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Feeling connected to others in a world that's increasingly individualistic may seem challenging, but as Dee Marques explains, there are some simple intimacy exercises you can use to develop stronger bonds, deepen connections, and improve the quality of your relationships. There's little doubt that humans are social beings. Feeling close to others contributes to our overall feelings of happiness and fulfillment. Indeed, there are plenty of studies that confirm this from a scientific point of view. In fact, scientists believe our brains are hardwired to be social and that our development as a species relied on our ability to maintain strong bonds. But although we live surrounded by people, loneliness and isolation are still some of the biggest social challenges of the 21st century. Indeed, researchers have noted that one can have a wide social network and interact regularly with others and still feel lonely or disconnected. This suggests that intimacy is a key factor in the development of meaningful connections with others. So, here are five easy intimacy exercises that can help deepen the connection you have with your partner and all the other important people in your life. 1. Meditation Meditation is a fabulous tool that can help you achieve greater awareness and connection with the world that surrounds us. Several studies have found that regular meditation practice has a positive effect on close relationships and helps develop a stronger sense of intimacy. According to these studies, there are several reasons why meditation works: first of all, meditation makes us more accepting of our own flaws, so we can easily become more forgiving of others. Secondly, meditation improves our ability to separate thoughts from emotions and makes us less 'reactive', so we can continue working on developing closeness, despite ups and downs in our relationships. Meditation helps deepen connections with others Shou-yi is a lesser-known form of meditation that comes from the Taoist tradition. The name itself means “to embrace the one”, so it's easy to see why this intimacy exercise can help deepen a connection with others. Shou-yi brings to the forefront of your mind the fact that in one way or another, we are all interconnected and interdependent. This technique is also known as “quiet sitting” and involves contemplative meditation based on Taoist philosophy: Sit down with your back straight Visualise the five 'yin organs', or bodily parts where energy resides: the liver, heart, spleen, lungs and kidneys. This could be compared to a body scan meditation, where you focus on one body part at the time Each yin organ has a colour associated to it. Liver is azure, the heart is a vivid red, the spleen is yellow, lungs are white and kidneys are dark blue. Focus on the relevant colour as you move through each body part According to Taoist scriptures, these colours also correspond to the five elements: wood (azure), fire (red), earth (yellow), metal (white) and water (dark blue) Visualize the flow between body parts, colours and elements The goal of this technique is to achieve a deep insight into oneness and bring a deep sense of harmony between humans, the earth and the cosmos. Once you are in the 'oneness mindset', it becomes easier to look at the forest instead of getting distracted by the trees (other people’s habits and traits that bother us). After all, there is a reason why Taoist philosophy has been used for peacebuilding and conflict management purposes. 2. Loving-kindness meditation A second intimacy exercise to help deepen connection is loving-kindness meditation (LKM). The ultimate goal of LKM is to strengthen compassion, love and appreciation for other beings, so it's an ideal technique to improve intimacy. RELATED: How to Improve Intimacy – 9 Techniques to Try A study of people who practised loving-kindness meditation for six weeks showed a reduction in the negativity levels of their relationships. Furthermore, participants reported having a stronger support network and felt increased happiness. The technique is also simple: Find a quiet space and choose a comfortable position Create a mantra, which should include good wishes towards others (for example: "May I be happy, healthy and free from harm. May you be happy, healthy and free from harm") Repeat the mantra in six stages: first direct it towards yourself, next towards someone who has had a positive effect in your life, then towards a relative or friend, next towards someone you feel neutral or have an occasional conflict with, then towards someone you dislike, and lastly, towards all beings While you repeat the mantra, picture those good wishes physically going from you to other people Here's another example of a loving kindness meditation by Jack Kornfield 3. Gratitude The third exercise is writing gratitude letters. Letting people know we value them and care for them can improve our relationship with others, since we become more likely to overlook people’s flaws, lessening any chance of conflict and helping us achieve a better appreciation of other people’s value. Gratitude letters can deepen connection because our feelings of gratitude are directly shown to the other person. This intimacy exercise has a strong impact on the quality of the relationship, as well as a lasting effect that can span several weeks, as shown by studies at the University of Pennsylvania. Even if you don't send the letter, putting your gratitude in writing makes you more aware of your positive emotions and is bound to make you feel closer to others. “Writing gratitude letters as an intimacy exercise can deepen connection because our feelings of gratitude are directly shown to the other person.” Gratitude letters work because when we direct our attention to gratefulness, we automatically divert it from toxic or negative emotions. And as some researchers have found, the benefits multiply over time, since cultivating an ongoing gratitude practice causes changes in brain activity in areas related to decision-making, meaning that there is a link between gratitude feelings and how we act towards others. Say thanks: gratitude letters are a great intimacy exercise 4. Getting to know you exercise The fourth method on deepening connections is a 36-question exercise that you can use to understand others better and get a better picture of who they truly are. For this intimacy exercise, you'll need to set at least 45 minutes aside and take turns asking the questions that you can find here. RELATED: 6 Types of Intimacy And How to Cultivate Them Research at US universities has shown that this exercise is effective in helping deepen connection and closeness between people. This is because the exercise relies on mutual self-disclosure as opposed to small talk. Furthermore, it requires both sides to open up, providing a safe environment where there's no fear of feeling vulnerable or one-sided. 5. Mindful listening Devoting time to properly listening to others (instead of simply exchanging views or acknowledging information) is one of the best ways of showing we care for them. Mindful listening is an intimacy exercise that can also help increase empathy, because in doing so we get to understand better other people’s motives, needs and fears, gaining a more accurate picture of who they are as human beings. “Meditation practice has a positive effect on close relationships and helps develop a stronger sense of intimacy.” So, next time you have a conversation with a partner or friend, focus on what they're saying without judging or interrupting, and do your best to be present in the moment, being supportive and receptive. It's also useful to have some guidelines in mind: Suspend assumptions Suspend judgement Suspend status (communicate on an equal-to-equal basis) Honour confidentiality Honour silence Deep listening works because by not being judgmental and overlooking differences in opinion, others feel more inclined to trust us. Overall, mindful listening improves the quality of our relationships and sets a solid foundation for authentic interpersonal encounters. Listen and learn: deep listening equals deeper connections The benefits of deeper intimacy We live in a society that's increasingly individualistic, so it's always good to remember the benefits of crafting a deeper connection with others and of cultivating intimacy in relationships. The benefits are both physical and emotional: being able to connect with others at a deeper level generates empathy, which has been proven to give a sense of purpose and to strengthen the immune system. Other studies show that stronger connectedness with others is a key component of our support system, can lower stress and anxiety levels, and has been linked to lower heart disease rates. Of course, lasting closeness, intimacy and loyalty will not come automatically. There is no magic pill when it comes to deepening your connection with others, but the five intimacy exercises we have discussed here are a good starting point that can help your enjoy richer and more meaningful relationships. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Relationship advice | Communication skills | Learning Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

The final month of the year is a time for happiness, hope and reflection on the 12 months that have just passed. In his final installment for the year, here are Ed Gould's Top 10 positive news stories from December... 1. US takes a big step for a renewable energy future The United States may be seen on the international stage as a country that's not fully lined up with climate change policies, but that hasn't stopped the country from announcing its largest federal wind farm plans. No less than 390,000 acres of government waters are to be set aside for wind turbines close to the coast of Rhode Island. Several energy companies will now bid for the right to use the area for sustainable energy production. The deal has been reported to be worth an astonishing $405 million. 2. Mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) can help back pain Scientific research published in the Journal of the American Medical Association has made the claim that MBSR can help the body handle a range of pain symptoms including those that impact on the lower back. The study involved eight two-hour sessions per week. As a result of following an MBSR programme, around 60 per cent of participants found that they gained some relief from the pain they'd been feeling. MBSR can help back pain © shutterstock/F8 studio 3. University of New South Wales develops winning solar car While car makers the world over are offering hope of a fossil fuel free future with the development of electric car technology, student designs are continuing to break new ground. A team from the University of New South Wales set a world record for their solar-powered car for driving across the country with the lowest ever use of energy. The university reported in December that its team had covered the 4,100km trip without any problems, even arriving in Sydney two days ahead of schedule! 4. Scientists develop anti-cancer spray In news that made headlines around the globe, research undertaken at UCLA in California has led to the development of a treatment which is applied to cancer sufferers post surgery. When a tumour is removed by a surgical procedure, all too often there can be a recurrence of the condition. Now, a biodegradable gel has been made which, in tests, has shown to reduce the risk of post-operative complications. It's simply sprayed on and helps to boost the body's own immune system. 5. Yoga's benefits for older people to be studied According to associate professor of Exercise and Health Sciences, Garry Tew, at Northumbria University, yoga has many benefits for older people. They include better strength, flexibility, balance, and the overall happiness one feels due to improved quality of life. In order to prove it, Tew's team of researchers have secured funding worth £1.4 million, which will allow them to probe further into yoga's impact on those suffering from long-term conditions into older age. It's hoped the research will help to save the UK's National Health Service money in the long run. Yoga has lots of benefits for seniors © shutterstock/vectorfusionart 6. Plastic bag usage drops dramatically in Australia It's one of those things that is so easily done: turning up at the shop to buy groceries without bags to take them home in. To encourage shoppers to consume fewer bags, two large supermarket chains in Australia banned single-use plastic bags. In positive news for the environment, it was announced in December that the use of such bags had dropped by 80 per cent across the country over the last quarter. In fact, the country's National Retail Association said that in some areas of Australia, use of these bags had by up to 90 per cent in that time period. 7. Shrinkable technology may be with us soon Research undertaken at MIT in Boston has moved into the realm of science fiction after academics there announced they were working on systems which could reduce objects to a thousandth of their original size. Lasers are used to shrink items down to what's known as the nanoscale and it's hoped that there will be many industrial applications for the technique. Likely ones include several medical techniques which could be used in the brain without surgery, and even in areas like DNA therapy. 8. Mindfulness may help boost weight loss The widely respected Nursing Times reported in December that adopting mindfulness techniques could help a range of public health programmes that focus on weight loss. Ongoing research is being undertaken in the UK by the Warwickshire Institute for the Study of Diabetes Endocrinology and Metabolism, as well as at the University of Warwick. It aims to augment weight loss programmes in the UK with elements of mindfulness, so that people undergoing them are able to manage their conduct in improved ways. Mindfulness could help weight loss 9. Shipping company commits to a carbon-free future The world's biggest shipping company, Maersk, says it wants the whole industry to go carbon-free. According to CNN, the freight business is aiming to stop using unsustainable fuels by 2050. The CEO of Maersk, Soren Toft, has called on competitors in the sector to make similar changes. The shipping industry currently accounts for about the same level of carbon release from its fuel usage as the international aviation sector. 10. Free public transportation for all in Luxembourg In a world's first, the Benelux country of Luxembourg has announced that it will provide public transport without any cost throughout the entire state. As reported in The Guardian, the country's authorities hope the decision will help in the fight against global warming as well as being a positive way to improve air quality and to reduce congestion. Charges for using trains, trams and buses will all be done away with by the summer of 2019 under the scheme. ● Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's also a practitioner of Reiki.

Does the freedom to disregard the conventional relationship norms and craft relationships on one’s own terms result in increased happiness? Sonia Vadlamani explains what relationship anarchy entails, and how its tenets may help people be happier in their relationships. It is safe to say that most of us have heard of polyamory, and some of us even have at least one friend or acquaintance who is in an ‘open relationship’. Indeed, we’re witnessing the rise of ethical non-monogamy, as multi-partner relationships are finding their way into the mainstream in the form of polyamory, open relationships, relationship anarchy, etc. Despite these changes, a monogamous relationship is still the most common relationship model, in addition to being the one with highest societal recognition as well. However, today we find more and more people abandoning the conventional relationship structure of monogamy to embrace more open relationship models. A 2017 survey conducted on a representative sample of 2003 Canadian adults revealed that one in five adults had engaged in an open relationship at some point. And a 2020 poll found that around one third of Americans consider their ideal relationship to be non-monogamous to some degree. The traditional relationship hierarchy prioritizes family the most, which includes the family of origin (i.e., parents, siblings etc.) and forming family systems with spouse or romantic partner and children. While some of the forms of ethical non-monogamy or ENM still involve certain structures or prioritized partners, relationship anarchy (RA) disregards the conventional hierarchies altogether, thus relinquishing any imposed expectations. RELATED: Why is Family Important For Happiness? Amy Gahran, writer and author of Off the Relationship Escalator, describes the societal pressure to adhere to monogamous relationships as a relationship escalator. “My approach to life and love is to have as many strong, healthy connections and interconnections as I can feasibly support,” says Gahran, who portrays parting from the monogamous relationship model as ‘stepping off the relationship escalator’ in order to be able to derive more from one’s relationships. Relationship anarchists believe that love is abundant shutterstock.com/dekazigzag Whether you’re happy in your relationships without hierarchy or are happily monogamous yet enjoy and value intimate friendships in consensus with your partner, aspects of relationship anarchy can potentially transform your relationships for the better. So, what is relationship anarchy exactly? Coined by Swedish feminist Andie Nordgren in 2016, relationship anarchy (RA) assigns no specific importance to one relationship over another, and thus shuns hierarchies created by societal conventions. Relationship anarchists refrain from assigning different values to their relationships as per the prescribed norms. For example, a sexual relationship does not hold necessarily priority over an intimate friendship for those practising relationship anarchy. Instead of attempting to rank and prioritize the people and relationships in one’s life, Nordgren recommends that you “cherish the individual and your connection to them.” Indeed, research reveals that high quality relationships as the key to a good life, and RA can prove to be the chosen medium for forming fulfilling relationships for some. “As long as you are questioning the status quo, examining your values, and communicating your needs, it is possible to build a radical relationship anarchist life,” reasons Dedekar Winston, a relationship coach who also co-hosts the podcast Multiamory. “Relationship anarchy assigns no specific importance to one relationship over another, and thus shuns hierarchies created by societal conventions.” Relationship anarchy is still in its early emergence phase, and overall, there are several loopholes and misconceptions associated with the ENM relationship models. Nevertheless, even as someone happily in a monogamous relationship, I do find we could all learn a great deal from the tenets of RA, so we could devise fulfilling and successful relationships for ourselves. The RA manifesto Nordgren put forth an instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy in 2006, to serve as a guide for those who already are in relationship structure like RA or aspire to be relationship anarchists: 1. Love is abundant, and every relationship is unique RA challenges the belief that love is a limited resource, and valid only when shared between a couple. We are capable of loving different people, and the love shared in one relationship does not automatically challenge or weaken the love we feel in another relationship that we cherish. Relationship anarchy emphasizes on the love and connection experienced between the two (or more) parties in each unique relationship, instead of comparing or ranking different relationships. 2. Love and respect instead of entitlement Relationship anarchy grants autonomy to every individual in a relationship, where boundaries, personal beliefs and values are meant to be respected. Instead of viewing relationships as grounds to control or command others, RA deems mutual respect and healthy boundaries as the foundation for a happy relationship. 3. Find your core set of relationship values Since RA is based on mutual trust and respect for boundaries, it is essential to define your core values to be able to clearly formulate your needs and expectations in all your relationships. Self-reflection can help you determine your boundaries, motivation and fears. Focusing on these core relationship values with assertiveness will can help you cultivate fulfilling relationships. RELATED: What Is a Situationship? Here Are the 6 Signs You're In One 4. Heterosexism is rampant and out there, but don’t let fear lead you While relationship anarchy does question the normative relationship structures, it is important to remember than heterosexism is still largely prevalent, and continues to dictate what is a moral, correct and acceptable form of love. It is our duty to question and break these conventional gender-based molds and set our own expectations and boundaries for all our relationships. 5. Build for the lovely and unexpected RA emphasizes on the freedom to be spontaneous and express one’s wishes and desires without judgment or the fear of punishment based on ‘should’s and ‘ought-to’s. Indeed, staying curious in life, and introducing some play can improve the quality of relationships and make people happier. 6. Fake it til’ you make it Challenging the conventional relationship structures like monogamy and other heterosexist norms could seem like an uphill task sometimes. Instead of reproaching themselves for choosing relationship anarchy during such adverse times, one needs to push through and stick to the guidelines they defined for their relationships. Seeking support from others who are in norm-challenging relationships can help reinforce your resolve and adapt better. 7. Trust is better It is normal for trust issues to crop up sometimes in relationships, but we can avoid taking a skeptical approach and try dealing with the same through positive communication and persistence. Choose to trust that your partner wants the best outcomes for you in the same way that you wish for them. Cultivate a supportive environment where it is possible to overcome fear of abandonment and other validation-seeking behaviors, with an aim to develop a more secure attachment style. Cultivating trust is essential in relationship anarchy 8. Change through communication It is ideal to find realistic and healthy ways to answer issues which may sometimes occur in your relationship, like jealousy or emotional dependency. Communication could be the key, and thus an objective and non-judgmental discussion about the underlying issues or feelings can go a long way to strengthen the relationship. 9. Customize your commitments As Nordgren puts it, RA “is not about never committing to anything – it’s about designing your own commitments with the people around you”. Whether you wish to raise children, grow old together or enter into a marriage, relationship anarchy offers freedom to define your core values, needs and expectations and match the same with your partner so that you can construct and lead a content and meaningful life together. Is RA the same as polyamory? Also a form of ENM, polyamory refers to relationships wherein people consent to have more than one romantic or sexual partner at a given time. Informed consent is differentiating factor here, as its absence would deem it ‘cheating’ or unethical non-monogamy. RELATED: What is Omnisexuality? Understanding and Debunking Myths However, polyamory is not synonymous with relationship anarchy. While people in polyamorous relationships do prioritize some relationships over another, RA aims to entirely dismiss pre-defined boundaries and hierarchies, while offering full freedom to the partners in the relationships to customize and communicate their own boundaries and prioritize all relationships alike. “Relationship anarchists refrain from assigning different values to their relationships as per the prescribed norms.” Interestingly, monogamous couple can decide to be relationship anarchists as well, by deciding to not abandon their friendships and other platonic associations that they value. As Winston puts it, one can be “sexually or emotionally monogamous with a particular person and still be a practicing relationship anarchist”. Of course, determining their core values and communicating the same to their partner is key for any fulfilling relationship. Takeaway: relationship anarchy While it’s mistakenly thought of as a reckless indulgence, or sometimes branded as the unwillingness to commit to a relationship, relationship anarchy can be best defined as a conscious, self-led approach towards what you and your partner(s) seek from a relationship. Indeed, designing your relationships as per your needs and expectations instead of societal pressure can entail a great deal of effort, maturity and trust. Relationship anarchy relies strongly on understanding oneself deeply, listening mindfully with empathy, and the ability to communicate one’s needs clearly. But then, so do most successful relationships, regardless of the relationship structure they may be based on. • Main image: shutterstock.com/Carlos Olivera Does relationship anarchy appeal to you or it something you would never consider? Share your thoughts in the comments below! Subject got you interested? Then chat with other members in our relationships forum. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Trust | Deep listening | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

