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As hate speech and intolerance becomes increasingly common – both online and in the 'real' world – having the moral courage to confront it is more necessary than ever. Ed Gould suggests five ways to prepare yourself to stand up against hate in our increasingly polarised world. Do you have the feeling that hate is on the rise around the world? If you look at the number of cases of hate speech and crimes being reported, you may well be right. In the face of this unpleasant change in the political landscape, it's essential not to get caught up in hate and embrace positivity and happiness. But how do you take action without hating the haters or lowering yourself to their level of vitriol? Furthermore, how do you do so without putting yourself and your loved ones in danger? Finding and showing so-called moral courage is one possible answer. What is moral courage? Moral courage involves exhibiting the courage to stand up, take action and be heard for reasons of morality – despite the risk of potentially adverse consequences. Situations which may involve you having to show moral courage are usually challenging and tense. Stop hate: do you have the moral courage to speak out? Fortunately, there are several lessons to be learned from history about standing up to hatred and the people that manipulate negativity for their own ends. Let's examine some of the key techniques you can use to help garner the sort of moral courage required – while ensuring that you don't put yourself at risk at the same time. Preparing to show moral courage Many people are surprised when they first hear hate speech live and direct in the 'real' world (rather than on social media). They're usually not used to it and it can often cause well-meaning people to clam up in shock. Equally, if you're a witness to abuse or crime in the street, you may also understandably freeze in the horror of the moment. In order to overcome this normal human response, it's necessary to prepare yourself. Being mindful of all kinds of potential threats helps you to respond appropriately and support people in danger. This applies to hate speech and crime, too. By recognizing hatred for what it is, it becomes much easier to call it out. “Speaking up against hate crime is about challenging it from becoming the norm. If you say or do nothing, you will probably feel bad about it afterwards.” Having the moral courage to stand up against hatred is frequently down to nothing more than having prepared and rehearsed in your own mind what you would say or do if you happened to face it. So you can prepare by thinking ahead about what you might say in response to common scenarios, such as a racist comment made by a stranger or a derogatory, sexist term used by a colleague in the workplace. Roleplay different scenarios in your head and imagine how you would use your moral courage to engage in conversation. How moral courage benefits you and society Having the moral courage to speak up against hate crime/speech is about challenging such behaviour to stop it from becoming the norm. If you witness something that you feel is wrong and say or do nothing, you will probably feel bad about it afterwards. Staying silent also means that others are less likely to find moral fortitude in themselves, too. Ultimately, this creates an atmosphere in society where hatred becomes normalised. In such environments, hate speech and crime only tend to get worse. In the end, we all suffer from tolerating it in this way. Would you have the moral courage to intervene in a physical attack? On the other hand, having the moral courage to confront hatred when it rears its ugly head means that the perpetrators of it will think twice before saying and doing such things again. Furthermore, displaying moral courage encourages others to follow your actions. Bystanders are more likely to join in and show their own moral courage if they see someone else practising it – creating a sort of 'strength in numbers' feeling. Every action taken against hate or abuse – no matter how small it may seem at the time – is a victory for a fair, inclusive and decent society. 5 ways to develop your moral courage Feeling inspired? Want to be prepared for tough situations that require moral courage? Here are five steps you can take: 1. Learn about intervention training Protecting someone who's experiencing a hate crime may require you to intervene directly on their behalf. There are a number of courses and workshops that teach people how to be effective as a bystander and to make safe interventions. In the UK, the University of the West of England have been in the forefront of such training. MORE LIKE THIS: Six Tips For Speaking Up Against Bad Behaviour The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits The Power of Kindness: the Ripple Effect of Being Nice Meanwhile, in the US, courses like Green Dot have led to a greater number of positive interventions that stand up to hate. Wherever you are in the world, consider trying out a course in intervention training. And if you can't find one near you, try an online class. 2. Lead and others will follow There's little doubt that many people who tolerate hate speech would prefer for someone to call it out – perhaps they just lack the moral courage to do it for themselves. After all, in an increasingly violent world, standing up to hateful people can often put you in a precarious – even potentially lethal – situation. In any group situation, including social media, it's a well-established psychological concept that people 'fall into line' within groups. For example, if you speak up against a racist or xenophobic comment then others will probably back you up. Research from New York University has shown that people who use racist terms on social media refrain from doing it so often if someone in their circle stands up to them about it. Peace by piece: showing moral courage encourages others to do the same 3. Raise your profile Sometimes being an intervener against hate speech means going against the grain. It means feeling the pressure of a peer group and not to act. Train yourself to feel this natural anxiety and act in defiance of it anyway. “Having the moral courage to confront hatred when it rears its ugly head means the perpetrators will think twice before saying and doing such things again.” To do so, it's a good idea to stand out from the crowd every now and then. Do so when it's safe. It will leave you better equipped to handle hatred when it turns up for real. Psychologist Lynne Henderson refers to this sort of preparation as social fitness. Her research suggests that practice and roleplay helps you to draw on moral courage when you need it. 4. Seek help There's always a balance to be sought between rushing into an intervention and putting yourself in the firing line. According to Philip Zimbardo, psychologist and the founder of the Heroic Imagination Project, when a situation is potentially dangerous, calling the police or others nearby to help you do the right thing is the best course of action. “You can only be an effective social change agent if you understand when to act alone, as a member of a team, or not at all,” he says. 5. Take a second to really think Studies undertaken at Princeton University showed that people who were in a hurry were far less likely to stop and assist a stranger in distress. Furthermore, when several people witness a dire situation, each observer is less likely to help. This is called the 'bystander effect' in psychology. When you stop and think about it, you'll soon remind yourself that it's a normal human tendency to assume someone else will act. That simple pause for thought will allow you to overcome the 'bystander effect' and make the decision to be the one who acts. The takeaway: what is moral courage? None of us possess unlimited amounts of moral courage, just as none of us have unlimited happiness. After all, we can all be cowed in certain situations. Nonetheless, self-preparation makes it more likely that you will respond to hatred in a way that successfully challenges it. This can help to make society less tolerant of it. Once you have built some confidence and learned some techniques that match your personal values, you will find it easier to put them into action again and again. ● Images: shutterstock/CHAjAMP, shutterstock/PhotodriveStudio, pexels/Anastasiya Lobanovskaya Have you ever witnessed a hate crime or another disturbing situation and used your moral courage to stand up for what you believe is right? The community would love to hear your story in the comments below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Assertiveness | Mediation | Empathy Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He is a practitioner of Reiki.

The terms 'meditation' and 'mindfulness' are often used interchangeably. However, although the practices share some traits, they are not the same thing. Stanislava Puač Jovanović looks at the three main differences of mindfulness versus meditation. Meditative practices first entered mainstream Western society in the 1960s – mainly through the hippie movement – with a gradual shift away from spiritual and towards a more secular approach. Much more recently, interest in mindfulness has followed. Indeed, nowadays, both practices are hugely popular around the world. Still, many people get puzzled by the question of mindfulness vs meditation, and the terms are often used interchangeably. So, are they one and the same? The short answer is, of course, no. Nonetheless, there is an overlap that causes confusion. And the fact that you can also practise mindfulness meditation doesn’t help in differentiating between the two either. This article will explain the differences, and show you how you can incorporate mindfulness meditation into your everyday life. Meditation and mindfulness in the West Western thinkers (Schopenhauer, among others) have been interested in Eastern philosophy and practices for a long time. Although some thinkers (such as Jung) opposed the notion of Westerners engaging in Eastern meditative practices, that warning may not apply to many of the currently practised modifications of meditation and mindfulness. Is this meditation? Mindfulness? Or both? What is clear is that these tools for mental health and well-being are becoming increasingly used. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) National Center for Health Statistics, 14.2 per cent of Americans meditate. That’s a more than threefold increase between 2012 and 2017. The CDC also found that 9 to 14 per cent of Americans engage in some of the structured forms of mindfulness. Elsewhere, in the UK, the positive effects of both meditation and mindfulness have been recognised by the National Health Service (NHS). Moreover, the Wellcome Trust is funding a £6.4m study as a part of an effort to introduce mindfulness to teenagers and young people as a preventive measure against the adverse effects of stress. Mindfulness vs meditation: what’s the difference? Before we dig deeper into the matter of mindfulness versus meditation, let’s get to know each a bit better first. Meditation is a practice with a long history of use for increasing focus, calmness, awareness, and overall psychophysical well-being and balance. You can engage in guided or unguided forms, as well as decide between insight or calming types of meditation. “Many people get puzzled by the question of mindfulness vs meditation. So, are they one and the same? The short answer is no, they're not.” Some of the most common types of meditation practised in the West are focused attention, gratitude meditation, progressive relaxation, kundalini meditation, zen meditation, loving-kindness meditation, visualization meditation, and, yes, mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness, similarly, is a mental practice aimed at increasing awareness, focus on the present moment, and non-judgement or acceptance. It has been widely used to relieve the effects of stress and trauma, reduce chronic pain, increase physical health, and bring better cognitive functioning and emotional stability. Shore thing: the benefits of meditation are proven shutterstock/javi_indy Mindfulness teaches us to become free of dwelling about the past or worrying about the future – a cognitive habit some of us spend as much as half of our time on: a habit that makes us utterly unhappy. In the words of Jon Kabat-Zinn, the man who has done most to popularise mindfulness based on scientific evidence of its benefits: “Mindfulness practice means that we commit fully in each moment to be present; inviting ourselves to interface with this moment in full awareness, with the intention to embody as best we can an orientation of calmness, mindfulness, and equanimity right here and right now.” Differences between mindfulness and meditation So, what are the differences between mindfulness and meditation? They can and do work together to produce an overall benefit. In fact, the two practices complement each other, increasing the other’s positive impact. Nonetheless, when you want to compare meditation vs mindfulness, they’re different in a few distinct ways: 1. Subject Meditation is awareness of “no-thing”, meaning that it aims to let thoughts, perceptions and intentions pass us, with a focus purely on our breath or mantra. Mindfulness, on the other hand, teaches us to become aware of “some-thing”. Indeed, as many aspects of our surrounding as possible, learning to engage in a meaningful perception of our inner and outer worlds. 2. Structure You usually need to follow a formal routine for meditation (when, how, for how long, etc.). However, for mindfulness, you don’t have to (although you can) set up a formal routine. Indeed, you can incorporate it into your everyday interaction with yourself, the world, and the others. “Instead of thinking about mindfulness vs meditation, we should be more inclined to embrace both of these tools as possible conduits to as harmonious state of mind and emotion.” 3. Form Meditation is definitely an activity, even though it can yield changes in our constitution, capabilities, and attitudes. Expanding on the previous point, mindfulness can be understood as more of an attitude, a capacity, a way of being even. It can be an all-encompassing ability that follows us around whatever we do. OK, so what is mindfulness meditation? Now that we’ve clarified the difference of meditation vs mindfulness, it’s time to bring them back together again. Mindfulness meditation is a structured form of mindfulness, a practice in which you fully commit to being mindful for a certain amount of time. It combines the benefits of the two. Here’s how to do it: Set aside five or ten minutes and set up a (soft) alarm to warn you when the time’s up so that you don’t have to check the clock. Sit somewhere where you’ll be comfortable and you won’t get interrupted. Drop your chin and let your gaze fall downward. You can, but you don’t have to, close your eyes. Be present for a few moments, gently focusing on here and now. Begin following your breath as it enters your nose and travels down to your lungs and then back out. Notice all the sensations that follow your breathing, tenderly focusing your attention over and over again. Your mind will wander, over and over again (less, as you become more proficient in the practice). When it does, simply acknowledge the fact, don’t be judgmental of yourself, and return your attention to your breath and the present moment. Just let the thought slide beside you and away from you. Before you make any movement, such as scratching an itch, become aware of your intention, then move with the consciousness of every aspect of it. Then return to your position and refocus to your breath. When you’re ready, slowly exit the meditation. Start noticing the room around you; the sounds, light, smells, and open your eyes fully. Notice how your body feels. Be aware of how your mind is at the moment. Then decide how you want to continue your day. Reaping the benefits: meditation vs mindfulness Instead of thinking about mindfulness vs meditation, we should be more inclined to embrace both of these tools as possible conduits to a harmonious state of mind and emotion. The benefits of meditation and mindfulness have been empirically proven and testified by millions of people around the world. If you too decide to give them a try, you're on the path of leading a happier and more balanced, but, primarily, an aware life. ● Main image: shutterstock/maxpetrov happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ read our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Key to Happiness | What is Lemonading? | Positive Psychology Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. During her early career, she gained several certifications (life coach, assertive communication trainer, peer educator, fitness instructor). Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

After being pictured knitting at the Olympics, champion diver Tom Daley put crochet and yarn back in the public eye. Keen knitter Dee Marques looks at the health benefits of this popular pastime – from reducing anxiety to improving cognitive function. Two years ago, I was browsing a crafts store website when something caught my eye. All I saw was a beautifully vibrant teal colour, and then I realised it was yarn. I really wanted to have that colour in my life, so I thought that if that meant learning to knit, so be it! I ordered the yarn, found some YouTube tutorials, and haven’t stopped knitting since. In fact, it turns out that my experience of falling in love with yarn and knitting is quite common. Indeed, knitting is going through quite a revival, with people of all ages turning to the craft and discovering the benefits it brings to their mental health. Let's look at why this traditional skill is so popular again and at some of the interesting health advantages knitting can bring you. Knitting: how it became hip When people think about knitting, they usually picture an old lady sitting in a rocking chair and making a pair of thick and furry socks! Well, although old ladies do, of course, still knit, this old-fashioned stereotype is gradually being replaced by a new reality: knitting is no longer just a 'housewifey' thing to do. The health benefits of knitting include reducing stress and anxiety Indeed, knitting is fast-shedding its fuddy-duddy image. Over the past few years it's gone from being seen as something traditional to something radical. Now, knitting is no longer associated with domesticity, but rather with a creative activity for men and women of all ages. For example, Facebook is full of knitting groups for guys, such as Men Who Knit. And the list of celebrities who are into knitting includes Russell Crowe, Christina Hendricks, and, more recently, Olympic bronze medallist Tom Daley – you may have spotted him in the crowd recently darning away during a swimming competition. “Knitting is going through a revival, and people of all ages are turning to the craft and falling in love with it – and the benefits it brings to their health.” A quick online search reveals lots of knitting clubs, as well as an endless Instagram feed where people from all over the world show off their skills and new creations. Some designers have started featuring incredibly creative knit garments that show how knitting is a match for unconventional personalities. Diver Tom Daley and one of his creations Instagram/madewithlovebytomdaley Furthermore, knitting has experienced a huge surge in popularity since the start of the pandemic. As millions of us found ourselves stuck at home with nothing to do due to lockdowns, knitting became a great way to learn a new skill and pass the time while doing something both creative and productive. In fact, during the past 18 months knitting stores have experienced a massive increase in sales and a surge in social media followers! Practical advantages of knitting So, before getting into the health benefits of knitting, here are some other reasons why it's such a cool hobby to indulge in: It’s affordable. You can get started with just a few knitting needles, yarn, and a couple of stoppers. If you don’t want to buy them new, charity shops have tons of knitting goodies at low prices. In fact, I was able to get started by spending just £5! I found a few used needles at a second-hand store, and a neighbour gave me her kit, which she didn’t use anymore due to arthritis. You can knit at home – and everywhere else you want. I made myself a pouch for my knitting tools and I make sure to always have it in my bag. That way, I can make progress on whatever I’m working on when I’m waiting at the GP surgery or at any other place where I know I have a long wait ahead of me. You don't need much space. When you start knitting, you’ll need to follow patterns. Unlike sewing patterns, which can be huge and take up a lot of space, knitting patterns can be easily downloaded from websites and they barely cover more than an A4-sized piece of paper. There are plenty of free patterns, too. Knitting is useful. Fancy a pair of fingerless gloves in your favourite colour? You can make them in one day. Want to make someone a handmade gift? Then knit a scarf, a beanie, or a wash cloth. When it comes to the practical side of knitting, nothing beats knowing that you can make your own clothes and accessories. The knitting community is friendly and supportive. Everyone knows what it’s like to be a beginner and the community if full of people offering help and support to newbies. Six key health benefits of knitting The health benefits of knitting are mostly linked to mental health. But since mind and body are closely connected, the health benefits of knitting could also extend to physical well-being. Here are six potential advantages: 1. Reduced stress and anxiety This is one of the greatest health benefits of knitting and the first to be noticed. Once you get 'in the flow' (and you will know when this happens!), knitting grabs all your attention and you become so absorbed in working row after row, that it takes your mind away from other worries. For me, knitting is synonymous with serenity, reducing both my anxiety and stress. 2. Improved cognitive function At first sight, it may seem that knitting is a simple and repetitive activity. But alternating your knit and purl stitches stimulates brain function. Studies carried out in older adults have shown that this type of productive mental engagement can benefit cognitive skills, including memory and reasoning. Linked to this, some research suggests that the cognitive demands of knitting can also reduce the risk of developing Alzheimer’s and dementia, as it keeps the brain cells fired up. More men than ever are discovering the health benefits of knitting shutterstock/Elmur 3. Improved self-confidence Knitting means creating something, and it’s empowering to go from being a consumer to being a producer. This gives knitters a boost of confidence and a feeling of accomplishment when seeing their work progress. Indeed, there’s a feeling of fulfilment involved in being able to wear or use what you made – doing something with your hands has healing power! And while we all know clinical depression requires professional support, studies have shown that knitting has can take negative thoughts off the mind and release serotonin, which helps fight depressive states. 4. A lesson in mindfulness Knitting requires focus and concentration in the present, one stitch at the time. This craft has been called 'the new yoga', since every knitting session is a great opportunity to disconnect from the outside world, slow down, and focus. Does this sound familiar? Yes, it’s similar to mindfulness, and so the health benefits of knitting are linked. “Studies have shown that knitting can take negative thoughts off the mind and release serotonin, which helps fight depressive states.” In fact, some people compare knitting to meditation and have even coined a new term for it: medknitation. Instead of repeating a mantra or focusing on their breathing, some knitters concentrate on the repetitive flow of knitting and are able to achieve a similar meditative state. The teacher of happiness.com's MBSR course, Tine Steiss, is an avid knitter and keen proponent of the hobby due to its many benefits: "Knitting keeps my hands busy and this is beneficial in two situations: I can listen more deeply, be it in a meeting, in a conversation or with an audio book or podcast. I don't then reach for my mobile phone, a snack, or some other form of distraction. RELATED: How to Practise Niksen – the Art of Doing Nothing “But knitting also helps me relax, or in other words, it's an excuse to relax. When my hands are busy, the brain no longer searches for things that need to be done. Unlike mindfulness meditation, where I'm actively exercising the brain in a form of focused stillness, when I'm knitting, the brain is casually chilling on the couch.” Happy knits from designer Lizzie Kaya Instagram/gimme_kaya 5. It boosts dopamine and a feel-good effect Knitting can be frustrating when you’re a beginner. It took me a while to figure out how to undo mistakes, and until that happened, I was annoyed every time I got a stitch wrong. But it’s also incredibly rewarding. Seeing the progress of your work, gaining self-confidence, and being relaxed are all states that trigger dopamine. This substance is known as the feel-good hormone, and it has a beneficial effect on body and mind. The release of dopamine can help regulate mood, sleep, digestion, blood flow, and many other important functions that contribute to the fabulous health benefits of knitting. RELATED: Happiness Hormones – the Neurochemicals of Happiness 6. A sense of control Most of us have felt things getting out of control over the past year or so. Instead of dwelling on the negative state of things, choosing to spend time doing something over which you do have control can help improve your well-being. Start with an easy project so that you can experience that wonderful feeling of being in control of what can be controlled. To sum up, knitting is another coping tool you can add to your arsenal. Emotional well-being is one of the health benefits of knitting that everyone should experience. The takeaway: why knitting benefits your health The therapeutic effects of knitting range from reduced stress to better cognitive functioning, self-confidence, and the ability to focus on the present moment. You can experience the health benefits of knitting whether your knit alone or as part of a group. It doesn’t take much to get started, and once you get hooked, you’ll never look back! ● Main image: shutterstock/Samo Trebizan Are you a keen knitter? What health benefits does it give you? Share your thoughts and designs with the happiness.com community in the comments below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Stress management | Sculpturing | Dementia | Painting Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

