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  1. My child, let your life come into the world of darknesslike a spark of light, without flicker and pure,and thank them in silence. You know, my child, they are cruel in their greed and envy, their words are disguised knives thirsting for blood. But do not be afraid, my child, go and stand in their hearts, and let your gentle eyes fall on them like the forgiving serenity of the night.My child, let them see your face and so they know itmeaning of all things, let them love and love one another.Go, at sunrise, open and lift up your heart like a blooming flower, and at sunset, bend your head and silently complete the worship of the day.Remember, my child, gods and demons, ghosts and elves are fragments of one, built by the hand of the abyss.So, move on, go to the shore of the vast darkness,there, is the Great Meeting of Children,there, the sea gives a smile to the beach,there, sing the waves facing death. AMAZON, Alexis karpouzos official site IMDB, Alexis karpouzos official site GOODREADS, Alexis karpouzos official site alexis karpouzos, visual art1.mp4
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  2. 2nd year of covid-19 has hit everyone very badly, also affects many areas of life including mental health. Nowadays people are facing fear, stress, anger, anxiety, depression. People are hopeless, helpless, and depressed, poor people have been struggling with the anxiety of hunger. Some people are struggling with their jobs, while many have been struggling with another subject. Few people come out of broken relationships and may not know how to move on, Maybe some people have parental pressure. Read More ? are you okay ? depressio:n corona affecting lives/
  3. Having lots of sex doesn't always mean it's fulfilling or lead to happiness. Indeed, as Sienna St-Cyr argues, factors such as the quality of sex and couple compatibility are far more important when it comes to achieving a happy sex life. If you've ever been told that lots of sex will lead to happiness, you might have heard correctly! There are many factors that go into that statement, however. Frequency of sex is just one factor to be considered. Couple compatibility, quality, and type of sex are also important. So, the link between sex and being happy seems to be there, but it also appears to be more complex. After reading an article on the frequency of sex and whether couples are having enough of it on Greater Good, I began thinking a great deal about the subject and whether or not it’s sex itself or something that goes along with the sex that leads to happier people. This led me to a few concepts to examine in detail when discussing the link between fulfillment, sex, and being happy. 1. Frequency of sex While the article on Greater Good points out that for many folks having a lot of sex makes them happier, it also states that this isn't the case for everyone. In fact, frequency without other important factors incorporated may actually make people unhappy. I was once with a partner that wanted sex daily. I, however, didn't. For one, it wasn't satisfying for me. This partner rarely put the time in to make it enjoyable, and he usually focused on his release over mine. This caused a depression in me. RELATED: Why I'll never ignore my sexual needs in a relationship again Brian Joseph Gillespie of the Department of Sociology at Sonoma State University carried out a study in 2016 where he found that couples taking part in frequent sex were only more satisfied if the sex was also of high quality. So, frequency is only a part of the equation when it comes to having a happy sex life. Frequent sex doesn't equal great sex (or make you happy) 2. Couple compatibility This brings me to sexual happiness and compatibility. That ex and I simply weren't compatible. He wanted quick sex and often and I wanted less sex with more build up. When I met my husband, he loved foreplay. He enjoyed putting the energy into turning me on. This shows that we were far more compatible because this energy was what I needed. I went from rarely reaching orgasm to sometimes having more than one in a sexual escapade. According to the Indian Journal of Endocrinology and Metabolism, reaching orgasm releases oxytocin, which is also known as one of the happiness hormones. The article on 'The Orgasmic History of Oxytocin' covers several areas of sexuality and the release of oxytocin. So, all the extra energy my husband put into me and all the additional orgasms led to more of this happiness hormone being released into my body. “The sexual connection I have with my partner leads to far more happiness if it's a positive one. Desiring the same things as a couple leads to positivity.” This sexual connection I have with my partner leads to far more happiness if it's a positive one. Desiring the same things as a couple leads to positivity. Putting the kids to bed together and reading them a story five nights a week, while only have sex twice a week, may, in fact, make for more satisfying sex. RELATED: What is Omnisexuality? Understanding and Debunking Myths However, other couples may prefer sex seven days a week. Finding that partner we’re most compatible with is essential for achieving a happy sex life, even if the actual frequency of sex is less than before. Healthy connections and finding a compatible partner means we must be mindful of our needs and desires. 3. Quality of sex As mentioned above, having sex twice a week may be perfect for some partners. The biggest thing I've found out for myself, though, is that's it's the quality of sex rather than the frequency that matters. Is it sex I like? I can have sex for an hour, but ten-minute, super intense, sex is far more powerful for me. Because I enjoy the latter more, it means a deeper level and quality of sex. Longer, softer sex is still good, but not as strong for me. RELATED: What work can teach us about improving our relationships As Brian Joseph Gillespie also mentions in his April 2016 study, couples that had far less sex but felt they had quality sex were more satisfied with their sex lives. Sp, satisfaction contributes to a happy sex life too, as well as your overall happiness levels. It's a match: couple compatibility is one factor of a happy sex life This isn’t so clear, though, when it comes to other studies. The Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization also carried out research. It found that when they asked participants to have more sex, their fulfillment actually decreased! What I found interesting about this study is that it didn’t include crossovers as Brian’s did. So the folks taking part may or may not have desired that frequency, and that can lead to poor and ‘rushed’ quality. 4. Type of sex I'm convinced that the more we're self-aware and mindful of our needs around sex and happiness, the happier we will be. It can be related to oxytocin release or happiness with our partner(s). Or, it might be that when we honour our needs, we will be more satisfied because we’ll be seeking out the relationships and sexual encounters that make us feel good inside. RELATED: Altruism is sexy and leads to more sex One of the things that drives me batty as a sexuality educator is that so many people feel they need to have intercourse for it to be ‘sex’. I believe that this is not true. That's because there's oral sex, anal sex, masturbatory sex, and even tantric sex. Some may get just as much satisfaction from cuddling as others do a three-hour long missionary sex session. Cuddling releases oxytocin too. So, for asexual folks, this is likely to be far more satisfying than full intercourse. Conclusion: lots of sex doesn't equal happy sex What all of this research and my personal experience has taught me is that the topic of sexual activity and happiness is complex. What I find this all boils down to is that we have to be mindful of our desires and needs. Then we need to honour those desires and needs to be happy. There's no doubt in my mind that when I've walked away from a very satisfying sexual encounter, I'm giggly and flying high. This elevated mood can even last for days! Interestingly, some of the encounters that brought on this feeling have been quite short. And sometimes they vary in frequency as well. But they are still – by far – the most satisfying and happy-making for me. Other times I've had a lot of sex and often, but I didn't get that same high from it: I didn't giggle or walk away with a feeling of euphoria. Ride of your life: quality rules when it comes to happy sex But the most important factor from the list for me is the quality of sex I'm having. All of this connects because all of this involves being tuned into who we are. It’s the self-awareness and mindfulness that leads to us finding compatible partners with similar sexual desires, with the ability to turn mediocre into outstandingly – quality-filled – sexual encounters. If you’re interested in upping your happiness through increased sexual encounters – and I guess you are as you are reading this article (!), I’d suggest keeping these things to the front of your mind: Find a partner compatible with your life goals Talk about sex and sexuality, compare your desires Remember that quantity is not the same as quality Honour both people’s needs with compassion In essence, this is simple. Pay attention and honour one another. If you find your partner isn't ready to meet your needs or if you find you’re not willing to meet theirs and you are both profoundly unable to compromise, maybe letting go of that connection and being open to someone more compatible with your needs is the healthier way to go. “There's no doubt in my mind that when I've walked away from a very satisfying sexual encounter, I'm giggly and flying high. The elevated mood can last me days.” I was often taught that couples that love each other stay together until death. But I have never really bought into this belief. If I can’t make my partner happy, then I will love him enough to let him go so he can find happiness elsewhere. I'm sure the ex that hated foreplay and loved frequent sex has found his special someone that desires those same things. If we’d stayed together, we wouldn't have been happy. And that wouldn't have been due to lack of sex: we were having plenty of that, after all! So, in conclusion, honour your needs, talk about your desires, and listen to your partner when they tell you about their needs and desires. Then, act. For me, this has been the fastest way to a happy and fulfilled sex life. ● Main image: colourbox.com Written by Sienna Saint-Cyr Sienna Saint-Cyr is an author, advocate, and the founder of SinCyr Publishing. She speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on the importance of having a healthy body image, understanding enthusiastic consent, using sexuality to promote healing, navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships, having Complex PTSD, and more. Sienna loves sharing her journey of healing and finding happiness with her readers. Along with writing erotica and romance, Sienna speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on such sex-positive topics as a healthy body image, using sexuality to promote healing, and navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships. She writes for several websites. Find out more.
  4. What is the definition of happiness? Does it involve fancy holidays, flash cars or lavish shopping trips? Well, only if you want a cheap thrill. As Calvin Holbrook discovers, the true meaning of happiness lies in daily pleasure, engagement and life satisfaction. What is happiness? It’s the eternal question that’s been on the lips of philosophers, theologians and regular people like you and I for centuries. Much more recently, this question has received a great deal more attention from the scientific community. But does all the recent research into well-being bring us any closer to a well-rounded definition of happiness? Well, before getting into what science has discovered about what happiness truly is, perhaps it’s first easier to rule out what happiness definitely isn’t. 1. Happiness is not about being wealthy Data from the first half of the 20th century – a period of world wars and depression – indicated that happiness levels increased as household incomes rose. Researchers used to believe that more money made people happier. However, this is not the case nowadays. And while living in poverty surely makes happiness harder to achieve, recent research suggests that after a certain point, money does not buy us any more happiness. RELATED: Happiness Is A Choice: 8 Ways To Choose It Today In a well-cited 2010 study by Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton from Princeton University, a magic number was put on the relation between happiness and income: $75,000 (€65,000). The researchers found that money increases happiness up until this amount annually, but exceeding that amount, there is no rise in happiness. What is happiness? Experiences with loved-ones is one of its main elements One key exception to money not leading to happiness is when you choose to spend your cash on experiences, specifically with friends and family. In their book Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending, authors Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton showed that spending our hard-earned cash on experiences or investing it in others does makes us happy. “By giving to another person, you’re… creating a connection and a conversation with that person, and those things are really good for happiness," says Norton, an associate professor of marketing at Harvard Business School. 2. Happiness is not feeling joyful 24 hours a day When trying to answer the question 'What is happiness?', science also suggests that happiness does not come from feeling happy all of the time. Indeed, almost all happy people will experience periods of sadness in their lives. In fact, what researchers have found is that humans have a baseline level or 'set-point' of happiness. This psychological term describes our general level of happiness, and all humans have different set-points: those with higher ones will be happier most of the time compared with those that have a less joyful outlook (and lower set-point). “What is happiness? Science suggests that happiness does not come from feeling happy all the time. Almost all happy people will experience periods of sadness in their lives.”  It follows then that unhappy life events shift happiness levels below their set-point while positive or exciting events boost your happiness levels above your set-point. However, sooner or later, when the life event finishes, happiness levels returns to their natural base level (that's why we often feel the 'holiday blues' when coming down from the high of a recent trip). RELATED: 6 ways travel boosts your mental health and happiness 3. Happiness is not a destination, it's a journey Many people still view happiness as a destination to arrive at after they’ve achieved certain tick-lists: the well-paid job, the partner, the mortgage, the kids, the latest hi-tech gadget or pair of sneakers. Happiness is flow: find what you love to do and do more of it! But often we forget that we're living in the present, and this is key: to experience happiness as journey and not a destination. Likewise, it takes effort to gain and maintain happiness. Indeed, many techniques for becoming happier – such as writing a gratitude journal or exercising – only work if they are regular habits and not one-off events. On the contrary, one-off life events such as getting married or getting a promotion will bring some short-term happiness but this will quickly wear off (remember that set-point?). So, what exactly is a good definition of happiness? Now we know what it isn’t, how can we define happiness? In her well-respected book The How of Happiness, positive psychology researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky defines happiness as: “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.” So, day-to-day pleasure and meaning in life (through job satisfaction, for example) are considered two key factors in defining what happiness is. This resonates with the ancient Greeks who believed happiness consisted of two parts: Hedonia or pleasure, and Eudaimonia or meaning. More recently, positive psychologists – such as Martin Seligman in his 2002 book Authentic Happiness – have added the component of ‘engagement’ or ‘flow’ to the happiness definition. Combining these trio of happiness components – pleasure, meaning and engagement – psychologists have come up with a scientific term for defining happiness: subjective-well being (SWB). What is the definition of happiness? © YouTube/Greater Good Science Center So, your SWB, or happiness, is a combination of how good you feel on a daily basis, how satisfied you are with your life (does your life have meaning?), and how engaged you are with both activities that you love and your network of friends and family. Luckily, aside from our genetics – which determine or set-point of happiness – we can keep working on the happiness variables by enhancing engagement, meaning and purpose in our lives. Indeed, with consistent practice, we can create life-long habits which will ultimately lead to a more satisfying, fulfilling and joyful life. Now that’s our definition of happiness! ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Positive Psychology | Mindfulness | Compassion Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, as well being an artist and lover of swimming, yoga, dancing, and all things vintage! Find out more.