We often forget to be kind to ourselves, but being good to yourself is essential says psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović. Discover eight self-love techniques – such as forgiveness and setting boundaries – and improve your emotional well-being. 'Please be good to yourself' is something we would like to say to our loved ones when we witness them beating themselves up. Yet, we rarely take our own advice. Unlike compassion, self-kindness often feels unnatural. In today’s society of achievements, we succumb to rationing self-love as if it were something that needs to be painstakingly deserved. However, it is not. Self-love is dynamic and expands as we grow psychologically. It is not something that you can attain through a makeover, inspirational read, career achievements, or a new relationship. It is not simply feeling good or motivated to take on the world. It is knowing and accepting yourself, being comfortable with who you are. Being good to yourself means being autonomous and centred in your life purpose and values. This article will explore the science behind self-love and self-kindness, and give you eight research-based tips on how to be good to yourself. Why being good to yourself is essential Being good to yourself is a foundational tenet of many psychological interventions. The reason? It is an essential ingredient of well-being. Through self-love, both our minds and our bodies can function optimally. For a long time, researchers and practitioners were aware of the effects of self-kindness on psychological and physical health. A recent study revealed the mechanism behind its benefits. Being good to oneself switches off our threat response, calms our heart rate, and, overall, enables us to respond flexibly to situations. Be good to yourself: self-love is essential for well-being shutterstock/kues The threat (or, the fight or flight) response to stressful situations is adaptive to a point. However, for a modern human, on most occasions, this reaction is overly intensive. After all, there isn’t a prehistoric carnivore chasing us. So, consistently practising self-love and managing to switch this extreme automatic reaction off boosts our immune system. By doing so, we give ourselves the best chance of healing and prospering. Be good to yourself: 8 self-love techniques For the majority of people, the habit of being unconstructively self-critical is deeply engrained in their psyche. Most of us expect to see results (educational, professional, or social achievements) before we can begin to love ourselves. So, being good to yourself probably won’t become your default state of mind on its own. You need to commit to practising it. Here are eight techniques you can easily incorporate into your life. Try them and hopefully you will start to see a difference. 1. Practise mindfulness Even though it’s not a panacea, mindfulness remains at the top of the list of beneficial techniques in a variety of situations. It teaches us to observe our inner world without judgement. If you want to be good to yourself, fist yu need to accept whatever it may be that you’re feeling or thinking. Mindfulness gives us the necessary self-esteem and unconditional self-acceptance we need to feel comfortable with ourselves. 2. Be honest about your weaknesses Not being perfect stings. We know. We all have an image of the ideal self in our heads. Looking at the discrepancy between who we are and who we want to be is unpleasant at the very least. Nonetheless, to be good to yourself doesn’t mean lying, flattering, or turning a blind eye to your shortcomings. Self-love means not bashing yourself over your flaws. It means building a healthier response to your failures and imperfections. Accepting that you’re not impeccable will gradually lead you to a realistic image of your self-worth. 3. Speak sincere words of self-acceptance Once you’ve brought your weaknesses and emotions to the light of the day through being mindful and truthful, you can begin to shift your attitude. When you ignore or deny your limitations, you are giving the power away. Because you don’t want that, it’s time to come up with affirmations that will resonate with your true self. “'Be good to yourself' is much more than a phrase. It is a foundational tenet of many psychological interventions.” For example, you might be facing a difficult task. Trying to convince yourself that the idea of giving up does not tempt you probably won’t work. Instead, you could try saying: “Even though this feels hard, I will be gentle with myself and simply do my best”. If you’re struggling with creating your genuine self-love statements, try thinking about what you would need to hear from someone else. What kind of supportive sentence would you believe in? 4. Forgive and self-forgive Forgiveness liberates. It’s a pearl of ancient wisdom with strong support in modern-day research. An extensive review of studies on forgiveness found that if we find it in ourselves to replace the unforgiving emotions with empathy and compassion, our bodies and minds heal. Letting go of resentment means to be good to yourself. And what about self-forgiveness? When you forgive yourself, you open the doors to growing as a person. Whether you’re feeling guilty for hurting another, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or for holding on to unhealthy habits, let go of self-hate. Forgiving yourself frees you from unconstructive self-condemnation. 5. Know your values To be good to yourself means more than self-acceptance and self-forgiveness. It means working towards fulfilling your purpose as well. Once you’ve come to peace with who you are and abandoned self-loathing, the need to realise your potentials will naturally come to the front. Forgiveness is a big part of self-love and being good to yourself shutterstock/HBRH This is when you need to be clear on what your core values are. You can try one of the life coaching tools freely available such as the “What I really value in life” or “Values and purpose” exercise to help you define what it is that moves you. 6. Practise good self-care Self-love and good self-care are closely connected. You are more likely to make healthy lifestyle choices when you’re happy with yourself and your life. This association can also work the other way round. If you commit to taking good care of yourself, you will build the basis for loving yourself more. Be good to yourself, eat healthily, exercise, sleep better, surround yourself with well-minded people, and pursue interests. But remember, it’s also very important not to be harsh on yourself when you fail to do those things. Being a perfectionist will only cause you to beat yourself up, instead of making you feel good. 7. Stop comparing yourself In the age of social media and all-around self-promotion, our natural inclination to compare ourselves to others has become enormously amplified. We all know that people carefully edit what they display online (and in person, for that matter). Nonetheless, we are still affected by the contrast between our real lives and what we see out there. “'Being good to yourself probably won't become your default state of mind on its own. You need to commit to practising it.” Comparing yourself to others can make you vulnerable to anxiety, low self-esteem and depression. So, stop doing it. Spend your energy on living intentionally instead. 8. Set boundaries We all do it sometimes – we bend over backwards. We do it for our career, friends, family, or simply because we were raised to do so. Although it is praiseworthy to be selfless, the truth is – you cannot live a healthy life without healthy limits. Well-being depends on feeling like you’re in control and being assertive (among other things, of course). Therefore, you cannot keep pulling out all your stops for every single person or project. You need to set boundaries and protect your integrity. The takeaway: make loving yourself a lifelong romance! As you might have noticed, we’re not proposing narcissistic self-love based on a delusory image of your saint-like grandness — quite the opposite. The foundation of self-love is authenticity. So, to love yourself, know yourself. Accept, do not judge - but always seek ways to grow and improve. Be kind and forgiving to yourself. Live a life that is in line with your values and work towards your ideal self. In that way, self-love becomes the spring from which your contribution to the world will flow. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online Academy classes Healthy habits | Self care | Quality time Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

There have been plenty of feel-good health and environmental stories in the press during March. Ed Gould rounds up his Top Ten from the past month to uplift and inspire. March was a time of great hopefulness in many parts of the world as some semblance of normality began to emerge for the first time in months. That said, the headlines still tended to be dominated by international frictions, disease and unrest. Of course, there were plenty of good news stories that didn't get the attention they deserved, too. So, what were some of the best? 1. Cheetahs to be reintroduced to India It's about 70 years since cheetahs were last found roaming Asia. Since then, the big cat has been only found in Africa. However, conservationists are turning the tide for the creature as six sites – including the Shergarh Wildlife Sanctuary in Rajasthan and the Gandhi Sagar Wildlife Sanctuary – have been identified as being suitable for them. According to the Indian Express, two teams of wildlife experts, one in South Africa and one in Namibia, will choose cheetahs for the project which, it's hoped, will help to ensure their long-term survival. 2. Birdsong will make you happier, according to science It may sound obvious, but being in close proximity to birds – particularly hearing them sing – has been shown to induce states of happiness in people. As reported by Yahoo! Life, the German Centre for Integrative Biodiversity Researchers set out to determine whether it was really true that birds make people feel happier. They discovered that all types of birdlife are able to increase the life satisfaction of people. In fact, they even put a value on it – the researchers say it raises joy levels so much that it's the equivalent of being given around £100 per week! Bird song gives you a boost shutterstock/AlekseyKarpenko 3. Cannabis extract may help Alzheimer's sufferers Scientists in the USA have been working on the cannabis extract known as CBD. During their experiments on mice, they found that exposure to the naturally produced substance had a beneficial effect on cognition. They now suggest that a two-week course of CBD among humans could help to improve the brain function of people who have an inherited form of Alzheimer's disease. According to the research, which was carried out at the Medical College of Georgia at Augusta University, CBD promotes the growth of proteins that help to consume dead brain cells. RELATED: How to talk to a parent with dementia 4. Damaged motor neurons can be treated with new compound Another medical breakthrough was reported in various media outlets in March. This one focussed on amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, otherwise known as ALS. The condition often leads to a loss of control in movement as the degenerative disorder worsens over time. However, scientists now think that a new compound, known as NU-9, can repair damaged motor neurons in the brain. It could offer patients the chance of a treatment pathway in the future. 5. Coral reefs around Fiji make a better than expected comeback When many of the beautiful coral reefs around the island nation of Fiji were destroyed following a powerful cyclone, some people thought they might take decades to recover. However, according to a report in the Guardian, marine scientists have found that the reefs are once more looking vibrant and teeming with life. Fiji's coral reefs have come alive again shutterstock/stockphoto-graf A tropical cyclone named Winston struck in 2016 leaving many Fijian corals looking like rubble. The Wildlife Conservation Society has been monitoring the situation since then and said that it has been truly surprised at how the reefs had recovered. Part of the success has been down to the way in which the society has created no-fishing areas to help preserve the reefs, something it did in tandem with local communities. 6. Chimpanzees use Zoom to stay social During the pandemic, many people have learned to turn to technology to keep their social lives going. However, it' not just humans who are making increased use of video conference calling. In the Czech Republic, zookeepers have been setting up Zoom calls between chimpanzees in different locations. A report in USA Today stated that a safari park in the northern town of Dvur Kralove had started using the technology to enrich the lives of its six chimps by allowing them to see other primates in a zoo located miles away. 7. Mindfulness found to be useful for dealing with pandemic anxiety There can be little doubt that the last 12 months or so have been a more worrying time than usual. Indeed, vast swathes of the world's population have suffered from fear and anxiety relating to the pandemic. However, a recently published paper suggests that these worries can be alleviated by practising mindfulness. Of course, mindfulness techniques are already well-known for the beneficial mental states that they help to bring about. This study, published in the academic journal Global Advances in Health and Medicine, is the first to suggest it also works for pandemic-induced fears. Over 200 volunteers took part in the clinical trial. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged 8. Rare toad bred for the first time in Manchester Scientists at the Manchester Museum announced they had been able to successfully breed the endangered harlequin toad in a global first. Native to Central America, the toad is so-called for its bright yellow and black markings. After six of the creatures were brought to the UK in 2018, no breeding has occurred. The beautifully-marked harlequin toad shutterstock/goran_safarek However, by replicating the humidity, lighting and water flow of their natural environment, the team was able to see tadpoles successfully developing for the first time. The breeding programme was a culmination of three years of sustained work, according to a report in the Guardian. 9. 3D printing to be used for a school in a global first A site in southern Madagascar has been set aside for a new school. Incredibly, the difference with this project is that a non-profit NGO will be building it using only 3D printed construction materials. In an effort to show how sustainable such buildings can be, Thinking Huts will deliver the design of the school faster and more sustainably than would otherwise be possible. The NGO stated that the method would mean schools of this type could be built in less than a week – including the foundations, electrical works and plumbing. It's hoped that this process will become the norm in parts of the world where more educational establishments are needed. 10. Electronic waste is beginning to decline For decades, people have been producing more and more electronic waste. All sorts of appliances are scrapped and head to landfill sites rather than being recycled each year. However, according to Recycling Today, the tide may be turning. This is because a research team from Yale and the Rochester Institute of Technology have discovered that the amount of electronic waste that is currently being produced is in decline for the first time. Of course, humans are still making such waste but now at a slower rate thanks to increased product longevity and improved recycling opportunities. • Main image: shutterstock/Romolo Tavani happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Nature | Positive news | Biology | Biotechnology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

