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  1. Greetings Happiness Friends: Starting 12/14/2019 please offer your 12 days of Mindful Happiness. You can do 1 each day or compile a list for 12 days, either way you will feel good! This is a way to reduce our holiday stress and do some self care/love. So join in....will expire 12/25/19! Be mindful, b happy,
  2. Mindful meditation is a popular and pretty basic type of meditation. If you deal with anxiety or depression it can be very helpful in minimizing those conditions. Mindfulness means to be present and fully engaged with whatever you’re doing in the moment. Mindfulness meditation is the practice of being mindful — being aware — of exactly what you are doing in this present moment. You can practice mindfulness meditation at any time, anywhere, doing anything — walking in the park, washing dishes, or getting dressed in the morning. In short, it simply means to be one hundred percent involved in whatever activity you are currently engaged in — and not worrying about the future, stressing about the past, or thinking about any distractions.
  3. Which are the best happiness apps out there on the market? Rae Bathgate selects the top six that you'll want to ring home about. Apple coined the phrase “there's an app for that,” and it's true many of us tend rely on our smartphones and apps for so much these days. There are apps for music, dating, exercising, health, transport, learning new languages, and even tuning a guitar. But what are some of the best happiness apps out there? There are so many happiness apps these days, how do you know which are the best? Well, below I review six of the top science-based happiness apps to reveal their strengths and weaknesses. The best happiness apps are, first and foremost, free (at least for a trial run). Many also use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) as a basis for their concept. While apps are indeed very different than an hour of talk therapy with a counsellor, the way that apps can work within the realm of CBT is to try to modify your thinking patterns and by helping you to change patterns of behaviour through repetition. This can be of help if you are trying to stop ruminating. Who uses happiness apps? There are various reasons why self-care apps can be a positive addition to your life and push you a little bit closer towards your quest to happiness. They're more common than you think, and people already tend to use the iPhone, an extension of themselves, as a way to learn more about and to be more in tune with their mind. Get appy: which happiness apps boost your well-being? Indeed, according to Nature, about 29 per cent of “disease-specific mobile health apps” are focused on mental health. For example, two common mental health related apps for more dire circumstances are the PTSD Coach app or FOCUS for users with schizophrenia. While these two don't illustrate why the average happy hunter uses happiness apps, they have some of the same benefits. So, can an app really make you happier? First of all, the best happiness apps are helpful for those with a busy schedule, as they are always available. After all, you never know when you’ll need help. The app also interacts positively with the user. Just like getting constant notifications or updates on social media might be stressful, receiving reminders to do a task or maybe an affirmation just when you need it could help you feel a lot better. “Apps within the realm of CBT try to modify your thinking patterns and by helping you to change your patterns of behaviour through repetition.” While not all the apps are free, many beat the cost of going to see a mental health professional, and, what’s more, the stigma of going to see a specialist unfortunately still exists. Some of the advantages of using happiness apps are: You can practice them everywhere; If you use them as much as you use your smartphone, you'll use them regularly; It can remind you to be happier if you forget; Many of them are cost effective, if not free. Of course, it's important to remember that happiness and health apps are an excellent way to keep working towards better mental health at the forefront of your everyday life and can consolidate healthy habits, but even the best happiness apps by no means replace visiting a mental health professional, or even just simple human contact. Think of these happy apps like vitamins – supplements are great, but they can never replace the real thing. So, without further ado – and in no particular order – here's our pick of the best happiness apps on the market right now. 1. Happify Android: Free iPhone: Free Happify comes in both website and app form, and claims to: increase happiness through fun activities and games; help you learn life-changing habits based on science; reduce stress and build skills for a happy healthy life. The Happify app has various “scientifically validated tracks” that are suggested to you after you take a short questionnaire detailing your life and health. Each track has a theme and is divided into parts (usually four). These are then divided into activities, ranging from guided meditations to reflective writing assignments to fun games. How many tracks depends on if you pay the monthly subscription or downloaded the free version. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Happify app: an overview of this happiness application For the more socially minded, there's a community page with inspirational comments from other users. You can add your own too to brighten someone else’s day since it’s proven to make you feel happier. There are 58 'core activities' to begin with, with different variations, adding up to an amazing 1,200 various activities in total. These activities were designed with the help of a psychology professor, and they range from asking you to write down what you’re looking forward to in general, or looking forward to doing for a friend. Each of the 58 activities has a “Why it works” icon next to it, to explain you more about the science behind the fun games. Every two weeks, your phone gives you a happiness check-in. “While not all the best happiness apps are free, many beat the cost of going to see a mental health professional.” The reception for Happify app has been overall positive. In fact, 86 per cent of the app's users reported feeling better about their lives after just two months of using it during testing, with many reporting feeling more motivated and productive, indicating that it helps people to solidify positive, helpful habits that are the framework for a more confident and happy life. Happify app allows you develop life-changing habits Users can also access Happify Daily – free content based around happiness – as well as the Happify community and forum. And, if you really feel the app is working for you, you can unlock the full range of actives and reports by subscribing to Happify Plus. So, as a recap, here's why you should download the Happify app: It helps you build resilience for stressful experiences; It helps you build happy, healthy habits tied to positive thinking; Since even reflecting on happy memories releases happiness hormones, you can boost your well-being by making a digital scrapbook to remind you of sunnier pastures when you feel blue. 2. Happy Habits Android: free iPhone: unavailable The Happy Habits app describes itself as relying heavily on the principles of CBT, and that it works by helping to “create the conditions for happiness in [the user's] life. It starts out by giving its users a 119-item test to assess their happiness based on 14 factors; then, they administer results and suggestions, through games and soothing audios to talk you through your quest for happiness. Another Happy Habits feature are Emotion Training Audios. These are to help with managing emotions so that you can be more aware and cultivate a more positive attitude, best used when you feel overwhelmed by anger, sadness, or stress. Happy Habits: a sneak peak inside this well-being app Then, if you're feeling particularly anxious, you can also use the Relaxation Audios to unwind and to learn deep relaxation. Or, for those of you who like to find out more about the concept and the history of the pursuit of happiness, there's their Choosing Happiness Audio to delve into the idea of and search for well-being. For those of you who like to cross things off of a list, the Happy Habits app also features a Customisable Happy 'to do' list. “The best happiness are free (at least for a trial run). Many also use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) as a basis for their concept.” Like most of the best happy apps, it's gamified, which means using it is fun, rather than a chore, with a points feature that helps you to keep track of progress. Users who like to write and keep track of their thoughts will be happy to know that the app also has a happiness journal for writing personal affirmations and recording positive events to look back on later. The Happy Habits design is a little retro, but it uses positive colours like yellow and orange, and it’s customizable. So, a recap of why you should use Happy Habits: It's based on CBT, a method that's proven to help depression and anxiety; It has a large variety of calming audios for you to listen to in the car, on the bus, or at home; It gives you a gratitude scrapbook to look back on when you need to cheer up. 3. SuperBetter Android: free iPhone: free Building resilience – the ability to stay strong, motivated and optimistic – even in the face of change and difficult challenges is tough. But the makers behind the SuperBetter app believe that using their tool will unlock your heroic potential so you can overcome tough situations and achieve goals that matter most. RELATED: Happiness podcasts – 8 that we rate At the heart of SuperBetter is the Live Gamefully® method, a framework that brings the psychological strengths and mindset of gameplay to real life. The method promotes new levels of personal growth as a result of stress and change. That's why it's called SuperBetter. A key part of building happiness is developing resilience. While bouncing back from life’s challenges is important, it’s not easy. SuperBetter makes the process easier by taking you through a series of activities that help you build resilience while reducing anxiety and depression, leading to a happier life. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } XX Feeling super: SuperBetter founder Jane McGonigal The SuperBetter app has gamified the process of building happiness by creating short and simple activities that you complete as you head off on quests to build happiness-boosting skills. Completing the activities provide you with quick wins to jump-start your happiness journey. With SuperBetter you become the hero of the app, as you gain points and power by completing and tracking daily activities. Simple tasks such as taking a walk or drinking a glass of water count as a step toward your ultimate goal. You can also do it with a secret identity and superhero story of your choosing. The SuperBetter lets you collect power-ups on your quests, fight off bad guys, and get help from allies. One of our best happiness apps: SuperBetter Another unique thing about the SuperBetter app is that it's heavily science-backed. A study by the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia found that when people played SuperBetter for 30 days, their mood improved, symptoms of anxiety and depression decreased, and self-belief to achieve goals increased. So, a recap of why you should use the SuperBetter app: Gamified and fun; Helps you to build resilience, adopt new habits, improve skills and strengthen relationships; Research has shown it has positive results. 4. HAPPY Android: free iPhone: free OK, call us biased, but we really think our own app, HAPPY, is also one of the best happiness apps on the market too! One of the most significant factors to impact our happiness is a sense of community, and that's what HAPPY, our own well-being app, focuses on. Many of the apps on this list aim to improve our mental health, foster resilience and actively build our capacity to live happier lives by offering concrete personal exercises such as gratitude journals, mindfulness exercises, creating healthy habits, etc. These are all practical measures which we at happiness.com highly recommend. However, they are primarily done in solitude and through introspection. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } The HAPPY app makes use of the key feature of the happiness.com platform – community. It's a happiness app that allows you to be in touch with people worldwide to share your struggles and support each other. To find strength in our shared humanity, our imperfection, and our deep care for each other and the planet. HAPPY is an app that aims to build a community and to use it to elevate your well-being through: Joining a conscious, global community. Engaging in big topics and intimate conversations. Sharing common interests and new perspectives. Building mutual support through shared struggles. Everyone experiences ups and downs, but how do we master the downs skillfully? The HAPPY app facilitates a safe and mutually supportive community where tools, practices and experiences enable everyone to live happy and fulfilled lives. HAPPY: our well-being app focuses on community For example, are you awake at 3am full of anxiety? Share your struggles live on the HAPPY app, and who knows where in the world someone else will be awake who relates to your experience and has kind words of support. Maybe you are in the metro on the way to work, and you can be the person who is offering those accepting words and emotional support. The HAPPY App is the mobile addition to happiness.com: your pocketful of happiness. Making the healing power of human connection – the happiness community – accessible on your phone. 5. Happier Android: unavailable iPhone: free Happier is an Apple app on a mission: to make sure you appreciate life to the fullest. Happier app was developed by Nataly Kogan, a TEDtalk speaker who emigrated from Russia when she was young and went through hard times, escaping oppression in the Soviet Union while her family got on their feet in the Detroit projects. Allegedly, Kogan vowed to find happiness, first looking towards success and wealth to achieve it. Quite understandably, this did not lead her where she wanted, so she turned towards her father's work – science – to see what next steps she could take. Happier app: an overview of what's inside In practice, the app works by helping you to be "more present and positive throughout the day," working like a life appreciation platform, or a personal life coach. Each day it prompts you to write what you're most grateful for, be it the sun shining on your back, a moment spent with a loved one, making every stoplight on the street, or getting your favourite ice cream – you can even add pictures • JOIN US! Discover more tips on happiness with our open and inspired community • These are moments that you might not notice if not for Happier, with which you can "create, collect and share those tiny positive moments." Ways you can use it are to lift your mood, take a meditation break, or enjoy the moments that make your day happier. “Happier app works by helping you to be 'more present and positive throughout the day', working like a life appreciation platform, or even a personal life coach.” The Happier app is portable and can be used on Apple watch as well, acting as your gratitude journal. It also offers “bite-sized, expert-led courses,” to teach you more about the practice and science of happiness on which the app is based, breaching subjects like strength, calmness, and gratitude. What's more, it works as a sort of happiness social media platform, where you can connect to those around you (if you want, since sharing publicly is entirely optional) and get inspired by their gratitude posts. There's something very zen about Happier, an app which urges you to think of happiness, not like a feeling, but more like a muscle to be trained and on which you can rely on your day-to-day life. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } So, here's a recap as to why you should use the Happier app: Instead of selling you unattainable happiness, it helps you to appreciate what you already have; To keep a picture, easily updatable scrapbook on what you're most grateful for; It helps you learn more about the science behind positive psychology. 6. Yolife Android: free iPhone: free A relative newcomer into the happiness app scene, Yolife is described as 'your personal coach to live longer in good health'. Indeed, the vision of the Yolife founders is to add 15 healthy years to the lives of at least one million people in the world. And what does great health bring? Greater happiness, that's what. Signing up via log-in or Facebook, the first stage of Yolife involves completing an engaging health consultation, answering questions about your health, habits, exercise, social life and such. Your responses determine just how many extra healthy years they suggest you'll live in good health. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Love life: Yolife wants you to live longer in great health Furthermore, with each answer you give there's a scientific explanation behind it and the chance to read more. Indeed, Yolife is thoroughly research-based, using clinical studies and advisory board for input. The design is modern and sleek, with a refreshing sense of humor in the texts, too. After completing the consultation you can see how many estimated healthy years you have. What comes next is your personalized programme of activities which aims to boost those healthy years further by helping you to discover which areas you have the greatest potential to improve. The programme includes classes on subjects such as optimal sleeping conditions, the purpose of life, sex makes you live longer (!), different ways of fasting, and plenty more. “The vision of the Yolife app is to add 15 healthy years to the lives of at least one million people in the world.” Yolife co-founder Tassilo Weber has his own definition of happiness which is very much present in the app: "I'm not only an entrepreneur, I also studied philosophy and still consider myself a philosopher by heart. Therefore, the pursuit and definition of happiness has always been a major topic in my life. And that influence cannot be hidden, as you use the Yolife app. The happiness app Yolife has a sleek, smart design “There's even one full session called “A formula for happiness”. It boils down to two things: 1. Find and follow a purpose. 2. Stay healthy for as long as possible. With these two pillars in place, happiness has the best chance to thrive. As Yolife is an app that helps you to live longer in good health and guided by purpose, I consider happiness as one of the main value propositions that we intend to bring to at least one million people.” So, here's a recap as to why you should use the Yolife: Science-backed suggestions on practical life changes; Track your progress and growth Sleek, modern design and great colours; The best happiness apps: conclusions Of course, using these happiness apps alone won't be enough to change your life. Spending too much time on your smartphone – even on happiness apps – won't give you time to put what you learn on these apps into practice. Still, there is science to back up the claims behind these programs. For example, a meta-analysis of 51 “positive-interventions” like mindfulness activities, gratitude writing, and goal-setting found them to “significantly enhance well-being and decrease depressive symptoms.” More specifically, one of the main ideas behind the majority of these apps, counting your blessings, has been proven to make you happier. We invite you to try out what we think are the best happiness apps to see what works best for you, and what pushes you to do the little things that will make your life better. Let us know below in the comments which ones have helped you the most! ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Learning | Mindfulness | Meditation | Coaching Written by Rae Bathgate Rae Bathgate is an American journalist based in Barcelona, where she enjoys sunlight, yoga, and bookbinding.