We're busier in our jobs than ever before, so could mindfulness in the workplace help us to work more productively and calmly? Calvin Holbrook looks at mindfulness at work and shares six tips to stay present in our jobs. The modern workplace can be full of distractions: loud conversations, interruptions from colleagues, chat channels such as Slack, phone calls, meetings, presentations, mobile phones... and just the internet in general. There's always something that can take us away from the task we're working on. So how can we apply the principles of mindfulness to feel more present at work, as well as boost our productivity? Someone who knows about staying mindful on the job is Jutta Tobias PhD. She's a social psychologist with 20 years of work experience in organizational development and capacity-building. Dr Tobias researches and teaches personal development and leadership in collaboration with executive students and in a variety of organizations. Through her teaching and coaching, Tobias helps individuals develop their personal resilience and emotional intelligence. She works with groups to help improve their decision-making, overcome obstacles, and generate sustainable performance. Dr Tobias' current research focus is on establishing a scientific evidence base for linking mindfulness-based interventions with organizational transformation. Mindfulness at work We spoke with Dr Tobias about mindfulness at work and she offered some valuable insights: “In the last couple of years when I ask people how they are doing in their organisation, they’re no longer just saying they’re busy, they’re actually saying ‘I’m overwhelmed at work.’ “Or they’re now seeing business as the status quo, if not the hero status: ‘I’m busier than you!’ But it doesn’t necessarily make people more effective. And mindfulness practice and mindfulness as a state or a way of being, is a little bit the opposite or the antidote to moving fast to being busy. It’s actually about being.” .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Video by Arlo Laibowitz Mindfulness at work: the studies Research into mindfulness in the workplace is fairly limited, although there are a couple of studies that appear to back its benefits. In a study conducted with Duke University, the insurance company Aetna had over 10,000 employees participate in a mindfulness or yoga class. Aetna found that among those who took part, there was an almost 30 per cent reduction in stress levels, a 20 per cent improvement in sleep quality and a 19 per cent reduction in pain. Participants also became more effective at work, gaining an average of 62 minutes per week of added productivity. The conclusion? Mindfulness at work resulted in a healthier and more effective workforce. “There's always something that can take us away from the task we're working on. So, how can we apply the principles of mindfulness to feel more alive and present at work?” Similarly, a study published in the Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine and reported on by Greater Good Science Center found benefits to mindfulness in the workplace. The research sought to determine whether an online mindfulness program created for the Dow Chemical Company, could reduce stress while simultaneously enhancing the well-being and resilience of employees. RELATED: ‘I Hate My Job!’ Cultivate These 6 Traits and Love Your Work Just under 90 participants completed scientific scales designed to measure their levels of stress, mindfulness, resiliency and vigor. They were then divided into two groups — one to take the online mindfulness class and one to join the wait list for it. The researchers came back six months later, just as the first group was finishing the class. And they found that, in fact, the group that took the class was doing a lot better than the group that hadn't yet taken the class – they were less stressed, more resilient, and more energetic. “This online mindfulness intervention seems to be both practical and effective in… enhancing overall employee well-being,” the researchers concluded. Six tips for staying mindful while working So, it seems there is some good evidence that being mindful in the workplace can make us happier and more productive. Even without a formal meditation practice, there are simple and practical steps you can take to give yourself a better chance of staying mindful and present while working. Here are six of the best: 1. Be email efficient New emails in our inbox have a habit of seducing us away from the task at hand to give them our undivided attention. Perhaps it’s because we’re not really enjoying our task so we're looking for an easy distraction. But it could also be because completing small, easily accomplished tasks like replying to an email releases dopamine, one of the happiness hormones, in our brains. However, in fact, answering mail throughout the day means we end up disrupting our focus from the task at hand. • JOIN US! Sign up to learn more about meditation and mindfulness • So, instead of answering email as soon as it pings into your inbox, be email efficient and allot dedicated periods of time to replying to messages. For example, use 30 minutes first thing in the morning to reply to any urgent mails you have, or wait until you have completed one of your major tasks. Apply mindfulness when opening your inbox and watch your productivity rise. Be mindful at work with deep breaths shutterstock/fizkies 2. Turn off pop-up notifications Just like emails, these take your attention away from the task at hand and distract you. Turn off all unnecessary notifications, and, instead, set your own mindfulness notification system with an hourly alarm on your phone during the day. RELATED: Why Can't I Focus? 8 Tips on How to Avoid Distractions Every hour when your phone pings, take a mindful breath or rub your hands together to become aware of your senses. It will help you come back into the present moment and refocus. Dr Tobias agrees. “The easiest and quickest instruction that I give to others and to myself is that practising mindfulness is all about coming to our senses, and it's a bit of a metaphor but it’s also a physical instruction: get in touch with my body: feel,” she told us. “I rub my hands together, and for a moment or two, notice the sensations in my fingers and my hand and that brings me back into the here and now. The people that now how to do this simple instruction and do it consistently are more present. And because they’re more present, they’re actually more satisfied.” RELATED: Mindful Minutes: 10 Small Practices That Make a Big Difference 3. Accept what you cannot change Acceptance lies at the heart of mindfulness. To be mindful means to accept this present moment just as it is. And it also means to accept yourself, just as you are at this present moment. It doesn’t mean giving up, but it does mean acknowledging how things currently are before trying to change anything. Making mistakes – big or small – at work happen all the time and we need to accept it when it happens instead of worrying. Here’s a workplace example, you made a huge typo in a social media post and can't change it or you went way over your planned budget. Firstly, you should accept that you ca cannot change it so you need to try to move on with the situation by learning from it. RELATED: How to Show Compassion at Work Lack of acceptance can lead to denial of the fact or avoidance (trying to avoid the issue or skipping meetings with your supervisor) or even aggression (blaming someone else for the mistake or taking it out on others). Instead, try to accept the situation, talk to the necessary staffers involved and learn from your mistakes. Acceptance actually leads to change. Self-acceptance is even more powerful. It involves embracing all facets of yourself — your weaknesses, shortcomings, aspects you don’t like and those you admire. When you can accept yourself, you reduce energy-draining self-criticism. You’re then in a better place to enjoy your successes and laugh off your shortcomings. 4. Finish one task before you begin the next People often love to big up their multi-tasking abilities, but the truth is, nobody can actually multitask – trying to do two or more tasks at the same time and switching back and forth between them just isn’t efficient. “Being a single-tasker is more productive and a great way of seeing how much actual time – not including distractions – you spend on regular work activities.” Become a single-tasker by planning a time journal of your working day. Spend five minutes in the morning making a list of all the tasks you have to complete on any given day, then focus on completing one at a time, tracking the time you take for each. RELATED: How to Get Shit Done: 8 Productivity Hacks DoneIt’s more productive and is a great way of seeing how much actual time – not including distractions – you spend your time on regular work activities, which will help you plan your workload more efficiently in the future. 5. Mindfulness exercises You can train your brain to become more mindful by carrying out small mindfulness exercises. In a busy workplace, it’s probably not possible to take 30 minutes out to meditate, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be mindful at work: even a minute or two of simply taking time out to connect with yours senses and how you’re feeling can be classified as mindfulness. • JOIN US! Sign up today and make new friends at happiness.com • Take time out throughout the day to practice small mindfulness exercises in the office, for example, simply to sit upright and focus on your breath for a couple of minutes. Count on each exhalation and release any distractions by going back to focusing on your breathing. During times of high pressure in the workplace, practicing a short mindfulness exercise such as this breathing example can be a godsend. 6. Make meetings more mindful Work meetings are often seen as a necessary evil: they can be painful and unproductive if not managed correctly. But, by being mindful about meetings, you can even turn them into a highly useful and even enjoyable experience. Break to stretch and rub your hands shutterstock/TORWAISTUDIO Firstly, check in with yourself before a meeting. Notice what mental state you're in. Are you excited or frustrated and anxious? By becoming aware of your mental state, you have the chance to reconsider the state you want to be in for the duration of the meeting. If you take part in a state of appreciation or contribution, the impact will be much more positive than if you’re coming from a place of frustration or anger. If you find yourself getting stressed or tense in a meeting, try to focus on the breathing exercise mentioned before. Mindful meetings wrap up effectively and with firm intentions: What have we decided? Who is going to do what and by when? How can we resolve the issues we have agreed upon today? Also, wherever possible, any potential distractions should be removed from meetings, ie, no mobile phones! The takeaway: mindfulness at work Our workplaces are full of distractions that take our attention away from the job at hand. But research suggests that by being more mindful at work we can boost our productivity and reduce stress levels. If you regularly practice the mindfulness at work tips printed above, you should hopefully feel the benefits! ● Main image: shutterstock/pathdoc You might be interested in our other interviews around work. Watch Bodhin Philip Woodward on the impact of mindfulness and compassion in daily life, and our chat with the organizers of co-founders of the summit, Liz Hall and Luis San Martin. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Anger management | Resilience | Leadership Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness.com magazine, as well being an artist and travel lover. He also loves hiking, nature, swimming, yoga, sweaty dancing, and all things vintage!

Repetitive self-critical talk is torturous and wreaks havoc on your mental health. From quieting your inner critic to redefining failure and success, Dee Marques shares seven techniques to help you stop beating yourself up and start loving yourself – mistakes included. "I can’t believe I messed that up again. Why do I always do this?" "I should have known better. What’s wrong with me?" "I’ll never get it right. I’m such a failure. I hate my life." Does any of this negative, 'beating yourself up' talk sound familiar? Many of us have a harsh inner critic that spends a lot of time and energy replaying past mistakes and setting impossible standards. Beating yourself up can impact your self-worth, confidence and overall mental well-being. Although our inner critic likes to think it’s acting to push ourselves to be better, constant self-criticism rarely leads to growth. Let's explore why we mentally torture ourselves this way, how this pattern affects our lives, and how to stop beating yourself up. Different ways we beat ourselves up There are different ways we give voice to our inner critic. Self-criticism can appear as: Overgeneralisation "I always mess things up" or "It’s never good enough" Black-or-white thinking "If I’m not perfect, I’m worthless" Ruminating over mistakes "If only I'd said this instead" Catastrophising "This mistake will ruin my everything for me now" Constant comparison "Look how far ahead they are compared to me" Taking responsibility for negative outcomes "If I had tried harder, this wouldn’t have happened" or "It’s all my fault" Dismissing achievements and positive outcomes "Yes, but anyone could have done this, it’s not a big deal." This type of maladaptive perfectionism has been linked to a higher chance of experiencing severe stress, anxiety, and depressive disorders, in addition to weakening our coping abilities. Learning how to silence your inner critic is essential Why do we beat ourselves up? So, why do we do beat ourselves up and torture ourselves so with self-critical chatter? Why is it so easy to be our own worst critic? Firstly, there may be something of an evolutionary survival instinct involved. Our brains are wired to focus on threats, which can lead to the idea that “only the strongest survive”. Upbringing and social conditioning also play a major role here. If growing up you learnt that love, self-worth, and approval were conditional on success or flawless performance, you may have internalised the belief that mistakes mean you are a failure. Studies confirm that unhealthy perfectionism is a learned behaviour passed on from parents, relatives, peers, teachers, etc. Moreover, a world that glorifies success and perfection – especially in social media – can condition us to believe that being tough on ourselves with self-critical talk is the only way to meet ever-increasing standards. At the same time, these cultural and social pressures make us feel like we’re constantly falling behind. “Why do we do beat ourselves up? There may be an evolutionary survival instinct involved. Our brains are wired to focus on threats, which can lead to the idea that 'only the strongest survive'.” Indeed, a recent study from the University of Bath focused on college students in the USA found that more recent generations of college students reported significantly higher levels of perfectionism compared to earlier generations. Focused on millennials graduating between 1989 and 2016, the authors found an increase in three types of perfectionist traits in the more recent graduates, ranging between 10% and 33%. And lastly, the more we repeat these patterns, the more ingrained they become, until self-criticism feels like the only way we know how to talk to ourselves. This activates or perpetuates shame and guilt cycles, making it harder to see the pattern for what it is (a form of self-punishment) and to break free from it. This is why learning how to stop beating yourself up is so important for emotional resilience and self-worth. How to stop beating yourself up: 7 ideas The good news is, just as you learned to be self-critical, you can also reverse it by learning how to stop beating yourself up. Understanding why we fall into this negative habit is the first step. Here are seven other steps you can try. 1. Redefine your perception of responsibility and mistakes People with a tendency to beat themselves up are typically highly responsible and growth-oriented. But does being responsible mean that you can’t make mistakes? This is an all-or-nothing perception that actually hurts your ability to improve and grow. Don't beat yourself up; instead: Remind yourself that you can take responsibility without going straight into shame and blame whenever you make a mistake. Stop beating yourself up: self-criticism achieves nothing 2. Notice (and quiet) your inner critic Carry a notebook or use a journaling app and write down every time you notice your inner critic speaking. This can help you separate yourself from that shadow part of your personality and be more aware of its harmful internal dialogue. Don't beat yourself up; instead: Practise detachment from self-critical internal dialogue to avoid magnifying it. 3. Redefine failure and success Do you have rigid definitions of success and failure? If so, it might be time to challenge them. Sometimes, our definitions of success and failure are like a rigid container: they can’t accommodate growth, because instead of adapting and expanding, they break due to how inflexible they are. “Don't beat yourself up. Instead, remind yourself that you can take responsibility without going straight into shame and blame whenever you make a mistake.” It’s also worth taking some time to explore where do your criteria for failure and success come from. Are they really yours, or did you “inherit” them from others during your childhood? You can then come up with alternative definitions, like “success is not about perfection; it’s about progress” or “failure isn’t the end of the road; it’s a step in the ladder of growth”. Don't beat yourself up; instead: Ask yourself “What if I allowed failure to be a teacher rather than a punishment?” MORE LIKE THIS: Perfectionism and Anxiety: 7 Ways to Cope Why What Other People Think of You is Really None of Your Business Self-Validation: 5 Ways to Develop It 4. Ask yourself how is this helping you Be honest: What does beating yourself up achieve? Does self-criticism actually help you improve, or does it make you feel stuck? If this habit is not serving you and actually ruins your mood, it’s time to replace it with happier and healthier habits. Don't beat yourself up; instead: Commit to increasing the level of joy in your life. 5. Break the cycle of shame Shame is deeply linked to self-criticism, and can become a toxic emotion enmeshed into a cycle of self-doubt, resentment and disappointment. Breaking this cycle starts with recognising that your worth is not defined by your perceived failures. Don't beat yourself up; instead: Stop dwelling on what went wrong and focus on how you can move forward with self-respect. 6. Cultivate self-forgiveness Embracing forgiveness is essential in the process of learning how to stop beating yourself up. But sometimes, it’s easy to forget that we need to be forgiving with ourselves and not just with others. Consider creating a small ritual, like writing yourself a letter of forgiveness or simply saying out loud: I forgive myself. I am doing my best, and that is enough. Don't beat yourself up; instead: Explore different ways of practising self-forgiveness. Self-forgiveness is one step towards loving yourself, warts and all! 7. Practise compassion and acceptance Self-compassion doesn’t mean making excuses for yourself (in case your inner critic is saying so as you read this!). Being compassionate means treating yourself with the same kindness and patience you would offer a loved one, without making distinctions. At the same time, self-acceptance doesn’t mean giving up on growth, but rather understanding that you are worthy through the entire process of growth. Don't beat yourself up; instead: Remember that real growth happens when we acknowledge mistakes with self-compassion instead of self-condemnation. Takeaway: don't beat yourself up If you’ve spent years being hard on yourself, this self-critical tendency won’t change overnight. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that being kind to yourself means being irresponsible or too soft. The way you speak to yourself matters, and every time you choose self-compassion over self-criticism, you take a step toward inner peace. So, the next time your inner critic starts to take over, remind yourself that you are human, just like everyone else. And instead of beating yourself up, ask yourself: how would I treat someone I love in this situation? There’s a lot of freedom, joy, and growth in moving away from self-criticism and self-punishment. Are you ready to experience that? ● Images: shutterstock/PoporLing, shutterstock/DimaBerlin, shutterstock/Perfect Wave happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Gratitude | Lemonading | Compassion | Keys to Happiness Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Interviewer Veronika Eicher still had the distant flavor of raisins in her mouth – from finishing the 'raisin meditation' on Dave Potter’s MBSR course – when the pair sat down to talk. She asked him about his background in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, the motivation behind his free course, dealing with chronic pain, and meditation. When was the last time you ate mindfully? Dave Potter, fully-certified Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) instructor and retired psychotherapist, laughs before answering: “Well, it’s all a matter of degree. Even though I'm a mindfulness teacher, there are times when I’m not eating very mindfully. For instance, last night my wife and I talked continuously through dinner, and I was not at all mindful of what I was eating. In a previous life as a marketing manager at Intel, many of our meetings were over meals and we were expected to do business and eat at the same time. I used to tell people that I didn’t progress any higher than I did on Intel’s corporate ladder because I never learned to eat and talk at the same time.” Although Dave didn’t stay at Intel for long, he spent over 20 years in the computer industry, first as a free-ance computer consultant and later founding a software company that grew to a dozen employees and customers all over the world. At age 51, although he loved technology, he came to realize that he was far more interested in people than computers, and he went back to school to get a graduate degree in counseling and became a psychotherapist. It was then that he started teaching mindfulness, which led me to my next question: How did you first get to know MBSR? “I found MBSR about the time I began working as a therapist, but I was not new to meditation, having meditated since I was in high school. Even though I was already a long-term meditator and didn’t think I had much to learn, after taking a training class from Jon Kabat-Zinn, I was impressed with MBSR and how teachable it was. MBSR, as Jon Kabat-Zinn taught it, is neither full of esoteric terms, nor religious. Instead, the language Jon used was so simple that wasn’t until Dave saw Jon teach the MBSR course that he understood the tremendous power of MBSR and this particular way of teaching meditation. “The language is very simple: ‘Pay attention to your experience while you are having it’, but embedded in the MBSR course was such depth and meaning that I wanted to share it with others, so I became certified to teach by the University of Massachusetts Medical School, where Jon Kabat-Zinn founded MBSR,” Dave explained. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged Eating mindfully can be one of many daily opportunities to practice mindfulness Many people take the course to reduce the level of stress in their lives. You say that when you tell new students that they will need to dedicate 30 minutes a day to meditation, they often say: “Where will I find the time? This will make me more stressed, not less!” Isn’t that ironic? “In the beginning, many people do feel that it is more stressful, that’s true. This is because they are now paying closer attention to what is happening inside them, and they have begun to notice things that were there all along, but under the surface. But, typically, after about three or four weeks, things settle down. What most people discover by that point is that although their day is technically 30 minutes shorter, the rest of the day is more productive and much less stressful than it was before. So people do see the fruits of the practice, but often not until three or four weeks into the course. That's one of the reasons the course is eight weeks long and not three.” Discover more about Dave Potter's free MBSR course What can participants of the course expect to happen? “At first, it feels as if nothing is happening. You sit in meditation, your mind wanders, you pull it back, your mind wanders again, you pull it back again, and on and on, in a seemingly endless cycle. It looks like nothing productive is happening. But there is magic in this process that is not at all apparent while it’s happening. The point of the meditation is not to stop thoughts, but to change your relationship to them, and the critical place in which that relationship can change is when you notice your mind has been wandering. What people typically say in the beginning is, “I’m no good at this, my mind is wandering all the time, I can’t do this.” They're frustrated that they can’t get their mind to stay in one place and beat themselves up about it. But it's not about keeping the mind in one place: it's about what happens in that moment when you discover that you mind has wandered. It’s about accepting that fact and being kind to yourself at that moment.” RELATED: 9 science-backed benefits of meditation Jack Kornfield often tells a story about training a puppy to fetch. In the beginning, you throw the stick and the puppy doesn’t bring it back. But you don’t give up, and you throw the stick many, many times until finally, almost unexpectedly, the puppy brings the stick back to you. At that point you don’t say, “Bad dog!! Why didn’t you bring the stick back before now?!?”