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We often forget to be kind to ourselves, but being good to yourself is essential says psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović. Discover eight self-love techniques – such as forgiveness and setting boundaries – and improve your emotional well-being. 'Please be good to yourself' is something we would like to say to our loved ones when we witness them beating themselves up. Yet, we rarely take our own advice. Unlike compassion, self-kindness often feels unnatural. In today’s society of achievements, we succumb to rationing self-love as if it were something that needs to be painstakingly deserved. However, it is not. Self-love is dynamic and expands as we grow psychologically. It is not something that you can attain through a makeover, inspirational read, career achievements, or a new relationship. It is not simply feeling good or motivated to take on the world. It is knowing and accepting yourself, being comfortable with who you are. Being good to yourself means being autonomous and centred in your life purpose and values. This article will explore the science behind self-love and self-kindness, and give you eight research-based tips on how to be good to yourself. Why being good to yourself is essential Being good to yourself is a foundational tenet of many psychological interventions. The reason? It is an essential ingredient of well-being. Through self-love, both our minds and our bodies can function optimally. For a long time, researchers and practitioners were aware of the effects of self-kindness on psychological and physical health. A recent study revealed the mechanism behind its benefits. Being good to oneself switches off our threat response, calms our heart rate, and, overall, enables us to respond flexibly to situations. Be good to yourself: self-love is essential for well-being shutterstock/kues The threat (or, the fight or flight) response to stressful situations is adaptive to a point. However, for a modern human, on most occasions, this reaction is overly intensive. After all, there isn’t a prehistoric carnivore chasing us. So, consistently practising self-love and managing to switch this extreme automatic reaction off boosts our immune system. By doing so, we give ourselves the best chance of healing and prospering. Be good to yourself: 8 self-love techniques For the majority of people, the habit of being unconstructively self-critical is deeply engrained in their psyche. Most of us expect to see results (educational, professional, or social achievements) before we can begin to love ourselves. So, being good to yourself probably won’t become your default state of mind on its own. You need to commit to practising it. Here are eight techniques you can easily incorporate into your life. Try them and hopefully you will start to see a difference. 1. Practise mindfulness Even though it’s not a panacea, mindfulness remains at the top of the list of beneficial techniques in a variety of situations. It teaches us to observe our inner world without judgement. If you want to be good to yourself, fist yu need to accept whatever it may be that you’re feeling or thinking. Mindfulness gives us the necessary self-esteem and unconditional self-acceptance we need to feel comfortable with ourselves. 2. Be honest about your weaknesses Not being perfect stings. We know. We all have an image of the ideal self in our heads. Looking at the discrepancy between who we are and who we want to be is unpleasant at the very least. Nonetheless, to be good to yourself doesn’t mean lying, flattering, or turning a blind eye to your shortcomings. Self-love means not bashing yourself over your flaws. It means building a healthier response to your failures and imperfections. Accepting that you’re not impeccable will gradually lead you to a realistic image of your self-worth. 3. Speak sincere words of self-acceptance Once you’ve brought your weaknesses and emotions to the light of the day through being mindful and truthful, you can begin to shift your attitude. When you ignore or deny your limitations, you are giving the power away. Because you don’t want that, it’s time to come up with affirmations that will resonate with your true self. “'Be good to yourself' is much more than a phrase. It is a foundational tenet of many psychological interventions.” For example, you might be facing a difficult task. Trying to convince yourself that the idea of giving up does not tempt you probably won’t work. Instead, you could try saying: “Even though this feels hard, I will be gentle with myself and simply do my best”. If you’re struggling with creating your genuine self-love statements, try thinking about what you would need to hear from someone else. What kind of supportive sentence would you believe in? 4. Forgive and self-forgive Forgiveness liberates. It’s a pearl of ancient wisdom with strong support in modern-day research. An extensive review of studies on forgiveness found that if we find it in ourselves to replace the unforgiving emotions with empathy and compassion, our bodies and minds heal. Letting go of resentment means to be good to yourself. And what about self-forgiveness? When you forgive yourself, you open the doors to growing as a person. Whether you’re feeling guilty for hurting another, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or for holding on to unhealthy habits, let go of self-hate. Forgiving yourself frees you from unconstructive self-condemnation. 5. Know your values To be good to yourself means more than self-acceptance and self-forgiveness. It means working towards fulfilling your purpose as well. Once you’ve come to peace with who you are and abandoned self-loathing, the need to realise your potentials will naturally come to the front. Forgiveness is a big part of self-love and being good to yourself shutterstock/HBRH This is when you need to be clear on what your core values are. You can try one of the life coaching tools freely available such as the “What I really value in life” or “Values and purpose” exercise to help you define what it is that moves you. 6. Practise good self-care Self-love and good self-care are closely connected. You are more likely to make healthy lifestyle choices when you’re happy with yourself and your life. This association can also work the other way round. If you commit to taking good care of yourself, you will build the basis for loving yourself more. Be good to yourself, eat healthily, exercise, sleep better, surround yourself with well-minded people, and pursue interests. But remember, it’s also very important not to be harsh on yourself when you fail to do those things. Being a perfectionist will only cause you to beat yourself up, instead of making you feel good. 7. Stop comparing yourself In the age of social media and all-around self-promotion, our natural inclination to compare ourselves to others has become enormously amplified. We all know that people carefully edit what they display online (and in person, for that matter). Nonetheless, we are still affected by the contrast between our real lives and what we see out there. “'Being good to yourself probably won't become your default state of mind on its own. You need to commit to practising it.” Comparing yourself to others can make you vulnerable to anxiety, low self-esteem and depression. So, stop doing it. Spend your energy on living intentionally instead. 8. Set boundaries We all do it sometimes – we bend over backwards. We do it for our career, friends, family, or simply because we were raised to do so. Although it is praiseworthy to be selfless, the truth is – you cannot live a healthy life without healthy limits. Well-being depends on feeling like you’re in control and being assertive (among other things, of course). Therefore, you cannot keep pulling out all your stops for every single person or project. You need to set boundaries and protect your integrity. Make your love for yourself a lifelong romance As you might have noticed, we’re not proposing narcissistic self-love based on a delusory image of your saint-like grandness — quite the opposite. The foundation of self-love is authenticity. So, to love yourself, know yourself. Accept, do not judge - but always seek ways to grow and improve. Be kind and forgiving to yourself. Live a life that is in line with your values and work towards your ideal self. In that way, self-love becomes the spring from which your contribution to the world will flow. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online Academy classes Healthy habits | Self care | Quality time Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Like most of us, Dee Marques spent more time inside at home in 2020. It gave her the opportunity to discover the power of pottering – leisurely carrying out small tasks and activities without pressure. Here she shares the benefits it can bring to you... This year’s lockdowns have seen many of us spending time indoors and trying to keep ourselves entertained at home. This can be a challenge for those who are used to an active or outdoorsy lifestyle spent in nature, as it can be tough to find meaningful things to do. I struggled with this too, until a friend said she kept herself occupied by simply pottering around her house most of the day. I tried it, and found it too rewarding to keep it all to myself! What exactly is pottering? Pottering around is all about keeping busy at a leisurely pace, without feeling the need to have specific plans for things that need to be achieved. It’s about letting your eyes wander and finding things that could be done, instead of having a pre-planned list of tasks in your mind. So, in my case, I started by sorting my fabric stash by colour and then moved onto my button stash. Next, I went to the kitchen to make myself a coffee and put all the bagged spices into glass jars, then picked some rosemary from the garden and set it to dry. That’s what it’s like to potter: finding enjoyable tasks that don’t feel like a chore; little jobs you want to do, not tasks that you have to do. Tidying your wardrobe is a perfect pottering task shutterstock/Kostikova Natalia Pottering around is also about choosing activities that you can look back on and admire or enjoy, and about allowing yourself to jump from one thing to another without feeling guilty about it. However, scrolling down your phone or sitting in front of the TV doesn't count as pottering! Indeed, keep your pottering digital free as much as possible and you’ll find it much more rewarding this way. So, why give pottering a go? I’ve come to think of pottering as a coping strategy. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed, busy, or anxious, and please raise your hand if you haven’t felt any of these emotions this year! There’s no right way of dealing with these feelings, so the more tools we have, the better our ability to weather any storm will be. In fact, pottering can really help when we feel outside of our comfort zone. How? Here are a few examples: - Pottering about includes some elements of mindfulness, such as the commitment to be intentional and aware of the present. It’s also similar to mindfulness in that it’s a conscious way of using our time, encourages relaxation and non-striving. indeed, there’s enormous freedom in realizing that we don’t always have to fill our spare time trying to achieve something. Potter around for a while and you’ll start to discover pleasure and beauty in small things. In my case, I realised how rewarding it was to arrange fabric by colour; how delightful it was to find little differences in colour shade or intensity. It’s something I’d probably have never experienced if I hadn’t decided to potter about, and for that I am grateful. It can help you learn to pace your routine and slow down a notch. It’s so relieving to finally understand that we don’t always have to be speeding onto the next thing and running from deadline to deadline. Time is a luxury, so treat yourself by learning to take things slowly. Pottering isn’t goal-oriented and so it can be considered part of slow living, which has multiple benefits, from better digestive health to a more positive mindset. Linked to this is the fact that pottering can help us re-assess what it means to be productive. You can say there’s 'normal' (or productive) time and time to potter about. Both have their own advantages, but the thing with productive time is that we can only keep at it for so long before fatigue or burnout set in. This is why it’s important to balance it with time to just potter around. I’ve already said that pottering isn't doing nothing at all, it’s an active pursuit that entails movement without the rush we usually associate with 'being on the move'. There’s plenty of evidence confirming the benefits of controlled and slow-paced physical movement. For example, practices like tai chi are sometimes described as 'medication in motion' that can reduce stress and improve cardiovascular health. You can jump straight into pottering, since you don’t need anything special to get started and it’s not like taking up a hobby that requires specific gear or tools. If you want to potter about, just look around and you’ll find plenty of simple things you can do with what you already have. “Potter around for a while and you’ll discover pleasure and beauty in small things. Pottering helps you learn to pace your routine and slow down a notch. You may want to have a look at this article, where Anna McGovern describes the benefits of pottering. She found herself overwhelmed by that familiar feeling of everything happening at the same time, struggling with a busy schedule, with personal and professional disappointment, and emotional exhaustion. To cope with the situation, she decided to set aside one day a week to just potter around. And, in her own words, making that decision changed her life, and in the end she published a book about it. Some ideas for potterers If you need some inspiration to get you started with pottering, here's a list of ideas to get you kick-started into action: Gardening or landscaping – without any pressure! It can be as simple as watering the plants, cutting a few herbs to use in the kitchen, or gathering a few evergreen branches to make a Christmas wreath. Going for a mindful walk. Writing a thank you note to a friend. Sorting out your fabric or yarn stash. Grinding favourite coffee beans. Neatly folding the clothes in your dresser. Organising your tool box. Decluttering. Cleaning and sorting the cutlery drawer. Hanging a bird feeder in your balcony or patio. Making some DIY potpourri. Enjoying your very own tea ceremony or ritual. Reorganising book shelves. Going through recipe books and finding new dishes to try. Polishing jewellery. Polishing wooden surfaces. Oiling those squeaky door hinges. Tackling “the bag of bags”: that plastic bag full of plastic bags we all have at home! Creating a music playlist for working, relaxing, or reading. Pottering around in the garden shutterstock/goodluz One last suggestion is to keep track of all the good things that happen once you allow yourself time to potter. This will generate awareness and appreciation for this way of using time, and you may discover something new about yourself too. Conclusion: the power of pottering Pottering around is a great coping strategy that you can turn into healing self-care sessions where you experience time without pressure and learn to just be. So, are you ready to become a potterer? Give it a try, discover the magic of pottering about, and find peace, contentment and happiness. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Stress management | Healthy habits | Simple living Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