  4. In navigating my journey through depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges, I've found solace in embracing non-pharmacological and non-opioid pain management techniques. These methods, distinct from medication, have provided me a holistic approach to healing. Through mindfulness, exercise, therapy, and creative outlets, I've discovered powerful tools that empower me to overcome hurdles while prioritizing my mental well-being.
  5. Yes, happiness is a choice and not a result of achievements or purchases. Learn how to maintain your happy vibe with these eight tips from Calvin Holbrook. As editor of this happiness magazine, you'd be forgiven for thinking that I leap out of bed each morning after a restful sleep with a grin on my face, full of great intentions for the day ahead. Not so! Indeed, for the main part, for me, happiness is a choice rather than my natural state of being. In fact, like all of us, I’m not happy all the time (let’s face it, that would just be weird). In reality, for me, authentic happiness doesn't signify a lack of negative feelings such as sadness and pain, but an ability to experience a wide spectrum of emotions while managing to appreciate – and stay focused on – the positive things that I do have in my life. According to psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, roughly 50 per cent of our natural happiness level is genetically determined (our so-called happiness set point). I believe my own happiness set point started out lower down the scale, but, with work, I’ve managed to boost it because – over time and consistently – I’ve made the choice to be happy, even when my life circumstances and situation were telling me otherwise. Choosing to be happy is a constant effort, and to be honest, it’s not something that comes naturally. In fact, I’ve had to train myself to think happy. Indeed, like millions of us, I’ve struggled with periods of depression and anxiety, had to live with periods of debilitating panic attacks or episodes of rumination that have beaten my mental health and happiness down. Along the way, I’ve learned that these problems should not define me or my mood. Indeed, I can still see happiness as a choice, but it requires focus and effort to stay positive (and, of course, professional help or medication when appropriate). Happiness fuels success, not vice versa Most people go through life thinking that happiness is something that happens to them as a result of success or something good happening, for example, getting a pay rise or getting 100 new likes on their latest Instagram post. Indeed, large parts of the population don’t realize that happiness is a choice, and instead go through the motions in life, waiting for joy to pop up and slap them in the face! Stay smiling: make the choice to be happy However, science shows that this type of instant gratification doesn’t really make us happy (not in the long-term, anyway). In fact, there is no magic pill to finding happiness. However, there is one thing that is required to boost well-being, and that is work. Work? Ugh! I’m afraid so. Because happiness is a choice, it needs to be worked at consistently, with effort, care and dedication on your behalf. • JOIN US! Sign-up free now to access online courses in our Academy • In fact, I believe the root to happiness is in the work you put into it. You have to commit to being happy, prioritize it, focus on it, and remain disciplined as much as possible, even in those dark and difficult days – especially on those dark days! If happiness is a choice, how can I work on it? It sounds staggering, but it’s reported that we make around 35,000 remotely conscious decisions every single day. From seemingly inconsequential stuff about choosing what to eat and what clothes to wear, to bigger things like who to love, how to spend our free time, whether to move city or quit the job we feel stuck in. Some of our choices turn out to be great and others not so. What they have in common though is that all of these choices are based in our deep desire to be happy. These choices make up part of our ‘life activity’. As mentioned earlier, genetics make up roughly half of happiness levels. The remainder depends on our circumstances (10 per cent) and this so-called ‘life activity’ (40 per cent). "Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy.” Ralph Marston While we cannot always control our circumstances, we do have more control over our life activity. And if that life activity is said to be responsible for almost 40 per cent of our happiness, we can focus on making better choices here to increase our happiness levels. In fact, we can even make choosing happiness as one life choice! OK, I hear what you might be thinking: all of this is easier said than done. Life is tough. Shit happens. Stuff gets in the way. True, there are many challenging things that we will experience in life and we know that the only certainty is change, so we will always face upheavals. This doesn't mean that all of life is bad, it just means that life is not easy. But happiness does not come from your circumstances or your situation. Happiness comes from a choice that you make within. Learning how to choose happiness I’ve had to train my brain to choose happiness, even when my circumstances suggested the opposite. I believe I’ve boosted my natural happiness set point by carrying out specific ‘feel happier’ activities. If you're struggling to find the root of happiness, incorporate these eight science-backed tips into your daily life and you may start to feel happier. Stick at it, put in the hard work, and you should see results. 1. Choose gratitude and look on the bright side No matter how bad life seems, there’s always something positive you can find to focus on. It could be the fact you have a place to live, friends and family that love you, have clothes to wear, or even that you have eyes to see and legs to walk with. There are millions of people in the world that don't have some of these things. RELATED: 5 benefits of gratitude practice Since happiness is a choice, start finding things in your life that you're grateful for. It could also be seemingly small, general things that we often take for granted, such as the smell of cut grass, the sound of the ocean, etc. Writing these things down in a gratitude journal helps to solidify your happiness further. Try jotting down three good things about every day: studies have shown that doing this increases optimism, reduces anxiety, and chemically changes the brain to be more positive. 2. Choose to think positively Try to live by the ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ anecdote. Focusing on positive thoughts and trying to reducing negative thinking is easier said than done, but give the following technique a try. Each time you have a negative thought, simply replace it with a positive one. This practice will help to retrain your habitual thought patterns to bring more positive thoughts and happiness into your life. Changing perspective on your situation will help you find happiness. If you’ve made a mistake – however big – try to focus on your past achievements instead, actually visualizing your previous successes and happy times. 3. Choose to smile Turn that frown upside down! One of the most important figures in the fields of mindfulness and meditation, Thích Nhất Hạnh once wrote, “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”’ Indeed, studies have shown that smiling and other external expressions work as a continual feedback loop, helping to reinforce our internal emotions. A study by scientists at the University of Kansas found that making yourself smile can help lower your heart rate during stressful activities. So, smiling even when we feel down will gradually makes us feel happier (and healthier). Try smiling at strangers, too: as well as being a choice, happiness is also contagious. Grin gains: force a smile and choose to feel happier 4. Choose kindness When you choose to do kinds acts for other people, so-called happiness hormones are released, boosting your serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of well-being and satisfaction. Endorphin levels also rise, leading to a phenomenon known as a 'helper’s high’. • JOIN US! Discover more tips on happiness with our open and inspired community • Another physical benefit of kindness is that it can help to lower anxiety. Social anxiety is associated with low positive affect (PA), which relates to an individual’s experience of positive moods such as joy, interest, and alertness. A four-week study on happiness from the University of British Columbia found that participants who engaged in kind acts displayed major increases in their PA levels that were maintained during the study duration. 5. Choose meaningful relationships/interactions Research shows that happier people have rewarding social relationships. Indeed, we humans are a social species and need regular contact. In fact, loneliness is proven to decrease levels of happiness and recent studies show it can be as harmful to mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. So, to make a happiness a choice, choose quality friendships. In fact, even a short positive interaction with a stranger can contribute to you feeling happier. 6. Choose to be more mindful Mindfulness meditation is an easy way to try to increase your happiness levels. Start your day with just 10-15 minutes of meditation, shortly after waking: the immediate heightened inner clarity and focus it will give you will set you up for what’s ahead. Many studies have shown that mediation can boost happiness levels by reducing stress hormones, shrinking the part of the brain that controls anxiety, and by stopping rumination, amongst other things. “No matter how bad life seems, there’s always something positive you can find to focus on. Since happiness is a choice, start finding things in your life that you’re grateful for.” And, according to Psychology Today, meditation is the strongest mental practice that has the power to reset your happiness set point, thus turning you into a more joyful person and literally rewiring major areas in your brain so you can feel happier. 7. Choose a purpose Meaningfulness is a happy factor that you can extend into your whole life. Whether it's volunteering, gardening, or becoming politically active, activities with a purpose have been shown to boost people's happiness and reduce stress levels at the same time. A study from the Annals of Behavioral Medicine found that people who took part in such activities became 34 per cent less stressed and 18 per cent less sad. 8. Choose to be satisfied Ex-US President Theodore Roosevelt once said, “comparison is the thief of joy.” And in today’s Insta-ready society this rings true more than ever. In a social media savvy world, flaunting your money, travels and other supposed successes or happiness is all too common, especially with the younger generation. However, if happiness is a choice, then comparing yourself to other people will only result in unhappiness. Rate your mates: quality friendships bring happiness In fact, data from a 2010 survey of 19,000 Europeans showed that those who compared their incomes to others were less happy with what they had. The comparisons that were most damaging to happiness were when people compared their incomes to those of school and university friends (even though we know that money can’t buy happiness, right?) Choose to be satisfied with what you have and stop comparing your life to that of others: reduce the time you spend scrolling through social media. Conclusions: why happiness is a choice Abraham Lincoln is famously quoted as saying, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” And he was right. Happiness is a choice but also a daily practice that requires time, effort and dedication. By carrying out our suggestions above, you should hopefully start to see some benefits. But, if you still fail to feel happy, take time to think through your actions. Are you doing the things you need to choose happiness or are you letting your emotions take control? If you’re trying to feel happier and you remain down or struggling with depression, consult with your GP or therapist to seek professional help. Happiness is a choice and choosing help is a also a great step to getting started if you’re feeling blocked. • Choosing happiness becomes easier when you have the right tools to help you. Sign up free to happiness.com today to access our online Academy and share and support others in our forums. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Gratitude | Thich Nhat Hanh | Purpose of Life Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, as well being an artist and lover of travel, swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.
  6. Dealing with the difficulties that life throws at us can be a struggle, but by staying resilient you can cope better and feel stronger. So, from writing it all out to practising forgiveness, here are five science-baked strategies for building resilience. People often try to cope with difficult situations and stressful periods in their lives by simply putting on a brave face – or even burying their heads in the sand and pretending that their problems aren't happening. The issue with this approach is that it fails to deal with the feelings that the situation brings up. Indeed, burying negative feelings for a long time can lead to anxiety and/or depression. Resilience refers to your capacity to recover from difficulties and ability to bounce back. Instead of pushing yourself or simply surviving, building resilience techniques will help you to stay resilient and cope better with the inevitable challenges that life throws at all of us. Staying resilient: 5 techniques to try There are many times throughout our life journey when will need to try and stay resilient. It could be because we are experiencing problems or conflicts at work or at home. Or it may be due to a more traumatic event, such as the death of a parent, serious illness, or losing a home. Of course, being and staying resilient doesn't mean that you won't experience difficulty or distress. However, by building and strengthening your resilience, you'll give yourself a better chance of coping with stress. Start by practising these five strategies for building resilience during times of adversity. 1. Tell a different story Have you ever gone over and over something bad that's happened to you in your head? Perhaps you wonder how you could have behaved differently? Known as rumination, this reliving of painful experiences does nothing to help us move on and can even lead to depression. Instead, you need to find ways of resetting your thoughts. One way to do this is called expressive writing. This involves writing down anything that comes into your head, on whatever is bothering you. This will allow you to examine your thoughts and confront them. You don't have to be great at writing; the aim is just to get your thoughts and feelings out. The write way: stay resilient by putting your thoughts on paper A study from 1998 compared expressive writers with those who wrote about superficial topics. It found that those who carried out expressive writing for four days were healthier six weeks later and also happier up to three months later. Another exercise is called 'finding silver linings'. Although it first it may not seem as though there are any benefits to a bad experience, in fact, if you did deeper you may gain insight. Perhaps this challenging experience you've been through has shown you who your real friends are, or taught you that you're stronger than you thought. These exercises will help you feel less pessimistic and you can maintain the benefits by continuing to practice them and stay resilient. “Instead of simply surviving, staying resilient helps you to cope with the inevitable challenges that life throws at you.” This resilience-building technique is also backed up by science. A 2014 study showed that finding silver linings daily for three weeks helped participants become more engaged with life afterward. It also decreased their pessimistic beliefs over time. 2. Confront your fears Adopting the practise of rewriting the narrative is useful when dealing with past problems, but doesn't help when dealing with present fears. How can we handle things that have yet to happen? You can start by slowly building up your tolerance, and gradually pushing yourself a little further every time. RELATED: Resilience quotes – 7 powerful sayings to inspire you For example, if you're nervous about taking a long-distance flight but would one day like to visit Australia, begin with a short flight and gradually extend your travels. As you become more comfortable with spending longer in the air, work your way up to a long-haul flight. This works by slowly desensitizing you with gradual and increased exposure to a situation you're afraid of or uncomfortable with. 3. Meditation Meditation and mindfulness are great tools to build resilience. They help us to stay resilient by bringing us back to the present, rather than living in the past or worrying about the future. These techniques also help us to deal with negative feelings. You can try programs like Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), which are designed to show you how to use meditation to improve your mental and physical well-being. Here at happiness.com, we have a free online MBSR course you can take. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged There are also techniques like body scan meditation, which can be used to identify where you hold stress in your body and teach you how to relax. Or, you can develop a more mindful relationship with food, rather than turning to junk food when you're stressed. Multiple studies have shown that MBSR has many health and psychological benefits, especially for those struggling with chronic disease or mental illness. Present (un)tense: become more resilient with meditation 4. Be kind to yourself We're often much harder on ourselves than we would be on other people, and think that we're alone in our fears. But being kind to yourself is essential to your well-being, so ensure you can stay resilient by practising self-compassion, and be as kind to yourself as you would be to others. This strategy to build resilience involves a three-step process: Start by being mindful of your feelings, but don't judge them. Simply acknowledge them. Remind yourself that everyone feels this way at some point. Finish by giving yourself permission to have these feelings and accept yourself as you are. If you find this difficult, ask yourself how you would treat a friend who was experiencing the same problems: you would almost certainly show kindness to them, so do the same for yourself. You can also try writing a letter to yourself, making sure it contains only words of compassion and acceptance. Be kind to yourself: self-compassion builds resilience 5. Forgiveness Forgiving others may be difficult, but holding on to grudges is also not a route to happiness. How can your well-being develop properly if you're living in the past? Begin by acknowledging what has happened, but then decide to give up your feelings of resentment so that you can move on. Contrary to what you might believe, forgiveness is for your own sake, not that of others; you will benefit from understanding other people more or finding ways in which you can learn from a painful experience. Remember that everyone is human, and the person who wronged you may be suffering their own issues. “Meditation and mindfulness are great tools to build resilience. They bring us back to the present, rather than living in the past or worrying about the future.” A 2011 study tested forgiveness against the alternatives — ruminating on negative feelings or repressing them— and found that cultivating compassion meant participants felt more empathy, positive emotions and feelings of control: all signs of building resilience and staying resilient. How to stay resilient: conclusions We all experience difficulties in life and some of us cope with the stress better than others. However, if you're struggling, you can learn skills to build resilience and stay stronger. Viewing negative experiences in a different light can help you to stay resilient and teach you how to cope with difficult situations in the future – something that will inevitably occur at various points throughout the rest of your life. ● Main image: Colorbox.com Written by Guest author We're happy to publish articles by guest authors that will broaden the perspective and bring new insights. If you're interested in publishing an article here on happiness.com, please contact us.