. You say, “GOOD BOY!!! GOOD JOB!” and give the puppy a treat. This encourages the puppy to do it again and strengthens your good relationship with your puppy. “It’s the same with our mind. We train our students to recognize that those moments when they notice their mind has wandered are moments of awakening. These moments of awakening are cause for celebration, not self-criticism. Every single time you notice your mind has been wandering, you have just broken a life-long habit. This is what we aim for in our meditation.” Train your meditative mind like a puppy: with patience and treats! I must admit, I thought that when you meditate long enough – perhaps like you as a life-long meditator – that at some point your mind doesn’t wander anymore. Is that incorrect? “It’s not true that advanced meditators have learned to stop their thoughts entirely. Eliminating thoughts is actually not the goal of this type of meditation. Thinking is not a function we aim to eliminate. We need thinking to plan, to organize, to build, to create. Thoughts are important, but they are not the most important aspect of our experience, and, in fact, the thoughts we do have are often untrue or misleading. Tara Brach often says, ‘thoughts are real, but not true.’ RELATED: Tara Brach – psychologist, meditation author and teacher It’s true that there are types of meditations designed to perfect concentration but this type of meditation, when combined with a single-minded goal of achieving states of absorption and bliss, don’t address the realities of day-to-day life. There's a story about a monk who goes up to a mountain cave to meditate in isolation. After years of practice, he perfects his concentration to the point where he is in almost continuous bliss and decides he is ready to come down from the mountain. Five minutes after arriving to town, one of the vendors at the market makes an insulting comment and he blows up in anger, seemingly undoing his years of practice in just moments. “People do see the fruits of MBSR, but often not until three or four weeks into the course. That's one of the reasons the course is eight weeks long and not three.” The type of meditation taught in MBSR includes both concentrative meditation and a more open-ended meditation that can be accessed in the midst of daily life, in which the meditator is fully aware of what’s happening around him and in him, on a moment-to-moment basis.” Your MBSR instructor: Dave Potter Dave Potter and I are talking more about the power of our minds. He shares the example of a Buddhist monk, Matthieu Ricard, who's had 50,000 hours of meditation practice over 30 years (that’s five hours a day – every day!) and who has been extensively studied by psychologists and neuroscientists. Paul Ekman, a University of California psychologist, suspected that Ricard would have a very low “startle response”, which has been shown to correspond to anxiety; the more anxious a person is, the stronger the physiological response to being startled. In this laboratory test, the subject is wired up to instrumentation and the physiological response to a very loud sound, similar to a gun-shot, is measured. When Ekman tested Ricard, he had to do it a second time because he couldn’t believe what his instruments were telling him about Ricard’s reaction. Ricard’s physiological response was lower than any subject he’d ever tested. In fact, it was lower than medical science had up to that point thought possible. When he asked Ricard how he did that (expecting he would say he brought his attention to a single point and blocked everything else out), Ricard said he did the opposite – he said that instead of narrowing his attention, he widened it, imagining himself to be as big as the universe, so large that it could easily absorb any sound or disturbance. He said he heard the sound very clearly, but it wasn’t bothersome to him due to his having widened his perspective to include and accept absolutely everything that came into awareness. Could this technique also be a way that MBSR participants learn to deal with discomforting feelings or chronic pain? By imagining the biggest pain and experience as less painful within the practice? The course doesn’t eliminate pain. For instance, people who have a chronic pain condition have typically tried everything and there is nothing doctors can prescribe that is safe that would eliminate the pain. In the MBSR course we aren’t working on eliminating the pain, but changing our relationship to it. We teach our students to work with difficult emotions and physical pain in a paradoxical way, something we introduce in Week 5, in a practice called “Turning Towards”. Students learn through this practice, building on skills they’ve learned in the first four weeks, that they can be with difficult feelings or sensation without being alarmed. RELATED: Mindfulness quotes – 10 sayings to inspire and ground you In the case of chronic pain, instead of trying to make it go away, which of course doesn't work, we ask students to get curious about it. Without labeling the discomfort as “pain”, we have them investigate the actual physical sensations. For instance, is it sharp or throbbing, large or small, precisely where is it located, what are its boundaries? By examining it closely, in a curious, non-fearful way, they discover that their “pain” is not a static thing, that their experience of it shifts when they're curious about it in this way. “Through MBSR we aren’t working on eliminating the pain, but on changing our relationship to it.” Then, after exploring the difficult area, we ask them to move their attention to a part of the body that is relatively relaxed, and stay there for a moment, noticing what kind of sensations they have there, maybe warmth or softness, or simply freedom from pain. This can look like we’re asking them to distract themselves, but we are simply having them shift attention to another part of their body, one that is actually connected to the difficult area. Then, after spending a few minutes there, they go back to the difficult area, and back and forth. By doing this a few times, the students experience the discomfort as only part of them, and that it’s not fixed and unchangeable. In this way, the student learns to see and experience the difficult area in a larger context, similar to the way that Matthieu Ricard did with the loud sound in the “startle” test. So, in that sense, it is a widening of awareness and perspective that makes the pain less difficult. Probably the most gifted and skilled meditation teacher for dealing with chronic pain is Vidmayala Burch. She is founder of Breathworks in the UK and understands chronic pain because she has dealt with serious, debilitating pain she has had her entire adult life, including now. She is a gifted teacher and role-model for those dealing with chronic pain. Vidyamala often uses pillows to demonstrate how we compound physical (or emotional) pain with fear and worry, having a student sit in the center of the room with a pillow on their lap, saying that the pillow represents the physical pain, the difficult sensations themselves (or problematic life event). Then, on top of this pillow, another is added, representing a fear or worry they have about the pain, such as the fear that the pain will get worse. Then they add another, maybe about the worry that if it keeps up they won’t be able to work and support themselves, and another, and another, each one representing a specific worry or fear, until the pillows are stacked so high they are higher than the student’s head. Then Vidmayala would ask them to remove the pillows of worry and fear one by one, letting go of each one until all that remains in their lap is the first pillow representing the actual physical sensations. That pillow is still there, but much less troublesome than it was when buried under all the other pillows of fear and worry that were added to the actual physical pain (or problematic life event). Pillow practice for pain: MBSR was originally designed for pain patients The 'Pillow Practice' with Vidyamala Burch was mind-opening for me, as a chronic pain patient. Is this what mindfulness is about? Exactly. Being mindful is about realizing what is actually happening as well as noticing that we are compounding the situation with our fears and worries. In Buddhist terms you would say there is the first arrow which is the difficulty itself and the second arrow is all the worries and fears we have about that. We can’t always do anything about the first arrow, but the second arrow that is magnifying the difficulty can be removed. You were one of the first teachers to provide us with your MBSR course for free in our happiness academy and you also provide the course on your website palousemindfulness.com free of charge. What was your motivation for this? “There are a couple of answers to that. The first is: “Why not?”. The fact that I can even say this is because I’m retired and don’t need extra income and because of the efficiencies and reach of the internet. But, most importantly, I knew there are people who cannot afford to pay for a mindfulness course, and in many parts of the world there is no access to an in-person MBSR class. My intention was to make mindfulness as widely available as possible, no matter what the financial situation or geographic location. I’m fortunate that this is also the intention of most of the other teachers of mindfulness, even those who are well-known and can command high fees for their teaching. World-renowned mindfulness teachers such as Jon Kabat-Zinn, Vidyamala Burch and Tara Brach have given me their written permission to use their videos and writings without any fee so that mindfulness can be more widely available. “The course does not make life perfect. It's about being at peace with not feeling peaceful.” As a former psychotherapist, it makes me happy to know that, through the Palouse Mindfulness course, people are being helped. Every day, I get letters from people who say the course has changed their lives. As a retired therapist whose work was about helping people, what could be better? RELATED: Meditation vs mindfulness – what's the difference? The course does not make life perfect. It’s not about being peaceful all the time. Not even the Dalai Lama is peaceful all the time. It's about being at peace with not feeling peaceful. When I hear from my students that this is what they’ve learned and that they are happier and more resilient than they were before, this is worth more to me than any monetary compensation.” Finally, do you still meditate on a daily basis? “I do. I’ve had a few periods in my life when I didn’t maintain a formal sitting practice, figuring that if I just lived my life mindfully, letting 'life' itself be my meditation, that would be enough. While that might be true, in principle, because any experience can be made into a mindful experience, during those periods without a formal practice, much of my life wasn’t very mindful. So, about 30 years ago, after being an on-again, off-again meditator, I committed to a regular, daily meditation practice of half an hour every morning and haven’t stopped since, except for a handful of days during that 30-year period. I don’t meditate to have some peace experience while I’m meditating, although that can be pleasant; I do it because of how it affects the rest of my day. My morning meditation creates a resilience and aliveness during the rest of the day that wouldn’t be there if I didn’t have this practice. My morning practice is actually fairly simple, similar to what in Soto Zen is called “zazen” or “just sitting”, a time that I don’t have to be anywhere else or doing anything else, a time that is just for me. Years ago, when my daughter was young, we took a parenting course from Barbara Coloroso and at the end of the course, she said, “I want you to spend 30 minutes a day with the person you are going to be with for the rest of your life with… and I don’t mean your spouse, because they may go before you. I mean you.” ● Thank you Dave, for the talk and for your work. Enroll here for the free MBSR course at the happiness academy. And don't forget to join in the MBSR course discussion in the forum: share your experiences and ideas with other members. Watch the full interview with Dave Potter: Interview by Veronika Eicher Veronika is a freelance writer. She likes to spend her free time working on her dream of a farm. On Instagram she writes about climate crises, nature and sustainable living.

Research on mindfulness apps is limited, but here's what we know so far. By Kira M. Newman on behalf of the Greater Good Science Center. Want to feel more Calm, get some Headspace, and practice Mindfulness Daily? There are apps for that — hundreds of them, besides the three I just mentioned. These apps make a promise: rather than investing countless hours and dollars in mindfulness classes or mindfulness-based therapy, we can choose to meditate from the comfort of our smartphones. Users are flocking to mindfulness apps in hopes of cultivating kind attention to their own thoughts and feelings, and of reaping the mental and physical benefits that go along with mindfulness. But do they work? What does science say about mindfulness apps? Research began in earnest only about four years ago, and studies are indeed pointing to potential benefits for our stress, emotions, and relationships. The findings may not be as conclusive as app marketers would have you believe — but they do suggest you should at least consider trying one. Digital stress reduction Much of the research so far involves the popular mindfulness app Headspace, which has attracted 20 million users across 190 countries since its launch in 2012. The app’s meditations are voiced by Headspace founder and former Buddhist monk Andy Puddicombe, starting with simple breathing and body scan practices. “Users are flocking to mindfulness apps in hopes of cultivating kind attention to their own thoughts and feelings.” In one 2018 study, researchers tested Headspace with 70 adults. All the participants started by answering surveys about their positive and negative feelings, their stress, and their irritability in the past week. Then, over the course of a month, half the group completed ten introductory sessions on Headspace, while the other half listened to excerpts from Puddicombe’s audiobook about mindfulness and meditation without any guided practice. Afterward, the meditation group was faring much better. According to a second round of surveys, they felt (on balance) more positive emotions and less burdened by external demands, responsibilities, and pressure than the audiobook listeners. These changes happened after just 100 minutes of practice. “This is great news for people that are curious about mindfulness but are worried about having to invest hours and hours of time before seeing any benefits,” says lead author Marcos Economides, who (along with his coauthors) was employed by Headspace at the time of the study. “Such early benefits could provide motivation for casual users to develop a more long-term mindfulness practice.” Do mindfulness apps work? © shutterstock/TeodorLazarev Stress is also biological, leaving an imprint on our bodies that can lead to health problems later in life. Could mindfulness apps affect stress at this level, too, not just in our minds? In another recent study, researchers tested this question while also trying to figure out which aspects of mindfulness education are most crucial. They recruited 153 adults to practice for 20 minutes a day, splitting them up into three groups. One group practiced the mindfulness skill of monitoring, which involves detecting and distinguishing between different sensations in your body. RELATED: The 5 best happiness apps to improve well-being A second group learned monitoring and acceptance, the ability to stay relaxed, welcome thoughts and feelings in your mind, and gently acknowledge them. A third group learned coping skills, like seeing the positive in negative situations and analyzing personal problems. These newfound skills were put to the test at the end of two weeks. In an infamous laboratory experiment, participants had to give a five-minute speech and do math out loud while trained observers gave critical feedback, pointed out errors, and generally exuded coldness and judgment. All the while, the participants wore a cuff to monitor their escalating blood pressure and gave periodic saliva samples that would be analyzed for cortisol, a hormone released in response to stress. “Stress is also biological, leaving an imprint on our bodies that can lead to health problems. Could mindfulness apps affect stress at this level, too, not just in our minds?” Contrary to the first study, participants in the three groups didn’t perceive their stress to be different — after giving a speech or doing tricky subtraction, they all felt similarly anxious and insecure. But their bodies told another story: Here, only the group that had learned monitoring and acceptance had lower systolic blood pressure during the task and lower cortisol afterward. “This study was the first to show that a brief two-week mindfulness training app can change a person’s biological response to stress,” says lead author Emily K. Lindsay, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Pittsburgh. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips to stay present When we learn acceptance, she and her colleagues explain, we may be better able to acknowledge but disengage from difficult experiences — like cringe-worthy judgment from others. This study suggests that the benefits of mindfulness aren’t just from improved attention, but from the gentle, nurturing attitude we cultivate toward ourselves. Mindfulness apps under the microscope Less stress isn’t the only outcome we can hope to achieve through our digital contemplative practice. In 2017 researchers conducted one of the only studies that compared a mindfulness app with a traditional, in-person mindfulness class. Here, nurses in residency listened to Headspace meditations or attended a class once a week for four weeks. Ultimately, the app users improved their mindfulness skills — in particular, their ability to act with awareness and not overreact to their thoughts and feelings. They also felt less fatigue and burnout in their caregiving role, compared to class attendees. Several studies have compared participants who used Headspace to those who used another beneficial app, like the brain-training app Lumosity, the organizational app Catch Notes, or a web app with logic problems. After training for 10-20 minutes a day for 10-30 days, Headspace users reduced their mind-wandering, boosted their positive emotions, reduced their symptoms of depression, and became kinder and less aggressive compared to other app users. In one study, though, Headspace didn’t seem to improve people’s satisfaction with life, flourishing in life, or negative feelings. “There is still a lot we don’t understand about how mindfulness works, and how much mindfulness practice is needed for certain benefits to emerge,” Economides says. Mind the app: mindfulness technology © shutterstock/Dean Drobot Another question for future research is how long any benefits last. One of the few studies with a follow-up did have promising results: Compared to participants on a waiting list, people who used the VGZ Mindfulness Coach app for eight weeks — which features a variety of breathing, body scan, visualization, and mantra meditations — became more mindful, showed fewer symptoms of psychiatric disorders, and boosted their quality of life up to four months later. RELATED: Does meditation really work? Here's what science says Meditation apps aren’t just a boon for consumers hoping to learn how to be more present at an affordable price. If effective, they also have implications for workplaces, schools, and even nations, who want to cultivate happier and healthier communities. This is where research on which apps are beneficial, and why, is particularly important. “It's vital that we understand the potential benefits of engaging with such apps, and how these compare to programs that are taught in-person, if we are to have the greatest impact on people’s well-being,” says Economides. ● Main image © shutterstock/Alexander Image Do you use mindfulness apps? Which ones? Let the happiness.com community know what you think of them... Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. Happiness.com is honoured to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu

Living our lives to the fullest begins with what's already here. These seven mindfulness tips from Dee Marques will help you to stay engaged and transform routine activities into satisfying snapshots of life. Have you ever felt that sometimes we simply go through our lives instead of living them to the fullest? Today it's common to live surrounded by distractions that make staying engaged hard, forcing us instead to continually move on to the next thing and overlook present experiences. Incorporating mindfulness through these mindfulness tips will help you to stay engaged throughout your day and enjoy the present moment. Indeed, staying mindful and finding pleasure and fulfillment in everyday things can make a considerable contribution to your overall happiness. Before exploring our tips, let's examine exactly what mindfulness is. The dictionary describes mindfulness as: “The state or quality of being mindful or aware of something” and “a technique in which one focuses one's full attention only on the present, experiencing thoughts, feelings, and sensations but not judging them.” With that in mind, here are seven tips for mindfulness to help you turn routine tasks into enriching daily activities. Read on if you’re ready to increase your awareness, boost your connection with own emotions, and improve your chances of staying engaged throughout the day. Mindfulness tips: 7 tips for staying engaged 1. Start-of-the-day ritual Cultivating enriching daily activities as soon as you start your day is crucial to your levels of engagement and well-being. Instead of waking up and getting on with your day on auto-pilot, why not create a ritual that increases your chances of staying engaged? After waking up, don't reach for your phone and scroll through social media. Instead, do some gentle stretching and notice your body getting ready for a new day. Acknowledge your gratefulness for a good night's rest that allows you to tackle whatever lies ahead. As you prepare your tea or coffee, take a minute to check in with yourself. Pay attention to physical sensations: is your body tense or relaxed? How are your energy levels? Are you hungry or thirsty? Mornings are also the perfect time to incorporate other mindfulness tips such as mindful eating or showering. Bend to mend: morning stretching is a great mindfulness tip 2. Mindful showering Talking of which! Showering is a peaceful way of starting or ending the day, as it allows you to gain an appreciation for your body and to be grateful for having the opportunity to look after yourself. As you stand under the water, do a “body scan” from head to toe and take note of any bodily sensations and your feelings. The warm water, the aroma of your favourite shower gel, and a gentle massage are treats to the senses that would be a pity to overlook. RELATED: Do Mindfulness Apps Work? Taking note of these micro-moments can help you stay anchored in the present and counter the go-go-go mindset. In the shower, it's easier to realise when your mind wanders into the past or future. Use this mindfulness tip to realize when this happens while taking a shower and gently bring the mind back to the present moment. Shower power: stay engaged through mindful showering 3. Gratitude walks and walking meditation Having a busy life doesn't mean you can't enjoy the benefits of meditation. Simply walking and noticing all those things you have reasons to be grateful for is a way of staying engaged with the most meaningful aspects of your life. For example, you can notice your legs and feet taking you forward, a ray of sunshine helping support life all around you, or the different colours of objects or plants bringing variety and making life more interesting. “Mornings are the perfect time to incorporate mindfulness tips such as mindful eating or showering.” To practice walking meditation, find a space where you can walk undisturbed and start walking while focusing on each movement. Lifting a foot, putting it in front of the other, placing your feet on the ground, noticing how your body weight shifts as you walk, listening to your breathing, etc. This can help slow down your mind and sharpen your self-awareness. RELATED: How Connecting With Nature Benefits Our Well-Being As if that wasn't enough, walking itself is a beneficial physical activity that can help maintain a healthy weight and decrease stress. Moreover, some scientific studies have found that walking can strengthen the immune system and reduce the risk of developing breast cancer. And as you probably know, a healthy body feeds a healthy mind, and vice versa. 