The ancient art of sound bathing is growing increasingly popular. Meditation teacher Ann Vrlak explores the benefits of sound bath meditation – from reduced depression, anxiety and pain, to an enhanced sense of spirituality. Have you heard about sound baths or sound bathing? These are actually new terms for an ancient practice. For many hundreds of years, in various cultures, sound bathing has been part of meditation practice and healing – in some places, since the 5th century! And in Australia, aboriginal tribes have employed the didgeridoo as a sound healing instrument for over 40,000 years. What is a sound bath? In a traditional practice, you would be lying down in yoga corpse pose, for half an hour up to a couple of hours, as the sound bath being created around you relaxed your mind and body, and led you into a meditation. Indeed, just as the name suggests, a sound bath fills the room with sound and envelops the listeners. In fact, it’s quite an intense experience. And, if you’re someone who finds it difficult to meditate, sound bathing may be a great way for you to settle into the practice more easily. Sound bathing encourages a calming, meditative state Is sound bathing like listening to music? So, how does a sound bath differ from listening to relaxing music, for example? The difference is there in the name: it’s a sound bath, not a music bath. The sounds that are used in this kind of practice are usually singular tones produced by instruments such as crystal bowls, gongs or bells. These specialized instruments are used because the sounds they emanate invoke deep relaxation and meditative states. Sound bathing is not about melody, but about the physical vibration of sound itself. The instruments are most often played in a way that produces deep, resonating tones that overlap each other. This creates a powerful field of vibration that is felt in body, mind and spirit – much in the same way that mantras do. RELATED: What is Vedic Meditation? The Mantras You Need To Know In many meditation traditions, sound is considered to be the most primordial and dynamic element in our universe. 'OM', the universal mantra, is said to be the sound of the universe itself, and its repetition will give you an increasing feeling of harmony and connection with all things that vibrate at its frequency. Whether you experience this kind of profound experience or not, the repetition of mantra, as well as sound bathing, encourages your mind to unwind by activating a deep relaxation response in your nervous system. Sound bath benefits: the sound of the gong invokes deep relaxation What’s a sound bath like? I mentioned earlier that sound baths are traditionally part of a meditation practice. It is a tool to relax body and mind, so you are more receptive to a meditative state. Today, sound bath events or sessions are used just as often solely for their relaxation benefits. Whether people come for a spiritual or relaxation experience, sound baths are extremely popular in many places. Furthermore, sound baths are also used as therapeutic tools to heal physical and psychological illnesses. In fact, I was very lucky to experience a healing treatment myself a few years ago that involved the placement of crystal bowls on my chest that were “sung” by the therapist. At the time I thought, “This is what a cello feels like. “Sound baths are traditionally part of a meditation practice. It is a tool to relax body and mind, so you are more receptive to a meditative state.” The sound vibrations reverberated through my body and created a deeply meditative, thought-free and pain-free state. I’ve never heard of this kind of treatment since – though I would go again in a second if I had the chance! For most of us, here is the kind of simple format you can expect at a sound bath event: participants lie down on their backs on a yoga mat, with blankets and pillows available. The sessions are usually conducted in a similar way to a yoga class, with several other people in the room. The therapist then begins the sound bath. They use one or more instruments to create the series of overlapping tones, from deep low tones on a large crystal bowl, for example, to high sparkling sounds like a small chime. The sound bathing usually begins quietly with frequent silences and grows in complexity and layering. The instruments create sounds that resonate and sustain for long periods, until they disappear into silence. RELATED: The Power of Silence: 10 Benefits of Cultivating Peace and Quiet 5 Skills You'll Learn Through Meditation Body Scan Meditation Script: Discover the Benefits Sound bathing can offer some people easier access to meditation. Following the sound into silence eases your attention away from your mind, into your body and into sound – and ultimately, the silence between sounds. If there is a guided meditation component to the session, the therapist leads you through the meditation while the sound continues. If there is no guided meditation in your session, you simply let your attention rest in the physical sensations of the sound in your body and enjoy. Bowls are key components of sound baths The benefits of sound baths When you have a sound bath, you receive many of the same benefits as you'd get from a regular meditation session: Reduced anxiety and depression Activation of your body’s relaxation mechanisms Better focus and concentration Promotion of good mental health Enhanced self-awareness Better sleep Plus, you can enjoy other benefits, like: The ability I touched upon earlier to move more easily into quieter, meditative states of mind Lowered blood pressure Relief of physical pain In terms of the science behind the practice of sound bathing, research studies into its potential benefits are few and far between. However, a 2017 study from the University of California did show that Tibetan singing bowl meditation had a positive effect on participants' mood, anxiety, pain and spiritual well-being. The study consisted of 62 participants. Compared with pre-meditation, following the sound meditation participants reported significantly reduced anger, tension, fatigue and depressive mood. Additionally, those who were previously naïve to this type of sound meditation experienced a significantly greater reduction in tension compared with participants who were experienced in this sound meditation. What's more, the feeling of spiritual well-being significantly increased across all participants. ““Sound bathing is not about melody, but about the physical vibration of sound itself. The instruments are played in a way that produces deep, resonating tones. This creates a powerful field of vibration that is felt in body, mind and spirit.” The results of this study may point to why the practice of sound bathing has a respected place at the heart of many meditation traditions. Want to try sound bathing? Sound bathing is an increasingly popular practice, so hopefully you can find a practitioner near you through a simple web search. If you can't currently enjoy an in-person class, you can manage to experience a sound bath for yourself, thanks to the internet. One group offers virtual sound baths. And you can take a three-hour (!) crystal bowl sound bath below, in high quality audio and video. I highly recommend it. You could also try creating your own sound bath at home. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } s Free 3-hour healing sound bath online Shanti Bowl is one of many companies that sell Tibetan singing bowls, and they also provides instructions on how to create your own sound bath at home. If you can invest in a bowl, you’ll enjoy the added experience of making the sounds yourself and feeling the vibrations of the bell through your hands. You can listen for the tones and rhythms and silences that resonate most with you, and take you into a relaxed state. What to wear to a sound bath meditation If you're lucky enough to join a sound bathing meditation class, turn up in comfy, loose clothing such as jogging pants, leggings, or even PJs. Lots of people choose to wear white, as it's neutral and doesn't draw attention, but you can choose whatever colour you like. The takeaway: sound bathing At the very least, sound baths are one of the most unique experiences you’ll find and, at most, you may find a healing, relaxing, meditative practice that you can easily make part of your life. Especially with high quality recordings available online, sound bathing is more accessible than ever. Having done many live sound baths myself, I heartily recommend you try one if you can. The experience of the direct sound vibrations around you are hard to describe and the benefits you feel will stay with you long after the session! • All images: shutterstock/Microgen happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Stress management | Mindfulness | Burnout Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Sustainable development goals aim to improve the living conditions, health, education, work conditions and ecosystems of the planet, both on land and at sea. But, as Ed Gould asks, what are they exactly and how do they function? It was under the leadership of Ban Ki-moon, the former Director-General, that the United Nations adopted a comprehensive programme of sustainable development goals, or SDGs as they are sometimes called. They built upon a previous framework for sustainable development entitled 'The Future We Want', a non-binding commitment and product of the UN's 2012 Rio Conference. Some in the UN, including Ki-moon, saw that this was not enough and continued to press the matter. In 2015 the UN General Assembly adopted a paper entitled 'Transforming Our World: the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development'. This document included a number of sections, one of which focused on sustainable development goals. There were 17 of these adopted by the UN when the paper was published. The sustainable development goals are split up further by a number of associated targets. If each of the relevant targets is hit, so the connected goal or goals should be achieved. At the time, Ki-moon said that the sustainable development goals he wanted the world to adopt would help to ensure not only its viability but also its long-term survival: “We do not have a plan B because there is no planet B,” he memorably quipped. Peace and justice for all: goal number 16 What are the 17 sustainable development goals? Each of the UN-adopted sustainable development goals has a number as well as a title, which gives you a fair indication of what it's trying to achieve, even if you need to drill down a little further to understand how it will do its job. The principle behind them is that all of the countries of the Earth are signed up to similar goal-orientated aspirations: Goal 1 – No Poverty Goal 2 – Zero Hunger Goal 3 – Good Health and Well-Being for People Goal 4 – Quality Education Goal 5 – Gender Equality Goal 6 – Clean Water and Sanitation Goal 7 – Affordable and Clean Energy Goal 8 – Decent Work and Economic Growth Goal 9 – Industry, Innovation and Infrastructure Goal 10 – Reduced Inequalities Goal 11 – Sustainable Cities and Communities Goal 12 – Responsible Consumption and Production Goal 13 – Climate Action Goal 14 – Life Below Water Goal 15 – Life on Land Goal 16 – Peace, Justice and Strong Institutions Goal 17 – Partnerships for the Goals Although when they're described by their headlines only, some of the sustainable development goals can sound a little wishy-washy, as soon as you look at the principles behind them, you can see what each is trying to achieve. For example, climate action is described as: “Taking urgent action to combat climate change and its impacts by regulating emissions and promoting developments in renewable energy.” Likewise, the second SDG of 'Zero hunger' is set to be achieved by improving food security measures and by promoting a more sustainable form of agriculture. “We do not have a plan B because there is no planet B.” Ban Ki-moon talking about Sustainable Development Goals Although some critics have pointed out that some of the sustainable development goals might impinge upon one another – for example, improved infrastructure projects might make life on land less sustainable – the key to the approach taken by the UN is the international way in which sustainable development must be undertaken in the future. After all, the entire global population's well-being, happiness – and even its survival – may require greater cooperation among the people of the world to ensure the planet is fit to live on for centuries to come. Essentially, the sustainable development goals try to offer a blueprint as to how all countries should regulate their citizens and organizations in order to do the best by the planet and its people. Doctor's orders: good health and well-being is another goal Why were sustainable development goals created? With increasing worldwide trade, many considered that globalization could have a negative impact on those people around the world who could not access its benefits. In addition, it was thought that an international approach to solving sustainable social and economic development was required in the post-Kyoto Accord world. This was due to the perception that as burgeoning economies around the planet were making great strides, they might be doing so without necessarily working with all of the regulatory safeguards that more established industrial economies have in place. Ultimately, the 17 sustainable development goals were developed in order to try and create a better future and more sustained happiness. As such, the proposals started to be acted upon by as early as 2016. How are sustainable development goals implemented? In just about every country of the world, individuals, educational institutions, governments, local authorities and non-governmental organisations have been taking on all kinds of work on the sustainable development goals that are relevant to them. As you might expect, the greatest responsibility for action plans resides with national governments. The governments of each country must translate the goals into a legislative framework which all businesses and individual citizens need to comply with. Furthermore, a national plan of action must be developed with establishes targets against any budgetary considerations. Part of the final sustainable development goal is to promote international action, and this can be seen in the way that richer countries are encouraged to seek out partners. This is because it was thought from the outset that poorer countries would need the support of more affluent nations in order meet all of their commitments under the programme. “The entire global population's well-being, happiness – and even its survival – may require greater cooperation among the people of the world to ensure the planet is fit to live on for centuries to come.” It's fair to say that not all of the burden of meeting sustainable development goals comes down to the actions of individual governments. The Council of the Baltic Sea States decided to make their plans in cooperation with one another and published their proposed actions in a document known as the Baltic 2030 Action Plan, for instance. In India, a policy think tank, known as the National Institution for Transforming India, was charged with coming up with many of the proposals that would see the country meet its ongoing SDG commitments. However, individual states within India have already begun implementing their own proposals in a way that's relevant to their particular circumstances and needs. As such, implementation of sustainable development goals is very varied, operating at both the sub and supranational state levels. Goal 4: quality education for all Who uses sustainable development for their goals? Despite the good work that's already underway with SDGs around the world, there is some variation with its take-up so far. According to the World Economic Forum (WEF), countries like Canada, the UK, France, Germany, Italy, Australia and New Zealand are all performing quite well. That organization gave all countries which were signatories to the UN programme an index rating between zero and 100 to better judge its actions by. As you might expect, these countries and others like them, such as Spain, Japan and Denmark, were all categorised as 70 or above. When they measured their performance across all 17 goals – some which they might have been meeting due to EU policy directives anyway, thereby giving them a head start over other countries – European countries did especially well. Sweden was found to be the best-performing nation with an index of 84.5. Canada was the top country outside of the EU, in 13th place with an index of 76.8. RELATED: Social justice isn't just for superheroes Equally unsurprisingly, the war-torn Central African Republic and troubled Liberia were at the bottom of the WEF's list of achievers with sustainable development goals. In fact, with the exception of Haiti and Afghanistan, they found that nearly all of the lowest-achieving countries were in Africa. As such, the WEF has called for international mechanisms to come into effect that will assist those at the bottom of the pile to meet their commitments by the programme's deadline of 2030. That organization suggested direct foreign investment, technology sharing and a tranche of global tax reform measures as ways forward. Among the key players in any UN-sponsored global programme is inevitably the United States. According to the UN's own information, the US has taken a large number of steps toward fulfilling its commitments, not least with a statewide sustainability programme for the whole of Hawaii. In addition, US schemes like the Bridge Initiative have sought to improve social and economic development across several sub-Saharan countries. Despite these measures – and more – the US still ranks as only a middling performer among countries, according to the WEF. At the UN, it's hoped that one of its major partners in many areas of international cooperation will see a dramatic improvement when it comes to sustainable development goals prior to the 2030 deadline which moves ever closer. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Sustainability | Global income distribution | Human rights Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He is a practitioner of Reiki.

It’s a fact; the art of practising gratitude can make you happier, healthier and improve your personal relationships. Victoria Haynes looks at the many benefits, and finds some great ways to cultivate the gratitude attitude. Taking the time to be grateful makes a real difference to your daily life. I try to practise the attitude of gratitude as often as possible, and every time I do, I get a little happiness boost. I’m not talking about grand gestures, either; simply thanking someone for holding a door or giving flowers to show my appreciation are all it takes. Knowing I’ve made someone feel good, and seeing their reaction has the power to take my day to the next level. Expressing gratitude in times of crisis is especially important. The Covid-19 pandemic has left people around the globe feeling anxious and hopeless, but if you look closely enough, pockets of gratitude have been popping up everywhere. Around the world hard-working frontline staff have been celebrated with rounds of applause while caring community members have sacrificed time to create much-needed PPE for teams that have been saving lives and caring for the sick. Gratitude has helped to unite communities and give hope where it seemed like there has been none. In fact, as humans, we’re programmed to focus on the negative aspects of life, so it’s not always easy to find things to be grateful for. At the end of a bad day, it can seem impossible to sit down and feel thankful – which is why we need to change our thinking. Choosing to focus on the positives and enjoy the little things, even when times are tough, is the key to cultivating a long-lasting attitude of gratitude. Attitude of gratitude: the benefits There are many scientifically-proven benefits to practising gratitude regularly. From obvious things, such as increased happiness and better relationships, to more surprising positives such as improved sleep patterns, here’s our top six reasons to harness the gratitude attitude. 1. Increased personal happiness Being thankful makes you feel great, and it’s an easy way to get a natural high and reduce negative emotions. It’s not just about you, though; gratitude is a beautiful two-way transaction. Expressing and receiving thanks encourages our brains to release happiness hormones such as dopamine and serotonin, giving us a sudden burst of joy. Journaling for gratitude shutterstock/WAYHOME studio And it’s more than just speculation. In 2009 scientists conducted a study at the National Institute of Health (NIH) into the effects of gratitude on brain activity, and the results were overwhelmingly positive. Subjects showed increased activity in the hypothalamus – the area which releases those feel-good chemicals – when they practised gratitude. Indeed, it’s scientifically proven that an attitude of gratitude has the power to rewire your brain. 2. Deeper relationships As well as making you feel good, adopting a gratitude attitude can build and strengthen relationships with others. It’s easy to fall into the trap of taking those close to you for granted, so remembering to thank your nearest and dearest can do wonders for your relationships. It works in two ways; remembering to be grateful makes us more appreciative of our partners, family and friends, while at the same time creating a cycle of gratitude. The more likely we are to express our thanks, the more likely we are to receive it. “Choosing to focus on the positives and enjoy the little things, even when times are tough, is the key to cultivating a long-lasting attitude of gratitude.” This isn’t just limited to loved ones, either – expressing gratitude in the workplace can lead to better communication and productivity. Research carried out at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania found that fund-raisers who had been thanked for their efforts made 50 per cent more fund-raising calls than those that hadn’t. 3. Improved patience and decision making You might not naturally link the two together, but striving to be a grateful person is a great way to improve your patience and decision making levels as well. We live in an age where we’re encouraged to aim for more of everything; bigger houses, more holidays, a better paid job. Many people want it all and they want it now! Studies have shown that people who happen to be more grateful, also tend to be less impatient and make better decisions. The thinking is that the more able you are to see the positives in your current situation, the less likely you are to crave new short-term gratification. 4. Boosted resilience Being grateful changes your entire outlook on life. It gives you the ability to thrive under pressure, make the best of difficult situations and allows you to find the good in an otherwise terrible day. With patience, you can train your brain to focus on the positives rather than the negatives, giving you the confidence to deal with any kind of adversity. Researchers at Georgia Southern University have proven the theory. They took two groups of people, and asked only one of them to perform a gratitude-based exercise. The group who were assigned the gratitude task reported to have experienced more resilience and coping skills during the experience than the group who hadn’t participated. 5. Reduced anxiety and depression If gratitude can make you happier, it stands to reason it can have a positive impact on mental health problems. If you're living with anxiety or depression, it’s possible that adopting an attitude of gratitude and focusing on the positives could play a vital role in recovery. Aside from encouraging the production of both dopamine and serotonin, gratitude practice reduces the production of stress hormones. In 1998 McCraty et al conducted an experiment into emotional self-management and stress. Their findings showed that there was a 23 per cent reduction of cortisol – a stress hormone – in the experimental group, who had been instructed to take part in an appreciation exercise. Express thanks with gifts or letters shutterstock/StudioByTheSea Another study discovered that the act of gratitude writing was incredibly beneficial to mental health. Researchers asked participants to either write letters of gratitude, note down their most negative experiences, or write nothing. They found that the group who took part in writing gratitude letters reported better mental health several weeks after the study had been completed. 6. Better physical health It’s been scientifically proven that people who practice expressing gratitude regularly also enjoy better physical health. A gratitude attitude is the secret to enjoying less pain, better sleep, less stress and more energy. People who focus on the positives in life tend to be more relaxed and are far happier than those who don’t. “If you're living with anxiety or depression, it's possible that adopting an attitude of gratitude and focusing on the positives could play a vital role in recovery.” Sounds too good to be true, right? Then let the science convince you. In 2003 researchers Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough carried out an investigation into whether gratitude had a positive effect on daily life and well-being. The students who took part and kept a gratitude journal for two weeks went on to report less headaches and other physical ailments than the group who were asked to write about negative events. How to cultivate the gratitude attitude Harnessing an attitude of gratitude doesn’t have to be difficult. At first, it might seem tricky to retrain your brain to look for the positives rather than allow it to focus on the negatives, but the more you practice, the more obvious it will become. Try some of the following methods: Gratitude journals Keeping a gratitude journal doesn’t mean you have to write pages and pages every day. It could be as simple as starting the day by noting down things you’re looking forward to, or ending it by recording a few positive events that happened. The aim is to simply lead your brain away from any negatives. Expressing thanks to family and friends It might sound basic, but just the act of saying thank you to your closest family and friends is a great place to begin on your quest for a gratitude attitude. We often forget to express gratitude for the everyday things – so start now! Writing letters Thankful for something? Write someone a letter and tell them how grateful they are, and how much of an impact they’ve had on your life. Meditating on gratitude If you already practice meditation, you’re halfway there. Meditating on gratitude is the art of sitting quietly and concentrating on all the things you’re thankful for. The gratitude attitude: conclusions It’s scientifically proven that gratitude has the power to change your life. Increased health and happiness, better interpersonal relationships and a boost to your brain power – what could be better? Grab that notebook and start your gratitude journal today. ● If you're interested in learning more about cultivating a more grateful approach to life, consider enroling in our 10-day online course, Mastering the Attitude of Gratitude. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online Academy classes Gratitude | Acceptance | Letting go | Journaling Written by Victoria Haynes Victoria Haynes is a freelance writer from the South Coast of the UK, who loves nothing more than a strong cup of tea, a good novel and the great outdoors.