  7. What do you guys think about this interesting product? LaBird – Creative & Mindful balance for Body & Mind A new experience designed to unleash your creativity, to practice concentration, and to inspire a mindful living. Check out the KickStarter Special Offer below (Until 15 Aug) http://kck.st/2OCLmBe LaBird_Refine_Balance_Intro_2019_Launch_KS.mp4
  8. There were many feel-good health and environmental stories in the press in February. Ed Gould rounds up his Top 10 from the past month to uplift and inspire you. During February the situation in Ukraine rightly dominated the news headlines. However, there were also many positive news stories flying under the radar. In case you missed them, here's a recap of some of the uplifting stories that offer us some hope for the world in these difficult times. 1. Majority of people would ban single-used plastics Plastic may be a versatile material that we all use every day. However, single-use plastics are becoming increasingly unpopular. While the British supermarket, Tesco, announced in February that it would ban single-use baby wipes from its stores if they're made from plastics, a global survey reported most people would prefer to do away with them completely. Indeed, according to Reuters, three-quarters of people around the world back the banning of single-use plastics, something that more shops, manufacturers and governments are likely to take notice of. 2. Dietary change offers startlingly good results Few people truly appreciate that a healthy diet is great for their well-being. However, unless they suffer from a particular condition that is affected by dietary intake, the results of adopting a healthy food lifestyle can be quite intangible. But, according to a report by CNN, doing so may be much more beneficial than we had first thought. This is because a new scientific study in the US has discovered that healthy diets can add as much as 13 years to the human lifespan. That's an astonishingly good result for eating more broccoli and avoiding convenience foods! Discover more about good mood foods that can boost your happiness and improve your mental health. RELATED: 10 easy ways to supercharge your breakfast 3. Long Covid symptoms can be improved with mindfulness In an article written by Susan M Pollak, a clinical instructor at the Harvard Medical School, and published in Psychology Today, it has been suggested that long COVID sufferers could benefit from adopting mindfulness techniques. According to Pollak, the idea is that long COVID symptoms tend to revolve around an abnormal immune response that has been linked to increased inflammation. Given that mindfulness has already been shown to be beneficial in helping people dealing with inflammation, Pollak suggests that it's offered to those living with long COVID as a viable treatment pathway. Mindful behaviour could help those with long COVID shutterstock/maxpetrov 4. Sound waves used to help stimulate bone growth According to a report in Bio News, stem cell researchers are now deploying the power of sound waves to help them promote create better bone growth. It's hoped that the new technique will help people with certain degenerative diseases as well as cancers that affect the normal regeneration of bones. The work was pioneered at the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology in Australia and uses high-frequency sound waves to trigger change responses in stem cells that go on to promote growth. • JOIN US! Sign up to learn more about meditation and mindfulness • 5. Cheap water desalination technology developed According to the official news outlet of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, a team of researchers there, along with Chinese colleagues, have come up with an inexpensive way to turn salt and wastewater into drinking water by removing impurities with little energy. The availability of fresh water is a big problem for people, livestock and crops in many places. This new system uses passive solar energy to remove salt from water through natural convection. It's hoped the method will soon help people to recover usable water from numerous sources without having to rely on man-made energy sources. 6. Exercise boosts memory function A PhD student at the University of Pittsburgh, Sarah Aghjayan, has published a paper that suggests aerobic exercise, even if it isn't conducted for very long, is good for memory function in later life. The research shows that people who exercise frequently, even in short bursts, are more likely to be able to better remember things as they age. According to a press report about the findings in the i newspaper, the effect is most noticeable in people in their late-50s and early-60s but even older people also get a benefit, too. Aghjayan reckons that anyone who exercises about three times a week for anything from 15 to 50 minutes should benefit from improved memory function when they reach their late middle age. Exercise shown to boost memory function in older generations shutterstock/Rocketclips, Inc. 7. MBSR helps with migraine-related pain It has long been known that mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) has a wide range of health benefits, but a recently published study focussed on its particular properties with respect to migraines. So-called episodic pain from these types of headaches is common among migraine sufferers. What the researchers found was that the mesocorticolimbic system function was improved by motivated behaviour, the sort of thing that happens during an MBSR meditation session, for example. A 12-week long programme of MBSR practice was compared in a trial. Fewer headaches were reported in that time among the group who took part compared to those who did not. RELATED: Free online MBSR course 8. Crops grow better when placed under red filters Simply placing plants under red filters when they're grown in greenhouses leads to crop yield increases of over a third, it has been discovered. Red spectrum light means that plants tend to put more energy into the production of chlorophyll, something that results in more growth. Scientists in Australia believe the discovery will mean more and more greenhouse producers will turn to reddened glazing as more crops per hectare can be produced, lowering costs and helping to feed the world more productively, too. 9. Whaling to come to an official end in Iceland Very few countries still hunt whales since a moratorium was brought in among the majority of seafaring nations in the 1980s. That said, a once significant country for commercial whaling has long-continued with the practice. However, in something of a sea change, Iceland has decided it will no longer allow whaling vessels to ply their trade from its ports. The change in the law is due to take effect as soon as 2024. According to reports in the Guardian, this is because its chief market, Japan, is demanding fewer and fewer imports of whale meat. Only Norway and Japan will still allow whales to be hunted commercially. Whaling in Iceland to end officially Craig Lambert Photography 10. Magnesium found to play crucial role in immune response According to a report in Technology Networks, the levels of magnesium people have in their bodies plays an important part in the way their immune response functions. After calcium, magnesium is the second most abundant positively charged ion in the body. This means that it can help to support numerous enzymes, some of which play a vital role in helping our bodies' immune systems to work properly. Work at the University of Basel and the department of medicine at the University of Cambridge is ongoing but early indications seem to demonstrate that all sorts of diseases, including cancer, can be warded off by consuming supplements with magnesium in them. Natural foods like almonds, milk and fish can all assist with magnesium intake, too. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Biology | Sustainability | Biotechnology | Nature Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.
  9. In the workplace, mindfulness and compassion is increasingly becoming more important. Experts in their field, Liz Hall and Luis San Martin talked with Arlo Laibowitz about why these skills are needed more than ever at work. The second International Mindfulness & Compassion at Work Summit took place in Madrid on the 26th and 27th of April 2018. We were able to shoot interviews with five of the amazing speakers, including the co-founders of the summit, Liz Hall and Luis San Martin. They share their thoughts of happiness, compassion and mindfulness at work in the video below. Enjoy! .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Liz Hall is the co-owner/founding editor of Coaching at Work magazine; an award-winning journalist on business and health/well-being; an author/editor; an executive coach, and a trained mindfulness teacher/trainer who works with coaches, leaders and the general public. “If you get people to empty their minds and just listen, amazing things happen.” Luis San Martin Luis San Martin, in addition to being the chair/co-founder of the Association for Coaching Spain, is an executive coach and OD consultant. Luis has an MSc in International Business and his business experience includes CEO responsibilities in multinational companies in several countries. As part of his portfolio, he works with organisations to introduce mindfulness to their employees. Also, watch our interview with Bodhin Philip Woodward on the impact of mindfulness and compassion in your daily life. ● Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.
  10. There were many feel-good health and environmental stories in the press in May, but you may not have spotted them. Ed Gould shares his Top 10 from the past month to uplift and inspire. The month of May often feels as though renewal is taking place as spring is in full swing – in the northern hemisphere, at least – and this means that positive news stories ought to get more attention than they do. Although there were numerous good news stories in May, not all of them got the attention they deserved. Read on to enjoy some of the brightest positive news items from the past few weeks. 1. Lithium shortage may be a thing of the past The world uses lithium for all sorts of things, but one of its primary applications is in rechargeable batteries. And, if the world is to move away from fossil fuels, it will need more battery production – but lithium is already in short supply from traditional sources. However, according to a report in TechCrunch, it could be possible to extract lithium from seawater. It reported that a number of start-up tech companies have plans to extract trace elements of the metal from the world's oceans, thereby potentially reducing the costs of many clean-energy schemes by a significant degree. 2. A healthier lifestyle in your 40s can add six years to your life According to Yahoo News Canada, adopting a healthy lifestyle even in middle age can mean being able to expect a longer lifespan. Cutting back on alcohol, giving up smoking, losing a few pounds and increasing the amount of time you sleep are always advisable, but this report makes it clear that even people who are late adopters of healthy lifestyles can benefit with up to six years more of life expectancy. The report was based on a study conducted in Japan. The findings showed that even people with long-term conditions could benefit in this way if they choose to be more healthy in their 40s. A healthy middle-age can extend life expectancy 3. Age-related memory dysfunction better understood Scientists at Johns Hopkins University in the United States announced that they have pinpointed a mechanism in the human brain that they believe is responsible for the most common type of memory loss. Their results shed light on what happens when age-related memory loss occurs if people are living with dementia conditions such as Alzheimer’s disease. By better understanding the mechanism that controls memory loss in older brains, it's hoped that pharmaceutical companies will be better placed to develop more effective drug treatments that halt or even reverse memory loss as people age. RELATED: Cognitive impairment – 5 ways to reduce the risk as you age 4. Enzyme found that can break plastics down A report in Metro stated that Texan researchers have discovered a particular type of protein that can be used to rid the world of some of its worst plastics, particularly the ones used to make bottles. So-called PET plastics are virtually indestructible naturally but the discovery of the enzyme means this plastic could now be recycled just as other types currently are. At the moment, PET accounts for about a fifth of the globe's plastic consumption. 5. Wounds could heal quicker thanks to nanotechnology Spain's Institute of Bioengineering claims to have developed what it calls “motors” that will physically push antibiotic drugs around wounds – to help them heal more rapidly than they otherwise would. The idea is to make use of the body's viscous fluids to distribute drugs in a more effective way. In addition to treating wounds with antibiotics, the developers have said that it is feasible that the motors – which, in reality, are tiny robots – could also be used to increase the effectiveness of certain anti-cancer drug treatments. According to César de la Fuente, a bioengineer at the University of Pennsylvania who also took part in the project, the nanobots they've developed can actually travel around a wound and clear up an infection as they move. 6. Carbon removal plant starts operations in Hawaii According to a report published by Interesting Engineering, a carbon removal plant that is assisted by the Pacific Ocean has begun operating to help reduce the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. The report also suggested that the fight against global climate change will take many forms but actively taking carbon away from the atmosphere is one of the best ways of dealing with rising levels of CO2. The plant permanently stores CO2 by pumping saltwater into a machine that applies electricity to rearrange the molecules in the fluid. Not only does this help to deal with climate change but it also reduces the acidity of the ocean. The seawater is then returned to the Pacific where it will consequently be more effective at storing carbon thanks to its lower acidity level. 7. Chronic pain treated by mindfulness is effective A report by the BBC stated that the mental health outcomes of people living with chronic pain – pain that is suffered to some extent for at least 12 weeks – can lead to numerous examples of poor mental health outcomes. Staying mindful could help people cope with chronic pain However, when mindfulness exercises are used to help deal with them, they can be highly effective. Crucially, the news report looked into the mental health outcomes associated with pain rather than the symptoms of pain themselves. A professor at Oxford University, Willem Kuyken, who is also a director of the Oxford Mindfulness Centre, said that the ability to be in the present moment without judgement was why mindfulness was so effective in this regard and, therefore, an effective treatment method in handling chronic pain. 8. Largest solar farm floated in Portugal The biggest solar array in Europe to be installed on water is expected to begin producing green energy by July. In May it was announced that work had begun fitting solar panels onto a floating substructure. Tugboats have been used to move the 12,000 panels used in the array to help position it on the surface of Portugal's Alqueva reservoir. For context, the number of panels used takes up about the same amount of space as four football fields. When completed, the solar farm should be able to produce 5 megawatts of power, according to a report in EuroNews. Largest solar farm has been built in Portugal shutterstock/pan denim 9. New device developed to detect skin cancers early A handheld gadget has been developed that could help clinicians to identify skin cancer much more easily. Rather than asking people to come into clinics for diagnoses, the portable device can be used anywhere and provide people with on-the-spot results. Researchers at Stevens Institute of Technology came up with the system and hope it could mean many fewer skin biopsies will be needed in the future. 10. 3-D printing deployed to help marine habitats The world's coral reefs have been under threat for some time. However, a new technology has been developed that it's hoped will help to preserve these delicate eco-systems. Israeli scientists have been working on 3-D printed replicas of the sort of habitats that corals like. The idea is to boost current restoration efforts in coral reefs by integrating the manufactured versions with existing reefs to add to the natural eco-system currently in place. • Main image: shutterstock/TananyaaPithi happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Biology | Sustainability | Biotechnology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.
