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Mooji is a renowned spiritual teacher who is of the Advaita non-duality tradition. Here, he offers two simple yet potent exercises about self-inquiry that help us look and discover our true nature: “This is your internal work. Internal work — eternal satisfaction.” There are two guidances that are offered. Both reveal the same place. If you have been finding the subtle guidances too difficult to follow — of looking and finding that you are earlier than anything you can perceive — there is a simpler but equally powerful exercise. It is to be confirmed in the ‘I am’ vibration. You all know the sense of being. Without practising anything, all beings naturally refer to themselves as ‘I’, I am or I exist. ‘Am’ means to exist, to be. Who is the ‘I’ that am? The ‘I’ that exists? The sense of existence is naturally present within you and feels universally comfortable for all beings. It is there at the beginning of perception and functions during the waking state as the witness and observer of all that appears phenomenally and has meaning for the sense ‘I am’. Exercise one Start with the feeling ‘I exist’. It takes no time to locate this feeling. It is no distance from you. You don’t have to search for it as it is naturally present right where you are. It is the same as consciousness. Just remain self-aware. Don’t let this natural feeling of presence combine with any other concept, thought or intention. Remain empty. Ignore any information from the mind. Stay with this vibration of being — not merely the words ‘I am’ but the intuitive subjective sense of being. That’s all. And remember: don’t allow it to mix with anything else. Now, mind may creep in as thought and say, ‘Well, I don’t see anything, this isn’t working’, and all the usual mischievous noise to distract the attention may come. But you stay firmly in the simple, basic sense of emptiness. If you feel that somehow the attention is slipping away, don’t worry, just each time it is noticed, bring it back to emptiness. Practise this for short periods of about five to seven minutes at a time. In the beginning, you may find that sitting down is a good way to start the exercise. Gradually, as you continue, you will find you can do it while walking or doing most daily tasks. A variation Close your eyes and try to focus on the sense of being. The feeling ‘I am’ indicates this naturally. In the beginning you may feel tired easily, like it is a strain to do the exercise. Remember, you must not let the ‘I am’ feeling mix with other thoughts or sensations. Other thoughts may come and want to play, but do not engage. Just be with the ‘I am’ sense. Gradually, with a little more practice, you will see that the sense ‘I am’ stays by itself, without intrusion, and you will feel a sense of expansion and peace. A natural sense of wanting to stay more in this will come, but start like this, with little pockets of five to seven minutes. Eventually, the sense of being will stand by itself as pure presence. Mooji: his self-inquiry techniques help us discover our true nature Exercise two You are earlier than anything that is perceivable. Anything that you perceive cannot be what you are. Simply stay as this awareness. Witness that all thoughts and sensations, all phenomena, come and go. Notice that you are primarily this perceiving. The computer (of the mind) is on but you don’t log in. Simply look. You will gradually come to experience an immensity of Being. This will be your exercise as you move about in daily life or activities. Don’t run to books for anything. You will find your mind wants a massage every now and, again, as it is habituated to the feeling of being involved, of being important and included. Just observe this. You don’t have to suppress this energy of the mind. You can just let it be, but you yourself stay in the neutral observing space. Stay as the detached formless awareness. You will be able to watch and recognise that identity is just a thought, running from one story to another like a monkey jumping from branch to branch. In the past, it may have gone on for hours without you catching it, but as you continue to stay as the awareness, you will find your vibration strengthening and the consciousness rising to a higher altitude. The ability to catch the mind will be much easier for you now. As soon as identity is playing, a signal will come inside and you will be able to recognise this play with detachment. Now, do you want to continue to wear personal identity? And what is witnessing this identity playing? Don’t let the mind answer for you. Keep quiet. Check in and verify, ‘I am simply here.’ As what are you here? Again you see, ‘I have no comment to make about it. It’s just a sense of being.’ This is the same as the exercise to stay as the ‘I am’. That is also the sense of being which is naturally here — the sense ‘I am’. Then at a certain point, you may start to see, ‘But the ‘I am’ also is seen. The ‘I am’ also is perceived. The sense of presence is also felt.’ Don’t be in a hurry for this. When the ‘I am the person’ idea is sieved through, it becomes just the ‘I am’. If you can come to the sense of just the unmixed presence, this is already tremendous. You are in the field of grace. If you try to force this recognition, then you bring the mind in again and it will seem as though the mind has accomplished something. And what are the wages for the mind? He gets to stay. Avoid this. You may feel that without this exercise, you are already naturally in a place of rest. As you move about, you find that the movement is happening spontaneously, but there is no keeping account of it. Everything is fresh and the attention is not visiting the past or seeking reassurance. It is without need. This is your internal work. Internal work – eternal satisfaction. ● This guidance originally appeared on Mooji.org. It was posted here with the kind permission of the Mooji Team. All material including images are Copyright © Mooji Media Ltd. All rights reserved. For further information about Mooji, please visit www.mooji.org. To view Mooji's teachings and satsangs, please visit www.mooji.tv. About Mooji Since 1999, Mooji has been sharing satsang in the form of spontaneous encounters, retreats, satsang intensives and one-to-one meetings with the many seekers who visit him, from all parts of the world, in search of the direct experience of truth. Few amongst the modern teachers of the advaita tradition expound the ‘knowledge of Self’, and the method of self-enquiry, with such dazzling clarity, love and authority.

If intimacy doesn't come naturally to you, new research suggests ways to improve your romantic relationships. By Elizabeth Hopper on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. When people are uncomfortable with developing intimacy and closeness in their relationships, can they work to overcome this? The tendency to distance yourself from others is characteristic of an “avoidant attachment style,” which research traces back to childhood. When caregivers are available to respond to children’s needs, attachment theory says, children develop a secure attachment style: they trust others and feel comfortable relying on the people they are close to. However, when caregivers fail to meet children’s needs, they can develop insecure attachment: either attachment avoidance or attachment anxiety (the worry that others will fail to be there for them). Together apart: those with attachment issues find it hard to trust Unfortunately for some, attachment style seems to be relatively stable over time. Indeed, research has found that people with secure attachment styles tend to have more stable and long-lasting romantic relationships as adults, whereas people with more avoidant attachment styles tend to experience more negative emotions in social situations and often behave in less constructive ways during conflicts. However, a new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that people can actually start to change their attachment style over time and feel better about their relationships — and it might not be as hard as we think. Secure attachment: a study In one experiment, 70 heterosexual couples completed surveys about their relationship and then participated in a series of brief activities in the lab. Half of the couples completed activities designed to increase closeness and intimacy: they took turns answering questions about themselves (similar to these 36 questions, which other researchers have found to increase feelings of closeness). They also participated in partner yoga, where they held hands or otherwise connected to create poses. (The other half of the couples discussed more impersonal questions and participated in individual yoga). “The tendency to distance yourself from others is characteristic of an 'avoidant attachment style,' which research traces back to childhood.” After the intimacy-building exercises, participants with more avoidant attachment styles rated their relationships as higher-quality than they had beforehand. Meanwhile, participants with more secure or anxious attachment styles did not report increases in relationship satisfaction, nor did the couples who completed the other activities — suggesting that intimacy-building can uniquely benefit people with avoidant attachment. The benefits of connecting through shared activities appeared to be long-lasting, as well: according to a survey of participants, one month later, more avoidant participants who had done intimacy-building had actually decreased in attachment avoidance. Ride forward: connect more through shared activities The researchers found similar benefits for spontaneous interactions that couples had at home. In a different study, 67 heterosexual couples in long-term relationships filled out diaries each night for three weeks about their feelings and their partner’s behaviours towards them. Listen and be loved The researchers found that when participants’ romantic partners acted in positive ways — such as listening to them or making them feel loved — the participants felt more positive emotions and fewer negative emotions, and rated their relationship as higher-quality. These links were most pronounced for participants with more avoidant attachment styles, suggesting (again) that they can especially benefit from good experiences in a relationship. Importantly, the activities that helped people with an avoidant attachment style didn’t require a huge effort or time commitment. The researchers found that even simple things, like taking turns answering thoughtful questions with your partner or trying an activity together, can have benefits. (Another experiment they conducted found that simply reflecting on positive relationship memories could help reduce the elevated negative emotions that avoidantly attached people tend to experience.) Sarah Stanton, assistant professor at the University of Edinburgh and lead author of the paper, explains that changing your relationship can start with straightforward activities like these. As she tells Greater Good, “It really can just be as simple as talking to your partner and opening up a little bit.” ● This article was written by Elizabeth Hopper and originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. Elizabeth Hopper, Ph.D., received her Ph.D. in psychology from UC Santa Barbara and currently works as a freelance science writer specializing in psychology and mental health. Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is honoured to republish them with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu

Practicing gratitude is a simple way to deal with bad situations and is scientifically proven to have a positive pay off on your health. Arlo Laibowitz examines the ways to be thankful and the benefits. The benefits of practicing gratitude are many. When we're going through tough times, or don’t feel satisfied with life, it's natural to focus on what we lack and take the things that we do have for granted. That's a missed opportunity. Many studies have shown that one of the keys to living a happy and fulfilled life is gratitude. So, how can we develop a gratitude practice? And what are the advantages of being grateful? What is gratitude? Gratitude is the affirmation of goodness in the world, of the gifts and benefits we receive, and the recognition that the source of this goodness is outside of us. Gratitude allows us to: Celebrate the present. Handle toxic or negative emotions better. Be more resistant to stress. And have a higher sense of self-worth. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Gratitude practices and programs One of the leading researchers on gratitude is Robert Emmons. He's developed gratitude programs and practices that centre around: Keeping a gratitude journal of three or five things you're grateful for, and thereby developing a daily gratitude practice. Remembering the bad. To be grateful in the now, it helps to remember hardships you've overcome. Asking yourself three questions. “What have I received from __?”, “What have I given to __?”, and “What troubles and difficulty have I caused?” Learning prayers of gratitude, or looking for secular alternatives to express gratitude for existence on a regular basis. Coming to your senses. Appreciate everything you can see, smell, taste, and hear. Using visual reminders, to help you appreciate what you have. Making a vow to practice gratitude, which could be as simple as a piece of paper saying “I vow to count my blessings each day.” Minding your language. Use words like 'blessing', 'fortune', 'abundance', and so on. Focus on your speech on others instead of yourself. Going through the motions. Doing grateful actions will make you more grateful; smile, say thank you, and write letters of gratitude. Thinking outside the box. Look for new situations and circumstances to feel grateful. On a practical level, your gratitude practice can consist of many things, from writing a handwritten ‘thank you’-letter, to creating an appreciation calendar, saying “I’m grateful” for everything you touch on a given day, calling your parents or children and expressing your appreciation, sharing a positive post of gratitude on social media, or giving your time or money to a cause or charity. Good stuff: be grateful, feel better! What are the benefits of a gratitude practice? The benefits of gratitude practices range from physical benefits, like having a stronger immune system, lower blood pressure, and better sleep, to psychological benefits like higher levels of positivity, more alertness, joy, and pleasure, to social benefits like being more helpful, generous, compassionate, forgiving, and more connected. People who experience the most gratitude (and therefore the positive effects) tend to: Feel a sense of abundance in their lives. Appreciate the contributions of others to their well-being. Recognise and enjoy life's small pleasures. Acknowledge the importance of experiencing and expressing gratitude. In short, developing and maintaining gratitude practices radically transforms your outlook and experience of life. Practice gratitude on a regular basis, and start reaping these benefits for yourself! ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Stress management | Mindfulness | Burnout Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.

Rae Bathgate takes a look at a new study focusing around the words associated with happiness. Just what exactly do people relate the word 'happiness' with? The results can teach us how to be more joyful. What does happiness mean to you? Every person is their own world, so every answer is different: you may conjure up a memory, I may think of one person, while some even relate it to a smile or a laugh. But how often does happiness make you think of others? One study asked 521 female participants the following question: what three words come to mind when you think of happiness? While not the most original question, a new study titled “What does happiness prompt in your mind? Culture, word choice, and experienced happiness", conducted between Korea and the United States, shows that it may be worth to sit down and ask ourselves this question more often. The method used in this study was free-association, shown to be an accurate indicator of one’s own self, and in it, evidence surfaced that one type of answer mattered more than others when it comes to happiness. Unsurprisingly, it’s not money, success, fame, glamour, nor is it, sadly, raindrops on roses or warm woollen mittens. Rather, the most revealing words are social words, interpersonal words – in short, those related to other people. Group gains: can friendships boost your happiness? While knowing how often you associate these words with happiness seems to be a telling indicator of how happy you might be, the good news is that you can choose who these other people are (meaning that you can build your own social circle). This phenomenon seems to exist in a positive feedback loop, where fuelling social behaviour – especially helping others – may be the key to a higher life satisfaction. Words associated with happiness The study, conducted by the Yonsei University in Korea and the University of California, Santa Barbara (by researchers Ji-Eun Shin and Eunkook M. Suh, and Kimin Oem and Heejung S. Kim respectively) asked 521 female participants from both countries the following question: “What three words come to mind when you think of happiness?” The test was conducted as a free association task, meaning that subjects were to produce some words (in this case, three) that came to mind related to a prompted cue (in this case, the word “happiness”). Researchers focused on answers they categorised as “social:” These social words, as viewed by the researchers, were ones that simply referred to things like interpersonal relationships. Some examples of the words used were: for abstract values (e.g., “love") specific person (e.g., “friend" or “family") relationships (e.g., “dating”) The ties that bind Out of 1,563 words in total, Koreans wrote down social words more often (42 per cent of the time) as opposed to Americans, who associated social words with happiness only 32 per cent of the time. The most common word among Korean participants was also a social word (“family”) compared to the American words “smile” and “laugh.” Even when looking specifically at Americans’ preferred social words, they tended to be more on chosen social ties, with the words “friends” and “friendship.” This difference between our ideas of happiness is not new and had even been predicted by the researchers. What’s more, the study further mirrored findings that connected loneliness to a lack of family ties in collectivist societies, like in Korea, whereas in America loneliness was more often associated with a lack of friends and confidants. “This phenomenon seems to exist in a positive feedback loop, where fuelling social behaviour – especially helping others – may be the key to a higher life satisfaction.” Rather, the central question to be tested was whether participants who used more social words associated with happiness were, in fact, happier. It turns out the answer is yes. “In both cultures, those who mentioned more social words enjoyed significantly higher life satisfaction,” reported the researchers. This suggests that “defining happiness in social terms is beneficial to happiness in both cultures,” conclude researchers, adding that, “the current finding affirms in a novel way that social experience is indeed a core block of happiness.” RELATED: Money can't buy happiness – except when you spend it like this So, how can we move towards greater social connection (whatever that may mean to you) and consequently, towards a happier life? The answer may be simple. Participants who had a higher incidence of social words and a higher reported level of happiness also reported engaging in activities to help others more often, and previous studies have shown that altruistic activities seem to make us happy. Net gains: group activity, such as fishing, is important While researchers acknowledge that the results of this study are mostly correlative, not causative, they suggest that participating in such activities will start a positive feedback loop, thereby making you happier, teaching you to associate happiness with social connectivity, leading you to seek out and provide social support, causing you to be happier, and so on. Haven't we studied this before? Happiness, its causes, and its components have long been a source of research interest. In academia, there has been extensive documentation and widespread agreement "that positive social experience is one of the most significant predictors of happiness,” as written by Shin, Suh, Oem and Kim. Some researchers even go as far as to suggest that social experience was the only condition for happiness, other than the absence of psychopathology (Diener and Seligman, 2002). “Participants who had a higher incidence of social words and a higher reported level of happiness also reported engaging in activities to help others more often.” Previously used methods have been yes/no questionnaires, or longer, free-form essays; while both accurate to an extent, these methods often proved either too restrictive or not enough so. While seemingly simple, free-association, on the other hand, has yielded powerful results in the world of psychology, proving itself an accurate predictor of personality aspects and demographic characteristics. This, according to researchers, is because, “Words that are called up when we think about happiness are a sort of cognitive 'package,' created based on our upbringing, culture and personal experiences.” Shin, Suh, Oem and Kim’s work also asked participants to report on their level of happiness and social involvement. Global happiness was measured using the most widely used method, the Cantril’s Self-Anchoring Scale, while the rest of the study focused on establishing "the person’s level of interest, desire, and competence for developing a relationship with others,” with concepts like: emotional support belonging loneliness optimism efficacy interpersonal closeness How others make you happier Researchers Shin, Suh, Oem and Kim specify that their study is to be taken as a complement to previous work, noting that the primary objective is to draw a parallel between "beliefs about happiness and how they relate to actual experiences of happiness,” by delving into two countries’ deeply-held beliefs about the subject. So, does linking happiness to social relationships give you a more positive outlook on life? Not necessarily. The study showed that in both ascribed (e.g. “family”) and self-chosen (e.g. “friends”) relationships, there was no difference in optimism by those who used more social words. Better together: social connectivity is one key to happiness However, these subjects reported feeling significantly less lonely, as researchers Shin, Suh, Oem and Kim note: “They believed that their selves overlapped more with others, desired more social belongingness, and presumably as a consequence, were less lonely.” Indeed, this stronger social connection (or, as the researchers put it, the content of happiness) seems to indicate a higher level of happiness: in other words, if your definition of happiness is to spend quality time with others, the chances are that you will be happier. RELATED: Happiness in different cultures This held true for both American and Korean participants, indicating that “holding a socially rich theory of happiness is beneficial to the mental health of both Americans and Koreans,” explain the researchers, who conclude that, “Fulfilment of social need seems to be a universally necessary condition of happiness.” What does it all mean? Social interaction is a tricky thing: for each person, some days and nights lend themselves to picnics, bonfires, dancing and socialising, and days that are fabricated more for some alone time with a book. With their study, Shin, Suh, Oem and Kim aren’t suggesting that the real key to happiness is only through social interaction. Rather, their research supports the idea that those who associate happiness with the notion of strong, reliable social relationships seem to be the happiest. So, how does one change one’s beliefs about what happiness means? Well, apart from continuing to read up on the subject of the key to happiness, you can jump-start a positive feedback loop by engaging in activities that foster strong relationships, preferably ones where you (yes, you!) can help someone else. Cultivating social ties, especially those where you can give back as well are proven to make you happier –or at least, less lonely – which in turn may change your whole perspective on what happiness means. ● Main image: colourbox.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Positive psychology | Life purpose | Motivation Written by Rae Bathgate Rae Bathgate is an American journalist based in Barcelona, where she enjoys sunlight, yoga, and bookbinding.