Accepting our mortality helps us let go of busyness and focus on what’s most important to us in order to live a happier, more meaningful life. By OLIVER BURKEMAN on behalf of Greater Good Science Center. The average human lifespan is absurdly, terrifyingly finite. If you’re lucky and you live to 80, you will have lived about 4,000 weeks. This truth, which most of us ignore most of the time, is something to wrestle with if we want to spend our limited time on this earth well. Given that, it follows that time management, broadly defined, should be everyone’s chief concern. Yet the modern discipline of time management (or productivity) is depressingly narrow-minded, focused on devising the perfect morning routine or trying to crank through as many tasks as possible, while investing all your energy on reaching some later state of well-being and accomplishment. It ignores the fact that the world is bursting with wonder — and that experiencing more of that wonder may come at the cost of productivity. As a recovering “productivity geek,” I know how it feels to become swept up in the idea of discovering the perfect system of time management. But I was eventually forced to accept that my struggles to achieve a sense of perfect control or mastery of my time were counterproductive, leading not to a life of more meaning but one of more overwhelm and stress. I came to see that I needed to give up the quest for that kind of control, letting go of the impossible goal of becoming perfectly efficient and embracing my limitations instead, so as to make more time for what was really valuable. Part of that embrace of limitation involves facing the anxiety that comes with acknowledging mortality. When we recognize the shortness of life — and accept the fact that some things have to be left unaccomplished, whether we like it or not — we are freer to focus on what matters. Rather than succumbing to the mentality of “better, faster, more,” we can embrace being imperfect, and be happier for it. Here are 10 suggestions I make in my book, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, about how to live with your limited time in mind. 1. Adopt a “fixed volume” approach to productivity We all need to make tough choices about what we can realistically get done, so that we can prioritize the activities that matter most, instead of reacting to a constant barrage of demands. One way is to keep two to-do lists — one for everything on your plate, one for the 10 or fewer things that you’re currently working on. Fill up the 10 slots on the second list with items from the first, then set to work. The rule is not to move any further items from the first list onto the second until you’ve freed up a slot by finishing one of the 10 items. A related strategy is to set a pre-established time boundary for certain types of daily work — for example, to resolve to write from 8 to 11 a.m. — and to make sure you stop when time’s up. 2. Serialize Focus only on one big project at a time. Though it’s alluring to try to alleviate the anxiety of having too many responsibilities or ambitions by getting started on them all at once, you’ll make little progress that way. Multitasking rarely works well — and you’ll soon find that serializing helps you to complete more projects anyway, thereby helping relieve your anxiety. Forget multitasking: tackle one project at a time 3. Decide in advance what to fail at You’ll inevitably underachieve at something, simply because your time and energy are finite. But strategic underachievement — nominating in advance areas of your life in which you won’t expect excellence — helps you focus your time and energy more effectively. For example, you might decide in advance that it’s OK to have a cluttered kitchen while you finish your novel, or to do the bare minimum on a particular work project, so you can spend more time with your children. “When we recognize the shortness of life — and accept the fact that some things have to be left unaccomplished, whether we like it or not — we are freer to focus on what matters.” To live this way is to replace the high-pressure quest for work-life balance with something more reasonable: a deliberate kind of imbalance. 4. Focus on what you’ve already completed, not just what’s left to do Since the quest to get everything done is interminable by definition, it’s easy to grow despondent and self-reproachful when you can’t get through your whole to-do list. One counter-strategy is to keep a “done list,” which starts empty first thing in the morning, but which you can gradually fill in throughout the day as you get things done. It’s a cheering reminder that you could have spent the day doing nothing remotely constructive… yet you didn’t. 5. Consolidate your caring Social media is a giant machine for getting you to spend your time caring about the wrong things — and too many of them at once. We’re exposed to an unending stream of atrocities and injustices, each of which might have a legitimate claim on our time and our charitable donations, but which add up to something no human could ever effectively address comprehensively. Once you grasp that fact fully, it’s good to consciously pick your battles in charity, activism and politics — and devote your spare time only to those specific causes. Focus your capacity for care, so you don’t burn out. 6. Embrace boring and single-purpose technology Digital distractions allow us to escape to a realm where painful human limitations don’t seem to apply: scrolling idly around online, you need never feel bored or constrained in your freedom of action, which isn’t the case when it comes to doing work that matters. You can combat this by making your devices as boring as possible, removing social media apps and, if you dare, email. It’s also helpful to choose devices with only one purpose, such as the Kindle reader. Otherwise, temptations will be only a swipe away, and you’ll feel the urge to check your screens anytime you’re bored or facing a challenge in your work. 7. Seek out novelty in the mundane Time seems to speed up as we age, likely because our brains encode the passage of years based on how much information we process in any given interval. While children have many novel experiences and time therefore seems slower to them, the routinization of older people’s lives means that time seems to pass at an ever-increasing rate. RELATED: Mindful minutes - 10 small practices that make a big difference The standard advice is to combat this by cramming more novel experiences into your life. That can help, but it’s not always practical. An alternative is to pay more attention to every moment, however mundane — to find novelty by plunging more deeply into your present life. Try going on unplanned walks to see where they lead you, taking up drawing or birdwatching, or playing “I Spy” with a child — whatever draws your attention into the moment more fully. Spend more time on simple pleasures shutterstock/Just dance 8. Be a researcher in relationships The desire to feel in control of our limited time causes numerous problems in relationships, resulting not only in controlling behavior, but also commitment-phobia, the inability to listen, boredom, and missing out on the richness of communal experiences with others. “Pay more attention to every moment, however mundane — to find novelty by plunging more deeply into your present life.” When faced with a challenging or boring moment in a relationship, try being curious about the person you’re with, rather than controlling. Curiosity is a stance well-suited to the inherent unpredictability of life with others, because it can be satisfied by their behaving in ways you like or dislike — whereas if you demand a certain result instead, you’ll often be frustrated. 9. Cultivate instantaneous generosity Whenever a generous impulse arises in your mind, give in to it right away rather than putting it off. Don’t wait to figure out if the recipient deserves your generosity or if you really have the time to be generous right now (with all of the work you have left to do!). Just do it. The rewards are immediate, too, because generous action reliably makes you feel much happier. 10. Practise doing nothing When it comes to the challenge of using your 4,000 weeks well, the capacity to do nothing is indispensable, because if you can’t bear the discomfort of not acting, you’re far more likely to make poor choices with your time, such as attempting to hurry activities that can’t be rushed, or feeling you ought to spend every moment being “productive,” regardless of whether the tasks in question really matter. RELATED: How to practise Niksen – the art of doing nothing Doing nothing means resisting the urge to manipulate your experience or the people and things in the world around you, and to let things be as they are. You can try the “do-nothing” meditation, where you set a timer for 5-10 minutes and then try doing nothing; if you catch yourself doing something — thinking, say, or even just focusing on your breath — gently let go of doing it. As you keep letting go, you’ll increase your ability to do nothing, and gradually regain your autonomy. You’ll no longer be so motivated by the attempt to evade how reality feels here and now; instead, you’ll learn to calm down, and to make better choices with your brief allotment of life. • Main image: shutterstock/Syda Productions This essay is adapted from Four Thousand Weeks, published by Farrar, Straus & Giroux. Copyright © 2021. All rights reserved. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Mindfulness | Gratitude | Friendship Written by Greater Good Science Center This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. happiness.com is honoured to republish them with the kind permission of the Greater Good Science Center. greatergood.berkeley.edu

Are you a perfectionist? Always seem to be busy? Find it hard to say ‘no’? You may be living with high functioning anxiety. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains how overachievers and overthinkers can learn techniques to manage this chronic state of anxiety. High functioning anxiety is not an official diagnosis. It is a term popularly used to describe a state of chronic anxiety that often goes undiagnosed – and unnoticed. However, that does not mean that it is not a real thing. It is, and it can negatively affect your physical health and mental well-being. The hallmark of high functioning anxiety is the fighting mode of those affected. They are many of the overachievers, overdoers, overthinkers of the world. They are people who are white-knuckling their way through anxiety every day of their lives. In this article, we will look into what characterises people who describe themselves as having high functioning anxiety and how to deal with it. What is high functioning anxiety? A quote fit to start our discussion on what high functioning anxiety is, is one by Alain de Botton, a contemporary British philosopher: “The largest part of what we call ‘personality’ is determined by how we’ve opted to defend ourselves against anxiety and sadness.” High functioning anxiety is not recognised as an official diagnosis in the current revisions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) or the International Classification of Diseases (ICD). People who are using the term define it, generally, as being anxious but pushing through the feeling by staying busy and productive. In other words, it means hiding anxiety behind being an overachiever in various areas of life. Diagnostic categories are known to change, For example, homosexuality was once considered a disorder. Other categories were amended, deleted, added, adapted, recategorised, amended again. Such changes to mental disorders’ official classifications follow new findings, observations from psychotherapy practice, and political and societal changes. Anxiety spectrum disorders, in specific, underwent substantial modifications between the DSM-IV and DSM-V. Being over-busy is a sign of high functioning anxiety shutterstock/Drazen Zigic Therefore, high functioning anxiety can be considered a real issue, even though it might not be categorised as a separate disorder at the moment. In other words, it may appear in one of the following revisions of psychiatric manuals. The experience of being anxious, hiding it, and functioning on high (top, over-the-top) performance levels is real – and psychiatry might look into that in some of the future changes to the classifications. High functioning anxiety statistics So, how many people have high functioning anxiety? That is incredibly difficult to estimate. The first problem is that it is not a diagnosis of which institutions keep track of, as already explained. Secondly, anxiety in itself is severely underdiagnosed – and we can assume that people with high functioning anxiety are particularly unlikely to seek help for it. Indeed, one study determined that, in adolescents, only one-third of those affected by anxiety sought any form of professional help. According to another study, the lifetime prevalence of anxiety disorders is approximately 30 per cent. Regardless, they remain underdiagnosed, misdiagnosed and improperly treated. “The hallmark of high functioning anxiety is the fighting mode of those affected. They are many of the overachievers, overdoers, overthinkers of the world.” Anxiety is far more prevalent in high-income countries, and it disproportionally affects women. Considering these statistics, it becomes clear why there is so much talk about high functioning anxiety lately. The pressure of living in the modern-day Western world with ever-mounting roles and obligations results in heightened anxiety. People, however, often do not seek treatment or receive adequate help. Some keep muscling their way through the demands, the pace of life and the non-stop urge to keep going forward. Symptoms of high functioning anxiety As there is no official category in psychiatric manuals, we must rely on other sources to determine how high functioning anxiety looks like in real life. According to the South African College of Applied Psychology, these are the five main symptoms: 1. Staying busy all the time People with high functioning anxiety are keeping themselves busy at all times. This behaviour goes beyond productivity and working on one’s goals. They have an emotional need to keep themselves occupied. Relaxation and doing nothing at all feels threatening and uncomfortable. 2. Being a perfectionist Those who know them describe people with high functioning anxiety as highly determined, ambitious, and intent on always getting things done. In other words, everything you imagine under a Type A personality. This is not surprising, given the type’s association with anxiety. 3. Poor sleep Same as with generalised anxiety disorder, people with high functioning anxiety often have sleep disturbances. They can have difficulties falling or staying asleep. On the other hand, when they manage to get a bit of shut-eye, it is a fidgety sleep that brings little rest. Excessive working in overachievers can lead to poor sleep 4. Inability to say “No” Because of their need to be liked and acknowledged, those living with a high functioning form of anxiety are often unable to decline a request. They profoundly fear disappointing others. 5. Numbing behaviour Some people affected by high functioning anxiety try to numb the apprehension they feel. It can be a slightly more adaptive option, like exercise. However, often it is the straightforward unhealthy choice, such as excessive use of alcohol, psychoactive substances or overeating. Potential positives From one point of view, one that considers objective achievements, high functioning anxiety might come with benefits. The “trademark” of people affected by it is their high productivity. It is also one of the reasons why many are reluctant to seek professional help. If you think that you have high functioning anxiety, you are probably happy with its outcomes, even though it burdens you emotionally and physically. You might be outgoing, passionate, active and helpful. You are probably everyone’s first pick for any team. “People with high functioning anxiety are keeping themselves busy at all times. This behaviour goes beyond productivity and working on one’s goals.” You are punctual, detail-oriented, highly efficient and effective. Being perfectly organised and orderly is your middle name. On the outside, arguably, one might be pleased about managing to cope with anxiety by overachieving. After all, one of the reasons it is not considered a disorder is that it does not affect the person’s functioning. Potential negatives At the same time, albeit high functioning, it still is anxiety. In addition to the emotional toll, there are also outcomes of pushing yourself too hard. As a result of never taking a time-out, you are highly vulnerable to burnout. Obligations tend to hoard because you cannot say “no” when someone asks you to complete a task. You could also be comparing yourself to others and feeling dissatisfied with yourself all the time. Even though you might be highly sociable, inside, you probably feel insecure and tense. Because you have a hard time relaxing, you might be unable to enjoy the moment. You rarely take a vacation and relish in the benefits of obligation-free retreats. Unhealthy habits, such as working beyond optimal limits, could get the best of you. Poor sleep quality adds to exhaustion. Proneness to excessive use of alcohol or other harmful substances to numb the anxiety further strains you. Dealing with high functioning anxiety The first thing we should emphasize is: you are not going to lose your efficiency or become less successful if you address your anxiety. Some people might be reluctant to make changes because they, understandably so, like being high-fliers. However, healing from anxiety will not rob you out of your organisation skills. It will merely make you feel less stressed and your life more balanced, healthier. Anxiety troubles different people differently. So, you should try what works best for you. We give you four possible ways to deal with your high functioning anxiety: 1. Get professional help As with any mental health disturbance, the best thing you can do is seek professional help. Anxiety can be overwhelming, even the high functioning type. Anxiety disorders should be treated with psychotherapy, pharmacotherapy, or a combination of both. Cognitive-behavioural therapy is most often used, but other forms could also work for you. 2. Meditate and learn to be mindful A recent study reviewed 25 further studies on the effects of mindfulness meditation on anxiety among college students. The findings determined that such a form of mental practice has ample positive effects. In the clinical population, that is, among people diagnosed with anxiety, mindfulness-based interventions were also very effective. RELATED: Mindfulness vs meditation – understanding the difference 3. Be your own therapist You are an expert on your state. So, use this knowledge and design a toolbox specifically for your needs. For example, if you worry too much, you can designate some time- and place-specific worry time. Findings revealed that, although counter-intuitive, a half-hour of intentional worry, when it follows certain principles, lowers anxiety levels. Consider trying self-hypnosis for anxiety. According to a recent study, hypnosis audios trained the brain to exert better physical and emotional control over one’s experiences. Maybe try and work on cognitive restructuring – a technique in which you track, analyse and alter your habitual way of thinking about events and experiences. 4. Reach out Studies show that social support is one of the most powerful ways to reduce anxiety. Open up to someone who cares about you and tell them how you have been feeling. It might come as a surprise to them. However, it is important to have people who know everything about you and encourage you when you slip. It could do wonders for your need to power through your days and maintain a superhuman persona. Being your vulnerable and insecure self in a safe environment will help you tap into a more relaxed state of existence. Defend yourself against anxiety in a healthier way Although we are exposed to the pathologisation of anxiety in media and expert literature, some philosophers consider it an inherent part of being human. From that perspective, what we are left with is a choice. It is the choice of how we will view and deal with high functioning anxiety. We invite you to redesign your pick. Opt to defend yourself from the feeling in a more balanced way, with lots of self-love and self-care. Main image: shutterstock/Roman Samborskyi happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum ■ developing with free online classes in our Academy Coaching | Letting go | Authenticity Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Feeling unhappy is usually viewed as something to be avoided, but as Calvin Holbrook writes, studies show that cherophobia – the fear of happiness – is real. So, why are some people afraid of happiness, and can the condition be treated? It’s probably true to say that many of us are searching for happiness throughout our lives, be it from loving relationships, career satisfaction, or a safe and comfortable home. So, the idea that someone could suffer from a fear of happiness sounds hard to believe. But, in fact, there are some people who completely avoid any feelings of happiness and are indeed afraid of the consequences of being joyful. This phenomenon is known as cherophobia, or the fear of happiness. The term comes from the Greek word chairo, which means ‘I rejoice’. Now, we can all empathize with a fear of flying, snakes or heights – we may even share some of those phobias ourselves – but an aversion to happiness? It’s tricky to get to grips with the idea that a person could be afraid to be happy. Cherophobia: the definition In truth, people living with cherophobia are not always fearful of the pleasant feelings happiness can bring, but are, in fact, more concerned about the possible negative effects – disappointment, sadness, loneliness – which can follow when whatever is causing the happiness stops. Indeed, some people with cherophobia have problems to grant themselves the slightest joy or pleasure as they feel undeserving of it. The assumption is that happiness cannot be stable or constant, and only bad luck will follow, so there’s little point believing in happiness and well-being in the first place. Unfortunately, worrying about being happy blocks a healthy way of life. That’s because humans need positive experiences to reinforce and refuel ourselves, both mentally and physically. Additionally, the production of so-called ‘happiness hormones’ (endorphins such as serotonin and dopamine), is important for our well-being. Those of us who do not produce enough of these endorphins may develop depression. Life on the edge: those with cherophobia are often depressed Indeed, the attempt to deliberately avoid or oppress feelings of happiness has a counterproductive effect on the human body. Working against nature causes stress, which in turn sets free stress hormones (instead of ones linked to well-being). Depression and fear of happiness Scientists assume a connection between cherophobia and depression, although, as it's a recent study area, it’s still not entirely clear whether the fear of happiness is the cause, result or side effect of depression. However, a 2013 study did identify different correlations or connections of fear and happiness. Researchers in New Zealand and England, UK, incorporated a ‘Fear of Happiness Scale’ to measure to what degree participants associated feeling happy to then having something bad happening afterwards. The results, published in the Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, suggested that those people with depression often avoided activities that could potentially lead to happy feelings, such as meeting with friends or going to parties. “People living with cherophobia are not always fearful of the pleasant feelings happiness can bring, but are, in fact, more concerned about the possible negative effects.” Furthermore, the researchers suggested that a spiral develops in which the common depression symptom of social withdrawal reinforces the worry that if a person experience fun or happy feelings during an event, it will only follow with disappointment, loneliness or other negative letdown. Cherophobia and memory link The fact that our brain is hardwired to focus on the negative rather than the positive also comes into play when exploring aversion to happiness. That’s because people living with cherophobia may have previously experienced life events in which happy times were swiftly followed by a negative or upsetting event. Indeed, those with an aversion to happiness have often filtered their perceptions to remember only the bad thing that happened after a happy time, rather than the joyful experience itself. Painful events, be they physical or emotional, can often create such a strong memory that they overshadow other important or happy times. And if these strong emotional memories develop around happiness being somehow linked to disappointment or pain, this can lead to people avoiding opportunities for happiness due to the fear that something bad is bound to follow. Fear of happiness and culture link Of course, happiness is evaluated completely differently depending on the respective cultural background. For example, in a 2013 study, 'Cross-Cultural Validation of Fear of Happiness Scale Across 14 National Groups', Joshanloo, Weijers and other researchers identified four key reasons for fear of happiness: a belief that happiness will cause bad things to happen a belief that happiness will cause you to become a bad person a belief that expressing happiness is somehow bad for you a belief that pursuing happiness is bad for you and others Interestingly, on this last point, the authors wrote: “Some people – in Western and Eastern cultures – are wary of happiness because they believe that bad things, such as unhappiness, suffering and death, tend to happen to happy people.” In another study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, US-Americans and Chinese participants predicted the expected course of their curve of happiness over their entire life span. While the Americans believed in a continuous course of happiness, the Chinese proceeded more in waves, back and forth, believing in happiness fluctuations. RELATED: Happiness across different cultures The reason for this might be found in Taoism, because according to Taoist philosophy, one is supposed to accept that everything is constantly in flux. Indeed, the pursuit of happiness in countries pronounced by Taoism is less common than in Western countries. The aforementioned Joshanloo, a scientist from Chungbuk National University in South Korea, also carried out a global study about fear of happiness in 2014. The study was made up of 2,700 students from different countries, including Iran, Russia, Japan, USA, Netherlands and ten others. Don't suffer in silence: cherophobia can be treated The results showed that except for participants from Kenya and India, those people in all the other countries did exhibit some fear of happiness. However, there were no major differences in this among the countries themselves. It turned out, however, that in cultures which are more in line with conformity, the fear of envy is bigger than in compared countries. Hence, people in Eastern Asia have more inhibition to show their happiness than, for example, Americans. Happiness aversion: solutions? Studies show that, for the most part, the ability to be happy is innate. While there are people who are threatened to become broken by bad strokes of fate, others overcome them with amazing strength. But not every person missing the happiness gene has to surrender to this fate. Experts talk about so-called ‘happy habits’, the small routine ways we can learn how to increase happiness. For those with cherophobia, this is a great way to expand their personal perception of happiness. Attentiveness and mindfulness are the magic words in this context. That’s because it’s not the big feelings of happiness from, say, falling in love or when a child is born, but rather the little daily things which nourish us psychologically. Things such as the first warm sunbeams on the skin after a long winter, the smell of fresh coffee in the morning, or just-cut grass: all of these can make us happy, if we just allow it. For those living with cherophobia or the fear of happiness, the learning experience from enjoying these small, regular moments of happiness is key. That’s because such moments can usually only be positive – there can be no negative result – no disappointment, envy, punishment – or other negative emotion attached to them. “Those with an aversion to happiness have filtered their perceptions to remember only the bad thing that happened after a happy time.” Some therapists assume that the fear of being happy should be treated like other phobias: with a gradual approach to the fear-triggering moment. Psychologists in this case talk about exposure as it is applied in treating the fear of flying. Little by little the patients face their fear until finally, and in the best case scenario, they can even master an entire flight fearless. The fact remains there is no one-size-fits-all solution for those affected by cherophobia. However, there are sources for happiness from which everyone can draw. First of all, self-knowledge is important: knowing what you like or want in life and and how you can achieve it. Also, the benefits of gratitude include boosting our well-being. Those of us who learn to appreciate what we have got tend to be living a more satisfied life. Cherophobia: conclusions If you have an aversion to happiness or generally having problems finding happiness, consider talking about it with a therapist. Likewise, it’s important to question your own perception of happiness more accurately and ask yourself some basic but important questions: what is happiness for me? Who or what helps me to be happy? How do I handle my feelings of happiness? How do I want to find happiness? All of these are exciting questions, and knowing or just considering the answers can lead you on your way to escaping cherophobia and your fear of happiness and experiencing joy on a day-to-day basis – because everyone deserves to be happy. ● Main image: shutterstock/ESB Professional happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude | Compassion | Resilience Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, as well being an artist and lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