  11. Gardening offers a huge range of mental health benefits, from reducing stress and depression to boosting your immune system. Dee Marques explores seven science-backed reasons to get busy in the garden and boost your well-being. When it comes to strengthening our mental health and finding happiness, common suggestions include taking up a creative hobby, meditation, physical activity, and building solid relationships with others. But did you know that getting green-fingered with gardening could also play an important role in achieving and maintaining happiness and mental well-being? Indeed, the mental health benefits of gardening are many. That could perhaps help explain why gardening seems to be the national pastime in many countries, such as in the UK. According to a recent survey, 80 per cent of British people believe gardening had a positive impact on their mental health, and that the benefits were even better than hitting the gym. Survey participants also said that gardening gave them a stronger sense of achievement than tasks like tidying up or cleaning. Furthermore, a research study published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine found that gardening for as little as 10 minutes per week had a positive impact on health and reduced the risk of developing heart disease. When looking into these studies, what stands out is that we don’t need to spend endless hours in the garden, or even have a traditional garden at all to enjoy it mental health benefits. That's because gardening is within everyone’s reach; you can get started regardless of space or time limitations. For example, using a window box to grow herbs. But before we dig deeper, let's take a quick look at where the concept of gardening for mental health comes from. The healing power of gardening through history The connection between people, nature and mental well-being is rooted in history and goes back to ancient Egypt, where royals who felt mentally restless were encouraged to go for walks in their gardens. Eventually, gardening was tested as a clinical therapy during the 18th and 19th centuries. At around the same time, one of the founding fathers of modern psychology, Benjamin Rush, believed that getting hands-on (and hands dirty) in the garden had a healing effect on his patients. A few decades later, greenhouses and gardens were added to rehabilitation units of hospitals who treated world war veterans. RELATED: How Connecting With Nature Benefits Our Well-Being Fast forward to the present day, and the concept of therapeutic horticulture is practised all over the world. From Italy to Singapore, there are certified horticultural therapy gardens that bring the benefits of gardening for mental health to people of all ages and walks of life. Smells great, feels great! Gardening boosts your mental well-being shutterstock/Dean Drobot This renewed interest in gardening is also a result of changing demographics. The number of elderly people continues to grow in many countries of the Western world, and many have found that gardening is a way of offering support to the growing segment of this population. All this sounds really encouraging, but how exactly can gardening create a sense of happiness and well-being? The 7 mental health benefits of gardening It's clear that gardening for mental health is more than a passing trend. Getting busy with plants is like an escape valve from the pressures and stress of everyday life, but there are other important benefits you won’t want to miss out on. Here are seven ways in which gardening and horticulture therapy can help if you're feeling lonely, low in energy and motivation, or struggling with anxiety. 1. Stress relief One of the main benefits of gardening for mental health is its ability to relieve stress. Researchers saw this relaxing effect when investigating bathing in green or forest bathing, the Japanese concept of walking in forested areas. Gardening also provides a welcome break from our increasingly tech-dominated lives. A study found there were significant differences in mood when comparing participants’ response to two tasks: working on a computer and transplanting. “In a recent survey, 80 per cent of British people believe gardening had a positive impact on their mental health... the benefits were even better than the gym.” When participants were transplanting, they experienced lower stress levels than when they spent time in front of a computer. Researchers also noticed participants had lower blood pressure when transplanting, suggesting there’s a physical basis for the de-stressing effect of gardening. Additionally, research led by Vrije University Medical Centre in the Netherlands showed that simply looking at an image of a green landscape induced relaxation, in contrast to the constant demands for attention of urban landscapes. “Short durations of viewing green pictures may help people to recover from stress,” van den Berg told The New York Times. 2. Grounding and strengthen connections Gardening fosters a sense of grounding, as it helps us to reconnect with our roots as human beings. People who get involved in gardening often experience a deeper sense of belonging and connection with nature. This is no small feat: think about how disconnected the majority of people are from something as basic as the origin of the food they eat. By contrast, gardening grounds you in the value of growing your own food – even if you’re 'only' growing herbs. This sense of grounding also applies to the social sphere. Gardening can help strengthen your connection with others and offers an opportunity to meet people with the same interests. Visiting your nearest urban garden or allotment can connect you with like-minded folk. One benefit of gardening is reduced isolation shutterstock/Tania Kolinko 3. Staying present Staying in the present moment through mindfulness has a long list of benefits, such as reduced rumination and stress reduction. Gardening is a way of practising mindfulness as you need to concentrate on what you're doing. Furthermore, you can also take time to enjoy the beauty around you. Indeed, all tasks related to gardening (such as digging, pruning or weeding) force us to focus on the task in hand, and in doing so we’re more likely to stay in the present and put aside our worries, even if it’s only temporarily. 4. A sense of purpose Another benefit of gardening for mental health is that you can achieve a sense of worth and purpose. This happens when you get directly involved in something that is hands-on and you can see the end result of your effort. There’s a sense of pride and validation in choosing the plants, herbs and flowers that make you happy, and the pride you feel with nurturing them. In fact, studies show that gardening causes an increase in feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin, as helping plants grow stimulates our identity as nurturers. 5. Reduces the risk of Alzheimer's Gardening is related to better brain function and to improved concentration and memory. Some studies have found that it can even reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s and dementia. One long-term study from Australia followed nearly 3,000 older adults for over 15 years, tracking incidence of all types of dementia and assessing a variety of lifestyle factors. The researchers concluded that daily gardening was the single biggest risk reduction for dementia, reducing incidence by over a third – 36 per cent to be precise. “People who get involved in gardening often experience the mental health benefit of a deeper sense of belonging and connection with nature.” The factors that cause Alzheimer’s and its progression are poorly understood. However, as gardening involves so many of our critical functions, such as learning, strength, endurance, dexterity and problem solving, it could be this combination that contributes to warding off the illness in older adults. RELATED: How to Talk to a Parent With Dementia 6. Helps you to keep in shape Gardening involves a lot of physical exercise and so is a form of physical therapy. Weeding, digging, and carrying bags and pots around are all a good workout that can help you keep in shape. According to SAGA magazine, just half an hour of these fat-burning gardening activities can help shift a lot of calories: Digging and shovelling: 250 calories Mowing the lawn: 195 calories Weeding: 105 calories Raking: 100 calories What’s more, regular workouts can help you sleep better, and restful sleep is another essential element in achieving good health. Gardening creates a sense of purpose and achievement shutterstock/Alexander Raths 7. Strengthens your immune system You can strengthen your immune system simply by being exposed to natural light and Vitamin D while you’re gardening outdoors. In turn, this helps build resistance again chronic disease. Interestingly, it's also been suggested that the dirt you end up with under your fingernails may help to boost immunity. Mycobacterium vaccae, a so-called 'friendly' soil bacteria which is common in garden dirt, has been shown to alleviate symptoms of allergies, asthma and psoriasis, all of which can stem from a weakened immune system. In fact, Mycobacterium vaccae has also been shown to reduce depression, so don't be afraid to get your hands dirty: the bacteria can be absorbed by inhalation or ingested from your vegetables. Conclusion: gardening benefits our mental health These are only the proven benefits of gardening for mental health. In this post, we’ve seen that gardening is a natural anti-depressant that can have a powerful reset effect in our minds and bodies. Getting green-fingered is an accessible activity that requires minimal investment. If you have a balcony, a window sill, or even hanging space in your home, you can start gardening and experience a boost in happiness and well-being. It’s that simple! ● Main image: shutterstock/iko happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Organic food | Kitchen garden | Self care Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.
  12. Work is an intrinsic part of our lives, so it’s better if we can enjoy it. Cristina Jardón talked with Arlo Laibowitz about why listening, compassion and mindfulness are essential workplace tools... The second International Mindfulness & Compassion at Work Summit took place in Madrid on the 26th and 27th of April 2018. We were able to shoot interviews with five of the amazing speakers, including Cristina Jardón, an expert trainer in emotional intelligence, mindfulness and self-compassion. This is what she says about herself: "Restless and curious. Here I am. Optimist of birth and by training. Passionate about the simple life, without more. Spirituality and transcendence are two of my great values." Enjoy the full video interview with Cristina below. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Also, part of this mini-series, our interview with Bodhin Philip Woodward on the impact of mindfulness and compassion in your daily life, plus our interview with the organizers of co-founders of the summit, Liz Hall and Luis San Martin and Dr Jutta Tobias on her research on compassion in teams beyond the mindfulness intervention. ● Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.
  13. Supporting someone with anxiety requires understanding, empathy, and patience. Here are some steps you can take to provide effective assistance: Educate Yourself: Learn about anxiety disorders, their symptoms, and common triggers. Understanding what your friend or loved one is experiencing can help you provide more informed and compassionate support. Listen Actively: Encourage open communication. Let the person share their feelings and thoughts without judgment. Sometimes, just having someone to talk to can be incredibly helpful. Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their anxiety as real and valid. Avoid downplaying or dismissing their emotions. Let them know you are there to support them. Be Patient: Anxiety can be overwhelming, and recovery takes time. Be patient with their progress and setbacks. Offer Practical Help: Assist with tasks that might be difficult for them, such as running errands or attending social events. This can help alleviate some of the stress and pressure they might feel. Encourage Professional Help: Suggest seeking therapy or counseling. A mental health professional can provide appropriate strategies and tools to manage anxiety effectively. Respect Their Boundaries: While your support is crucial, it's important to respect their need for space and time alone when necessary. Practice Relaxation Techniques Together: Encourage relaxation techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, meditation, or yoga. You can even do these activities together to make it more enjoyable. Engage in Positive Activities: Encourage participation in activities they enjoy and that promote well-being. Engaging in hobbies and interests can help distract from anxious thoughts. Avoid Enabling: While it's important to be supportive, avoid helping them avoid situations that trigger anxiety. Encouraging gradual exposure to these situations can promote long-term coping skills. Be Mindful of Language: Use language that is positive and supportive. Avoid telling them to "calm down" or implying that they should just "get over it." Stay Connected: Keep in touch regularly, even if it's just to check in. Knowing that someone cares can make a significant difference. Model Healthy Coping: Demonstrate healthy coping strategies in your own life. Your behavior can serve as a positive example. Avoid Alcohol and Drugs: Encourage them to avoid using alcohol or drugs to cope with anxiety, as these can exacerbate the problem. Emergency Plan: If their anxiety becomes overwhelming or they're in crisis, know the signs of a severe anxiety attack and have a plan for seeking immediate professional help. Remember that you are there to support and encourage, but you are not a substitute for professional help. If their anxiety is severely impacting their life, encourage them to seek assistance from a mental health professional. Your role is to be a caring and understanding friend or loved one during their journey towards managing anxiety.