In our busy, modern world it's all to easy to get distracted from the task in hand. Ann Vrlak outlines how meditation practices can improve your focus and boost concentration levels so you can get the job done and feel happier. A desire to improve mental focus is one of the most common reasons people want to learn meditation. In fact, improving concentration and focus may be more relevant to your everyday life than you think! There are two ingredients in a strong ability to focus: being able to direct your attention where you want it to be and keeping it there for a sustained period of time, regardless of anything else that might want to grab your attention. So, you need a stable, calm focus for things like: A work project you’re in charge of at the office. An important conversation with your partner or child. A creative project you're excited about. Thinking about work life balance, what’s most important to you and how you want to spend your precious time and energy. In all of these everyday situations, you just can’t be at your best when your mind is scattered: You won’t be able to move your project forward without the ability to focus on one thing at a time. If you can’t focus in a conversation, people won’t feel heard and that can cause disconnection and conflict with the people closest to you. Creativity invites you to go beneath the surface and connect with something deeper inside you that wants to be expressed. It’s very hard to do that when your mind is cluttered. To make wise, meaningful life decisions you need to hold many things in your focus: your intentions, values and hopes. You can improve focus at work with meditative techniques Luckily, focus is one of the core skills you learn through meditation. Each time you sit, you practise both parts of focus: putting your attention where you want it and keeping it there, in spite of any distractions. Why you might find it hard to focus When you practise meditation for focus, especially if you’re a beginner, you start to recognize what focus feels like and what lack of focus feels like, too! You learn what your unique distractions are: it could be anxiety, boredom, food, worry, or something else. You’ll learn, each time you sit to meditate, what keeps you from being present and focused. Related: Meditation for beginner's – our Top 6 videos That’s because meditation is a mirror, and it will show you how your mind operates, but usually outside of your conscious awareness. Once you are aware of it, you can begin to investigate, to understand and, if you want, to change or to heal. I don’t want you to think that your imperfect ability to focus is a personal failing. There are many pressures in the modern world that make it extra hard for us to see focus as something worthwhile, never mind being able to improve our focus. First of all, multitasking is very much the norm these days. Add in anxiety and stress, which are increasing in all age groups, even including children, sadly, and the ability to focus becomes harder still. “Focus is one of the core skills you learn through meditation. Each time you sit, you practise both parts of focus: putting your attention where you want it and keeping it there, in spite of any distractions.” Furthermore, thanks to the overabundance of information and entertainment channels available to us, we have all become conditioned to high levels of stimulation and information input. Experts say this information onslaught just isn’t healthy for our nervous system: it radically shortens our attention span and although we often turn to these outlets to relax, in fact, they increase anxiety levels. You can see how all these factors could work against your desire to strengthen your focus! Meditation for focus The great news is there are many meditations to strengthen your focus, and help calm your overstimulated brain. Practising meditation for focus also increases your confidence and self-esteem. When you’re able to stay with the task in front of you and bring more of your skills and resources to it, you’re not only more productive, but more satisfied with the process. The journey is as enjoyable as the destination. You can use just about anything as an object of focus in meditation, but I’ll describe two proven practices you can try. There are many more, but you can do these practices anywhere and anytime you have a few minutes – even when you’re sitting in traffic or waiting at the doctor’s. Mantra Repetition of a mantra is the oldest form of meditation and is used in Vedic meditation. You choose a mantra, which traditionally is a Sanskrit word but doesn’t need to be, and repeat the mantra out loud or silently to yourself for a period of practice. Mantra practice takes you into a focused space of sound and sensation. OM, the primordial mantra, is one simple and powerful mantra to use. It is said to be the sound of the universe that animates everything on earth. If you prefer to use words you’re more familiar with, you can repeat words or phrases like, “Peace,” “May all beings be happy” or “Be kind in all things.” .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } So Hum meditation for focus YouTube/Chopra Breath Meditation for focus practices that use the breath are the most common. They’re wonderful practices because wherever you go, you have your breath! Focusing on your breath is incredibly calming for your nervous system, while also leading your attention away from your mind. One of my favourite breath practices is the Box Breath. Each side of the box represents one part of a breath cycle–the inbreath, holding your breath, your outbreath and holding your breath again – and each is done for count of four. This practice is so powerful that even Navy SEALS use it in high stress situations where it’s crucial to relax and jumpstart their minds into a high level of alertness. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } xx xxx Meditation for focus through breathing YouTube/MyLife For both practices, the instructions are the same. Sit in a comfortable, but also alert position, ideally with your eyes closed. Start to pay attention to your chosen object of focus and do your best to keep your attention there. When your attention moves to something else, which it definitely will, the practice is to notice and gently, without judgment, bring your attention back to your object. Repeat, for as long as you like. That’s it! This practice is harder than it sounds, however. One reason is the overstimulation I mentioned that makes it quite difficult to focus on one thing for long. Another reason is almost everyone who tries this practice will think they’ve done something wrong when their mind wanders. They criticize themselves and feel reassured of their inability to focus. “When you practise meditation for focus, especially if you’re a beginner, you start to recognize what focus feels like and what lack of focus feels like, too!” So, there are two keys to this practice: To understand that a wandering attention is exactly what the practice is about; it’s not something you’re doing wrong. When you notice you have wandered and bring your attention back, be kind and matter-of-fact about it. Don’t let negative self-talk creep in to your mind and heart. Conclusion: meditation for focus Modern culture really doesn’t value being focused on one thing very much. Many of us have learned that more is better and multitasking is best. If you find that meditation for focus is hard, remember that “it’s not just you.” Give yourself a chance to relearn the benefits of an uncluttered, focused mind for your productivity, well-being, creativity and connections with people that are important to you. • Main image: shutterstock/WAYHOME Studio happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ read our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Mindfulness | Happiness | Vulnerability Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Developed by Japanese psychiatrist Shoma Morita in the early 20th century, Morita is a response-orientated therapy. Meena Azzollini looks at the four steps involved in the process and evaluates the effectiveness of Morita Therapy. Our emotions are an integral part of our everyday life, whether we feel happy, sad, frustrated, angry or surprised. Indeed, our emotions make the human experience rich and every emotion that we feel is important. Emotions guide the choices we make and the decisions we take. They determine how we act and behave and are even responsible for our perceptions. Instinctively, you know emotions can be positive or negative. Naturally, you want to feel positive emotions because they are pleasurable and they feel good. You also want to keep negative emotions, like fear, worry, hopelessness, anger and grief at bay. But negative emotions too, have a purpose even though they bring you down and make you feel unpleasant. These unpleasant feelings give you the push you need to take action that helps you grow and develop yourself. In Western culture, positive emotional states like happiness are considered the ultimate goal whereas negative emotions are seen as those feelings that impede this goal. Western psychotherapeutic treatments like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) aim to teach people to manage or control their negative thoughts, and subsequent behaviours. However, Eastern philosophies take a different approach to negative emotions. A 2017 study, which explored positive and negative emotions across cultures, showed that Easterners reported stronger positivity towards sadness than westerners indicating Easterners embraced sadness when they experience it, whereas Westerners feel they should not have to face sadness. One Eastern therapy that challenges this view — that negative emotions should not be faced, or rather, they should be managed to downplay the impact they have on our lives — is Morita Therapy. What exactly is Morita Therapy? Morita Therapy believes that all emotions – even negative ones – are a natural part of the human experience. If left untampered, these emotions can guide us to live a more authentic life while appreciating reality as it is. Morita therapy, influenced by the psychological principles of Zen Buddhism, emphasises the importance of experiencing feelings rather than shifting or ignoring those feelings as advocated by many Western psychotherapies. Developed in 1919 by a Japanese psychiatrist, Morita Shoma, Morita therapy is a highly structured form of residential therapy which was designed in response to Shoma’s own clinical observations of inpatients confined in desolate places and treated in ways that reinforced their symptoms. Morita began treating patients in his home in a rural setting, with an initial emphasis on rest. He then introduced diary writing, art, outdoor activities with observations of nature as part of his therapy and noted that the safe familial environment was conducive to healing in these patients. Nature and gardening are an integral part of Morita Therapy shutterstock/Joshua Resnick Morita therapy was initially developed to treat a Japanese syndrome known as shinkeitshitsu, which is characterised by excessive worry (anxiety) and an over focus on bodily discomfort, along with hyperactivity of mental and physical symptoms. Morita argues that shinkeitshitsu, is not a biological disorder but a mental attitude. Shoma found that when patients tried to get rid of their symptoms of anxiety by talking about it, these symptoms stayed within their focus. This over focus decreased their mind-body-spirit well-being, a concept known as kokoro in Japanese, which means the mind, body and spirit are not separate but exist as one. In his book, ‘Morita Therapy and the True Nature of Anxiety-Based Disorders’, Morita Shoma explains, “If a client’s emotional base is ignored, any intellectual pursuit (by the therapist) only serves to increase the distance between the experiential mastery and therapeutic resolution.” He likens this state to a donkey tied to a post, where the donkey keeps walking around the post to free himself, only to become immobilised and attached to the post. “The same applies to people with obsessive thinking who become more trapped in their own suffering when they try to escape from their fears and discomfort through various manipulative means,” says Shoma. Morita advised therapists to focus on the patient’s ability to live a purposeful life, where they learn to accept their emotions so that the mind returns to balance. He warned clinicians not to become obsessed with treating their patient’s symptoms. “Morita Therapy believes that all emotions – even negative ones – are a natural part of the human experience. If left untampered, these emotions can guide us to live a more authentic life while appreciating reality as it is.” Ultimately, the goal of Morita’s treatment was to provide his patients with experiences that would enable them to let go of their own private struggles with their emotions and instead accept themselves, their symptoms and their reality “as it is” – known as arugamama in Japanese. “This is unique to Morita theory and is distinctively different from the theory of a newer therapy called, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or ACT,” explains Dr. Peg Levine, Medical Anthropologist, Psychologist and Director of the Classic Morita Centre in Melbourne, Australia. How Morita therapy works Morita therapy involves four stages of treatment. Each stage comprises five to seven days. The therapist will look for signs of progress before the patient can move forward to the next stage. 1. Isolation-rest therapy Patients are placed in complete isolation and are asked to remain in resting or prone position except for when using the toilet and bath. The patient is not allowed to speak to anyone or undertake any activity that distracts them such as reading or listening to music. The therapist enters the room once a day to observe the patient but conversation is kept to a minimum. The role of the therapist at this point is to assure the patient that someone is nearby and to invite the person to endure and persevere in the discomfort and suffering of their anxiety-ridden emotions. The purpose of this stage is to let the mind wander as patients think about their lives, their problems and their past or their future, while they experience doubt, pain, anguish and anxiety. “When a client’s agony reaches a climax, it naturally and completely disappears within a short time, just like victory can be achieved during the last five minutes if a dashing attack,” writes Shoma. Patients begin to observe the transient nature of emotions that just come and go, much like nature – the changing nature of the sky and the seasons – as they suspend judgement of their emotions as positive or negative. By the third day in this stage, patients are usually invigorated by the memory of overcoming their challenging emotions and the agony of the previous day disappears. According to Morita, the first stage is effective for treating shinkeitshitsu symptoms of insomnia and anxiety. Usually by the fourth day, patients move into a state of boredom and want to become active. Healthy minds do not tolerate boredom according to Shoma, which is when a therapist will determine if the patient is ready to move to the next stage of the treatment. 