daraus ergeben. Oft planen wir, die vielen Dinge zu tun, für die wir in unserem geschäftigen Arbeitsleben keine Zeit hatten. Es ist jedoch nicht immer einfach, für einen glücklichen und gesunden Ruhestand zu sorgen. Dazu schreibt Patrick J. Skerrett, ehemaliger Chefredakteur von Harvard Health: „Wenn wir nicht aufpassen, kann der Ruhestand viele Gesundheitsprobleme anstatt Zufriedenheit hervorrufen, und wir sollten ihn eher als ‚Prozess denn als Ereignis betrachten.‘“ Einen gesunden Ruhestand planen Einige von uns werden sorgfältig für den Zeitpunkt des Renteneintritts geplant haben und finanziell abgesichert bleiben. Andere wiederum werden plötzlich mit einem enormen Einkommensrückgang konfrontiert sein. Dies kann uns natürlich bei dem was wir erreichen wollen einschränken. Laut einer Untersuchung von Dr. George E. Vaillant, Professor für Psychiatrie an der Harvard Medical School, gibt es jedoch verschiedene Möglichkeiten, wie Rentner - auch über 80 - glücklich und gesund bleiben können. Damit sie einen lohnenden Lebensstil erreichen, für den es kein hohes Einkommensniveau bedarf. Diese Möglichkeiten umfassen: Neue Freunde finden Wenn du dich aus dem Berufsleben zurückziehst, lässt du möglicherweise auch einige deiner Freunde zurück. Aber ein neues soziales Netzwerk aufzubauen, mit gleichgesinnten, gleichaltrigen Menschen, wird sich deiner körperlichen und geistigen Gesundheit gut tun. Vereinen beitreten Es gibt so viele Vereine, aus denen du wählen kannst. Einschließlich Sportarten wie Golf, Schwimmen und Tennis, Gesellschaftstanz, Wandern und Bridge. Sie bringen dich nicht nur aus dem Haus, sondern bieten auch die Möglichkeit, neue Freunde zu finden. Halte deinen Geist und Körper aktiv Nimm Aktivitäten wie Malen und Gärtnern auf. Vielleicht kannst du auch ein ganz neues Hobby erlernen, etwas, dass du schon immer machen wolltest. Lerne eine neue Sprache oder nimm an einem Studienkurs teil und hol dir vielleicht ein Haustier. Dieses ist nicht nur in großartiger Begleiter, sondern bringt dich außerdem dazu, spazieren zu gehen und neue Leute zu treffen. All diese Vorschläge machen nicht nur Spaß, sondern sorgen auch für einen hervorragenden Stressabbau, der Körper und Geist zusammenhält und für einen glücklicheren und gesünderen Ruhestand sorgt. Wir sollten das beste aus jedem Moment machen, denn wie dieses Zitat von Ausonius besagt: „Lass uns niemals wissen, welches Alter wir haben. Lass uns das Glück wissen, welches die Zeit bringt, und nicht die Jahre zählen.“ Tatsächlich ist jeder Tag kostbar, und ein glücklicher und gesunder Ruhestand kann aus so einfachen Dingen wie dem Journaling oder dem Gespräch mit einem Freund bestehen. Gemeinsam in einer Gruppe zu sporteln, hält Körper und Geist fit Stress und wie er die Gesundheit älterer Menschen beeinflusst Ein praktisches Merkblatt des APA Office on Ageing und des Committee on Ageing (Büro und Ausschuss über das Altern der Amerikanischen Gesellschaft für Psychologie) weist darauf hin, dass Stress uns während unserer Pensionierungsjahre sehr stark beeinträchtigen kann, wenn wir nicht aufpassen. Die APA empfiehlt daher eine sehr einfache Möglichkeit um gesund zu bleiben: Nahrhafte Lebensmittel zu sich zu nehmen um ein angemessenes Gewicht zu halten und regelmäßig Sport zu treiben. Des weiteren erklärt die APA, wie Stress zustande kommt. Stress entsteht, wenn unser Körper auf Gefahren reagiert und Hormone in den Blutkreislauf abgibt, was das Herz beschleunigt und die Pulsfrequenz erhöht: die sogenannte „Stressreaktion“. Untersuchungen haben gezeigt, dass zu viel Stress das Immunsystem beeinträchtigt und unsere Fähigkeit verringert, Krankheiten und psychische Gesundheitsprobleme zu bekämpfen. In ihrem Merkblatt werden verschiedene Tipps zum Stressabbau für Rentner angeboten, darunter: Positiv bleiben Vermeide negative Gespräche wie "Ich bin zu alt" oder "Ich kann das nicht mehr tun". Diese Art von Gesprächen hilft nicht weiter. Auch wenn du dich vielleicht so fühlst, das Nichtstun die Lösung ist, solltest du besser Überlegen, was du stattdessen tun könntest. Fokussiert bleiben Du musst dich niemals hilflos fühlen, denn egal wie schwierig etwas auch scheinen mag, es gibt immer eine Lösung. Du kannst jedes Problem wie einen Test oder eine Herausforderung betrachten, die deinen Verstand aktiv halten, während du nach Lösungen suchst. Entspannungstechniken, Meditation und insbesondere MBSR (Meditation Based Stress Reduction) wurden entwickelt, um mit Stress umzugehen, basierend auf jahrhundertealten Techniken. Laut Melissa Conrad Stöppler, Doktor der Medizin, können nur zehn Minuten pro Tag dazu beitragen, Stress zu kontrollieren, Ängste abzubauen und die kardiovaskuläre Gesundheit zu verbessern. In der Folge führt dies dazu, dass du in deinen Rentenjahren gesünder bist. Dr. Stöppler führt weiter aus, dass der Harvard-Arzt Herbert Benson bereits in den 1970er Jahren erstmals meditative Techniken in Amerika entwickelte. Seitdem haben sich diese weltweit durchgesetzt. Sowohl von Ärzten als auch von Therapeuten werden sie eingesetzt, um als wertvolle Ergänzungstherapie zur Linderung von Symptomen bei vielen verschiedenen Krankheiten zu dienen. "Es gibt verschiedene Wege auf denen Rentner glücklich und gesund bleiben können, um einen lohnenden Lebensstil zu erreichen, für den es kein hohes Einkommensniveau bedarf." Dr. Stöppler erklärt: „Unabhängig davon, wie der Entspannungszustand erreicht wird, können die physischen und emotionalen Folgen von Stress durch regelmäßiges Üben gemindert werden.