4. Mindful eating We all have to eat, but our busy schedules often make us rush through our meals leading to all sorts of ailments, from poor digestion to weight gain. To avoid this, practice mindful eating by engaging all your senses in a conscious exercise of appreciation. Try this mindfulness tip on eating a raisin: Take a raisin and hold it in your hands, imagining you’ve never seen one before. Use all your five senses to examine it. Look at its every detail: colors, structure, shiny or dull – can you see through it? Touch it with closed eyes. Try to hear if it makes a sound if you squeeze it. Smell it. See if it smells differently depending on which nostril you use. Chew it slowly, noticing its texture and flavour. Take note of the feelings and thoughts it generates. This technique is a mindfulness-based stress reduction MBSR exercise aimed at improving your ability to focus on present experiences, increase attention levels, and boost enjoyment. Eat and engage: this mindfulness tip focuses on food 5. Mindful driving The daily commute can be a source of frustration and anger, but using this mindfulness tip can turn this routine into one of those enriching daily activities that increase your awareness. Before you start the engine, take a few moments to breathe deeply and state your intention to drive mindfully. Ensure your car is a distraction-free environment – like a cocoon that protects you from the noise outside – so put your phone on silent and don’t switch the radio on. “Staying mindful and finding pleasure and fulfilment in everyday things can make a considerable contribution to your overall happiness.” While driving, there will be situations that cause anger or anxiety, but all you need to do is acknowledge your feelings: remember that you have a choice not to let those negative emotions take over. Stay engaged and drive paying attention to your surroundings. In fact, try to see the streets as if it was the first time you were driving along them, and take every interruption (traffic lights, traffic jams, etc.) as a chance to check in with your sensory perceptions. 6. Mindful appreciation Staying engaged in the present and savouring everything life has to offer is hard when our appreciation is weak. To fix this, find four or five things (or people) that make your life easier or better. These could be small details like having drinking water flow as you open the tap or having a blanket to keep you warm and cosy when it gets cold. Make a mental note of those things, or even better, write them down while you ask yourself: What benefits does this bring to my life? What is special or unique about this thing/person? How would life be without them? How did they come to be? Using this mindfulness tip to stop and think will improve your appreciation for simple (and not-so-simple) everyday things and give you more reasons to feel blessed. Watch your wash: be mindful, even when doing the dishes! © Colourbox.com 7. Staying engaged with technology Technology can be a constant source of distraction and interfere with mindful practices, so it’s important to set boundaries and know when and how to use it. Mindfulness, different meditation styles and happiness apps and podcasts with uplifting content show that technology and gadgets can be beneficial, but making mindful use of technology is also a matter of changing your habits. For example, instead of reaching for your smartphone to take a picture of your food as soon as a plate is put in front of you, take some time to look at the food. Observe how it is presented, think about how it satisfies you, and about how much work has been put into making it reach your table. Likewise, instead of rushing to check your inbox every time a mail notification pops up on your screen, take a deep breath, pause, check in with yourself, and decide if it's worth responding now or later. RELATED: Mindful people are happier due to clearer authenticity Like all other positive emotions, everyday engagement has to be cultivated. Trying to incorporate these seven tips on mindfulness into daily tasks will bring you a collection of memorable thoughts and moments that enrich your life and make it more pleasurable. And, ultimately, these enriching daily activities will allow you to live your life to the full and not just go through it. ● Main image: shutterstock/lolostock happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Motivation | Keys to Happiness | Lemonading Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Finding it difficult to seek happiness from anything you do? Sonia Vadlamani explores the reasons why a loss of pleasure and motivation could signify an underlying mental health concern. Plus, she suggests seven ways to start rebuilding your happiness. Several of us find ourselves feeling down at some point in our lives, which could translate to feeling unmotivated, sad, stuck in life or at work, or just bored. However, if you keep thinking 'nothing makes me happy anymore' or 'what’s the point of life', as well as being unable to take delight in anything in your life, it could be that you are actually in a state of deep depression (perhaps without even realizing it). Anhedonia, or the inability to derive joy or happiness from anything around us, is a common indication of an underlying mental health issue such as depression, post traumatic stress disorder, or anxiety. While this feeling mimics boredom, it is also coupled with lack of motivation on one’s behalf to try anything, as nothing seems to matter to anymore, and there is no reward or pleasure to be derived from the action. In fact, it’s estimated that for those living with anhedonia, the regions in the brain that are usually associated with reward anticipation or interest are inflamed. This inflammation causes a dopamine imbalance in the brain, which makes one indifferent to the outcome of any event or situation. Why nothing makes you happy anymore It’s important to know that anhedonia – or the distinct sensation that nothing makes you happy – could also be a symptom of a situational depressive episode and need not be characterized as clinical depression. “It's something a lot of people experience, at least at one point in their lives,” states Dr Miranda Nadeau, a licensed psychologist based in Austin, Texas. Anhedonia can be defeated with consistent effort, but first you may need to pinpoint the underlying causes, so that they can be remedied. There are several plausible reasons why you may not find anything interesting or enjoyable anymore: Feeling burned out and exhausted Feeling easily irritable, being sleep-deprived for a long duration and constant lethargy are some of the symptoms associated with burnout. The most usual form of this healthcare issue is seen in the form of workplace burnout, wherein people work through prolonged hours under immense stress, or carry out a wide range of responsibilities without sufficient breaks or rest. Loneliness and isolation can put us in a depressive state Loneliness While loneliness usually occurs in people who live alone or are isolated from others for extended period, a person can feel lonely even when they’re in a crowd. Loneliness as an emotional state takes root when we’re unable to form true connections with others around us. A constant sense of nothing making you happy within can signal loneliness, and the tendency to shut ourselves to the outside world might spiral us deeper into a depressive state, thus making it a vicious cycle. Boredom We often feel bored and uninspired because we’re wired to adapt to our circumstances – positive or negative – and after we get used to something, we tend to become indifferent to it and fail to derive any further 'happiness boost' from it. While this hedonic treadmill is a common phenomenon for most of us, sometimes this prolonged apathy or boredom towards life events can spiral towards substance abuse, addiction to unhelpful routines, self-harming behavior and even depression. • JOIN US! Sign-up to happiness.com and connect with our caring community • Depression If you’re feeling blue often and each new day begins with a sense of apprehension, or if activities that used to spark joy fail to evoke any emotion in you, this could indicate the start of a depressive episode. Depression is a complex condition, with both mental and physical symptoms. However, the good news is that once diagnosed, depression can be treated, making it possible for one to eventually lead a happy, fulfilling life. How to rebuild happiness: 7 steps While the inability to derive joy from anything is a reason for concern and should be addressed, it’s important to realize that others have been in the same shoes before you and have found their way to happiness once again. So, if you constantly think to yourself 'nothing makes me happy anymore', here are some ideas to help you gradually change this state of mind and feel happier. 1. Get sufficient rest Research reveals a strong link between troubled sleeping and depression, with sleeping disorders present in nearly 75 per cent of adults diagnosed with depression. Sleep disturbances can raise stress levels and anxiety, impacting one’s overall quality of life. “If you keep thinking to yourself 'nothing makes me happy anymore' or 'what’s the point of life', it could be that you are actually in a deep depression.” Indeed, following good sleep hygiene is essential for ensuring good overall health. Some effective sleep hacks include limiting your overall screen-time and consciously shutting all screens at least an hour before bed. Getting good-quality sleep on a regular basis is one of the surest ways to feel better again, according to research. 2. Consult a physician A persistent feeling that nothing makes you happy could also arise from an underlying medical condition or a sudden shift in your usual lifestyle. For example, those who spend more time indoors are likely to be deficient in vitamin D, which is associated with poor mood, depression and other mental disorders. Eating disorders and health conditions like hypoactive thyroid or iron deficiency can result in depressive symptoms and heightened anxiety as well. Talking to your doctor and getting the bloodwork and appropriate tests done can help eliminate these potential underlying conditions that could cause unhappiness. 3. Take care of your body Our food choices affect our mood and health, as revealed from the discovery of the gut-brain axis. Include lots of good mood foods like green vegetables, seeds and nuts, lean meats and prebiotics to improve your mental health and boost your happiness levels. Dehydration is also responsible for blocking the production of serotonin, potentially impairing our ability to think clearly and make us feel tired all the time, and hence it’s important to stay hydrated through the day. Furthermore, engaging in physical activity will also help combat that 'nothing makes me happy' feeling by releasing endorphins, a type of 'happiness hormone' which can boost our stress management abilities. Exercise releases happiness-boosting endorphins shutterstock/Rido In fact, regular exercise can change our brain, in addition to improving heart health and preventing diseases like diabetes. If you can’t access the gym, try mindful running or restorative yoga to introduce the element of mindfulness and relaxation to your daily exercise routine. Starting slow, setting small and realistic goals and being consistent can create noticeable improvements in the way you feel. 4. Re-configure what happiness means to you At this point, you may be ready to take a deeper glance into what elicits happiness for you and adding activities which may uplift your mood. When I find myself feeling unhappy with my life, I look around for clues as to what makes me happy in the first place, and whether I’ve been doing enough lately to achieve or reinstate that feeling. If there are obstacles that prevent you from picking up activities you once used to enjoy, try inculcating new activities that may interest you and help you feel less bored with life. While traveling to explore various cuisines and fitness pursuits are activities that generally keep me upbeat, I found it was connecting with nature in the form of gardening – even in a limited apartment space – that helped keep my spirits up through the stress and anguish I experienced around the COVID-19 pandemic. MORE LIKE THIS: What is Soul Loss and Retrieval? Healing Through a Shamanic Lens When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading! Feeling Blue or Clinically Depressed? The 4 Things You Should Look Out For Look for ways to incorporate awe in your life. Including 'expressive therapy', or creative expression in the form of making art, music, dance, writing or creative dialog can improve our ability to cope with emotional issues, while helping us form meaningful relationships with others with similar interests. 5. Meditate regularly A daily meditation routine and focusing on your breathwork can help to boost happiness levels, albeit over time and with steady practice. There are several types of meditation you could choose from, depending on the skills you wish to learn from meditation and convenience. “Research suggests that forming meaningful social connections can help you find your way back to happiness.” For example, gratitude meditation could help you bring attention to the good things in your life, enabling you to release negativity. Deep sleep meditation can improve your sleep quality and help you feel well-rested, rejuvenated, and ready to brave the next day with improved energy levels. 6. Reach out and connect “Oftentimes people experience anhedonia and other symptoms of depression when they feel their social connections are weak,” states Dr Nadeau. Research suggests that forming meaningful social connections can help you find your way back to happiness. Utilizing the power of friendships and positive communication is important for our overall life-satisfaction and well-being. RELATED: National Hug Day: 7 Reasons to Embrace More While intimate connections and close ties are important, even weak ties can impact us positively by providing stimulation and a fresh perspective, as researcher Karen Fingerman points out. Connecting with random strangers during the pandemic can help you and others feel less lonely and isolated, making the world around feel like a better place. 7. Talk to a mental health professional If none of these ideas are making you feel better and happier, it’s okay to seek professional help when you’re feeling defeated by life. Reaching out and talking to a specialist can help you take stock of your situation and pinpoint the inherent concerns that require addressing or cognitive reframing. Be it dealing with rejection or hurt, working on self-acceptance, or the need to devise work life balance, a therapist can help you process and resolve the underlying issues when you’ve had that 'nothing makes me happy' feeling for a prolonged period. Takeaway: nothing makes me happy Most of us tend to lose interest in things we used to enjoy at some point in our lives. However, anhedonia takes this inability to enjoy to its furthest limits, wherein one can’t seem to take delight in anything that once used to spark joy within them, such as food, conversations, music, travel, etc. If you find that nothing make you happy anymore, start by identifying and addressing the plausible underlying causes. Focus on getting your physical and mental health back on track and indulging in activities that you previously enjoyed or rejuvenate you now. Try to incorporate one or more happy habits into your routine to gradually combat your 'nothing makes me happy anymore' feeling. However, seeking professional help is essential if you’re struggling to reconnect with happiness on your own. • Main image: shutterstock/fizkes If you're experiencing any of the signs of depression make sure to reach out to your local mental health services. In the US, you can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline for free and confidential support. Use Lifeline Chat or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). In the UK, call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected] for a reply within 24 hours. You can also text “SHOUT” to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, or text “YM” if you are under 19. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Kindness | Motivation | Learning | Altruism Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Retirement should be a time for seniors to relax and enjoy themselves, but all too often stress and isolation get in the way. Own very own senior, Marilyn Coates-Lower, says keeping your mind and body active is key to a healthy retirement. As we age, some of us may find that life becomes more stressful rather than easier. As retirement grows nearer, we look forward to the changes that this will bring, often planning to do the many things that we never had time for during our busy working lives. However, ensuring you have a happy and healthy retirement isn't always straightforward. Indeed, according to Patrick J. Skerrett, Former Executive Editor of Harvard Health: “If we're not careful, retirement can bring about many health problems rather than contentment, and that we should look upon it as a ‘process rather than an event.'” Planning a healthy retirement Some of us will have planned carefully for when we retire and will remain financially secure, while others will suddenly face a huge drop in income. Naturally, this can limit what we can achieve. According to research carried out by Dr George E. Vaillant, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, there are several ways in which retired seniors – even those 80+ – can remain happy and healthy, attaining a rewarding lifestyle that doesn't require a high income level. These ways include: Making new friends When retiring from work, you may leave many of your friends behind, but building a new social network of like-minded, similarly aged people will prove to be good for both your physical and mental health. Joining clubs There are so many to choose from, including sports such as golf, swimming and tennis, ballroom dancing, walking and bridge. They will not only get you out of the house but also provide the opportunity to make new friends. Keeping your mind and body active Why not take up a new hobby, something you've always wanted to do? Gardening is a great work out and has many mental health benefits, too. Or you could learn a new language or take a new course, or maybe discover the healing power of pets. A dog will not only be a great companion but will also get you out walking and meeting people. All of these suggestions are not only enjoyable but also provide excellent stress relief, which will keep body and soul together and make for a happier and healthier retirement. We should make the most of every moment because, as this quote from Ausonius attains: “Let us never know what old age is. Let us know the happiness time brings, not count the years.” Indeed, every day is precious, and a happy and healthy retirement can be found in something as simple as journaling or talking to a friend. Flower power: gardening can lead to a healthier retirement Stress and how it affects senior health A handy factsheet produced by the American Psychological Association (APA) Office on Ageing and Committee on Ageing suggests that, if we're not careful, stress can affect us badly as we age – lowering the chance of a healthy retirement. The APA say that one of the simplest ways to remain healthy is to eat nourishing food – helping seniors to maintain a reasonable weight – and to take regular exercise. The APA explain that stress is being caused by our bodies responding to danger, releasing hormones into the bloodstream, which speed up the heart and increase the pulse rate: the ‘stress response’. They go on to explain that research has shown that too much stress will impair the immune system, decreasing our ability to fight off disease and mental health problems. It offers several stress relief tips for retiring seniors, including: Staying positive Avoid negative talk such as, “I’m too old”, or, “I can't do it anymore”. This type of talk will not help, and, while you may feel that doing nothing is your solution: think about what you can do instead. Staying focused Never feel helpless because, no matter how difficult something might seem, there's always a solution. Each problem is a test or challenge that will keep your mind active as you consider your options. Meditation Relaxation techniques, meditation and especially MBSR (meditation based stress reduction) have been developed to deal with stress based on techniques that have been around for centuries. According to Melissa Conrad Stöppler, MD, just ten minutes a day can help to control stress, reduce anxiety and contribute to improving cardiovascular health, which, in consequence, will make you healthier during your retirement years. Dr Stöppler goes on to say that meditative techniques were first pioneered in America during the 1970s by Harvard physician Herbert Benson. It has since gained acceptance worldwide, by both doctors and therapists, to be a valuable complementary therapy for symptom relief of many different illnesses. “When it comes to a happy and healthy retirement, here are several ways in which retired seniors can remain happy and healthy, with a rewarding lifestyle that does not require a high level of income.” Dr Stöppler states: “No matter how the relaxation state is achieved, the physical and emotional consequences of stress can be reduced through regular practice.” Stress relief, in this form, can also lead to happiness and inner peace. For a first glance at stress relieving meditation practices, try 'Mindfulness daily', an easy-to-follow course developed by Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield. Meditation and yoga can lower blood pressure and stress in seniors A happy and healthy retirement Every one of us will see retirement differently; how we use all this extra time that we suddenly have on our hands depends very much on individual circumstances according to Harvard Health Publications. They explain that, if your job has been tiring, boring or unrewarding, then retirement will come as a great relief. Whereas, those of us that have thoroughly enjoyed our work and thrived on the structured lifestyle will see retirement in an entirely different way; this in itself will require you to work harder to ensure you have a happy and healthy retirement. A couple who are happily married, or in a long-standing relationship, are far more likely to enjoy their retirement than someone whose home life is unstable. Healthy retirees will be looking forward to an active and rewarding time, whereas, those who are in bad health will not have this option. Whichever category you fit into, still keep as active as possible and keep your mind and body busy. Senior stress relief: seeking help One of the biggest stress relief tips offered by the fact sheet produced by the APA is to seek help before everything gets on top of you. Of course, when we talk about a healthy retirement, we are also referring to optimal mental health as a senior. Here are three ideas for achieving this: CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) This will explore and help to discover the underlying reasons for stress and contributes to change negative thoughts into positive ones. Supportive therapy Often a non-judgmental ear can help to justify why feelings of anxiety exist and to offer stress relief tips to introduce a more positive way of thinking. Relaxation training Related to meditation, it also includes education about stress and tension and how to achieve muscle relaxation. Fitness and friends: two great ways to stay healthy during retirement Stress relief: what you can do Dr Dossett recommends talking to loved ones or close friends, as well as visiting your doctor. Talking about problems that are stressing you can sometimes lead to a solution, but, healthwise, as Dr Dossett explains, your doctor will be able to check your blood pressure and recommend a healthy lifestyle change, particularly with diet; anti-depressants are also an option for the severely distressed. “Every one of us will see retirement differently; how we use this extra time that we suddenly have depends very much on individual circumstances.” He also states that one of the best stress relief tips is to focus on triggering exactly the opposite of the stress response – the relaxation response – through, as previously mentioned, MBSR, meditation or tai chi, yoga and deep breathing exercises. All of these will lower oxygen consumption and the heart and breathing rate, so reducing blood pressure and stress hormones, helping to maintain a much more positive outlook on life. As American actress Valerie Bertinelli so aptly said: “Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. There's going to be stress in life, but it's your choice whether you let it affect you or not.” Indeed, seniors can and will face issues around loneliness, health and potential cognitive impairment, but staying optimistic is essential. By trying out these stress relief tips for seniors, you can increase your chances of a happy and healthy retirement. Enjoy it – you deserve it! ● Main image: shutterstock/rawpixel.com Written by Marilyn Coates-Lower I am a free spirit who wakes up with a smile every morning. My life has been an adventure and, although now officially retired, I continue to work as a writer and proofreader. I live in a stunning part of Brittany, France together with my horse and cat, enjoying views of the woods that surround my house and across the valley to the village. By way of my experiences, I hope to inspire people, through my writing, to become more positive, happy and forward-thinking.