2. Light occupational work In this stage too, therapy takes place in an isolated state, although patients are allowed to go outdoors during the day and are encouraged to participate in light repetitive work such as tidying and weeding the garden, picking up fallen leaves or light raking. Journaling is one of the key activities of this stage so that the therapist can better understand the patient’s emotional and physical state. However, patients are not allowed to do anything that diverts their mind or amuses them. The purpose of this stage is to allow a patient to calmly endure his or her symptoms and to inspire a desire for action, which is driven by the patient’s growing feeling of boredom. Journaling and diary writing are also key to Morita shutterstock/WAYHOME studio Patients begin to notice the activity in the natural environment such as the activity of ants or birds, or the movement of the sun across the sky, as they go about their light tasks. This distracts them from their symptoms and encourages them to explore their curiosity. According to Peg Levine, “the patient observes that the more she or he partakes in purposeful activity, the more worrisome symptoms decrease.” 3. Intensive occupational work The third stage comprises more labour-intensive work according to the client’s physical conditions. Activities include cleaning, gardening, meal preparations, and art projects with a focus on diary writing. Talking to others is restricted to the tasks at hand. The therapist does not respond to the patient’s attempt to engage in any emotion-based conversations. If patients write about their emotional state, or personal history or worries, the therapist directs them to record their observations of the day. Morita believed this therapy helps promote self-awareness in relation to the reality of the external environment and it stimulates patients to surrender to the present situation whether their symptoms were present or not. During this stage, patients begin to experience joy that comes from achieving results through their work and efforts. According to Morita, such experiences foster confidence and encourage patients to overcome difficulty and endure pain, while engaging in lively mental and physical activities. He writes: “The experiential understanding of confidence and courage, represented by the idea that much is possible in life, can be regarded as a kind of spiritual enlightenment.” 4. Preparation for daily living The fourth stage prepares patients to reintegrate with the world outside of their treatment. Patients are encouraged to focus on external reality and adjust to external changes whether symptoms exist or not. Patients travel away from the treatment centre, either by walking or taking public transport and run errands such as posting letters or buying groceries. According to Morita, “During purposeful outings clients experience various mental states because they are exposed to the general world after a long period of time.” This way, patients forget their fears naturally, as they integrate their “new self” to the social world. Morita Therapy today Modern-day Morita Therapy has since been altered from its classical version. It’s often used as a treatment alongside medication and has mainly shifted from residential therapy to outpatient centres. These days, therapists place less emphasis on Zen Buddhist philosophies embedded in Morita’s treatment. “Morita Therapy has been found to treat a range of anxiety disorders including post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.” However, the aim of the modern approach is very similar to classical Morita therapy, such as clarifying the concept of the vicious circle that maintains anxiety, and increasing awareness and acceptance of one’s emotional and physiological states, thus encouraging constructive actions. As stated previously, the purpose of Morita Therapy is not to eliminate sufferings or symptoms as such attempts are considered counter-productive to healing. Thus, in Morita therapy, no interventions are implemented to reduce symptoms or modify thoughts and behavioural patterns. It differs from other contemporary therapies like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Behavioural Activation (BA) where techniques such as meditation, cognitive appraisal and scheduling activities are used to intervene the experience of the symptoms. How effective Is Morita Therapy? Although Morita Therapy was initially developed to treat shinkeishitsu, it has been found to treat a range of anxiety disorders including post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, eating disorders, borderline personality and other adjustment disorders. Morita Therapy is also used to treat those with chronic pain, victims of sexual assault, cancer patients and civil war victims. Morita therapy may have changed over time but the purpose behind the therapy stays the same – to cultivate arugamama. “Patients learn to spread their attachments over time and re-experience a healthy imagination that balances their fears and desires over the course of the four stages, most naturally,” concludes Levine. This non-intervention therapy, help patients re-establish contact with the natural environment and cultivate an acceptance of the natural ebb and flow of their emotions. Patients develop a desire for life by re-channelling their energies into purposeful action, which helps them break the vicious cycle of their symptoms and move forward in life in a meaningful and constructive way. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy these benefits: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips and inspiration ■ share knowledge and help support others in our happiness forum ■ learn and self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Mindfulness | Nature | Self care Written by Meena Azzollini Meena Azzollini is a health and wellness content writer from Australia. She takes a heart-centred approach to help businesses make meaningful connections with their audience through effective content marketing solutions. You can connect with her at www.meenawrites.com.

November was full of feel-good environmental and health stories – but you may have missed them given all the negative news currently in the press. Ed Gould rounds up his Top Ten feel-good news stories from the past month to uplift and inspire. The world appears to have been in short supply of happiness in 2020. That said, November was an unusually positive month for the mainstream media with not one but three vaccine trial announcements in the fight against COVID-19. For some, the pharmaceutical companies' successes were the only stories worth talking about but there were plenty of others for those seeking more positivity in their news feeds. 1. Food scientists develop sustainable palm oil A pair of Canadian researchers have announced that they think they have found a sustainable and healthy alternative to palm oil. Widely used in the food manufacturing industry, palm oil is controversial for many reasons, not least because it tends to be grown on land that was formerly devoted to rainforests. According to Professor Alejandro Marangoni of the University of Guelph, adding certain enzymes to ordinary vegetable fat can make an eco-friendly alternative to conventional palm oil. 2. Mindfulness more effective if it's 'warm' Although mindfulness-based stress reduction has been studied for many years by scientists, a recent study review conducted at Harvard University has found that, overall, a 'warm' approach is better than a 'cool' one. According to Dr Zev Schuman-Olivier of the Harvard Medical School, a warm approach to mindfulness includes and element of self-compassion. He contrasts this with a cool approach which cultivates an attitude of greater tolerance to unpleasant situations. He claimed that mindfulness programmes that focus explicitly on cultivating inner-compassion are more likely to help facilitate sustained behavioural changes in people. Show self-compassion with mindfulness shutterstock/ESB Basic 3. New technique developed for safe asbestos disposal Asbestos was widely used in consumer products and buildings for many years before its awful effects on lungs were fully understood. Disposing of it has always been a difficult and expensive business. Sometimes the safest thing to do has been to simply place it into long-term storage. However, a Wolverhampton-based recycling business has found a way to destroy it in kilns such that it will never be harmful to people ever again. The technique can be scaled up to deal with industrial requirements, according to the firm's chairman, Graham Gould. 4. DNA alteration method takes the fight cancer cells A revolutionary technique has been developed by scientists in Israel, according to a report in the Daily Mail. Professor Dan Peer led a team of researchers at the University of Tel Aviv in their gene editing work. They have made use of the so-called CRISPR Cas-9 gene editing system – developed by Jennifer Doudna and Emmanuelle Charpentier, who won a Nobel Prize for their work – to alter the DNA in mice. This meant that the mice were less susceptible to developing cancers. Professor Peer said that he thought the work would be developed into treatments for humans which could then extend the lives of many people who suffer from tumours. 5. Healthy sleeping is good for your heart Getting into better sleeping habits has long been understood to help with chronic conditions such as depression. However, enjoying a restful night's sleep can also help to combat heart disease. A report in Healthline cited a scientific study that was published in the American Heart Association's scholarly journal. It found that people with good sleeping habits were up to 42 per cent less likely to suffer from heart failure than those with poor sleeping patterns. Crucially, this was the case regardless of any other factors involved with heart health, such as how much or little people exercised. RELATED: Can't sleep? 14 fixes to get a good night's rest Better sleep helps fight heart disease shutterstock/SjStudio6 6. NASA sets out to count every tree on the planet Although deforestation is a big problem in the fight against climate change and wildlife habitat preservation, no one knows how many trees there are on Earth. Added to this picture are some very ambitious tree-planting schemes going on around the world. Therefore, NASA is using its satellite technology and some very powerful supercomputers to try and count every single tree (!) on the planet, beginning in Africa. This figure should allow future generations to establish more accurately how good they have been at maintaining or improving tree stock levels. 7. Diabetes cure may be around the corner According to the National Post, scientists at the University of Alberta have been able to cure diabetes in mice. The team developed a new method for treating the disease which involves stem cells turning into pancreatic cells so that they can produce insulin within the body rather than it having to be injected. Dr James Shapiro, who led the research, said that he believes this technique will translate into a functional cure for diabetes for those living with it. 8. Rare Scottish wildcats born thanks to conservation programme A report in the Daily Record announced the arrival of two Scottish wildcat kittens in November. The critically endangered species is thought to number just 35 in the wild which makes the birth of two kittens – one male and one female – big news for conservationists. The kittens were born following efforts of the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland to breed captive wildcats. It's hoped that released wildcats will help to boost numbers in the wild in projects that are run in collaboration with NatureScot and Forestry and Land Scotland among others. The Scottish wildcat shutterstock/Mark Bridger 9. Biodegradable food containers developed from bamboo In an effort to stop using plastic for takeaway containers and other forms of single-use tableware, a team from Northeastern University in the United States has come up with a new material derived from sugar and bamboo. The use of these natural materials is ideal for the levels of hygiene needed for food products but it breaks down quite straightforwardly within 60 days and can be simply composted. What's more, the new material has been shown to work with solid foods as well as drinks. This is important because so-called green alternatives to plastic – such as cardboard – are often found to be flimsy or soggy, especially when they are used to hold hot beverages. According to a report in iNews, the manufacturing processes needed to make the material are less carbon intensive than those currently used for similar plastic products. 10. Three key factors in happiness revealed by academics According to a report in Science Times, being happy is something that can be more readily attained by focusing on three important factors. The report was based on the work of Emiliana Simon-Thomas, an academic who teaches a Science of Happiness course at the University of Berkley. It stated that boosting social connections and showing more gratitude were two of the most important things people can do to make themselves feel happier. According to Simon-Thomas, the third feeling that people she researches need to have if they want to be happy is one of self-compassion. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Positive news | Mindfulness | Nature | Biology | Biotechnology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Something on your mind? Excessive worry, doubt and apprehension is detrimental to your mental health. These six quotes about worrying from Calvin Holbrook should help you to realise that worrying only leads to unhappiness. Find hope and calm a busy mind. When worries and doubts plague our mind, the result can be destructive and detrimental to our mental health. In fact, excessive worrying can easily spiral into more generalized anxiety and depression. Fretting about something in the future (or the past) is something we've all done, by just how common is worrying? Well, according to a 2015 survey of 1,000 adults in the UK, 86 per cent of those that replied consider themselves as worriers. And two out of five people questioned said they worried about something every single day. The survey also showed that, on average, people spend an incredible 1 hour and 50 minutes fretting over something each day. While work-related issues hit the top spot on the fear factor, concerns about money, being late, and health issues also ranked highly. And while more than a third (34 per cent) claimed to be happy to discuss their concerns with others, around a quarter admit they keep their worries to themselves. It's then when deeper problems can arise. It's always a good idea to chat with someone about your worries – a friend or a stranger – but if you can't, these quotes about worrying may help you to change perspective and free your mind. Quotes about worrying: 6 powerful sayings 1. “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” Leo Buscaglia This quote on worrying from American author and motivational speaker Leo Buscaglia is one you may have already heard of. Indeed, it’s one of the most well-known sayings when it comes to the subjects of fear and apprehension. Buscaglia’s concise quote makes what we often forget abundantly clear: no matter how much you worry about something, you cannot change the outcome. Worry serves no purpose. Indeed, worrying over something will only steal time that you could be using in the present – time you could be solve your problem or to do something productive that could be boosting your happiness instead of depleting it. In fact, if you are worrying about something that happened in the past, something going on now, or something in the future, then you are not living mindfully and therefore limiting your chances of joy. So, learnt to stop worrying and stop wasting your precious time. 2. “There were many terrible things in my life and most of them never happened.” Michel de Montaigne This worry quote from French philosopher Michel de Montaigne is another popular saying about anguish and doubt. In it, de Montaigne explains that worries are generally just that – worries – but that they are given so much attention and time in our mind that they almost become 'real' events, when, in fact, they are just thoughts. Indeed, the vast majority of the time, the things people are worrying about do not come true – some studies suggest even up to 90 per cent of the time. Furthermore, in cases where those fears and worries do come to fruition, the outcome is generally better than what was initially expected! So, the moral of the story? Stop creating scenarios in your mind from developing into events when they are just thoughts. 3. “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” Elbert Hubbard This worry quote from American writer, artist and philosopher Elbert Green Hubbard is all about the fear of taking risks. Worrying about what may – or may not – happen can sometimes stop us from moving on with our lives or taking chances that we are offered. RELATED: The time is now – how to stop worrying about the future This quote around fear could relate to something as small deciding what to choose to eat from a menu or it could refer to a more extreme life change, such as taking a job in a new country. Many people let their fears and worries block them from moving forward in life. But if you’re continually fearful of the future and making decisions, this can lead to missed opportunities and regret later down the line. It's better to stop worrying about making mistakes and go ahead and take a chance if you're considering it: taking a new opportunity or risk could work out in your favour. And, well, if not, then you will always have the chance to learn from any mistake or situation that doesn't go to plan. 4. “Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning.” Winston Churchill Celebrated UK prime minister Winston Churchill is the source of our next quote about worrying, and it’s a useful lesson. With his words he is basically telling us what we already know: worrying never gets you anywhere – it’s better to use your time constructively and make a plan of action to deal with what’s bothering you. For example, if you’re worrying because you have too many things to do and don’t have a clue where to begin, instead of developing anxiety about it all, write down what you have to do on paper. Then you can 'see’ it more clearly and start prioritizing your tasks in a 'to-do' list. “Buscaglia’s concise quote makes what we often forget abundantly clear: no matter how much you worry about something, you cannot change the outcome. Worry serves no purpose.” Similarly, if your fears are more tangible and you’re worrying about making a decision on something one way or another, make a list on paper of all the pros and cons before making a final choice. Writing worries down and making a plan of action is a way of taking the worry outside of your head and converting energy from worry to action. Churchill’s advice should help you to reduce worrisome thoughts, make a decision and move on with your life. 5. “You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.” Olin Miller American author Olin Miller is behind this quote about worrying, and I'm sure it’s one many of us can relate to. Worry itself can revolved around many subjects – financial, health, relationship, parenting, getting older, etc – the list is endless. But some of the top worries we have as humans relates to what other people think about us. This is often in terms of our personality, relationships, being attractive enough, our looks, dress sense, etc. RELATED: 8 powerful suicide prevention quotes It’s human nature to want to be loved and feel acceptance. However, this can often lead to people worrying excessively about what others think about them. In fact, science shows this is waste of time as humans spend the majority of our time not thinking about other people, but – you guessed it – about ourselves. Indeed, in 1997, Dunbar, Marriott et al found that 78 per cent of human conversations involved talking about ourselves and our perceptions of the world. Test the theory and ask yourself how often you think about others. Think back to the last time you were at the supermarket, on public transport or simply walking down the street. Try to recall one detail about another person you encountered in any of those scenarios. Not easy, is it? That’s because we’re pretty much all thinking about ourselves and our issues most of the time. So, as this quote on worrying suggests, stop fretting about what other people think about you because – most of the time – they definitely are not. 6. “If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.” Roy T. Bennett This quote on worry from author Roy T Bennett is all about mindfulness and how living in the present is our only chance for happiness. Worrying about the future can be destructive, but, similarly, raking over past events that we cannot change is bad for our mental health too. Know as rumination, this element of OCD is unhealthy and can in turn lead to depression (learn more on how to stop ruminating). RELATED: 7 powerful quotes on resilience Practising mindfulness helps us to stay in the present moment, fully embracing and experiencing every passing moment. Staying mindful as much as possible helps to keep worries about the future or past at bay, giving less chance for fear and anxiousness to infiltrate the mind. • Main image: shutterstock/Srdjan Randjelovic We hope these quotes on worrying will help you to deal with any doubts about the future or anguish from the past in a healthier and productive way. If you're feeling suicidal, please reach out to someone on one of these global helplines. You can also discuss depression, worry and anxiety with happiness.com members in our forum. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Acceptance | Body positivity | Resilience | Meditation Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes collage artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

The explosive symptoms of anger come fast and hard when they arise. Ann Vralk explains how to learn to spot the cycle when you're raging and calm yourself with meditation techniques. Meditation is a tool to better understand yourself. It can help you recognize thoughts or beliefs that stress you out. And it can also help to understand your emotions, to become more familiar with how they affect you and your relationships, for better or worse. Furthermore, meditation practice can help you with one of the more difficult emotions we experience – anger. I’m not singling anger out because it’s bad or more negative than other emotions. Anger is just different because it can have a lot of energy to it and your temper can suddenly turn to rage in a flash. Before you know it, you’ve snapped at someone you care about and said something you wish you could take back. Unmanaged, unconscious anger can harm your relationships, not to mention your self-esteem. The evolutionary role of anger Anger or rage is the act of pushing back against something you see as threatening. As an evolutionary survival tool, it’s extremely effective. Indeed, it helped our ancestors to protect themselves and it fuels our bodies with chemicals that literally make us stronger. So, during a fit of rage if you sometimes feel you’ve been taken over by something that clouds your better judgment, you’re absolutely right! You’re hardwired to feel anger and, not only that, for your anger to override other considerations, like maintaining connections with other people. After all, at the end of the day, in evolutionary terms, survival is more important than anything else. Feeling angry? Meditation can help calm you But, of course, in your life in the modern world, chances are you’re lucky enough to live somewhere where your physical survival is not threatened every day. So, the things that trigger anger probably threaten you in other ways. Maybe your thoughts about how the world should be or how people should treat you are threatened. Of course, there are also things that should anger you, like racial injustice or child hunger. Understanding anger For all these reasons, understanding anger, being able to see where it comes from, is part of coping with it more skillfully and with compassion and kindness. Because anger can be triggered by different causes, it’s good to be able to distinguish between helpful and unhelpful anger. Anger at an injustice, that motivates you to act, to support others, is helpful. The kind of anger that causes you to act harshly or harm other people and yourself, is clearly not helpful. RELATED: The best books on meditation – our top picks Practising meditation for anger, you’ll learn to tell your helpful anger from the unhelpful kind. One of the most challenging aspects of rage is it feels righteous. Have you ever felt like you were absolutely in the right and the other person was absolutely in the wrong? It feels so good to be right, doesn’t it? “As an evolutionary survival tool, anger is effective. Practising meditation for anger, you’ll learn to tell your helpful anger from the unhelpful kind.” The problem is, if it’s hard for you to see (or even want to see) your own part in creating a situation that angers you, chances are you will continue to be triggered by that situation. The truth is none of us are perfect and none of us are without some blame, intentional or not, in conflicts and disagreements. The good news is, if you can see your role, then you have some control. Because, if you have to depend on other people changing in order to be free of your anger, you have no control at all. The cycle of rage Like any emotion, anger has physical emotional and mental components to it. But, for many of us, rage can feel like a dense, impenetrable ball of feeling. It’s not always even clear what you’re thinking or feeling – it’s just a immensely strong feeling of “No!,” of pushing away. Anger can look something like this: a thought triggers physical tension, that is felt as an emotion, that triggers another angry thought, and on and on, until all you’re aware of is the dense ball of feeling, with no way in. Meditation for anger: the practice The meditation practice I’ll describe next will help you to tease apart and understand the role that each plays when your anger erupts and then keeps feeding itself. When you recognize these three components, you'll have an opportunity you didn’t have before to create some space around them, work with them and understand them, so you can bring some choice, perspective and compassion to what is troubling you. RELATED: Meditation for beginners – our top 6 videos I said earlier that a hallmark of anger is how fast it arises. This meditation will help you slow those angry feelings down. For example, you might start to recognize that your anger is a mix of a clenched stomach, the emotion of betrayal, and the thought that you’re never respected. I’ll take you through this meditation for anger step by step with a brief description of what to do and how it will help. Step 1: Evoke anger Close your eyes for moment and picture a situation that angers you – a 2 or 3 on a scale of 1 to 5 in intensity. Let the usual thoughts and feelings you have about it happen. You don’t have to do this for long! Just picture the circumstances for one minute to evoke your anger, so you can practise directly with it. Step 2: Practise belly breaths Take five deep, full breaths. As you do, focus on the area around your belly button. Feel how your belly rises and falls, expands and contracts as you breathe. Throughout the practice, do your best to hold your focus on your belly breath if you feel uncomfortable or are getting lost in the cycle of anger. When you’re angry, your breath is agitated and fast. Conversely, if you use a practice like this one to calm your breath, it can help calm your body, and your thoughts and emotions follow. Belly breathing calms angry and fast breathing shutterstock/kei907 As you do this meditation for anger and your body calms down, you’ll start to engage the decision-making and judgment part of your brain, your pre-frontal cortex. This is the area that can step in and say, “Wait a minute, I really care about this person. I don’t actually believe they’d disrespect me. I wonder what’s really going on.” Remember, this part of your brain can be offline when your old brain thinks you’re under threat. A breathing meditation does much more than trigger a bit of relaxation. It will literally bring a part of your brain back online to give you more choice and perspective. Step 3: Recognize the anger cycle As you’re breathing, scan your body to see where anger lives in you. Is it in your jaw, or solar plexus or neck? Just notice where you feel the anger most strongly. Indeed, notice it as precisely as you can: where it is, if it is tight or hot, pushing out or pushing in. Focus your attention like a laser beam. Then let your attention expand to include your thoughts. What are they telling you about the situation – thoughts of blame or judgement or others’ intentions? Whatever they are, do your best to notice them, let them go and notice any other thoughts that show up. If you find yourself getting caught in the cycle of the thought and embellishing the story, that’s totally great that you noticed! Pay attention to the breath in your belly again for two breaths. Then come back to noticing your thoughts. “When you’re angry, your breath is agitated and fast. Conversely, if you use a meditation practice like this one to calm your breath, it can help calm your body, and your thoughts and emotions follow.” Finally, pay attention to the emotion itself. Is it actually anger you’re feeling? How do you know it’s anger? Are there any other emotions within or under the anger, like grief or anxiety? Whatever emotion is present for you, use it in this practice: locate it in your body, notice and let go of your thoughts, come back to the emotion. I’ve described this step in a particular order, but you can respond in any order to what’s happening. The practice is just to notice and include all three components of anger: physical sensations, emotions and thoughts. Step 4: Notice, breath and understand Keep noticing the three components over the time you’re practising. Be curious. Be kind. Keep breathing. Let your attention move as your awareness and experience move among the three. Watch for new insights or points of view, especially the point of view of others. When you’re done with the time you have, finish with a few cleansing breaths and stretches. Conclusion: meditation and anger Meditation for anger isn’t about repressing your anger or avoiding conflict or anything like that. It’s a tool to help you better understand your anger, slow it down and show you ways to respond to situations with more choice and good will. So, the next time you feel the red mist rising, stop, pause and try this meditation technique – it may just calm you down and prevent some serious upset. • Main image: shutterstock/leolintang happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ read our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Anger management | Trust | Mindfulness | Vulnerability Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