“ Stressabbau kann in dieser Form auch zu Glück und innerem Frieden führen. Um einen ersten Blick auf die Meditationspraktiken zum Stressabbau zu werfen, kannst du 'Mindfulness daily' ausprobieren, einen leicht verständlichen Kurs, der von Tara Brach und Jack Kornfield entwickelt wurde. Flower Power: Gartenarbeit stärkt die Gesundheit und macht glücklicher Ein glücklicher und zufriedener Ruhestand Jeder von uns wird den Ruhestand anders wahrnehmen. Wie wir diese zusätzliche Zeit nutzen, die uns plötzlich zur Verfügung steht, hängt laut Harvard Health Publications stark von den individuellen Umständen ab. Dort wird beschrieben, dass die Pensionierung eine große Erleichterung darstellt, wenn der vorherige Beruf langweilig oder unbelohnt war. In dem Fall, dass man seine Arbeit sehr genossen und der strukturierte Lebensstil einem gut getan hat, kann der Ruhestand auf ganz andere Weise empfunden werden. In letzterem Fall ist es eine größere Herausforderung, sicherzustellen, dass du einen glücklichen und gesunden Ruhestand haben wirst. Ein Ehepaar, das glücklich verheiratet ist oder eine langjährige Beziehung hat, genießt mit größerer Wahrscheinlichkeit seinen Ruhestand als jemand, dessen Privatleben instabil ist. Gesunde Rentner werden sich auf eine aktive und lohnende Zeit freuen, während diejenigen, die bei schlechter Gesundheit sind, diese Option nicht haben werden. Unabhängig davon, in welche Kategorie du passt: Versuche so aktiv wie möglich zu bleiben und deinen Körper und Geist beschäftigt zu halten. Als Senior Stress abbauen: Möglichkeiten der Hilfe Einer der wichtigsten Tipps zum Stressabbau, die das von der APA erstellte Informationsblatt bietet, ist, sich rechtzeitig um Hilfe zu bemühen. Wenn die Rente bereits angetreten wurde und einem alles über den Kopf steigt, ist es schwieriger. Wenn wir von einem gesunden Ruhestand sprechen, beziehen wir uns natürlich auch auf eine optimale psychische Gesundheit als Senior. Hier sind drei Ideen, um diese zu erreichen: KVT (kognitive Verhaltenstherapie) Diese trägt dazu bei, die zugrunde liegenden Gründe für Stress zu erforschen und zu entdecken und negative Gedanken in positive Gedanken umzuwandeln Unterstützende Therapie Oft kann ein nicht wertender Zuhörer dazu beitragen, dass man beispielsweise Gefühle von Angst akzeptiert. Der Therapeut kann außerdem Tipps zum Stressabbau anbieten, um eine positivere Denkweise einzuführen. Entspannungstraining Verwandt mit Meditation, wird hierbei auch über Anspannung und Stress informiert sowie Techniken zur Muskelentspannung vermittelt. Meditation und Yoga senkt den Blutdruck und reduziert das Stresslevel Stressabbau: Was du tun kannst Dr. Dossett empfiehlt, mit Angehörigen oder engen Freunden zu sprechen und außerdem dein Hausarzt aufzusuchen. Über Probleme zu sprechen, die dich belasten, kann manchmal schon zu einer Lösung führen. Aus der Sicht der körperlichen Gesundheit betrachtet, kann dein Arzt jedoch deinen Blutdruck überprüfen und eine gesunde Lebensweise empfehlen, insbesondere im Zusammenhang mit der Ernährung. Für stark Betroffene sind auch Antidepressiva eine Option. "Jeder von uns wird den Ruhestand anders sehen. Wie wir diese zusätzliche Zeit nutzen, die uns plötzlich zur Verfügung steht, hängt stark von den individuellen Umständen ab." Er gibt auch an, dass einer der besten Tipps zum Stressabbau darin besteht, sich darauf zu konzentrieren, genau das Gegenteil der Stressreaktion - die Entspannungsreaktion - durch MBSR, Meditation oder Tai Chi, Yoga und Atemübungen auszulösen. All dies senkt den Sauerstoffverbrauch sowie die Herz- und Atemfrequenz, senkt so den Blutdruck und die Stresshormone und trägt dazu bei, eine positivere Lebenseinstellung beizubehalten. Wie die amerikanische Schauspielerin Valerie Bertinelli so treffend sagte: „Glück ist eine Wahl. Sie können wählen, glücklich zu sein. Es wird Stress im Leben geben, aber Sie haben die Wahl, ob Sie sich davon beeinflussen lassen oder nicht. “ In der Tat können und werden Senioren mit Problemen in Bezug auf Einsamkeit, Gesundheit und mögliche kognitive Beeinträchtigungen konfrontiert sein, aber optimistisch zu bleiben