As COVID restrictions relax, many of us are looking forward to getting away again. And taking time out to travel helps us do more than just chill out. As Calvin Holbrook discovers, research suggests that, in fact, traveling offers some important mental health benefits. Whether it's a 48-hour road trip out of town or two weeks in a far away foreign country, travel can work wonders for both our personal and professional lives. And aside from giving us the chance to relax, research has shown that, in fact, travel provides us with a great number of benefits to our mental health. So, here are six key ways traveling is great for mental health and happiness: it'll give you six more excuses to start planning your next adventure! 1. It reduces stress and boosts health The daily commute. Family issues. Relationship problems. Feeling unhappy at work. Our day-to-day lives can be filled with many stressful situations. Taking time away from those things through travel is a great way to clear your head and de-stress, as it temporarily removes us from the places and activities that increase our stress levels. Travelling allows us to forget about our chores and stresses and reset our minds. According to a 2013 study, almost 90 per cent of Americans surveyed noticed significant drops in stress following just a couple of days of travelling. The same study found that women who travelled only every six years or less had a significantly higher risk of developing coronary death or heart attack when compared with women who vacationed at least twice a year. Additionally, men who didn’t take an annual vacation were shown to have a 20 per cent higher risk of death and about a 30 per cent greater risk of death because of heart disease. Travel boosts mental and physical health shutterstock/haveseen Margaret J King from the Center for Cultural Studies and Analysis sums up the stress-relieving abilities of travel well: “With a short list of activities each day, freed up from the complexities of ongoing projects and relationships, the mind can reset, as does the body, with stress relief the main outcome.” 2. It boosts happiness and mood Aside from the obvious point that you don't have to work (and can basically eat and drink pretty much anything), traveling provides you with the perfect chance to step away from the mundane daily grind. Switching up your daily routine through travelling means new experiences and events, which are proven to help rewire the brain and stimulate your mind, in turn boosting both your mood and happiness levels. Furthermore, according to two significant studies, even just the act of planning a trip is proven to raise your happiness levels. RELATED: Why money can't buy happiness (except when you spend it like this) A 2014 study by Cornell University concluded that the anticipation of a trip increases a person’s happiness levels substantially, more so than the idea of acquiring a new possession, such as a car. This research was backed up by a further study from the University of Surrey that found that people are at their happiest when they have a trip ahead already planned. Moreover, they’re also more positive about their general quality of life, health and financial situation. 3. It makes you more mentally resilient and independent Visiting a new place while traveling is exciting, but it can also be intimidating and challenging. Indeed, facing difficulties in an unfamiliar environment and being among new people and situation often forces you out of your comfort zone. For example, it could be trying to speak a new foreign language, navigating public transport networks, attempting to order and try new foods… While this can sometimes be uncomfortable, this aspect of foreign travel can also make us more resilient, by toughening us up mentally and emotionally. “Travelling allows us to forget about our stresses and reset our minds. According to a 2013 study, almost 90 per cent of Americans surveyed noticed significant drops in stress following after just a couple of days of travelling.” Being out of our comfort zones like this means we have to learn and adapt, which in turn makes us more flexible and patient. And, according to a 2013 research paper by Zimmerman and Neyer, the challenge of travelling in a foreign country can strengthen the 'openness' of our personalities and improve emotional stability. 4. It gives you time to reconsider your life Travelling helps promotes mindfulness as we tend to forget our lives back home and instead focus on the moment and all the nice things we're experiencing. However, taking time out from our regular routine can also provide a valuable time for reflection, especially if you're going through a transitional period in your life. As writer Patrick Rothfuss once said, “A long stretch of road can teach you more about yourself than a hundred years of quiet.” Furthermore, the lessons that you learn along the way during your travels can broaden your perspective, making you more aware and open to new ideas. Likewise, experiencing new cultures gives you a chance to reflect on your own. RELATED: Happiness in Different Cultures This chance to reflect on life is backed up by Adrian and Christoph from the German travel podcast Welttournee – der Reise Podcast. They are two friends who've travelled together to over 100 countries. Christoph says: “We've travelled to many countries together but from time to time it’s also good to go on the big trip alone. To be able to look, see and judge, it’s sometimes a big advantage, when you are totally on your own and unencumbered – your inner voices begin to speak with you and from this point it could be a journey to yourself.” 5. It strengthens and clarifies relationships Many of the benefits of travelling on mental health we've looked at so far are very focused on individuals. So, how can travel be positive when there is more than one of you on the trip? Well, if you're travelling with a friend or partner, it opens up the possibility to strengthen and clarify the relationship. In our daily lives, relationship stress can occur through miscommunication and other issues, which can in turn affect our mental health. However, traveling with lovers, family or friends, creates not just more time together but a different kind of time together: it provides the opportunity to connect on a deeper level. Travel can help strengthen relationships shutterstock/biletskiy During a trip together you have the chance to experience to many different and perhaps new feelings – awe, confusion, excitement, disorientation – all of which can be meaningful for relationships. Indeed, according to a 2012 survey by the US Travel Association, couples who travel together have healthier and happier relationships compared to those who do not. The phone study provided three key results: Travel has long-term benefits for couples, such as increased closeness and perception of shaared goals/interests Travel helps build and maintain relationships Travel ignites romance and intimacy Furthermore, planning a trip as well as making decisions – and compromises – can help bring you closer and strengthen a relationship. However, on the other hand, these experiences can also bring out hidden clarity to a relationship that was facing difficulties. Some people discover that the relationship with the person they’re traveling with is not worth investing in further and they realise they're not really compatible. 6. It increases depth of thought and creativity If you’re facing a creative block or lacking in direction, travel could do your mental health the world of good by boosting your ability to form new ideas and unlock your creativity through new experiences. You may have previously heard that taking a different route to work every day is beneficial to you. That’s down to neuroplasticity – the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections. By changing your environment and exposing your brain to things you haven’t seen before, you’re literally forming new neuronal pathways. And creativity is directly related to neuroplasticity. “According to a 2012 survey by the US Travel Association, couples who travel together have healthier and happier relationships compared to those who do not.” This was backed up with a 2014 study published in the Academy of Management Journal. The research showed that foreign travel and work significantly improved creativity among fashion directors from over 270 fashion houses. But simply being somewhere new is not enough to maximise boosting your creativity. According to the study’s researcher Adam Galinsky, engagement, immersion and adaptation were all critical factors to success. He told The Atlantic: “Someone who lives abroad and doesn’t engage with the local culture will likely get less of a creative boost than someone who travels abroad and really engages in the local environment.” So, next time you go somewhere new, make sure to delve into all it has to offer and connect with the local community: you’ll be forming new neuronal pathways in the brain and may boost your creative juices. The takeaway: travel and mental health Science shows that, apart from just relaxing, travelling and experiencing new cultures helps boost our mental health and happiness in many ways: providing stress relief, boosting our resilience, creativity and happiness, while also improving our relationships. As Christoph from Welttournee – der Reise Podcast says, “We have become disgustingly rich by traveling. Not necessarily in our bank balance, but in a very special way. After each trip we have many stories to tell. We have met many new people, tried new things and become richer in our own way.” ● Main image: shutterstock/frantic00 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Anxiety | Depression | Compassion Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness.com magazine, as well being an artist and travel lover. He also loves hiking, nature, swimming, yoga, sweaty dancing, and all things vintage!

Incorporate the power of visualization into your meditation practice. Ann Vrlak explains the benefits of using your imagination while meditating and guides you in two practices. Visualization meditation is an enjoyable and powerful way to harness your imagination in meditation. This form of meditation is different from visualization itself. Here’s how. You may have heard that elite athletes like the swimmer Michael Phelps or basketball legend Michael Jordon have used visualization. They both learned to visualize themselves achieving a particular goal: finishing the freestyle in World Record time or sinking a winning three-pointer just before the buzzer. RELATED: 8 Manifestation Techniques But why? Well, these sports stars were able to capitalize on an interesting fact about the brain. It can’t always distinguish between something you imagine you're doing and something you’re actually doing. The same neurons fire in your brain in either case, so visualizing the activity in your mind makes it much easier to do in reality – because your brain has already practised it! Amazing, eh? That’s visualization, and you can see why it’s a common tool for people who want to excel in their field. So, what is visualization meditation? Visualization meditation is different. It uses this considerable power of visualization in service of a traditional meditative goal such as developing concentration or compassion, or connecting with a peaceful, space inside yourself. Using visualization during meditation can enhance your practice For example, I use visualization meditation a lot with children because their imagination is so accessible to them. It gives them a fun way to visualize and understand abstract concepts, like freedom or focus or peacefulness. And, for many adults, visualization meditation changes a black and white experience to one in vivid, 3D colour. This practice helps to evoke the emotional and sensory aspects of your experience. It’s markedly different, for example, to think about the concept of loving-kindness in the abstract than to feel loving-kindness for your partner or your beloved pet, isn’t it? The visualization helps you to connect with the experience beyond the concept. That’s the key. “For many adults, visualization meditation changes a black and white experience to one in vivid, 3D colour.” This form of meditation is a helpful bridge to the many people who find the mental focus of meditation difficult. For them, the instruction to focus on their breath or a mantra or on silence itself is too abstract – they don’t grasp what they need to do. However, visualization meditation allows you to use skills you’re familiar with to learn something unfamiliar. Benefits of visualization meditation The benefits of visualization meditation, especially if you practice with some regularity, are the same as other meditation practices: Increased focus Reduction in anxiety and stress, and even depression Resting and rejuvenating your nervous system Increasing energy and boosting the immune system Better sleep More self-compassion and empathy for others Visualization meditations you can try Here are two visualization meditations that use traditional meditation concepts: observing thoughts and emotions in a non-judgmental way, and deepening compassion for yourself and others. 1) Non-judgmental observation This relaxing meditation helps you visualize the concept of non-judgmental observation as a peaceful river. It goes like this. Close your eyes and imagine yourself lying comfortably on the banks of a slow-moving river. Create a scene that you find beautiful and safe, somewhere you can imagine yourself feeling totally at home and relaxed. Fill in the scene with as much sensory information as you can. What colours do you see around you, in the trees, in the sky, in the river itself? Do you hear birds or wind in the trees? How does the earth feel beneath you, and what do you feel on your skin? Now, imagine yourself sitting up and watching the river. You begin to see leaves, twigs and other objects floating by. You watch them come slowly out of the distance into view, and then disappear as they float away down the river. Try not to become attached to any particular object. Just notice them and let them continue on their way down the river. And imagine that your thoughts and emotions are on this river, too. They come from the distance, flow into your mind, stay for a moment and then slowly drift out of view. Play around with this image for a while. Watch how parts of your experience come and go, including any questions you have about the visualization or how you’re doing it right or wrong. These thoughts too appear and then move on, when you let them be. Notice that you’re on the shore watching all these things come and go, essentially unaffected by them. Continue doing this practice for as long as it feels enjoyable. When you’re done, reflect on this visualization meditation and your direct, sensory experience of having objectivity on your thoughts and feelings. How did it feel? Do you think this meditation could help you when you are anxious, angry or depressed? Imagining nature and colour during meditation shutterstock/RangArt 2) Loving-kindness Another practice you can try is a loving-kindness meditation to grow your compassion for yourself and others. Again, find a comfortable position lying down or sitting up, and close your eyes. Think about a challenge or difficulty you’re having right now, something that is upsetting you or causing a conflict with someone. Just for a moment, feel the upset or conflict. Breathe slowly and deeply. As you feel the situation, say these words yourself silently or out loud, as sincerely as you can: May I be happy. May I feel safe from harm. May I accept myself just as I am. May I be peaceful and at ease. Do your best to really feel the words: what it feels like to be happy, or safe, or self-accepting. Use your senses again to make this experience come to life, with what you see and hear and taste and smell. Genuinely wish these things for yourself and feel them. When you’re ready, begin to extend this loving-kindness to a person or people you care about. May my daughter Sarah be happy. May my brother Steve feel safe from harm. Or: May everyone in my family be happy. May everyone in my family be peaceful and at ease. See these people in vivid 3D, experiencing these aspects of loving-kindness that you wish so deeply for them. Let these experiences fill your being. And if these particular phrases don’t feel quite right for you, feel free to change them until they do. But, try them first, even if they feel a bit awkward. Most people pre-judge loving-kindness meditation before they even try it! Finally, if you’re one of the many people who finds it easier to care for others than themselves, you can start this meditation thinking about others, and then finish with directing loving-kindness toward yourself. You may find this easier. The wrap: visualization meditation If you’re someone who has found meditation a difficult or dry, unhelpful mental exercise, visualization meditation may be just what you need. We are multi-dimensional creatures, after all, and our emotions and deeper perceptions are what many of us find bring meaning to who we are and what we do. RELATED: Turning Pain into Compassion: Tonglen Meditation I hope you’ll try these practices or try incorporating visualization into different types of meditation practices. Use the sensory tools I’ve described here to create that multi-dimensional experience for yourself, rather than letting your attention do the heavy lifting in meditation. Enjoy the power of your imagination to deepen your understanding of yourself. • Main image: shutterstock/agsan drew happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ read our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Tummo Breathing | Spirituality | Resilience | Internal conflict Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