  14. Char, I think your project of starting a mental health wellbeing garden is a wonderful idea. Gardening can have many benefits for people who are struggling with mental health issues, loneliness, or isolation. Here are some thoughts and scriptures that relate and offer support and encouragement to your project: Gardening can help people practice acceptance, gratitude, mindfulness, and hope. It can also reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and anger. It can improve mood, self-esteem, creativity, and cognitive function. It can foster a sense of connection to nature, to others, and to God. Gardening can be a way of expressing God’s love and care for His creation. It can also be a way of receiving God’s love and care for ourselves. God is the ultimate gardener, who planted the first garden in Eden and who makes everything grow according to His plan. Some scriptures that can inspire and motivate you and the people who will join your garden are: Psalm 1:3: “He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.” Isaiah 58:11: “And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.” John 15:1-5: “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” 1 Corinthians 3:6-9: “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God’s fellow workers. You are God’s field, God’s building.” Galatians 6:9: “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” I hope these thoughts and scriptures will help you get your project underway. I wish you all the best in your endeavor. May God bless you and your garden abundantly. 😊 Sincerely In Christ, Katherine Stephenson
  15. As keen birder Calvin Holbrook explains, the mindful nature of bird watching makes it both a happy – and healing – hobby. From reducing stress levels to providing moments of breathtaking awe, discover seven key mental health benefits of bird watching. My interest in bird watching came totally out of the blue. Well, a shade of blue that is: turquoise, in fact. A stunning colour on the gleaming coat of a male kingfisher swooping in front of me on a river walk. My experience with this long-beaked beauty lasted just a couple of seconds – a flash and it was gone – but it will stay with me a lifetime. Furthermore, it sparked a curiosity in me to start ‘birding’ and experience the many mental health benefits bird watching has to offer. Indeed, the timing of the kingfisher showing up couldn't have been better in terms of my own mental health. I'd recently moved back home to care for my seriously ill mother when COVID hit: a double-whammy of new responsibilities, emotional upheaval, pain and challenges. On the upside, I was lucky enough to be based on an island. It provided me with a stunning coastline and a multitude of woods, forests and marshes to explore. My prescribed daily walk in nature kept my sanity under check, and it wasn't until my encounter with the kingfisher that I really began to be aware of all the different types of birds around me. The majestic kingfisher shutterstock/Sacharewicz Patryk In my local park I started noticing the colours of the jay and the excessively loud squarks it would make. On heathland strolls I was lucky enough to spot hard-to-find yellowhammers and the equally rare Dartford Warbler. And during marsh visits I was blessed to witness many of the giant white-tailed eagles that had been released here on the Isle of Wight. Robins, woodpeckers, sparrows; I had my eye on them all. But what I really noticed while watching my feathered friends was the benefits bird watching made to my mental health. While out birding, a sense of calm, grace and awe would regularly wash over me. 7 health benefits of bird watching And it turns out I'm not alone in noticing the multiple mental (and physical) health benefits that bird watching provides. Multiple studies have shown the advantages of bird watching, and with a 2004 survey showing that almost 3 million adults in the UK regularly go birding, that's a lot of people that could be seeing improvements in their mental health. So, here are seven specific ways that bird watching has benefited my mental health – perhaps it will do the same for you, too? 1. It encourages mindfulness Bird watching is essentially an act of mindfulness, and we all know some of the proven health benefits that can bring – reduced rumination and lowered blood pressure to name but two. In fact, practising mindfulness specifically through birdwatching has been scientifically shown to improve mental health. In a 2017 study published in BioScience, scientists from England’s University of Exeter proved that when people witnessed more birds in their daily lives, they experienced reduced prevalence and severity of depression, stress, and anxiety. Furthermore, participants didn’t even need to interact with the birds directly: simply watching them was enough to signify an improvement in mental health. Additionally, research from the University of Surrey has suggested that actively listening to birdsong contributes to perceived stress recovery and attention restoration. I've experienced these reported benefits of bird watching first-hand. While I was caring for my mother – and during the grief that has followed since her death – walking in my local parks and the mindful manner of bird watching has provided me with the opportunity to 'press pause' on painful feelings and celebrate the beauty of nature and simplicity. Bird watching requires us to shift our attention and awareness, living fully in the present moment (the essence of mindfulness). Bird watching offers many mental health benefits It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a garden; you can feel the benefits of bird watching by practising it from a balcony, window, or by going to your local park or woodland. Stay fully mindful and be sure to focus your attention on how the birds look and sound. Examine the details in their plumage and explore the colours. Do you see any patterns? How long is its beak? What do the claws look like? Can you spot the differences between the male and female of the species? Also, be sure to focus on their calls. Is the sound high- or low-pitched? Are there any patterns in the noises they make? Can you hear a species ‘talking’ to each other? Can you try and imitate their calls? Also, what behaviour do they display? By immersing yourself in the world of the bird your mind should shift away from your worries or other thoughts. 2. It keeps you physically active You may think the exercise attached to spotting birds involves little more than standing still and flexing your arms as you lift a pair of binoculars, but you'd be wrong! As bird watching is mainly an outdoor activity it often involves walking or hiking around different terrains – woodland, shrub, marsh, clifftop. Indeed, many of the more interesting or hard-to-find species may be lurking in more remote areas away from human activity, meaning more effort is required to reach them. And, as you may already know, the benefits of exercise are both physical and mental. Exercise – even walking for a time – leads to an increase in endorphins, one of our so-called happiness hormones, which helps to boost mood and reduce stress. 3. Nature is healing To experience the full health benefits of bird watching you need to get out of your home and in to nature. According to studies, natural environments are proven to have two huge benefits when it comes to our emotions. Firstly, being regularly connected to nature leads to a reduction in stress and mood improvement. Scientists have found a correlation between exposure to natural stimuli (such as birds), reduced stress and anger, and improvement in reported well-being and mental health. “Taking the time to focus on our feathered friends during bird watching requires us to shift our attention and awareness, living fully in the present moment (the essence of mindfulness).” The second emotional benefit of being in nature may not be so obvious. It involves developing stronger bonds with others. That's because an improved and more relaxed frame of mind translates to a deeper attitude of compassion, that, in turn, can improve the quality of our social bonds. Furthermore, spending time out in nature brings forth emotions like joy, awe, serenity, inspiration and gratitude. Consider topping up the mental health benefits of bird watching by combining it with a forest bathing session for a deeply relaxing and rejuvenating experience. Take a break from your screens, switch off your phones, and go birding outside. Your author with his trusted binoculars 4. It keeps you social I prefer to go bird watching by myself – I find the calm and peace of being alone with nature healing and restorative – but that doesn’t mean I am without company. Indeed, the hobby of birding generates a thriving community of like-minded individuals that like to chat, share stories and tips, and, well, just have a laugh. In fact, if you head to a renowned birding spot over and again, you're bound to bump into fellow birders who will soon become familiar faces, and perhaps even friends. Indeed, another advantage of bird watching is that it can be a great way to make new buddies and the mental health benefits of staying social are well proven: not only does it reduce loneliness and boost well-being, but it can sharpen memory and cognitive skills, too. 5. It provide moments of awe Last year, after a day on the beach in a remote woodside beach in Tarragona, Spain, a bird I have been desperate to spot – the exotic-looking Eurasian hoopoe – flew down from nowhere and paraded its plumage and elongated beak right in front of me. This left me awestruck for the rest of the day. Such moments of awe and wonder make up another of the mental health benefits of bird watching. That's because studies have shown that awe can decrease stress levels, increase generosity and kindness, and make us feel happier overall. RELATED: 8 reasons why awe makes you life better Psychologist Jonah Paquette explains the value of awe in his book Awestruck. In it, he writes: “Awe blurs the line between the self and the world around us, diminishes the ego, and links us to the greater forces that surround us in the world and the larger universe.” Bird watching provides many opportunities to experience wonder, surprise and amazement. Whether it’s spotting a new bird species, hearing an unusual call, or watching a display or mating ritual, bird watching definitely provides many awe-some moments. Bird watching can be awe-inspiring shutterstock/Reni Rudisin 6. It stimulates and challenges Yes, bird watching is relaxing but it definitely won't leave you horizontal. In fact, birding keeps you alert and can be challenging, another mental health benefit. Indeed, trying to spot a bird after hearing its call is part of the fun, but it's rarely easy. Challenge yourself to spot a sneaky woodpecker in the branches after hearing its familiar tap-tap-tap sound and you'll likely be scouring the tree for ages before you uncover it. “Awe and wonder make up another of the mental health benefits of bird watching. Studies have shown that awe can decrease stress levels, increase generosity and kindness, and make us happier.” While my mum was seriously ill I challenged myself to train a pair of nesting robins to feed from my hand. Every day I'd go sit on the same bench and the same robin would be back to take seeds from me; first from the bench itself and then later from my legs. Within a fortnight it was brave enough to take the food directly from my hand. Watching this little red-breasted bird then pass the food to its partner (and perhaps keeping a chick alive) was particularly life-affirming when the life of the person I loved most was fading. Trying to spot and identify new species is also a stimulating challenge. Birds will often tease us, flitting in and out of trees to get our attention then zipping off again the moment you've managed to get your binoculars on them. So, it takes time and effort to track them down sometimes. According to CareUK, the process of looking for birds and identifying the species can even be calming for people living with dementia. Furthermore, repetition – in the form of visiting the same places and seeing the same birds – can also be reassuring to someone living with cognitive impairment. 7. It'll make you laugh My final health benefit of bird watching relates to the humour it often provides. Remember that old saying that 'laughter is the best medicine'? Well, the studies back it up: in the short-term laughter reduces stress and soothes tensions. In the long-term it can relieve pain, boost overall mood and even improve your immune system. And when you stop to pay attention you will see that birds have fascinating lives that are as funny to observe as they are beautiful. If you pay close attention to their habits and behaviours you will see some hilarious antics when they are feeding, mating or fighting. It can be like watching a soap opera – but in a feathery format! Some birding tips Purchase a small pair of basic binoculars online or from a second-hand shop. An essential item for a budding birder, binoculars will help you get a closer look at birds that are in the distance so you can examine them in more detail. Take a pocket book of birds with you when you go out in nature so you can try and identify them and tick off any new finds. Great for adults and kids. Tread carefully and don’t make too much noise as not to scare them off. Visit the same places daily and you may be able to build a bond with the birds. Put up bird feeders in your garden or leave seeds on your balcony. Once you start attracting birds to your outside space through food, they will remember it and come back regularly, increasing the amount of mindful bird watching time you can get. The takeaway: bird watching and mental health From reducing stress to providing real moments of awe, the mental health benefits of bird watching are many. It's something you can do by yourself or as a family activity, and the birding community is welcoming and friendly. The mindful practice of birding is also fun, free and gets you out in nature. So, what's not to love? And if, like me, you only ever get to see a kingfisher once, I promise you it will be worth it for that alone! • Main image: shutterstock/soft_light happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Trust | Sound baths | Pets | Stress management Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes gay artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.
  16. Failure to self-validate can lead to problems such as impulsive behaviour and the inability to manage emotional responses. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explores why many of us fail at self-validation and offers five ways to develop the skills to do it successfully. Most of us are great at validating others. We acknowledge their emotions, recognize effort and success, and support individualism and self-expression. However, the majority of us are equally lousy at self-validation. We all get angry, disappointed, sad, jealous, scared, demotivated. Ideally, one would accept and be able to regulate these emotions. Instead, many people immediately think: “I shouldn’t feel this way. I’m being ridiculous!” As a result, coping with different experiences becomes exceptionally challenging. Reactions seem to be out of control. If you struggle with similar issues, you probably haven’t mastered the art of self-validation. The ability (or inability) to validate ourselves intertwines with much of what we go through in life. In this article, we'll give you five ways to develop self-validation so you can get to grips with this essential skill. Why self-validation is essential In simple terms, self-validation is accepting your own internal experience: your thoughts and feelings. Validation and self-validation are widely acknowledged problems in psychology, philosophy and sociology. The roots of the problem of self-validation lie in the vital human need to be recognized and supported. • INTERESTED IN SELF-GROWTH? Sign-up for free courses in our happiness Academy • According to Iser’s work in The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, recognition has critical psychological importance. Others’ feedback is essential for one’s practical identity to form. We could also touch upon Hegel’s concept of ‘struggle for recognition’. In its simplest, it points us towards understanding the source of our need to be validated. When we are misrecognized by others, our relationship with ourselves is hindered or even destroyed. Self-validation is accepting your thoughts and feelings shutterstock/G-Stock Studio Such strength of humans’ need to be validated by others led many thinkers to voice the significance of self-validation. Rare is a psychologist or a philosopher that would dispute the ultimate value of autonomy and authenticity. The independence that comes with the capacity to be one’s own judge could be expressed with a quote by Fromm: “Obedience to my own reason or conviction (autonomous obedience) is not an act of submission but one of affirmation. My conviction and my judgment, if authentically mine, are part of me. If I follow them rather than the judgment of others, I am being myself.” - Erich Fromm, On Disobedience Real-life outcomes of lacking self-validation skills In slightly more practical terms, the inability to self-validate could lead to a range of adverse outcomes: Negating your thoughts and emotions could lead to a paradoxical effect in which you are even more affected by them, as research has demonstrated. When you deny and suppress your inner experiences, you lose control over them. You could think of it as an instruction to not think about a pink elephant. Your cognition still rests on the negated content. You could face many adversities in your personal and professional life because a lack of self-validation can cause impulsive behaviour and emotional dysregulation. You could be more prone to risky behaviours, addictions, eating disorders, to name a few. Your interpersonal skills could also suffer, leading to a range of other problems in your career or relationships. Your love life and friendships could be chaotic, codependent and intensely challenging for everyone involved. “You could face many adversities in your personal and professional life as a lack of self-validation can cause impulsive behaviour and emotional dysregulation.” Finally, you might be vulnerable to depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, PTSD and other emotional disturbances. When you cannot validate yourself, you are driven to maladaptive coping. This, however, eventually leads you far away from well-being and mental health. Why do we have a hard time to self-validate? There is no definitive response to the question above. A few things could have happened. Attachment style If the inborn need to be safe, cared for, and recognized was unfulfilled, we might have become unable to self-validate. For example, you might have developed an anxious attachment style. How your parents interacted with you as a child serves as a blueprint for your adult relationships. You might not have learned to be self-sufficient and recognize your worth. As children, we need adequate support from our caregivers to develop a sense of security about our emotions, decisions and actions. Research reveals that people with an anxious attachment style have a strong need for social approval. In other words, they need others to validate them. Modelling Another option was that your caregivers did not make it possible for you to mimic self-validation. When we are children, we acquire many traits and habits by modelling. If your primary attachment figure invalidated themselves, you probably learned to do the same. Research shows that emotional and behavioural self-validation and self-regulation are skills that are transferred from a parent to a child. Adult trauma You might have also started doubting yourself due to a traumatic experience at any point in your life. Both anecdotal reports and scientific studies confirm that being a victim of abuse, for example, could make you doubt your self-efficacy and self-worth. Most importantly, your readiness to accept, experience and address your emotions could have been disturbed. When one is in an abusive relationship, they gradually lose their sovereignty. Self-validation becomes a distant memory. Five ways to develop self-validation Although the potential outcomes of a lack of self-validation sound rather bleak, you should not feel discouraged: it is a skill that can be developed. Even if your early experience geared you towards invalidating yourself, you now have the opportunity to change that. Here are five tips to develop self-validation. 1. Practise mindfulness Mindfulness and self-validation go hand in hand. You cannot validate what you don’t recognize. You need to develop a non-judgmental awareness of your experiences, as they happen and when they happen, to validate them. Being present is the first level of validation. This means acknowledging your inner experience without avoidance or distraction. Mindfulness will help you regain grasp over your emotions and build up strength to cope with them. • FIND YOUR TRIBE! Join our curious and caring community and make new friends • Evidence from fMRI studies supports this argument. Individuals who were grieving a loss of a loved one were taught mindfulness techniques for eight weeks. When they were tested afterwards, their scores revealed a significantly better ability to regulate emotions. They also had fewer symptoms of depression, anxiety and grief. fMRI suggested that the participants learned to gain cognitive control over their feelings. They were no longer overwhelmed by them. 2. Be brutally honest with yourself Being imperfect stings, we know. Accepting imperfection is exceptionally difficult for most people. Especially so if they were taught that being great at something equals being worthy. If your parents and social environment were too demanding, it might have resulted in unhealthy perfectionism. Such a form of perfectionism has adverse effects on mental health, as confirmed in empirical research. If your sense of self-worth is equated to being flawless, you might have a tough time even noticing (let alone accepting) your blemishes. Nonetheless, when you want to learn the art of self-validation, you need to be brutally frank with yourself. Notice the emotions and thoughts you don’t feel proud of. Admit to yourself your shortcomings. Own up to your genuine reactions and experiences. Yes, there will be many unpleasant facts. It’s alright – no one is watching. It's possible to develop self-validation skills shutterstock/Prostock-studio 3. Develop your emotional intelligence Although there are a few relevant emotional intelligence (EI) models, Goleman’s work is among the most popular ones. He proposes that EI consists of five constructs: self-awareness, self-regulation, social skill (being able to get along with others), empathy and motivation. You can notice how EI is necessary for your ability to self-validate. With EI comes the ability to reflect on your experiences and emotions. Luckily, EI is a skill that can be learned. Therefore, to master self-validation, start developing your EI. When you can accurately name what you are feeling, you can then start to acknowledge and accept your emotional response. As a result, you will build healthy relationships with others without needing their recognition to feel good or motivated. You will build emotional autonomy. 4. Connect with your body’s responses Some people have grown so detached from their inner world that they need to tap into their bodily reactions first. In this regard, some elements of body-centred psychotherapies could be used. According to this group of approaches to psychotherapy, the body is not just something we have. We are our bodies. “Mindfulness and self-validation go hand in hand. You cannot validate what you don’t recognize. You need to develop a non-judgmental awareness of your experiences, as they happen and when they happen.” This means we live as a whole, as an inseparable totality of body and mind. When we learn to validate who we are and what we experience, we should include our body’s responses into the equation. Where are your emotions? What does your body do when you feel in a certain way? How does it respond to people and events? What is it trying to tell you about yourself? You could try a body awareness meditation to help you get started. A combination of body awareness with mindfulness and accurate, honest reflection we suggested above will help you develop a sense of being rooted inside of your own experience. 5. Self-validate by acknowledging your past experiences The final piece of advice in developing self-validation skills is to learn to validate yourself by acknowledging your past experiences. They fused within yourself and made you into who you are now. You now need to practice recognizing both positive and adverse experiences – and their consequences. How will this help you practise self-validation? Let us say that you had an intense reaction to your partner’s criticism of something you did. Try not to think: “You acted like a cuckoo there!” You could self-validate this reaction by saying: “It’s understandable that you felt this way. Your mother/father would punish you harshly for failures, and you are still overly sensitive to criticism”. Use meditation to connect with body's responses shutterstock/Anatoliy Karlyuk Such a validation does not mean that you condone erratic behaviour. It means that you allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling. You also name the emotion and understand its cause. These are the first steps to get into a self-validating mindset. Additionally, these are the first steps towards growing as a person. These five steps build up towards self-validation development as taught in dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT). According to DBT, there are three steps to validate yourself and your emotions – acknowledge, accept and understand. This worksheet could help you practice self-validation in everyday situations, as well as with more intense or past emotions. Self-validate to autonomy Self-validation is freedom. Freedom to experience life as it is (yes, the ugliness, too). It gives you self-determination in picking your path. You get to do it independently of others’ influence, be it conscious or subconscious. When you learn to rely on yourself for validation, you gain the liberty to be genuine and own your experiences. Therefore, in the spirit of autonomy that we are propagating here, we invite you – acknowledge yourself and allow your authentic Self to exist! • Main image: shutterstock/Victoria Chadinova happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and supporting others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our Academy Coaching | Letting go | Authenticity Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.