ist unerlässlich. Wenn Du diese Tipps zum Stressabbau für Senioren ausprobierst, kannst du deine Chancen auf einen glücklichen und gesunden Ruhestand erhöhen. Genieß' es – du hast es dir verdient! ● Titelbild: unsplash.com Auch du bist im Ruhestand oder stehst kurz davor? Was sind deine Stressfrei-Tipps im Alter, welche Pläne sollen deinen neuen Lebensabschnitt prägen? Kommentiere hier oder diskutiere im Forum. Geschrieben von Marilyn Coates-Lower Ich bin ein freier Geist, der jeden Morgen mit einem Lächeln aufwacht. Mein Leben war ein Abenteuer und obwohl ich nun offiziell in Rente bin, arbeite ich weiterhin als Autor und Korrektor. Ich lebe mit meinem Pferd und meiner Katze in einem atemberaubenden Teil der Bretagne, Frankreich, und genieße den Blick auf die Wälder, die mein Haus umgeben, und über das Tal zum Dorf. Indem ich meine Erfahrungen teile, hoffe ich durch mein schreiben die Menschen zu inspirieren, positiver, fröhlicher und vorausschauender zu werden.

Something on your mind? Excessive worry, doubt and apprehension is detrimental to your mental health. These six quotes about worrying from Calvin Holbrook should help you to realise that worrying only leads to unhappiness. Find hope and calm a busy mind. When worries and doubts plague our mind, the result can be destructive and detrimental to our mental health. In fact, excessive worrying and internal conflicts can easily spiral into more generalized anxiety and depression. Fretting about something in the future (or the past) is something we've all done, by just how common is worrying? Well, according to a 2015 survey of 1,000 adults in the UK, 86 per cent of those that replied consider themselves as worriers. And two out of five people questioned said they worried about something every single day. The survey also showed that, on average, people spend an incredible 1 hour and 50 minutes fretting over something each day. While work-related issues hit the top spot on the fear factor, concerns about money, being late, and health issues also ranked highly. And while more than a third (34 per cent) claimed to be happy to discuss their concerns with others, around a quarter admit they keep their worries to themselves. It's then when deeper problems can arise. It's always a good idea to chat with someone about your worries – a friend or a stranger – but if you can't, these quotes about worrying may help you to change perspective and free your mind. Quotes about worrying: 6 powerful sayings 1. “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” Leo Buscaglia This quote on worrying from American author and motivational speaker Leo Buscaglia is one you may have already heard of. Indeed, it’s one of the most well-known sayings when it comes to the subjects of fear and apprehension. Buscaglia’s concise quote makes what we often forget abundantly clear: no matter how much you worry about something, you cannot change the outcome. Worry serves no purpose. Indeed, worrying over something will only steal time that you could be using in the present – time you could be solve your problem or to do something productive that could be boosting your happiness instead of depleting it. In fact, if you are worrying about something that happened in the past, something going on now, or something in the future, then you are not living mindfully and therefore limiting your chances of joy. So, learnt to stop worrying and stop wasting your precious time. 2. “There were many terrible things in my life and most of them never happened.” Michel de Montaigne This worry quote from French philosopher Michel de Montaigne is another popular saying about anguish and doubt. In it, de Montaigne explains that worries are generally just that – worries – but that they are given so much attention and time in our mind that they almost become 'real' events, when, in fact, they are just thoughts. Indeed, the vast majority of the time, the things people are worrying about do not come true – some studies suggest even up to 90 per cent of the time. Furthermore, in cases where those fears and worries do come to fruition, the outcome is generally better than what was initially expected! So, the moral of the story? Stop creating scenarios in your mind from developing into events when they are just thoughts. 