October was full of feel-good environmental and health stories – but you may have missed them given all the negative news currently in the press. Ed Gould rounds up his Top Ten feel-good news stories from the past month to uplift and inspire. October may have been rainy and dreary in many parts of the world with nothing but negative news feeds to add to the misery. However, there were plenty of feel-good stories you may have missed this autumn. Here are my Top 10 picks from the past month. 1. Morning exercise could combat cancer In a report published in Medical News Today, it's suggested that people who exercise before work – in fact, perhaps any time before mid-morning – are less likely to develop cancer. This compares well to people who do not exercise regularly at all as well as those who do their exercises after lunch and in the evening. The research behind the findings was published in the International Journal of Cancer following several years of research in the USA. 2. Mental health improved by good teacher-pupil relationships It's said you should always be respectful to your teachers and now it seems we have evidence to suggest why! A report in the Daily Mail stated that people with a good relationship with their teachers are less likely to suffer from mental health disorders such as depression or anxiety. The news story cited Korean research which was conducted over the course of 13 years, following students from their school days into their young adulthood. Those who reported good teacher relationships were found to be in better mental health on average than others. 3. Giant new coral reef discovered As coral reefs are in global decline, the discovery of a new one should bring happiness to more than marine biologists. Thankfully, just such a discovery has been off the coast of Australia. According to the Times, researchers on board of a scientific vessel named Falkor found the reef some 40 metres beneath the surface. The reef is estimated to be 20 million years old and is in very good health. What's even more staggering is that the 400-metre long reef rises from the ocean floor, over half a kilometre down. This means that the corals that form the reef appear to be stacked on one another to a height that would match the Empire State Building in New York if it were to be above ground instead of beneath the waves! Coral comeback: a new reef has been discovered shutterstock/Ethan Daniels 4. Seagrass restoration project hailed a success In other feel-good underwater news, according to a report in Science News, the world's largest seagrass restoration project has far exceeded expectations. Although the project has been ongoing for the last two decades, researchers announced in October that their efforts had grown from a patch of 200 hectares on the sea bed to over 3,600. To put that into context, the Virginia Institute of Marine Science believes the only other comparable project, one in Australia, covers a total area of just ten hectares. Not only does seagrass make the water clearer, but it also provides a natural habitat for many marine lifeforms. It also stores carbon, something that will help in the fight against climate change. 5. Insomnia treatment found... and it's simple! Insomnia is one of those conditions that can have a debilitating effect and yet there are not many treatments available which don't involve medication. Anyone who has trouble dropping off will be interested to hear that a new research paper published in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine has found that people who sleep under a weighted blanket – as opposed to a traditional duvet – are more likely to enjoy a restful night. Indeed, it's reported that this technique is much more likely to have an impact on better sleep compared to just about any other sleep-inducing products on the market today. RELATED: Can't sleep? 14 fixes to get a good night's rest 6. Protein shakes are good for the brain Scientists at the University of Illinois have discovered that protein shakes aid cognitive abilities. Drinking protein has long been the preserve of athletes and bodybuilders because it allows them to build bulk without necessarily adding weight. However, psychology professor Aron Barbey has found that these drinks also help the brain to function better. When protein shakes are combined with a healthy exercise regime, people can retain information better and gain a faster response to tests. Compared to people taking a placebo, the study found that so-called working memory functions are much improved thanks to the shakes. According to Barbey, protein shakes enhance several measures of cognitive function while also promoting better physical conditioning. Shake it up: protein drinks can boost memory functions shutterstock/vectorfusionart 7. Solar energy now the norm in South Australia Strong suns are often associated with Australia, but usually in the tropical north of the country. However, in October, South Australia saw most of its electrical generating capacity come from solar sources for the first time. Indeed for a short time during the month, all of the state's power requirements were being met from solar installations alone. This is a quite remarkable feat given that so much of South Australia's solar generation comes from relatively modest rooftop solar arrays. “Never before has an area the size of South Australia been completely served by solar power before,” said Audrey Zibelman, CEO of the Australian Energy Market Operator. Significantly, Zibelman went on to add that ordinary consumers’ solar installations contributed over three-quarters of the electrical output during peak demand. 8. Solar panel design could boost output dramatically And there's more feel-good news around solar energy this month. According to the University of York, solar power could become even more efficient thanks to a novel 3D design. A team at the university partnered with colleagues at NOVA University of Lisbon to come up with a solar panel that is thinner and lighter than conventional ones. It also makes use of a checker board design, meaning up to 125 per cent more light could be absorbed. It's hoped that the design will mean solar power becomes much easier to deploy in new situations while operating more efficiently than before. 9. AI deployed in fight against Alzheimer's Alzheimer's disease is not always easy to diagnose in its early stages. This is why artificial intelligence (AI) is now being used to help medical professionals. According to the BBC, AI systems look at a person's responses to a particular image. The algorithm is able to learn what normal responses are as well as those which might indicate the presence of the degenerative disease. It's hoped that it could lead to more successful diagnoses – up to 15 years earlier than would otherwise be possible. RELATED: Cognitive impairment – 5 ways to reduce the risk as you age 10. Wind may be the future of ocean-going freight Wind power looks set to make a commercial return as a new cargo ship is in development that will run without the need for fossil fuels. Instead, the vessel – which will be able to carry 7,000 vehicles from port to port – will have retractable solid sails that will help it to manoeuvre around the seven seas powered by nothing other than naturally occurring winds. As reported in Popular Mechanics, the sails look more like aircraft wings than old-fashioned canvas sails. However, they could be behind all sorts of future green transport if the design is found to be a success. • Main image: shutterstock/ALEX_UGALEK happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy these benefits: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips and inspiration ■ share knowledge and help support others in our happiness forum ■ learn and self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Positive news | Mindfulness | Nature | Biology | Biotechnology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Mindful parenting is a tool to help you clear your mind and open your heart, says meditation and mindfulness teacher Ann Vrlak. Discover how to reconnect with yourself and your intentions as a parent by following her tips. You’re making dinner. Your two school-aged children are fighting, the dog just padded through the kitchen with muddy paws, your partner called to say they’ll be late and your teenager is tuning you all out watching something on their iPad. Just another family meal! However, this kind of stressful scenario is many parents’ “normal.” It’s why mindful parenting is very much on many parents’ minds, and even more so during a global pandemic where families are facing unprecedented stresses and uncertainty. Indeed, many parents want to know how mindfulness can help them reduce their own stress, be the good parents they most want to be, and model healthy coping skills for their kids. What is mindfulness? Let’s start with a quick look at two definitions of mindfulness: Paying attention to the present moment with kindness and curiosity. Non-judgemental awareness of your moment-to-moment experience. In its essence, mindfulness is taking a deep pause. Sometimes there isn’t a lot of space between our feelings and thoughts about a situation, and our reactions to it. We literally react without thinking, usually in a habitual way, sometimes making stressful situations worse for ourselves and our loved ones. Mindfulness is a mini reset that lets you see a situation with fresh eyes. To see things as they are with a little less baggage about the past, or worries or hopes about the future. Take a pause for mindful parenting As a parent, mindfulness is a tool to clear your mind and open your heart, to reconnect with your deepest intentions for yourself as a parent. And, at the same time, your mindful parenting shows your child how to better handle their own anxiety. So, you don’t need to understand any philosophy or complicated practices to try mindful parenting. But I wouldn’t be telling you the whole story if I said it’s always easy. What is mindful parenting and how do I do it? Close your eyes for a few seconds. Slow down a bit and pay attention to what is happening in this moment, with kindness and curiosity. Take a few deep breaths, noticing the sensations in your body as you do, letting your thoughts and feelings flow by for just a moment. Not so hard, right? Kind of relaxing. • JOIN US! Sign up to learn more about meditation and mindfulness • Now try it again, picturing the dinner scene at the start of this article. A little harder, right? Maybe a little less kind and non-judgemental? Mindful parenting is meant to help us all be more present and resourceful with exactly these busy, stressful realities of life. There are essentially two ways to practice mindfulness: Taking a few quiet minutes away from your daily activities. Inserting small moments of mindfulness in the midst of family life. Both are beneficial and, no matter which you choose, mindful parenting looks like this: Create a pause. Come into the present. Notice with kindness and non-judgement what is happening. Choose your behavior. Mindful parenting exercise So, the next time you’re feeling stressed, try this mindful parenting exercise. And the next time after that. Create a pause. Break into the stress cycle of tension, thoughts, emotions and reactions with a pause. Do something to ground in and soothe your body, like taking two deep breaths. Feel the rising and falling sensations of breath in your body. Come into the present. Are you reliving past instances of the stressful situation or worrying about the future? While this is 100 per cent understandable, it takes you out of the moment where all of your resources and choices are. Do your best to maintain attention on your breath and body sensations, rather than your thoughts and emotions, just for a moment. Body focus helps you stay in the present. Notice with kindness and non-judgement what is happening. As you pay attention, commit to a kind, non-judgmental attitude toward your experiences. Being critical creates more thinking, more worrying, more blaming. Notice, with curiosity, if you are being unkind to yourself or those around you. Noticing without judgement sounds like this: “My partner is late. This may create extra work for me.” Noticing with judgement sounds like this: “My partner is late, again! Why are they so selfish?” Get the idea? When you practice this even a little, you may notice your mind and heart calming down. You feel more inner space. That’s the time to start noticing what your thoughts and emotions are really telling you. “What am I feeling right now? What is my child feeling?” You have created a pause to see beyond the surface and ask, “What is actually going on here? What can I do to help?” You’re not analyzing, just trying to see clearly, with some kindness. Choose your behavior. These steps and attitudes help you to choose behaviour, rather than your behaviour choosing you. Kindness and curiosity, more than anything else, strengthen your ability to self-regulate your emotions, stay with your experience and respond wisely. As a parent, be mindful of your child's moods Not only that, but you will model positive coping for your children. They learn from you how to choose what’s best for them, rather than acting out of fearful feelings and thoughts. Conclusion: mindful parenting One of the most common worries parents talk about in my mindfulness classes is guilt. They snap at their child for something, feel guilty and resolve never to do it again. But, the next time the child acts out, the parent reacts just as they said they wouldn’t. They become demoralized – stuck in a stressed, reactive, regretful cycle. This kind of knee-jerk reaction – that is in conflict with your best intentions – is a hallmark of stress. Don’t underestimate the effect stress has on your body, mind and spirit. The good news is, each time you practise mindfulness, you help to balance and strengthen all three. Your actions automatically start to come more into alignment with your intentions and values. You don’t need to practice for an hour a day. It doesn’t matter how long your periods of mindfulness are, only how often and how sincerely