  5. The three so-called ‘happiness hormones’ are serotonin, dopamin and oxytocin. But how do they influence your mood and how can you boost them naturally to increase your happiness levels? Rae Bathgate investigates. Everybody who’s gone through puberty – especially those in the midst of it – can tell you that hormones play a large part in how we feel. Most women, for one, are particularly aware of this, some even tracking the subtleties caused by the ebb and the flow of oestrogen and progesterone. However, not as much conversation exists about how so-called 'happiness hormones', and neurotransmitters affect everyone’s mood and well-being. And yes, we do mean everyone, including animals, men, children, your next door neighbour, and especially you. RELATED: Happiness Is A Choice: 8 Ways To Choose It Today Hormones and neurotransmitters are molecules that act as chemical messengers. The main difference between the two is that hormones are released by the endocrine system as chemical impulses, while neurotransmitters are released by the central nervous system as electrical impulses. The two systems work together, so the line between the two becomes blurred, some molecules even acting as both (oxytocin, for example). Happiness hormones: what exactly are they? Human hormones tally at about 50, while known neurotransmitters have been estimated to be at around 100. The main ones associated with feelings of happiness are: Serotonin Dopamine Oxytocin Other influential factors are adrenalin and cortisol, melatonin, GABA, endorphins and norepinephrine. Researchers also agree that many other factors influence happiness, such as economic stability and relationships, to name just two. It's important to remember then that while the effects of increasing happiness hormones and neurotransmitters are being researched, no neurochemical alone is a quick fix for happiness, as they act in lockstep with each other. So, let's take a closer look at the three main happiness hormones: 1. Serotonin: happiness and satisfaction Also known as 5-hydroxytryptamine (5-HT), serotonin is a complex neurotransmitter. Serotonin could be thought of, simply, as bringing about feelings of confidence and self-esteem. For example, serotonin has been shown to be at higher levels when you feel significant and like you're part of a group. Conversely, feelings of loneliness and depression are usually associated with low serotonin levels. You may recognize the name from Serotonin-Specific Reuptake Inhibitors (or SSRIs), a popular type of medication taken against depression, anxiety, panic disorder, OCD, PTSD and eating disorders. While a breakthrough in mental health medicine, depression has been associated with various potential causes – not only low levels of serotonin. • JOIN US! Sign-up to get support from our caring community • Still, even if the key to a sunny outlook isn't simply just more of the neurotransmitter, research seems to indicate that to feel happier, it's good to try and avoid the happiness hormone serotonin dipping too low. Luckily, there's a wide variety of ways to give yourself a boost, now and then. Higher serotonin activity allows people to put themselves in situations that will bolster self-esteem and increase one’s self-worth and sense of belonging; in turn, this ups your serotonin levels. “While the effects of increasing happiness hormones are being researched, no neurochemical is a quick fix for happiness.” To get this serotonin positive feedback loop going, challenge yourself as much as you can to accomplish activities that will reinforce your sense of self-worth, purpose and belonging. For example, try volunteering (which has also shown to strengthen social ties and to make you even happier), becoming involved in a cause you believe in or joining a sports team. RELATED: Why is volunteering important? How to increase serotonin levels naturally Studies have shown that athletes have higher levels of serotonin. Indeed, exercise – such as riding a bike or mindful running – has been shown to increase serotonin, along with getting some sun, or a well-deserved massage. Another way to up your serotonin is by reflecting on what you have in your life, for example, experiences, people, and things that make you feel grateful, loved and important. Your brain will produce serotonin regardless of whether a situation is imagined or is recalled as a memory. Focusing on the positive – while it may not solve your problems – may help you feel better (and also help you to stop ruminating). Some ways to do this include taking the time to do positive affirmations, reflect, or writing a gratitude journal about all the things you appreciate – even looking back through old pictures of a great night out will make you smile and get that serotonin going. Bike yourself better: cycling boosts serotonin, a happiness hormone 2. Dopamine: love and passion Like serotonin, dopamine is a neurotransmitter. Often painted as the neurochemical most strongly associated with happiness, it might be more precise to say that dopamine is responsible for reward-driven behaviour and pleasure-seeking activities. You get a rush of it when you feel proud of yourself, when you eat comfort food, when it's pay day, and, of course, when you win. Some studies indicate that those with more extroverted and outgoing personality types may have higher levels of dopamine than their introverted counterparts, and it could be one of the main driving forces behind pursuing goals, as procrastination and self-doubt have been linked to low levels of dopamine. As with serotonin, this neurotransmitter's success in regulating our emotions hangs in a delicate balance: if too few dopamine molecules are released, Parkinson’s disease may develop (incidentally, dopamine levels also play a large part in motor reactions), defined by a slow loss of motor skills and mood and sleep disorders. On the other hand, too high of a dopamine level can lead to symptoms like mania, hallucinations, and it also appears to increase impulsive behaviour. How to increase dopamine levels While many highly addictive substances act on the dopamine system, by feeling success (however you may define it), you can increase your dopamine activity. For example, set a goal and achieve it. For overachievers, this may sound stressful, but there are healthy ways to organize goal setting. For example, break down one big goal into several smaller ones, and pause to acknowledge each success. Then, you can try to set a new (realistic) goal while you're still working on your current objective. In short, more dopamine rewards beget more motivation to seek more dopamine, so, without going overboard, nurture that feedback loop. Also, listen to music: music that makes you feel good, music that moves you, music that gives you chills! One study analysed levels of dopamine when participants listened to music that gave them these musical sense and concluded that, when it did, dopamine transmission was higher: music is inextricably linked with our deepest reward systems. Feeling sound: listening to music boosts dopamine Yet another study showed that exercise may also increase dopamine, as do tangible rewards, like food or money. So, find that one physical activity that motivates you to exercise regularly, try saving money (having money left at the end of the month is the reward!), and learning how to cook food that's delicious and healthy. 3. Oxytocin: intimacy and bonding Oxytocin is a peptide hormone composed of nine amino acids, released from the pituitary gland, most notably controlling uterine spasms and breastfeeding stimulus. It's active during childbirth and physical contact, and it's been found to cause behavioural and physiological effects “such as maternal, sexual and social behaviours.” • JOIN US! Sign up today and make new friends at happiness.com • In other words, it facilitates social interaction and is (mostly) associated with positive social behaviour. Due to the significant correlation between social bonding and life satisfaction, then indeed, oxytocin levels could lead to a happier life. Because oxytocin levels go up with breastfeeding between mother and child, hugging, intercourse, orgasm and skin-to-skin contact, it's often referred to as the 'hug hormone' or the 'bonding hormone.' Indeed, some studies have shown that an increase in oxytocin also increases trust. “Exercise, like riding a bike or running has been shown to increase serotonin, along with getting some sun, or a well-deserved massage.” However, this happiness hormone has other, more complicated effects. According to Ed Yong on Slate, oxytocin "fosters trust and generosity in some situations, but envy and bias in others.” Indeed, one study found that oxytocin uptake increased feelings of envy and schadenfreude (the pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune), while another suggested that while it increased a sense of closeness in one’s clique, in some individuals, it increased mistrust in strangers. In other words, the trust and bonding that it offers may only extend to those that you trust and feel open to bonding with, to begin with (and there may be deep seated evolutionary origins in this reaction). The hug drug: skin contact boosts oxytocin, a hormone of happiness Be that as it may, while oxytocin may not be solely responsible for positive human bonding, it still plays a large part in how we interact with others. Oxytocin is released during moments of shared intimacy: be it familial, platonic, romantic or sexual. How to increase oxytocin levels There are a few ways you can naturally boost your levels of this hormone of happiness: Take part in group activities (and if they’re physical, even better!) Make sure to take the time to cuddle your loved ones Get a dog (or another pet) In fact, if you own a dog, chances are your oxytocin levels (and his, or hers, for that matter) are the last thing you need to worry about. Studies have shown that not only does petting and spending time with your dog raise oxytocin levels in both, but simply gazing at each other sends oxytocin levels soaring. The other neurochemicals of happiness • Endorphins The name translates as "self-produced morphine" for a reason: it's widely known for its analgesic (pain-relieving) properties. This neurotransmitter is present in large quantities during high-intensity cardio, strength training, sexual intercourse, orgasm, and most strenuous physical exertion. Exercise will increase your endorphins, as does acupuncture and laughter (even the anticipation of laughter raises endorphin levels). • GABA This is an inhibitory molecule that slows down the firing of neurons, making you calmer. You can increase GABA by doing meditative activities, like gardening, knitting, mandala colouring, different types of yoga (such as gratitude yoga), and, of course, meditation. The benefits of meditation are many and proven. • Adrenalin (Epinephrine) and cortisol A hormone/neurotransmitter and a glucocorticoid respectively, these two are released from the adrenal glands: they regulate stress (think of an adrenalin rush). Through more studies are needed, it appears that subjects with lower levels of salivary cortisol and urinary adrenaline levels report higher levels of happiness; while the results could be correlative and not causative, it's never a bad idea to try to reduce your stress levels. • Melatonin Melatonin is produced by the pineal gland as is most commonly associated with regulating sleep. However, it's also been shown to affect our overall well-being and feelings of happiness (sleep patterns are often disrupted as a symptom of a larger mood disorder). To keep your melatonin balanced, get a good night's rest, and make sure to turn off your electronic devices well before you head to bed. Norepinephrine Similar to dopamine, low norepinephrine (AKA noradrenaline) levels have been linked to depression, while further research has indicated that selective norepinephrine re-uptake inhibitor antidepressants "induce a positive emotional, perceptual bias in healthy subjects.” There are many ways to increase your norepinephrine levels, for example, taking a cold shower or a quick nap. Win with a grin: laughter boosts happiness hormones All in all, happiness hormones and neurotransmitters aren't as simple as we sometimes wish they were. One neurochemical isn't responsible for a single function, and a happier life isn't as simple as raising each level as much as we can. Indeed, like most things in life, it relies on a delicate balance. The good news is that the more you take care of yourself, the better the balance will be, and the happier you will feel. After all, "our brain has evolved to make things that are necessary for our survival feel good," as one Guinness World Record holder speculated: spend time with friends get enough sleep avoid stress (perhaps through the benefits of MBSR) laugh often cuddle your loved ones get a dog work towards your goals practise gratitude exercise often. Luckily, many of these tips to boost our happiness hormones and neurotransmitters are relatively easy to put into place with just a little effort from ourselves! ● Main picture: colourbox.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Learning | Nature | Meditation Written by Rae Bathgate Rae Bathgate is an American journalist based in Barcelona, where she enjoys sunlight, yoga, and bookbinding.
  6. From laughing at yourself to reminding yourself of looming death, some secrets of happiness are shared in this bitesize 60-second video from The School of Life. So, take a minute (literally) to watch it... it could change your life for good! The secrets of happiness are not as complicated as you might think. We love this arty, 60-second video by The School of Life, that explains it all in simple steps. Definitely worth a watch! .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } The secrets of happiness at a glance: Stop being so hopeful. Look at the glass as half-empty and be grateful when something good happens. A lot of people go around thinking that life is a bowl of cherries. It isn’t. Stop ranting about how awful other people are. Most people aren’t evil. Accept that other people have bad days too and that it has nothing to do with you. Think of death a lot. Keep a skull on your table. A subtle reminder to use your time wisely and appreciate the time you’ve already been given. Thanks, death! Laugh at yourself. You’re not the idiot you think you are. You’re lovable and laughable. Don’t be so hard on yourself! Make regular appointments to talk with someone you don’t normally check in with a lot: YOU! What do you really want? What are you really anxious about? When was the last time you took yourself on a date? Stop the impossible task of trying to make yourself happy. Concentrate on cheering other people up. Seeing happiness in other people helps you to cheer up, too! Look at things from a different and far away perspective. Like from space. Things will look the size they always should’ve been – tiny and insignificant. Throw your phone off a cliff for a bit. Talk to your partner, your mother, or anyone else close to you. Chances are you’ve been bent over that thing all day and haven’t even noticed that the sun is shining. Give up on the idea that you should be normal. The only normal people are people you don’t know yet. Everyone is weird and that’s totally okay. Love your weirdness. Which of these get-happy tips do you agree with you? Do you have any keys to happiness? Comment below! ● Main image: The School of Life/YouTube.com Written by Tine Steiss Tine is part of the happiness.com team. She's an artist, meditator, media engineer and MBSR teacher. If she's not traveling she's working on turning her rooftop terrace into a garden paradise. Find out more about her on: Instagram.