There were plenty of feel-good health and environmental stories to start 2021, but you may not have heard of them – until now! Ed Gould rounds up his Top Ten positive news stories from the past month to uplift and inspire us. January is one of the gloomiest months in the calendar where, in the northern hemisphere at least, it's often cold, grey and wet. However, the past month was full of feel-good news to brighten your day. Not all of these stories got the mainstream attention they deserved, so what were some of the good news items you may not have noticed? 1. Mindfulness uptake boosted by lockdowns There are few good news items about the various lockdowns around the world but one has been the increased interest in mindfulness and meditation among the public. In fact, according to Buddhistdoor, the pandemic has seen a doubling of the use of mindfulness apps, especially those which draw inspiration from traditional Buddhist meditative techniques. Its report also points out that mindfulness is becoming so mainstream that it now has entire TV shows devoted to it, such as a forthcoming series on Netflix called 'Headspace Guide to Meditation' and 'A World of Calm', an HBO series. 2. Great Green Wall project ramps up Having raised in excess of $14 billion from the African Development Bank in January, an international project to protect central Africa from the Sahara desert has received a huge boost. Started back in 2005, the initiative has already seen many trees, shrubs and grasses planted in the savannah areas to the south of the desert. Stretching from Senegal in the west to Djibouti in the east, the Great Green Wall has already saved hundreds of thousands of hectares from soil erosion, thereby helping a substantial part of the continent to remain arable. According to the Financial Times, the project helps to provide job opportunities and to promote regional peace, as well as safeguarding the environment. 3. Artificial heart approved for use in Europe In a report published by France 24, a French company named Carmat has gained regulatory approval for its artificial heart. The mechanised organ is likely to offer a lifeline to many patients who have yet to be matched with a suitable donor. It has taken almost three decades to come to fruition, but the artificial heart will go on sale in the European Union from April, the healthcare firm announced. According to Stéphane Piat, Carmat's CEO, the device is compatible with all blood types and is self-regulating once it has been placed inside the patient's body. 4. Panamanian tribe wins stewardship of wide forest region According to a report in Yale Environment 360, indigenous tribespeople in Panama have won a court ruling that will put them in charge of a vast area of almost pristine forest. The country's Supreme Court found in favour of the Naso people in their claims to the forest, situated in one of Panama's semi-autonomous regions. The indigenous Americans had feared that the area would be developed and that the ancient areas of forest would come under threat. At least two large national parks will now come under the control of the Naso people as a result of the ruling. Rain forest in Panama shutterstock/Angel deBilio 5. Mexico City bans single-use plastic As one of the largest cities in Central America, Mexico City sets the standards for others in the region to follow. Indeed, the city's authorities have certainly led the way with a ban on single-use plastics which came in at the start of 2021. According to ZME Science, the citywide ban includes items such as plastic cutlery and straws, which were once a big feature of its street food culture. Officials will initially visit food outlets and retailers to check they are complying with the new rules and to inform them of breaches, rather than taking a punitive route as the plastic moratorium comes into effect. 6. Alzheimer drug showing strong results The American pharmaceutical firm Lilly announced in January that it had good results from the mid-stage of its long-term drug trial in the fight against Alzheimer's disease. The company reckons that its experimental treatment has slowed the rate of mental decline in patients by, on average, as much as one third. Almost 300 people with the disease have been taking part in the study over the last 18 months. A beta-amyloid called N3pG is at the heart of the treatment, something Lilly thinks will be cleared rapidly by the regulators once the full field trial is completed. RELATED: Cognitive impairment – 5 key ways to reduce the risk as you age 7. Lab-grown wood could save trees Many media outlets reported a breakthrough in January that was announced by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. MIT scientists have been able to grow a wooden material from plant cells that can be put to a wide range of uses, including furniture making. Given that wood is such an adaptable and widely used material, there is little doubt that people will need it for decades to come. However, that has always come with a cost in terms of deforestation. The lab-grown wood could offer a way forward with traditional woodwork without the need to chop down trees. 8. Renewable energy beating fossil fuels in Germany, UK and Spain A German think tank reported in January that clean energy had overtaken reliance on fossil fuels in three European countries for the first time in 2020. Germany led the way with its uptake of solar power, while wind farms were the mainstay of the UK's efforts. The think tank's report found that electrical generation from coal fell across Europe by a further 20 per cent last year while reliance on nuclear production also dropped by about 10 per cent. Less fossil fuels, more wind farms shutterstock/TedNab 9. Mysterious blue light spotted from the International Space Station A streak of upwardly discharging blue lightning has been detected for the first time from the International Space Station, according to numerous press outlets. The European Space Agency said that the phenomenon will help scientists to understand the ways in which greenhouse gases behave in the upper atmosphere because the blue flashes of light seem to be connected to them in the ionosphere. A European-made instrument on the space station has been looking for these discharges for some time because they are not observable from Earth. Until now, scientists had only been able to theorise about them. 10. Wooden satellite slated for launch Japanese scientists and engineers from Kyoto University have built a prototype of a wooden satellite, according to Universe Today. The idea is to launch the communications system into orbit as soon as 2023 with the approach meaning that less so-called 'space junk' will be created by using fewer metal parts. All of the potentially problematic components can be housed inside the wooden structure which, not being made of metal, should not interfere with radio transmissions. • Main image: shutterstock/Yanikap happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Positive news | Nature | Biology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Many of us dream of living by the sea, and science shows coastal living could be beneficial for both our mental and physical health. Calvin Holbrook explores the therapeutic benefits of being in, on and by the water. Long before seaside spas became fashionable for those wanting a slice of rest and relaxation, respite close to the sea was – literally – just what the doctor ordered. During the mid-late 19th and early 20th centuries in the UK, people were regularly sent to convalesce by the coast, with sea-bathing hospitals being a common treatment. Indeed, in Victorian times, living by the sea was a way of treating those with consumption and chest diseases such as TB, as the fresh and salty sea air was believed to have curative properties. Fast forward to nowadays, and the reason many of us take our holidays by the seaside is because we appreciate the relaxing benefits of the ocean, sun and nature. But could making a more permanent move to the coast improve our health and mental well-being in the long-run? Let’s take a closer look at the science behind how living by the sea could benefit both your mind and body. The health benefits of living by the sea If you're thinking of moving to live by the seaside, here are four backed-by-science health benefits that may persuade you to take the plunger and make the change to coastal life. 1. Sea air helps you to sleep better If you feel sleepier or more rested after a visit to the seaside, there’s clear science to back up why. Dr Natasha Bijlani, a psychiatrist from London’s Priory’s Roehampton Hospital told Metro: “Sea air is good for sleep because it’s generally cleaner and fresher, with higher levels of oxygen, which can improve sleep.” In fact, negative ions in sea air accelerate your ability to absorb oxygen, and also help balance your serotonin levels, one of the body's happiness hormones. A seaside hike can lead to better sleep shutterstock/Paul Nash A 2015 study from the National Trust seems to corroborate the idea that breathing in sea air helps you to sleep better. It found that people sleep on average for 47 minutes longer the night after a decent seaside hike. That’s compared to only an additional 12 minutes for those who went on an inland walk of a similar length. Environmental psychologist Eleanor Ratcliffe, who carried out the National Trust research, said: “It’s clear there’s something really special about the coast that can allow people to boost their mood, relax and sleep.” 2. The coast boosts your mental health As well as improving sleep, recent scientific research shows that coastal living can also help in warding off depression and anxiety. A study from the University of Exeter looked at the census data of 48 million adults in England and how their rated their own health, in relation to where they lived. The results showed that people living close to the coast experience lower mental distress, but when the same people moved inland, the effects were reversed. Dr Lewis Elliott from the University of Exeter confirmed: “We discovered that the closer people live to the coast in England, the better they rate their health.” RELATED: Outdoor Meditation: How to Meditate in Nature More recently, in October 2019, another study from the same team published in the journal Health & Place backed up their previous findings. The researchers surveyed almost 26,000 people to analyze the mental health well-being effects of being close to the coast. The results showed that those who live less than 1km from the sea are 22 per cent less likely to have mental health symptoms compared to those living over 50km away. This corroborated an earlier study from 2013 which concluded that you’re more likely to have better mental health if you live within 5km of the British coastline. “As well as improving sleep, recent scientific research shows that coastal living can also help in warding off depression and anxiety.” In fact, you don’t even have to get your feet wet to feel the mental and health benefits of living by the sea. Simply looking out at the vast ocean in front of you can help to put your worries into perspective. Your fears may seem trivial when you look at the skyline ahead: this is down to the power of awe. And a 2015 study showed that even just having a view of the sea can promote improvements in mood and a reduction in heart rate. Additionally, the sound of the waves can be very calming. 3. Salt water helps your body heal Physical health improvements are another potential benefit of living by the sea. Sea water is rich in minerals such as magnesium, chloride, sodium, potassium, iodine and sulphur, many of which have curative and anti-inflammatory effects on the skin. Indeed, a 1999 study from the University of Freiburg in Germany found that a combination of sea water and UVB radiation can improve troubling skin problems such as dermatitis and psoriasis. Coastal living means you can enjoy water sports rawpixel.com/shutterstock Talking to Woman & Home magazine, Kevin Benitez Garcia of Gran Canaria Wellness explained: “Soaking in seawater is nature’s skin treatment – it’s great for sensitive or eczema-prone skin.” With psoriasis, cell turnover is high, so replenishing it with minerals that the body has used up could explain why bathing in salty sea water helps so many people. RELATED: The 6 Science-Backed Benefits of Living Simply Additionally, the sea air contains a mist of saline water, which appears to have a soothing effect on the respiratory system’s mucosal lining. So, people living with health conditions such as sinusitis could benefit from living by the sea. It seems those Victorians were really onto something! 4. A more active, and therefore healthier, lifestyle A 2014 study from the UK found that coastal proximity increased your chances of being fitter and healthier than those who lived elsewhere – partly due to the fact that those living closer to the sea have higher levels of physical activity. Indeed, the study found that you’re more likely to exercise regularly if you live within 1km of the English coastline. “Physical health improvements are another potential benefit of living by the sea. Sea water is rich in minerals, many of which have curative and anti-inflammatory effects on the skin.” Of course, the sea offers up the opportunity for swimming during warmer months, but the water also provides the chance to get involved in other sports all year round such as sailing, surfing or paddleboaring. Likewise, the coastline provides the perfect opportunity to keep fit through jogging, running and hiking. Dr Elliott from the University of Exeter told Coast magazine: “We know that when people go to the beach, there are opportunities to be physically active and people are more likely to stay there for longer. Physical activity has a strong effect on mental health, and when combined with being in a natural, coastal environment, these effects become even stronger.” Coastal living: the takeaway It's clear from research that there are various benefits of living by the sea for both our mental and physical health. Studies suggest that it can help with depression and that a coastal environment offers up more chance for physical fitness. So, while we all enjoy our holidays by the sea, could a more permanent move to the coast benefit us? Science seems to suggest it does. Dr Elliott said: “the cumulative effect of actually living by the sea could have a much greater effect in the longer term.” ● Main image: shutterstock/I-ing happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Family activities | Benefits of gardening Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness.com magazine, as well being an artist and travel lover. He also loves hiking, nature, swimming, yoga, sweaty dancing, and all things vintage!

From kundalini to loving-kindness, meditation styles can be very personal. Ed Gould looks at seven factors such as duration, location and frequency of meditation, which may affect your personal practice, to help you choose the right meditation type for you. Discovering a personal meditation style might take a while, but the benefits are definitely worth it. Indeed, developing one's personal meditation style rarely comes immediately. Even Buddha, by all accounts a naturally gifted meditator, needed time to develop his technique. In this article, we'll discuss what influences there are on our meditation practice. We'll also discuss what techniques we can use to enhance individual practices while diminishing those things which detract us. Remember that meditation is a transformative practice – one that affects our brains and consciousness – and it's best to view it as a process rather than a goal in its own right. At its best, the benefits of meditation can be seen in areas such as concentration, finding clarity and improving emotional well-being. Therefore, finding the meditative route that suits you best is generally quite rewarding. To begin with, let's examine the things that influence our abilities when developing our own personal meditation style. Factors that influence personal meditation styles Most of us, if we're honest about it, have plenty of things that influence our personal meditation style. Bear in mind that these can carry both positive and negative influences. Few of us have lives which allow us, for example, to get into a meditative state at the drop of a hat. Each of these fields of influence makes us the sort of practitioner that we are. Fresh and free: perhaps meditation in nature is your preferred style? When you're seeking a meditation style that will suit your development, lifestyle and personality best, then it's likely you will need to experiment a little. When doing so, try not to think of there being either a right or a wrong way of doing things. What you should remember, however, is that influences have an impact on you and they will ultimately affect your chosen approach to meditation. 1. Types of meditation There are many different meditation styles which you might choose to practise. And although experts may recommend one method over another, you'll find one or more that can work particularly well for your process. Conversely, certain meditative styles may not suit you or, more correctly, suit your personal approach to meditation. Many times, beginners start with guided meditation, usually based on a visual narrative. RELATED: Meditation for beginners: our Top 6 videos Kundalini and heart-rhythm meditation are both popular styles. Zazen meditation is also quite common – a Zen approach which is self-guided. A high-level form of meditation known as transcendental meditation is also popular. Each style will have an impact on how you go about meditation and it's quite common to experiment with differing approaches. 2. Length of meditation time According to Hooria Jazaieri, a researcher, teacher and psychotherapist at UC Berkeley, the length of time you meditate will impact on how successful it will be for the individual. She asserts that 10-15 minutes of mindfulness and compassion-based meditation is the right length of time for her style. Research published into how long it took smokers to reduce their intake following meditation sessions found that a mere five hours' worth over a two-week period was enough in the majority of cases. “When you're seeking a meditation style that will suit your development, lifestyle and personality best, then it's likely you will need to experiment a little.” Y.Y. Tang, et al. showed that even brief meditation training improved their group's capacity for self-control and lessened their smoking. If you're still unsure as to whether the time you spend meditating has an impact, then consider another study first published in the Journal of Psychiatry Research. The study claims that the density of brain matter in areas associated with memory, stress and empathy can increase following regular 30-minute meditation sessions. 3. Frequency of meditation Of course, you should also take into account the length of time you meditate for in the context of how frequently you do it. For some, 10 minutes a day is enough and it becomes part of a personal, daily routine. Perhaps longer periods are required if you're less frequent with your sessions. RELATED: Yes, You Can Meditate Lying Down. Here's How and Why In fact, there are studies to back this simple idea up. They show that the sample groups that get the most out of meditation are the ones who do it most frequently. A notable example of this sort of research into frequency is one published in the Journal of Positive Psychology following work conducted at Stanford University. Power of one: some people prefer solo meditation, others group 4. Qualitative considerations Not all meditation sessions can be described as great successes. Sometimes the quality of the meditation session we have gone through can be stunning and sometimes less so. Usually, there's an outside influence on us which has an impact on the quality of the meditation. You can become distracted by noise or visual stimuli. Perhaps you started to meditate too soon after being busy with something else. It's also possible you so desired a successful meditation that you couldn't clear your mind as you would have liked. “Being in a place that you're comfortable in and that's distraction free is an obvious choice for developing your personal meditation style.” As creatures of habit, humans like to repeat what they've deemed to be 'successful'. But the truth is that it's not always possible to do this with meditation. Acceptance of the 'outcome' of a meditation session is a big part of whether it has been successful or not. Furthermore, no single meditation session should come into judgement based on its own merits. Each one progresses to the next and builds on the previous. So over-scrutiny of qualitative factors may be a detrimental consideration on its own. 5. Meditation settings Being in a place that you're comfortable in and that's distraction-free is an obvious choice for developing your personal meditation style. The ability to cut out 'mental noise' is often very conducive to meditation. However, you should also consider that busy places can also be fine for meditatively-minded people. In fact, meditation in schools – not places you might traditionally associate with calmness – has had good results. Try multiple settings to find which place suits your preferred personal meditation style. Remember that a setting is not necessarily a physical location, such as being at home. It might relate to other factors, like the presence of others. Another consideration would be to have a dedicated spot or a useful place which also serves other purposes. 6. Reflection and feedback Reflection is the key to understanding your own style. It's perhaps unrealistic to immediately know what has made a difference to your meditation right after completing a session. Therefore, keeping a journal of your reflections about your meditation sessions can be invaluable. Perhaps you feel the same after a session as you did before, but cannot say why. Journaling is the ideal method to use in order to work out what similarities of technique, setting and qualitative considerations there are in common between meditations. Write it out: journaling your meditation has benefits Unlike journaling, modern neurofeedback devices provide actual quantitative measurements of brain activity during meditation, and this can be very telling if you're looking for some hard data to work with. According to Tracy Brandmeyer of the Centre for Brain Research and Cognition at Paul Sabatier University in Toulouse, neurofeedback is an aid to meditation which offers the opportunity to use mobile technology in ways that assist all sorts of people. RELATED: Gratitude meditation: the top 5 benefits and how to practise it If you meditate in a group or with a mentor, feedback sessions are also a beneficial option. Members of the group or your mentors can discuss what influences your meditation has. They can also help clarify what may work better for you and what might not. 7. Self-optimization and mindfulness Making meditation a kind of target to be achieved runs contrary to many of the principles it's supposed to engender when practised. Indeed, developing a personal meditation style as a self-optimization goal is the very opposite of self-compassion. As such, striving for it can be counter productive. On the other hand, if you develop your own style along the way to a wider set of meditative purposes, then you may find more success. Focussing on short-term aspirations about your personal meditation style can also have adverse outcomes. If you have a fragile mental state or are suffering from trauma, then being overly determined to develop your own style may not be the correct path to take. Research conducted by Willoughby Britton at Brown University has already indicated that meditation can have a negative effect on certain people. Remain mindful of what the purpose of meditation is and remember that it's a progression, not an ambition. Personal meditation types: conclusions No two people are the same, so no two approaches to meditation will yield the same results. For many people, reflecting on the way they're going about meditating by journaling is beneficial, as is trying new approaches that will help to find a suitably accessible style. Consider all of the options available to you and don't be put off experimenting a little with your chosen personal meditation practice! ● Main photo: Colorbox.com Enjoyed this and want to discuss meditation styles with other happiness.com members? Head over to our forum on mindfulness and meditation and join in with the conversation... Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's a practitioner of Reiki.