  17. Meditation and mindfulness are becoming increasingly popular for kids, with schools incorporating them into classes. Meditation practitioner Ann Vrlak looks at the benefits for children and explains three great meditation techniques you can practise with your own kids. Have you noticed that meditation and mindfulness courses for kids are starting to pop up everywhere? In schools and in programs devoted to children? In the same way meditation for adults has seen an explosion in the West over the last 30 years, educators and psychologists are now sending a clear message: meditation for kids is a powerful life skill. And when children learn mindfulness at a young age, we can plant seeds that grow and bear fruit throughout their whole life. What is meditation? There are so many styles of meditation it can sometimes be confusing. But meditation for kids can be put into two basic categories: mindfulness and imagination. The definition of mindfulness I like to use teaching kids is this: paying attention to the present moment, right now, with kindness and curiosity. I explain all the terms in ways they can easily understand: “paying attention,” “right now” and, most importantly, “with kindness and curiosity.” There’s a lot in that simple definition for kids to understand and to practice. Meditation for kids is a powerful life tool shutterstock/vectorfusionart There are many mindfulness-based practices for kids, many of which use the senses and the breath, to help them explore this definition of mindfulness. And imagination-based meditations use kids’ amazing power of imagination to take journeys into their body, to relaxing places or to experience different qualities like the strength and safety of the Earth. I’ll take you through an imagination exercise on grounding in the earth later in this article. Kids are very good – usually much better than adults – at really feeling what they imagine, taking in those qualities and making them their own. Why are schools integrating meditation? Ideally, schools are places where kids learn a lot about life: about different subjects from math to art; about achievement and evaluation; about friendship, peer pressure and conflict – and much more. RELATED: 7 of the best mindfulness books for kids And it’s not news that these things can be stressful for people of any age. It’s sobering to know that more kids than ever are experiencing anxiety and depression. According to the CDC, in the USA, 7 per cent of children aged between three and 17 have diagnosed anxiety (approximately 4.4 million kids), and just over 3 per cent in the same age range (approximately 1.9 million) have diagnosed depression. Research shows that at younger and younger ages, children are feeling the pressure to excel at school or to be accepted by schoolmates. So, schools are an ideal place to introduce meditation for kids. They can learn how meditation can help them cope with life challenges. There are two key reasons that meditation has become a favourite tool to build these kinds of skills. “Meditation for kids is a powerful life skill. And when children learn mindfulness at a young age, we can plant seeds that grow and bear fruit throughout their whole life.” Firstly, because over the past few decades researchers have become very interested in studying meditation in general and for kids in particular. We have many studies now that show the proven psychological, emotional and physical benefits of meditation. There's one school in the US – Patterson High School in Baltimore – that is successfully using meditation as a “time out” activity for kids if they're acting out. Called the Mindful Moment Program, this innovative idea gives kids the skills to be with themselves and calm down through meditation and yoga – and with great results. Since launching the program, suspensions for fighting have dropped, and both attendance figures and the average GPA of first time ninth graders has increased. Secondly, meditation for kids has become so valued because of the wide and varied range of those benefits. Here are just some of the strengths and skills kids can build when they practice simple, non-religious meditation practices. They have been shown to: 1. Foster self-compassion and compassion for others Remember the definition of mindfulness earlier in this article? The part about kindness and curiosity? Observing yourself, and others, with kindness (rather than criticism or judgement) builds a caring relationship with yourself and empathy for others. 2. Improve focus and concentration Many meditation for kids exercises involve paying attention to something in particular and learning what to do when your mind wanders from your task. 3. Reduce stress, anxiety and depression Meditation exercises that show kids how to connect with their bodies, breath and senses calm their nervous system. They learn how to trigger this physiological healing and, again, to treat themselves with kindness while they practice and sometimes experience difficult emotions. Meditation in schools is proving successful for kids 4. Help kids make better decisions When kids are more calm and focused, and practicing self-care, they’re better able to make good choices. 5. Enhance creativity Meditation activates and integrates many areas of the brain. Creativity is powered up! 6. Self-regulate their emotions and behavior There are meditation exercises specifically for handling tough emotions, like sadness or anger or frustration. Kids can learn powerful ways have their emotions, rather than their emotions having them. Teaching meditation to your child at home Whether or not your child’s school has meditation or mindfulness programs, you can teach them meditation at home. And one of the great things is that you will also benefit from the practice. Indeed, it’s a great way to learn together, share experiences and strengthen your relationship with your children. “Schools are an ideal place to introduce meditation for kids. They can learn how meditation can help them cope with life challenges.” So, what do meditation practices for kids look like? Here are a few simple ones you can try – two mindfulness based and one imagination-based. Try them yourself a few times before you teach them. Keep the practices short – about one minute per year of age: five minute exercises with five year olds, and so on. And keep these things in mind for all the exercises: To begin, find a comfortable position either sitting up or lying down. Take a couple of deep relaxing breaths. When your mind wanders away from the particular exercise, that’s totally fine. That’s what your mind does! Just bring it back gently to the exercise. Know these exercises have two basic purposes: to help kids strengthen their attention and to guide them toward a particular positive experience. Ask them about their experiences and share what you experienced, too. Mindfulness-based exercises 1. Swing with your breath Paying attention to the breath is a great way to soothe the nervous system and bring some calm. Start paying attention to your breath in your chest. Feel your chest moving up and down. And feel how the movement of your breath is like being on a swing. There’s an upswing and a slight pause, then the downswing and a slight pause. Then the movement starts again. The goal of the exercise is to pay attention to and feel this whole movement – including the small quiet pauses – for as long as you can. Staying close to physical sensations helps kids relax and feel grounded in their bodies. Practising meditation at home is a great way to connect with your kids shutterstock/fizkes 2. Sounds and silence This is an example of a meditation exercise that uses kids’ sense of sound. Sensory-based practices are a great way for them to become present and calm. For this exercise, you'll need some sort of chime or bell. If you don’t have one, you can experiment with a glass or bowl that makes a ringing sound when you hit it with a spoon, for example. The sound should last 10 seconds or more. Tell your child that the purpose of the exercise is to listen to the whole sound – from the time you strike the chime until the sound disappears into silence. And when they can’t hear the sound, they raise their hand. Repeat this several times. You can quietly ask your child questions before each chime. “See if you can hear the sound even longer this time.” Or, “What do you hear after the sound is gone?” Imagination-based exercise 1. Your grounding cord In this exercise, kids imagine being connected to the whole planet earth, and all the strength and safety that brings. This exercise is done best in a sitting position, on the floor or on a chair. Guide your child to feel their tailbone and where it meets the floor or chair. Ask them to imagine a cord going from the tip of their tailbone down into the earth. Start at about five feet and progressively go deeper and deeper, until their grounding cord goes right to the centre of the earth. As you go, guide the child to feel the solidity and safety of the Earth, and how they are connected to all that strength through their cord. Use your imagination, too! Create a journey of exploration about the qualities of the earth and the child’s ability to really feel them. To finish, bring the grounding cord slowly up again, right up to your child’s tailbone. Ask them to enjoy how they feel and, if they like, to describe it to you. For example, how their body felt, what they saw or heard – leave the door open to hear their experience. It will help them to imprint the experience. Takeaway: meditation for kids We’re living in a wonderful time for meditation for kids. There are many programs and resources online and maybe even in your community that offer ways to bring meditation into your lives. I’ve given you a few links to explore at the bottom of this article. Plant the seeds of meditation for your child and watch them take root. ● Main image: shutterstock/wavebreakmedia Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.