  7. As parents or future parents, we want nothing more than for our kids to be happy. But can we guide our children into a more joyful way of being? Mother and teacher Molly Scanlan believes we can by introducing them early on to happiness habits. Read her six secrets to raising happier and contented children that appreciate life. Whatever hopes and goals we have for our children, we all want them to be joyful and experience happiness. The encouraging news is that, just like good manners, you can teach the habits that lead to happy children. As parents, we hope to impart the beliefs and good habits that we want our kids to carry into adulthood. And, interestingly, a German study from 2013 found that parents do indeed transmit values and behaviours to their children. The researchers also concluded that the life satisfaction of kids continues to be influenced by that of their parents (and vice versa) throughout life. So, parents have a powerful role to play in the production of happy children. As both a parent and teacher, I know that the early years are a prime time for learning. But as well as academic, social and physical skills, you can also pass on the keys to developing a satisfying and happier life. Secrets to raising happy children In your own quest for happiness, you may have already come across habits that you've started to build into your life. Indeed, you may have realised that this can take a lot of time and effort (and that happiness is a journey and not a destination). So, if you're a parent, do your children a favour and install them with these happiness habits as they grow up. Even if you're not a parent, this advice is also relevant for those of us with younger family members in our lives, perhaps a niece or nephew. Tip 1: Exercise Regular physical exercise has a host of health benefits. As well as keeping our bodies functioning better for longer, it positively affects memory, concentration and academic performance. Exercise has also consistently been shown to combat the symptoms of depression and anxiety. We’ve all experienced a lack of motivation for getting off the couch and getting moving. Young, happy children naturally run, climb and dance – they certainly don’t seem to suffer from lack of energy or desire! But somewhere along the line, many of us become more sedentary. But studies indicate that if we use self-control we can turn exercise into a regular habit. So, how can we make sure our children grow up with exercise as part of their routine? A recent study found that ‘controlled motivation’ for physical activity when younger led to a negative effect on their participation in exercise at age 11. This means we cannot force our kids to exercise. Like us adults, children want to do things if they’re fun. Partaking in active pursuits as a family will teach them that this is a joyful and standard building block of life. So, your kids need to see you enjoying exercise, too. As I have a toddler, we spend a lot of time in the park. I encourage him to challenge himself when climbing and jumping, giving him absolute freedom unless it’s dangerous. Also, support your children to find a team sport they enjoy: scheduled practice and forming friendships should help them continue to love it and participate in the long-term. Tip 2: Get out in nature If you can, do plenty of those physical activities outside. We’ve all seen happy children running around in the fresh air and felt better ourselves after a long walk in a park or along a trail. Indeed, there's a growing body of evidence showing that simply connecting with nature has a positive impact on our mental health. Forest bathing as a practice began in Japan but has gained popularity as a therapeutic method across the globe. If you want your children to feel less stressed and more mindful, get them into the habit of spending time near trees and green spaces. A study of nearly 300 children in Mexico revealed a link between feeling more connected with nature, demonstrating sustainability-related behaviours and self-perceived happiness. In our family, we love getting out into the countryside by train or walking to the woods. My son can name different types of birds and trees and asks lots of questions. Like a lot of kids, he adores muddy puddles and collecting sticks and stones! Nature = happy and contented kids! If you and your family regularly spend time in natural surroundings, this gives your children an opportunity to feel more connected with the landscape. Carrying this feeling into adulthood, they can give their happiness a boost each time they venture outside. Ttip 3: Find their passion Finding and pursuing a passion in life is great for our well-being. Indeed, having a sense of purpose and knowing which activities that bring us joy lead to greater happiness. The best way you can support your child in this quest is by opening up their horizons. Give them opportunities to try a range of things – even things you may not enjoy yourself! Follow their lead and listen when they tell you what they do and don’t enjoy. They will then naturally narrow down to the pursuits that bring them the most happiness. Given a chance to practise regularly and see improvements, they are more likely to continue this hobby past adolescence. “Parents have a powerful role to play in the production of happy children. As a parent and teacher, I know that the early years are a prime time for learning.” However, no one likes a pushy parent and it seems children themselves agree! Do not force your kids into activities – simply support them in making choices. Katie Hurley, a child and adolescent psychotherapist, warns against pushing your child towards one specific skill or activity. She told Psychology Today: “When parents support instead of push, kids find their passions and interests and learn to follow their own paths toward success and happiness.” Tip 4: Journaling There are many different forms of journaling, and it has recently become a popular tool specifically for supporting good mental health. Practising gratitude, including on paper, can promote happiness, mindfulness and clarity. And science shows it can help in creating contented kids. A gratitude practice was linked to happiness in a study of 5-year-olds. Another study looking at teenagers found a positive association between gratitude, life satisfaction and optimism. So whatever age your child is, they can benefit. Start simply by introducing the concept of gratitude to children at a young age. Asking questions such as “what was your favorite thing you did today?” and modelling statements such as “we are so lucky to get to see this view” will encourage them to do the same. We do this at home and I can already see that our toddler has taken it on board. The other day he got an ice cream and as he sat down to lick it he said, “I’m a lucky pup!”. Journaling fosters happiness in kids shutterstock/Syda Productions Once kids have the habit of expressing gratitude verbally, as they get older they can graduate to writing it down. You can give them ideas, but it will work best if they discover a way of journaling that they find most helpful. As your kids enter adolescence, they may choose not to share this process and document with you but you can rest easy in the knowledge that processing their emotions on paper and feeling grateful for all they have is boosting their happiness. Buy your happy children a new notebook today to start a positive habit that could help them stay that way for years to come. Tip 5: A sound sleeping routine Sleep is a hot topic in the parenting world! For those of use who are up multiple times in the night, we are well aware of how disturbed sleep affects parents. But the gift of consistently good sleep might be the most powerful gift we can give our children. Getting a good night’s rest benefits us in lots of ways. Repeated insufficient sleep has been linked to diabetes, heart disease and even lower life expectancy. It can also correlate with depression and anxiety. Happy children are those that get enough good quality sleep. “When parents support instead of push, kids find their passions and interests and learn to follow their own paths toward success and happiness.” This is not to say that you need to sleep train your baby: that is a personal choice families make. Rather, as your child grows, help form the habit of a good bedtime routine and teach them what constitutes a suitable sleeping environment. There are lots of ways to promote good sleep. Provide your child with a comfy, safe bed and a room that isn’t too hot (about 20 degrees celsius). Keep a consistent bedtime routine. Wind down with quiet activities, put away electronics and give your child a bath. Reading a bedtime story has educational as well as sleep-related and emotional benefits. When your child is older, you can talk to them about the effects of caffeine and alcohol and encourage them to keep their phone outside of their room at night (though that last one might be impossible!). Tip 6: Don't praise too much This might be surprising, but you should avoid over-praising your child. This can turn happy children into frustrated adults. This doesn't mean you should never tell them they’ve done a great job – you just need to praise the right things in the right way. Liberally piling on the positive feedback can create what’s known as a ‘fixed mindset’ in your child. They will incorporate the idea that (for instance) “I’m good at maths” into their identity. Then when they encounter a challenge or make a mistake, they will be devastated, as this doesn’t tally with their sense of self. Learn more about instilling a ‘growth mindset’ in your child and they should become more resilient and determined. Teach them that mistakes are not to be avoided at all costs. In fact, they are a vital part of the learning process. This is something I do with my own son. I’ll admit I sometimes sound a bit silly praising a 6-month-old for their effort but I’m expecting this to pay off in the long run! I look for opportunities to comment on the way he solves a problem or how he shows perseverance rather than simply tell him he is great at something. The wrap: raising happy kids The gift you have been given yourself is being in the position to help your child start a lifetime of happiness. While no one is blissfully happy all of the time, you can provide your child with the habits that promote robust mental health and chances for joy. Many of the ways in which we, as adults, try and pursue happiness can start almost from birth. Model these behaviours in front of your children and explain them explicitly when they're older. The great news is, that well-being is contagious within families. A study has shown that positive aspects of well-being are transmitted between all members of a household. So, working on your child’s happiness habits as well as your own will benefit everyone in your family. ● Main image: shutterstock/Jacob Lund happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Family activities | Nature | Sports & physical activities Written by Molly Scanlan Molly Scanlan is a freelance writer, parent and teacher from London, UK. She writes about health, science, education and parenting. Connect with her on Twitter and find out more on her website.
  8. The world's problems may feel overwhelming, but we can nurture our caring spirit so we stay active in solving them. By Tim Desmond on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. Looking around today, it’s hard to escape the conclusion that our world is screwed. Of course, there’s a lot of beauty in the world, too; but the sheer magnitude of violence, greed, hatred, and straight-up stupidity can be overwhelming if we pay attention and care about what’s happening around us. What’s more terrifying, though? When good-hearted people get overwhelmed by all of it, lose touch with their humanity, and stop caring. The challenge of staying human in the middle of this comes down to how we respond to the suffering around us and in ourselves. If we despair and give up, that’s not helpful; on the other hand, it also doesn’t help if we allow self-righteousness to poison us with indignation. Whether we are hurting because of our own problems or from witnessing the pain of others, we have to learn how to take care of our compassionate natures, so we don’t get overwhelmed. Sad stories: the news is full of negativity In my book, How to Stay Human in a F*cked-Up World, I write about how a meditation practice can help you to cultivate an open heart in the face of so much suffering. These teachings can be applied to a formal sitting meditation practice, or just used to develop new ways to relate to yourself. Here are some of the things I’ve found helpful — supported by science — that you can do yourself when the world becomes too much. The part of life that’s beautiful When everything around you seems f***ed up, it’s easy to think nothing good exists — or even if it did, it wouldn’t matter. However, if you only pay attention to what’s painful in your life, you will inevitably end up exhausted and overwhelmed. Since we tend to keep bad stuff in our minds more than good stuff, we need to actively seek out what’s beautiful in life to overcome this natural negativity bias. And we should, because experiencing positive emotions — like happiness and awe — can give us the energy we’ll need to be more involved in caring for others. RELATED: 11 science-backed truths about finding happiness One practice I offer in my book is to list all of the conditions for happiness that are present in your life right now — maybe things you take for granted, like having a warm bed or having a close friend. Every moment contains infinite causes for happiness and infinite causes for suffering. The condition of our minds depends on what we’re paying attention to. So, we train ourselves not to forget what’s beautiful.
 The part of life that’s painful Acknowledging what’s beautiful in the world doesn’t mean that we’re ignoring what’s painful. Instead, we learn how to mindfully listen to pain with love and acceptance. We become aware that fear, anger, or grief is present inside of us. Then we can approach our pain with the attitude of “I see that you’re suffering. Everyone suffers sometimes, and you’re allowed to feel what you feel. I am here for you.” This acceptance can help us to manage our stress and have more energy to stay compassionate when faced with the problems of the world. “If you only pay attention to what’s painful in your life, you will inevitably end up exhausted and overwhelmed.” In my own life, there are many moments when I feel like avoiding my suffering. However, I’ve learned that my life can be much better if I do the exact opposite. Instead of running away, I bring a more focused attention to the unpleasant sensations in my body and tell myself, “Whatever you feel in this moment is completely OK.” Resistance may arise in me — I may tell myself that I don’t want to feel like this — but I just shift my attention and acceptance to that voice, saying to myself, “I know you want ease and safety, just like everyone else does. I’m here to listen and help.” This self-compassion soothes me and works much better than trying to transform my pain by ignoring it or berating myself for it. RELATED: How to avoid keep the greater good in mind during the Coronavirus outbreak When I say “like everyone else does,” it helps me to keep in mind our common humanity — particularly the fact that what we do is always motivated by the desire to avoid suffering and find wellness. If you’re angry about a social injustice, the deepest motivation for that anger is your wish to live in a peaceful and just world. If you lost your temper with your child and now feel ashamed, the deepest motivation in your shame is your wish to have the best possible relationship with your child. When we look at our thoughts, feelings, and actions under the light of that understanding, we can more easily forgive ourselves and others when we or they fall short. Stay human, even when other people suck Humans can be pretty terrible at getting along. Whether it’s two people who are in love but can’t stop hurting each other or thousands of people who are trying to build a social movement but can’t agree on anything, it seems like it shouldn’t be this hard. But it is. Forever friends: appreciate the good stuff shutterstock/rawpixel.com When your interaction with someone is derailing, take a minute to consider whether you are criticizing or making a demand of them. Then, check in with yourself: What need is underneath this? What’s my deepest motivation? Maybe you’re yelling at your spouse because she’s late (again) from work and the dinner you made is getting cold. The hidden need might be that you don’t feel respected or appreciated for your efforts… and you’re hungry! When you identify the hidden need, self-compassion becomes easier. In that moment, your practice can sound like, “I’m angry because I want to feel respected and appreciated, just like every other human being. That wish in me is beautiful, and it’s OK for me to feel it.” Breathing like this for a minute or so will usually defuse your frustration. In the light of seeing your own deeper needs, you’ll also feel more curious about the needs motivating the other person. RELATED: How to practise self-compassion – 6 proven techniques Applying the teachings of mindfulness and self-compassion to real-life challenges isn’t easy. My new book tells the story of how I’ve learned to deepen my practice through healing from a difficult childhood, engaging in political organizing, and losing my wife to cancer. I hope it can inspire you to deepen your practice, as well. ● Main image: shutterstock/Dragon Images Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. Happiness.com is honoured to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu
  9. More countries are measuring happiness – but are they measuring the right things? By Sam Wren-Lewis on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. Imagine two different societies. In the first, people tend to be stressed, tense, irritable, distracted, and self-absorbed. In the second, people tend to be at ease, untroubled, quick to laugh, expansive, and self-assured. The difference between these two imagined scenarios is vast. You’re not only more likely to be happier in the second scenario – you’re also more likely to be safer, be healthier, and have better relationships. The difference between a happy and an unhappy society is not trivial. We know that happiness matters beyond our desire to feel good. So, how can we create a happy society? The Buddhist nation of Bhutan was the first society to determine policy based on the happiness of its citizens, with the king of Bhutan famously claiming in 1972 that gross national happiness (GNH) was a more important measure of progress than gross national product (GNP). What makes a happy society? shutterstock/Illin Denis Many other countries have since followed suit – looking to move “beyond GDP” as a measure of national progress. For instance, the UK developed a national well-being program in 2010 and has since measured the nation’s well-being across ten domains, not too dissimilar to Bhutan’s approach. More recently, New Zealand introduced its first “well-being budget,” with a focus on improving the well-being of the country’s most vulnerable people. Such initiatives tend to broadly agree over the conditions required for a happy society. According to the World Happiness Report, there are six keys for a happy life: income, healthy life expectancy, social support, freedom, trust, and generosity. RELATED: World Happiness Report Scandinavian countries – which typically top the global happiness rankings (Finland is currently first) – tend to do well on all these measures. In contrast, war-torn nations such as South Sudan, Central African Republic, and Afghanistan tend to do badly. So does happiness rely on these six key ingredients? The what, not the how I don’t think so. This approach is, ultimately, too simple – even potentially harmful. The problem is that it focuses on what happiness is, not how to achieve it. Clearly, things such as a good life expectancy, social support, and trust are good for us. But how we come to that conclusion may matter more than the conclusion itself. For instance, how do we know that we are measuring what is most important? The world happiness rankings largely rely on measures of life satisfaction. But it is far from obvious that such measures can account for important differences in emotional well-being. “According to the World Happiness Report, there are six key ingredients for national happiness: income, healthy life expectancy, social support, freedom, trust, and generosity.” Alternatively, perhaps we could ask people what they think matters. The development of the UK’s national well-being program took this approach, undertaking qualitative research to develop their ten domains of happiness. But this approach is also problematic. How do we know which of the ten domains are most important? The most important ingredients for one community may not be the same for another. Asking people is a good idea. But we can’t just do it once and then assume the job is done. Don’t get me wrong – I believe these kinds of initiatives are an improvement on more narrow ways of measuring national progress, such as an exclusive focus on income and GDP. But that doesn’t mean we should ignore their faults. There are parallels here with the pursuit of happiness on an individual level. We typically go about our lives with a list of things in our head that we think will make us happy – if only we get that promotion, have a loving relationship, and so on. Achieving these things can certainly improve our lives – and may even make us happier. RELATED: Why happiness is a choice But we are fooling ourselves if we think they will make us happy in a lasting sense. Life is too complicated for that. We are vulnerable, insecure creatures and will inevitably experience disappointment, loss, and suffering. By exclusively focusing on the things we think will make us happy, we blind ourselves to the other things in life that matter. Happiness 101 Psychologists are beginning to focus their attention not just on the ingredients of individual happiness, but also on the capacities people need to be happy within inevitably insecure and fragile circumstances. For instance, the so-called “second wave” of positive psychology is as interested in the benefits of negative emotions as positive ones. The mindfulness revolution, meanwhile, urges people to go beyond their notions of good and bad and instead learn how to accept things as they are. These approaches are less concerned with what conditions make people happy and more interested in how people can pursue happiness within conditions of insecurity and uncertainty. Family is one key to happiness shutterstock/Twinsterphoto The more we focus on our list of desired things, the more we fail to see what really matters. When we are certain of the things that make us happy, and urgently try to achieve them, we fail to appreciate the value of the things we already have and the multiple unknown opportunities we have yet to discover. When things inevitably go wrong in our lives, we blame others or ourselves instead of learning from what happened. Psychologists are beginning to understand the limits of this. Happy individuals tend to have humility as well as certainty; curiosity as well as urgency; and compassion as well as blame. We can apply these same lessons on a national scale. Creating a happier society requires not just promoting what matters, but also promoting the capacities for discovering what matters. “The more we focus on our list of desired things, the more we fail to see what really matters.” We know this on an institutional level. In education, we know that it is important to promote curiosity and a love of learning as well as good exam results. In academia, we know that, although we can discover important scientific truths, almost all of our current scientific theories might be surpassed by other theories and we should remain open-minded. We know that the appeal and relevance of religious institutions depends on balancing dogmatic teachings with mystery and curiosity — order and faith on the one hand, openness and flexibility on the other. Creating a happy society does not just depend on creating the right conditions. It also depends on creating the right institutions and processes for discovering those conditions. The irony is that members of the happy society described at the beginning of this article — who tend to be at ease, untroubled, quick to laugh, expansive, and self-assured — are probably less focused on what makes them happy and more focused on exploring what really matters — with humility, curiosity, and compassion. To actually create a happy society, we need measures and institutions that do much the same. ● This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is grateful to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu
  10. Mindfulness can help us maintain our well-being in the face of difficult situations. By Mitch Abblett on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. “You’re making Daddy late for work!” I said, standing over my then-three-year-old daughter with the winter coat I was insisting she wear. “No! I’m not wearing it!” Celia screamed. My anger surged. Thoughts of “I’m sick of this” and “She’s doing this on purpose” swept through my mind. I was scheduled to conduct a 9 a.m. parent training therapy session, and her resistance would make me late. Ironically, it was on 'mindful parenting'. Mindlessly, I pressed my agenda. Understandably, she pushed back. “NO!!” she yelled, dropping rag-doll-style to the kitchen floor. I lost it. Bending down nose to nose with her, I yelled: “Celia! Put on your f***ing coat!” She froze. I jammed the coat onto her, led her to the car, buckled her in, and drove to daycare. My daughter, usually chatty, was notably silent. Me? My cheeks burned red with the shame and self-doubt of a man completely convinced he was a 'horrible father.' And then, from the serene calm of the backseat, my daughter spoke up. “But daddy?” she asked. “What, Celia?” I expected the usual request for a snack, or for me to flip on her favourite Mickey Mouse songs. “But, daddy, I don’t want to wear my f***ing coat.” If you’re a parent, you may recognize yourself in this story. But let it soak in that I’m not only a dad, but also a child and family psychologist and a mindfulness author. Let yourself feel a bit better for all of your own angry, self-doubting, anxious, avoidant, or compulsive reactions to difficult circumstances. It happens to all of us. Getting angry or irritable in day-to-day life is normal shutterstock/George Rudy Even if you’re not a parent, you still have your own moments of surging thoughts and emotions leading to highly reactive and 'unskillful' behavior. Whether you’ve ruminated over a fight with a loved one or avoided work by taking a not-so-sick day, you’ve fallen prey to a negative habit of mind that is keeping you stuck and miserable. “Let yourself feel a bit better for all of your own angry, self-doubting, anxious, avoidant, or compulsive reactions to difficult circumstances. It happens to all of us.” In my new book, The Five Hurdles to Happiness, I describe five problematic and reactive habits of mind (or hurdles) that were originally identified in ancient contemplative and meditative traditions, and I explain how they affect our happiness, peace, compassion, clarity of mind, and effective action. Though these habits evolved for important reasons — to keep us safe from danger, for example — many of us find them less than useful in our modern world, where they can wreak havoc on our well-being. The five hurdles to happiness So, what are these five hurdles to happiness? Here's a brief description of each, with examples of how they can become obstacles in our lives. 1. Desire Craving for pleasurable experiences of people, places, or things. Desire for pleasure is completely normal. It’s compulsive craving that leads to excessive costs to our effectiveness and, in extremes, to the impairments and perils of addiction. For example, 8 per cent of U.S. adults have experienced an alcohol use disorder at some point in their lifetime. 2. Aversion Anger, frustration, and hostility when we perceive life circumstances 'shouldn’t' be as they are. We all get irritable and frustrated with daily life from time to time — it’s natural to want to 'push away' from aversive situations (and people). The problem is how toxic anger can be to our relationships, and even our physical health. 3. Mental fatigue The clouded, dull, sluggish state of mind that saps our concentration and ability to see others, the world, and ourselves clearly. We all 'zone out' on occasion, but when our minds regularly tune out the world around us because it’s unsatisfactory in some way, then we pay an unnecessary cost. According to the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, 26.5 per cent of individuals in the U.S. over the age of 16 report feeling unrested during the day, with 25 per cent reporting difficulty concentrating. 4. Restlessness Anticipating the threat of negative outcomes in the future, and a lack of abiding in the present. Our powerful human brain evolved to help us quickly and efficiently anticipate threats in our environment. When anxiety becomes extreme, though, it can seriously block us in everyday life. In a 12-month period, approximately 25 per cent of U.S. adults would meet diagnostic criteria for an anxiety disorder, and in 2004 anxiety disorders cost the European Union more than €41 billion. 5. Doubt Uncertainty about our situation and ourselves that blocks our ability to see the way forward with flexibility and our willingness to engage with challenges and demands in our daily lives. People with chronically high levels of self-doubt are much less confident and, for example, report lower self-esteem when presented with a memory task. Practice SNAPPing awake when hurdles arise While we can’t change experiences or objects that trigger us, we can shift how we relate to them — meaning, the thoughts, images, and uncomfortable bodily sensations that accompany them. How? Through learning about and practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness is a state of nonjudgmental paying of attention to one’s experience of the present moment and is key to detangling ourselves from habitual ways of responding. Cultivating mindfulness, we can learn to lean into habitual patterns when they show up and ultimately sidestep them, allowing for more consistent experiences of happiness and well-being. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged As researcher Judson Brewer has demonstrated, mindfulness practices offer the possibility of severing habitual cycles at their source in the brain. For example, studies suggest that mindfulness can help us stop smoking, manage anxiety, and change problematic eating by cutting the link between conditioned cues in our environment and our habitual responses to those cues. We simply need to learn to leap over these hurdles to happiness with consistent practice. Here’s a sample of how you might practice doing so, by 'SNAPPing' awake: 1. Stop what you’re doing for just a moment when you can tell you’re getting triggered by something in your environment. 2. Notice with curiosity what is happening in your body and your mind. Witness and watch the energetic play of bodily sensations and the continuous flow of thoughts and mental images as each is born, lives, and passes on its own. 3. Allow these experiences to be just as they are, without judgment or attempts to control them. This doesn’t mean you’re signing up for discomfort or pain; you’re choosing to recognize what’s happening in the moment without trying to change it. Tackle uncomfortable bodily feelings with deep belly breathing shutterstock/fizkes 4. Penetrate uncomfortable sensations in the body with full, deep belly breaths, and continue to breathe in this way until you notice your experience shifting and your negative patterns of thought and feeling beginning to dissolve and become more flexible. 5. Prompt yourself to move or act with intention in the direction that feels most important and reflects compassionate care for others. Pause to remember to be kind to yourself and to appreciate your efforts in working with your habitual patterns. When bringing mindfulness to our habits, we build the skill of deeply listening to what these patterns are telling us about how we play defense against pain every day, and how we might learn to be with our body and mind with spacious presence and clear awareness. That way, we can look at our lives with less distortion and leap forward with more purpose and direction. I certainly have tried to practice bringing mindfulness to my own habit loops, and Celia, now nine years old, is the prime beneficiary. It’s easier for me to slow down before I slide into my old, unhealthy, reactive 'Abblett anger.' And I’ve got the absence of F-bombs in recent years to prove it! ● Main image: shutterstock/Olga Danylenko This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is honoured to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu
  11. Researchers are exploring how our everyday thoughts and feelings contribute to our well-being. By Kira M. Newman on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. Last month, researchers from over 60 countries gathered at the International Positive Psychology Association’s 6th World Congress in Melbourne, Australia, to share cutting-edge insights on the science of well-being. Their findings added depth and complexity to our understanding of the major keys to a flourishing life. In Melbourne, we heard about when kindness makes us happier — but also when it doesn’t. We learned how the elderly can be meaningfully engaged in helping others. We discovered many concrete ways to boost our sense of meaning in life, and how cultural differences influence the pursuit of happiness. Researchers also addressed modern obstacles to happiness — from the way we’re hooked on technology to a widespread sense of disconnection and loneliness. RELATED: 11 things to do if you're feeling lonely However, there were several insights presented at the World Congress that stood out to me as new or surprising. Here are some of the emerging pathways to well-being that positive psychology is just beginning to explore, and the exciting potential they might hold. 1. Positive solitude Researchers have repeatedly found that social connection is one of the keys to happiness. And for many of us, feeling separated from other people translates into a sense of loneliness and disconnection. But does solitude have to be a negative experience? Can time alone feed our well-being? Researchers Martin Lynch, Sergey Ishanov, and Dmitry Leontiev at Russia’s National Research University Higher School of Economics have investigated the phenomenon of positive or “productive solitude,” in contrast with the more unpleasant experience of being alone. Productive solitude doesn’t occur because we feel disconnected from others; it’s something that we deliberately seek out. Rather than being lonely or ruminating on negative experiences, we use the solitary time for contemplation, reflection, or creativity. People who experience positive solitude tend to feel more positive emotions — in particular, the low-energy ones like relaxation and calm. According to research by Leontiev, when these people do find themselves alone, they have a greater sense of pleasure and meaning — and less of a sense of void. Alone time: positive solitude shutterstock/phovoir What kind of people enjoy their alone time? Positive solitude seems to come more naturally to those who are more introverted or higher in emotional and psychological maturity. What if you don’t have those traits? We might see more benefit in solitude if we deliberately schedule alone time for doing something we enjoy, for example, or spend our solitary time in the peaceful and welcoming setting of nature. Future research may uncover other ways for all of us to cultivate new attitudes toward solitude so we can appreciate it more — and be happier for it. 2. Feeling active One of the traditional surveys that researchers use to measure positive emotions includes a peculiar statement: “I feel active.” For researcher Sarah Pressman, that didn’t quite seem like a positive emotion — not the way other feelings like “grateful” or “happy” are — so she decided to investigate it further. Past research would suggest that people who experience more positive emotions are healthier in various ways — for example, they have stronger immune systems, exercise more, have a lower risk of heart disease, and even live longer. But what role does feeling “active” play in our health and well-being? A significant one, it turns out. According to analyses by Pressman and her colleagues, feeling active accounted for a sizable portion of the link between positive emotions and different measures of health. (For men, feeling active was the positive emotion that predicted how long they would live.) But feeling active didn’t exactly correspond to how much physical activity people engaged in. “Rather than being lonely or ruminating on negative experiences, positive solitude uses time for contemplation, reflection, or creativity.” In other words, it doesn’t just matter how physically active we are, but how active — how energetic, vigorous, and vital— we feel. That’s a psychological state that researchers should pay more attention to, Pressman believes. The little we know comes from the workplace, where studies have described the phenomenon of “relational energy”: how some people excite and energize us while others leave us drained and exhausted. But what makes us feel active and how else is that beneficial? It remains to be determined who these energetic people are, and whether we can all get happier by boosting the pep in our step. 3. Future-mindedness As we pursue happiness, we often ponder the future — and the kinds of things that will make us feel good tomorrow or next year. Even though our predictions aren’t always accurate, the simple act of contemplating the future might be a key to well-being. According to social psychologist Roy Baumeister, happy and optimistic people tend to think about the future more often than their less-upbeat counterparts. Thinking about the future seems to come in two flavors: First, we dream big and imagine fantasy outcomes; then, we “get real” and come up with pragmatic plans. Future first: daydreaming ahead shutterstock/Ollyy Thinking about the future is useful personally and in our relationships. For example, research suggests that people whose minds tend to wander toward the future develop more concrete goals. And if you’re having a conflict with a romantic partner, looking at it from a future perspective — imagining how you would think about it one year from now — could lead to less blame, more forgiveness, and greater well-being in your relationship. When the process of imagining positive futures (and how to bring them about) goes awry, we may be at risk of mental health issues. Researchers have suggested that faulty future-mindedness — envisioning a darker future for yourself — contributes to depression, anxiety, and other disorders. For this reason, perhaps, many popular therapies — such as future-oriented therapy, hope therapy, solution-focused therapy, and cognitive-behavioral therapy — help clients improve the way they think about the future. If you want to improve your future-mindedness without therapy, another option is to journal about new doors that have opened or might open in your life. RELATED: Gratitude journals – travels to our interior According to Martin Seligman, a pioneer of the field of positive psychology, people and societies themselves may be becoming more future-minded today. We are thinking not just about what we can achieve in the future ourselves, but what we can all achieve together. For the attendees of the World Congress, at least, that means spreading the knowledge and practice of well-being to more and more people, in the hopes of creating a better world for everyone. ● Main image: shutterstock/asife This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is honoured to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu
  12. By changing perspective to look at an apparently negative situation in a different way, we can imagine a more positive story – one that's more likely to lead to greater happiness. Ed Gould examines how gaining perspective also offers up a chance to consider others, too. It's part of human nature to think about oneself and to focus on what's going on around us, but this one-dimensional perspective can lead to a false sense of priorities. How do we break out from a parochial view of our lives and start to see things as they really are? By changing perspective, we can gain greater insights and gain deeper happiness. Changing perspective is a healthy exercise if we want to be empathetic, rational and more compassionate. However, changing perspective is not merely about seeing things from the point of view of another. It's just as much about gaining perspective. In other words, our sense of compassion for others need not be the driver for looking for an alternative angle on things. It can help us escape the happiness trap and develop a higher level of understanding, too. In fact, simply seeing things another way is good for us not only because it means getting out of a mental rut, but because of what we might be missing out on. Changing and gaining perspective: a classical illustration The famous Greek philosopher Plato once taught his pupils by coming up with an allegory of a cave. The prisoners in his cave cannot see reality, merely a shadow of it because they are in chains. All they need to gain a higher level of comprehension is to see what is causing the shadows to form – to see things as they really are. In the allegory, this would mean that the cave dwellers would need to break free from their chains. In a sense, altering our perspective on things means breaking free from mental chains. Happy help: change perspective and your mood, too! To extend Plato's metaphor in this manner is fair because a change of perspective takes effort. Most of us are happy enough to keep moving on in our lives the way we always have – especially if we feel a degree of happiness in our current situation. Nevertheless, unless the mental effort is made, we'll never know what lies beyond the cave or what is causing the shadows to fall against its wall. As such, changing and gaining perspective can be seen as the same thing. Changing your perspective: the benefits However, to get a handle on the advantages of a change of perspective, there's no need to go back to ancient Greece. There are plenty of illustrations from more modern times. The author and thinker Benjamin Grant cites just one such example. • JOIN US! Learn more about human connection and psychology • During the Apollo missions, when NASA was working towards putting a man on the moon, the astronaut Bill Anders took one of the most iconic images ever to have been captured by a camera. During the Apollo 8 mission of 1968, the spacecraft orbited the moon several times. As the ship passed by the moon's horizon, he was the first man to see the Earth rise from the moon's perspective. His world famous 'Earthrise' shot, according to Grant, is so iconic because it shows humanity from a different viewpoint. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } It should be said that this new perspective is no mere novelty which only looks pretty – although the image is beautiful. The point of view it offers is mind altering. That is its message, its benefit, if you will. The 'Earthrise' photograph captures all of humanity, bar the astronauts on the mission, and shows something that feels so anchored and permanent – our planet – spinning in the lonely vastness of space. “Changing perspective is a healthy exercise if we want to be empathetic, rational and compassionate.” If you think that such an image is mind-altering from Earth, then consider just how many astronauts have returned from space missions with a new perspective on life and humanity. This, Grant says, is the so-called 'overview effect', which is a consequence of space travel. It can cause profound changes in our brains. Grant has harnessed the 'overview effect' in his work. A creator of images, he takes some of the most stunning photographs captured by satellites above Earth and uses them to create pictures that are designed to alter minds back on the planet. A change of perspective: fruit orchards in Huelva, Spain © Benjamin Grant Whether his images are of the tulip fields of the Netherlands, fruit orchards in Spain or refugee camps in northern Kenya, he is exposing us to the truth, but not as we know it. The colours, the scale and the perspective – everything is shot from above, as you would expect – and gives us a view of the world we might know, but also knowingly ignore. His images offer us the chance to gain insights into the fragility of ecosystems, the plight of fellow humans and, yes, to simply marvel at the beauty of the planet. MORE LIKE THIS: When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading! Feeling Lost in Life? Move On In 7 Steps Internal Conflict and Inner Turmoil: 5 Steps To Resolve It If you're looking for up-sides of gaining a new perspective, then as a way to increase happiness levels, it's right up there. If your focus is on something that you perceive to be negative in your life and you come at it from a different angle, then you can feel better about it. What's more, you might even find that it helps you to perform better as a result. This approach is called reframing and is just one way in which you can derive benefits from gaining new perspectives. Let's look at some more techniques that will allow you to feel more confident, less self-critical and to enjoy more happiness. Perspective and point of view: how to change yours For many, altering perspective means becoming less self-centred and moving to a more compassionate understanding of others and the world around us. By stepping outside of our usual perspectives, it can become possible to frame arguments in ways that motivate others instead of leaving them feeling rejected, for example. Seeing things as 'bad' without taking a fresh view can mean that we get set into a closed loop of negativity. Bright future: change your view and change your life For instance, a relationship breakdown can sometimes lead to negative feelings about one's self-worth. However, a changed perspective might be that becoming single is the start of something new. As a result of reframing your view, you might even gain a higher perspective of yourself, embracing the part of yourself which might not have felt room for self-expression within the relationship. In fact, academics have done plenty of research into the techniques that will allow us to see things in a new light. Here's a look at four of the ways you can change and gain perspective. 1. Reframing your past As previously mentioned, reframing your point of view can lead to tremendously helpful results and renewed chances of happiness. This is particularly effective if you reframe the way in which you see your past. For example, you might say that certain negative outcomes are always bound to happen because of 'the way you are'. You might have been told that you are impulsive or even hot-headed by others and believe this of yourself. “If your focus is on something that you perceive to be negative in your life and you come at it from a different angle, then you can feel better about it.” However, studies have shown that reframing a negative attribute from your past as a positive one can heighten your performance. Try relabelling your so-called impulsive past as creative, for example, and see how the new perspective can impact on your present. 2. A change of perspective: problem solving Expressing ourselves is optimistic – in other words, positive, complimentary and generous – and we will naturally develop higher levels of self-esteem and a healthier self-image. By getting into the habit of being positive, we can deal with criticism and setbacks much better. Not only does this altered perspective mean that we are better set against potential adversity, but our ability to problem-solve also becomes more efficient. In her book, Putting the Positive Thinker to Work, Potter outlines how reframing perspectives can augment levels of commitment, especially at work, and lead to greater persistence with tasks. This, she argues, is the foundation for most success in the workplace. Another viewpoint: change perspective, retell your story 3. Compassion and understanding By gaining new perspectives, we can become more compassionate to others. It's important not to fall back into bad habits of negative thinking, however. A daily ritual of positive affirmation of yourself and those around you can help to keep your understanding of the world fixed in a better perspective than it otherwise might be. • BE INSPIRED! Join our compassion and curious community • Indeed, so-called 'silver lining thinking' will help you to see the good in events and to reframe problems as challenges. If you can consciously interrupt negative thoughts that might pop into your head, then this will help you to remain the compassionate person you want to be. 4. Seeing the bigger picture Finally, seeing the bigger picture means sometimes taking a step back and creating time to gain the sort of perspective you'll need for your happiness and compassion. From an astronaut's point of view, seeing the bigger picture comes from literally taking in a macro view of the world. However, we can do this for ourselves, too. Take time to clear your mind, listen to the wind in the trees and rush a little less. Ask yourself what truly counts in your life and, of course, the benefits of meditation can help you to gain insights into what's most important. By changing your perspective on your life you can change the course of it and find greater joy. ● Main image: Benjamin Grant happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online Academy classes Keys to Happiness | Gratitude | Work life balance | Quality time Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's also a practitioner of Reiki.
  13. With age comes wisdom and experience, but also the possibility of cognitive impairment such as memory loss and poor judgement. But, as Ed Gould writes, there are five key ways to fight off these problems and boost your brain matter. Although the brain isn't a muscle, exercise can stimulate its growth and regeneration in a similar way to a physical workout, providing greater muscularity. Research in the field of neuroplasticity has shown that many aspects of the brain can be altered, even into adulthood. Indeed, by building new brain tissue, it's possible to overcome cognitive impairment. Recent studies have shown that physical exercise can improve brain functions. In one research paper published by Elsevier Inc., it was discovered that a key player in intracellular proteolysis – Cathepsin B – was found to be secreted in the body in greater quantities in runners than in people who had taken no exercise. Put simply, this means that the memory function of the human brain is improved by simply taking exercise. Psychologists including Dr Matthew Edlund, who has published books such as Designed to Last, have pointed out that similar restorative effects on the brain which have been derived from physical activity have been found in other species, too. So, should we work our brains like a muscle if we want to feel higher happiness in some cognitive training programme? Well, yes. But that's not the full story. For anyone wishing to overcome cognitive impairment, then other things, such as social activities, are just as important. Five ways to fight cognitive impairment In all, there are five different categories to consider if you want to be happier in yourself and to avoid the sort of cognitive impairment problems such as memory loss and poor judgement that are all too prevalent in older age. Let's examine what we can all do to keep our brains in good condition so that we feel better about ourselves right now and in the future. 1. Cognitive training and new learning In fact, as far as your brain function is concerned, it matters little what you learn, so long as you keep engaging in learning itself. According to the Alzheimer's Association, a body which knows a thing or two about cognitive impairment, there are plenty of tasks we can give our brains which will guard against the condition in the future. According to the Association, formal education is known to reduce the risk of cognitive decline and dementia. Crucially, this is the case, no matter when it's taken in life. If you think that attending classes is for children or for people who need to upskill during the early part of their career, then you're right. However, that learning is also for middle-aged people and recently retired folk is equally as valid. Regarding happiness and fighting off cognitive impairment, there can be few better tactics than learning about something you're already interested in a formal way. Picture perfect: learning a new skill can help reduce cognitive impairment Cognitive training might take the form of learning a foreign language ahead of an overseas holiday, or studying a little art history to make that next trip to the gallery a more informed experience. However, if a classroom environment is not for you, then why not consider other methods of engaging your brain with new skills. Meditation, bridge classes or logic puzzles will train your brain to work in new ways, especially games which need you to think strategically. Such activities have been widely researched in study programmes – many of them indicating clear beneficial outcomes for the brain. 2. Social activities Selfless though it might seem, joining a local community volunteer group might be the best thing you ever do for yourself. Like cognitive training, being social creates better brain functions because it forces the brain to work in specific ways. If you're locked away from the world to an extent, then not being sociable can become a habit. It may lead to the brain's neural pathways shifting over time to the extent that you never feel like engaging in social activities again. To prevent this, take affirmative steps to ensure you're not cut off from your neighbours, family and friends. “Regarding happiness and fighting off cognitive impairment, there can be few better tactics than learning about something new you're interested in.” Taking a role in your local community does not merely derive benefits for those around you; it will help your brain to remain active in a meaningful way, which will help to prevent neural problems in future. Of course, just being around people is often enough to induce the brain's chemicals that make us feel better about ourselves, so-called happiness hormones. Chatting, interacting, learning and teaching are all things that will help to keep your brain active, too. Throwing yourself into a new group is an excellent way of proceeding but – let's be honest – this isn't for everyone. Some of us are shy, and this great leap can seem too much, to begin with, anyway. If you want to take care of your brain, then take smaller steps to start with. Why not pick up the phone to a friend you haven't spoken to in a while and just ask them how they are? It's a great way to get the ball rolling, and strong social connections are a main ingredient for a good life. Get chatty: reduce cognitive impairment through being social 3. Nutritional intake Like any part of our bodies, brains are made of the matter we consume. Without the right ingredients, it's hard for the body to make the right proteins and enzymes for regeneration. In other words, the brain needs you to eat healthily for it to continue functioning correctly as you age and avoid cognitive impairment. On the face of it, eating healthily for a part of the body to remain healthy is obvious, right? However, you should bear in mind that a healthy brain is also likelier to mean a happier life, so it's not just about your physical well-being, but your mental well-being, too. RELATED: Good mood food According to a study by Martha Clare Morris, et al, of the Department of Internal Medicine at the Rush University Medical Centre in Chicago, a hybrid of a Mediterranean and a so-called stop hypertension diet will slow down cognitive decline. Morris' work dealt with 923 participants who were aged from 58 to 98 years and engaged in what is often referred to as a DASH diet. Essentially, such a diet is low in trans fats, rich in potassium and calcium, and requires a smaller salt intake. By limiting dairy and meat in favour of vegetables, whole grains and fruit, you can eat your way to a healthier brain. “The brain needs you to eat healthily for it to continue functioning correctly as you age and avoid cognitive impairment.” Long considered to be good for the brain, the consumption of fish is also useful. According to a 2014 paper in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, baked or broiled fish eaten on a weekly basis will mean you have more grey matter – on average – compared with people who don't have this level of consumption. Bear in mind that fried fish did not make up any part of the research, however. Also, the fatty acids, like omega-3, found in fish seem to work better when consumed as food rather than as a dietary supplement, as reported in Time magazine. Perhaps this suggests fish have some unknown improving effect on brains? Dish the fish: it's a great brain-boosting food 4. Physical activity People who are physically active tend to have better brain health. As mentioned already, recent scientific studies have shown the connection between running and brain regeneration, but that's far from the full story. Of course, activities like swimming, dancing or even brisk walking will all release endorphins into the body. Not only is it good for the brain to become a little breathless due to exercise, it makes you feel happier due to the release of these endorphins. Some scientists have suggested that the body functions this way because the build-up of carbon dioxide in the body caused by exercise is balanced by the kick of natural opioids. In other words, your body rewards you with a natural high if you exercise. Few people who take regular exercise would argue that they don't feel better as a result of working out, not just while they do it, but for a significant time afterwards. “Activities like swimming, dancing or even brisk walking will all release endorphins into the body.” It's important to note that exercise is not just about maintaining good cognitive abilities. It can help the brain recover where it might have been going into decline. According to research by Elise Wogensen, et al., of the Department of Cognitive Neuroscience at the University of Copenhagen in Denmark, exercise in a large number of cases can promote cognitive recovery after an injury that the brain has sustained. Although there are some factors which are still to be established as to how this works, Wogensen's work indicates strongly that physical activity and restoring brain functions are linked, and that the rehabilitation of 'lost' brain functions is possible. Work out wonder: exercise releases endorphins, your 'happy' hormones 5. Management of heart health risk factors According to the Alzheimer's Association, the factors that are already known to impact on heart health and which combat heart disease are also fully linked to delaying or even preventing the onset of dementia. One of these is taking frequent exercise. Other measures include stopping smoking and reducing stress. Heart health can also be maintained better by keeping on top of obesity levels and of reducing blood cholesterol, both important to future brain health, too. Lastly, it should be said that anyone who has diabetes should manage this in a way that is conducive to good heart health. If so, then the brain is likely to be kept in good condition as well. ● Main image: colourbox.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy these benefits: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips and inspiration ■ share knowledge and help support others in our happiness forum ■ learn and self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy CBT | Friendship | Family activities | Positive thinking | Forgiveness Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's a practitioner of Reiki.