Meditation is so much more than a trendy ancient practice. In fact, it has many scientifically-proven health benefits. From stress relief to lowering anxiety, Calvin Holbrook looks at nine key advantages of developing a meditation practice. As the practice of meditation continues to grow in popularity in the West, so do the scientifically-proven benefits of doing it. In a world which can increasingly feel chaotic, more and more of us are turning to meditation as an antidote to a multitasking, distracted lifestyle. As a result, many of us are increasing both our mental and physical well-being through meditating. Meditation has its origins in prehistory. In fact, the earliest written records, the Vedas of ancient India, date from 1500 BC. As an umbrella term that covers a number of practices, there are many different styles of meditation. One of them is mindfulness meditation, where you focuses on the present moment and thoughts, emotions and sensations that arise. Another important type is loving-kindness meditation. This style derives from the Buddhist Vipassana tradition and focuses on universal love and compassion for others. Many people practice those forms today. Science now backs the health benefits of meditation – both mental and physical – that humans have instinctively understood for millennia. Mental health benefits of meditation These scientifically-proven benefits mean that meditation is regularly recommended as an alternative therapy for a diverse range of conditions, including: Stress Anxiety Depression Sleep difficulties Increasing happiness Promoting positive thinking Improving relationships Boosting cognitive abilities Science has also shown that regular meditation practice can improve the function and even change the structures of the brain. Hence its place in increasing the well-being and happiness of both individuals and wider society is assured. The physical benefits of meditation Scientists began to attempt to study the effects of meditation on the mind and the body during the 1950s. However, there are flaws in these early scientific approaches. More recent studies have used increasingly modern techniques such as EEG and fMRI to scan the brain before, during and after meditation, which allow the links between meditation and physiological and psychological bodily changes to be studied in depth. “The scientifically-proven benefits mean that meditation is highly recommended as an alternative therapy for a diverse range of conditions.” In 2013, a paper published by researchers at John Hopkins University identified 47 well-designed studies into meditation that had produced reliable results. Because of that, they concluded that meditation can be as effective as medication for some forms of depression and anxiety. Indeed, a growing body of science supports the benefits of meditation, so let's take a deeper look at nine of the key mental and physical health advantages of developing a regular meditation practice. 1. Stress relief Doctors are beginning to realise that stress is the root cause of many physical illnesses such as cardiovascular disease. One of the main benefits of meditating is to reduce stress and allow both the body and brain to relax deeply and effectively. Research on PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) patients shows that meditation works by: balancing the nervous system improving brain coherence restoring hormonal levels to a state of equilibrium There is plenty of other science-backed research that suggests that reduces stress is one key benefit of meditation. A two-month study focusing on mindfulness meditation found that it reduced the inflammation response caused by stress. Studies have provided scientifically-proven evidence that meditation helps people to cope better with stressful situations. A further study from 2014 of 1,300 adults showed that meditate may decrease stress, and, significantly, the benefits were most profound in those who had the highest stress levels to begin with. Stop stress: mindful meditation can beat this silent killer 2. Reduced anxiety It follows that lower stress levels through meditation will also lead to reduced anxiety. A 2012 study of almost 2,500 participants showed that a variety of different meditation strategies can help to reduce anxiety levels. Another eight-week study into mindfulness meditation also showed that participants reduced their anxiety levels. Moreover, the benefits of meditation extended to reducing symptoms of anxiety disorders, such as phobias, social anxiety, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, paranoid thoughts and panic attacks. RELATED: Panic attacks –12 tips on what to do when anxiety hits hard 3. Lowering heart disease risk High blood pressure is a recognised risk factor for coronary heart disease. A long-term study published in an AHA journal showed that the risk of patients suffering from cardiovascular conditions such as atherosclerosis, myocardial ischaemia and atherosclerosis, or dying or suffering a heart attack stroke was reduced by almost half – 48 per cent – when compared to a control group in a similar physical condition who did not meditate. The 2012 study from the Medical College of Wisconsin in Milwaukee concluded that twice-a-day Transcendental Meditation helped African Americans with heart disease reduce their risk of death, heart attack and stroke. Meditation also helped patients lower their blood pressure, stress and anger compared with patients who did not meditate and only attended health education classes. 4. Improving cognitive abilities Recent research with a group of participants aged between 55 and 75 demonstrated that mindfulness meditation techniques improve goal-directed visuospatial attention span. Furthermore, a 2014 review of various studies found that multiple meditation styles increased attention, memory and mental quickness in older volunteers. These studies suggest that meditation could have the power to offset age-related cognitive decline or potentially enhance cognitive function in older adults. 5. Reducing pain Science shows through research that those who meditate show a greater ability to cope with pain and can even experience a reduced sensation of pain. Indeed, one large study published in 2014 examined the effects of regular meditation in 3,500 participants. It concluded that one benefit of meditation was decreased complaints of chronic or intermittent pain. “Science has shown that regular meditation can actually boost the brain’s grey matter. It appears that we have the ability to grow our own happiness.” Another study from 2011 published in The Journal of Neuroscience found that participants that meditated showed increased activity in the brain centres that control pain while also reporting less sensitivity to pain. Some participants had received four days of mindfulness meditation training, while others had not. Researchers then used MRI scans to observe brain activity in the participants while they experienced a painful stimulus. 6. Improving sleep While in some ways the science of sleep remains a mystery, we do know that it is essential for our health and well-being. A 2015 study found that participants who meditated fell asleep sooner and stayed asleep longer, compared to those who didn't. The study compared two mindfulness-based meditation programs by randomly assigning participants to one of two groups – one that practiced meditation and one that didn't. Life's a beach: meditation has many health benefits 7. Stopping smoking Another health benefit of meditation is that it can make giving up smoking easier, therefore reducing the risk of smoking-related illnesses and health complaints. The effect of meditating regularly is cumulative, and as stress is reduced, so the impulse to smoke is lessened. One study of people meditating daily showed that 50 per cent had given up smoking two years into the research and another 30 per cent had significantly reduced their tobacco consumption. 8. Boosting happiness Studies at Kyoto University discovered that the precuneus area of the brain was larger in people who rated themselves as happy and upbeat than in those with a more negative outlook on life. Science has shown that regular meditation can actually boost the brain’s grey matter. It appears that we have the ability to grow our own happiness. Dr Wataru Sato furthermore says that now we understand that meditation increases grey matter in the precuneus, it will be possible to design scientifically-based programmes to grow a happier brain. 9. Improving the well-being and happiness of employees Contemplative practices such as mindfulness meditation and mindful or gratitude yoga can be helpful to business in boosting the happiness and health of their employees: a happy, healthy workforce is a key to the success of a company. After offering a mindfulness course to 600 of their employees, Transport for London found that 80 per cent had seen an improvement in their relationships and felt more relaxed, more than half felt happier at work, and 64 per cent experienced better sleep patterns. Another pay-off for the employer was that absentee rates due to sickness and stress dropped by a huge 71 per cent. Other benefits of meditation: a happier and healthier society By encouraging us to focus on the present, meditation calms us, empowering us to lead a happier life and to cope with any difficulties life presents. Science shows that meditation is not only an effective therapy for many common diseases but also helps individuals improve their levels of happiness, grow compassion for others and boost their own physical and mental health, leading to the development of a compassionate, thriving and resilient society. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Stress management | Burnout | What is vedic meditation? Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness.com magazine, as well being an artist and travel lover. He also loves hiking, nature, swimming, yoga, sweaty dancing, and all things vintage!

The global pandemic has made many of us re-evaluate our lives and ask ourselves what really makes us happy. If you want to continue the internal conversation, try reading some of the best books on happiness on the market. Ann Vrlak selects her top picks to inspire you further. While the worst part of the Coronavirus pandemic may be behind us, many of us are still reeling from its unprecedented and often heartbreaking disruption of our lives. Indeed, even moving forward, we’re not out of the woods yet, and ‘normal’ may not be a place we can – or should – return to. With so much uncertainty around us – and with some of us having extra time on our hands – I think discussing some of the best books on happiness is something we could all benefit from. Although living through the pandemic has been difficult, it has also provided the space and opportunity to explore what really makes us happy. Now the conversation has started, it's worth checking out some of these books on happiness to understand where joy comes from and how we can maintain it. Best books on happiness: our picks So, how do you define happiness? And has your definition changed over the last couple of years due to the limitations and stresses you’ve experienced? If you’d like help answering these questions and creating a better and brighter year ahead, here's my countdown of the best books on happiness that will help you explore the subject. 1. The Happiness Project | Gretchen Rubin So, this list of the best happiness books inevitably starts with the crazily popular The Happiness Project title which came out of one woman’s random thought on a bus: “I want to be happy.” Gretchen Rubin realized that, beneath all her goals in life, she just wanted to be happy. But, she also realized she didn’t actually know what made her happy! So, Rubin began a year-long happiness project to discover what made her happy and why. The result is a delightful read about Rubin’s day-to-day experiences over one year and how her understanding of happiness became increasingly simple, in spite of her busy and accomplished life. RELATED: Happiness podcasts – 8 that we rate Rubin talks about each month’s “happiness goal” – what she did, what she learned and how you can do the same. You can use her 12-month framework to create your own happiness project and discover more of your unique happiness formula for simple, happiness-generating activities. An engaging, heartwarming read. 2. Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill | Matthieu Ricard If you’d like to read one of the most enlightening books on happiness written by someone with a fascinating life path, try Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill. Matthieu Ricard grew up with philosopher and artist parents, amidst the intellectual and artistic circles of Paris. After earning a PhD in cell genetics, he discovered Buddhism, became a monk and has now lived in the Himalayan region for over 40 years. RELATED: The best books on meditation – our top picks Happiness… is the best known of Ricard’s many books that uses his deep understanding of meditation to describe how we unintentionally make ourselves unhappy. Importantly, he explains what we can do to uncover our innate happiness instead. Ricard has crafted simple lessons and exercises to apply his keys to happiness to your stressful situations, habits and beliefs that make you unhappy, and much more. 3. The Little Book of Hygge: The Danish Way to Live Well | Meik Wiking Some countries pride themselves on the happiness of their citizens, and Denmark, in particular, claims to be one of the happiest places on Earth. Many Danes believe the practice of hygge (pronounced hoo-guh) is their secret. Hygge doesn’t have a simple definition, but see if you can get a feeling for it from descriptions like this. It’s anything that gives comfort to your soul and allows you to let your guard down. It’s the deep peace you feel looking at the ocean with a loved one beside you. It’s a shared meal with your best friends or sharing a laugh with your child. All these experiences speak to simple, soul-satisfying moments that enrich your life and evoke the feeling, “Yes, this is enough. Just this.” “This beautifully designed book on happiness is full of inspiration for simple changes you can make to bring more joy into your life.” The Little Book of Hygge is written by Meik Wiking, CEO of the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen. This beautifully designed book on happiness is full of inspiration for simple changes you can make to bring more hygge and joy into your life. Wiking writes like he’s talking directly to you, sitting around a fire, sharing a perfect moment of hygge! 4. Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation: a 28-Day Program Paperback | Sharon Salzberg Sharon Salzberg is a pioneer in the field of meditation and mindfulness, bringing Buddhism to mainstream culture in practical, compassionate and lighthearted books, talks and retreats. Salzberg wants to demystify the practice of meditation and show its relevance to modern life – from day-to-day stresses to deep feelings of depression, disconnection and dissatisfaction. One of my many favourite quotes from this book on happiness is: “Mindfulness helps us get better at seeing the difference between what’s happening and the stories we tell ourselves about what’s happening, stories that get in the way of direct experience. Often such stories treat a fleeting state of mind as if it were our entire and permanent self.” RELATED: Finding happiness – 11 science-backed truths This 28-Day program will help you see some of your stories, and the clarity and happiness that lies in wait for you when you see through them. Real Happiness is full of down-to-earth inspiration, exercises and tips that will help you create your own transformative month of meditation. 5. The Little Book of Mindfulness: 10 minutes a day to less stress, more peace | Patricia Collard If mindfulness is new to you, The Little Book of Mindfulness is another wonderful way to dip your toe into mindfulness and happiness. Collard is a psychotherapist, mindfulness teacher and stress management expert who has put together a library of 5- and 10-minute practices to increase your happiness through reducing stress and negative thinking. RELATED: Mindful minutes – 10 small practices that make a big difference What I particularly like about this book on happiness is that there's no jargon in her definition of mindfulness or her explanations of how you can apply mindfulness practice to situations you face every day. As she says in the book, “Mindfulness is an attitude, rather than a skill.” Indeed, it’s not a complicated discipline you need to learn, you can start by approaching each moment with a mindful attitude. Collard’s exercises provide many ways to let go of stress, so you can rest in the simplicity and happiness present in each moment. 6. Meditation For the Love of It: Enjoying Your Own Deepest Experience | Sally Kempton This is another book on happiness that doesn’t look at meditation from the usual point of view of a “discipline.” Meditation For the Love of It shows you how to find joy in meditation and in yourself. And what could be a better motivator to explore meditation. Kempton’s book is a skillful explanation of how and why “loving yourself” is anything but an empty cliché. Not only accepting, but embracing all parts of your experience in meditation and in your daily life deepens your understanding of your strengths, your vulnerabilities and what truly makes you happy. RELATED: Discover self-love meditation Kempton teaches readers how to connect with the power of their deepest desires which she sees as the path to lasting happiness. Playfulness and devotion are the two attitudes indispensable to your journey of self-knowledge. The book includes over 20 practices to help you bring happiness, insight and self-acceptance into your life through meditation. 7. Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life | Jon Kabat-Zinn I’ve chosen this classic from Jon Kabat-Zinn as the ultimate best book on happiness because it is such a comprehensive, practical and compassionate look at the human condition: how and why we suffer, and how we can use simple, but potent practices to become happier. Kabat-Zinn is the creator of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program that has become the gold standard in evidence-based, mindfulness programs. RELATED: Best mindfulness books – our Top 10 picks In Wherever You Go, There You Are, the author explains in a non-pretentious style how small, everyday moments are the best places to understand what mindfulness means to you. You don’t need to sit on a meditation cushion for an hour every day or have extraordinary experiences. Growing in emotional, mental and spiritual well-being comes from learning to see everyday experiences and your responses to them through a lens of non-judgment, curiosity and compassion. “This classic from Jon Kabat-Zinn is one of the best books on happiness because it is such a comprehensive, practical and compassionate look at the human condition.” The title describes the central premise of the book and of mindfulness in general. “Wherever you go,” you take your strengths, weaknesses, life experiences, beliefs, worries and everything else, with you – for better or worse. And it's all these factors determine your overall life experience, whether you’re living in paradise or living through a global pandemic. When you explore all these aspects of yourself, in a mindful, caring way, you gain the immeasurable power to better understand yourself and others, relieve even long-term anxiety and become more balanced and happier. Round up: best books on happiness If you’ve been reevaluating your life since the pandemic and are key to explore your happiness further, these are the best books on happiness that can help you do just that. Let us know below in the comments which of these books have helped you most. Or, if you think I've missed some essentials from the list, please share below also. Happy reading! • Main image: shutterstock/Marjan Apostolovic happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ read our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Literature | Poetry | Film Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Do you ever get stressed at work? Many of us do. In fact, stress and depression account for around half of lost working days in the UK. Find out your work stress level by taking our questionnaire and then discover ways you can manage it effectively. What are the main causes of the stress you encounter in your job? It could be a combination of some of the following: a heavy workload, unclear expectations, lack of agenda and decision-making abilities, an overload of responsibilities, and boundaries that are not respected. If you feel stressed at work, you are not alone: According to the 2019 publication Work-related stress, anxiety or depression statistics in Great Britain, there were just over 600, 000 workers in the UK suffering from work-related stress, depression or anxiety (new or long-standing) in 2018/19. Over the same period, just under 13 million working days were lost due to these conditions. And stress, depression or anxiety accounted for 44 per cent of all work-related ill health cases and 54 per cent of all working days lost due to ill health. To help understand this we’ve developed the stress at work questionnaire. If you haven't completed it yet, please do so by hitting the link below. It takes less than three minutes and will shed some light on your personal experience at work and inspire you to think about the causes of stress you encounter in your job in a way that allows you to dig deeper into understanding and consequently managing your work stress. Stress at work questionnaire After you’ve gotten the result from your stress at work questionnaire, it's time to analyze it. The results are on a scale from zero to 60, with zero representing no stress at all and 60 an extreme and even dangerous amount of stress. What do you think about your result? Did it match your expectations? Share your thoughts with us in the happiness Forum. What causes stress? Stress generally refers to two things: the psychological perception of pressure (real and imagined/ anticipated), and the body's response to it. Avoiding an accident on the way to work will cause stress as well as social tension, or the fear of being held responsible for a bad result at work. This all triggers the release of stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones increase heartbeat and the circulation of blood to support quick action, fast breathing, focused attention, and more. But this lifesaving bodily response is only meant to solve short-term, acute problems. What is chronic stress? While occasional stress can be motivating and energizing – even life-saving – chronic stress is harmful, not only to our mental but also to our physical health. The signs of prolonged stress include headaches, insomnia or problems falling asleep, a racing heartbeat, stomach aches, muscle tension, and concentration difficulties, among others. Chronic stress can emerge in the absence of severe incidents by ruminating about anticipated problems, changes and challenges. Any situation you perceive as threatening, or which requires you to adjust to a change, can set the stress response off. This is not necessarily the best way to deal with ongoing difficulties such as unrealistic demands at work or hierarchical problems in a company. When the stress response gets continuously triggered, the mind and body stay in the state of high alert, which, over time, will cause wear and tear, as we fail to enter the important state of rest and recovery. Indeed, Segen's Medical Dictionary defines chronic stress as: “A state of prolonged tension from internal or external stressors [causes of stress], which may cause various physical manifestations – e.g., asthma, back pain, arrhythmias, fatigue, headaches, hypertension, irritable bowel syndrome, ulcers – and suppress the immune system.” Similarly, Wikipedia states: “While the immediate effects of stress [hormones] are beneficial in a particular short-term situation, long-term exposure to stress creates a [constant] high level of these hormones. This may lead to high blood pressure (and subsequently heart disease), damage to muscle tissue, inhibition of growth, suppression of the immune system, and damage to mental health.” How can we manage our stress levels? Here we need to distinguish between inner and outer factors. Stress management is not made to endure unacceptable and toxic work environments but to keep us healthy and encourage improvements within ourselves at the workplace in a calm and productive way. The first and most important step is the realization that we are actually stressed. Only the acceptance of the fact that stress is there allows us to do something about it. Though stress is often inevitable, you can help control your body's response to it. Exercise, meditation, invoking the relaxation response, and mindfulness are great stress busters. By actively managing our stress we change from passively sitting in the passenger seat of our stress reaction into actively choosing our response to the situation. Accepting that there is stress also doesn't mean that we have to endure it but that we see it for what it is. We are then able to analyze the situation and choose how we work within ourselves and in regard to the organization we work for. We have more clarity, are able to really listen to and understand other points of view, and find satisfying solutions that consider all parties involved. We can navigate difficult situations more skillfully and become aware of mechanisms at the workplace that cause unnecessary amounts of work and can, therefore, address them calmly. Stress management resources Explore these articles from happiness.com and wider afield to discover practical tips that can help you manage your stress effectively. Mindfulness at work: 6 productive tips 11 science-backed ways to feel stress-free, fast MBSR - Meditation based stress reduction - Free 8-week online course The amazing effects of MBSR: backed up by science Building resilience: 5 strategies for thriving Why Stress Is Both Good and Bad – Psychology Today The three types of stress – Psychology Today Sources Work-related stress, anxiety or depression statistics in Great Britain, 2019 – Health and safety executive [13.05.2020] Stress – Harvard Health [12.05.2020] How stress affects your health – American Psychological Association [12.05.2020] Stress: Psychology and Biology – Encyclopaedia Britannica [12.05.2020] Defining Stress – Explore IM: UCLA Collaborative Centers for Integrative Medicine [12.05.2020] Stress – Psychology Today [12.05.2020] Images: Alexander Schimmeck, Simon Abrams, Marvin Meyer on Unsplash Written by Tine Steiss Tine is an artist, meditator, media engineer, activist and MBSR teacher. If she's not reading or writing she's working on turning her city garden into an edible paradise. Find out more about Tine on herrberta.art.