Where does happiness come from? James Holloway suggests that ancient philosophers such as Epicurus, Plato and Herodotus may hold some of the answers. We spend a lot of time and effort trying to make ourselves happy, but we hardly ever think about what happiness actually is. Is it a situation? A state of mind? A spiritual experience? Well, if anyone would know, it'd be the wisest philosophers of the ancient world, right? Well, not exactly. We'd all like to think that some ancient sage somewhere in the history of happiness had the secret completely figured out. A thorough reading of philosophical writings, however, can just leave you more confused than when you started. Some philosophers defined happiness as meaning something different than we would with our current set of ideals. While others had some rather unusual ideas about how to achieve it. The history of happiness: Epicurus Let's start with one of the later Greek philosophers, Epicurus. Probably no thinker has had his name more misused than poor old Epicurus. Today, when we call someone an Epicurean or an epicure, we mean that they love to eat, drink and live well. Ironically, that's exactly the sort of claim that Epicurus' followers spent a lot of time defending themselves against. The reason for this misconception stems from Epicurus' understanding of the relationship between happiness and morality. For the Epicureans, the senses were a guide to life: if something felt good, that was a sign you should do it. If it felt bad, it should be avoided. Epicurus: eat, play and be happy! © Eric Gaba/Sting Sounds like a simple code! But not so fast. While this might sound like a simple – and mostly harmless – rule to follow, Epicurus' teachings had a lot of critics. They objected to the principle of hedonism, which they said was a quick pathway to immoral behaviour. Hedonism being defined as the pursuit of pleasure or self-indulgence. It has various interpretations, mainly of the immoral persuasion. “If it feels good, do it?” What if what felt good was just lying around all day getting drunk? These critics caricatured the Epicureans as pleasure-obsessed brutes who ignored the idea of a higher, spiritual happiness. Nothing could be further from the truth. Epicureans, in turn, vigorously denied that they were any such things. Instead, Epicurus and his followers claimed that feeling good was about more than getting drunk and having sex. They derived that genuine happiness came from the absence of worry and stress. A condition they called ataraxia. And how do you achieve ataraxia? The secret is summed up in the tetrapharmakos, the “four-fold cure.” Don't fear God Don't worry about death What is good is easy to get What is terrible is easy to endure “For the Epicureans, the senses were a guide to life. If something felt good, that was a sign you should do it. If it felt bad, it should be avoided.” So, how do you achieve this? Obviously, by studying physics. Come again? It might seem like a weird answer, but it's the real deal, at least according to Epicurean philosopher Diogenes of Oinoanda. According to Diogenes – and from what we can reconstruct of Epicurus' teachings, which we mostly know from Diogenes. Many people are unhappy because they worry about evil omens and other supernatural phenomena. They worry about things that are in fact not real. Unproven by science and logic. If they all would just sit down and study science they would learn that those things aren't real. They'd soon be on their way to a worry-free and happy existence. So, there you have it. Follow your senses. Insofar as your senses lead you to a scientific understanding of the universe that you live in. On your quest for knowledge, I wouldn't necessarily recommend going to Epicurus for that scientific understanding, though. Since he seems to have believed that your brain was in your chest. A common belief at the time. He also recommended that you avoid physical pain. A piece of advice you probably don't need a philosopher for. So, perhaps Epicurus isn't the right guy to go to for advice on happiness. What about other great ancient philosophers? What about Plato? Well, remember all those philosophical critics who were lighting up Epicurus for the alleged immorality of his philosophy? They might have had a little more time for Plato's argument. If hedonism was the indulgence of only one thing: pleasure, Plato's idea had a far better ring to it for these critics. For Plato, being happy meant having a balanced personality: wise, brave, just and moderate. Above all, you had to be self-controlled. Athenian society of the era cared so much about self-control that they viewed people who liked seafood too much the way we view drug addicts. Too much desire for the pleasures in life – wine, sex and fish – was the sign of a disordered mind, a person more devoted to pleasure than happiness. Plato on happiness: Self-control and wisdom led to happiness © Bibi Saint-Pol Plato believed that you couldn't be happy without first being good. Which may be true, but it's harder to argue that all good people are necessarily happy, isn't it? How do you rate that? For Plato and his student Aristotle, virtue is central to happiness. And if you were really and truly virtuous you'd be able to deal with your misfortunes and stay happy. Thanks to your self-control. Make sense? “Too much desire for the pleasures in life – wine, sex and fish – was the sign of a disordered mind, a person more devoted to pleasure than happiness.” Herodotus: the father of history If a life of virtue and self-discipline doesn't sound like your ideal road to happiness. maybe some other Greek authors have a better option for us. Let's see what Herodotus, had to say on the subject of happiness. In a story about the great Greek lawmaker Solon, Herodotus puts this sentiment into his mouth. “If besides all this he ends his life well, then he is the one whom you seek, the one worthy to be called fortunate.” Many translations use “happy” instead of “fortunate,” and that's what leads most people to summarise this one as “call no man happy until he is dead.” According to Herodotus, you're not happy until you've passed a happy life and then died a happy death. Herodotus: Happiness lies in death © Wienwiki/Walter Maderbacher So, what can we learn from how ancient philosophers approached the idea of happiness? Well, on the surface it doesn't sound great. Leaving out Herodotus' grim dictum, everyone else seems to agree that happiness is ultimately internal. Something that comes from cultivating the right attitude toward the challenges life hits us with. And that's not surprising: the ancient world was a dangerous place. Disease, war and political unrest were common features of the landscape. Relying on the quality of your surroundings to make you happy was just asking to be disappointed. Cultivating a calm, realistic, balanced outlook – no matter how difficult that might sound – was a far safer bet. And even in a world where we're not as likely to suddenly perish of a disease no one can identify, get speared by the invading Persians or be turned into an animal by a jealous god, that might not be such bad advice after all. ● © Main image: Ingram Image Written by James Holloway James Holloway is a historian and freelancer writer living in Cambridge. In addition to teaching about all the usual kings-battles-and-inventions stuff, he spends his spare time researching and writing about the stranger corners of history, from forgotten holidays to quack medicines to werewolves.