  14. Governmental psychologist Dóra Guðmundsdóttir explains what makes a society flourish. By Jill Suttie on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. The World Happiness Report comes out every year, providing some data about how well-being varies from country to country and how it shifts within a country from one year to the next. But what makes some countries happier than others? Dóra Guðmundsdóttir is one of many researchers around the world studying happiness and well-being at the population level. By analyzing large data sets, she's helped to uncover the “epidemiology of well-being” — how different groups within a country are faring in response to changing social and economic forces, such as inequality, recessions, and education policies. By understanding these effects, she helps a country’s politicians and policymakers make better decisions to support the well-being of their citizens. To date, she's worked with the government in her home country of Iceland, where she is the director of determinants of health and wellbeing at the Directorate of Health. I recently interviewed Guðmundsdóttir about her research and what we can do to build more flourishing societies. Jill Suttie: What made you interested in studying social or environmental factors influencing happiness? Dóra Guðmundsdóttir: When I started studying the causes of happiness, I became very interested in the “causes of the causes” of happiness — meaning, the environmental factors that keep people from feeling connected, safe, and autonomous, all of which contribute to happiness. Even though many individual choices affect happiness, how easy or difficult it is to make those choices often depends on social or environmental factors, like government welfare programs or gender equality, for example. JS: According to the World Happiness Report, happiness has been decreasing around the world (as a whole) and there is more “happiness inequality” within countries. Why do you think that’s the case? DG: There might be many reasons for a decline in happiness. One of them might be higher expectations. In many countries, people are faring better each year — living longer, healthier lives. So, maybe people have a stronger sense that they have the right to feel good. It may also be that many people are more open about their mental health so they are more willing to say when they're unhappy. Or it might be that younger generations have less tolerance for adversity and pain (both physical and mental) than previous generations. RELATED: Happiness across different cultures In terms of inequality, there has always been more happiness inequality within countries than between countries. We also see that there is more happiness inequality within municipalities than between municipalities in the same country. It would be helpful to look at those who score high in happiness and those who score low, and then monitor changes in both, to see how policies impact these groups differently. But our current measure of happiness gives us only a very limited view of the situation. We need broader measures of mental well-being to better understand differences. Icelanders are well-known for their happy nature © shutterstock.com JS: This year, Iceland was ranked as the fourth-happiest country in the world. What is it about Iceland that makes the people there so happy? DG: According to studies around the world, it seems that the most important contributor to happiness is one’s social relationships. In a small country like Iceland, it's quite easy to be in good contact with your family and friends. The majority of the population lives within an hour’s drive from the Reykjavik capital area. Another important factor related to happiness is health, and the health status in Iceland is quite good compared to other countries. We have the lowest infant mortality rate in the world and one of the highest life expectancies; the majority of citizens have access to good-quality health care. RELATED: Happiness – what is it exactly? Iceland is also a very peaceful nation — for example, we have never had an army. There's a high level of trust in the society, too. Children can go places freely and play outside without supervision. Icelanders also have quite a bit of control over their lives. They have access to quality education, whatever the educational background of their parents. And Iceland is the country with the narrowest gender gap in the world, where it's now illegal to pay women less than men for the same job. “According to studies around the world, it seems that the most important contributor to happiness is one’s social relationships. In a small country like Iceland, it's quite easy to be in good contact with your family and friends.” All of this makes it easy and acceptable to try out different things, so people do not feel that they are stuck in a particular path they have not chosen. Their level of safety and autonomy probably has a big impact on their happiness. JS: How much — and in what ways — is happiness affected by economic forces, according to your research? DG: Income only predicts one per cent of the happiness in Iceland when other factors are taken into account. That means making a higher income is not going to lead to more happiness, necessarily — it’s a fairly low predictor [of happiness] compared to social relations. RELATED: Money can't buy happiness (except when you spend it like this) At the same time, the biggest predictor for unhappiness is having financial difficulty. Those who find it difficult to make ends meet have the lowest happiness score of all groups, lower than those without a job and those with the lowest income. This means that those with the lowest income are not necessarily the same group as those with financial difficulties. There are people with high incomes who have financial difficulties, and that is worse for your happiness than having a lower income with no financial difficulties. JS: You’ve been looking at research around how economic disasters affect well-being in a country. What are your most surprising findings? DG: When we studied the effects of the banking system collapse in Iceland, we found that happiness among adolescents went up after the collapse, even though the happiness levels of adults went down. That’s because after the collapse, adults were working fewer hours, which meant parents had more time to spend with their adolescents. As it became easier for the adolescents to get emotional support from their parents, their happiness increased, even though working less may have resulted in a lower GDP [Gross Domestic Product] for the country. The natural beauty of Iceland brings joy to many JS: Do you think that having greater levels of happiness in the population acts as a kind of buffer against strong economic downturns? DG: Yes. When a person faces a challenge, it's likely that the level of well-being before the challenge would play a role in the impact of the challenge. A person who has low well-being and has few resources to handle adversity might be more vulnerable than a person high in well-being with more resources. In our study, we saw that adolescents who had strong relationships with their parents were not harmed by the economic crisis, while those who had weak relations with their parents had a decrease in their happiness. So, good relations with parents are not only good for your happiness but can also act as a buffer (protecting factor) for your well-being in times of crisis. JS: How have governments responded to your research and used it to create policy? DG: In 2007, public health authorities in Iceland decided to include public mental well-being measures in a national survey on Health and Wellbeing. That decision had an impact on both health policies and policies for the whole society. Well-being measures were then used as an indicator in the development of the Health 2020 policy for Iceland, as well as in the broader governmental policy for the economy and community, named Iceland 2020 and led by the prime minister. “Income only predicts one per cent of the happiness in Iceland when other factors are taken into account. That means making a higher income is not going to lead to more happiness, necessarily.” Public health indicators, including indicators of happiness and well-being, are published every year for seven health districts, providing profiles for each district. These profiles reflect the strengths and challenges in each district, which enables health authorities, municipalities, and other stakeholders to prioritize, plan, act, and evaluate according to the best available knowledge. For example, this information has been used to distribute financial resources for mental health services around the country. Additionally, municipalities (who score below the country average in happiness) have used the results to develop an action plan to increase happiness among their citizens. Close proximity to family helps Icelanders happier JS: What still needs to be done to increase resilience in your country, in your opinion? DG: In order to increase resilience, it's important to teach skills in schools — like, coping, self-efficacy, social and emotional learning, and mindfulness. Fortunately, we got funding from EU Horizon 2020 for developing a training program on mental resilience in schools in five European regions. The project is called UPRIGHT, and its general objective is to promote mental well-being and prevent mental disorders by enhancing resilience capacities in youths. It was designed by psychologists, pedagogists, methodologists, and technology experts from around Europe, and will focus on increasing resilience in adolescents (12-14 years of age), their families, and schools; validating the effectiveness of the program; and providing scientific evidence on specific resilience factors that contribute to promote positive mental well-being. JS: What do you think other countries can learn from your research? DG: Countries need measures beyond GDP to help them with policy planning. It’s very important to measure happiness and well-being on a national and local level and offer the results to the public, because what you measure gets attention! When you present well-being results to the public, it opens people’s eyes about differences in well-being and creates a desire to understand why the situation is like this and what can be done to improve it. It’s only when citizens ask for change that politicians listen and act. ● Main image: shutterstock/Aleksei Potov Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is honoured to republish it with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu
  15. In the final part of her series, Sienna Saint-Cyr looks at yoga for mood swings. Learn how to calm the shift in your mood through this set of yoga poses. As I ventured into the final part of this yoga series looking at yoga for mood swings, I began to see something pop up again and again: our moods are vital to us living a happy life. Psych Central, the Journal of Depression and Anxiety, Psychologist World and many more sources agree that happy people live healthier lives and make better decisions. Through that, happy folks bring more positive experiences into their lives. The sources also agree that our mood directly affects our happiness. Indeed, it takes mere seconds for even the most fortunate people I know to go from beaming with joy to being sour-faced and irritated. It's in this moment that we need to build resilience. Rapid changes in mood are due to the vast amount of stimuli that can affect us. We might get cut off in traffic, receive a bad review at work, hear a song, or even get a whiff of a random smell that can trigger a mood shift. Even when I'm happy overall in life, I can lose the feeling for days at a time if I don’t address my current mood of anger, sadness, fear or anxiety. When my current mood takes centre stage, all my focus shifts there. If the mood is a slight shift, I don’t tend to notice, and both the emotion and my overall happiness can coexist within me. But the moment my emotion moves to a place of being the focus, then it tends to hide my happiness from me. Mood swings and yoga Since yoga was doing so well for me in other areas, I began looking at Adriene’s videos on mood. I’d already used hers for compassion yoga and gratitude yoga, so this was a natural place to search. To my surprise, she had several options to choose from. I decided to try yoga for mood swings. This one called to me most because in the description Adrienne mentioned life’s little annoyances and how they can shift our mood fast. She also mentioned the stress hormones such as Cortisol and how yoga can help with these. According to the American Psychology Association, this hormone is natural to the body and helps regulate certain systems, but when there's too much of it flowing, it can cause adverse effects. So, when there's too much Cortisol in the system, it’s time to give it the boot! .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Y Yoga for mood swings from Adriene The practice: yoga for mood swings In her yoga for mood swings video, Adriene begins with a suggestion to let go and not worry about ‘doing it right’ for this practice. Her focus is more on the body’s needs, so she suggests allowing whatever is going on to exist. To do this, she keeps the practitioner in Sukhāsana (Easy pose) for longer than I found in other videos. In this cross-legged sitting position there's a heavy focus on breath and listening to the body rather than movement. As she brings the hands into play, Adriene gives the option to have soft hands or active hands. This was helpful because when we’re angry, we may want more pressure and use of our muscles. Personally, I found that I was able to release anger more efficiently when I maintained active muscles. On the contrary, when I'm sad or depressed, keeping my muscles soft assisted in releasing those emotions more effectively. The heavy focus on listening to our body in this video made a significant difference in the way I worked through my current mood. Another aspect of this practice that I felt helped me was the release portion. Rather than suggest the practitioners release slowly, she suggested doing what felt right at that moment. It might be jerky and fast, slow and steady, or whatever we need to release our emotion. When I was angry, the quicker and firmer movements helped. When I was sad, the slower releases from poses was most effective. “In her yoga for mood swings video, Adriene begins with a suggestion to let go and not worry about 'doing it right' for this practice. Her focus is more on the body's needs.” We then moved into Downward Dog, then into Walk the Dog. The walking kept my legs active. I was again surprised to notice that even when I did the practice during a sad moment, by the time we’d reached this spot in the video, the walking and active legs part was helping. Even though prior, the softer muscles worked best. I took this as a sign that the releasing was working and I made a conscious note of it. Had I started with Walk the Dog, it would have added to my sad mood rather than help it. Yoga for mood swings: downward dog pose After Walk the Dog we went back to a seated position and stayed there through the rest of the video, placing much focus on stretching. This was to bring us back into our 'flow', as Adriene calls it. The flow we have when the little things don’t happen to shift our mood. Adriene maintains positive affirmations throughout the yoga for mood swings video, things like, “I am supported”, which I found incredibly helpful in combination with the poses. She ended with the Reclining Goddess pose, also known as Supta Baddha Konasana. The moment I was in this pose, I felt relief from the emotions that had affected my mood so much. I don’t know why it worked, but it just did. Perhaps because spreading my legs open in such a manner forces my heart upward at the same time as it puts me in a vulnerable position at my base. As a victim of sexual abuse, opening my legs can be a struggle, even when I’m alone. The more I trust myself and the situation, the easier it becomes to open them. RELATED: Healing trauma with yoga But no matter how safe I feel, that position still makes me feel very vulnerable. But when I’m able to feel vulnerable rather than shut it down, it means that I’m working through whatever is causing me emotional pain. Yoga for mood swings: Reclining Goddess pose Shifting mood and thought I wholeheartedly believe that proper yoga for mood swings can change our attitude. If I was doing the wrong kind, like a bunch of super soft poses while I was full of rage, I don’t think that would be helpful. But with Adriene's method of listening to our body’s needs, we can embrace what our instincts tell us and work through the emotions that are sucking the happiness from us. We will always be affected by our surroundings. We live in a chaotic world the majority of the time. Having the tools to stop, breathe, listen to our body, then move in a manner that releases, could change how we go about our day. Imagine if I was in line at the grocery store and someone cut in front of me knowing I was there first. No matter what I chose to do at that moment, I’d still have emotions around what happened. I might get angry and say something. I might decide to suck it up and not start an argument. But either way, I’m going to feel slighted. If I don’t deal with the emotion at that moment, it would add to the list other things that happened that day until I became overwhelmed and full of rage. “Having the tools to stop, breathe, listen to our body, then move in a manner that releases, could change how we go about our day.” But what if I recognized my anger and what the person did, tuning into my body right there in the line? I could focus on my tense muscles. Listen to my body and what it needed. Then I could stretch or move onto my toes to activate my calf muscles. Many things could be done to release the feeling right there. And this means I don’t need to carry what happened beyond the store. By shifting my thoughts on how to respond to others, I can also change my mood. If we all began behaving in this manner, the chaos that so many of us know would eventually cease to exist. Yoga for happiness: series conclusions If you haven’t checked them out yet, please read part one: Compassion Yoga and part two: Gratitude Yoga as well as this one on yoga for mood swings. This series is designed to give us tools that will assist with the pursuit and ability to maintain happiness and introduce mindfulness, also for those who have difficulties with meditation. From my experiences, Adriene’s yoga series worked for achieving a greater level of happiness. But I had to commit to it completely. This experience taught me that balancing the mind, body and soul becomes easier when incorporating the practices of yoga and mindfulness. I now pay attention to my thoughts, my body and the tension in it, and my gut, which will conflict with my thoughts more often than I care to admit. These parts of me make up the whole me and keeping them in balance is vital to me being present, complete, and happy. Namaste! ● Images: colourbox.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Mindfulness | Stress management | Burnout Written by Sienna Saint-Cyr Sienna Saint-Cyr is an author, advocate, and the founder of SinCyr Publishing. She speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on the importance of having a healthy body image, understanding enthusiastic consent, using sexuality to promote healing, navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships, having Complex PTSD, and more. Sienna loves sharing her journey of healing and finding happiness with her readers. Along with writing erotica and romance, Sienna speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on such sex-positive topics as a healthy body image, using sexuality to promote healing, and navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships. She writes for several websites. Find out more.