Don't always have the words to say you love someone? Then 'pebbling' – a gesture originating from penguins – could work for you. As Dee Marques explains, pebbling is the act of sending loved-ones small tokens of affection to let them know you're thinking of them, often used by people who struggle to verbalise their feelings. Chances are you’ve come across a meme, video or image that reminded you of someone dear to you, and you couldn’t help but sharing it with them. Likewise, you’ve probably also been the one receiving an Instagram Reel or pic with the caption: “this is so you :-)”. This seemingly trivial act is known as pebbling, a trend that is making the rounds in social media as a way to show appreciation and build stronger connections through small and thoughtful gestures. What’s fascinating is that many of us may already be pebbling – or being pebbled – without even realising it, whether we’re doing it online or in the real world. So, what is pebbling exactly, what do penguins have to do with pebbling, and how can you use it to nurture personal relationships and strengthen your bonds with others? So, what is pebbling exactly? Pebbling involves offering small gestures to others to show you care for that person. But what do pebbles have to do with it? Well, the expression 'pebbling' comes from a charming practice observed in nature between penguins in Antartica. Here, male gentoo penguins court their potential mates by presenting them with the most perfect pebbles they can find. These function as simple gifts that symbolise their affection and commitment to building a nest together. Nature and nurture: male gentoo penguins court mates by gifting perfect 'nesting' pebbles Penguin pebbling also happens between people: think about all the thoughtful acts of kindness that can communicate love and appreciation. Unlike traditional gift-giving – which often involves a lot of planning or considerable expenses – pebbling thrives on simplicity. Whether it’s sending a random “thinking of you” text or making someone a cup of tea, the magic lies in the gesture’s small but heartfelt nature. Ultimately, this ritual is not about material wealth, but about intention and connection. Pebbling as a love language Because pebbling is subtle and doesn’t require elaborate gestures or speeches, it’s included within the five neurodivergent love languages, alongside: parallel play/body doubling, info-dumping, support swapping, and deep pressure. For neurodivergent individuals, traditional expressions of affection like overt romantic gestures or spoken declarations of love can feel challenging or uncomfortable. “Pebbling involves offering small gestures to others to show you care. Unlike traditional gift-giving – which often involves a lot of planning or considerable expenses – pebbling thrives on simplicity.” The beauty of penguin pebbling is that it doesn’t require fancy words or actions. Small but meaningful gestures can also speak volumes, and are a much more accessible way of communicating for people from neurodivergent communities. For many, pebbling bridges the gap between wanting to show love and finding a comfortable way of expressing it. Pebbling in friendships and other personal relationships In romantic relationships, pebbling can be a game-changer. During the early stages of dating or courting, small gestures are a way of showing attentiveness and of building intimacy. Even in long-term relationships, penguin pebbling helps keep the connection alive by reaffirming with your partner that they’re often in your thoughts. MORE LIKE THIS: Random Acts of Kindness: 22 Acts to Spread Happiness Why Can't I Make Friends: 7 Self-Limiting Patterns The Power of Kindness: The Ripple Effects of Being Nice Similarly, in platonic friendships, small and thoughtful acts can strengthen bonds and show your buddies that they're valued. For instance, sharing a Spotify playlist that reminds you of your best mate or surprising them with their favourite cake on a tough day can go a long way in showing that you care, while also building a history of shared memories. Digital dating: Sending memes, playlists or Reels is a form of pebbling Furthermore, giving and receiving “pebbles” can also strengthen parent-child relationships, especially if the kids are digital natives. Children might pebble their parents by drawing a picture or sharing a silly video that made them laugh, and parents can pebble their kids by putting a favourite treat into their lunchbox or sending a text of encouragement before an exam. Five benefits of pebbling Pebbling might consist of small gestures, but it has a powerful impact. Here are some of the key benefits of giving symbolic pebbles: 1. Strengthens relationships Thoughtful gestures build trust and connection. When you pebble someone, you’re sending a clear message: “I’m thinking about you”. These acts of care create a sense of security and warmth in relationships, which reinforce emotional bonds and make relationships stronger. And, as some studies have found, the positive impact of acts of kindness can last up to three months. 2. Boosts feel-good hormones Acts of kindness like those involved in pebbling trigger the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. This creates the so-called “Helper’s High” effect, where the brain rewards kind behaviour with a rush of happiness chemicals, which – according to some studies – can have a similar effect to a mild morphine high. 3. Promotes emotional well-being Feeling cared for and appreciated has a profound effect on emotional health. For the receiver, pebbling can reduce feelings of loneliness, replacing them with joy and gratitude. “The expression 'pebbling' comes from a charming practice observed in nature between penguins. Male gentoo penguins court their mates by presenting them with the most perfect pebbles they can find.” Some studies report that more than 50% of people receiving a token of kindness say they experience increased happiness and gratefulness. 4. Encourages mindfulness Pebbling requires you to stop and think about the important people in your life, what makes them happy, and what might brighten their day. Taking time to consider other people’s needs and wishes can help you become more mindful of your connections, making it easier to stay present and appreciative. Sticky and sweet: Post-it pebbling is a simple way to show affection 5. Accessibility Unlike grand gestures that require significant time, money, or planning, penguin pebbling is simple and inclusive. Because it’s a low-cost way of expressing love and kindness, it's accessible to people of all ages and backgrounds. Anyone can pebble, and that’s the beauty of it. Pebbling: Ideas and inspiration Most of us are already pebbling or being pebbled in the digital world. But if you want to get more actively involved in this relationship ritual inspired by penguins, here are some ideas to get you going: Digital pebbling Share a funny meme or TikTok video that made you think of someone. Send a “just checking in” message to a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. Create a digital photo album of your favourite memories with a friend. Send a cute emoji for no reason (yes, it can be as simple as that!). Real-world pebbling Pick up your coworker’s favourite snack or drink “just because”. Leave a handwritten note on your partner’s bathroom mirror, fridge, or pillow. Bring an actual pebble with some special feature from a meaningful location. Find a pretty tree leaf and give it as a keepsake. For parents and kids Prepare a surprise breakfast with your child’s favourite foods. Kids can make a DIY “I love you” card or bracelet for their parents. Have a “pebble jar” where family members leave notes of gratitude for one another. Create a family Messenger group and be active sharing and responding to messages and images. Takeaway: What is Pebbling? What started as a charming behaviour in penguins has evolved into a powerful practice for building and maintaining meaningful connections. Whether it’s a romantic partner, a close friend, or a family member, the small and thoughtful acts of kindness involved in pebbling remind us that expressions of love and care don’t have to be fancy to be meaningful. So, next time you a family member or friend enters your thoughts, why not pebble them? A simple action can brighten their day, make your relationship more authentic, and spread positivity in ways you never imagined. • Images: shutterstock/evenfh, shutterstock/shurkin_son happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Friendship | Compassion | Kindness Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Writer and teacher Jack Kornfield has spent his life working with mindfulness and meditation. Let's take a deeper look at his life and learnings. Jack Kornfield is a writer, teacher and one of the leading proponents of Buddhism in the West. He's been teaching meditation across the globe for over 40 years and, throughout this time, his work has played an instrumental part in helping to introduce the useful lessons and concepts of mindfulness to a Western audience. Jack Kornfield and mindfulness Mindfulness. It's a word that we hear more and more frequently in our day-to-day lives. Perhaps it should come as no surprise: the modern world is one which seems to travel at a break-neck speed. A place where information, entertainment, and work are all present, 24 hours a day; shaping our thoughts, emotions and living environments. However, the human mind needs its 'down time', too. We all require moments of rest to reflect on the day's events and to make sense of the world. A few hours' sleep each night is not the same as realising true peace of mind. And that, perhaps, is why mindful living has become such an attractive concept for so many people in recent years. Jack Kornfield. © jackkornfield.com/Deborah Jaffe But where did the concept of mindfulness originate? For those who have only recently discovered the mindful approach to everyday life, it's often surprising to learn that mindfulness is not a recent creation at all. In fact, its roots and origins stretch back many centuries into the past. RELATED: Meditation vs Mindfulness: what's the difference Perhaps what has been a more recent phenomenon has been the dissemination of mindful thinking across the planet – enabling new adherents to discover this ancient philosophy for the very first time. And, in achieving this, few teachers have been quite as instrumental as Jack Kornfield. Jack Kornfield: learning and teaching Kornfield's path to the mindful existence has been a lifelong journey of learning and sharing his knowledge. His studies have taken him around the world, and he has studied directly under the tutelage of some of the leading minds of Buddhist thought in the 20th century and the present day. “With mindfulness, we are learning to observe in a new way, with balance and a powerful disidentification.” Jack Kornfield Kornfield's story began fairly typically. Born, one of twins, to Jewish parents in 1945, Jack developed a deep fascination for the cultures of the Far East early on in life. Seeking to broaden his understanding, he enrolled at the prestigious Dartmouth College, New Hampshire; graduating in Asian Studies in 1967. After university, Kornfield joined the United States Peace Corps and was soon assigned to work with a tropical medicines team in the Mekong River Valley, aiding the Public Health Service of Thailand. Working for some time in the northeastern Isan region of the country, he was able to use this time with the Peace Corps to visit many of the world's oldest Buddhist forest monasteries. It was here that he took his first steps on what would become a lifelong journey of learning and understanding Buddhist mindfulness. The Forest tradition The Kammaṭṭhāna Forest tradition of northeastern Thailand is a unique process within Buddhist understanding. It is one which emphasises the balance between thought and action; teaching Buddhism as a process of training the mind to improve one's experiences of everyday life. To the adherents of the Kammaṭṭhāna process, thought precedes all existence. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Jack Kornfield gives the perfect example of mindfulness. © YouTube That Kornfield would find himself working in the Isan region of Thailand is therefore incredibly fortuitous. The introduction of mindful thought into the West can be traced back directly to this time, and his chance encounters with the teachers of the forest tradition. Indeed, as we look back, it's hard to contemplate a way that these lessons could have arrived in the West, had Kornfield not visited the forest monasteries and become inspired by the teachings of Ajahn Chah at this time. Who is Ajahn Chah? The venerable Ajahn Chah was instrumental not only in setting Jack Kornfield on his path to mindfulness but also in helping to introduce the thoughts and concepts of Kammaṭṭhāna to the wider world. A thinker who had himself led an incredible life, Ajahn Chah spent much of his adult life walking across Thailand, living only in woodland and caves as he learned the strict methods of the Forest Tradition. Having eventually established a settled monastery of his own in Ubon Ratchathani Province, Ajahn Chah became an influential mentor to a new generation of Buddhist thinkers. Jack Kornfield would spend much time with the venerable Ajahn Chah during this period and, under his tutelage, learned the fundamental lessons that he would later develop into Buddhist mindfulness. RELATED: Jon Kabat-Zinn – master of mindfulness and MBSR Furthermore, during his time in Asia, Kornfield would also meet and study with the Venerable Mahasi Sayadaw of Burma, and Dipa Ma from India. Together, these three mentors would provide Jack with a broad understanding of meditation, Buddhist tradition, and the Vipassana movement. Insight Meditation Society From this point, Kornfield understood the beneficial effect that these lessons could bring to modern Western societies. On his return to the United States, Jack immediately dedicated his time to establishing a centre for the teaching of Vipassana meditation in the west. In 1975 he founded the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) with two of his colleagues: Sharon Salzberg, and Joseph Goldstein. The first retreat centre opened its doors in Barre, Massachusetts, in February 1976. The cultural significance of that first Insight Meditation Society is such that it is widely regarded as being one of the very first organisations to pioneer the study of the Vipassanā tradition in the Western hemisphere. “Let go of the battle. Breathe quietly and let it be. Let your body relax and your heart soften. Open to whatever you experience without fighting.” Jack Kornfield It could be said that, on founding that first Insight Meditation Society centre, Kornfield discovered his true calling in life – that of a teacher. Through his work with the society, he developed his approach to teaching the lessons of Vipassanā. By 1974 Kornfield had already become a founding faculty member of the Naropa Buddhist University in Boulder, Colorado. This was just the first of many positions Kornfield has held as an instructor and tutor in Vipassanā techniques. These lessons have taken him to countless countries around the globe, sharing his knowledge and communicating his insightful views in a way that connects with audiences of all backgrounds. Jack Kornfield's ordination, 1969. © jackkornfield.com Kornfield is today considered one of the pre-eminent teachers of mindful thought: his approach is both scientific and spiritual, and always seeks to ground matters of universal significance into a context of the everyday. He holds a PhD in Clinical Psychology from Saybrook University and has led International Buddhist Teacher meetings with the Dalai Lama. Today, Kornfield lives at the Spirit Rock Center in Woodacre, California, which he founded, and where he teaches meditation and mindfulness. A passionate advocate for individual freedoms as well as spiritual well-being, Kornfield is a keen activist and has pioneered the use of social media and podcasting to share his vision of what a more mindful society can look like. Kornfield's books have sold more than one million copies worldwide, and have been translated into over 20 languages. Many guided meditations and mindfulness trainings – for example, with Tara Brach – are available online. ● Written by Guest Author We're interested in publishing articles by guest authors that will broaden the perspective and bring new insights. If you're interested in publishing an article here on happiness.com, please contact us.