Hast du manchmal Schwierigkeiten, im Jetzt zu leben? Dann können dir diese zehn Achtsamkeitszitate von spirituellen Lehrern helfen, dich zu erden. Erinnere dich an sie, wenn du dich in der Vergangenheit oder der Zukunft verlierst. Von Calvin Holbrook. Dieser Artikel erschien im Original im englischen happiness Magazin. In den letzten Jahren hat die Botschaft über die Kraft der Achtsamkeit einen Boom erlebt. Zu Recht, wie wir finden. Denn indem du Achtsamkeit übst, kannst du bewusster und empfänglicher dafür sein, wie du dich fühlst und welche Realität dich umgibt. Achtsam zu bleiben ist eine Möglichkeit, Freude und Erfüllung in alltäglichen Dingen zu finden. Dies kann einen erheblichen Beitrag zu deinem allgemeinen Glück leisten. In der Tat können wir durch das Üben von Achtsamkeit geduldiger werden und auch unsere Beziehungen zu geliebten Menschen positiv verändern. Mit Achtsamkeit wächst Freundlichkeit, Mitgefühl und Verständnis. In einfachen Worten bedeutet Achtsamkeit, sich dessen bewusst zu sein, was gerade mit dir und deiner Umgebung geschieht, ohne sich zu wünschen, dass es anders wäre - selbst wenn es trivial oder negativ scheint. Achtsamkeit bedeutet auch, dein Leben zu akzeptieren und nicht kritisch oder wertend zu sein. Im Wesentlichen ist das Üben von Achtsamkeit einfach und unkompliziert, aber es kann einige Zeit dauern, bis es gelingt. Inspiration in Form von Achtsamkeitszitaten kann dir helfen, die Vorteile der Praxis zu erkennen und dir die Kraft zu geben, weiterzumachen. Die folgenden Zitate stammen von vielen Experten auf dem Gebiet der Achtsamkeit und Meditation. Wenn du tiefer über die Bedeutung dieser Zitate nachdenkst, wirst du inspiriert, jeden Tag achtsames Verhalten zu üben. Mit der Zeit wirst du - und deine Mitmenschen - die Vorteile spüren. Achtsamkeitszitate Erinnere dich an diese zehn Zitate über Achtsamkeit, um dich zu inspirieren und zu erden, wenn das Leben dich aus dem gegenwärtigen Moment herausholt. Konzentriere dich und bringe deinen Geist zurück ins Jetzt. 1. "Wo immer du bist, sei ganz dort." Eckhart Tolle Der in Deutschland geborene Eckhart Tolle ist ein spiritueller Lehrer und Autor. Er ist einer der meistzitierten Menschen, wenn es um Achtsamkeit geht. Dieses Zitat fasst die Essenz der Achtsamkeit zusammen: ganz im Moment zu sein, in dem du dich befindest. Das funktioniert in einer mentalen oder emotionalen Umgebung: Was auch immer deine Stimmung oder dein Gefühl ist, erkenne es an und akzeptiere, dass es im Moment so ist. Erzwinge keine Änderungen (es wird irgendwann vergehen). Dieses Achtsamkeits-Zitat gilt auch für deinen physischen Standort oder deine Situation. Zum Beispiel kannst du im Moment mit deiner Lebenssituation unzufrieden sein, aber es kann hilfreich sein, deine Situation einfach zu akzeptieren und nicht zu beurteilen. Alles wird sich verändern. In einem positiveren Sinne, wenn du einen Spaziergang am Meer genießt oder ein Waldbad nimmst, sei wirklich da: Nimm die Sehenswürdigkeiten, Geräusche und Gerüche von allen Dingen um dich herum auf. Schenk dem Leben deine ungeteilte Aufmerksamkeit. 2. „Du kannst die Wellen nicht stoppen, aber du kannst lernen zu surfen.“ Jon Kabat-Zinn Dieses Achtsamkeits-Zitat von Jon Kabat-Zinn müsste eines unserer beliebtesten sein - und wir sollten es oft in unseren Gedanken wiederholen. Kabat-Zinn ist in der westlichen Welt weithin als Vater der Achtsamkeit anerkannt. Er ist auch der Schöpfer des ursprünglichen MBSR-Kurses (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction). Dieses bekannte Zitat von ihm fasst zusammen, wie man mit den Höhen und Tiefen des Lebens gut umgehen kann. Die Wellen repräsentieren die vielen - und unaufhaltsamen - Veränderungen und Herausforderungen des Lebens. Wenn wir mit unruhiger See konfrontiert sind, können wir, anstatt in ihnen zu ertrinken, auf unser Surfbrett steigen. Wir können lernen, mit ihnen umzugehen, indem wir auf den Wellen reiten. Wir werden wahrscheinlich viele Male von unserem Surfbrett fallen, aber wir können es immer und immer wieder versuchen. Mit etwas Übung lernen wir, wie wir besser durch die sich ständig verändernden Gewässer des Lebens navigieren können. Übrigens: Wir bieten einen kostenlosen MBSR-Kurs in unserer happiness Akademie an! 3. „Sei in diesem Moment glücklich, das ist genug. Wir brauchen nicht mehr, als diesen Moment.“ Mutter Theresa Dieses Achtsamkeits-Zitat der Nonne und Missionarin Mutter Teresa lehrt uns, den Moment zu genießen und nicht mehr zu wollen als das, was wir haben. Manchmal kann es schwierig sein, das Jetzt vollständig zu erfassen und sich keine Sorgen mehr um die Zukunft zu machen, aber dieses Zitat erinnert uns daran, dass wir versuchen sollten, einfach und in der Gegenwart zu leben. Es erinnert uns auch daran, dass wir Dankbarkeit für das üben sollten, was wir haben, egal wie wenig das erscheinen mag. Indem wir im Leben immer dankbarer sind, können wir weniger egozentrisch und materialistisch werden und insgesamt glücklicher mit unserem Leben werden. 4. „Gefühle kommen und gehen wie Wolken am Himmel. Das achtsame Atmen ist mein Anker im Hier und Jetzt. “ Thích Nhất Hạnh Als eine der einflussreichsten Figuren in den Bereichen Achtsamkeit, Meditation und Buddhismus hat die Weisheit von Thích Nhất Hạnh unzählige Zitate über Achtsamkeit geliefert, aber dieses ist eines meiner Favoriten. In diesem Zitat geht es darum, zentriert zu bleiben und uns durch Meditation auf unseren a zu konzentrieren, trotz aller Veränderungen oder Verstimmungen in unserem Geist. Indem du deine Aufmerksamkeit auf deinen Atem lenkst, kannst du einen beschäftigten oder unruhigen Geist beruhigen und ein Gleichgewicht herstellen. 5. „Die Frage ist nicht, ob es ein Leben nach dem Tod gibt. Die Frage ist, ob du vor dem Tod lebendig bist.“ Osho Der indische Mystiker Osho war ein kontroverser Charakter, aber an diesem Achtsamkeits-Zitat ist nichts zu diskutieren: Wir stimmen ihm hierbei 100%ig zu! So viele von uns eilen durch das Leben, sind mit Dingen beschäftigt, die wir tun müssen: Arbeit, Rechnungen bezahlen, Kinder betreuen usw. Dabei vergessen wir inne zuhalten und die Welt zu betrachten. Achtsam zu sein bedeutet, sich bewusst zu sein, anzuhalten, um jeden Moment des Lebens zu schätzen, anstatt ihn in halsbrecherischer Geschwindigkeit zu überleben. "Wenn du dich von Achtsamkeitszitaten inspirieren lässt, kannst du Vorteile erkennen und erhältst die Kraft, weiterzumachen." Dieses Achtsamkeitszitat ist eine Erinnerung daran, dich zu fragen, ob du wirklich dein wahres, authentisches Leben führen. Tust du die Dinge, die dich im Leben glücklich machen, oder bist du ein Sklave deines Lohnzettels? Setzt du all deine Fähigkeiten ein und bist die beste Person, die du sein kannst? Achtsamkeit kann ein großartiges Werkzeug sein, um inne zu halten und zu bewerten, ob du vor dem Tod wirklich am Leben bist! 6. „Blicke über deine Gedanken hinaus und trinke den reinen Nektar dieses Augenblicks.“ Rumi Rumi war ein persischer Dichter, der 1207 geboren wurde. Bücher seiner Gedichte wurden in den letzten Jahren millionenfach verkauft, was ihn zu einem der beliebtesten Dichter in den Vereinigten Staaten macht. Ziemlich gut für jemanden, der vor 800 Jahren gelebt hat! Dieses Achtsamkeits-Zitat von Rumi zeigt, warum seine Sprüche so beliebt sind. Unglaublich: Experten schätzen, dass der durchschnittliche Verstand zwischen 60.000 und 80.000 Gedanken pro Tag denkt. Einige dieser Gedanken beinhalten Kleinigkeiten wie das, was wir zum Frühstück essen wollen. Andere, tiefere Gedanken können uns den ganzen Tag durch den Kopf gehen, wie negative Gedanken über die Vergangenheit (Wiederkäuen) und Sorgen um die Zukunft. Das Problem ist: Wenn wir uns auf unsere Gedanken konzentrieren, verpassen wir, was gerade in unserem Leben passiert. Hier und Jetzt. In diesem Moment. VERWANDTES THEMA: Im Hier und Jetzt leben - mit Übungen für mehr Achtsamkeit und Selbstliebe Wenn du das Gebrabbel deiner Gedanken durch Achtsamkeit beruhigst, kannst du aufhören zu überdenken und im gegenwärtigen Moment leben. So kannst du das Leben genießen und glücklicher sein. 7. „Wir haben nur diesen gegenwärtigen Moment, nur diesen einzigartigen und ewigen Augenblick, der sich vor unseren Augen öffnet und entfaltet, Tag und Nacht.“ Jack Kornfield Dieses Zitat von Jack Kornfield - Lehrer, Schriftsteller und einer der führenden Befürworter des Buddhismus in der westlichen Welt - fasst eines der Schlüsselelemente der Achtsamkeit zusammen: das Leben im gegenwärtigen Moment. Vergangenheit ist Vergangenheit; wir können es nicht ändern, wir können nur aus unseren Fehlern lernen und versuchen, vorwärts zu kommen. Ebenso können wir versuchen, bis zu einem gewissen Grad für die Zukunft zu planen. Aber das Leben hat die Angewohnheit, diese Pläne zu stören. Letztlich haben wir wirklich nur diesen Moment, in dem wir jetzt leben, und deshalb sollten wir uns darauf konzentrieren und das Beste daraus machen. 8. "Die einzige Art zu leben besteht darin, jede Minute als unwiederholbares Wunder zu akzeptieren." Tara Brach Dieses Achtsamkeits-Zitat der angesehenen Lehrerin und Autorin Tara Brach wiederholt im Wesentlichen die Aussage der obigen Zitate. Wir müssen schätzen lernen, dass unsere Zeit auf der Erde begrenzt ist und wir sollten jede Minute optimal nutzen. Dieses Zitat weist auch auf die Kraft der Dankbarkeit hin und schlägt vor, dass wir für das Geschenk des Lebens und all die Wunder, das es bringt, dankbar sein sollten. Wenn Probleme und Gedanken deine Stimmung und deinen Geist trüben, erinnere dich an dieses Achtsamkeits-Zitat. Versuche wieder, jeden Moment deiner Existenz zu schätzen. 9. „Das Paradies ist kein Ort; Es ist ein Bewusstseinszustand.“ Sri Chinmoy Allzu oft suchen wir nach unserer eigenen Vorstellung vom Paradies: sei es in Form unseres Traumhauses, eines exotischen Urlaubs oder der perfekten Beziehung. Natürlich ist es großartig, Träume zu haben, nach denen wir streben können. Aber wir dürfen die Idee nicht vernachlässigen, dass wir mit dem, was wir bereits haben, glücklich sein können. Es ist unsere mentale Einstellung, die eine Quelle des Friedens und der Zufriedenheit sein kann. Wenn wir ein friedliches, bewusstes und konfliktfreies Bewusstsein erreichen, kann es uns große Freude bereiten. Das Üben von Achtsamkeit kann uns helfen, diesen Zustand zu erreichen. Dieses Zitat des indischen spirituellen Führers Sri Chinmoy erinnert uns daran, dass Glück eine Reise ist, kein Ziel. 10. "Achtsamkeit ist nicht schwierig, wir müssen uns nur daran erinnern, achtsam zu sein." Sharon Salzberg Die Bestsellerautorin Sharon Salzberg hat viele Meditations- und Achtsamkeitsbücher geschrieben und unterrichtet seit 1974 Meditation. Sie ist also ziemlich gut aufgestellt, um über die Schwierigkeit - oder Leichtigkeit - des Übens von Achtsamkeit sprechen zu können. In der Tat ist Salzbergs Zitat genau richtig. Achtsamkeit an sich zu üben ist nicht schwierig, da es einfach eine Art zu Sein ist, die nicht wirklich Zeit kostet. Das Training unseres Gehirns, um sich daran zu erinnern, jederzeit achtsam zu bleiben, kann jedoch eine größere Herausforderung sein, insbesondere wenn achtsames Verhalten für uns neu ist. Wir können unser Verhalten jedoch schrittweise ändern und dieses Achtsamkeits-Zitat erinnert daran. ● Nach welchen dieser Achtsamkeitszitate lebst du dein Leben? Begleiten dich noch andere, die du teilen möchtest? Lass es uns in den Kommentaren unten wissen. Möchtest du mit Gleichgesinnten über Achtsamkeit sprechen? Dann schau doch mal in unserem Forum vorbei! Geschrieben von Calvin Holbrook aus dem Englischen von Veronika Eicher Calvin ist der Herausgeber des happiness.com-Magazins, Künstler und Liebhaber von alten Dingen. Er geht gerne Schwimmen, macht Yoga und tanzt gerne zu House- und Techno-Musik. Hier erfährst du mehr über Calvin.