3. “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” Elbert Hubbard This worry quote from American writer, artist and philosopher Elbert Green Hubbard is all about the fear of taking risks. Worrying about what may – or may not – happen can sometimes stop us from moving on with our lives or taking chances that we are offered. RELATED: The time is now – how to stop worrying about the future This quote around fear could relate to something as small deciding what to choose to eat from a menu or it could refer to a more extreme life change, such as taking a job in a new country. Many people let their fears and worries block them from moving forward in life. But if you’re continually fearful of the future and making decisions, this can lead to missed opportunities and regret later down the line. It's better to stop worrying about making mistakes and go ahead and take a chance if you're considering it: taking a new opportunity or risk could work out in your favour. And, well, if not, then you will always have the chance to learn from any mistake or situation that doesn't go to plan. 4. “Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning.” Winston Churchill Celebrated UK prime minister Winston Churchill is the source of our next quote about worrying, and it’s a useful lesson. With his words he is basically telling us what we already know: worrying never gets you anywhere – it’s better to use your time constructively and make a plan of action to deal with what’s bothering you. For example, if you’re worrying because you have too many things to do and don’t have a clue where to begin, instead of developing anxiety about it all, write down what you have to do on paper. Then you can 'see’ it more clearly and start prioritizing your tasks in a 'to-do' list. “Buscaglia’s concise quote makes what we often forget abundantly clear: no matter how much you worry about something, you cannot change the outcome. Worry serves no purpose.” Similarly, if your fears are more tangible and you’re worrying about making a decision on something one way or another, make a list on paper of all the pros and cons before making a final choice. Writing worries down and making a plan of action is a way of taking the worry outside of your head and converting energy from worry to action. Churchill’s advice should help you to reduce worrisome thoughts, make a decision and move on with your life. 5. “You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.” Olin Miller American author Olin Miller is behind this quote about worrying, and I'm sure it’s one many of us can relate to. Worry itself can revolved around many subjects – financial, health, relationship, parenting, getting older, etc – the list is endless. But some of the top worries we have as humans relates to what other people think about us. This is often in terms of our personality, relationships, being attractive enough, our looks, dress sense, etc. RELATED: 8 powerful suicide prevention quotes It’s human nature to want to be loved and feel acceptance. However, this can often lead to people worrying excessively about what others think about them. In fact, science shows this is waste of time as humans spend the majority of our time not thinking about other people, but – you guessed it – about ourselves. Indeed, in 1997, Dunbar, Marriott et al found that 78 per cent of human conversations involved talking about ourselves and our perceptions of the world. Test the theory and ask yourself how often you think about others. Think back to the last time you were at the supermarket, on public transport or simply walking down the street. Try to recall one detail about another person you encountered in any of those scenarios. Not easy, is it? That’s because we’re pretty much all thinking about ourselves and our issues most of the time. So, as this quote on worrying suggests, stop fretting about what other people think about you because – most of the time – they definitely are not. 6. “If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.” Roy T. Bennett This quote on worry from author Roy T Bennett is all about mindfulness and how living in the present is our only chance for happiness. Worrying about the future can be destructive, but, similarly, raking over past events that we cannot change is bad for our mental health too. Know as rumination, this element of OCD is unhealthy and can in turn lead to depression (learn more on how to stop ruminating). RELATED: 7 powerful quotes on resilience Practising mindfulness helps us to stay in the present moment, fully embracing and experiencing every passing moment. Staying mindful as much as possible helps to keep worries about the future or past at bay, giving less chance for fear and anxiousness to infiltrate the mind. • Main image: shutterstock/Srdjan Randjelovic We hope these quotes on worrying will help you to deal with any doubts about the future or anguish from the past in a healthier and productive way. If you're feeling suicidal, please reach out to someone on one of these global helplines. You can also discuss depression, worry and anxiety with happiness.com members in our forum. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Acceptance | Body positivity | Resilience | Meditation Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes collage artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.