Studies have shown that combining mindfulness with physical activity can help fight depression, rumination and anxiety. Our mindfulness expert Ann Vrlak looks at the benefits of mindful running and offers up six practical tips on how to do it. Have you heard of mindful running? Even if you’re not a regular runner, this combination of mindfulness and physical exercise may give you ideas on ways to bring mindfulness to another exercise to make it more powerful and enjoyable for you. What is mindful running? A common definition of mindfulness is gentle moment-to-moment awareness. When you practise mindfulness, you try to observe the thoughts, feelings, physical sensations or situations you find yourself in from one moment to the next. The key is gentle, curious attention. No criticism or judgment allowed! In the same way, people who practise mindful running pay attention to the moment while they are powering their body forward: to physical sensations, like their breath, the impact of their feet on the ground, the movements of their arms, and more. This focus takes the runner’s attention away from how far they’ve run, how far they have to go, what they have to do at work later, etc. Can you imagine how a marathoner would feel if all he or she was always thinking about how far they had to go? “ Only another 20K... another 19.5K...” Not much fun! Mindful running means no listening to music! shutterstock/NDAB Creativity The biggest plus of mindful running, and the reason it has really been catching on recently, is that it deepens and expands people’s experience of running – and of themselves. Many people run as a means to an end – they run to lose weight or reduce stress – rather than as an end in itself. So, turning running into an activity that is enjoyable is a win-win situation for runners! Mindful running: the benefits When you practise mindful running, you enjoy the usual, wonderful benefits of mindfulness: more connection to the moment, less distraction, stress-relief, more self-awareness, a sense of well-being – and more. Add the benefits of running and you have an activity that is a powerhouse for mind-body health. However, this isn't something completely new. Indeed, this kind of combination of mindfulness and physical activity is a long-standing tradition. For example, consider yoga. It's a practise that interweaves conscious physical movement with a mindful attitude. When you do yoga poses, you’re encouraged to observe and be with physical tension and relaxation, with the limits of your body and with how your attention changes your experience of your body. There is also an Eastern meditative tradition of walking meditation. This practice is taught as a practical way to link meditation to everyday activities. Students practise being mindful of every time their foot touches the earth, leaves the ground, pauses, and so on. “The biggest plus of mindful running, and the reason it has really been catching on recently, is that it deepens and expands people’s experience of running – and of themselves.” The benefits of this kind of activity has been backed up by science and there have been a few recent studies into this modern version of mindful, physical activity. For example, the combination of physical and mental effects of mindful running has led some to call it a “new therapy” for anxiety and depression. A 2018 study from the University of Southern California involving 158 college students concluded that mindful movement helps to lower anxiety and stress levels. Likewise, a 2016 study from Rutgers University, USA, involving 52 people found a strong correlation between mindful exercise and improved mental health. Participants had to carry out a 20 minute breath meditation followed by 10 minutes of walking meditation and then 30 minutes of aerobic exercise in the form of running on treadmills. Significantly, the 22 volunteers with depression reported a 40 per cent reduction in symptoms of the condition. In particular, there was much less inclination to ruminate over bad memories. RELATED: How to stop ruminating with these 3 techniques Furthermore, the benefits of mindful running can be felt while in the middle of doing it, and not just following the event. Footwear company Asics looked at how psychological factors affect running performance. It found some indications that calm minds can improve performance, and reduce heart rate and other measures of body stress. So, how do you run mindfully? Mindful running simply means being as present as you can while you are on the move. For example, rather than listening to music or watching TV on the treadmill, daydreaming or hoping the end of the run comes soon, you focus on your moment-to-moment experience: sensations in your body, the movement of your arms and legs, the feeling of your breath and, also, the activity of your mind. Here are some tips to help you put your best foot forward. 1. Start where you want to finish Before you start a run, before you even warm up, take a minute to calm your body and mind. Is running something you squeeze in after a work day? Or, is it something you “just want to get out of the way?” If this sounds like you, it will be important for you to take just two or three minutes to slow down and become present before your run. Here are two simple mindfulness practices you can try: Body scan This exercise can be done standing, sitting or lying down, with your eyes closed or open. Starting with your hands, notice how your hands feel, from the inside. Are they tingly, warm or cold? Notice as many physical sensations as you can. Then let your attention move throughout your body, from finger tips, to the top of your head and all the way to your toes. Do your best to feel each area at least a little before you move on to the next area. 4-7-8 breath This is one of the most powerful relaxation breaths. This exercise can also be done in any position, with eyes open or closed. The 4-7-8 refers to the counting cycle of your breath. You inhale to a count of four through your nose, hold your breath to a count of seven and exhale slowly to a count of eight through your mouth. Repeat four to six times. 2. Listen to yourself, not music or podcasts I know, this is probably the hardest suggestion for most of us to follow! We can’t imagine going for a run without music to keep us energized. But, remember, the purpose of mindful running is to deepen your connection with yourself, with how your run is affecting you. Try going without listening to a device for a week and see what happens. You may be surprised how much simpler and pleasant your running experience is. Mindful running: observe your thought and feelings shutterstock/KieferPix 3. Focus on the physical Become a dear and trusted friend to your body. You do your best to watch your breath. How is it feeling right now? Laboured or smooth? How is your balance? Are your shoulders tensed or relaxed? The trick is just to notice, without getting lost in trains of thought about anything you notice. Just notice with a gentle attention, and keep noticing. 4. Be interested in thoughts and feelings, too Part of your moment-to-moment experience will no doubt include thoughts and feelings. Of course, it will! They are not a problem and are simply a part of what you are mindful of. If you feel bored, notice that kindly, then let it go. Thinking about a big project at work? Notice the thought, then keep your attention moving. What else do you notice? These are all part of the flow of the moment, as you move and breathe, move and breathe. “When you practise mindful running, you enjoy the usual, wonderful benefits of mindfulness: more connection to the moment, less distraction, stress-relief, more self-awareness, a sense of well-being.” 5. Comfort your discomfort If your physical sensations go beyond neutral into discomfort, this is a cue to become even more mindful and gentle. Pay attention in as open and curious a way as you can. Is the discomfort something you can watch until it passes? Or is the discomfort telling you that you’ve hit your limit for the day? The more you practise mindful running, the more familiar you will become with your body’s language. You’ll be able to distinguish between a passing signal of fatigue, a need to adjust your stride or a body signal saying, “no more today!” 6. Finish mindfully When you finish your run, don’t just rush into whatever is next in your day. Just as you began your run, take two or three minutes of quiet time to connect with your body and mind. Notice if your thoughts and feelings are calm or agitated. And what is your body telling you? Again, just notice as kindly as you can and perhaps feel a little gratitude for whatever your experience has been. Conclusions on mindful running This crossroads of mindfulness and running has a lot to offer – whether you're coming along the road of mindfulness or running. The tradition of bringing mind and body together is at the heart of virtually every meditative tradition around the world. Mindful running is a way to create a bridge between mindfulness and everyday living, for each activity to support and deepen your experience of the other. Fitness giant Nike partnered with the popular mindfulness app Headspace to create a series of mindful running guided meditations. Try one out! If running isn’t a part of your life right now, consider trying mindful walking. Wherever you start, start slow and enjoy. ● Main image: shutterstock/sutadimages happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude | Meditation | Nature | Stress Management Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

It’s a fact; the art of practising gratitude can make you happier, healthier and improve your personal relationships. Victoria Haynes looks at the many benefits, and finds some great ways to cultivate the gratitude attitude. Taking the time to be grateful makes a real difference to your daily life. I try to practise the attitude of gratitude as often as possible, and every time I do, I get a little happiness boost. I’m not talking about grand gestures, either; simply thanking someone for holding a door or giving flowers to show my appreciation are all it takes. Knowing I’ve made someone feel good, and seeing their reaction has the power to take my day to the next level. Expressing gratitude in times of crisis is especially important. The Covid-19 pandemic has left people around the globe feeling anxious and hopeless, but if you look closely enough, pockets of gratitude have been popping up everywhere. Around the world hard-working frontline staff have been celebrated with rounds of applause while caring community members have sacrificed time to create much-needed PPE for teams that have been saving lives and caring for the sick. Gratitude has helped to unite communities and give hope where it seemed like there has been none. In fact, as humans, we’re programmed to focus on the negative aspects of life, so it’s not always easy to find things to be grateful for. At the end of a bad day, it can seem impossible to sit down and feel thankful – which is why we need to change our thinking. Choosing to focus on the positives and enjoy the little things, even when times are tough, is the key to cultivating a long-lasting attitude of gratitude. Attitude of gratitude: the benefits There are many scientifically-proven benefits to practising gratitude regularly. From obvious things, such as increased happiness and better relationships, to more surprising positives such as improved sleep patterns, here’s our top six reasons to harness the gratitude attitude. 