  16. Self-help and improvement often involves reading, but Arlo Laibowitz suggests that watching movies about happiness makes a great alternative. Here are his Top 3 happy films and documentaries. In our pursuit of happiness, we read self-help books and studies, feel the benefits of meditation and yoga, and sustain happiness practices. Sometimes, however, it's also nice to wind down and watch an inspiring film or documentary. With these documentaries below, you'll kill two birds with one stone, as they are on the subject of happiness, and inspire to do more research, or explore new or different ways to think about and practice happiness. 1. Happy [2011] What's it about? The premise of Happy is that everyone can become happier. The film shows fragments of the life of people in different places around the world, and how they are happy. A rickshaw driver in Kolkata finds happiness in how his shack home guards him against the elements and how his children greet him after a days work. An American woman was disfigured during an accident but found the strength to move on and find purpose in life as a healer. Elsewhere, a Brazilian surfer finds happiness in his daily surf sessions on the waves, and in sharing that with his son. A Danish woman found happiness after a divorce, when she went to live in one of the country’s many living communities. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } And then there are the people in Bhutan who define their country’s well-being by their global happiness index. Or Bushmen in Namibia that still live like the first society of hunters and gatherers, finding contentment in that. And also the people of Ogimi village on Okinawa island in Japan, who find happiness in working the land, in the community, and in recurring social events. These varied examples of individual and communal ways of living in happiness are mixed with interview fragments and archive footage of a wide cast of experts. People like Ed Diener, Daniel Gilbert, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Mihaly Csiskzentmihalyi, Matthieu Ricard, and Nic Marks, explain different topics surrounding happiness. Topics covered include the relation between happiness and wealth, how much of our happiness levels are changeable by intentional activity, the role of happiness hormone dopamine and exercise in our happiness levels, the role of social connections and relationships, and how connecting ourselves to something greater increases our happiness. Why watch it? This documentary is a great ‘introduction’ to many different topics associated with happiness. As such, it could be an excellent film to watch to get an overview of how to approach your happiness practices. The film strikes a right balance between the individual stories of the people that are portrayed and the general information discussed in the interviews. There are interesting and moving moments in the film, especially in the individuals portrayed, that make you think about topics associated with happiness that you might have taken for granted, or have not thought of before. RELATED: Changing the world through art – the Life Cube The documentary is nicely paced, at moments with strong cinematography, and in a great storytelling rhythm, that doesn’t easily get boring. And, ultimately, it's uplifting, which is always great. What else? There's so much more. The Okinawa section of the film connects to the interesting concept of ikigai. The interview segments with Sonja Lyubomirski connect to her book The How of Happiness and its wonderful 12 happiness enhancing strategies. And then there is research by Daniel Gilbert, like Stumbling on Happiness. Also, you might look into the beneficial effects of volunteering on your happiness level, as researched by people like Borgonovi. And, most of the interviewed experts have great TED-talks that explain [parts of] their research and thoughts on happiness. 2. The Happy Film [2016] What's it about? A more sceptical and cynical (but also playful) approach to happiness is found in The Happy Film. World-renowned Austrian designer Stefan Sagmeister tries to redesign his personality to become a happier and better person. The film is divided into three parts, each of which is a one-month experiment with meditation, psychotherapy, and finally, prescription drug therapy, to try and boost his happiness. During his meditation retreat, set in beautiful Bali, Sagmeister complains about back pains and not being able to fully experience the meditation. But he does fall in love with a former student that he meets on the island, and that results in temporary happiness. But the relationship goes sour quickly, and Sagmeister becomes sad again. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } During the therapy sessions, he's confronted with his inability to commit, although he is working through the recent ending of an 11-year relationship. He rekindles an old love in his hometown in Austria, but this relationship quickly ends as well. Then, in the drugs segment, Sagmeister’s happiness levels go through the roof, as he proclaims: “I love pharma”. Although he's monitored by another therapist who warns him against making big life decisions, he falls in love again and even gets engaged with a much younger girl. She allows him to film the rise and fall of their relationship, until at the end of the film he is alone again, not happier. • JOIN US! Learn more about human connection and psychology • All of the parts of the film are intercut with beautifully-filmed designed bits or ‘commercials’ in Sagmeister’s signature style of creating written messages in natural environments, that highlight topics like compassionate vs passionate love, keeping a diary, being more flexible, and doing the things we set out to do. We also see the exhibit The Happy Show that Sagmeister created on the topic of happiness. Why watch it? The Happy Film is the most narrative of the three documents mentioned here. It's first and foremost a story of tongue-in-cheek self-discovery, that might resonate with your quest on finding and maintaining happiness practices. The designed bits create an interesting overall structure and offer moments of contemplation. All in all, it's probably the ‘best’ documentary of the three as a filmic experience. The film is not a guide to happiness, nor promotional in the use of meditation, therapy, or drugs. But it invites us to empathise, to reflect on our own lives, and in its construction offers an interesting double layer in which the concept of happiness is explored, and ‘sold as commodity’ in the art-directed bits. It does make you question the happiness industry, and our – failed attempts in – pursuit of happiness. What else? The experiments with psychotherapy and prescription drugs create interesting connections with research done on their effectiveness. Especially if your pursuit of happiness comes from a clinical condition, these are interesting topics to explore. Sagmeister also gave a TED-talk about happiness. In this talk, he introduces an interesting ‘scale of happiness’: from comfort, through contentment, joy, and delight, to bliss. And, he also talks about the difference between the visualisation of happiness, and happiness itself. All ideas that are food for thought, and worth of further exploration. 3. I Am [2010] I Am is directed by the producer who was also responsible for Happy. Director Tom Shadyac was previously known for Hollywood films like Bruce Almighty, Ace Ventura and The Nutty Professor, but after an accident that took him to the brink of death, he re-evaluated his life and accumulated wealth. This is the starting point of his documentary. Shadyac goes out on a quest to asks two questions: what is wrong with the world? And how can we fix it? In trying to answer these two questions, he touches on a lot of questions also asked in happiness research. The biggest part of the film consists of interviews with thought leaders, philosophers and researchers, on what the purpose of life is and what happiness constitutes. Among the people interviewed are Noam Chomsky, Daniel Quinn, Desmond Tutu, Howard Zinn, Elisabet Sahtouris, and Coleman Barks. “Shadyac goes out on a quest to asks two questions: what is wrong with the world? And how can we fix it?” Topics such as Darwinism, the Western society with its disconnectedness and loneliness, the role of economy, and the question of the human tendency for war are discussed. Ultimately, the film asks how we can lead more loving, more compassionate, more fulfilling lives, in a world in which we are fundamentally all interconnected with each other and with the planet at large. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Why watch it? The message and story of I Am are tremendously feel-good. The moments in which the film examines, backed by the scientists that are interviewed, the interconnectedness of everyone and everything is very interesting. And even a relief in a discussion that is usually put into New Age mumbo-jumbo pseudo-scientific terms, both by people that that adhere to the idea of ‘Gaia’, and people that criticise it. Furthermore, having all these great thinkers – almost a "who’s who" of scientists involved in happiness – in one film, is very inspiring. The ultimate message of the film is of compassion, friendliness, and of love – “humans are hard-wired for cooperation and compassion” – might be cheesy, but that does not make it less true. Also, the documentary gives you food for thought on how you can improve your surroundings, yourself and your own beliefs and your attitude towards others, to be happier. Although there are sequences in the film where the music combined with images of nature and wildlife are a little over-the-top, the film as a whole is very watchable and entertaining. What else? I Am is loaded with inspiring power quotes, like: “When Darwin wrote The Descent of Man, he mentioned survival of the fittest twice, and he mentioned the word love 95 times.” [Marc Ian Barasch]. “The documentary gives you food for thought on how you can improve your surroundings, yourself and your beliefs, and your attitude towards others, to be happier.” Dacher Keltner’s presence could be an interesting starting point to examine the happiness research he and others are doing at the Greater Good Science Center, and to have a look at the excellent free edX course Science of Happiness, that he co-teaches. Elsewhere, Elisabet Sahtouris’ research and ideas on evolutionary biology and futurism are very inspiring. And, Daniel Quinn’s fantastic book Ishmael, that examines the myths at the heart of modern civilisation, and proposes a more sustainable, healthy, and happy alternative, is more than worth exploring. Bonus! 24 hours of Happy by Pharell Williams [2013] What's it about? Not an actual documentary itself, but an interesting project. This is a 24-hour video clip for the song Happy by Pharrell Williams. The videos shows a full day of people lip-synching and happily dancing in different parts of Los Angeles to this infectious song. Each video is a careful orchestration of long-steady cam shots, with the parts of people dancing and singing interwoven with long sequences of people driving in cars, driving on motorcycles, and walking on streets. The people starring in these videos are not models or stars [although a couple of actors and celebrities do make cameos], but of all ages, ethnicities, and types. Altogether, they create a beautiful cross-section of American society and turn this promotional stunt in a reflection on humanity and the joy of singing and dancing. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Why watch it? Unless you have a distaste for William’s song, it's almost impossible not to get infected by the happiness displayed, and the great message of common humanity from having all these different people dancing, expressing themselves. You might even get up at a certain point, and do a little dance yourself! What else? And that is exactly what is worth to explore further. There is a growing body of research that emphasizes the happiness benefit of music. For those of us who, maybe like Sagmeister, get back pains from trying to meditate, dancing now and then might be effective for our happiness levels as well! ● Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.
  17. The discovery of a so-called 'happiness gene' might suggest that happiness is genetic, but as Ed Gould finds out, much more is at play than just our DNA when shaping life satisfaction. Is happiness genetic and could there be a happiness gene? These are long-debated questions, and to answer them, we first need to consider what we define happiness as. According to a 1998 publication by Martin Seligman, one of the chief exponents of positive psychology, positive emotions are what constitute happiness. That would seem to be a reasonable definition of a term which is widely used in psychology and elsewhere but which means differing things to different people. Yes, you can think of happiness as the release of certain endorphins in the body that give us as certain neurological 'hit' – so-called 'happiness hormones', but surely there's more to it than that? What about contentment and the satisfaction that comes from well-being? Don't these count as happiness, too? So, before we start to get into the nitty-gritty of asking 'is happiness genetic?', let's just take Seligman's definition of what happiness is. Even if you think a wider – or, indeed, a narrower – definition will be a truer reflection of happiness, it doesn't mean that the more potent question cannot be asked: is happiness genetic? The factors that make up happiness Think about it for a moment. If creating positive emotions is what happiness is all about, then surely happiness is the outcome of behavioural pursuits? We've already discussed the scientific ways in which people have been shown to be able to increase happiness levels. There are lots of them, after all, anything from building high-quality social relationships to daily exercise has been proven by science to lead to greater well-being. Is happiness genetic? DNA holds some answers. © shutterstock/ktsdesign That said, no one is claiming that it's behaviour alone that leads to greater happiness. Nor would many people in the scientific community claim that any of the behavioural techniques they espouse have a 100 per cent success rate. If you exercise more and practise gratitude in your daily life, then you're likely to feel happier. But you also might not. The environmental factors that surround happiness can only be mitigated for by the things you do. Some people will feel happier than others as a result of their activities. Others might only gain limited results. So, what's going on? Throughout the history of psychology, there has been a long-standing debate about environment factors and innate ones; the so-called 'nature versus nurture' debate. It's still a discussion that is very much alive today, especially when asking if happiness is inherited or not. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } In the genes: do you have happiness in your genetic make-up? These days, most psychologists would agree that in any given situation, both nature and nurture are at play. This appears to be the case with the pursuit of happiness, too. To put it simply, Seligman is right. Positivity – no matter what you do to create it in your life – will make you feel happier. Whether it's the luck of holding down a steady job and not facing significant financial worries, or the chance of enjoying good bodily health, you can make the most of these external factors. Indeed, as we have seen, you can build on them through your own endeavours, too. That's self-nurturing, if you will. Related: Measuring happiness – how and why What's not in your control, of course, is your DNA, your genome and your genetic disposition to happiness. Just as you cannot control the natural pigmentation in your skin, hair and eyes, so you cannot control any aspect of your genes. The questions scientists have posed – is there a happiness gene and 'is happiness genetic?' –have received some important attention. The happiness gene It's a bit of a misnomer, but scientists have already identified the so-called happiness gene. The gene in question is the rather un-catchily titled 5-HTTLPR (so, perhaps its nickname as the 'happiness gene' makes it a little more memorable, at least!). Various studies into the gene have concluded that it does play a big part in how conditions like depression functions within the brain. Not everyone has the same 5-HTTLPR make-up, so, some of the studies – at University College London and elsewhere – have focussed on twins to look at the specifics of this gene compared in people of similar genetic make-ups. This so-called happiness gene has been found to directly impact on serotonin production, the neurotransmitter that has long been known to impact on feelings of both happiness and depression. That said, the work is more focussed on dealing with stress and depression rather than on happiness itself. Is happiness genetic by as much as half? In 2005, Lyubomirsky, Sheldon and Schkade argued that three factors went into determining happiness. Perhaps that's not too controversial because they defined them as circumstances (the environment), intentional activity (the things you do) and a set point (genetics). Happy families? Genetics does play a role © shutterstock/Monkey Business Images What made the lead psychologist in the study, Sonja Lyubomirsky, stand out is that she split these determining factors in proportions of 10 per cent, 40 per cent and 50 per cent, respectively. In other words, she claimed genetics were just as important as everything else put together when it came to happiness. She expanded the idea in her book, The How of Happiness. According to Lyubomirsky, the field data for her assertion came from a 1996 study conducted on twins by Lykken and Tellegen from the University of Minnesota. Whether or not you agree with Lyubomirsky's findings, her ideas have received some academic criticism, most notably due to the fairly small sample used in Lykken and Tellegen's original work. Is happiness genetic if the environment still counts? In a much larger study conducted at the University of Amsterdam, where nearly 300,000 people were involved around the globe, it was found that small variances in DNA methylation were related to happiness. According to the team of researchers, this meant that it's not merely the genetic disposition of the people in the study that was at play. Nor, they discovered, was it just the environment. Rather, they argued that their larger data set showed that it was the interaction between the genetic and the environmental that was responsible for the degree of happiness people felt. Happiness in the jeans, too! What you do affects well-being OK, so this may not be a million miles away from Lyubomirsky's findings. However, the Dutch study demonstrated that it was the complex nature of how the interaction between genes and the environment work that was the key to better understanding of how happiness functions. At least, it showed that people could do more to combat unhappiness by altering their environment and getting on with activities of well-being – even if their genetic predisposition made it harder for them. RELATED: Finding happiness: 11 science-backed ways to increase your well-being So, happiness is genetic – to some degree What Lyubomirsky as well as Meike Bartels and Philipp Koellinger, the leaders of the Dutch research, have shown us is that further work is needed to fully understand the relationship between the environment and the gene. This brings us back to the old 'nature versus nurture' debate. However, we should not give up on thinking that there will never be an answer to the riddle, 'Is happiness genetic?' Bartels and Koellinger used big data analysis techniques from a huge sample – something that was simply not possible a decade or so ago. By analysing larger samples and using the latest artificial intelligence techniques, many scientists believe our understanding of the role of genetics in happiness will improve. According to Daniel Benjamin, a professor of the Center for Economic and Social Research at the University of Southern California, “Genetics is only one factor that influences psychological traits... [such as bipolar disorder and depression]. The environment is at least as important and... [we now know that] it interacts with the genetics.” As such, this fascinating area of scientific research looks set to improve our understanding – not just of happiness but of psychological disorders, too – for years to come. Is happiness genetic? Yes. Is happiness genetic and subject to other determining factors? Yes, that's true as well! ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Depression | Stress management | Music | Choose Happy Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.