MBSR or mindfulness-based stress reduction is a technique growing in popularity. Ed Gould takes a look at the science behind it and the growing list of physical and mental positive effects on the body... Do you want to alter the way your mind works to gain a greater understanding of the here and now? Are you thinking about which strategies you can use for dealing with pain, inattentiveness or stress? Worried that any approach you might take is not bound up in real scientific research? If so, then MBSR – mindfulness-based stress reduction – may be the practice you've been looking for. The techniques involved are simple; anyone can learn them with persistence. Thorough research from various leading medical experts in their fields has revealed some impressive facts about this practice. The key effects of MBSR Mindfulness-based stress reduction is something that can bring tremendous benefits to anyone who takes it up. While it's not a substitute for treating more serious medical conditions, it does have many benefits. As with most things in life, creating a balance is key. Once you become better-versed in the mindfulness techniques and training, they can have a widely-accepted therapeutic effect for any of the following conditions: stress high blood pressure depression chronic anxiety migraine headaches diabetes some heart conditions In particular, common uses for MBSR are for controlling the often debilitating effects of chronic pain, a frequently unwanted symptom of several of the above-listed ailments. But, how can such claims be made? According to Dr Daniel J. Siegel, a professor of clinical psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, scientific studies and research programs have regularly shown that MBSR is effective in reducing stress in all these conditions and more. Keeping calm: MBSR helps to reduce stress In addition to the medical effects that mindfulness can have, many people use the techniques involved to improve their daily lives. Everyday tasks, such as cooking, cleaning, going for a walk, can all be performed using mindfulness techniques. According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, Professor of Medicine at the University of Massachusetts, taking a mindful approach is as focused on being as fully awake in life as it is when dealing with medical ailments. “It's about perceiving the exquisite vividness of each moment," he says. Therefore, stress-reducing mindfulness can have a powerful effect on individuals who consistently practice the techniques. Even those who don't suffer from excessive amounts of anxiety and mental anguish can benefit from mindfulness. The history of MBSR The science of mindfulness has been a crucial part in creating its modern history. It had its start in America in 1979. Numbers were small, but as word spread of its positive effects, numbers grew. The 35-year history of the course program has revealed to science that it can deliver a consistent and reliable improvement in individuals suffering from stress and other related symptoms. This betterment is present in both medical and psychological symptoms. MBSD was pioneered by Kabat-Zinn, who successfully brought together modern Western traditions of science and medicine together with ancient mindfulness techniques from the Far East. Indeed, mindfulness can trace its roots back hundreds, if not thousands, of years to transcendentalism and Buddhism. Centered in and around the Middle East, India and China, mindfulness takes hold in various religions and philosophies. "Meditation is the only intentional, systematic human activity which at bottom is about not trying to improve yourself or get anywhere else, but simply to realize where you already are." Jon Kabat-Zinn The word mindfulness is essentially a translation into English of the Indian Pali word sati or smrti in Sanskrit. Sometimes translated as 'awareness', sati is one of the fundaments of Buddhist thought. These concepts have a broad range of ways in which they can be practised, similar to anapanasati and satipaṭṭhāna, which are popular in Zen Buddhism. These ideas focus on mindfulness and awareness of sensory experiences. Notable scientific studies into MBSR effects According to Philippe R. Goldin and James J. Gross in their study 'Emotion Regulation in Social Anxiety Disorder', one of the key findings of MBSR research is that it has measurable effects on emotional regulation. Goldin and Gross point out that reducing stress, anxiety, and depression is possible by using these techniques. This result was due to the modifying emotion regulation abilities which mindfulness practices can create. Peace, please: mindfulness can regulate emotions so try MBSR The study also shows that people involved in this research program were able to achieve emotional regulation in a number of different ways. These included changing situations by selection, modifying situations, attentional deployment and response modulation. Another key factor in the scientifically noted emotional regulation detected in participants resulted in cognitive change. Further research studies have been carried out to determine the impact of mindfulness-based stress reduction on social anxiety disorder, a common psychiatric condition. According to one critical study, carried out by Koszycki et al. in 2007, results from the study showed a like-for-like improvement in patients with the disorder was achievable by participating in an eight-week MBSR course, compared with a 12-week cognitive–behavioural group therapy course. Although both programs produced improvements in the mood, functionality, and quality of life for the participants, the study also revealed significantly lower scores for anxiety, especially with cognitive behavioural therapies compared with MBSR, as rated by both clinicians and patients. “Mindfulness-based stress reduction is something that can bring tremendous benefits to anyone who takes it up.” In a 1998 study conducted on medical students, a control group who underwent an MBSR course showed reduced stress levels. Published in the American Journal of Behavioural Medicine, Shapiro et al.'s study showed that there was a reduction of reports from the group of overall psychological distress, including depression. Furthermore, the group stated that they felt increased levels of empathy. They also measured their spiritual existence with higher scores at the end of the course. Fields of use for stress-reducing mindfulness According to Judith Ockene Ph D at the University of Massachusetts Medical School in this video, there are many areas of use for mindfulness-based stress reduction. Early scientific studies showed that psoriasis patients saw improved results after their phototherapy treatments. Two control groups were created. One group listened to a guided mindfulness audio during their treatment, the other group heard no accompanying audio. This study, it should be noted, centred on the physical ailments of psoriasis and not the mental aspects. By simply reducing the stress levels of the patients who underwent their treatments, scientifically demonstrable improvements demonstrated the effects of the physical outcomes from using the mindfulness audio. Now's the time: why not take the free course in MBSR? Much of the recent scientific research into MBSR focusses on mental health, with a particular focus on conditions like depression. But mindfulness can be a powerful tool in the field of medicine across many disciplines and therapeutic avenues. For example, according to Lawrence Leung, Associate Professor at the Department of Family Medicine at Queen's University, Canada, MBSR techniques are also used to help patients cope with chronic non-cancer related pain and a range of other conditions. These matters eventually affect up to half of the world's population at some time or another. With such wide-ranging uses, it seems that the medical possibilities for mindfulness are limitless. All it takes is new ways of imagining its practical application. If you' re keen to try out mindfulness techniques yourself, you can take this 100% free 8-week MBSR course, created by a fully certified MBSR instructor and modelled on the program founded by Jon Kabat-Zinn. ● Main image: Colorbox.com Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's also a practitioner of Reiki.

Life is seldom smooth-sailing. Sonia Vadlamani shares some helpful, research-backed ways that can make navigating through life obstacles a great deal easier... and even enjoyable! Life is hard sometimes, as we’re all aware. A random analysis of any given week would present the various hassles we often come across: a flat tire, an unexpected expense, a flu that puts a dent in your plans for the week, an incomplete to-do list – you get the picture. As a matter of fact, these challenges seem to multiply as we grow older. We assume we have it all under control, until we’re suddenly mired amidst one too many adversities and unforeseen hardships like major health conditions, loved ones suffering or passing away and the grief that follows, having to end a friendship, relationship breakdowns, to name but a few. RELATED: How to Protect Your Energy: 7 Science Backed Techniques I’m no stranger to the realization that life will always remain unpredictable despite all my thorough planning, and there will always be contingencies which I couldn’t have scheduled. For instance, I thought I had mapped out my plans for 2020 to the last detail, when COVID-19 pandemic struck, and changed my perspective about navigating through life events entirely. Not only did I have to cancel all my travel plans, but I lost an ailing grandfather who I nurtured a very affectionate relationship with. To add to my troubles, my gym, favorite hangout spots, friends and all social events we enjoyed became inaccessible due to the pandemic, leaving me feeling confused, restless and helpless. While I did still have plenty to be grateful for, life as I knew it had been altered dramatically, and I seemed to have no clue how to cope with such unprecedented times. However, in hindsight, it seems that like billions of other people throughout the world, I went about navigating through life and overcoming challenges with determination and resilience. Indeed, staying resilient and maintaining a positive disposition during a rough ride can prove to be cumbersome. Nevertheless, navigating through life becomes easier when we accept challenges as a chance to rise above our insecurities and fear of change. Navigating life: 10 helpful tips Sometimes, navigating through life with all its difficulties can seem like a daunting task. You may find yourself stuck with the feeling that you’re never good enough, or that life’s been unfair to you and you were cut a raw deal. Truth is, challenges arise in everyone’s lives, and no one can remain secure in their comfort zone for too long. But it’s entirely up to us as to how we go about to seek a happy, successful life. Here are ten science-backed rules to help us navigate through life’s challenges head-on, so we can lead happier, meaningful lives. 1. Be true to yourself Living in the digital era, it’s easy to get caught in the comparison trap and lose your sense of individuality sometimes. Indeed, authenticity in today’s technology-dominated times may seem like a risky move – especially when social media and other shaping forces in our lives, such as parents, teachers and peers may have told us to ‘fit in’ and conform – in order to feel a connection. As a result, we often hide our true selves due to the fear of rejection and judgment from others. Confronting – not avoiding – challenges is a key way to navigate life However, research suggests that authenticity is an integral part of happiness, and can boost one’s self-esteem, in addition to lowering stress levels. In fact, real, lasting connections are forged when we are true to ourselves. Indeed, cultivating your authentic self can seem challenging at first, but the rewards it enables you to reap – in the form of greater life satisfaction, strengthened interpersonal relationships, and a reinforced sense of purpose – make it all worth pursuing. 2. Confront challenges Life has a way of presenting us consistently with challenges that will assess our emotional mettle, be it in the form of injury, illness, loss, grief or an uncertain future. Accepting this can allow us to be fully present and relish the gifts we have in our lives this very moment, as we live each day with renewed appreciation, joy and lasting confidence in our own capabilities. “The happiest people I know are dedicated to dealing with the most difficult problems,” reveals Rosabeth M Kanter, founding chair of Harvard Advanced Leadership Initiative, and author of Think Outside The Building. In fact, Kanter suggests dividing our challenges into two categories: the ones we’re dealing with immediately, and those which give us a “chance to make a difference”. The latter helps us look at hurdles in a new light, making us better equipped for navigating through life with a sense of purpose. 3. Distinguish thoughts from fact Most of us are guilty of spending too much time ‘in our heads’ or being pre-occupied with our thoughts. According to research, humans are hardwired for negativity, which means that it’s natural for most of us to feel negative outcomes or emotions with a greater intensity than positive feelings. As a result, we end up navigating life with a penchant for overthinking, which can affect our mental health and stress levels adversely according to research. “Overcoming challenges forms an important part of navigating through life, and the ability to view a situation from a different vantage point can allow us to learn a great deal about ourselves.” To make matters worse, we often mistake overthinking for problem-solving. Whereas the truth is that rumination impacts our decision making, thus interfering with our problem-solving abilities. Instead of catastrophizing the challenges, you need to stop ruminating and embrace them as stepping-stones to personal growth. Acknowledging that you are not your thoughts will allow you to take control of your thoughts, and put a stop to the tedious mental chatter. 4. Change your perspective Stephen Joseph, professor of psychology and author of Authentic: How to Be Yourself and Why It Matters, suggests that we change our perspective and consider challenges as “an important part of growing and developing as a person”. Indeed, overcoming challenges forms an important part of navigating through life, and the ability to view a situation from a different vantage point can allow us to learn a great deal about ourselves. MORE LIKE THIS: How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed: 8 Strategies What the 12 Pillars of Well-Being Can Teach Us How to Deal With Disappointment: 8 Top Tips Instead of living in denial in your comfort zone, we can gradually tune our minds to look at adversities as learning opportunities and face them head-on when they present themselves. Stepping back to get a better perspective, taking some time to clear your mind, and approaching the situation without rushing will enable you to gain newer insights. 5. Maintain a sense of humour Life can be a bumpy ride sometimes, and stress seems unavoidable given the daily hassles we experience, such as waiting times, unpleasant interactions with co-workers, deadlines, and failed plans. However, there is no need for a serious and skeptic demeanor all the times, and a little bit of humour and playfulness can go a long way to strengthen relationships and boost happiness levels. Infusing some humour in your daily life is a great way to prime your mind for optimism and navigate life with a positive attitude. 6. Be kind to yourself We often tend to beat ourselves up when things don’t go the way we planned. However, this cycle of self-criticism and ignoring the pain we feel seldom makes us feel any better. Compare this with how you’d treat a friend with love, kindness and encouragement when they face failure. Researcher Kristin Neff suggests that channeling self-compassion during tough times is crucial for overcoming challenges with an improved sense of connectedness and emotional balance. Indeed, being kind to yourself and treating yourself with love and compassion can make navigating through life an easier, happier feat. 7. Persistence is key While everyone adapts differently to a challenge or an adverse situation, one rule that holds true for everyone is that it’s never too late to get back on track to achieve your goals. Avoid the temptation to give up – researchers suggest that deserting your purpose or circumventing your goals can be emotionally painful, possibly resulting in grief-related distress or even depression. Cultivating persistence pays off without fail, as long as you set realistic goals and continue to put efforts in the right direction. Stay persistent and focused on achieving your dreams 8. Remember happiness is a journey, not a destination You may have noticed how accomplishing goals makes us happy but only for a limited time, as we then move on to the pursuit of happiness in the form of the next milestone. Psychologists refer to this tendency as the ‘happiness trap’, wherein one maintains an unrealistic purview of happiness, in addition to constantly comparing their happiness levels with that of others. “Being kind to yourself and treating yourself with love and compassion can make navigating through life an easier, happier feat.” However, researchers and philosophers stress the importance of viewing happiness as a journey not a destination that needs to be chased relentlessly. Indeed, it’s important to take the time to pause and smell some roses along the way. Navigating through life gets easier when we view happiness as a choice we can make consciously, and cultivating happy habits that can raise our well-being levels in a consistent manner. 9. Remain thoughtful, kind and gracious Difficult times warrant the need for human kindness more than ever, and it helps to treat others the same way we want to be treated. Expressing thankfulness, apologizing genuinely, complimenting others without an agenda, and offering support and encouragement in times of need helps strengthen our connection with others. Developing a reputation for being grateful, compassionate and kind can help you build lasting relationships that you can depend on whilst navigating life’s difficulties. 10. Devise and uphold your personal boundaries Personal boundaries are a measure of your self-esteem and help ensure that you aren’t vulnerable to being used or mistreated by others around you. Devising and establishing clear, strong boundaries in place helps foster trust and loyalty, thereby strengthening relationships. Healthy boundaries are not just about being able to express your views and needs assertively but are also helpful for navigating through life in a more efficient manner. Takeaway: navigating life As we all know from experience, life has its ups and downs. Most of also realize that we seek happiness, meaningful connections and fulfillment of our purpose as we navigate through it. Practising mindfulness, being accountable for your words and actions, developing an attitude of gratitude, and being present instead of worrying about the future can make navigating life easier – and more importantly – enjoyable. • Main image: shutterstock/fizkes happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Compassion | Friendship Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Which are the best happiness apps out there on the market? Rae Bathgate selects the top six that help boost your well-being. Apple coined the phrase “there's an app for that,” and it's true many of us tend rely on our smartphones and apps for so much these days. There are apps for music, dating, exercising, health, transport, learning new languages, and even tuning a guitar. But what are some of the best happiness apps out there? There are so many happiness apps these days, how do you know which are the best? Well, below I review six of the top science-based happiness apps to reveal their strengths and weaknesses. The best happiness apps are, first and foremost, free (at least for a trial run). Many also use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) as a basis for their concept. While apps are indeed very different than an hour of talk therapy with a counsellor, the way that apps can work within the realm of CBT is to try to modify your thinking patterns and by helping you to change patterns of behaviour through repetition. This can be of help if you are trying to stop ruminating. Who uses happiness apps? There are various reasons why self-care apps can be a positive addition to your life and push you a little bit closer towards your quest to happiness. They're more common than you think, and people already tend to use the iPhone, an extension of themselves, as a way to learn more about and to be more in tune with their mind. Get appy: which happiness apps boost your well-being? Indeed, according to Nature, about 29 per cent of “disease-specific mobile health apps” are focused on mental health. For example, two common mental health related apps for more dire circumstances are the PTSD Coach app or FOCUS for users with schizophrenia. While these two don't illustrate why the average happy hunter uses happiness apps, they have some of the same benefits. So, can an app really make you happier? First of all, the best happiness apps are helpful for those with a busy schedule, as they are always available. After all, you never know when you’ll need help. The app also interacts positively with the user. Just like getting constant notifications or updates on social media might be stressful, receiving reminders to do a task or maybe an affirmation just when you need it could help you feel a lot better. “Apps within the realm of CBT try to modify your thinking patterns and by helping you to change your patterns of behaviour through repetition.” While not all the apps are free, many beat the cost of going to see a mental health professional, and, what’s more, the stigma of going to see a specialist unfortunately still exists. Some of the advantages of using happiness apps are: You can practice them everywhere; If you use them as much as you use your smartphone, you'll use them regularly; It can remind you to be happier if you forget; Many of them are cost effective, if not free. Of course, it's important to remember that happiness and health apps are an excellent way to keep working towards better mental health at the forefront of your everyday life and can consolidate healthy habits, but even the best happiness apps by no means replace visiting a mental health professional, or even just simple human contact. Think of these happy apps like vitamins – supplements are great, but they can never replace the real thing. So, without further ado – and in no particular order – here's our pick of the best happiness apps on the market right now. 1. Happify Android: Free iPhone: Free Happify comes in both website and app form, and claims to: increase happiness through fun activities and games; help you learn life-changing habits based on science; reduce stress and build skills for a happy healthy life. The Happify app has various “scientifically validated tracks” that are suggested to you after you take a short questionnaire detailing your life and health. Each track has a theme and is divided into parts (usually four). These are then divided into activities, ranging from guided meditations to reflective writing assignments to fun games. How many tracks depends on if you pay the monthly subscription or downloaded the free version. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Happify app: an overview of this happiness application For the more socially minded, there's a community page with inspirational comments from other users. You can add your own too to brighten someone else’s day since it’s proven to make you feel happier. There are 58 'core activities' to begin with, with different variations, adding up to an amazing 1,200 various activities in total. These activities were designed with the help of a psychology professor, and they range from asking you to write down what you’re looking forward to in general, or looking forward to doing for a friend. Each of the 58 activities has a “Why it works” icon next to it, to explain you more about the science behind the fun games. Every two weeks, your phone gives you a happiness check-in. “While not all the best happiness apps are free, many beat the cost of going to see a mental health professional.” The reception for Happify app has been overall positive. In fact, 86 per cent of the app's users reported feeling better about their lives after just two months of using it during testing, with many reporting feeling more motivated and productive, indicating that it helps people to solidify positive, helpful habits that are the framework for a more confident and happy life. Happify app allows you develop life-changing habits Users can also access Happify Daily – free content based around happiness – as well as the Happify community and forum. And, if you really feel the app is working for you, you can unlock the full range of actives and reports by subscribing to Happify Plus. So, as a recap, here's why you should download the Happify app: It helps you build resilience for stressful experiences; It helps you build happy, healthy habits tied to positive thinking; Since even reflecting on happy memories releases happiness hormones, you can boost your well-being by making a digital scrapbook to remind you of sunnier pastures when you feel blue. 2. Happy Habits Android: free iPhone: unavailable The Happy Habits app describes itself as relying heavily on the principles of CBT, and that it works by helping to “create the conditions for happiness in [the user's] life. It starts out by giving its users a 119-item test to assess their happiness based on 14 factors; then, they administer results and suggestions, through games and soothing audios to talk you through your quest for happiness. Another Happy Habits feature are Emotion Training Audios. These are to help with managing emotions so that you can be more aware and cultivate a more positive attitude, best used when you feel overwhelmed by anger, sadness, or stress. Happy Habits: a sneak peak inside this well-being app Then, if you're feeling particularly anxious, you can also use the Relaxation Audios to unwind and to learn deep relaxation. Or, for those of you who like to find out more about the concept and the history of the pursuit of happiness, there's their Choosing Happiness Audio to delve into the idea of and search for well-being. For those of you who like to cross things off of a list, the Happy Habits app also features a Customisable Happy 'to do' list. “The best happiness are free (at least for a trial run). Many also use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) as a basis for their concept.” Like most of the best happy apps, it's gamified, which means using it is fun, rather than a chore, with a points feature that helps you to keep track of progress. Users who like to write and keep track of their thoughts will be happy to know that the app also has a happiness journal for writing personal affirmations and recording positive events to look back on later. The Happy Habits design is a little retro, but it uses positive colours like yellow and orange, and it’s customizable. So, a recap of why you should use Happy Habits: It's based on CBT, a method that's proven to help depression and anxiety; It has a large variety of calming audios for you to listen to in the car, on the bus, or at home; It gives you a gratitude scrapbook to look back on when you need to cheer up. 3. SuperBetter Android: free iPhone: free Building resilience – the ability to stay strong, motivated and optimistic – even in the face of change and difficult challenges is tough. But the makers behind the SuperBetter app believe that using their tool will unlock your heroic potential so you can overcome tough situations and achieve goals that matter most. RELATED: Happiness podcasts – 8 that we rate At the heart of SuperBetter is the Live Gamefully® method, a framework that brings the psychological strengths and mindset of gameplay to real life. The method promotes new levels of personal growth as a result of stress and change. That's why it's called SuperBetter. A key part of building happiness is developing resilience. While bouncing back from life’s challenges is important, it’s not easy. SuperBetter makes the process easier by taking you through a series of activities that help you build resilience while reducing anxiety and depression, leading to a happier life. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } XX Feeling super: SuperBetter founder Jane McGonigal The SuperBetter app has gamified the process of building happiness by creating short and simple activities that you complete as you head off on quests to build happiness-boosting skills. Completing the activities provide you with quick wins to jump-start your happiness journey. With SuperBetter you become the hero of the app, as you gain points and power by completing and tracking daily activities. Simple tasks such as taking a walk or drinking a glass of water count as a step toward your ultimate goal. You can also do it with a secret identity and superhero story of your choosing. The SuperBetter lets you collect power-ups on your quests, fight off bad guys, and get help from allies. One of our best happiness apps: SuperBetter Another unique thing about the SuperBetter app is that it's heavily science-backed. A study by the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia found that when people played SuperBetter for 30 days, their mood improved, symptoms of anxiety and depression decreased, and self-belief to achieve goals increased. So, a recap of why you should use the SuperBetter app: Gamified and fun; Helps you to build resilience, adopt new habits, improve skills and strengthen relationships; Research has shown it has positive results. 4. HAPPY Android: free iPhone: free OK, call us biased, but we really think our own app, HAPPY, is also one of the best happiness apps on the market too! One of the most significant factors to impact our happiness is a sense of community, and that's what HAPPY, our own well-being app, focuses on. Many of the apps on this list aim to improve our mental health, foster resilience and actively build our capacity to live happier lives by offering concrete personal exercises such as gratitude journals, mindfulness exercises, creating healthy habits, etc. These are all practical measures which we at happiness.com highly recommend. However, they are primarily done in solitude and through introspection. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } The HAPPY app makes use of the key feature of the happiness.com platform – community. It's a happiness app that allows you to be in touch with people worldwide to share your struggles and support each other. To find strength in our shared humanity, our imperfection, and our deep care for each other and the planet. HAPPY is an app that aims to build a community and to use it to elevate your well-being through: Joining a conscious, global community. Engaging in big topics and intimate conversations. Sharing common interests and new perspectives. Building mutual support through shared struggles. Everyone experiences ups and downs, but how do we master the downs skillfully? The HAPPY app facilitates a safe and mutually supportive community where tools, practices and experiences enable everyone to live happy and fulfilled lives. HAPPY: our well-being app focuses on community For example, are you awake at 3am full of anxiety? Share your struggles live on the HAPPY app, and who knows where in the world someone else will be awake who relates to your experience and has kind words of support. Maybe you are in the metro on the way to work, and you can be the person who is offering those accepting words and emotional support. The HAPPY App is the mobile addition to happiness.com: your pocketful of happiness. Making the healing power of human connection – the happiness community – accessible on your phone. 5. Happier Android: unavailable iPhone: free Happier is an Apple app on a mission: to make sure you appreciate life to the fullest. Happier app was developed by Nataly Kogan, a TEDtalk speaker who emigrated from Russia when she was young and went through hard times, escaping oppression in the Soviet Union while her family got on their feet in the Detroit projects. Allegedly, Kogan vowed to find happiness, first looking towards success and wealth to achieve it. Quite understandably, this did not lead her where she wanted, so she turned towards her father's work – science – to see what next steps she could take. Happier app: an overview of what's inside In practice, the app works by helping you to be "more present and positive throughout the day," working like a life appreciation platform, or a personal life coach. Each day it prompts you to write what you're most grateful for, be it the sun shining on your back, a moment spent with a loved one, making every stoplight on the street, or getting your favourite ice cream – you can even add pictures • JOIN US! Discover more tips on happiness with our open and inspired community • These are moments that you might not notice if not for Happier, with which you can "create, collect and share those tiny positive moments." Ways you can use it are to lift your mood, take a meditation break, or enjoy the moments that make your day happier. “Happier app works by helping you to be 'more present and positive throughout the day', working like a life appreciation platform, or even a personal life coach.” The Happier app is portable and can be used on Apple watch as well, acting as your gratitude journal. It also offers “bite-sized, expert-led courses,” to teach you more about the practice and science of happiness on which the app is based, breaching subjects like strength, calmness, and gratitude. What's more, it works as a sort of happiness social media platform, where you can connect to those around you (if you want, since sharing publicly is entirely optional) and get inspired by their gratitude posts. There's something very zen about Happier, an app which urges you to think of happiness, not like a feeling, but more like a muscle to be trained and on which you can rely on your day-to-day life. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } So, here's a recap as to why you should use the Happier app: Instead of selling you unattainable happiness, it helps you to appreciate what you already have; To keep a picture, easily updatable scrapbook on what you're most grateful for; It helps you learn more about the science behind positive psychology. 6. Yolife Android: free iPhone: free A relative newcomer into the happiness app scene, Yolife is described as 'your personal coach to live longer in good health'. Indeed, the vision of the Yolife founders is to add 15 healthy years to the lives of at least one million people in the world. And what does great health bring? Greater happiness, that's what. Signing up via log-in or Facebook, the first stage of Yolife involves completing an engaging health consultation, answering questions about your health, habits, exercise, social life and such. Your responses determine just how many extra healthy years they suggest you'll live in good health. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Love life: Yolife wants you to live longer in great health Furthermore, with each answer you give there's a scientific explanation behind it and the chance to read more. Indeed, Yolife is thoroughly research-based, using clinical studies and advisory board for input. The design is modern and sleek, with a refreshing sense of humor in the texts, too. After completing the consultation you can see how many estimated healthy years you have. What comes next is your personalized programme of activities which aims to boost those healthy years further by helping you to discover which areas you have the greatest potential to improve. The programme includes classes on subjects such as optimal sleeping conditions, the purpose of life, sex makes you live longer (!), different ways of fasting, and plenty more. “The vision of the Yolife app is to add 15 healthy years to the lives of at least one million people in the world.” Yolife co-founder Tassilo Weber has his own definition of happiness which is very much present in the app: "I'm not only an entrepreneur, I also studied philosophy and still consider myself a philosopher by heart. Therefore, the pursuit and definition of happiness has always been a major topic in my life. And that influence cannot be hidden, as you use the Yolife app. The happiness app Yolife has a sleek, smart design “There's even one full session called “A formula for happiness”. It boils down to two things: 1. Find and follow a purpose. 2. Stay healthy for as long as possible. With these two pillars in place, happiness has the best chance to thrive. As Yolife is an app that helps you to live longer in good health and guided by purpose, I consider happiness as one of the main value propositions that we intend to bring to at least one million people.” So, here's a recap as to why you should use the Yolife: Science-backed suggestions on practical life changes; Track your progress and growth Sleek, modern design and great colours; The best happiness apps: conclusions Of course, using these happiness apps alone won't be enough to change your life. Spending too much time on your smartphone – even on happiness apps – won't give you time to put what you learn on these apps into practice. Still, there is science to back up the claims behind these programs. For example, a meta-analysis of 51 “positive-interventions” like mindfulness activities, gratitude writing, and goal-setting found them to “significantly enhance well-being and decrease depressive symptoms.” More specifically, one of the main ideas behind the majority of these apps, counting your blessings, has been proven to make you happier. We invite you to try out what we think are the best happiness apps to see what works best for you, and what pushes you to do the little things that will make your life better. Let us know below in the comments which ones have helped you the most! ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Learning | Mindfulness | Meditation | Coaching Written by Rae Bathgate Rae Bathgate is an American journalist based in Barcelona, where she enjoys sunlight, yoga, and bookbinding.

Looking to develop or improve your mindfulness practice? Tine Steiss reviews Mindfulness Daily, an app that aims to do just that. In Mindfulness Daily, Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach are presenting a 40-day introduction for mindfulness and meditation. You can access the daily lessons via an app or online. Mindfulness Daily app: what is it? The lessons are usually around 10 minutes long and are either taught by Jack or Tara. An explanation about today's subject is followed by a guided meditation to dig deeper into the subject. It's wrapped up with a daily practice to try throughout the day. Finding some space to incorporate your Mindfulness Daily practice during the start of your day could be a great idea. RELATED: Morning meditation – the secret to a great day Once you've completed a lesson you can access the following one the next day. This creates a nice pace and means that you can't rush through the course. You're given the time to explore each lesson throughout your day and you can always revisit the lessons you've already completed. These lessons are currently divided into four main topics: Mindfulness Basics Emotional Intelligence Resilience, Healing and Inner Freedom Mindful Living With the latest update of the Mindfulness Daily app, each lesson also has a name. This makes it much easier to revisit your most influential lessons when you feel like you need them. With this, you can tailor your sittings to your daily needs once you've finished the course by starting out with a subject you'd like to focus on. Which means the app keeps being your little helper, even after having finished the course. “Once you've completed a lesson on Mindfulness Daily you can access the following one the next day. This creates a nice pace and you can't rush through the course.” The course has a great structure that guides you through all the relevant areas of mindfulness without being boring or too demanding. It's suitable for beginners as a first introduction to mindfulness, but if you're more experienced you will still find this course helpful and structured and are likely to discover new aspects of mindfulness for yourself. Get 'appy: Mindfulness Daily offers 40 lessons Going through 40 aspects in 40 lessons you'll most likely encounter some that seem to be an easy ride and some that touch you on a deeper level. So, this is also a great way to explore where to focus on more in your future practice. Pricing and benefits Mindfulness Daily is distributed by Sounds True, an independent multimedia publishing company focusing on spiritual traditions, arts and humanities. I paid $38 for the app, so each lesson came down to less than $1. If you download Mindfulness Daily you also get access to other free Sounds True content. Even its regular newsletters come with free content, so the marketing is actually a win-win deal; they remind you to spend your money with them and give you something nice for free. Fair enough if you ask me. [UPDATE] Mindfulness daily is now available for free! RELATED: The 5 best happiness apps to improve well-being The Sounds True library app is a similar deal. It provides you with easy access to meditations, music, Mindfulness Daily and whatever else you may buy there in the future. It also tracks the time you've been meditating with the app, offers a meditation timer with different bells, and a journal for your experiences. This keeps me from not deleting the app from my phone and even using it on a daily basis. Mindfulness Daily: my personal experience Due to the briefness of each lesson, it's easily incorporated into your morning routine. At least for me, it was easy to sit down for ten minutes each morning and I didn't skip or postpone a single day. Most of the time I'd even revisit a lesson in the evening again to wrap up my day. “The Mindfulness Daily app course has a great structure that guides you through all the relevant areas of mindfulness without being boring or too demanding.” I started with meditation many years ago, but it wasn't until about two years ago that I developed my personal daily routine. Having a structured program is very helpful for me to keep up a daily practice. Even better if it helps me revisit and expand my knowledge and practice. So, the structured daily lessons were really up my alley to start with. I also realized how I got a bit slack after the course had finished. But I started using single lessons matching my needs that day as an intro to my daily practice. High praise: daily meditation using Mindfulness Daily works Furthermore, I admit to being a bit of a Tara Brach fangirl. She has a lot of free content out there that I listen to regularly. Normally it's harder for me to concentrate on a subject if I'm just listening and I prefer reading about it. In her case, it's the other way around. I had some troubles reading her book True Refugee. On the other hand, listening to her talks is a great experience, as the way she explains things really resonates with me. So, that's one of the main reasons I chose this course. If you're unsure about whether or not you like Tara Brach's or Jack Kornfield's style, just check out the free content they provide. Some of it you can also get for free on Sounds True. ● Main photo: colourbox.com Written by Tine Steiss Tine is part of the happiness.com team. She's an artist, meditator, media engineer and MBSR teacher. If she's not traveling she's working on turning her rooftop terrace into a garden paradise. Find out more about her on Instagram.

Most of us have probably asked ourselves what's the point of life'? Indeed, sometimes our time on Earth can seem futile. However, Dee Marques argues that finding meaning in your existence is key and tells you the three vital questions you should ask yourself to help find it. There comes a point in our lives where, no matter how successful we think we are, we’re bound to question why we’re here, what we're doing and where we’re going. Sometimes, posing these questions can help us evaluate our goals and lifestyle and improve them for better physical and mental health. In other cases – perhaps when we're feeling low or vulnerable – wondering what the point of life is can amplify feelings of depression, anxiety and emptiness. As humans, we’re unique in the animal kingdom, among many other reasons because of our quest for finding fulfilment and happiness in life. We aim to do more than eat, sleep, reproduce, and stay safe. This quest for meaning has characterised humans since the beginning of times and it’s a central question in every culture. And according to scientists, the search for meaning seems to be coded into our nature: our brains are larger and with this comes the ability to appreciate things beyond meeting our basic needs. • JOIN US! Need support? Sign-up to happiness.com and join a community that cares • And we can do more than appreciate the positive and joyful aspects of life. Trying to find meaning in negative experiences is also an ability that’s unique to humans, and that’s precisely what leads us to ask 'what's the point of life'. So how can we go about finding an answer? Let’s look at some practical ideas. What's the point of life? What if the purpose of life was finding a way to forget about the question 'what's the point of life?'! Maybe there’s no single thing that brings meaning per se, but the journey itself may be what helps us find purpose. And when we talk about the journey, we mean every aspect of it, from savouring the pleasant experiences to learning from mistakes. What's the point of life? Both meaning and purpose But for the journey to be meaningful, it must be the result of your own choices. Some people try to find meaning in wealth and fame, but this doesn’t have to be your story. As a living being, you’re in a unique position to decide what your purpose should be. We didn’t choose to be born, but we can choose how to live our lives and how to enjoy it. “What if the purpose of life was finding a way to forget about the question 'what's the point of life?'” To do that, it helps focusing on being consciously grounded in the present. Practising mindfulness creates a greater awareness of what it means to be alive. It helps your mind get more in touch with your emotions, reactions, and with your five senses. This type of clarity can open your eyes to things or experiences that help you to live your life with purpose. And mindfulness is not the only thing that can bring us clarity: there are some questions you can ask yourself to inspire your search for purpose. The 3 questions to help you find meaning The quest for meaning in life is so vast that the very thought of getting started can make you feel overwhelmed. Discovering what the point of life is is a lifelong journey and the steps and stages won’t be the same for everyone. However, there are some questions that you can put you on the right track to begin the journey of discovery. 1. What would you like to be remembered for? As humans, we tend to focus on the present and in the future. If you examine your ambitions, you may find that they’re limited to what you want to achieve this year, next year, on in the next decade. But have you thought about what you’d want to be remembered for? RELATED: How to Find Yourself Again: 10 Steps in Creating Clarity The answer to this question is usually related to career or spiritual goals rather than material ones, and thinking about it can help bring into focus the true essence of your being. If you're feeling lost in life, writing your obituary can be a great exercise in confirming what you'd like to be remembered for. 2. If you had super-powers, which problem would you solve first? There’s no shortage of serious problems in the world, and while it’s not always in our hands to solve them, thinking about which problem you’d give priority can hint at where your main concerns are. Once you know that, you can start looking for ways of doing your part. For example, if you find that you’d want to end world hunger, you may want to spend some time volunteering at a soup kitchen, or creating a community food garden. 3. What’s the one activity that makes you lose track of time? We all know that time drags on when we’re doing something we dislike. But the opposite is also true: there are some activities that make time fly because they get our full attention and bring us a sense of fulfilment. Losing track of time when doing something is known as finding your flow, and it's a clear sign that the activity taps into the things that make us come alive. So, spending more time in those activities can help you enjoy a more meaningful life. These questions are just the starting point: we’ve written an article about other ways to guide your search for meaning. What's the point of life? Being enough There’s no doubt that knowing what your purpose in life is can bring you closer to happiness. But if you’ve been trying to find out what your role in life is and have found no answer, don’t torture yourself. People’s experiences are different and not everyone will find the right answer at the same time. Gratitude: having enough can be enough shutterstock/WAYHOME studio What’s more, rushing into finding an answer will only put you under pressure and cause stress. Instead, try to see it from a different perspective: if you haven’t found an answer yet, simply “being” should be enough for now. Here are four suggestions on how to make that work: 1. Find abundance in having enough The powers of gratitude are proven by science. Make a list of things you already have in your life that make you feel blessed and grateful. Through mindfulness practice, you can find abundance in these things, and you may find that having enough is… enough! 2. Get comfortable with discomfort Life can feel like an uphill battle sometimes, at it's at those times when we might wonder what's the point of life or of going through hard times. However, discomfort in life is unavoidable and trying to find meaning in those experiences often leads to frustration. So, try to accept life for what it is and know that the hard times won't last for ever. “Discovering what the point of life is is a lifelong journey and the steps and stages won’t be the same for everyone.” 3. Let your intuition guide you Finding the meaning of life requires some analytical thinking, but sometimes logical reasoning doesn’t have all the answers. The key is to balance rational thoughts with intuition, which sometimes will contradict all logical arguments. Listen and trust that inner voice because it usually knows what’s good and right for you! 4. Forget what others think or are doing Some people seem to have their life’s purpose figured out, but comparing yourself to them isn’t helpful. The point of life is to live it in your own terms and at your own pace, and that should be the main focus. For the same reason, don’t let other people’s opinions affect you when it comes to what you find meaningful or how you go about finding your ambition, role or purpose. • JOIN US! Struggling with life? Sign-up to happiness.com and share your story • The takeaway: the point of life So, what is the point of life? If there’s one thing that holds true for most of us, it's that the point of life is to live and experience things to the fullest, whatever that “fullest” means for you right now. Don’t rush your quest for meaning. Instead, make a point of finding joy in what you already have and try your best to feel grounded in the present. At some point, you’ll find the answer you’re looking for, and in the meantime, enjoy the journey! • Main image: shutterstock/Song_about_summer Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.