you do them. I hope you’ll try both types of mindful breaks: taking a few minutes in a quiet place and boldly taking a pause in an unquiet situation! If you’d like to go deeper, consider taking a mindful parenting class. This could be a great gift for yourself and your entire family. Stay well. • Main image: shutterstock/Evgeny Atamanenko happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and help support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Communication skills | Family activities | Happiness | Meditation | Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Is it possible to look at happiness in terms of the choices we make every day? Sonia Vadlamani explains how long-lasting happiness largely stems from making consistently conscious choices. Incorporate these 12 happy habits in to your daily routine and feel the benefits. Happiness means different things to different people. For you, it might be a secure job and a comfortable life. For others, it may mean freedom of expression and forming meaningful friendships. And while happiness looks distinct for everyone, most people agree that being happy is the most important aspect and the major driving force in life. While there is no consensus on a ‘silver bullet’ that works for everyone, there are some things which boost happiness for the majority – good physical health, sound mental health, a stress-free and productive life, job-satisfaction, a sense of fulfillment, meaningful relationships, etc, are just a few outcomes that result in happiness for most individuals. What is happiness? Most researchers consider happiness as a state of mind. It is usually measured in terms of life-satisfaction, subjective well-being, and a positive mental state. Lack of negative emotions like anger, frustration, and absence of symptoms of stress, anxiety and depression are also considered to result in a happy state of mind. How habits and happiness are related Choosing what makes us happy is difficult sometimes, especially when something that might make us genuinely happier in the long run seems to clash with what feels good in the present moment. In the words of Gretchen Rubin, best-selling author of The Happiness Project, happiness doesn’t always feel happy. For example, relaxing and binge-watching a favorite show may certainly feel like the convenient choice over heading to the gym for a workout. A double chocolate chip cookie might seem more appealing than a healthier and wholesome bowl of salad. RELATED: How habits can get in the way of your goals The common instinct during such a dilemma is to settle for the convenient or compelling choice – this may result in short burst of joy but might not make us happy in the long run. However, it is possible to break out of this default subconscious behavior and work our way towards the happiness-creating choice, through willpower and consistent action. Choosing the gym over cookies: a happiness habit! shutterstock/NDAB Creativity Making consistently better choices can be a viable strategy to create lasting happiness. Habits matter – they help us engrain a choice as the default action, if made repeatedly. Long-lasting, consistent variety of happiness come through consistent habits. Hitting the gym after work can be made into your default choice – or ingrained healthy habit – through consistent action, rather than to just remain a couch potato, resulting in good health and consistent happiness. Happy habits: 12 simple ways to boost joy levels daily So, let’s look at some happy habits to help you with your quest for happiness. With time and practice, you can cement these happy habits into your daily routine as your default choice of action: 1. Smile Smiling is circular – happy people smile more often, which releases more dopamine, and this makes them happier. Researchers even suggest faking a smile to induce cheerfulness and lower stress levels through ‘facial feedback’. Smiling has also been associated with extended life expectancy. A study by Michigan State University revealed that smiling as a result of cultivating positive thoughts can improve mood, prevent feelings of apathy, and improve productivity levels in the workplace. 2. Exercise regularly Exercise can prevent hypertension, boost heart health and immunity, and extend your life span. However, the benefits are not limited to physical health – regular exercise can help lower stress levels and even rewire your brain connections to keep depression at bay. A systematic review of existing literature by Zhanjia Zhang et al revealed that even the minimal amount of physical activity in the form of aerobic or stretching/balancing exercises makes a huge impact in favor of reduced stress and depression – resulting in greater happiness – in comparison to those who do not exercise on even one day in a week. “Happiness and habits have a symbiotic relationship – people with healthy habits are happier, and happy people are found to have healthier habits.” Include at least 20 minutes of daily physical activity in the form of strength training, outdoor running, yoga or walking to observe the difference in your mood and health. You could also indulge in a hobby involving movement, like dancing or playing tennis. 3. Eat mindfully Healthier food choices result in elevated happiness, as indicated by a research synthesis by Ruut Veenhoven. A balanced diet consisting of whole grains, lean meat, healthy fats along with two to three portions of fresh vegetables and fruit per day can improve your physical health and prevent disease. In addition, food choices impact your mental health as well – good mood foods can alleviate anxiety and depression and improve your mood by inducing the release of happiness hormones. 4. Get enough sleep Despite the competitive modern world trying to convince us to stay awake and connected for longer hours, getting sufficient sleep is a crucial happy habit for good health and well-being. A four-week study by Ji-eun Shin et al revealed that individuals who sleep for adequate hours have lower incidence of ‘zero-sum beliefs’ or scarcity mindset, higher life-satisfaction and elevated happiness levels. Take time to build a healthy sleep routine. Keep sleep-stealers like phones and tablets on silent mode and tucked away at least one hour before bedtime. Try going to bed and waking up at the same time every day to regularize your sleep patterns. 5. Meet friends and family often Humans are inherently social beings and forming meaningful ties makes us happier. A study by Matthias R Mehl et al pointed out that meaningful friendships call for lesser small talk and encourage more ‘substantive’ conversations, resulting in a greater perception of well-being and happiness. Another happy habit: keeping family close shutterstock/Monkey Business Images Furthermore, meeting happy people with a positive attitude will amp up the benefits. Another study at Harvard Medical School observed the happiness patterns of 5,000 participants over a period of 20 years, to establish that happiness levels in a person can trigger a positive chain reaction and the benefits can reach their friends, their friends’ friends, and so on. 6. Plan ahead Planning the next day and upcoming week in advance can help prevent the floundering feeling we sometimes get when there’s too much work that needs to get done but we have no clue where to begin. It is essential to factor in the truth here – what isn’t planned most often doesn’t get done, which may result in undue stress and dissatisfaction. RELATED: Mindful minutes – 10 small practices that make a big difference A study by renowned self-help author Robert Epstein revealed that 25 per cent of our happiness depends on our ability to manage stress, and that consistent planning and timely action can prevent stressful situations. Hence, to prevent stress, it’s important to reflect on the activities that bring you the desired result, such as joy, sense of accomplishment etc. and consistently establish supportive plans. Seeking happiness through random, haphazard acts might not always work out in your favor, but activities listed through meticulous planning will seldom backfire, offering you greater sense of satisfaction. 7. Disconnect and recharge While social media is great for networking and staying connected, it can also take a toll on your mental health and hurt your self-esteem. Taking some time to disconnect from that infinite realm called the internet, to connect with your inner self, is crucial for your subjective well-being and happiness. In a two-week study by Dunn and Kushlev, 221 participants were encouraged to maximize their phone interruptions and keep them within reach for a week. For the next week, participants were asked to turn off their phone notifications and tuck the phone away out of plain sight. Participants reported higher attention span and improved productivity levels when phone alerts were off, which predicted elevated levels of happiness. While unplugging your phone and shutting down your electronic devices might seem like a ridiculous proposition in the beginning, but it can save you from mental fatigue and undue stress. Start small – try taking a break from social media and phone notifications for a few hours each week, extending to few hours of silent mode each day. Use this time to meditate, read, or simply savor the silence around. 8. Meditate Meditation is an energization practice that allows you to focus your thoughts, enabling you to unleash your inner potential and achieve a greater sense of awareness. Numerous scientific studies point out that meditating daily can improve your mood and boost cognitive abilities. According to a review study at Kyoto University, meditation can increase the grey matter in precuneus area of the brain, which is known as the origin of the sense of well-being and happiness. Meditate regularly to boost your mood shutterstock/Shift Drive If you are a beginner struggling with your meditation practice, take heart it knowing it need not be a complicated technique. Explore some of the best beginner's meditation videos online, or simply begin by sitting in a quiet place for at least five minutes, as you concentrate on your breathing patterns. 9. Connect with nature The fast-paced world around us has a way of making us believe that life is all about achievements and hustle. While goals are important, remember that there’s more to life than to-do lists and deadlines. Taking time from your busy schedule periodically to get into nature can rejuvenate your senses, improve your heart health, prevent cancer and boost your creativity. Forest bathing or reconnecting with nature can also alleviate stress and depression, indicating higher levels of happiness. 10. Stay spiritually connected In a broad sense, spirituality relates to looking beyond oneself to find a connection with a greater dimension or a higher power that unites all beings. It doesn’t necessarily translate into religious tenets or gatherings – instead, it focuses on cultivating intrinsic value systems like kindness, compassion, gratitude etc, in your daily life. The Science of Happiness, a special edition by Time, summarizes the learning compiled from existing scientific research that most spiritual people derive certain ‘psychological comfort’ from their belief system and tend to be less depressed and less anxious as compared to their non-spiritual counterparts. “Humans are inherently social beings and forming meaningful ties makes us happier. Furthermore, meeting happy people with a positive attitude will amp up the benefits.” A systematic review of scientific literature by Sankul Gaur recognized spirituality as an emerging predictor of happiness, wherein spiritual or religious interventions were found to improve one’s sense of well-being and life satisfaction. 11. Stay in the present While the technological advancements in the form of smartphones and tablets do make our lives easier, unfortunately they also tend to draw our attention away from the reality around us. Being mindful of the environment around you and savoring the present moment without judgment is crucial for cultivating happiness – it allows you to think, feel and act from a place of purpose in a conscious manner, as opposed to your actions arising based on your subconscious patterns, or a ‘default mode’. A study by Cristian Coo et al established mindfulness as an important construct for mental health and an effective positive psychology intervention tool. It also revealed the positive effect of Mindfulness Based Intervention (MBI) on the happiness levels, work engagement and productivity of professionals in varied fields like healthcare, education etc. 12. Practise gratitude Gratitude is the appreciation of good things in your life, or an acknowledgment of the gifts you received. Studies show that the simplest acknowledgment of all things you are grateful for – be it by writing gratitude list or via gratitude meditation – can positively impact hope and happiness. Furthermore, developing an attitude of gratitude has scientifically-proven benefits. It’s possible to start small – acknowledge things you’re grateful for as you go about your daily tasks, such as having hot water to take a shower or having the sense of vision. Gratitude journaling is another great way to set positive intentions for the day. Round-up: happy habits Happiness and habits have a symbiotic relationship – people with healthy habits are happier, and happy people are found to have healthier habits. The happiness-boosting habits listed here are by no means exclusive – try them to see which of these fit well into your lifestyle and stick to the ones that create favorable results for you. With consistent practice and patience, you can create a routine to include the positive habits that suit your version of happiness and the path you choose to achieve the same. • Main image: shutterstock/Monkey Business Images happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Authenticity | Courage | Learning | Success Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Listening deeply to those who may not agree with may not sound appealing but it can actually help us connect, learn and grow compassion. Jacqui Paterson explores the benefits of radical or 'extreme' empathy. Don’t judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. You’ve probably heard that saying a hundred times, but have you ever sat and really thought about what it means? Or, more importantly, put that ethos into practice? Radical empathy is a concept that does exactly that – it encourages people to actively consider another person’s point of view – even when we strongly disagree – in order to connect more deeply with them. Although we can never truly know what someone else is thinking and feeling, as we don’t share their exact same memories and experiences, making a concerted effort to understand the actions and reactions of people can increase the levels of compassion we feel towards them. Considering the thoughts and feelings of others is more important than ever: a global pandemic has left us feeling vulnerable and afraid, and families have been forced apart by quarantines and travel restrictions. Simultaneously, the Black Lives Matter movement continues to gain momentum all over the world, as an increasing number of people are using their voices to say ‘no more’ to racism and discrimination. RELATED: Anti-racism resources (for white people) It’s a period of huge change, a pivotal moment on the timeline of humankind, and kindness and understanding are more important than ever. But, at the time we need these traits the very most, recent studies have shown that our levels of empathy are actually declining. White coats and black lives: calling for empathy shutterstock/Jennifer M. Mason A 2010 study carried out by researchers at the University of Michigan showed, rather alarmingly, that subjects exhibited 40 per cent less empathy than their 1979 counterparts, with the most dramatic decline in the ten years since the turn of the millennium, suggesting the downward trend was accelerating. It seems we just don’t care as much as we used to. This alarming shift has been nicknamed ‘The Empathy Deficit’. In a world that is becoming increasingly online – a process now sped up by the coronavirus and the huge increase in working from home – we’re more connected in a digital sense, but increasingly isolated in a physical sense. • JOIN US! Sign-up to happiness.com and connect with our caring community • With less face-to-face interaction, we can feel emotionally detached from one another. This disconnect can result in apathy, and from there it’s an easily slide back to the ruthless ‘every-person-for-themselves’ existence of our long-ago ancestors. What is radical empathy? Radical or 'extreme' empathy is not – as you might imagine – someone dressed in military fatigues, ready to ambush you with warm hugs and a listening ear. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another and is thought to have evolved over millions of years of mammalian parenting. Females who made more effort to understand the needs of their offspring had greater success raising them to adulthood so they, in turn, could reproduce (which could explain why, historically, women have been considered the more empathetic gender). Natural selection then stepped in to ensure these caring skills became dominant. “Radical empathy is a concept that does exactly that – it encourages people to actively consider another person’s point of view in order to connect more deeply with them.” Today, this trait enables us to see and understand another person’s point of view. It promotes tolerance, thoughtfulness and kindness – all essential traits for a peaceful, harmonious community. Indeed, empathy is the glue that holds society together. Radical simply means pushing yourself outside of your usual ‘base level’ of emotion and consciously committing yourself to considering and caring more about others. So, radical or 'extreme' empathy is simply empathy on overdrive. There are three currently recognised components of empathy: Cognitive Empathy is when you understand another person’s situation on an intellectual level, but you don’t necessarily connect to them on a deeper emotional level. You recognize what the person must be feeling, but you don’t feel compelled to take compassionate action. To give an extreme example, narcissists will experience cognitive empathy; they understand the hurt they’re causing, they just don’t care enough to stop. Emotional Empathy is when you go beyond imagining how the person must feel, and actually experience those same emotions yourself. This function is believed to be due to mirror neurons, brain cells that enable us to see an emotional reaction and replicate it in ourselves; like when you see someone fall over and you flinch in sympathy. This is considered vital to human relationships, as it helps humans to relate and connect to each other. Finally, we have Compassionate Empathy, where we’re impacted so deeply, we have to do something to help. Take the Black Lives Matter protests as an example; the unnecessary deaths of black men and women created a shared outrage. This shared compassionate empathy for the victims connected the protestors, creating a ripple that became a wave, that became the BLM movement. This kind of empathy is incredibly powerful and can bring about fundamental changes in the way we live and behave. Mimi Nicklin is an empathetic leader and business coach, who was inspired to write a book, Softening the Edge, in response to what she describes as a global empathy deficit. But while the figures may look daunting, she makes it clear in her book that it’s a fixable problem. She writes: 'Due to the neuroplasticity of our brains, empathy is a skill we can learn, fine tune and practise. Contrary to the belief of many, it’s not a trait we may or may not be born with, but a skill we can hone and improve.' Michele Attias, mindset coach, and author of Stop Seeking, Start Living, agrees. “Empathy is a habit we can learn to cultivate,” she explains. “So there’s hope that, whichever level you find yourself in, there are ways you can increase your empathic understanding.” There are several different training programmes that increase your levels of compassion (of which empathy is a part), says Dr Emma Donaldson-Feilder, Occupational Psychologist at Affinity Coaching and Supervision. She refers to the Compassion Cultivation Training course (designed at Stanford University, and now taught around the world) Mindfulness-based Compassionate Living and Mindful Self-Compassion. Radical empathy: ask questions and really listen But the quickest and easiest way to practise radical empathy is to simply put your mind to it. Take the time to really notice people and imagine yourself in their shoes, and this will allow you to better connect with how they might be feeling. Ask questions and really listen to the answers. If your intuition tells you there’s something more, be open and patient and let them know they can come to you any time for a non-judgemental ear. It’s not just them who’ll feel better as a result. What are the benefits to radical empathy? There are many benefits to radical empathy, and they are felt both by the person giving, and the person receiving it. 1. Genuine connections “Showing greater empathy creates closer, deeper and more authentic relationships,” Attias says, “as you’re truly ‘seeing’ the other person and not blocking your emotions towards them.” 2. A feeling of purpose and belonging Thinking outside yourself acknowledges your place in the global community. It helps us to see we’re all part of something bigger, something that has endured for tens of thousands of years, and that can bring comfort. 3. Greater level of trust “As humans our fundamental need is to be seen and to be heard,” Nicklin says. “It is through these foundations that we grow. When we feel that those around us understand us, trust increases as does our inclination to share and build relationships.” 4. Increased feeling of wellbeing “When we’re empathetic, we’re free from judgement,” Attias explains. “Showing more kindness, love and openness to others has a positive effect on your wellbeing and can only impact positively on your relationships.” 5. It creates joy Neuro-research has proven that we feel good when helping and connecting with others, Nicklin explains. “Not because we are trying to avoid negative consequences or feel we have to, but because behaviours such as cooperation and reciprocity are intrinsically rewarding to us. We enjoy these emotions - to empathise is to be happy.” 6. More motivation and productivity Nicklin's research revealed that when empathy levels are high, the desire to do well also increases. “Motivation in workplaces, motivation to perform, motivation to support the people connecting with us empathetically,” she says. “When we feel understood we strive higher, communicate more and innovate at a faster rate.” Balancing extreme empathy with compassion While the benefits of radical empathy are many, there is a possible downside for some people. Empaths are highly sensitive to other people’s emotions, absorbing their energies so deeply it can even translate into physical pain. This can cause them to swing in the opposite direction, leading them to protectively shut down their emotions. But this overload can be balanced out, says Dr Donaldson-Feilder. “In order not to feel overwhelmed by others’ distress we need to have compassion,” she says, “This way empathy is not felt in isolation but is combined with understanding and taking thoughtful action to support others.” “The quickest and easiest way to practise radical empathy is to simply put your mind to it. Take the time to really notice people and imagine yourself in their shoes.” Doing something – like we saw with the BLM protests and the Clap for Carers initiative in the United Kingdom – helps us to cope with those feelings of fear and helplessness, and pulls us together as a community, Despite the frightening statistics, we’re not doomed to a future devoid of care or compassion. While global events have revealed selfishness and deep misunderstandings, they have also prompted incredible displays of radical empathy. From the fear, anger and uncertainty, tendrils of hope have blossomed – spontaneous ovations for medical staff in the worst-hit coronavirus areas of Europe; Captain Tom raising nearly £33million for the UK’s National Health Service (and receiving a knighthood in the process), the coming together of millions around the world to peacefully protest that Black Lives Matter. For the first time since World War II, the entire planet is united in a fight – both against COVID-19 and against racism – and both have served to remind us that we are not individuals, we are each a part of vast, connected global community. Modern life may have inadvertently bred apathy, but radical empathy provides us with the antidote. • Main image: shutterstock/halfpoint happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Deep listening | Courage | Forgiveness Written by Jacqui Paterson Jacqui has been a true-life and travel journalist for over 25 years, and has travelled all over the world telling people's stories. Originally from New Zealand, she's now based in the UK, where she also wrangles two pre-teen daughters, and runs her lifestyle blog, JacquiPaterson.com.

Following a body scan meditation script allows your nervous system to heal and helps to reduce anxiety and stress. Meditation and mindfulness teacher Ann Vrlak shares an easy-to-follow 10-minute body scan meditation script and explores more of the benefits of this practice. Body scan meditations have become one of the most popular meditation exercises. In this article, I’d like to talk with you about why these simple exercises are often recommended for anxiety, relaxation and insomnia, among other benefits. The basic practice is simple to describe. You close your eyes and direct your attention to your body, moving from your head to your toes (or reverse), feeling as many sensations as closely as you can. Some people find it easiest to picture parts of their body, like what their hand looks like, for example. The most powerful benefits happen when you feel or sense that part of your body from the inside. You do your best to feel sensations in your body, like warmth, tingling or pressure. There are two main benefits when you use a body scan meditation script. First, this kind of sustained attention to your body has a profoundly relaxing effect on your nervous system. Your parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for rest and rejuvenation, is activated by this practice. All kinds of relaxing, healing chemicals and processes are set in motion. It’s like an internal spa day! The second benefit is that paying precise attention to your body sensations starts to bring your mind and body into sync. It’s a unifying, grounding experience that you can feel for yourself in the practice I’ll describe below. So, let’s look in a bit more detail at the benefits of following a body scan meditation script. 1. Allows your nervous system to heal Doctor and psychologist Rick Hanson has written several fascinating and accessible books about how our body and brains have evolved. For example, he describes life when we were a young species on the planet. Being alert to physical dangers like a tiger in the grass was a crucial survival skill. So, our brains became oriented toward potential external threats. Without an actual threat, however, this brain mechanism can become a recipe for the anxiety or stress so many of us experience today. We can become overly vigilant and never actually relax. Body scans are incredibly relaxing shutterstock/wavebreakmedia A body scan practice, Hanson says, is powerful because it reverses this mechanism. Paying attention to what’s happening internally, rather than externally, is a signal to our ancient nervous system that says, “Well, if I’m paying attention inside, I guess there’s no tiger out there!” Then your brain starts to do all kinds of wonderful things to relax and heal from the wear and tear of being vigilant at other times. 2. Reduces anxiety and stress I know, I already mentioned this in the last bullet. But, it's worth repeating because anxiety, stress and their common companion depression, are at epidemic proportions in our world. You don’t have to have high levels of anxiety or depression to feel less joyful, less connected or less capable. Even low levels can affect you in all these ways. • JOIN US! Discover more about meditation at happiness.com. Belong to a community that cares • When you use a body scan meditation script, especially if you do it regularly, you’ll start to disrupt the cycle of unease: stressful thoughts causing tension in your body, causing more anxiety, causing poor sleep, causing depression, and on and on. 3. Clears and calms your mind As you are probably aware, your mind needs something to do! A good body scan meditation script will help you with that because it’s restful for your mind. It doesn’t have to work hard at thinking and analyzing. A body scan practice shifts your mind into a relaxing state of simply noticing sensations, taking you away from any negative thinking you may have. It also strengthens your ability to focus. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } XX XX Try out our relaxing bodyscan meditation script here 4. Helps you get in touch with your body Our bodies carry a lot of stress and physical tension that we're often not even aware of. All the little daily stresses, as well as any older psychological wounds, leave a residue in your body. This residue holds crucial information about your well-being and healing. • JOIN US! Sign-up free to the happiness.com community and share your story and challenges • Becoming aware of it can be challenging, but a body scan practice strengthens your ability to be with whatever you experience kindly. And, you begin to recognize the intelligence in the body. Did you know there are brain neurons that extend throughout your body? Your body has a lot to tell you. 5. Trains you in self-care Self-care is another benefit of listening to a body scan meditation script. Slowing down enough to inhabit your body and your emotions is an act of self-care. It’s one concrete way you can practice caring about your own experience, listening to your own wisdom, and treating yourself with curiosity and respect. Body scan tips Firstly, be precise. As you’re listening to a body scan meditation script, do your best to really feel each area before moving on to the next. Even pause the recording if you need to. If you rush the practice, your body will know you’re not really paying attention! For example, it might take you ten minutes or even more to really connect with your shoulder. And that’s OK. This can happen no matter how much experience you have! On the other hand, if you start to feel stuck, move on to the next area and come back to it later on in the practice. You can also make any difficult areas an area of specific focus for the next time you follow the body scan meditation script. “Self-care is another benefit of listening to a body scan meditation script. Slowing down enough to inhabit your body and your emotions is an act of self-care.” Secondly, don’t judge. I’m going to give you different instructions and suggestions in the body scan meditation script below. But don’t judge your own experience by any guidance I give you, for example, naming a sensation like tightness or cold. It’s important that you name and connect with your experience whatever it is. That’s the purpose of this exercise. Body scan meditation script You should set aside at least ten minutes to do this practice. You can do it either lying down or sitting up. Take a few full breaths to help your body and mind begin to relax. Feel the sensations where your body connects with the floor or surface under you. Feel your body getting heavy. Starting by sensing your head. Sense your forehead and the area around your eyes. This is an area lots of us hold tension. There’s no right or wrong thing to feel. Just notice and gently name any sensations silently like warmth, tingling or pressure. Let your attention move to the top of your head, to your scalp, and down the sides and back of your head. And feel your neck, the muscles along the back and sides, and even sense inside your neck and throat. • WANT MORE ON MEDITATION? Sign-up free to happiness.com • Now sense your shoulders, the large heavy muscles of your shoulders and shoulder blades. If you notice any tension or discomfort here, it’s not anything you need to change, just be aware of it. If you like, you can breathe into any area that feels some discomfort. This just means that you imagine your breath is moving in and out of the area, instead of your nose. Let your attention move slowly down your arms, sensing your upper arms, elbows and lower arms. Sense the muscles and bones here. Feel the bones of your wrist and the softness of your palms. Our hands are a centre of so much activity and expression. Feel all the sensations in your palms, fingers and fingertips. Now shift your attention to your chest around your heart and solar plexus. What do you notice there? Breathe and feel it. It may be different in the next moment. You’re just tuning in right now to your body to these precise physical sensations. And remember: be patient. Your body moves at a slower pace than your mind. Body scan meditation helps you get in touch with your body Now allow your attention to move into your stomach and hips. Let your attention rest here for a few breaths. Continue down your upper legs, knees and lower legs, taking as much time as you need to feel the sensations and awareness there. Remember that there’s no right or wrong experience, only to be as present and caring as you can. Then move down into your feet, ankles, the soles of your feet and all ten toes. Your feet work so hard all day long: really feel all the muscles and tendons and tissues there. Now, take a big breath and see if you can feel your whole body all at once sitting or lying here, breathing. From the tips of your toes, up through your legs, your torso, your arms, into your head and face. Feel your body as one, whole field of sensation and energy. Keep breathing and finish the practice. And when you’re ready, slowly open your eyes. How to end your practice How did it go? When you’ve finished the body scan meditation script, take a moment to notice any sense of freshness, relaxation or groundedness. Take a moment to observe and feel your body and mind, before you return to your day. Once you have used this body scan meditation script a few times, try doing the practice in your own way. Move your attention through your body at your own pace, in any way you like, following the tips in this article and, most important, being curious and kind. You may find that going solo allows you to be even more attentive to what is going on for you, and to connect more deeply with your inner world. • Main image: shutterstock/Mark Nazh happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Better sleep | Breathwork | Happiness Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

If you feel overwhelmed during the course of your day, stopping to pause for a 'mindful minute' can help reset you and give focus. Ann Vrlak shares 10 calming moments of mindfulness that you can incorporate into your daily routine. What can you do in one minute? The truth is you can do a lot. A minute is longer than you think. If you have a spare minute, try it right now. Set a timer, close your eyes and just breathe. Were you surprised by how long a minute actually is? When I teach meditation, especially to beginners, showing them ‘mindful minutes’ is a core exercise I love to use because it helps students see the benefits of meditation in the context of their daily lives. Here’s why. When people learn different types of meditation, the basic practice involves setting time aside from your usual day-to-day activities for a quiet period of 20 minutes or more. And, it’s true, this devoted time to go deep into a practice is essential to learning what meditation is actually about. • JOIN US! Sign up to learn more about meditation and mindfulness • However, if this is your only practice, what often happens is a kind of disconnection. Insights or perspectives you have on the meditation cushion stay there. They don’t flow into your work stresses or disagreements with your loved ones. You feel and react as usual, maybe a little disappointed in yourself or in meditation. Mindful minutes are the medicine for disconnection. The benefits of your mindful minutes of breath practice, relaxation or loving-kindness, for example, flow into whatever you do next. Stop for a moment to fully embrace your surroundings shutterstock/mimagephotography Mindful minutes: getting started Want to give mindful minutes a try? Here’s all you need to do: Choose when to do them. The best way to remember your mindful minutes is to connect them to things you do a couple of times every day, like brushing your teeth, sitting down for a meal or getting in your car. So, every time you brush your teeth, it’s your signal: “Ah, time for a mindful minute.” An extra benefit is you don’t need to find extra time during your day to do these practices. Choose one or two exercises from this article you’d like to try. Do the exercises every day, for one week to start. Start small and enjoy them. Just notice how you feel doing them and what changes in your day. Tips for mindful minutes If you find yourself thinking about something else during your mindful minute, that’s OK. Do not beat yourself up! If you have a bit more time, start again. If you don’t, just notice – kindly, please – that it was difficult for you to focus for one minute. It’s kind of interesting, isn’t it? What would be different if you could focus for longer? Just a question, no judgement. Don’t let your mind talk you out of doing the practices. You may tell yourself, “This is stupid. What’s this going to do?” Decide ahead of time to ignore this kind of criticism. The exercises in this article are simple, but they all have direct roots in traditional meditation practices that have been used for hundreds of years. Mindful minute: 10 practical exercises Incorporate some of these ten mindful moments into your daily routine and start to feel the benefits soon. 1. Five Conscious Breaths Breathing exercises are one of the oldest meditation practices. They are powerful tools for relaxing both your body and mind. For five breaths, pay attention to the sensations of your full breath cycle: the inhale, slight pause, exhale, slight pause. Don’t strain, hold your breath or try to change your breath in any way. Just do your best to focus on the sensations of your breath in your nose, throat, belly or wherever it’s easiest for you to pay attention. 2. Mindful eating Eating is something we all sometimes do in a rush or without fully experiencing or enjoying. As you prepare and eat your breakfast, for example, pay attention to the vibrations as you grind your coffee, the smell of the bread toasting, and the taste of the orange juice in your mouth. When you become distracted or start thinking about what’s next in your day, do your best to be aware and simply come back to your moment-to-moment experience of eating mindfully. Eat mindfully, enjoying every moment of food shutterstock/Dean Drobot 3. Loving-kindness Is there someone in your life that is struggling or in a painful situation? Or maybe this describes you right now. Open your heart by practising loving-kindness. Close your eyes and see the person or yourself in your mind’s eye. Feel compassion and loving kindness for what they’re going through, and repeat silently, “May they be happy, may they be safe, may they be loved.” Or, “May I be happy, may I be safe, may I be loved.” 4. Practise empathy Has someone done something to irritate you, upsetting your mood? Try feeling empathy during a minute of mindfulness. Imagine what that person who upset you might be thinking or feeling. Could they be under a lot of pressure at work or have a troubling situation at home? If you can find a way to “see the person” even a little, your feelings and thoughts about the situation will change. “Mindful minutes are the medicine for disconnection. The benefits of your mindful minutes of breath practice, relaxation or loving-kindness, for example, flow into whatever you do next.” My favourite time to practise this mindful minute is when someone annoys me in traffic. One day when this happened to me, I felt angry (as usual) and conjured up stories about how inconsiderate they were. For some reason, I then thought: “How would I feel if that was my niece in the car (who I adore)?” The stories disappeared immediately, along with the anger. If it was her, I thought, she would just be rushing to get home to her kids or be a bit distracted by her work. Now, I use that practice consciously when I’m in traffic. It’s a great lesson: to see it’s the stories (my thoughts) that upset me, not the person’s behaviour. 5. Body scan The body scan is a classic meditation practice that can be done anywhere, any time, and for any length of time – even for just a mindful minute. Starting with your hands, feel the sensations in your body – tingling, warmth or pressure. Then, let your attention move progressively through your body, noticing as much as you can about sensations whether they are pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. The idea of this practice is to stay as close to the direct physical sensations as you can, rather than thoughts, feelings or perceptions you may be having. Follow a simple yet effective ten-minute body scan meditation script here. 6. Befriend emotion This meditation is a way to listen to your emotions, with kind attention, instead of perhaps resisting them or wanting to distract yourself from them. When you feel an uncomfortable emotion, big or small, see if you can notice with kind, curious attention how the emotion is showing up in your mind and body. Is it triggering thoughts of blame or anger? Is it creating tension in your neck or stomach? Notice as much as you can, not getting stuck in any one place. Notice, be kind, move on. Rinse and repeat. 7. Inhabiting your five senses This is a powerful anxiety-soothing exercise you can do almost anywhere. The object is to be mindful of the information coming in through your five senses. Pay attention to each sense: sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste. With each one, notice as much as you can as precisely as you can and try not to interpret anything. Simple labels can help you stay focused on your senses, like “warm” or “red” or “ringing.” 8. Say “OK” This practice is based on a foundation skill of meditation: acceptance or allowing things to be as they are. There are many things in a day that you might resist or feel are wrong. We all do this sometimes, but if it’s something we can’t change, like having a cold, for example, the resistance only makes us more unhappy. Saying “OK” is a way to practise acceptance in little moments in your day. So, when you get a cold, say to yourself “OK” and try to let go. Or, when your teenager is late for dinner again, say to yourself “OK” and try to let go. You’re not saying you like it. You’re only acknowledging what is happening and letting go of the struggle or the wish for it to “not be so.” 9. Do one thing at a time Who doesn’t try and multi-task sometimes? However, productivity experts, as well as people who study happiness, have found that, first, you may not get as much done as you think and, second, that multitasking is stressful! “The body scan is a classic meditation practice that can be done anywhere, any time, and for any length of time – even for just a mindful minute.” Choose an everyday activity and try to focus on just that one thing while you’re doing it. If you’re like most of us, you’ll start to add in more things “you can do at the same time.” Just watch for this habit and bring your attention back to your focus. Honour what you’re doing, in this moment. Give it your undivided attention and notice if anything changes for you. 10. Question your thoughts How many of your thoughts are true? What happens when you believe your thoughts are true, even when they hurt you or others around you? Practising some objectivity with your thoughts is another foundational skill of meditation. You can practise this any time by simply noticing and naming your thoughts, like this: “Oh, I was thinking about that problem at work again.” Leave it at that and notice the next thought. Creating some space helps you notice how many thoughts you have, how consistent they are or are not, and how they affect how you feel and what you do. Spiritual teacher Byron Katie has built a whole system of meditation starting with the simple question about our thoughts, “Is it true?” Discover more. Takeaway: mindful minutes work Don’t underestimate the power of these little practices! I really encourage you to try one or two of these mindful minutes for a week or so: don’t try to do too more practices at once in the beginning. Each one of them has the ability to create just a bit of perspective if you’re feeling angry, or a bit of relaxation if you’re stressed, or a bit of self-compassion if you’re feeling hurt. Don’t let your mind tell you they probably won’t do anything. Try them and see for yourself, then try a couple more. And if you find that some of these mindful minute practices really work well for you, you can try doing periods of sitting meditation using the same focus or technique to deepen your experience and understanding. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now: ■ to enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Anxiety | Nature | Breathwork | Meditation Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.