  18. Corey Harnish shares his idea of what kindness is, and how you can practise it every day to improve your life and the lives of others. Let’s start this journey with a little self-talk. Do you want to be happy? Yes, right? Do you want others to be happy? Probably yes too, right? Do others want you to be happy? A little hesitation on that one, huh? Maybe even a 'no'? Well, it’s not true! Just like you want others to be happy, they want the same for you. After you read this article, you’ll hopefully be motivated to create a small shift to bring more kindness into your life, and the lives of others. Kindness: it's already within you Over the last 20 years, researchers have been studying what has been termed 'positive psychology,' an analysis of how uplifting emotions like gratitude, love, joy, and inspiration affect our well-being and literally improve our lives. What’s incredible is these emotions are already within us; it’s just a matter of whether or not we take intentional action to express them. One of the easiest ways to do this is through choosing kindness and performing kind acts. Kindness is contagious © Freepik So, what is kindness, anyway? Kindness, put simply, is a positive action that leaves someone in a better situation than before. It doesn’t have to be as extravagant as paying for someone’s surgery or spending hours and hours volunteering. Literally, it can be anything. A smile. Holding the door open for another person. Bringing food to someone. Paying for the person in line behind you. Connecting with a stranger. Saying ‘I love you’ to someone close. RELATED: Random acts of kindness: 22 ideas to spread happiness! Even treating yourself to a night out, getting a pedicure, or a massage are all acts of kindness. Yes, that’s right, you can, and should, be kind to yourself, too! So often we hold back from being kind because we don’t know what to do or we don’t think our actions will make an impact, but they do. The research proves this. What’s important is to just take action, no matter how small. To get you started on practicing kindness, take a look at some awesome ideas from Kindness.org and the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation. Give and receive: practice kindness and you'll benefit too Wow! Kindness is easier than I thought, but what’s the benefit to me? I’m glad you asked. Kindness not only benefits others, but it also improves your life as much or more! The science shows that some of the benefits of kindness are: Improved immune system functioning Decreased stress levels Feelings of meaning and purpose A sense of connectedness RELATED: the power of kindness Super cool, right? Check out these awesome cases of kindness in practice: The Good Cards The Good Cards is a modern-day version of the Pay it Forward movement that uses technology for good. With a mobile app and a physical Good Card, users are able to do good deeds, share their positive stories, and inspire others to join in the action all while being able to track the ripple effect of kindness that happens around the world in a fun and meaningful way. Social Emotional Learning (SEL) Nowadays in schools, a shift in our standardized education has started to incorporate more curricula that addresses emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and positive psychology. By doing this, we are creating micro-habits of kindness with our youth; empowering them to not only be the leaders of tomorrow but to be the ‘Kindness Leaders of tomorrow.’ Rotary International: In over 35,000 communities around the world, Rotary has created a space for neighbours to come together and help their communities flourish. Whether it’s raising funds for a local not-for-profit, doing an environmental cleanup, or engaging students in service learning, Rotary is empowering people globally to be a force for good. OK, I’m ready to put kindness into action! You’re all set. Now you can see how powerful kindness actually is and how simple it is to do. Once you start, you’ll create a ripple effect that’ll inspire people all around you to spread kindness too. Remember with The Good Cards you’ll be able to track that impact as it inspires kindness around the world. Don’t be shy, share with us, what’s one kind act you plan to do today? ● This article from Corey Harnish was originally posted on Linkedin Written by Corey Harnish The poster child of community. Corey is a great listener and huge believer in humanity. Currently the CEO of Better World International a 501c3 tech nonprofit, Corey is leading The Good Cards development; an innovative online-gaming platform and app that engages people worldwide in doing good deeds for happiness and global sustainability. Corey is an AmeriCorps VISTA Alumni, an Honorary Rotarian of Rotary International, as well as a volunteer of Defy Ventures, providing business coaching to EITs (entrepreneurs-in-training), and an active personal life coach. Corey empowers individuals and communities and help them to flourish through personal development coaching and community service involvement. An aspiring Social Justice activist with a passion for community/sustainable development, service learning, juvenile justice rehabilitation, and brain-based coaching.
  19. Rae Bathgate takes a look at a new study focusing around the words associated with happiness. Just what exactly do people relate the word 'happiness' with? The results can teach us how to be more joyful. What does happiness mean to you? Every person is their own world, so every answer is different: you may conjure up a memory, I may think of one person, while some even relate it to a smile or a laugh. But how often does happiness make you think of others? One study asked 521 female participants the following question: what three words come to mind when you think of happiness? While not the most original question, a new study titled “What does happiness prompt in your mind? Culture, word choice, and experienced happiness", conducted between Korea and the United States, shows that it may be worth to sit down and ask ourselves this question more often. The method used in this study was free-association, shown to be an accurate indicator of one’s own self, and in it, evidence surfaced that one type of answer mattered more than others when it comes to happiness. Unsurprisingly, it’s not money, success, fame, glamour, nor is it, sadly, raindrops on roses or warm woollen mittens. Rather, the most revealing words are social words, interpersonal words – in short, those related to other people. Group gains: can friendships boost your happiness? While knowing how often you associate these words with happiness seems to be a telling indicator of how happy you might be, the good news is that you can choose who these other people are (meaning that you can build your own social circle). This phenomenon seems to exist in a positive feedback loop, where fuelling social behaviour – especially helping others – may be the key to a higher life satisfaction. Words associated with happiness The study, conducted by the Yonsei University in Korea and the University of California, Santa Barbara (by researchers Ji-Eun Shin and Eunkook M. Suh, and Kimin Oem and Heejung S. Kim respectively) asked 521 female participants from both countries the following question: “What three words come to mind when you think of happiness?” The test was conducted as a free association task, meaning that subjects were to produce some words (in this case, three) that came to mind related to a prompted cue (in this case, the word “happiness”). Researchers focused on answers they categorised as “social:” These social words, as viewed by the researchers, were ones that simply referred to things like interpersonal relationships. Some examples of the words used were: for abstract values (e.g., “love") specific person (e.g., “friend" or “family") relationships (e.g., “dating”) The ties that bind Out of 1,563 words in total, Koreans wrote down social words more often (42 per cent of the time) as opposed to Americans, who associated social words with happiness only 32 per cent of the time. The most common word among Korean participants was also a social word (“family”) compared to the American words “smile” and “laugh.” Even when looking specifically at Americans’ preferred social words, they tended to be more on chosen social ties, with the words “friends” and “friendship.” This difference between our ideas of happiness is not new and had even been predicted by the researchers. What’s more, the study further mirrored findings that connected loneliness to a lack of family ties in collectivist societies, like in Korea, whereas in America loneliness was more often associated with a lack of friends and confidants. “This phenomenon seems to exist in a positive feedback loop, where fuelling social behaviour – especially helping others – may be the key to a higher life satisfaction.” Rather, the central question to be tested was whether participants who used more social words associated with happiness were, in fact, happier. It turns out the answer is yes. “In both cultures, those who mentioned more social words enjoyed significantly higher life satisfaction,” reported the researchers. This suggests that “defining happiness in social terms is beneficial to happiness in both cultures,” conclude researchers, adding that, “the current finding affirms in a novel way that social experience is indeed a core block of happiness.” RELATED: Money can't buy happiness – except when you spend it like this So, how can we move towards greater social connection (whatever that may mean to you) and consequently, towards a happier life? The answer may be simple. Participants who had a higher incidence of social words and a higher reported level of happiness also reported engaging in activities to help others more often, and previous studies have shown that altruistic activities seem to make us happy. Net gains: group activity, such as fishing, is important While researchers acknowledge that the results of this study are mostly correlative, not causative, they suggest that participating in such activities will start a positive feedback loop, thereby making you happier, teaching you to associate happiness with social connectivity, leading you to seek out and provide social support, causing you to be happier, and so on. Haven't we studied this before? Happiness, its causes, and its components have long been a source of research interest. In academia, there has been extensive documentation and widespread agreement "that positive social experience is one of the most significant predictors of happiness,” as written by Shin, Suh, Oem and Kim. Some researchers even go as far as to suggest that social experience was the only condition for happiness, other than the absence of psychopathology (Diener and Seligman, 2002). “Participants who had a higher incidence of social words and a higher reported level of happiness also reported engaging in activities to help others more often.” Previously used methods have been yes/no questionnaires, or longer, free-form essays; while both accurate to an extent, these methods often proved either too restrictive or not enough so. While seemingly simple, free-association, on the other hand, has yielded powerful results in the world of psychology, proving itself an accurate predictor of personality aspects and demographic characteristics. This, according to researchers, is because, “Words that are called up when we think about happiness are a sort of cognitive 'package,' created based on our upbringing, culture and personal experiences.” Shin, Suh, Oem and Kim’s work also asked participants to report on their level of happiness and social involvement. Global happiness was measured using the most widely used method, the Cantril’s Self-Anchoring Scale, while the rest of the study focused on establishing "the person’s level of interest, desire, and competence for developing a relationship with others,” with concepts like: emotional support belonging loneliness optimism efficacy interpersonal closeness How others make you happier Researchers Shin, Suh, Oem and Kim specify that their study is to be taken as a complement to previous work, noting that the primary objective is to draw a parallel between "beliefs about happiness and how they relate to actual experiences of happiness,” by delving into two countries’ deeply-held beliefs about the subject. So, does linking happiness to social relationships give you a more positive outlook on life? Not necessarily. The study showed that in both ascribed (e.g. “family”) and self-chosen (e.g. “friends”) relationships, there was no difference in optimism by those who used more social words. Better together: social connectivity is one key to happiness However, these subjects reported feeling significantly less lonely, as researchers Shin, Suh, Oem and Kim note: “They believed that their selves overlapped more with others, desired more social belongingness, and presumably as a consequence, were less lonely.” Indeed, this stronger social connection (or, as the researchers put it, the content of happiness) seems to indicate a higher level of happiness: in other words, if your definition of happiness is to spend quality time with others, the chances are that you will be happier. RELATED: Happiness in different cultures This held true for both American and Korean participants, indicating that “holding a socially rich theory of happiness is beneficial to the mental health of both Americans and Koreans,” explain the researchers, who conclude that, “Fulfilment of social need seems to be a universally necessary condition of happiness.” What does it all mean? Social interaction is a tricky thing: for each person, some days and nights lend themselves to picnics, bonfires, dancing and socialising, and days that are fabricated more for some alone time with a book. With their study, Shin, Suh, Oem and Kim aren’t suggesting that the real key to happiness is only through social interaction. Rather, their research supports the idea that those who associate happiness with the notion of strong, reliable social relationships seem to be the happiest. So, how does one change one’s beliefs about what happiness means? Well, apart from continuing to read up on the subject of the key to happiness, you can jump-start a positive feedback loop by engaging in activities that foster strong relationships, preferably ones where you (yes, you!) can help someone else. Cultivating social ties, especially those where you can give back as well are proven to make you happier –or at least, less lonely – which in turn may change your whole perspective on what happiness means. ● Main image: colourbox.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Positive psychology | Life purpose | Motivation Written by Rae Bathgate Rae Bathgate is an American journalist based in Barcelona, where she enjoys sunlight, yoga, and bookbinding.
  20. Many people believe that mindfulness makes us happier. But how does mindful living improve our authenticity (sense of self), or our happiness? New research sheds light on some of these fascinating questions. Does mindfulness really make us happier? If you've been working on living a mindful life, you may instinctively want to answer yes. Perhaps you've reduced the stress in your life, or at least improved your ability to handle it. You may have focused your effort on the things that really matter to you. Or maybe you just feel a greater sense of confidence and comfort in yourself. Although many of us can feel the benefits in our lives, there hasn't been a lot of scientific evidence so far to back up these ideas. However, that's starting to change. New studies are shedding light not only on whether mindfulness affects psychological well-being but also how. Two recent studies from researchers in Australia and the United States have examined the ways in which mindfulness affects our sense of self and behaviour. Both studies provide fascinating insights into the ways in which mindful living can affect fundamental parts of our identity. Mindfulness and sense of self A 2016 study carried out by researchers at the University of Utah investigated the "self-concept clarity" of university students. Self-concept clarity (SCC) is the extent to which an individual has a clear definition of their own beliefs and traits which remain consistent over time. Individuals with high SCC have a strong sense of self – a clear image of who they are. This view isn't necessarily accurate, of course – SCC isn't the same thing as self-knowledge, but it's stable. “The evidence so far suggests that authenticity may be one of the most important connections between mindful living and well-being.” There is an association with high SCC, positive relationships, high self-esteem and a greater sense of independence. Not much is known about where exactly it comes from. However, this study suggests that the connection is with intentional and non-judgmental awareness. In other words, mindfulness. The study revealed that more mindful participants had greater SCC, and that both mindful living and strong sense of self were correlated with psychological well-being. In fact, the relation between a mindful disposition and well-being through SCC was higher than the correlation between mindfulness and well-being alone. The authors of the study conclude that mindful individuals may improve their well-being in several ways. These individuals avoid conflicting self-images, which can lead to distress. They may more frequently identify behaviour that will improve their psychological well-being and sense of self-esteem. Mindfulness and authenticity A second study, conducted by researchers at the National University of Australia and Catholic University of Australia in 2016, shows some results that reveal further information about the connection between mindful living and values-based actions. According to the study, values-based action – action and behaviour consistent with an individual's values and beliefs – are an important part of the relationship between a mindful disposition and psychological well-being. Individuals who were more mindful tended to act more consistently with their own values and therefore tended to be happier. In fact, the researchers found that the connection between mindfulness and well-being through values-based action was much stronger than the direct link. Mindful individuals saw an increase in well-being primarily when they showed authenticity in action. Lesson to learn: authenticity equals happiness! © Ingram Image Psychological well-being Both studies suggest a correlation between mindful individuals and psychological well-being. It's worth taking a moment to examine the concept in a little more detail. Psychological well-being (PWB) basically reflects what we would think of as happiness: an individual's level of satisfaction with various aspects of their life. It's not a simple concept, though. Well-being breaks down into two further categories: hedonic and eudaimonic well-being. Hedonic well-being focuses on experiencing pleasure and avoiding pain. When we're comfortable, well-fed and enjoying ourselves, our sense of hedonic well-being is high. Eudaimonic well-being bases itself more on the happiness that comes from self-actualisation. Our sense of eudaimonic well-being is high when we feel that what we are doing is worthwhile and that we can fulfill our potential. Authenticity of action is vital to this sense of well-being. Relating authenticity and self-image Both studies may show some of the connection between a mindful disposition and well-being. In the University of Utah study, mindful individuals did not suffer from some of the distress that can come from a confused or contradictory sense of self. In fact, they had clearer ideas of who they were. This may have allowed them to select actions and relationships that satisfied their values. In the Australian study, well-being came from authenticity: individuals who acted on their values tended to be happier. “Individuals who were more mindful tended to act more consistently with their own values and therefore tended to be happier.” But, of course, the two are inseparable. A strong sense of self is vital to values-based action, since people with lower self-concept clarity may not even really be sure of their own values. Putting it into practice Of course, these are just two studies, and, as always, further research is needed. But the evidence so far suggests that authenticity may be one of the most important connections between mindful living and well-being. Maintaining a mindful disposition can make us more aware of ourselves and our values, which is vital. But these values won't contribute as much to our well-being unless we put them into action. By identifying what our core beliefs are – what's really important to us – we can identify the actions that we need to carry out to put those beliefs into practice. Hopefully, putting our core beliefs into practice makes the world a better place. But it's also an important part of building our sense of well-being. When we act with authenticity – when we're true to our own sense of self – we develop the habits that contribute to our own happiness. ● Main image: Ingram Image Written by Guest Author We're happy to publish articles by guest authors that will broaden the perspective and bring new insights. If you're interested in publishing an article here on happiness.com, please contact us.
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