As well as the usual physical and mental benefits, practising yoga can be a useful tool in healing trauma and PTSD. Sienna Saint-Cyr tried out trauma sensitive yoga and Neurogenic Yoga™ and shares her experience. According to Yoga Journal, there are 38 health benefits to having a daily yoga practice. There are the potential physical gains, such as increased flexibility, lymph node drainage, boosted circulation and lowered blood pressure. And then there's the mental aspects of health such as increased focus and the relief of anxiety and depression. Healing trauma through yoga is also something that can be achieved, using the practice of trauma sensitive yoga. The Yoga Journal isn’t alone in its claims. Organizational bodies including the American Osteopathic Association share its views on yoga in relation to physical and mental health. With the benefits of yoga become increasingly clear, it's no surprise that in recent years there has been a massive surge in interest in yoga within Western culture. However, while this 'yoga boom' was a positive step, there are now so many types and styles that it can often be difficult to find one that works well for you. Healing trauma with yoga I have a saying: “Yoga is as personal as underwear.” It either fits us and our needs or it doesn’t. For most folks, exploring various YouTube channels or videos is enough. For others, it's going to gym classes or local yoga studios. But for anyone with trauma, especially if it’s something like PTSD, these methods of exploration become intolerable, if not impossible. For many people, it's difficult to find peace while being constantly worried about the people in the room who might potentially touch them or when it's suddenly becomes too loud. Or when getting too close is anything but relaxing: having a panic attack in the middle of class isn’t the desired effect! With trauma sensitive yoga, you can leave the class without fear Trauma sensitive yoga: what is it? Thankfully, in 2002, a man named David Emerson discovered he could treat trauma using yoga. He reached out to Dr. Bessel van der Kolk about his findings and desire to do more in the field. Together, they created a platform that would later become trauma sensitive yoga (TSY), specifically used to help people with trauma and PTSD. Over the course of several years, Emerson brought in different yoga instructors with varying expertise to assist in the development of the program. The National Institutes of Health even funded their trial. RELATED: Compassion yoga Trauma sensitive yoga is different from other yoga practices in many ways. Depending on the studio, the methods will vary, but usually, the classes are small. And, unlike traditional yoga classes where you might get some serious side eye for leaving mid-session and disturbing the peaceful atmosphere, anyone can quietly come and go as they need during trauma sensitive yoga. There's an understanding when you come to class about the sensitive nature of what's about to happen. “For many people with PTSD, it's difficult to find peace while being constantly worried about the people in the room who might potentially touch them.” The studio I tried, Samdhana-Karana Yoga, was very low pressure. The instructor was also a therapist and had worked with trauma patients before. She also had my therapist’s number and emergency contacts in case of triggering. The prep work that went into the class even before I began was like nothing I’d experienced before. This encouraged me to feel like I was in a safe space. Normally you can just show up at a studio or gym pay the fee and take the class. It's all quite impersonal for someone with trauma, in need of assurance that if something goes wrong, they're still in a safe space. Your body, your practice There's a lot of focus on ‘your body, your practice’. That helps the practitioner remember to honor their needs because it’s ‘their’ practice. Rather than performing traditional yoga poses, trauma sensitive yoga encourages people to move as they need to, with minimal and gentle hands-on guidance. Group gains: use yoga to help heal trauma Attendees are asked to pay attention to contact points, i.e. the point where your back touches the ground, or your feet or hands, how much pressure there is, and so on. There are often no hard yoga moves or poses because the focus is on making it a safe space for those with trauma to heal and experience mindfulness with yoga. There are some great videos on the TSY website that give brief examples of what trauma based yoga looks like. What is Neurogenic Yoga™? Trauma sensitive yoga isn’t the only option for trauma sufferers either. Another is Neurogenic Yoga™. While similar in many ways, Neurogenic Yoga™ stands out because it combines yoga asana and pranayama with the body’s natural, therapeutic shaking response. Why is that last part so important? Peter A. Levine, PhD, the developer of Somatic Experiencing and founder of the Foundation for Human Enrichment, has spent his life researching and treating trauma in patients. Some of his groundbreaking research includes the practice of releasing trauma through the body. “Unlike traditional yoga classes where you might get serious side eye for leaving mid-session, anyone can quietly come and go during trauma sensitive yoga.” In one of his books, In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness, Levine discusses how the body has a natural response to trauma. When our fight or flight responses don’t get to finish their cycle, we enter into so-called 'fawning or freezing', thus creating trauma and storing it within the body. Levine believes that by allowing the body to finish out the cycle of trauma – meaning allowing the body to shake when it needs to until it stops on its own – that we can heal our trauma. His book and research are phenomenal and I highly recommend them to anyone with trauma. So, Neurogenic Yoga™ including shaking into their trauma treatment is fantastic. While trauma sensitive yoga helps, people that have trauma from car accidents, military tours, and violent attacks need a bit more than just the relaxation. They need to be allowed to shake and move the body in a different sort of way to release that trauma physically. How trauma and a wandering mind relate Trauma and PTSD are tiring. The problem with trauma is that the sufferer is rarely present in their body. Pete Walker is another expert, specifically on Complex PTSD, and his studies into the Four F’s – fight, flight, freeze and fawn – explain a lot about why people with PTSD can seldom find relaxation. Rather than experience healthy and balanced responses with the Four F's – because we all have these responses – people with PTSD have two responses that they lean heavily on. So, sufferers can get trapped in constant fight and flight or freeze and fawn. This means we aren’t present in daily life. We’re stuck on the ‘spin’ of PTSD and trauma. And when we’re stuck spinning and unable to be present, we aren’t able to experience joy and happiness. Being present leads to happiness To dig into this a bit further, Science AAAS reported its findings on how being present leads to happiness, while mind wandering leads to unhappiness. This is different from a popular assumption that unhappiness leads to mind wandering. While mood can certainly lead to focusing on the past or future, it's not, in itself, the cause of unhappiness. It’s the focus on past and future, an unhealthy rumination, that leads to the unhappiness. RELATED: Jill Satterfield, a mindful approach to yoga The Science AAAS article wraps with: “In conclusion, a human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind. The ability to think about what is not happening is a cognitive achievement that comes at an emotional cost.” Trauma sensitive yoga can assist with pulling the practitioner into the present using gentle and non-threatening ways. For people with trauma, they mostly live in the past or in a place of fear surrounding the future. It's this lack of being present that directly relates to their unhappiness. The beauty of trauma sensitive yoga is that it takes you out of this place of fear. It trains your body to remake past experiences and to release them in a physically productive way. No matter which method you try – trauma sensitive yoga or Neurogenic Yoga™ – taking part in trauma based yoga can make a huge difference to your experience. It can also assist in finding your own breath; a breath that brings peace in with each in-breath and releases tension and stress with every out-breath. Trauma based yoga teaches those who aren’t generally present in their own body, how to do just that. If you are living with trauma or PTSD, then I believe that trauma sensitive yoga can work wonders. It can lead to a life full of joy and happiness through a daily practice of being present and living in the moment. ● Main image: Colorbox.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Hatha yoga | Yin yoga | Meditation | Mindfulness Written by Sienna Saint-Cyr Sienna Saint-Cyr is an author, advocate, and the founder of SinCyr Publishing. She speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on the importance of having a healthy body image, understanding enthusiastic consent, using sexuality to promote healing, navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships, having trauma, Complex PTSD, and more. Sienna loves sharing her journey of healing and finding happiness with her readers. Along with writing erotica and romance, Sienna speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on such sex-positive topics as a healthy body image, using sexuality to promote healing, and navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships. She writes for several websites. Find out more.

Making connections with like-minded souls isn't easy, but it's not beyond your reach, whatever your age. From always saying 'yes' to volunteering, Dee Marques explores seven ways you can find your tribe and meet the group of friends that have always got your back. Back in 2019, the term loneliness epidemic was making headlines as researchers realised how a pervasive feeling of disconnection affected people of all ages. Since then, the fallout from the pandemic has deepened this feeling of isolation and disconnection for many people. Even if you keep to yourself and aren’t particularly sociable – as is my case – chances are you’ve been left with an unsettling feeling and with the need to find your tribe. But often, this is easier said than done. Why does finding your tribe seem so hard? Finding your tribe may be easier when we’re teenagers or young adults. But as we grow older, our life paths can diverge, friendships fade, and there comes a point where you realise you may no longer have a lot in common with those you used to call your tribe. The overuse of technology these days could also make it harder to find your tribe. On one hand, it may seem that connecting with others is easier, since the internet eliminates geographical barriers. One aim of social media is to bring together like-minded people, so in theory such platforms could be a good place to go and find your tribe. But in practice, studies point to the link between social media use and social anxiety, loneliness and isolation. Indeed, social media and the internet has to be used in the right way when it comes to finding your tribe. It's never too late to find your tribe Having said that, finding your tribe is definitely possible, even if it takes planning and breaking down some common misconceptions. Let's have a deeper look at how to find your tribe and feel connected to others. How to find your tribe: getting started Before you can try to find your tribe, you should know what exactly qualifies as “a tribe”. In anthropology, the term “tribe” is used to define a small group of people who are bound together by strong ties, like speaking a common language, living in the same territory, or sharing political or religious beliefs. Interestingly, note that there’s no mention of hobbies in this technical description, which suggests that real tribes are held together better by deeply held ideals or motivations. Indeed, the glue that keeps tribe members close to each other is made up of more meaningful things, like values or purpose in life. • JOIN US! Sign up today and make new friends at happiness.com • What this means is that the first step towards finding your tribe involves having a clear idea of the things you deeply cherish. In other words, we need to know ourselves before we can find our tribe. This will require some self-work, perhaps even doing some shadow work before connecting with others. Find yourself to find your tribe First of all, it’s important to challenge any assumptions we may have about ourselves and our ability to relate to others. For example, if you think people find you boring, your lack of confidence will show and you’ll most likely appear as a boring person – even if you’re not. So, how comfortable are you being yourself is an important question to ask, before you even ask how you can find your tribe. The second question to ask is: what exactly are you about? What’s your message to the world? We rarely ask these questions because they’re hard to answer and involve a lot of soul searching, but if you’re not 100 per cent sure about what you stand for, it will be difficult to find a tribe that resonates with you. “The first step towards finding your tribe involves having a clear idea of the things you deeply cherish. In other words, we need to know ourselves before we can find our tribe.” Next, you should set aside some time to think about the patterns you follow when you meet a new group of people. Do you try to adapt and fit to the majority, or do you try to impose your views? Both choices can interfere with the creation of genuine connections with others. And lastly, make sure you can give a concise answer to the question “What are you looking for in your tribe?” We often taken for granted that being part of a tribe is all about support and companionship, but these concepts don’t mean the same to everyone. Maybe you’re looking for a tribe that can support you through while you're dealing with a break-up or the loss of a loved one. Or maybe you want to find a group that helps you reach your professional or fitness goals? Seven steps to finding your tribe We’re all slightly different in how we approach and connect with others. So to make sure you have a range of options, here a list of things you can do to make new friends as an adult and find your tribe. 1. Join groups Earlier on I touched upon the isolating effect that social media can have. But that’s not to say that we shouldn’t spend any time online. Social networks and other websites can still be used to make the first connection with groups that could potentially become your tribe: we just need to stop the endless doom scrolling; instead focusing on the ways to better connect with others. So, make a list of groups that resonate with you, research them online, and join them offline too. But don’t just lurk in the shadows – make a conscious effort to introduce yourself, explain why you joined, what you’re looking for, and what type of support you offer too. Try new groups, such as hiking, to meet like-minded souls shutterstock/DisobeyArt 2. Say yes to everything! At first, you may be a bit wary of accepting invitations to meet group members, but you’ll never find your tribe if you hide behind a screen or say no by default. Even if someone suggests an activity that wouldn’t be your first choice, be open to all possibilities and don’t rule anything out. You may be positively surprised with the results. 3. Consider volunteering Psychologists know that acts of kindness usually benefit both giver and receiver. So, if you need deep connections and support, instead of searching for it for yourself, consider offering those things to others who may need them too. RELATED: Understanding the power of friendship Look around and you’ll see there’s no shortage of volunteering opportunities. To find a meaningful area, do some journaling to explore situations that were hard to cope with but you eventually overcame. Have you been abused, bullied, suffered from depression or anxiety? If so, you can use this to help others and find your tribe. These are powerful life experiences you already share, so you’re more likely to be on the same wavelength. 4. Sign up for a new class Exercise, poetry, meditation, creative writing, photography: anything that you’ve been wanting to do for a while could be used to meet like-minded people. There’s always a ring of excitement about learning new things, and this positive mood will probably be shared by others in your class. This type of environment is very conducive to developing new friendships and can be the starting point to finding your tribe. 5. Explore online communities Some special interest websites have realised the importance of community. For example, here at happiness.com we cover various aspects of wellness and self-improvement, but we’re pivoting our site to be more than just a place to find interesting blog posts. Instead, we want to the site to become a central point of connection where you’ll be able to but to find like-spirited people who share your ideals, way of life and priorities. “Sign up to a new class. This type of environment is very conducive to developing new friendships and can be the starting point to finding your tribe.” And, of course, our very own website, happiness.com, is an excellent place to connect with others on a similar wavelength and perhaps find a deeper sense of community. You can create a profile and find new friends based around your interests. Perhaps you're interested in tarot reading, feng shui, philosophy or non-duality, and have struggled to find people that share your passions? Just add your interests to your profile and you can reach out to other members that are into the same thing to start a conversation. What's more, our happiness forums are an intelligent and curious way to share ideas and engage in discussions with people you may want to connect with on a more profound level. You can discover threads on all areas of well-being and modern life, such as conscious living, mental health, sexuality, etc. 6. Avoid being judgmental When we spending a lot of time alone, we tend to get settled into our own ways and it can be harder to accept whatever doesn’t fit into our perceived standards. One of the keys to finding your tribe is trying to stay open-minded and not jumping to conclusions about the people you meet. Indeed, as humans we label people based on stale pre-conceptions and rule them out as “too different” from us. But in reality, we never know the real person until we spend time and share experiences with them. So, don’t be judgmental and give them a chance – it’s only fair. 7. Be realistic A common misconception is that when you find your tribe, you’ll magically and instantly feel a strong connection to them and know that it was meant to be! However, even if there’s a strong affinity, we must remember that relationships are like plants: they need to be cultivated over a period of time to enjoy the beautiful fruits they produce. Along the way, there may be misunderstandings or less-than-perfect experiences. • SIGN UP! Join the caring happiness.com community and make new friends • Connections don’t have to be perfect, but offer meaningful companionship and support. Bear that in mind when reviewing your expectations. How to find your tribe and feel true belonging Don’t feel discouraged if you’ve struggled to connect with like-minded people for a while and don’t know how to find your tribe. If you do some soul searching and are realistic, open-minded and proactive, you can be sure that the doors to genuine connections will open, allowing to feel a true sense of belonging in the world. • Main image: shutterstock/Sabrina Bracher happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online Academy classes Deep listening | Trust | Loneliness | Empathy Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

While the news agenda is still largely dominated by Coronavirus, let's celebrate that there are still great things happening in our beautiful world. Ed Gould shares his Top Ten round-up from June to uplift and inspire. 1. Racially diverse plaster launched It's always been possible to buy clear plasters or those with differing tonal qualities, but one of the leading plaster brands, Band-Aid, has never produced products that were designed for all skin tones. Following a long-standing campaign that gathered momentum under the Black Lives Matter protests, Johnson & Johnson – which owns Band-Aid – has decided to alter its production. The company announced in June that it would now make at least five different coloured plasters. RELATED: Forum – anti-racism resources 2. Colourful harlequin toad found not to be extinct Often considered one of the most attractive amphibians, the Mindo harlequin toad was thought to have died out or, at least, to have been on the brink of extinction. This wonderfully camouflaged toad had been suffering from a fungal disease that had devastated its population. However, new sightings of the amphibian were reported in June, leading biologists to think that after three decades in the wilderness, the toad has finally developed resistance to the disease. The juvenile Harlequin toad. Alejandro Arteagath 3. Discovery in preventing brain damage in newborn babies According to News Medical, a team of researchers from Australia and China has been studying the effects of oxygen deprivation on the brains of babies as they're born. The scientists have discovered that a mitochondrial protein, known as COX5a, plays a pivotal role in helping to prevent brain damage when the oxygen supply is cut off or restricted. It's hoped that a new treatment can now be made to help infants undergoing difficult births which will protect their brains from oxygen deprivation-related damage. 4. Free psychology first aid training course As reported in Well + Good in June, John Hopkins University has launched an online course that anyone can sign up to. In response to some of the privations of lockdowns around the world, academics developed a psychological first responder programme. Part of the teaching involves helping people to acquire the skills to be more of a reflective listener. It's hoped the course will help people to make assessments of the mental well-being of those around them. It could, potentially at least, save many lives, as people know how to respond better to feelings of anxiety, depression and isolation. 5. Spontaneity has been found to make people happy As reported in the New York Post, being spontaneous is not just about living in the moment – it can make you feel happier, too. If you're the sort of person who likes to plan everything, then try a few more spur of the moment decisions: you could find that you feel happier as a result. This feel-good news story came after no fewer than 2,000 Americans were asked about their attitudes to spontaneity and happiness levels. Those who were more instinctive were found to suffer the least from unhappiness. Go off your trolley and get happier! shutterstock/Jacob Lund 6. Survey finds mindfulness lowers the severity of depression In a report published in Psychiatry Advisor, it has been scientifically shown that following a more mindful approach to life can help alleviate the worst symptoms of clinical depression. The study was based on a large survey that was conducted on people who had been following mindfulness-based compassionate living, or MBCL. The study took place in the Netherlands and it followed a group of individuals who had first been recruited back in 2013. The extensive survey found that those who followed MBCL were less likely, on average, to suffer from the most severe symptoms of depression. RELATED: Mindful behavior – 13 practical mindfulness tools for life 7. Ugandan company makes PPE from recycled materials There's been little feel-good news recently on the subject of medical personal protective equipment (PPE). Since demand has soared, most countries around the world have struggled to source adequate supplies, leaving many short of stock. However, in Uganda, a start-up business found that it was able to make PPE by recycling plastics. Old plastic was melted down and formed into face shields and other equipment, according to All Africa. The move is a big plus for the environment as well as healthcare workers who continue to be on the front line in the battle against the global pandemic. RELATED: Forum - navigating the COVID-19 pandemic 8. Dogs could help sniff out Covid-19 symptoms There have been few feel-good news stories about the global epidemic but a couple did come through in June. One related to Dexamethasone, a cheap medication that was found to significantly help severely affected patients. The other was that sniffer dogs have been found to be remarkably accurate in detecting the virus in people. According to the Guardian, our canine pals could even prove themselves to be more accurate in detecting the virus in its earlier stages than other methods, thereby helping to prevent the spread of the contagion. Paws for thought: dogs could sniff out COVID-19 shutterstock/aonip 9. Breakthrough in aggressive breast cancer made Researchers from Tulane University in New Orleans have announced that certain aggressive types of tumour can be stopped by turning off the function of a certain gene. Dr Reza Izadpanah, who led the research team, said that the gene – known as TRAF3IP2 – would play a big role as the target of new breast cancer treatments. Izadpanah said that by turning off the gene a disruptive effect on the metabolic pathways of cancer cells could be achieved. Medical News Today reported that 268,600 new cases of aggressive breast cancer were discovered in the USA alone last year, so this breakthrough is likely to have a big effect on future treatments. 10. Strong sun boosts renewable energy The sunny weather enjoyed in much of the northern hemisphere during June hasn't only been good for lifting people's lockdown spirits. It's also helped to produce lots of renewable electricity, too. Although solar farms work in any light conditions, sunny weather clearly makes them much more efficient. According to a report in Solar Power Portal, solar irradiation was one-and-a-half times its usual level in England recently which has meant that a lot more energy has been produced. Thanks to the UK's solar farms, around a third of the country's electricity was made from solar energy at peak times, thereby reducing the reliance on fossil fuels. ● What's your favourite feel-good news story from the past month? We'd love to hear your what you think below. Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.