1. Increased personal happiness Being thankful makes you feel great, and it’s an easy way to get a natural high and reduce negative emotions. It’s not just about you, though; gratitude is a beautiful two-way transaction. Expressing and receiving thanks encourages our brains to release happiness hormones such as dopamine and serotonin, giving us a sudden burst of joy. Journaling for gratitude shutterstock/WAYHOME studio And it’s more than just speculation. In 2009 scientists conducted a study at the National Institute of Health (NIH) into the effects of gratitude on brain activity, and the results were overwhelmingly positive. Subjects showed increased activity in the hypothalamus – the area which releases those feel-good chemicals – when they practised gratitude. Indeed, it’s scientifically proven that an attitude of gratitude has the power to rewire your brain. 2. Deeper relationships As well as making you feel good, adopting a gratitude attitude can build and strengthen relationships with others. It’s easy to fall into the trap of taking those close to you for granted, so remembering to thank your nearest and dearest can do wonders for your relationships. It works in two ways; remembering to be grateful makes us more appreciative of our partners, family and friends, while at the same time creating a cycle of gratitude. The more likely we are to express our thanks, the more likely we are to receive it. “Choosing to focus on the positives and enjoy the little things, even when times are tough, is the key to cultivating a long-lasting attitude of gratitude.” This isn’t just limited to loved ones, either – expressing gratitude in the workplace can lead to better communication and productivity. Research carried out at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania found that fund-raisers who had been thanked for their efforts made 50 per cent more fund-raising calls than those that hadn’t. 3. Improved patience and decision making You might not naturally link the two together, but striving to be a grateful person is a great way to improve your patience and decision making levels as well. We live in an age where we’re encouraged to aim for more of everything; bigger houses, more holidays, a better paid job. Many people want it all and they want it now! Studies have shown that people who happen to be more grateful, also tend to be less impatient and make better decisions. The thinking is that the more able you are to see the positives in your current situation, the less likely you are to crave new short-term gratification. 4. Boosted resilience Being grateful changes your entire outlook on life. It gives you the ability to thrive under pressure, make the best of difficult situations and allows you to find the good in an otherwise terrible day. With patience, you can train your brain to focus on the positives rather than the negatives, giving you the confidence to deal with any kind of adversity. Researchers at Georgia Southern University have proven the theory. They took two groups of people, and asked only one of them to perform a gratitude-based exercise. The group who were assigned the gratitude task reported to have experienced more resilience and coping skills during the experience than the group who hadn’t participated. 5. Reduced anxiety and depression If gratitude can make you happier, it stands to reason it can have a positive impact on mental health problems. If you're living with anxiety or depression, it’s possible that adopting an attitude of gratitude and focusing on the positives could play a vital role in recovery. Aside from encouraging the production of both dopamine and serotonin, gratitude practice reduces the production of stress hormones. In 1998 McCraty et al conducted an experiment into emotional self-management and stress. Their findings showed that there was a 23 per cent reduction of cortisol – a stress hormone – in the experimental group, who had been instructed to take part in an appreciation exercise. Express thanks with gifts or letters shutterstock/StudioByTheSea Another study discovered that the act of gratitude writing was incredibly beneficial to mental health. Researchers asked participants to either write letters of gratitude, note down their most negative experiences, or write nothing. They found that the group who took part in writing gratitude letters reported better mental health several weeks after the study had been completed. 6. Better physical health It’s been scientifically proven that people who practice expressing gratitude regularly also enjoy better physical health. A gratitude attitude is the secret to enjoying less pain, better sleep, less stress and more energy. People who focus on the positives in life tend to be more relaxed and are far happier than those who don’t. “If you're living with anxiety or depression, it's possible that adopting an attitude of gratitude and focusing on the positives could play a vital role in recovery.” Sounds too good to be true, right? Then let the science convince you. In 2003 researchers Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough carried out an investigation into whether gratitude had a positive effect on daily life and well-being. The students who took part and kept a gratitude journal for two weeks went on to report less headaches and other physical ailments than the group who were asked to write about negative events. How to cultivate the gratitude attitude Harnessing an attitude of gratitude doesn’t have to be difficult. At first, it might seem tricky to retrain your brain to look for the positives rather than allow it to focus on the negatives, but the more you practice, the more obvious it will become. Try some of the following methods: Gratitude journals Keeping a gratitude journal doesn’t mean you have to write pages and pages every day. It could be as simple as starting the day by noting down things you’re looking forward to, or ending it by recording a few positive events that happened. The aim is to simply lead your brain away from any negatives. Expressing thanks to family and friends It might sound basic, but just the act of saying thank you to your closest family and friends is a great place to begin on your quest for a gratitude attitude. We often forget to express gratitude for the everyday things – so start now! Writing letters Thankful for something? Write someone a letter and tell them how grateful they are, and how much of an impact they’ve had on your life. Meditating on gratitude If you already practice meditation, you’re halfway there. Meditating on gratitude is the art of sitting quietly and concentrating on all the things you’re thankful for. The gratitude attitude: conclusions It’s scientifically proven that gratitude has the power to change your life. Increased health and happiness, better interpersonal relationships and a boost to your brain power – what could be better? Grab that notebook and start your gratitude journal today. ● If you're interested in learning more about cultivating a more grateful approach to life, consider enroling in our 10-day online course, Mastering the Attitude of Gratitude. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online Academy classes Gratitude | Acceptance | Letting go | Journaling Written by Victoria Haynes Victoria Haynes is a freelance writer from the South Coast of the UK, who loves nothing more than a strong cup of tea, a good novel and the great outdoors.

As the Northern Hemisphere enjoyed summer kicking in, a lot of feel-good news stories focussed on the relaxation of lockdown rules in many parts of the globe. However, there were many other news stories that also showed how positive the world can be, too. Ed Gould shares his Top Ten round-up from July to uplift and inspire. 1. Mindfulness can help arthritis sufferers, study shows A recent scientific programme that centred on a group of arthritis sufferers has found that practising mindfulness can help to reduce the debilitating fatigue that many people with the condition feel. The study discovered that people with rheumatoid arthritis and a more acute condition known as ankylosing spondylitis were more likely to overcome 'fatigue-related disabilities'. A team in New Zealand worked on the premise that tiredness alone could not always account for the fatigue that people living with rheumatoid arthritis felt and that, therefore, there must be a psychological explanation. Since mindfulness sessions helped to make people feel more present in the moment, fatigue levels reported by participants dropped significantly. 2. Tiger population is growing, experts say According to the BBC and numerous Asian media sources, the tiger population in Eastern India and Southeast Asia is not as under threat as previously thought. According to the World Wildlife Fund, global tiger numbers were as low as 2,300 as little as ten years ago. However, naturalists now think that this number of tigers now inhabit India alone. In that period their numbers are thought to have doubled in Nepal and more sightings have been reported in Bhutan, China and Russia. Parts of Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia and Bangladesh are now also seeing more wild tigers as conservation efforts to protect their habitat continue in the region. Tiger numbers are on the increase 3. New model for solar energy is sweeping Africa According to a report in African Business, a pay-as-you-go model for providing solar energy is taking off across the continent. The idea has led to greater affordability of the technology so that it can be used more widely in rural areas where they may be no mains electricity. The model now makes sense to many rural communities because solar panels are much more efficient than they used to be, thereby making them a viable alternative to using generators for local electrical production. The report stated that over five million pay-as-you-go solar projects had been initiated in the last five years. 4. Oxytocin may lead to Alzheimer's treatment A report published by Science Daily suggests that oxytocin may be the key to a successful treatment for the degenerative disorder, Alzheimer's disease. Oxytocin is a natural hormone secreted by pituitary gland. It has long been associated with feelings of love and pleasure. The Tokyo University of Science has led the research into the hormone which appears to act as repairer of the amyloid plaques that are found in the brains of people with the condition. Their work on mice showed that these plaques, which are associated with failing memory function, were less prevalent when more oxytocin was present. RELATED: Happiness hormones – the neurochemicals of happiness 5. Robots used to track endangered whales The number of sperm whales is thought to be worryingly low, but marine biologists don't know for sure how many creatures there might be as they are notoriously difficult to track. However, according to i-News, robotic gliders have been deployed for the first time to help scientists in their work. Developed by the University of East Anglia, the gliders are already in use in the Eastern Mediterranean where there are thought to be little more than 2,000 sperm whales. Using the whales' clicking calls to track them, the gliders will help researchers to find out what problems the whales encounter so that counter-measures can be taken to protect them further. A sperm whale family shutterstock/Catmando 6. British people quit smoking in large numbers There have not been many good news stories related to the global pandemic this year despite some promising work that is ongoing into a possible vaccine. That said, UK smokers have been quitting the habit in their droves since the contagion broke out. In fact, it's estimated that over a million Brits have given up their habit in 2020 alone. A survey conducted by Action on Smoking and Health found that many people had chosen to quit as a direct result of COVID-19, which is known to be more dangerous for people with respiratory problems. 