  18. Here are the links to the guided meditations we are practicing with during the MBSR course: Feel free to choose the recoding for the week you are at that resonates best with you. I will continuously add more links to high-quality recordings to cover a broader spectrum of voices and personal styles. Like the posture, the teacher that works best for where you are at today might differ. Yet in their core, those different meditation are the same. We offer a free guided meditation once a week live on zoom. Onve a month we offer a free FAQ session for this course. To see the time and dates and sign up for a session please checkout Tine's profile. Some recordings are by Dave Potter, an experienced MBSR teacher and psychotherapist who put together this online course. Jon Kabat-Zinn is the founder of the MBSR course. Emma Reynolds is an experienced MBSR teacher with the Mindful Academy, Solterreno, Spain. This is where I got my training too. Lynn Rossy is a health psychologist, author, researcher, and Kripalu yoga teacher specializing in mindfulness-based interventions. Week 1: Bodyscan Bodyscan 29min by Jon Kabat-Zinn (the founder of MBSR) Bodyscan 15min (YouTube) Bodyscan 15min (InsightTimer) by Tine Steiß Bodyscan 33min by Dave Potter Bodyscan 45min by UC San Diego Center for Mindfulness Bodyscan 20min by Emma Reynolds Compassionate Body Scan 24min by Kristin Neff Week 2: Sitting Meditation Sitting Meditation 32min by Dave Potter Sitting Meditation 40min by Jon Kabat-Zinn (the founder of MBSR) Week 3 and 4: Mindful Yoga Mindful Yoga 1 37min by Lynn Rossy PhD Mindful Yoga 2 36min by Lynn Rossy PhD Week 5: "Turning towards" the difficult, Soften, Sooth, Allow Turning Towards - Meditation for difficult emotions 23min by Dave Potter Turning Towards - Meditation for physical pain 25min by Dave Potter Soften, Soothe, Allow 16min by Dave Potter Soften, Soothe, Allow 9min by Happiness Insight RAIN 11min by Dave Potter Week 6: Mindfulness and Communication Mountain Meditation 20min by Dave Potter Lake Meditation 20min by Dave Potter Week 7: Mindfulness and Compassion Lovingkindness Meditation 13min by Dave Potter Other meditations that are closely related to the MBSR curriculum: Taking a breath - taking a break 13min by Tine Steiß Breathing Meditation for Beginners 10min by Jack Kornfield Labelling emotions 20min by Emma Reynolds the RAIN of Self-Compassion by Tara Brach (PhD in Clinical Psychology, founder of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington and author of Radical Acceptance, True Refuge, Freedom In Your Own Awakened Heart) Oneness Meditation 35min by Jon Kabat-Zinn (the founder of MBSR)
  19. Since the pandemic struck, angling has been reeling in more fans than ever. Dee Marques takes a look at how the mental and physical health benefits of fishing are catching on fast. The past year and a half has brought multiple changes to our lives. For many of us, this period has been a time for reflection, and some have decided to focus on self-care and pay better attention to their health and well-being. Indeed, during the past 18 months, you may have tried different strategies to stay in optimal physical and mental health. Fortunately, there’s always something new to try. And one leisure activity that's gained a whole host of new fans during the COVID crisis is fishing. In fact, according to the Guardian, the number of annual rod licence applications in England and Wales surged by more than 120,000 in 2020 – that's up a huge 15 per cent on the previous year, with a large increase in the number of women and families heading to the waterside. You may have never thought about trying it, but what about giving fishing a go? As August is National Fishing Month, let's discuss this popular leisure activity and discuss the health benefits of fishing – you may be surprised by some of them! Discovering the health benefits of fishing The health benefits of fishing are many and are both physical and mental. Indeed, there are plenty of reasons why spending some time by a lake or the sea trying to fish can nourish us. They include: 1. Life skills and identity support A UK study looked at the impact of recreational fishing in teenagers who took part in a week-long fishing camp. The findings suggest that fishing put to the test important skills, like patience and self-discipline. Outdoor therapies are used to increased resilience, since these activities support identity, self esteem and create a feeling of worthiness. For example, fishing gives us the ability to provide our own food. This can lead to a confidence boost because we realise we can satisfy some of our basic needs without depending on others. Among the psychological health benefits of fishing is confidence and the feeling of mastery; the ability to make progress and develop new skills, which is a critical factor in the development of self-esteem. 2. Reconnection with nature Like other outdoor leisure activities, fishing can help us reconnect with nature and carve a pathway to growth, restore balance, and learn about our inner self. According to nature-deficit theory, the changes in work arrangements and lifestyle mean we’re spending a significant amount of time indoors. Similarly, the biophilia hypothesis claims humans have a natural affinity for outdoor environments, and switching the balance around can address physical and emotional imbalances. 3. Positive mood Mood regulation and/or improvement is one of the key health benefits of fishing. People who enjoy fishing regularly often say they do it because it helps them forget worries, relieve tension and relax. Fishing can be a great family bonding experience This activity allows us to put distance between ourselves, the real world, and the stresses of everyday life. This momentary break leaves you feeling energised to go back to the daily routine, and is a mood booster to help you face life with renewed energy. And being an outdoor activity, you may also get to benefit from the mood-lifting effect of sunshine and vitamin D. Its health benefits include better resistance to disease, a reduced risk of developing bone related conditions and heart disease, mood stabilization and improvement of depressive symptoms. 4. Social connectedness After months of isolation, many of us feel the urge to be around others and satisfy the basic human need of connectedness. Indeed, the feeling of belonging is an important psychological prerequisite according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. This is one of the main health benefits of fishing, since the need for social connectedness has been with us for our entire evolutionary history – and has contributed to our survival as a species. “Mood improvement is one of the key health benefits of fishing. People who enjoy fishing do it because it helps them forget worries, relieve tension and relax.” In fact, an active social life is linked to a strong immune system, better cognitive performance and fewer symptoms of depression. A day out fishing can provide an opportunity to spend quality time with friends or family, and can also be a socialisation strategy for introverts or those who don’t like crowds. 5. A space for reflection and healing Although many fishers and anglers enjoy the activity as part of small groups, conversely, fishing can also meet the need for solitude. Sometimes we have a strong need to be alone and process our feelings, and that’s one of the potential health benefits of fishing: it offers the right environment for that kind on inward reflection. Fishing requires focus, and for better or for worse, humans can’t really focus intently on more than one thing at a time. So, while you concentrate on fishing, you allow your brain to put other worries in the back seat. RELATED: The power of silence There can also be a healing element to fishing, as shown by a programme developed in the US to help disabled veterans and those suffering from PTSD. Veterans were taken fishing for the first time, and they reported that the activity helped them manage their emotions and find peace and passion for life. 6. Helps you stay active Sure, you can’t compare a high-intensity gym workout to a morning of fishing. But that doesn’t mean that fishing is a wholly sedentary activity. On the contrary, it can be a great low-intensity total body workout. Think about this: Getting to some fishing spots usually involves walking, carrying your gear, climbing over rough terrain or scrambling over rocks and boulders. Fishing doesn't mean just sitting by the shore doing nothing. You may need to wade into a river, pond or lake, and keep your arms moving by casting and reeling. Climbing over rocks or standing in moving water work the core and leg muscles, as well as testing your balance. So, fishing is perfect if you want to enjoy the physical benefits of staying active but don’t want an exhausting workout. The mental health benefits of fishing are many shutterstock/Andrey Yurlov 7. Stimulates creativity Depending on who you ask, fishing is an art or a science. Whatever the case, it’s never an exact art or an exact science. You’ll have great days and not-so-great fishing days, which will likely prompt you to get creative and think of possible solutions. “You can’t compare a high-intensity gym workout to a morning of fishing, but the activity can be a great low-intensity total body workout.” Maybe you’ll need to change bait, or experiment with different weather conditions or test new spots. Your equipment may break, so you’ll need to improvise and think outside of the box to see if you can fix it on the spot. It’s all a great way of developing creative problem-solving skills. The health benefits of fishing are more than just physical. 8. Improved concentration The great thing about fishing is that you can let your mind wander or you can focus hard on it. If you choose to focus, fishing can help improve concentration skills, which have been so vastly disrupted by the digital world. If you’ve been considering a digital detox, you can start with short detox sessions when you go fishing. 9. Chance to practise mindfulness Fishing can be a great alternative if you struggle with more formal or strict forms of meditation. Although it’s considered a sport, it’s also a hobby and there’s no need to stress about its competitive element. In fact, you don’t even have to fish anything. It can be about being there, enjoying the moment, taking in the fresh air, being in a natural environment and watching the water flow. Indeed, fishing can be an ideal setting to start a mindfulness practice, if you haven’t already done so. And why not consider listening to one of these mindfulness podcasts while you’re out by the water for that added sense of calm? • Main image: shutterstoch/AT Production happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Travelling | Forest bathing | Stress management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.
  20. We all spend too much time 'in our heads' now and again. But overthinking regularly can be detrimental to our mental health if those thoughts are negative, so it's important to remember you are not your thoughts. Dee Marques offers some mindful exercises to help you do just that. Have you ever wondered how many thoughts we have in a day? It may seem impossible to calculate, but actually, we do have an answer. In fact, psychologists at a Canadian university have quantified the average number of daily thoughts an adult has as 6,200. This figure seems to confirm that we spend a lot of time in our heads. And there are plenty more studies to confirm this. For example, an article published in Science magazine reported that we spend more than 46 per cent of our waking hours thinking about things that aren’t related to what we’re doing in any given moment. Of course, thinking isn’t all bad and letting the mind wander can have its benefits. However, from a mental health perspective, it’s important to be aware of the content of our thoughts, and of the impact they can have when we let them run loose. Negative self-talk and rumination are real problems. Indeed, back in the early 2000s, researchers at the United States National Science Foundation estimated that 80 per cent of our thoughts are negative, and 95 per cent of them are repetitive. Looking at these statistics, it’s easy to understand how much our thoughts can affect our quality of life and potential for enjoyment. Get out of your head: you are not your thoughts! shutterstock/G-Stock Studio Psychiatrist Sigmund Freud once asked, “Where does a thought go when it’s forgotten?” Although this complex question has no definitive answer, there’s one thing we know: your thoughts leave a footprint in your mind. Sometimes, they can become a part of your identity, but here’s the thing: you are not your thoughts. We all have the ability to control our thoughts and moderate their impact. In this article, I’ll explain why you are not your thoughts and how you can curb the effects of negative thinking on your everyday life. The negative effects of brain chatter Self-talk, brain chatter, mental noise… whatever we call it, it's important to understand that allowing certain mental patterns to take control can be harmful. Well-being is a matter of balance. If we spend too much time focusing on thoughts, we run the risk of tipping the scale too heavily in one direction. In other words, if we think too much, that can mean that we’re acting too little, and life requires a healthy balance between thinking and acting. “If we don’t control brain chatter, we may end up losing sight of what’s real and what isn’t. Thoughts are not facts, and you are not your thoughts.” Moreover, if we don’t learn how to curb our negative inner dialogue, we can expose ourselves to unnecessary suffering and unhappiness. Living in our heads and dwelling on our thoughts can lead to rumination. This potentially toxic habit can cause multiple mental and physical health issues, from depression to high blood pressure, including insomnia, anxiety, and excessive alcohol consumption. Rumination is everything but productive. When we enter this state, we’re more likely to get trapped in cyclical thoughts and to believe we have no power to act on whatever is worrying us. The result is a pessimistic and passive outlook on life – the opposite of the healthy belief that you are not your thoughts. And while we’re stuck ruminating about the past or the future, we’re not acting in the present, which is the only thing over which we have some degree of control. RELATED: Learn how to stop overthinking Another danger is that if we don’t control brain chatter, we may end up losing sight of what’s real and what isn’t. You must remember that thoughts are not facts, and that you are not your thoughts. Let’s look at how to do this. You are not your thoughts: how to make it real First, identify what causes the problem. Keep a diary of your thoughts to see if you can find any patterns to when they appear or what triggers them. Common triggers are watching the news, mindlessly scrolling through social media feeds, and monotonous or repetitive tasks, like cleaning or driving the usual commute. Once you’ve identified the triggers, think of something that will keep your mind busy when the thoughts appear. For example, if this happens when you’re driving, make a habit of listening to uplifting podcasts about happiness or audiobooks. A digital detox can be a real eye opener and a big step in helping you realise that you are not your thoughts. RELATED: How to stop ruminating with these 3 techniques The second suggestion is not to suppress those thoughts completely. You don’t want to encourage the “don’t think of an elephant” effect. Instead, give yourself 15 minutes a day to calmly consider your worries. Set an alarm and once it goes off, remind yourself that you are not your thoughts, and carry on with your day. It can also help to take an active approach to your worries. Write them down and think about what can you do about them. You may want to use brainstorming techniques to be creative with problems instead of letting them define your life. Exercises to practise If uncontrolled thoughts have become mental noise that drains your energy, you can learn to silence them with mindfulness. This practice trains our brain to observe thoughts instead of automatically acting or reacting on them. Here is an exercise suggestion: The key is to observe thoughts with curiosity and without judgement, noticing how they feel as they enter and leave your mind. Make a mental note of whether the thoughts run fast or slow, what are the common themes, find out if they’re repetitive or different. As you do this, you can imagine a crystal clear stream. It’s autumn and tree leaves are falling. Imagine each leaf is a thought, and watch them fall, enter the stream, and be washed away until you can no longer see them. Learn to simply observe your thoughts with curiosity After the mindfulness exercise, you can also try to find out the intention behind those thoughts. Every emotion has a positive purpose, but sometimes our mind doesn’t allow us to see it, because it goes into rumination mode automatically. For example, anxious thoughts could signal a need for self-care and protection. Sadness can prompt us to adjust to new circumstances and develop new tools to thrive. Whenever negative thoughts make you feel anxious, find some quiet space to be present in the moment. You can sit or lie down in a comfortable position and focus on how your body feels against the floor or chair, taking your time to do a body scan from head to toe. If brain chatter tries to intrude, be firm and say you are in charge now. Remember: you are not your thoughts and your thoughts aren’t always a reflection of reality. “If brain chatter tries to intrude, be firm and say you are in charge. Remember: you are not your thoughts and your thoughts aren't always a reflection of reality.” Repeated mindfulness sessions can help you win the fight between a restless “monkey mind” and the logical or rational mind. Over time, you’ll notice how your power to deflect unwanted thoughts improves, and how the idea that you are not your thoughts becomes a reality. One last suggestion is to work on self-acceptance. It takes time to get hold of your thinking habits and to fully understand that you are not your thoughts, so don’t be too hard on yourself in you don’t get it right 100 per cent of the times. And don’t forget to look over previous blog posts, where we listed great mindfulness podcasts to keep you motivated or explored different ways of incorporating mindfulness into your daily life. Takeaway: you are not your thoughts Negative self-talk can make it hard to believe that you are not your thoughts, and mental noise can be draining. But as powerful beings, we have the resources to be in control and to stop letting our thoughts dictate how our mood and actions. Try the suggestions in this article, and if in doubt, remember: you are not your thoughts, you’re much more than that! • Main image: shutterstock/Dragana Gordic happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Letting go | Acceptance | Self Care Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.
  21. Hey everybody! I wanted to share a cool online cohort-based meditation series exploring the themes of relationships, livelihood and money in the context of mindfulness and Buddhism. It is an 8-week series starting next Sunday! There are some really amazing meditation teachers involved such as Chan Master Guo Gu. Let me know what you think! Dharma-Gates.org/building-a-beautiful-life It's offered on a donation-basis, and is designed for young people ages 18-35.
  22. Hi all! 🥰 Loved this article and the fact that so many people are looking to learn more and practice mindfulness through a Podcast. I'd love to invite you to my own mindfulness podcast called Trips in Silence. It has sweet and short 10-min long mindfulness bombs from my soul to yours ❤️
  23. Here are some steps you can take: Recognize your feelings: Acknowledge and accept that you are experiencing depression, anxiety, or other mental health challenges. It's important to understand that these feelings are valid and that seeking help is a sign of strength. Reach out for support: Share your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust, such as a close friend, family member, or a mental health professional. Opening up to others can provide emotional support and help you feel less alone. Seek professional help: Consult with a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor. They can provide a safe space for you to explore your emotions, offer guidance, and develop coping strategies tailored to your specific needs. Develop self-care routines: Engage in activities that promote your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This may include regular exercise, eating nutritious meals, getting enough sleep, practicing mindfulness or meditation, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. Establish a support network: Surround yourself with positive and understanding individuals who can provide support and encouragement. Consider joining support groups or online communities where you can connect with people who share similar experiences. Educate yourself: Learn more about your condition, including its causes, symptoms, and available treatment options. Understanding what you're going through can empower you to make informed decisions about your mental health and treatment. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and avoid self-judgment. Understand that healing takes time, and setbacks are a normal part of the process. Treat yourself with patience, understanding, and self-care. Develop coping mechanisms: Discover healthy ways to cope with stress and manage your emotions. This might include deep breathing exercises, journaling, practicing relaxation techniques, or engaging in creative outlets like art or music. Consider medication if needed: In some cases, medication may be prescribed by a psychiatrist to help manage symptoms. If you and your healthcare provider determine that medication is necessary, ensure that you follow their guidance and monitor any potential side effects. Stay connected: Maintain meaningful relationships with friends and loved ones. Social support plays a crucial role in mental health, so try to engage in activities that foster connection and build relationships. Remember, it's essential to consult with a qualified mental health professional to receive personalized advice and guidance for your specific situation. They can help you develop a treatment plan that aligns with your needs and goals.
  24. There were many feel-good health and environmental stories in the press during June, but you may not have seen them. Ed Gould shares his Top 10 from the past month to uplift and inspire. With so much upheaval in the world and some frightening stories dominating the headlines, it's good to know that June also saw its fair share of positive news. If you haven't seen many good news stories from the last month, then this selection should be enough to raise your spirits. 1. Extinct orchid rediscovered in Scotland Let's start with some great news for nature lovers. An orchid species that's so rare it was thought to be extinct has been found growing on a remote Scottish estate. Situated somewhere in the Highlands, the exact location of the plant is being kept a secret since it has not been successfully identified for over two centuries. According to a report by the BBC, the coralroot orchid was unexpectedly rediscovered by an ecologist named Gus Routledge. Meanwhile, another rare orchid specimen also thought to have died out was rediscovered in Vermont, USA. Incredibly, it's thought this example hadn't been seen since 1902! Now, that's what we call flower power! 2. Dance and mindfulness combined help mental health It's long been known that physical activity, such as dance, can help to alleviate bad moods and even lessen the severity of mental health conditions like depression. Mindfulness is also a much-studied area of academic research with respect to mental health. However, according to Adrianna Mendrek, a Professor of Psychology at Bishop's University, writing in the Deccan Herald, when the two are combined there is a noted effect on the somatosensory cortex. This is an area of the brain well-known for its ability to physically alter – a process known as neuroplasticity. Because this part of the brain connects directly to so many others, it's thought that this is why it could help mental health outcomes so readily when both dance and mindfulness are combined. Mindful dancing boosts mental health shutterstock/Prostock-studio 3. Swiss plastics researchers offer hope Materials scientists in Switzerland have teamed up with colleagues in neighbouring Austria to come up with a sustainable source of hydrocarbons for one of the trickiest plastics to recycle – PET (polyethylene terephthalate). They've come up with a plastic that has similar, durable properties, which means it could even be used for bottles and food containers. The difference? According to a report in MENA FN, this material is derived from biomass waste. Key to the technique is retaining sugars within the natural material that can be used to form strong molecular links. It's also hoped the material will soon be used by 3-D printers. 4. Vitamin D may ward off risk of stroke and dementia As reported in numerous press outlets in June, vitamin D deficiency has been found to be a significant contributory factor in the incidence of both stroke and dementia. As a result, it's thought that simply getting more sunlight could be a contributing factor in staving off both conditions, according to researchers at the University of South Australia. In addition to getting more sunlight, researchers think that consuming more oily fish – a good natural source of vitamin D – will help ensure longer-term brain health. RELATED: How to talk to a parent with dementia 5. Drones used to prevent plastics entering the ocean A Dutch firm called RanMarine has developed aquatic drones that are being deployed in the country's waterways to collect plastic rubbish that would otherwise eventually find its way to the sea. According to a story in EuroNews, the drones measure around 1.5m, meaning they are large enough to collect about 160 litres of rubbish on each deployment. The project has already caught the attention of the US National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Many think capturing plastics before they get into the open ocean is much easier and, therefore, a better tactic than trying to deal with them after they've already got there. 6. Video gamers receive a boost to their intelligence Many people think playing video games is a waste of time but recent research sheds new light on this popular activity, even going so far as to suggest it can boost intelligence! A study from a Swedish research institute has concluded that video gaming helped certain cognitive abilities – such as problem-solving – to grow. RELATED: Games are changing our lives... for good! As many as 5,000 children took part in the study and their cognitive abilities were tested two years apart so that their brain development could be established over time. Overall, the researchers found that screen time wasn't necessarily bad and that, on average, cognitive function was improved among those playing video games. Given the world has been enjoying video games since the 1970s, this is great news for gamers. Playing video games could boost intelligence shutterstock/LightField studios 7. Smart CO2 energy battery launched in Italy The Italian island of Sardinia is home to a new CO2 battery, a green technology that offers a long-duration storage option for renewable energy. According to Claudio Spadaccini, the CEO behind the project, the breakthrough technology is already commercially available to make cost-effective renewable energy on a worldwide scale. The idea is that CO2 batteries are less costly and better for the global environment than lithium-ion alternatives because they require no mining and used a closed-loop system. 8. Wooden wind turbines offer an ecological alternative Wind turbines may create green electricity but they're often made from carbon-intensive materials. However, if sustainable wood can be used instead, then they'll operate in an even more environmentally friendly way over their life cycles. According to a report in Treehugger, this is exactly what one Swedish firm, Modvion, is trying to do. A large-scale prototype to demonstrate the viability of wooden wind turbines is already underway. A 30-metre turbine has already been made. Now, the company is in the process of upscaling the idea to a 100-metre turbine that could soon be commercially available. 9. Coffee consumption could extend life So long as it’s not drunk to excess, coffee may help us to live longer, according to a report by NBC News. A recent UK study of 120,000 people compared mortality rates among coffee drinkers and non-coffee drinkers. It found that people who drank 1.5 to 3.5 cups of coffee a day had a lower risk of death than non-coffee drinkers – even if they added sugar to their daily brew! The study also found that coffee drinking was associated with a decreased risk of kidney disease, Parkinson’s, type-2 diabetes and some cancers. A coffee a day keeps the doctor away? shutterstock/bbernard 10. Optimists are likely to live longer, not just think they will! Here's a great piece of feel-good news to finish on this month. Being optimistic might make you think you will live a long and happy life, but a new study has shown that optimists really do have longer lifespans on average! According to a report in Woman's World – and numerous other outlets – scientists at the Department of Social and Behavioral Sciences at Harvard T.H. Chan School found that positive psychological outlooks correlated not only to longer lifespans but a healthier ageing process among a wide number of different social groups. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Biology | Sustainability | Biotechnology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.
  25. Are you overthinking about past mistakes? Rumination, an element of OCD, is an unhealthy form of worrying that can lead to depression. If you're stuck in the past, learn how to stop ruminating thoughts with these three techniques from Dee Marques. Rumination is a dangerous habit that has been linked to serious psychological conditions such as depression, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and acute anxiety. But it's never to late to break away from this damaging (and common) habit and take control of your thinking patterns. Indeed, there are ways to stop ruminating and restore your well-being, peace of mind and happiness. Ruminating and overthinking: why it's unhealthy People have ruminating thoughts for a variety of reasons. Some of the common explanations for rumination, according to the American Psychological Association, include: belief that by ruminating, you’ll gain insight into your problem/life a history of physical or emotional trauma dealing with ongoing stressors that can’t be controlled Overthinking negative thoughts is also common in those of us who possess certain personality traits such as neuroticism and perfectionism. Indeed, for most of us, it's completely normal to replay or go over past events in an attempt to understand where we went wrong: the lessons we can learn from past mistakes. In fact, according to research by Matt Killingsworth, incredibly we spend almost half our waking hours thinking about something other than what we're doing! This includes contemplating on what happened in the past (positive or negative). Stop rumination: unhealthy worrying can lead to depression When taken to the extreme, this leads to rumination, which is the compulsive overthinking or dwelling on the negative aspects of one's past or future. This type of over-thinking is associated with obsessive tendencies and has very elevated cognitive and emotional costs. For instance, psychological research has shown that there's a link between rumination and negative psychological states, like anxiety and depression. Sooner or later, ruminators fall into an obsessive cycle of negative thoughts, which in turn lead to feelings on helplessness, guilt, anger, or regret, as well as to heightened stress and anxiety levels. A link between rumination and depression has also been suggested: a study in the US found that ruminators were more likely to become and remain clinically depressed after traumatic life events, such as the loss of a loved one. So, it appears that rumination and depressive states reinforce each other. In fact, they can send individuals into a spiral of uncontrolled negativity. Rumination and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) In clinical psychology, rumination or brooding is classified as an element of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). The intrusive and distressing thoughts brought about by rumination soon become impossible to stop. It's precisely this loss of control over one's thoughts that has led many psychologists to make a connection between this condition and OCD. “Rumination is the obsessive overthinking or dwelling on the negative aspects of one's past or future. This type of thinking has very elevated cognitive and emotional costs.” Researchers have also found a connection between rumination and harmful behaviour, such as binge drinking and binge eating. A study published in 2014 suggested that rumination may cause binge eating or increase its severity in cases where this behaviour already exists. • JOIN US! Need support? Sign-up to happiness.com and join a community that cares • In the case of binge drinking, a longitudinal study carried out among US university students found a causal link between rumination, depression, and heavy drinking. It appears that rumination leads to this type of uncontrolled behaviours. They become a coping mechanism, a figurative escape valve, and a way to regulate the negative emotions that are exacerbated by rumination. Rumination: negative interpersonal effects Eventually, rumination causes an inability to handle basic tasks in daily life. Since ruminators are so absorbed in unhealthy thoughts, these interfere with their ability to perform a job and to handle personal or professional relationships. RELATED: What is NLP? These 4 techniques could change how you think In addition to mental health consequences, rumination has serious interpersonal effects, as ongoing brooding may erode support from friends and relatives and cause a frustration and withdrawal cycle that becomes a cause for further rumination. Rumination: impaired brain function More importantly, rumination and overthinking is harmful because those who suffer from it focus exclusively on the minute details of a problem instead of finding a solution. Much like it happens in clinically depressed patients, brain function in ruminators is impaired in that it hinders their problem-solving ability. Instead, negative neural networks cause an unrealistic sense of despair: they doom along with the belief that there's no solution in sight. See the light: free your mind and stop rumination How to stop ruminating: three great techniques There's no doubt that rumination is a psychological burden. If you suffer from negative overthinking, you need to know that others in the same situation have managed to put a stop to unproductive thoughts. In fact, there are many strategies available to help you out in the struggle of breaking a thinking pattern that has become a habit. Here are three techniques that can teach you how to stop ruminating and take a step forward towards a healthier existence marked by happiness and appreciation, instead of worry and anxiety. 1. Mindfulness training Recently, psychologists have developed cognitive therapies that help patients stop ruminating by incorporating elements of mindfulness practice. This is effective because mindfulness requires us to think about how we think, instead of simply jumping into a spiral of negative thoughts. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged Mindfulness also brings an increased awareness into your own thinking patterns and reinforces your ability to identify triggers or to realise when negative intrusive thoughts reach a point of no return. “Rumination and overthinking is harmful because those who suffer from it focus exclusively on the minute details of a problem instead of finding a solution.” Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy often involves psychological intervention and educational sessions, as well as training in yoga and breathing techniques. The objective is to help ruminators gain insights into how their own brain functions, and by making individuals focus on their present state. They help suppress the impulse of obsessively focusing on past events. 2. Problem solving techniques Rumination has been sometimes described as “problem solving gone wrong”, so it only makes sense that one of the key ways in which you can stop ruminating is learning problem-solving techniques so you can address and reverse the paralysing effects of rumination. The first step is to ask the right questions: for example, instead of asking “why did that happen?”, you should choose an action-focused question such as “what can I do about it?”. Then move onto the basic steps of problem solving: identifying the problem deciding on your objective listing the resources that will help you tackle your goals tracing a step-by-step action plan putting it into writing if necessary 3. Distraction The third technique involves not giving your mind time or space to engage in harmful brooding. Instead, keep your mind occupied with something that you find interesting or motivating. This could be anything from singing, volunteering, or exercising. The important thing is to choose a constructive distraction instead of falling into unhealthy distractions like drinking or over-eating. Don't dwell: distract your mind from rumination Admittedly, keeping your mind occupied with something else can be hard. It's all too easy to unconsciously drift into rumination. But do your best to replace thinking patterns and it will get easier the better your get at mindfulness practice. Another suggestion is to only allow yourself to ruminate for a short period of time, setting a time limit or “scheduled rumination” sessions (but keep them short and stick to the schedule). Stop ruminating and overthinking: the benefits If you've decided to stop ruminating and focus on replacing this habit with positive thinking patterns, you can look forward to many physical and psychological benefits. Overcoming rumination will give your freedom from harmful and unproductive thoughts and have a positive effect on your overall well-being. Just like rumination, depression, anxiety, and other destructive behaviours reinforce each other. So, breaking away from this circle can reinforce confidence in yourself and in your ability to take the reins of your own life. Interestingly enough, ruminators are often on a never-ending quest for insight (asking questions that rarely have an answer), but only those who manage to break away from this habit can look forward to finally achieving a sharper awareness and a better understanding of themselves. With effort, practice, and support, you can conquer the heavy burden of rumination, overthinking and worry. You can move from a vicious circle of inaction to a position where you're in control of your thoughts and future. If you can learn how to stop ruminating thoughts then you will be on your way to enjoying a more balanced view of your past, present, and future. • Main image: colourbox.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Compassion | Friendship | Charity Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.
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