7. Pakistan well ahead of climate change goals Most governments around the world have set themselves targets to reduce their contribution to global carbon emissions. Some are on track to achieve them while others are behind their stated aims. Nevertheless, Pakistan enjoyed some feel-good news when it was reported by various Asian news agencies that the South Asian country has already met its targets. Indeed, the government's adviser on climate change, Malik Amin Aslam, announced in July that Pakistan had reached its target ten years ahead of its deadline thanks to its 13-point climate action plan. 8. Bison to roam England for the first time in a millennium You might think of bison as wonderful creatures that once only roamed the wide prairies of North America. But, in fact, the European species was once a native of the British Isles. According to the Independent, bison will be experimentally introduced into the wild in Kent this year. The project has come at a cost of £1 million but naturalists have said this is feel-good news not just for the species concerned but for the biodiversity of the UK as a whole. Initially, a herd of four bison will be allowed to roam Blean Woods, close to the city of Canterbury, alongside the ponies which live in the wild there already. Could Bison be seen again in the UK? shutterstock/Filip Fuxa 9. New farming method could help to extract carbon dioxide Global warming has long been known to be linked to the amount of carbon dioxide – as well as other gases – that are released into the environment. However, a report in the Guardian stated that something as simple as spreading rock dust on fields could help to absorb CO2 from the air, trapping it so that it does not augment the greenhouse gases that are already being emitted. Professor David Beerling, who led the study at the University of Sheffield, said that the rock dust locks CO2 as carbonate and the method can even help to improve crop yields, as well. Many farmers already spread limestone dust so the move to rock dust need not take a lot of adjustment. 10. Innovative dietary idea could be a breakthrough in breast cancer treatment According to a report in Cancer Network, a new diet that mimics the effects of fasting may be an alternative therapy that those living with breast cancer can make use of. In their work, a team of researchers from the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles found that the diet was highly effective when used alongside a conventional treatment, such as chemotherapy. Employing the diet prior to starting a course of anti-cancer drugs was found to be successful for the majority of women involved in the trial. Main image: shutterstock/Ondrej Prosicky Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

The researchers behind the original 'happiness pie chart' share what they've learned in the past 15 years. By Kira M. Newman on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. Do you know the happiness pie chart? If you’ve read a book or listened to a talk about happiness in the past 15 years, there’s a good chance you heard that 50 per cent of our happiness is determined by our genes, 40 per cent by our activities, and 10 per cent by our life circumstances. Neat and tidy, the pie chart — originally proposed in a 2005 paper by researchers Sonja Lyubomirsky, Kennon M. Sheldon, and David Schkade — painted a clear picture of what contributes to our well-being. Unfortunately for some of us, the chart suggested, the genes we got from our parents play a big role in how fulfilled we feel. But it also contained good news: by engaging in healthy mental and physical habits, we can still exert a lot of control over our own happiness. RELATED: Is happiness genetic? In recent years, critics have raised questions about this simple formula — one that many summaries (including mine above) misreport anyway. And now, a decade and a half after the pie was baked, two of the authors are coming out to say that they agree with many of the criticisms. Even so, they add, their broader message still holds: It’s possible to take deliberate steps to get happier and to stay happier in life. The proof in the pie “When you are given a graph that is this clean, it seems reasonable to be skeptical,” warns George Mason University professor Todd Kashdan in his blog post critiquing the pie chart. While the pie has separate slices, he argues, our genes, our life circumstances, and our activities aren’t three isolated factors that influence our happiness directly. They can also influence each other, muddying those distinctions. The original happiness pie chart For example, Kashdan writes, you may have a gene for leadership, but you won’t necessarily turn into an adept leader unless you find yourself in the right life circumstances (for starters, a supportive social environment). Or, as the University of Groningen’s Nicholas Brown and the University of Leipzig’s Julia M. Rohrer write in their 2019 paper, perhaps you have a genetic disposition toward anxiety — activated by the circumstances of your stressful childhood — that is putting a damper on your happiness. As these examples illustrate, and new studies are showing, genes may be expressed or not depending on what happens in our lives (both what happens to us — our circumstances — and what we choose to do — our intentional activities). In the other direction, genes can influence our tendency to engage in activities that will make us happier, such as exercise, acts of kindness, or pursuing goals. RELATED: The power of kindness Even assuming these three factors could be totally separated, critics argue that the 50 per cent for genes and 10 per cent for life circumstances are underestimates — making the 40 per cent figure too high. For example, Brown and Rohrer cite recent research suggesting that the heritability of happiness is 70 to 80 per cent. The 10 per cent figure was based on studies mainly measuring demographics — like age, income, education, race, and sex, they point out. But the term “life circumstances” is extremely broad and includes (as Lyubomirsky and her colleagues noted in 2005) “the national, geographical, and cultural region in which a person resides.” But studies done in a single country probably won’t capture the widest possible variation in life circumstances like these, which may explain why the 10 percent slice is too small. “Happiness can be successfully pursued, but it is not easy.” Sonja Lyubomirsky and Kennon M. Sheldon Finally, even assuming the 50/40/10 was right, there is that crucial misunderstanding that countless speakers and publications have perpetuated: these numbers don’t represent how much of our individual happiness comes from various sources, but how much of the differences among people (in general) do. If your happiness is 8/10, you can’t say that 3.2 points of that is determined by your activities; you can merely say that just under half of the average gaps between your happiness and other people’s comes down to what activities everyone is doing. Put that way, not only is the conclusion less catchy, but the control we have over our own well-being seems much less significant. Happiness science today In their updated paper about the pie chart, Sheldon and Lyubomirsky acknowledge that they largely agree with these criticisms. The numbers were intended to be estimates in a thought experiment, says Lyubomirsky, adding that their original paper should have clarified how our genes, circumstances, and activities can influence and interact with each other. “Our aim [more than 18 years ago] was more to pose a question — is it possible for happiness to go up — and to stay up? — than to provide an answer,” says Lyubomirsky. “Like all pie charts, ours was a gross oversimplification.” What determines happiness? Unsplash/Fernando Brasil She and Sheldon also admit that activities may influence happiness less than they thought, contributing as little as 15 per cent of the differences in one study. On one hand, that might seem like bad news for those of us who devote substantial time and effort to our own self-improvement. On the other hand, it just confirms what we probably know already: “Happiness can be successfully pursued, but it is not ‘easy,’” they write. In other words, happiness for many people will simply be something that is hard won. For others, happiness may feel like a natural state. Debates aside, it’s clear that the optimistic message of the pie chart did inspire groundbreaking research over the last 15 years into positive psychology. We’ve learned that the behaviors and habits we engage in do matter — from gratitude to kindness to mindfulness — and that they can lead to an enduring happiness boost. And thanks to that research, we also have an understanding of what we can do to give ourselves the best chance of success: Choose activities that fit our personality and interests. Activities fit us better when they feel natural, enjoyable, and aligned with our values, rather than driven by guilt or other people’s expectations. Choose activities that are virtuous and meaningful, rather than obsessing about feeling good all the time. Hedonism won’t necessarily make you happy, even if you feel good in the moment. If we pursue pleasure, it shouldn’t be at the expense of living a meaningful life. We also need to pursue a purpose, and practice forgiveness, gratitude, and generosity — those give us a sense of competence, autonomy, and connection, which are core human needs. Commit to and put effort into the process. Unsurprisingly, people who invest more effort into their new habits see greater improvements in their well-being. Add variety into our routine. Doing an exercise — like writing gratitude letters — the same way over and over can mean that we become accustomed to it and don’t reap as many benefits. You have to keep your brain alive to possibilities. “People can create for themselves a steady inflow of engaging, satisfying, connecting, and uplifting positive experiences, thereby increasing the likelihood that they remain in the upper range of their happiness potentials,” Sheldon and Lyubomirsky write. At the end of the day, it’s impossible to predict how much happiness you’ll get from any specific change you make in life. We’re all individuals, and no pie chart can tell us that. What it can tell us, though, is that it’s worth it to try. ● Main image: shutterstock/Mavo This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is grateful to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu

Many of us show compassion easily to others but struggle when it comes to ourselves. Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains why self-compassion is essential to our well-being and offers six practical steps on practising it. When things go wrong, some of us will be able to support ourselves with warmth and self-compassion. However, many of us tend to do quite the opposite. We beat ourselves up. How did it come to be that we accepted to live our lives burdened with (unconstructive) self-criticism? As with anything else about the human psyche, the overly criticizing mindset is also a multilayered phenomenon. However, one of the most common causes are the beliefs and values we’ve developed during our childhood. And, although we still may show compassion to others during their times of need, we fail to do the same when we’re struggling. Strange? This lack of compassion for ourselves has deep-seated roots. And they’re not always entirely logical. For that reason, it’s so difficult to overcome it. However, it can be done: read on to discover six proven ways to develop self-compassion. What exactly is self-compassion? Self-compassion is a concept that counteracts the adverse beliefs we have about ourselves. In most cases, whether we’ll be able to comfort ourselves through the tough times gets decided in our childhood. We learn from our parents. Be it through direct or indirect messages we receive, we absorb those ideas. They become blueprints of our future world. Whether your parents were harsh and criticizing, or they were self-destructive and self-criticizing, you probably introjected such an attitude toward yourself into your core. Be kind to yourself and practise self-compassion Self-criticism is rife. And it’s a nasty enemy to have. Research has demonstrated over and over again that it’s closely associated with a range of emotional disturbances. Depression, anxiety and eating disorders are merely a few of the consequences of unrealistic negative images people hold about themselves. Even if you don’t develop a mental health disorder, living your life fraught with self-condemnation isn’t the right way. It will make you utterly unhappy, unproductive, and vulnerable. “Although we may show compassion to others during their times of need, we fail to do the same when we’re struggling. Strange? This lack of compassion for ourselves has deep-seated roots.” The most vicious aspect of self-criticism is that it mostly occurs out of our conscious awareness. We can access the negative beliefs we have about ourselves, but we rarely do it. Even more seldomly do we question these core ideas. This elusive nature of self-criticism is one more reason why you should wholeheartedly practice self-compassion. RELATED: How to stop ruminating with these 3 techniques Studies have shown that the ruminating self-loathing doesn’t get resolved with classic self-help cognitive intervention. What is more, it gets even worse. Moreover, those who are depressed as a result of self-criticism also have trouble imagining positive scenes and self-supporting images. In other words, when you’re failing at being self-compassionate, you can’t even imagine a bright future for yourself. So, the cycle continues. Unless you put a stop to it. Three components of self-compassion Psychologist Kristin Neff was the first to measure self-compassion. She explained that having compassion for oneself means offering self warmth and unconditional acceptance. That doesn’t mean being selfish and egocentric. It does not condone engaging in self-pity or self-indulgence. And, we might add, it doesn’t exclude constructive criticism. When you're self-compassionate, you recognize the difference between making bad choices and being a thoroughly appalling person. Simply put, when you’re compassionate to yourself, you won’t keep telling yourself all those nasty things you usually do if you’re not. And you won’t stagnate or suffer as a result. Neff has explained the three components of self-compassion: Self-kindness The ability to be supportive, kind, and forgiving toward yourself. Common humanity Realizing that part of the nature of human existence is to experience pain, loss, failure, and make mistakes. You’re not alone in your struggles; there’s always someone somewhere who has been through the same (or worse). Mindfulness Practising awareness of your experiences without judging them. Self-compassion is about the acceptance of upsetting thoughts without letting them overtake your entire life. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Kristin Neff's self-compassion theory © YouTube/Greater Good Science Center Six ways to practise self-compassion The good news is that self-compassion can be learned. It takes practice, but most good things require some effort. Here are six ways to practice self-compassion in your day-to-day life. 1. Practice self-forgiveness The very first step of self-compassion is to forgive yourself. And keep doing so every day. There's no point in punishing yourself for your past mistakes. What makes sense is learning from them and growing as a person. You will never be flawless and faultless – because no one is. Yet, your most profound worth doesn’t come from being perfect, successful, recognized, famous, or whatever your poison may be. With self-compassion, you’ll learn to allow yourself to be imperfect – and love yourself as such. 2. Treat yourself as you would a loved-one or child The next time you’re about to tell yourself how stupid or incompetent you are, ask yourself: “Would I speak this way to my child (or anyone whom you love dearly)?” You probably wouldn’t. Because you do know how destructive it is. You just need to learn not to be such a molesting “parent” to yourself. “The very first step of self-compassion is to forgive yourself. There's no point in punishing yourself for your past mistakes. What makes sense is learning from them and growing as a person.” In most cases, we don’t even repeat the messages we heard from our parents – they weren’t this harsh. What we do incorporate into our self-expectations are our childish interpretations of our parents’ words and values. That’s one more reason for you to revise your beliefs about how you should be. 3. Practice mindfulness and mindful meditation As it is one of the components of self-compassion, incorporate mindfulness into your life. Be in the present moment, be lovingly kind, and observe the world (both external and internal) without judgment. If you need help mastering the skill, sign up for mindful meditation classes, listen to some mindfulness podcasts, and check out these mindfulness tips. With time, you’ll notice how self-criticizing thoughts come, but they don’t stick and loop in your head anymore. 4. Watch out for automatic thoughts and language It’s precisely these thoughts that tend to make us incapable of self-compassion. To regain control, keep an eye on them and bring them to your consciousness. You can keep an automatic thoughts journal in which you’ll note down the original thought and how it made you feel. Then, analyze it to see if it can hold out against logical questioning. Spoiler alert – it can’t. Self-love and compassion is possible with practice shutterstock/KieferPix So, replace such thoughts – and your language – with positive, compassionate versions. Once you retrain your mind to go for the affirmation, you’ll notice how much more encouraging and warm you are to yourself – and how much better you feel as a result. 5. Remember: you’re not alone in your imperfection When we suffer, we tend to feel as if we were the only ones who were going through such an ordeal. However, chances are someone somewhere already experienced it (and survived). Learn to recognize that those feelings of disappointment, incompetence, or self-repugnance are shared across the human race. By doing so, it will become easier to overcome obsessing about and being enslaved by them. Instead, learn from your failures and grow as a person. 6. Work with a psychotherapist or a life coach Finally, we appreciate how difficult it may be to develop self-compassion. Especially for those with a lifelong history of knocking themselves down. It just doesn’t come naturally. So, seek professional support. Reach out to an expert who will work with you until you become wholly and unconditionally self-compassionate. Round-up: self-compassion Developing self-compassion takes time and practice. Yet, this isn’t a reason to give up. After all, your relentless self-criticism also wasn’t built in a day. However, let a simple thought guide you through the process – you’re not a child anymore. You have the power to reassess and change your convictions now. Be a kind and supportive parent to yourself. Teach your inner child (and your self-criticizing adult) to be compassionate to the person you’re bound to spend your entire life with – yourself. Main image: shutterstock/HBRH Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

From mindful eating to mindful listening: incorporate these 13 practical mindfulness behavior ideas from Calvin Holbrook into your daily routine to live a more present and focused life. Rushing. Multitasking. Not listening to other people properly. Do you recognize any of these habits from your everyday life? If so, you could definitely try to incorporate some more mindful behavior into your daily routine. By practising mindfulness you can be more present, more aware, and more receptive to how you're feeling and the reality that surrounds you. However, changing your behaviour or habits isn't always straightforward. Indeed, behavioral changes can be difficult. When you’ve spent years, sometimes decades, practising a certain behavior, it’s hard to wake up one day and decide to do something differently. • JOIN US! Sign up to learn more about meditation and mindfulness • But if you can incorporate some of these practical mindful behaviors and tools into your daily routine, you could really feel the benefit, boosting happiness levels and helping to keep anxiety and depression at bay. If these are big changes for you, focus on one or two at a time until you feel comfortable with the transition. Mindful behaviors: 13 habits and tools to adapt Use these mindfulness behavioural tools at various points throughout the day. They are listed below roughly into how they might appear in your day-to-day routine. Incorporating these simple mindfulness tips into your day shouldn't require a great deal of extra time of effort: simply a different way of seeing things. 1. Mindful start to the day Take your time to simply be grateful for the day ahead. Showing gratitude is scientifically proven to benefit your mood. After opening your eyes, say hello to your body waking up and notice the different sensations you're feeling: be grateful that you can see, hear, smell and that your bodily parts work. Smile at the world before the rush of the day starts. Just spend a few minutes being and appreciating the gift of life. 2. Mindful breath Before you head out to start your day, open the window. Take a mindful, deep breath and check in with yourself. How are you today? What’s the weather inside of you like? Don't judge how you're feeling or try to reason with it: just sense and accept your mood at this moment in time. Don't try to change anything. 3. Mindful shower Mindful showering is a great morning mindfulness tool to set you up for the day. Really be there in the shower: feel the water on your skin, smell the shower gel aroma and scan your body for how it’s feeling. If your mind is already wandering, bring it back to the present moment by singing a song and smiling to yourself. 4. Mindful mirror When it's time to get ready, instead of looking in the mirror and pointing out your flaws, take a moment to look at yourself the way a parent looks at their kid: with love and kindness. Give yourself a warm loving, accepting and supportive smile before you head out the door to start your day. 5. Mindful walk Try some mindful walking or forest bathing if you have the chance. Stop and smell the flowers, but first, you need to be there to even see them. Hear the birds, feel the many muscles in your body keeping you in balance with every step – marvel at life around you. Connecting with nature is important for our mental health, so if you get a chance to do this with a mindful walk, all the better. 6. Mindful speaking We often feel rushed to reply when in conversations. However, really take the time to consider what you want to say before speaking. Take your time. Consult your body. Are there tensions, do you feel rushed or threatened, or safe and heard? Respond from your heart. Mindful speaking is a behavior particularly useful when it comes to mindfulness at work. 7. Mindful listening Listen. Just listen. Without thinking about your reply. Without planning when to jump in and retort. Make a choice to stay open and attentive and let the words you are hearing from someone else really touch you. Mindful listening can really help improve your communication skills. 8. Mindful moment This mindful behavioral habit helps you to get out of your mind and into your body fast. It's great if something is playing on your brain or you're struggling to focus during the day. Simply stop what you're doing and rub your hands together repeatedly. That's it. Focus on the warmth that's generated. Do it a few times, take a few deep breaths, then head back to your task. 9. Mindful eating At least for the first few bites – and preferably the whole meal – really take your time when eating your meals or snacks. See the colours and texture of your food. Taste it, smell it, and feel the consistency and temperature. Every bite is unique! Do not rush your food. Slow eating is also better for your digestion. 10. Mindful pause So often we try to fill our days with as much as possible, but we need to take time out during the day too. Take in the signals from your body. Pause to listen to your thoughts, emotions and body sensations. Accept them as they are here and now and then focus on your breath before you go back to whatever you were doing. 11. Mindful self-talk Be mindful of how you treat yourself. Be honest with yourself but do not be harsh. Acceptance precedes change. Honestly acknowledge what is, and start with a gentle step. Do not beat yourself up but gently motivate yourself, especially after a drawback. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a dear friend. 12. Mindful encounter Rest in deep gratitude for the power of friendships. On the way to meeting a friend, bring to mind the good times you had and what you appreciate about that person. During your time together, rest in openness and gratitude for your friendship and celebrate what a wonderful thing it is. 13. Mindful breathing Here’s a mindful behavior to relax you, great if you can’t sleep. Breathe in through your nose for four seconds, deep into your abdomen. Hold for four more seconds, then breathe out for four more through your mouth. Pause for four more, then repeat! This mindful breathing isn't just for bedtime, though. Use throughout the day, whenever you're feeling anxious or in need of some calm. ● Mindful behavior: the takeaway Incorporating mindful behavior and habits into your day-to-day life can only bring great benefits to you and those around you. By using these practical tools you will start to be more present and aware, as well as open and receptive to how you're actually feeling and the world around you. Main image: shutterstock/fizkes Which of these mindful behavioral tools helped you most? Do you have any others to add to the list? Join our conversations around mindfulness and meditation in our forum. If you’re interested in learning more deeply about mindfulness, sign up for our free MBSR course. Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our online magazine, and is a lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

In the midst of our panic around COVID-19, we must look to each other to help us get through it. By Jill Suttie on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. I just learned that my son’s college, the University of Washington, would be cancelling all in-person classes and finals to help contain the spread of the coronavirus. One confirmed on-campus case prompted the university’s response. Though the university will incur high costs — they have to deep-clean the whole campus, for example — I, for one, am truly grateful for their swift action and putting students first. It’s one of the many ways that I feel cared for in the midst of this crisis, and one of many caring acts that I expect to see in the weeks ahead. Why expect more cooperation and compassion in the face of an epidemic? Because, contrary to popular belief, crises often tend to bring out the best in people. A report that looked at how people responded during the September 11th Twin Tower attacks showed that people bent over backwards to help others escape, sometimes at great personal risk to themselves. Other reports on the aftermath of natural disasters show that strangers will stick out their necks for each other to help. Community care can help us overcome COVID-19 shutterstock/Angelina Bambina While it’s true that sometimes disasters can lead to a minority taking advantage of the situation — for example, stealing people’s possessions when they have to leave their house — this is not a common response, much as it grabs headlines. Instead, when we face a common enemy, like an epidemic, we are more likely to pull together for the benefit of everyone. Notice how many young and healthy people are taking seriously the need to wash their hands frequently, cover their mouths when they cough, stay home when sick, or wear masks when in public. Sure, no one wants to get sick — but, at the same time, no one wants to be responsible for making others sick. “Why expect more cooperation and compassion in the face of an epidemic? Because, contrary to popular belief, crises often tend to bring out the best in people.” In fact, research shows that protecting others is a huge motivator for doing the right thing. For example, one study looked at what prompts handwashing behavior in hospital doctors and nurses. Researchers found that signs saying, “Hand hygiene prevents patients from catching diseases,” were more effective at prompting handwashing than signs simply saying, “Hand hygiene prevents you from catching diseases.” In other words, appealing to the health care workers’ altruistic care for their patients was more effective than appealing to their self-interest. In fact, it may simply be human nature to be kind and helpful when others need us. In one recent study, children only four to five years old who were told that resisting a treat would benefit another child were better able to delay gratification than children told their actions would only affect themselves. Similarly, babies as young as 19 months old were willing to give food away to someone who appeared to need it, even when hungry themselves. Of course, not everyone acts altruistically in these situations. So, what makes it more likely they will, and how can we use that to our advantage? Here are four ways we can encourage more altruism for fighting the virus. 1. Look to the heroes There will always be heroic efforts in a disaster — people who sacrifice themselves for the good of others. Think of the health care workers who are treating people infected with this virus at great personal risk. Or those infected with the virus who voluntarily isolate themselves for weeks to protect the public. When we hear stories of these people, we feel what is called moral elevation — a warm feeling inside that inspires us, fueling optimism and a desire to act altruistically ourselves. While the temptation might be to focus on fear and everything going wrong, we can redirect our attention to those who are doing the right thing, which will lead us to be better citizens ourselves. Remember our common humanity and compassion 2. Stay calm and focused It’s easy to be lost in fear when disaster strikes. However, it doesn’t help anyone to stir up panic about the situation, because we don’t think as clearly when we are in emergency mode. You can see how this has played out already, as people have been stockpiling masks and creating a shortage that could affect the people who truly need them — those who are sick and need masks to avoid spreading the disease to the rest of us. How can we stay calmer and make wiser choices? One way is to use whatever tools you have at your disposal for keeping a cool head — like practising mindfulness, which has been shown to both lessen emotional reactivity and help us make better decisions. We might take a walk in the park or nearby woods and let nature soothe us. Or we could talk to a friend — a calm friend, that is — who can help us reduce our anxiety. RELATED: The benefits of forest bathing Of course, our normal ways of connecting socially — like singing together at a concert or going to large parties — may have to change. But whatever we can do to maintain an air of calm, and to spread it to those around us, the better. After all, our emotions tend to be contagious in our social circles, and we should do our best to keep fear and panic contained. 3. Show gratitude One of the kindest things we can do is to say “thank you” to those who are doing what they can to fight the outbreak. As with my son’s university, it doesn’t hurt to send a message of thanks to people and organizations that are doing the right thing — whether it’s a tour group that offers refunds for cancelled trips, the neighbor who delivers a spare mask to you, or viral experts who give you straight-up information on how to stay safe. “How can we stay calmer and make wiser choices? One way is to use whatever tools you have at your disposal for keeping a cool head – like practising mindfulness.” When we show gratitude toward others, we let them know that their actions matter, which encourages more of the same kind of behavior — not only toward the grateful person but to others. Creating a cycle of altruism is helpful when we are faced with a challenge that affects us all, helping to foster trust in each other and care for each other’s plight. RELATED: The power of kindness 4. Remember our common humanity and show compassion When we are fearful, our first instinct might be to cast blame on others or to indulge in prejudice toward groups we see as responsible. News reports already show that some people of Asian descent in the United States are finding themselves shunned or the victims of racist profiling, simply because the virus appears to have originated in China. Though we might rationally know that no one person or country can be blamed for a viral outbreak, our minds still seek simple explanations. Research suggests that when we recognize our common humanity and show compassion, we are more likely to pull together and to solve issues that may be complex in nature. You can start by giving yourself some compassion, which can help you become more willing to admit mistakes and take steps to correct them. This is important, as human error can be costly when there is a viral outbreak, and we need to work together to learn from our mistakes. Of course, all of these guidelines don’t supplant the importance of practising good hygiene. We need to continue to frequently wash our hands and avoid touching our faces, so that we can lessen the chance of infecting ourselves and others. But we also should remember our social hygiene — looking for the heroes, staying calm ourselves, being grateful, and remembering our common humanity. In this way, we can help to make the world safer for all of us. ● This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is grateful to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu