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If you hadn't already heard, podcasts are all the rage. Calvin Holbrook selects eight great happiness podcasts that will enrich your life, boost well-being and help you learn on-the-go. Are you listening to any happiness podcasts at the moment? Learning and improvement around well-being and happiness has until recently been mainly confined to reading self-help books or viewing online videos. But the power of podcasts now means we don’t need to have to focus on watching or reading, instead we can joyfully and simply listen. This advantage means that happiness podcasts are perfect for traveling, commuting or just when you’re out and about walking. Tuning into a happiness podcast is a great new way to learn more about well-being and can also be a fantastic way to boost your happiness if you’re having an off day. The benefits of this new medium mean that podcasts are rising in popularity fast. But don't just take our word for it. Indeed, podcasts as a medium are popping right now. Around 7.1 million people in the UK now listen to one each week: an increase of 24 per cent over the past year. And in the US, nearly one out of three people listen to at least one podcast every month. Our pick of the best happiness podcasts With such a boom, the overwhelming number of happiness and well-being podcasts out there to choose from could trigger anxiety in some of us! So, we’ve done the hard work and rounded up the best happiness podcasts so you don’t have to search for them. Here are eight podcasts in the areas of positive psychology, happiness and self-help that will lift your day and help you learn to be a happier and more rounded human being. 1. Greater Good: The Science of Happiness If you’re like us at happiness.com and put emphasis on understanding the science behind happiness, then the podcast The Science of Happiness is a great listen. A fortnightly happiness podcast from our collaborators over at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, as the title suggests, it places importance on science-based insights for a meaningful life. • JOIN US! Sign up to learn more about meditation and mindfulness • In each bite-sized episode (around 20 minutes), the podcast features so-called ‘happiness guinea pigs’ trying out study-backed strategies for a happier, more meaningful life. The guinea pigs test the tips for happiness by making practical changes to their lives and daily routines and then report back on the effects (usually with positive results). Recent popular episodes include ‘making happiness contagious’, ‘facing your fears’ and a fascinating chat with stand-up comedian Margaret Cho who shares some insights into her thoughts around gratitude and time. 2. Gretchin Rubin: Happier with Gretchin Rubin One of the first podcast converts and also one of the most popular, Happier with Gretchin Rubin features the influential and best-selling author of The Happiness Project discussing human life and encouraging her sister – a noted skeptic – to put her well-being tips into practice. The pair’s breezy and humorous nature makes their podcast chats easy to listen to and Happier with Gretchin Rubin covers subjects such as building good habits, improving relationships and developing a happier life. Gretchen draws from her personal wisdom and experiences as well as science to examine how humans can live their lives with greater happiness, creativity and productivity. Rubin has won awards for this cast, proof indeed that it’s one of the best happiness podcasts around today. 3. Nithya Shanti: Spreading Happiness Usually running for between one and two hours (or more), the majority of Nithya Shanti’s Spreading Happiness podcasts are long-players that deserve your full attention. Shanti quit a corporate career in India to pursue his inner calling to be a Buddhist monk. Since then, his experience has led him to share his learnings through so-called “joyful gatherings” across the world. His irregular Spreading Happiness podcast series is a great opportunity to benefit from the best of Shanti’s teachings as it’s a compilation of these global gatherings: elegant teachings on conscious living, and a mix guided meditations, inspiration, wisdom, and story telling. “Tuning into a happiness podcast is a great way to learn more about well-being and can be a fantastic way to boost happiness if you're having an off day.” Recent podcast highlights include 'The Beauty of Agendalessness', 'Power of Presence' and 'Happiness Habits'. Sound quality isn’t always optimal, but you can really feel Shanti’s infectious smile and spiritual strength coming through in his words, making for a wonderful listen. 4. 10% Happier with Dan Harris Another stalwart of the happiness podcast scene is Dan Harris, the presenter who experienced a panic attack live on-air while hosting Good Morning America on TV. It was that experience that led Harris to meditation in a quest to improve his metal health. Meditation worked him so well that he went on to pen a best-selling book 10% Happier, which led to the development of this podcast. RELATED: Panic attacks – 12 tips on what to do when anxiety hits hard Similarly to his book, Harris’ weekly podcast of the same name has a frank and no-BS view towards presenting meditation. Featuring in-depth interviews with mindfulness and meditation major players (the Dalai Lama has even put in appearance), as well as neuroscientists and psychologists, 10% Happier explores meditation techniques and tips on how to train the mind. New episodes are available every Tuesday morning and run up to 60 minutes. 5. Action For Happiness Action for Happiness is a small charitable initiative working to inspire practical action for a happier and more caring society. Presenter Gui Hung fronts the Action For Happiness podcast which features of a variety of guests within the well-being world: happiness authors, scientists and presenters. Borrowing heavily from James Cordon’s Carpool Karaoke sketches, Hung’s Carpool Podcast feature with mindfulness expert Jon Kabat-Zinn recently being featured in the passenger seat to talk about the future of mindfulness. Another reason Action for Happiness makes our best happiness podcasts list is that as well as being able to listen to the audio, you can also watch videos of the experts being interviewed (which works especially well with the Carpool Podcasts!). 6. RuPaul: What’s the Tee? He’s the biggest drag star in the world and a multi Emmy-award winner for his presenting/producing work on hit show RuPaul’s Drag Race, but RuPaul also has a strong interest in spirituality, happiness and self-improvement, that he often discusses with his podcast guests. Usually featuring people from the world of showbiz, What’s the Tee? focuses the chat on their careers, but RuPaul often opens the conversation up to their spiritual and well-being practices, giving a unique insight into the personal lives of these celebrity guests which you can’t find elsewhere easily. RELATED: 8 essential life lessons from RuPaul Charles As well as winning happiness points for its discussion around happiness and making the world a better place, What’s the Tee? is also just LOL funny (and often NSFW). RuPaul’s contagious cackle is reason enough to listen and feel instant happiness. In fact it’s my go-to podcast when I need a pick-me-up, and for that reason alone it makes our list of the best happiness podcasts. 7. Good Life Project The makers of the Good Life Project podcast are on a mission to inspire possibility and connection! Jonathan and Stephanie Fields are the hosts of this podcast which airs twice-weekly. The pair host inspirational and intimate discussions about living life to the fullest and living with meaning with a wide range of guests: from world-shakers such as authors Augusten Borroughs and Seth Godin, musician Liz Phair, professor Brené Brown, as well as everyday guests. RELATED: The 5 best happiness apps to improve well-being Jonathan is a particularly great interviewer with a calm and very listenable voice. Being one of the best happiness podcasts out there, The Good Life Project currently has a back catalogue of over 300 episodes to listen to, usually running for around 45 minutes (which makes them perfect for commutes). 8. Live Happy Now Last but by no means least, this great podcast from the editors of Live Happy magazine features ideas and research on how to develop a happier and more meaningful life. Live Happy Now includes interviews with top positive psychology professionals, well-being leaders and celebrities. The podcasts reflect many of the science-based subjects we discuss in our happiness magazine, with recent podcasts including: ’Embracing slowness’, ‘The importance of self-forgiveness’, ‘Making good habits stick’, ‘Living longer' and 'Happier through kindness'. The tone of this happiness podcast is friendly and light and episodes are digestible at around 30-40 minutes. There are over 200 episodes online to listen to and you can explore the podcasts by categories such as happiness, work, inspiration and science. ● Have you already enjoyed some of these happiness podcasts? We'd love to know which are your favourites and the difference they have made in your life! Share in the comments below! happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude | Motivation | Jon Kabat-Zinn | Self-help | Music Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our online magazine and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

Self-forgiveness is important for our mental health and overall well-being, research suggests. Sonia Vadlamani explains the seven steps you can take to learn how to forgive yourself and move forward to lead a happier, more meaningful life. ‘To err is human, but to forgive is divine’ as the age-old saying goes. Indeed, it’s a fact of life that we all make mistakes. However, learning from these errors, letting go of the negative emotions attached to them – such as guilt, resentment, shame – and moving on by practising self-forgiveness is crucial for our well-being and happiness. Forgiveness, or the deliberate choice to let go of anger, regret or revenge towards someone who may have wronged you, can be a helpful healing tool. However, often people don’t realize that forgiving themselves is a viable choice that they can put in practice. In addition, while forgiving others for their wrongdoings can come easily to us, we usually find it much harder to condone our own mistakes from the past and practise self-forgiveness. Contrary to what you may assume, self-forgiveness doesn’t mean that you’re off the hook for your past bad behavior. It doesn’t even mean that the action you regret needs to be tolerated further or forgotten. Instead, forgiving yourself entails accepting and taking accountability for your misdirected actions, thoughts or feelings. Indeed, self-forgiveness involves knowing that you can’t change your past behaviour/s, but are willing to come to terms with the wrongful act and consequently, let go of the past. Why self-forgiveness is essential Self-forgiveness does not always come easy, as it requires us to acknowledge and accept some uncomfortable facts or feelings. However, it is essential to know how to forgive yourself, as dwelling in negative feelings like guilt, shame, frustration and anger can take a toll on our mental health and physical well-being. Dwelling in these feelings can lead to self-hatred, impacting our well-being and happiness levels. In fact, research points out that the ability to forgive yourself with greater ease is directly linked to higher overall well-being levels. Additionally, researchers Michael Wohl et al suggest that higher levels of self-forgiveness can also serve as a protective shield from conditions like depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and anxiety. Self-forgiveness is linked to higher levels of happiness Indeed, self-forgiveness entails some degree of cognitive reframing of one’s views about themselves. Researcher Margaret R Holmgren suggests that the ability to forgive ourselves allows us to recognize our intrinsic worth and its independence from our wrongdoing. This means that over time and with consistent practice, we can forgive ourselves with greater ease and lead a stress-free, productive and meaningful life. How to forgive yourself: 7 steps Forgiveness doesn’t just benefit others you’ve wronged or were unfair to, but is beneficial for you as well. In fact, self-forgiveness allows you to develop deeper perception regarding your actions and thoughts. Learning how to forgive yourself enables you to move forward with a better understanding of how you react in different situations, strengthening your resolve to prevent such behavior in the future. Learning how to forgive someone How to let go of resentment 12 ways to practise self-acceptance Indeed, forgiving yourself constitutes an important part of correcting your wrongful actions or behavior for the future course. However, research points out that self-forgiveness doesn’t happen unintentionally, but is a conscious effort that relies on a carefully devised, stepwise approach. Here are seven steps suggested to help you exercise self-forgiveness, including undertaking suitable actions for making necessary changes in your behavior. 1. Define what forgiveness means to you Self-forgiveness holds different meanings for different people, even though the end goal remains the same, which is to come to terms with our actions or feelings from the past, instead of wallowing in regret, guilt or shame. Our definition of self-forgiveness usually stems from our personal beliefs, value systems, family, religious ideology, etc. “It is essential to know how to forgive yourself, as dwelling in negative feelings like guilt, shame, frustration and anger can take a toll on our mental health and physical well-being.” For example, for me, I’ve understood over the years that self-forgiveness involves coming clean and apologizing sincerely to the person I may have hurt, no matter how difficult or trivial it may seem at the time. Understand what forgiveness means to you and proceed to define it in a clear manner, so that you can devise the approach that aligns best with your thought process and values. 2. Recognize your feelings This step requires you to sort through the various emotions you experience when you recollect a wrongful action committed in the past and acknowledge the feelings you identify with the most at the moment. Set aside some time to experience each feeling without any judgment, as you recount your wrongful action or unfair behavior that’s bothering your conscience. Resist the temptation to deny acknowledgement of your feelings due to shame or guilt, as ignoring these emotions can cause further inner turmoil. On the other hand, acknowledging these feelings will help you gain a deeper insight, allowing you to forgive yourself and possibly prevent such situations from arising in the future. 3. Take responsibility for your actions This may prove to be the most challenging step, especially because accepting the fact that you made a mistake or acted unfairly isn’t always an easy feat. However, it can’t be denied that acknowledging your mistakes and assuming responsibility for the same is the steadiest way to forgive yourself for your unjust behavior in the past. Taking the time to acknowledge your missteps also allows you to gain an in-depth perspective about your reaction to various stimuli and vulnerabilities. This will enable you to move forward in life and may help improve your composure during unforeseen situations in the future. 4. Apologize with sincerity A sincere, heartfelt apology makes a significant impact when it comes to self-forgiveness or forgiving others, according to a 2021 study from Japan's Kobe Gakuin University. Researchers there reviewed the effect of different types of apologies on various conflict resolution situations. Apologizing for your actions conveys your regret regarding the pain you may have inflicted on someone. It shows that you reflected on your mistake, acknowledge the emotions of someone who was wronged, and are willing to act in a different way in the future to avoid a similar mistake. Apologizing to others help with your own self-forgiveness shutterstock/fizkes 5. Draw focus onto the lessons learnt Forgiving yourself will truly be possible when you’re ready to learn from your mistakes and wrongful acts in the past. Instead of constantly criticizing or condemning yourself, strive to understand what causes the behaviors which you may later regret. Learn from your vulnerability, fears and failures by reflecting on questions like, “Why does this situation lead me to act in a certain manner?”, “How can I deal with this situation more gracefully?” or “How do I rectify my default reaction should this scenario arise again?” 6. Make meaningful amends Once you’ve acknowledged your mistakes and apologized, consider what else you can do to resolve the mistake, and devise an action plan to achieve it. For instance, when I realized that sometimes my witty quips end up offending or hurting people around me, I decided to simply be more mindful about the way I put my thoughts into words. After all, there isn’t a way to take back the words we’ve already uttered, but it’s possible to prevent the hurt and misunderstandings if we communicate respectfully and with kindness in the first place. “Higher levels of self-forgiveness can also serve as a protective shield from conditions like depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and anxiety.” Bringing about meaningful changes in your behavior and actions can help you shift your focus from mistakes of the past to working towards a more effective solution for the future. 7. Be compassionate Have you ever noticed that we tend to be harder on ourselves, and find it easier to forgive others than ourselves for the wrongs of the past? Carole Pertofsky, Director Emerita for Wellness and Health Promotion at Stanford University, implies that we are prone to self-criticism and tend to judge ourselves harshly while mistaking it for self-discipline, which makes it difficult for us to exercise self-compassion. “Self-forgiveness is treating yourself as you would treat your own friend,” Pertofsky told Scope, the Stanford Medicine magazine. “It is a skill that involves mind, body, heart and action,” she continues. Indeed, we can learn to treat ourselves with compassion by embracing our imperfections and work towards living a life without regret. Takeaway: self-forgiveness Self-forgiveness may not come easily to most of us, as it needs us to acknowledge uncomfortable feelings, and serves to remind us of our flawed nature. However, coming to terms with your imperfections and forgiving yourself for any wrongdoing can positively impact several areas of your life. Learning how to forgive yourself with greater ease is an essential skill that requires some introspection and practice. Implementing these steps for self-forgiveness in practice will equip you to act more responsibly in the future, in addition to teaching you to exercise mindfulness and inculcate gratitude in everyday life. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Communication skills | Trust | Empathy Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

After suffering years of chronic pain, Jill Satterfield healed herself and developed her own unique practice: Vajra yoga and meditation. Sienna Saint-Cyr takes a deeper look at the method and the woman behind it. Most yoga practices involve breathing and movement. Some are body-based and focus little on the mind or proper breathing and movement. My first experience with yoga was this kind: the instructors showed off, while the others in class competed to see who could get into the more difficult pose. This level of competition and showboating didn’t center me, relax me, or bring me any sort of joy. It took years for me to discover that not all yoga was like the showy gym classes I’d taken. In fact, some instructors and practitioners take their methods to new levels by making the practice unique. There are many reasons to make a practice your own. Whether it’s body limitations, personal desire, or simply following your intuition. One woman, Jill Satterfield, created a method called Vajra Yoga & Meditation. In Vajra, she combines mindfulness, meditation, compassion, Buddhist philosophy, psychology, and yoga asana (pose/position of the body). Jill Satterfield: walking a different path Jill Satterfield's journey of discovering her own process began when she was fairly young, around the age of 19. She’d been diagnosed with chronic pain, and for years, doctors were unable to find the cause. She endured multiple surgeries and eventually, a doctor found the problem. Surgery repaired some of the issue — see the interview with Jennifer Raye — but it didn’t get rid of her pain. Later, Jill was told she’d have to live with the pain or take very risky steps to deaden her nerves. Jill had already explored movement and meditation and wasn’t going to take this bad news lying down. So, she decided to work with her mind, since that’s where the pain was being registered. After a few years of meditation and specific yoga practices, she managed to heal parts of herself that the doctors claimed wasn’t possible. This led her down the path of 35 years of what she coins “integrative healthcare”. RELATED: Healing trauma with yoga What Jill Satterfield has done – and continues to do – is combine many methods of yoga, meditation, relaxation, mindfulness, and so forth, to achieve her goals. Jill teaches internationally: she's a wellness program director, speaks and coaches, and is the founder of Vajra Yoga & Meditation and founder and Director of the School for Compassionate Action: Meditation, Yoga and Educational Support for Communities in Need. Indeed, Jill certainly knows her stuff! Shambhala Sun magazine (now Lion's Roar) named her one of the four leading yoga and Buddhist teachers in the United Kingdom. A happy and healthy life has more than one piece While there are many parts to her practice, one of Jill's methods I found helpful is called Checking In. Unlike some practices that have the practitioner focus solely on their breathing and body, during 'check in', Jill has the practitioner focus on the room as well: What temperature is it? Is there sound? What about smell? .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Check out how to check in: Jill Satterfield's yoga © YouTube/Eckhart Yoga Jill's method broadens the space of which we can be aware of our surroundings and present in them while keeping focus inside the body as well. It’s more of a meditation to use throughout the day or right before your yoga session. Combining the meditation and physical yoga movements really assist with balancing the mind and body. “After a few years of meditation and specific yoga practices, Jill Satterfield managed to heal parts of herself that the doctors claimed wasn’t possible.” Jill Satterfield also teaches how to move from the inside out. Rather than the very body-based yoga poses I’d previously tried, Jill teaches how to set the mind and heart straight first, then go into the asanas. The difference is rather than a rigid body pose — a thing I struggle with constantly — the body is much softer. An example of this is in her Heart Opening sequence. The idea is to pull from a place of love within, then carry that into our poses. To push that feeling into our bodies and outward into our surroundings. Trying to feel peace from the actual pose has never worked for me. But beginning in the heart and moving outward into the body gives me the inner calm that leads me to feel filled with joy on a daily basis. The art of heart: Jill's Heart Opening seqeuence © YouTube/Eckhart Yoga Mindfulness practices for yoga and every day Adding in the Buddhist beliefs takes this practice to a place of even higher intent as it involves a lot more mindfulness than typical yoga. Buddhism is a way of living. Not just a belief, but daily actions. Being mindful means being aware of thoughts and actions. Buddha Net has a Five Minute Introduction to Buddhism where they explain some of the basic principles. Again, much of this is about mindfulness. RELATED: Do mindfulness apps work? To fully understand how all of these things work together and make Jill Satterfield’s practice so effective, I did some research on how mindfulness itself helps us achieve happiness. In 2012 Berkeley Science Review did a study on mindfulness and published the results. Once completed, researchers found what connects mindfulness with happiness. In their studies, they discuss something called the 'self-discrepancy gap'. What this gap is, is the space between our actual self and our ideal self. It's in this gap that we fill ourselves with self-judgment. These two views of self tend to contradict one another, thus creating negative emotions because our natural drive is to close the gap between these two selves: we want to be this but we’re really that. After an eight-week mindfulness-based, cognitive therapy (for depression relapse prevention) session, those that completed the mindfulness therapy had fewer discrepancies between their actual self and ideal self. In essence, the gap became smaller. “Being mindful – which includes being present in the mind and body – directly leads to happiness. It shatters this internal conflict of these two aspects of ourselves.” While the review goes into several reasons as to why this happened, it's clear that mindfulness helps us to be present. When we’re present, we’re focused on the here and now. This isn’t to say we can’t have goals, but the practice helps us honor who we are in the moment. It helps us to see that the gap between who we are and who we want to be isn’t as big as we thought. RELATED: Happiness is a journey, not a destination Being mindful — which includes being present in the mind and body — directly leads to happiness. It shatters this internal conflict of these two aspects of ourselves. How your body can teach you to be mindful The Berkeley Science Review brings me back to what Jill Satterfield shared in her interview with Jennifer. Jill knew that she needed to listen to her body and mind. That she needed to honor what her body was telling her it needed. She understood that the true healing would happen in her mind and carry out into her body. If you haven’t tried this type of yoga practice, or if, like me, you were stuck in classes of people showing off, I can’t recommend Jill Satterfield’s practice enough. She is supportive of people making their practices their own. She coaches as needed because she understands that we know what our bodies need. The more present we are in our bodies, the faster we can go about healing ourselves. Jill Satterfield serves as an example of what we can achieve when we honour our needs and use integrative therapy to heal. ● Main photo: Colorbox.com Portrait of Jill Satterfield: vajrayoga.com Written by Sienna Saint-Cyr Sienna Saint-Cyr is an author, advocate, and the founder of SinCyr Publishing. She speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on the importance of having a healthy body image, understanding enthusiastic consent, using sexuality to promote healing, navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships, having Complex PTSD, and more. Sienna loves sharing her journey of healing and finding happiness with her readers. Along with writing erotica and romance, Sienna speaks at conventions, workshops, and for private gatherings on such sex-positive topics as a healthy body image, using sexuality to promote healing, and navigating diverse or non-traditional relationships. She writes for several websites. Find out more.

In the need for some feel-good news? Ed Gould shares his Top Ten round-up from the past month, from amazing seaweed water pods to a new alternative for coffee waste... 1. Mindfulness centre of excellence to open In an exciting bit of positive news for mindfulness fans, the University of London announced in April that it would open a centre of excellence in mindfulness in 2019. Academics believe it will bring together researchers from a wide range of disciplines to share ideas, with the goal of increasing the level of scientific evidence for all sorts of mindfulness-based practices. The university president said the centre would lead to world-leading research that would have a real impact on the global mindfulness debate. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged 2. Seaweed drinking vessels set sail at the London Marathon! The organisers of the London Marathon have to deal with thousands of single-use water bottles (which, of course, can be an eyesore as well as an environmental headache). At this April's race, however, drinking pods derived from a biodegradable material were used for the first time. Now expected to be the norm, the use of seaweed-based drinking vessels could run and run... and run! Both completely edible and flavourless, the pods simply break in the mouth, releasing the fluid within. Smart stuff! .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Water works: these pods could reduce plastic bottles 3. Could plastic help in the fight against climate change? OK, so plastic is rarely the source of a good news story, but this April, reporters at The Science Times bucked this trend. According to them, research at the Chinese Academy of Sciences' Institute of Metal Research has shown how certain plastic crystals can be harnessed to provide a refrigerating effect. If it works out, then the energy consumed by chiller cabinets, fridge-freezers and air-conditioning units could be vastly reduced, thereby helping to lower carbon-emitting fossil fuel usage. 4. Mother of pearl could be used to help bone repairs A 3D printing technique has been deployed by scientists to make mother of pearl for the first time, as reported in The London Economic. Tougher than many man-made materials, mother of pearl can be manufactured, but it's costly and involves some pretty nasty chemical processes. This new approach means a relatively cheap and safe way of making the material which can be turned into medical applications like artificial bones and implants. It's all down to the research of Professor Anne Meyer from the biology department at the University of Rochester. 5. A surprising alternative to palm oil In good news for anyone who checks their food for palm oil, two Scottish entrepreneurs have come up with a sustainable alternative to this pervasive foodstuff. Their eco-friendly approach is to use waste coffee granules (which are either thrown away or composted locally, at present). Working under the name Revive Eco, the pair are developing a process to extract and purify the oils found in coffee waste, which could then be used in cosmetics, food, and pharmaceuticals. Revive Eco has already gained £235,000 of funding for their idea from the Zero Waste agency in Scotland. Something brewing: could coffee replace palm oil? 6. Breakthrough found in the fight against Parkinson's disease Scientists at the University of Ontario in Canada have found a way to restore movement to patients with advanced stages of this debilitating condition. According to reports from the BBC, the team's brain implantation method has produced results which exceeded all expectations. They hope to turn their approach into a full treatment which will restore both mobility and confidence to sufferers. 7. Proton therapy to be deployed to save memories Using any sort of medical technique inside the brain to fight against tumours is tough. According to BT, this is particularly the case with younger patients but now safeguarding childhood brain activities – including protecting precious memories – will be possible thanks to the use of proton therapies. Already rolled out to adult patients on the NHS in the UK in April, the superior accuracy of the method should be able to help children with tumours to preserve the healthy parts of their brains, thanks to the Danish research which has pioneered the technique. RELATED: The Bright Side – positive news from March 8. Mindfulness is helpful for carers A report in Science Daily stated that the role of mindfulness should not be underestimated when it comes to people caring for others. In research undertaken at the University of Illinois, it appears that practising mindfulness techniques can help those offering care to relax and focus on the important job they're doing. By gaining mindfulness-based cognitive therapy skills, the researchers found that their work with veterans was most useful in reducing levels of stress. Care calmly: being mindful can help those looking after others 9. A huge clean up of Mount Everest has begun According to the Kathmandu Post, an operation to clear much of the rubbish which has simply been abandoned on the world's highest mountain got underway in April. Although other clearance campaigns have operated in the past, this one is on a much larger scale. The operation has already started to clear rubbish from Everest Base Camp but it should go on to remove around ten tonnes of material from the whole mountainside. 10. World's rainforests to be helped by drones According to the Evening Standard, drone technology could make a significant impact on the fight against global deforestation. Of course, trees help to capture carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and store it in their trunks. Therefore, speeding up the process of planting new ones can only help to combat climate change. Helpfully, an Oxfordshire-based start-up has been working on ways to do just that. It has deployed drones successfully in Myanmar to plant new trees in a mangrove forest, a global habitat which has been severely deforested in recent years. ● Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Considering escaping the consumer-driven world and living a simpler life? Calvin Holbrook is and he's not alone. Read about the 'voluntary simplicity' movement and discover six benefits of a simplistic lifestyle, including discovering your purpose, better health and increased focus. Since hitting my 40s, the thought of voluntary choosing to live a simpler life appeals more and more. Living in large and exciting cities has provided great opportunities and entertainment, but what I once found exciting I now find challenging. My brain feels increasingly overwhelmed with noise, excess stimulation, distractions, and ever-increasing crowds, all helping to pump up my anxiety levels. As a result, I find myself thinking about a quieter, more simplistic way of life, being closer to nature and in a more peaceful setting. However, living the simple life doesn’t have to mean shacking up alone in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere (although, actually, that sounds quite appealing). In fact, there are many practical and not-so-drastic ways to create a more simplistic lifestyle for yourself, and the benefits are proven by science. Moreover, it seems I’m not alone in thinking this way. So-called 'simple living' or ‘voluntary simplicity' is a recognized lifestyle steeped in history, one that minimizes consumption and the pursuit of wealth and material goods. Individuals choose voluntary simplicity in order to attain a simpler but more meaningful life. Many religious groups, including the monastic orders from the Middle Ages to the modern-day Amish and Quakers include simple living is an essential element of teachings. Living a simple life: being in nature is one attraction More recently, the modern simplicity movement arose from the counterculture movement in the 1960s and 1970s. Then, in 1981, this movement gained a new moniker with the release of Duane Elgin’s book Voluntary Simplicity. In it, he explained the virtues of “a way of life that is outwardly simple, inwardly rich.” During the 90s, the concept of minimalism, which includes elements of simple living, also became popular. What does living a simple life involve? While minimalism is mainly focused on reducing or giving up possessions, living a simple life often includes more elements. Choosing simplification creates a life filled with meaning, a life lived on your own terms. It helps create the time and space to pursue your true interests and passions. Simple living flies in the face of the common values of the Western world most of us have grown up with. Living a simple life means stripping away the nonessential stuff to focus your time and energy on the things that matter the most to you. How can I simplify my life? As I mentioned at the start, moving away for a simple, quieter life in the countryside or coast is a dream for me and many others. However, the reality is, many cannot just jump and do that because of work or family commitments. But, in the meantime – and regardless of where you're living – there are many practical steps you can take to simplify your life and feel the benefits. “Living a simple life doesn’t just mean giving up your possessions. Choosing simplification creates a life filled with meaning, a life lived on your own terms.” Examples include reducing your possessions, being mindful of new purchases, limiting your time on social media and smartphones, stopping attending social occasions you’re indifferent about and eliminating multitasking. Doing some or all of these things can bring you great benefits and happiness – so, let’s take a more detailed look at these six key benefits of simplifying your life, backed up by science. 1. Simplify your life to learn more about yourself When you’re not distracting yourself with social media, binging on Netflix series, shopping for another gadget, or filling your diary with must-do events, you’re giving yourself the time and mental space to be grateful for what you already have, plus providing the opportunity to reflect and learn more about yourself. In fact, living simply can help us find meaning and grow spiritually, as it shifts the focus away from material possessions and helps us to look inwardly. It helps to create more silence – and even solitude – prime factors for spiritual reflection. Of course, sometimes reflecting on our lives and who we are can be as uncomfortable as it is rewarding, but ultimately it helps to focus on who we are, what gives our life purpose and meaning, and what we want to do with the rest of our lives. In turn, living with purpose and a meaningful life has been to shown to increase happiness levels. 2. A simpler lifestyle can improve relationships In his essay Voluntary Simplicity: Characterization, Select Psychological Implications, and Societal Consequences, Amitai Etzioli argues that when we stop focusing our time on acquiring material possessions, we’re more likely to focus on relationships. Likewise, spending excessive time on social media or being occupied all the time can mean other relationships suffer. If we reduce or remove these things we free up more time to spend with friends and family. A simple life can improve your relationships Additionally, developing a more simple way of life may mean editing your friendship group. Perhaps you have lots of different friends that you spend time doing different actives with, for example, the 'party' friend, the 'shopping' friend, the 'gym buddy'. By simplifying your life and doing less, it could mean shifting your focus to having fewer, more quality friendships and closer relationships. The interaction between you may also be more sincere, as you will be free of the need to impress. In turn, there are health benefits attached to simplifying your friendships. Various studies have found that developing strong, solid friendships can reduce your illness risk – from being less likely to get a common cold to having a lower risk of developing obesity or heart disease. A Harvard study also found that keeping close friends could promote brain health as we grow older. 3. Simple living boosts your bank balance In many developed countries, the disparity between what we buy and what we need leads to huge overconsumption that drains the Earth’s resources and accelerates climate change. Voluntary simplicity is a lifestyle that minimizes consumption and the pursuit of wealth and material goods. Simplifying your life by reducing consumption means you will spend (and owe) less, and the benefits of financial independence can include less stress and worry, and consequently better sleep. That could benefit a lot of people: according to a UK study from 2018 which questioned 2,000 people, money worries affect 40 per cent of the population. “Living a simple life means stripping away the non-essential stuff to focus your time and energy on the things that matter the most to you.” To limit your consumption, firstly, take time to look at your outgoings and consider what you need to spend your money on. Those daily takeaway coffees? Upgrades to the latest iPhone or Samsung? Netflix and apps subscriptions? That gym membership you hardly ever use? There are so many chances to minimize our spending, so cancel what you don’t need and change your habits. Additionally, you may be being charged for subscriptions for things you’ve totally forgotten about, so go through your bank statement and check. Secondly, aim to eliminate any existing debt you have and only live within your means. Stop using credit cards and, instead, develop a monthly budget. Thirdly, if you’ve decided to simplify your belongings, make yourself some extra money by selling unwanted stuff on eBay (or donate it to charity, of course). Likewise, if you decide to simplify your social life to focus on things such as connecting with nature, walking, meditation, this will also benefit your bank balance – most of these things are free or have little expenditure involved! 4. Living a simple life is great for your health Living a simplistic lifestyle can also be beneficial to your physical and mental health. A 2014 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found a link between materialism (valuing possessions and money) – and poor physical health. The team, from Knox College, Illinois, also found an even stronger link between materialism and engagement in risky behaviors that could damage physical health, including drinking alcohol, smoking and drug use. So, it makes sense that the reverse – having a non-materialistic attitude – could be positive for health. This theory was backed up in an unpublished survey from the University of the Sciences in Pennsylvania. It found that 90 per cent of people who identified as coming from the simple living movement reported improved physical health after choosing to make a change to earn less money. Almost as many respondents also claimed that their mental health had improved. Simple living in the country © shutterstock/Monkey Business Images The reasons for this could be due to the fact that developing a more simplistic lifestyle often means less stress and increased rest. This benefits could come from spending more time with friends/family, getting more physical activity, and changing jobs to find something more fulfilling and less money-orientated. Additionally, voluntary simplifiers often make a move away from big urban hubs to the countryside or seaside, which also has potential health benefits. A 2012 study from the University of Exeter showed that coastal populations in the UK are healthier than those inland, believed to be party due to the stress relief of living by the sea and greater opportunities for physical activity. The coast also offers cleaner, healthier air which helps to promote better sleep (which we know is essential for good mental health). 5. Simplistic living means increased focus Reducing possessions and commitments correlates to a reduction in distractions and therefore less physical – and mental – clutter. As you simplify your life and remove distractions, you create space to breathe and focus more carefully on what remains. RELATED: The Top 5 benefits of gratitude practice In fact, the physical reduction of clutter in your home has been proven to boost concentration. Researchers at the Princeton University Neuroscience Institute studied the effects of clutter and published the results in the Journal of Neuroscience. They concluded that clearing clutter from your home and work environments increased the ability to focus and process information effectively. Their research also showed that an uncluttered space led to people feeling less irritable, more productive and distracted less often. “Living simply can help us find meaning and grow spiritually, as it shifts the focus away from material possessions and helps us to look inwardly.” Simplifying your life by focusing on one job at a time, rather than multitasking, can also boost concentration. Multitasking used to be championed as effective, but Psychology Today reports that in reality it can decrease productivity levels by up to 40 per cent. Many of us are constantly switched on to multiple technologies: on average, we check our mobile phones every 12 minutes, causing further distractions and interruptions which affect our ability to concentrate. Choose to simplify life by limiting these interruptions: remove or reduce social media usage and switch off annoying pop-up notifications. 6. Living a simple life helps the environment While the benefits of voluntary simplicity described here are clear for the individual, simple living also works for the wider environment. It’s been previously suggested that if everyone on Earth consumed as much as the average US citizen, four Earths would be needed to sustain them. Consuming less and having fewer possessions decreases the amount of waste a person produces. In fact, there are many practical ways you can change you habits to live more simply and help the environment. Buying less clothes is a great place to start. Thanks to fast fashion, the textile industry is now one of the biggest environmental polluters and consumes energy throughout the supply chain. Recycle or donate old clothing © shutterstock/wavebreakmedia Humans consume 400 per cent more clothes than they did just two decades ago. About 80 billion pieces of clothing are consumed annually, and the U.S.A alone produces 11 million tons of textile waste each year. So, instead of buying cheap fashions, seek out more durable outfits that will last, and if they no longer fit, place unwanted clothes in a material recycling bin; never just throw them away. There are many other ways cutting consumption and waste helps to protect the environment. For example, instead of buying bottled water, buy a reusable flask. Instead of updating to the latest technology, enjoy what you currently have. As consumers we rarely consider the context and impact when buying products, for example, considering the workers and factories that made a product, the journey to the store a product made, how the packaging was produced, etc. Living a simple life means becoming more mindful of what you consume and thinking more about a product’s journey and environmental impact, therefore making more considered purchases. Conclusions on simple living According to the Chinese philosopher Confucius, “Life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated.” I would have to agree. For me, it's clear these science-backed benefits of living a simpler life are enormous and can only add to increased happiness too. Simple living and sustainable living go hand-in-hand, and having a healthier environment will also lead to better health for generations to come. Rather than buying more and more possessions, consider spending more of your time and money on experiences: they leave only memories and nothing in the trash can! ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online Academy classes Sport & Physical Activity | Purpose of Life | Community Living Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our online magazine, loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! He also works as a collage artist. Find out more.

Feeling unhappy is usually viewed as something to be avoided, but as Calvin Holbrook writes, studies show that cherophobia – the fear of happiness – is real. So, why are some people afraid of happiness, and can the condition be treated? It’s probably true to say that many of us are searching for happiness throughout our lives, be it from loving relationships, career satisfaction, or a safe and comfortable home. So, the idea that someone could suffer from a fear of happiness sounds hard to believe. But, in fact, there are some people who completely avoid any feelings of happiness and are indeed afraid of the consequences of being joyful. This phenomenon is known as cherophobia, or the fear of happiness. The term comes from the Greek word chairo, which means ‘I rejoice’. Now, we can all empathize with a fear of flying, snakes or heights – we may even share some of those phobias ourselves – but an aversion to happiness? It’s tricky to get to grips with the idea that a person could be afraid to be happy. Cherophobia: the definition In truth, people living with cherophobia are not always fearful of the pleasant feelings happiness can bring, but are, in fact, more concerned about the possible negative effects – disappointment, sadness, loneliness – which can follow when whatever is causing the happiness stops. Indeed, some people with cherophobia have problems to grant themselves the slightest joy or pleasure as they feel undeserving of it. The assumption is that happiness cannot be stable or constant, and only bad luck will follow, so there’s little point believing in happiness and well-being in the first place. Unfortunately, worrying about being happy blocks a healthy way of life. That’s because humans need positive experiences to reinforce and refuel ourselves, both mentally and physically. Additionally, the production of so-called ‘happiness hormones’ (endorphins such as serotonin and dopamine), is important for our well-being. Those of us who do not produce enough of these endorphins may develop depression. Life on the edge: those with cherophobia are often depressed Indeed, the attempt to deliberately avoid or oppress feelings of happiness has a counterproductive effect on the human body. Working against nature causes stress, which in turn sets free stress hormones (instead of ones linked to well-being). Depression and fear of happiness Scientists assume a connection between cherophobia and depression, although, as it's a recent study area, it’s still not entirely clear whether the fear of happiness is the cause, result or side effect of depression. However, a 2013 study did identify different correlations or connections of fear and happiness. Researchers in New Zealand and England, UK, incorporated a ‘Fear of Happiness Scale’ to measure to what degree participants associated feeling happy to then having something bad happening afterwards. The results, published in the Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, suggested that those people with depression often avoided activities that could potentially lead to happy feelings, such as meeting with friends or going to parties. “People living with cherophobia are not always fearful of the pleasant feelings happiness can bring, but are, in fact, more concerned about the possible negative effects.” Furthermore, the researchers suggested that a spiral develops in which the common depression symptom of social withdrawal reinforces the worry that if a person experience fun or happy feelings during an event, it will only follow with disappointment, loneliness or other negative letdown. Cherophobia and memory link The fact that our brain is hardwired to focus on the negative rather than the positive also comes into play when exploring aversion to happiness. That’s because people living with cherophobia may have previously experienced life events in which happy times were swiftly followed by a negative or upsetting event. Indeed, those with an aversion to happiness have often filtered their perceptions to remember only the bad thing that happened after a happy time, rather than the joyful experience itself. Painful events, be they physical or emotional, can often create such a strong memory that they overshadow other important or happy times. And if these strong emotional memories develop around happiness being somehow linked to disappointment or pain, this can lead to people avoiding opportunities for happiness due to the fear that something bad is bound to follow. Fear of happiness and culture link Of course, happiness is evaluated completely differently depending on the respective cultural background. For example, in a 2013 study, 'Cross-Cultural Validation of Fear of Happiness Scale Across 14 National Groups', Joshanloo, Weijers and other researchers identified four key reasons for fear of happiness: a belief that happiness will cause bad things to happen a belief that happiness will cause you to become a bad person a belief that expressing happiness is somehow bad for you a belief that pursuing happiness is bad for you and others Interestingly, on this last point, the authors wrote: “Some people – in Western and Eastern cultures – are wary of happiness because they believe that bad things, such as unhappiness, suffering and death, tend to happen to happy people.” In another study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, US-Americans and Chinese participants predicted the expected course of their curve of happiness over their entire life span. While the Americans believed in a continuous course of happiness, the Chinese proceeded more in waves, back and forth, believing in happiness fluctuations. RELATED: Happiness across different cultures The reason for this might be found in Taoism, because according to Taoist philosophy, one is supposed to accept that everything is constantly in flux. Indeed, the pursuit of happiness in countries pronounced by Taoism is less common than in Western countries. The aforementioned Joshanloo, a scientist from Chungbuk National University in South Korea, also carried out a global study about fear of happiness in 2014. The study was made up of 2,700 students from different countries, including Iran, Russia, Japan, USA, Netherlands and ten others. Don't suffer in silence: cherophobia can be treated The results showed that except for participants from Kenya and India, those people in all the other countries did exhibit some fear of happiness. However, there were no major differences in this among the countries themselves. It turned out, however, that in cultures which are more in line with conformity, the fear of envy is bigger than in compared countries. Hence, people in Eastern Asia have more inhibition to show their happiness than, for example, Americans. Happiness aversion: solutions? Studies show that, for the most part, the ability to be happy is innate. While there are people who are threatened to become broken by bad strokes of fate, others overcome them with amazing strength. But not every person missing the happiness gene has to surrender to this fate. Experts talk about so-called ‘happy habits’, the small routine ways we can learn how to increase happiness. For those with cherophobia, this is a great way to expand their personal perception of happiness. Attentiveness and mindfulness are the magic words in this context. That’s because it’s not the big feelings of happiness from, say, falling in love or when a child is born, but rather the little daily things which nourish us psychologically. Things such as the first warm sunbeams on the skin after a long winter, the smell of fresh coffee in the morning, or just-cut grass: all of these can make us happy, if we just allow it. RELATED: Finding happiness – 11 science-backed ways to increase well-being For those living with cherophobia or the fear of happiness, the learning experience from enjoying these small, regular moments of happiness is key. That’s because such moments can usually only be positive – there can be no negative result – no disappointment, envy, punishment – or other negative emotion attached to them. “Those with an aversion to happiness have filtered their perceptions to remember only the bad thing that happened after a happy time.” Some therapists assume that the fear of being happy should be treated like other phobias: with a gradual approach to the fear-triggering moment. Psychologists in this case talk about exposure as it is applied in treating the fear of flying. Little by little the patients face their fear until finally, and in the best case scenario, they can even master an entire flight fearless. The fact remains there is no one-size-fits-all solution for those affected by cherophobia. However, there are sources for happiness from which everyone can draw. First of all, self-knowledge is important: knowing what you like or want in life and and how you can achieve it. Also, the benefits of gratitude include boosting our well-being. Those of us who learn to appreciate what we have got tend to be living a more satisfied life. Cherophobia: conclusions If you have an aversion to happiness or generally having problems finding happiness, consider talking about it with a therapist. Likewise, it’s important to question your own perception of happiness more accurately and ask yourself some basic but important questions: what is happiness for me? Who or what helps me to be happy? How do I handle my feelings of happiness? How do I want to find happiness? All of these are exciting questions, and knowing or just considering the answers can lead you on your way to escaping cherophobia and your fear of happiness and experiencing joy on a day-to-day basis – because everyone deserves to be happy. ● Main image: shutterstock/ESB Professional happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude | Compassion | Resilience Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, as well being an artist and lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

We all spend too much time 'in our heads' now and again. But overthinking regularly can be detrimental to our mental health if those thoughts are negative, so it's important to remember you are not your thoughts. Dee Marques offers some mindful exercises to help you do just that. Have you ever wondered how many thoughts we have in a day? It may seem impossible to calculate, but actually, we do have an answer. In fact, psychologists at a Canadian university have quantified the average number of daily thoughts an adult has as 6,200. This figure seems to confirm that we spend a lot of time in our heads. And there are plenty more studies to confirm this. For example, an article published in Science magazine reported that we spend more than 46 per cent of our waking hours thinking about things that aren’t related to what we’re doing in any given moment. Of course, thinking isn’t all bad and letting the mind wander can have its benefits. However, from a mental health perspective, it’s important to be aware of the content of our thoughts, and of the impact they can have when we let them run loose. Negative self-talk and rumination are real problems. Indeed, back in the early 2000s, researchers at the United States National Science Foundation estimated that 80 per cent of our thoughts are negative, and 95 per cent of them are repetitive. Looking at these statistics, it’s easy to understand how much our thoughts can affect our quality of life and potential for enjoyment. Get out of your head: you are not your thoughts! shutterstock/G-Stock Studio Psychiatrist Sigmund Freud once asked, “Where does a thought go when it’s forgotten?” Although this complex question has no definitive answer, there’s one thing we know: your thoughts leave a footprint in your mind. Sometimes, they can become a part of your identity, but here’s the thing: you are not your thoughts. We all have the ability to control our thoughts and moderate their impact. In this article, I’ll explain why you are not your thoughts and how you can curb the effects of negative thinking on your everyday life. The negative effects of brain chatter Self-talk, brain chatter, mental noise… whatever we call it, it's important to understand that allowing certain mental patterns to take control can be harmful. Well-being is a matter of balance. If we spend too much time focusing on thoughts, we run the risk of tipping the scale too heavily in one direction. In other words, if we think too much, that can mean that we’re acting too little, and life requires a healthy balance between thinking and acting. “If we don’t control brain chatter, we may end up losing sight of what’s real and what isn’t. Thoughts are not facts, and you are not your thoughts.” Moreover, if we don’t learn how to curb our negative inner dialogue, we can expose ourselves to unnecessary suffering and unhappiness. Living in our heads and dwelling on our thoughts can lead to rumination. This potentially toxic habit can cause multiple mental and physical health issues, from depression to high blood pressure, including insomnia, anxiety, and excessive alcohol consumption. Rumination is everything but productive. When we enter this state, we’re more likely to get trapped in cyclical thoughts and to believe we have no power to act on whatever is worrying us. The result is a pessimistic and passive outlook on life – the opposite of the healthy belief that you are not your thoughts. And while we’re stuck ruminating about the past or the future, we’re not acting in the present, which is the only thing over which we have some degree of control. RELATED: Learn how to stop overthinking Another danger is that if we don’t control brain chatter, we may end up losing sight of what’s real and what isn’t. You must remember that thoughts are not facts, and that you are not your thoughts. Let’s look at how to do this. You are not your thoughts: how to make it real First, identify what causes the problem. Keep a diary of your thoughts to see if you can find any patterns to when they appear or what triggers them. Common triggers are watching the news, mindlessly scrolling through social media feeds, and monotonous or repetitive tasks, like cleaning or driving the usual commute. Once you’ve identified the triggers, think of something that will keep your mind busy when the thoughts appear. For example, if this happens when you’re driving, make a habit of listening to uplifting podcasts about happiness or audiobooks. A digital detox can be a real eye opener and a big step in helping you realise that you are not your thoughts. RELATED: How to stop ruminating with these 3 techniques The second suggestion is not to suppress those thoughts completely. You don’t want to encourage the “don’t think of an elephant” effect. Instead, give yourself 15 minutes a day to calmly consider your worries. Set an alarm and once it goes off, remind yourself that you are not your thoughts, and carry on with your day. It can also help to take an active approach to your worries. Write them down and think about what can you do about them. You may want to use brainstorming techniques to be creative with problems instead of letting them define your life. Exercises to practise If uncontrolled thoughts have become mental noise that drains your energy, you can learn to silence them with mindfulness. This practice trains our brain to observe thoughts instead of automatically acting or reacting on them. Here is an exercise suggestion: The key is to observe thoughts with curiosity and without judgement, noticing how they feel as they enter and leave your mind. Make a mental note of whether the thoughts run fast or slow, what are the common themes, find out if they’re repetitive or different. As you do this, you can imagine a crystal clear stream. It’s autumn and tree leaves are falling. Imagine each leaf is a thought, and watch them fall, enter the stream, and be washed away until you can no longer see them. Learn to simply observe your thoughts with curiosity After the mindfulness exercise, you can also try to find out the intention behind those thoughts. Every emotion has a positive purpose, but sometimes our mind doesn’t allow us to see it, because it goes into rumination mode automatically. For example, anxious thoughts could signal a need for self-care and protection. Sadness can prompt us to adjust to new circumstances and develop new tools to thrive. Whenever negative thoughts make you feel anxious, find some quiet space to be present in the moment. You can sit or lie down in a comfortable position and focus on how your body feels against the floor or chair, taking your time to do a body scan from head to toe. If brain chatter tries to intrude, be firm and say you are in charge now. Remember: you are not your thoughts and your thoughts aren’t always a reflection of reality. “If brain chatter tries to intrude, be firm and say you are in charge. Remember: you are not your thoughts and your thoughts aren't always a reflection of reality.” Repeated mindfulness sessions can help you win the fight between a restless “monkey mind” and the logical or rational mind. Over time, you’ll notice how your power to deflect unwanted thoughts improves, and how the idea that you are not your thoughts becomes a reality. One last suggestion is to work on self-acceptance. It takes time to get hold of your thinking habits and to fully understand that you are not your thoughts, so don’t be too hard on yourself in you don’t get it right 100 per cent of the times. And don’t forget to look over previous blog posts, where we listed great mindfulness podcasts to keep you motivated or explored different ways of incorporating mindfulness into your daily life. Takeaway: you are not your thoughts Negative self-talk can make it hard to believe that you are not your thoughts, and mental noise can be draining. But as powerful beings, we have the resources to be in control and to stop letting our thoughts dictate how our mood and actions. Try the suggestions in this article, and if in doubt, remember: you are not your thoughts, you’re much more than that! • Main image: shutterstock/Dragana Gordic happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Letting go | Acceptance | Self Care Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

The ancient technique of tummo breathing has been practised for decades by Tibetan monks in order to raise their body temperature. But could its benefits also extend to help stress-related conditions? Dee Marques finds out... During the past year, most of us have struggled with anxiety or fear in one way or another. If you’re part of the happiness community, you’re probably familiar with some common tools and techniques that can help reduce stress and anxiety. In previous blog posts, we’ve covered breathing and meditation techniques like Tonglen or Kundalini. Today it’s time to dive deep into another helpful method to feel centred and calm: tummo breathing. Tummo breathing: the studies Let’s start with a little background. Tummo, which is sometimes called Chandali yoga, is a Tibetan meditation technique that relies on a mix of breathing and visualization exercises. This ancient practice is mentioned in sacred texts dating back to the 8th century, where the word “tummo” means “heat”. RELATED: Visualization meditation – how to practise it The fact that tummo originated in Tibet isn’t a coincidence. Due to its high altitude, temperatures in the Tibetan plateau often drop below zero. You probably know how difficult it is to focus and relax when you feel cold, and this is something that Tibetan Buddhist monks had to deal with too. The practice of tummo breathing emerged in response to this challenge, as its main purpose is to awaken the body’s inner fire. As someone who is affected by low temperatures, I was intrigued about tummo breathing. After all, if we’re able to control body temperature, we’re also able to control other biological processes that interfere with our inner peace. But is it really possible to do this? Tummo breathing originates from Tibetan monks When I was researching this piece, I came across a study that confirms how tummo is able to do what it claims. The study in question was conducted by researchers from Harvard University who had met the Dalai Lama during his visit to the United States. Throughout the 1980s, researchers visited remote Buddhist monasteries in Tibet and northern India. Incredibly, they found that monks who practised tummo breathing could raise the temperature of their skin – by up to seven degrees. • JOIN US! Discover more about meditation at happiness.com • This feat is even more astonishing when we consider the conditions under which these monks meditated. According to the study, they only wore basic woollen robes and slept outdoors directly on rocks, with no mattress or insulation other than their clothes. Overnight, temperatures dropped to up to -17C and the monks slept without so much as a shiver. Another study went even further by wrapping freezing-cold and wet sheets around the monks’ shoulders while their meditated. The results were the same: not even a shiver. Later on, magnetic resonance studies found that during meditation, the monks had an unusual blood flow in the brain area and they hypothesized that this allowed the brain to take over body functions like temperature and metabolism. “Monks who practised tummo breathing could raise the temperature of their skin – by up to seven degrees.” These findings point at the many uses of tummo breathing, even if we’re not Tibetan monks. One of the leading researchers in the studies stated that tummo can deepen the connection between mind and body, and give us better tools to treat stress-related conditions, including high blood pressure, depression, insomnia and anxiety. Tummo is worth a try even if you already practise other types of mediation, since it’s one more way to expand your range of stress-reducing tools. The more tools you have, the better equipped you’ll be to protect your well-being. The benefits of tummo breathing Being able to raise or maintain a reasonable body temperature is an interesting perk, but after researching tummo, I’d say this is far from its main benefit or purpose. In fact, tummo can give us a deeper appreciation of the mind-body connection and of how powerful our thoughts can be. This practice can bring similar benefits involved in other breathing techniques, including a healthier stress response that benefits the immune system. Moreover, deep breathing can tone up the vagus nerve, which is responsible for controlling the correct functioning of several organs. • JOIN US! Sign-up free to happiness.com to share your story and challenges • And, if done regularly or in combination with other controlled breathing techniques, such as diaphragmatic breathing, tummo breathing can bring all the above benefits plus core stability, increased tolerance for high-intensity exercise, and a reduced risk of muscle injury. How to practise tummo breathing The basic idea is to tap into your internal energy through a series of breathing exercises and visualizations so that “psychic heat” becomes actual heat. Suggested position for tummo breathing shutterstock/kei907 To start with, sit in a comfortable position. Before you start this session, exhale forcefully to clear any stagnant energy from the lungs. Then follow these steps: Bring your hands together in front of you and rub them energetically. When your hands are warm, place your left hand on your navel, and the right hand over it. Keep your hands in this position for the entire session. Start the first tummo breathing sequence: inhale deeply while pulling your shoulders back and letting the rib cage expand. Exhale loudly bringing your shoulders forward. Repeat the inhale-exhale sequence 3 or 4 times. Now switch to gentle breathing for a few seconds. Start the second sequence by inhaling deeply. Hold your breath for a couple of seconds and keep your shoulders square. Exhale, let your shoulders relax, and push your abdomen out. Repeat the inhale-exhale sequence 2 or 3 times. Switch to gentle breathing for a few seconds. Repeat the first sequence 5 times. Before you exhale for the last time, hold your breath for 2 seconds, then exhale slowly. There’s a second version of tummo breathing where instead of pushing the abdomen out, you let it go back to its natural position. You can see a demonstration in this YouTube video, from minute 18:00 onward. The first part of the video demonstrates the exercise described above. “Tummo breathing can give us better tools to treat stress-related conditions, including high blood pressure, depression, insomnia and anxiety.” In Tibetan Buddhism, tummo breathing is accompanied by visualization exercises to further raise the body’s temperature. The main technique involves concentrating on images of flames or fire and associated them to key parts of the body. For example: Visualize the area surrounding the second chakra being fuelled by a fast-burning fire. Visualize the spinal cord as if it was made up of flames which rise up your body from the navel to the crown of the head. Visualize your hands and feet as if they were the sun, and focus on their radiating and warming effect. The takeaway: tummo breathing Tummo breathing is an ancient technique that can help establish a deeper connection between mind and body. Even if you’re not able to raise your body temperature like a Tibetan monk, tummo can be an interesting addition to your arsenal of meditation and relaxation techniques. • Main image: Dmitry Kalinovsky happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Enlightenment | Meditation | Stress management Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

The news agenda is still being dominated by Coronavirus, but let's remember that there are still great things happening around the globe. Ed Gould shares his Top Ten round-up from March to uplift and inspire you. The world went through a big change in April as many countries around the world adjusted to a new way of living. Of course, much of the mainstream media only carried stories relating to the global pandemic but there were many other stories of hope and happiness, too. Here are our Top 10 from the month. 1. Plants are all of a glow, according to science The Guardian and many other media outlets reported the happy news that plants can be made to glow in the dark. Scientists from Imperial College London have come up with a commercial means of engineering plants so they will emit light as they grow. This potentially means that we could use less electrical lights in our homes in the future and rely on house plants instead. The technique uses the same sort of bioluminescence found in certain species of fungi to make glow-in-the-dark foliage. 2. Global surge in turtle activity Turtles all over the world are taking to beaches in greater numbers. It seems that the reduction in people visiting the sandy beaches turtles choose to lay their eggs in has meant an increase in females have come ashore to do just that. Reports from all over the world have suggested that turtle numbers will be on the rise in the foreseeable future because currently people are not disturbing these marine creatures. According to David Godfrey, executive director of the Sea Turtle Conservancy, the rise in turtle activity is directly related to the recent changes in human behaviour. Flippin' good: turtles are coming ashore more shutterstock/Neophucket 3. Contact lens technology could help those with diabetes Medical technology is often used to assess chronic conditions and this is certainly the case with diabetes. In a novel twist, a biocompatible polymer has been deployed on contact lenses for the first time to give those living with diabetes some real insight into their blood sugar levels. Rather than taking a kit out to check themselves, people can use the technology simply by blinking. The lenses will allow for up-to-the-minute assessments to be made with ease. 4. Mindfulness linked to forgiveness by science The scholarly journal Emotions published a new paper on MBSR techniques and their links to forgiveness and forgiving attitudes in April. According to PsyPost, the study, which was conducted by a professor at Radboud University Nijmegen in the Netherlands, focused on the way mindfulness can play a big part in our interpersonal relationships. The study discovered that people who listened to guided mindful-attention instructions went on to show higher levels of forgiveness regarding past offences than a sample group. RELATED: How to practise forgiveness 5. Poll finds people love working from home A survey undertaken in India, the UK, Brazil, Germany, the US, Australia and New Zealand has found that most office employees prefer working from home. The temporary requirement in many places to do so has meant some adjustments but, according to the New York Post, two-thirds of respondents liked the fact that they were spending less time and money commuting. The OnePoll survey also found that most people liked the flexibility it offered as well as the environmental benefits it has brought about. When work works: home office shutterstock/Rido 6. Coal use for electrical power on the wane Coal is one of the worst fossil fuels for the amount of carbon it releases into the environment. In April, coal-powered electrical production hit an all-time low in the UK according to reports in the British press. What was less widely reported was the fact that within seven days of one another, both Austria and Sweden closed their remaining coal-powered electrical plants for good. According to Inhabitat, both countries have achieved this feat ahead of target. Belgium has already gone coal-free and France looks set to be the next major economy to finally end coal use by 2022. 7. Alzheimer's treatment developed in the form of a spray A report in Interesting Engineering suggested that a Japanese team may have come up with a very innovative way of treating the effects of Alzheimer's disease. The idea is to focus on a protein in the brain known as the tau protein. In people with dementia, this protein is known to build up. The researchers added the protein to a harmless virus and gave it to mice in the form of a nasal spray. Instead of accumulating, the tau proteins were identified as a threat by the mice's immune systems. This, it is hoped, will mean a treatment for people can soon be developed which will work in a similar way. RELATED: Cognitive impairment – 5 ways to reduce the risks as you age 8. Breakthrough means good news for US coral reefs According to CNN, for the first time the Florida Aquarium has been able to grow a coral outside of its natural environment. Specifically, the biologists there have reproduced a ridged cactus coral in a tank under human care. The reefs around Florida have faced major disease over recent years and it's hoped that growing corals in this way will help to save them for future generations, perhaps allowing for them to be released back into the wild. 9. Mindfulness helps to avoid sporting injuries There may not have been much sport going on in April but that hasn't stopped a team of researchers from Dundee in Scotland, Tehran in Iran and Springfield in the US from working on how mindfulness can be linked to fewer sports injuries. Their work focused on elite footballers aged between 16 and 19. It found that if mindfulness techniques are incorporated into the training schedule, the outcome is fewer injuries on the field. Amazingly, as many as 40 per cent fewer injuries were found in those who took part in mindfulness training compared with those who did not. Mindfulness can reduce sporting injuries shutterstock/Monkey Business Images 10. Antibodies become the focus in mental health research Conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder have been treated in a variety of ways over the years but research into them has rarely focused on things like antibodies in the same way that a viral infection might be. That said, researchers are now looking into the role certain antibodies play in mental health. Scientists from Queen Mary University of London and the University of Roehampton have recently published their findings into a protein called Immuno-moodulin which is known to be associated with Obsessive Complusive Disorder. They found that anxiety could be reduced if antibodies were present that could deal with the protein effectively, offering hope to sufferers of many different conditions. ● Main image: shutterstock/Sathianpong Phookit What's your favourite feel-good news story from the past month? We'd love to hear your what you think below. Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

There have been plenty of feel-good health and environmental stories in the press during August. Ed Gould rounds up his Top Ten from the past month to uplift and inspire. Not all of the news stories that hit the front pages were what you might call positive in August. However, there were plenty of news items that were undeniably rosy in their outlook. If you missed some of the good things that happened in the last month, then read on to discover some of the positivity from around the globe that you may have been yearning for. 1. IKEA moves into renewable energies IKEA may be one of the most recognisable Swedish brands around the world but it hasn't been associated with renewable energy – until now. The home furnishings retailer has entered the domestic renewable energy market, according to numerous international reports. The idea is to supply energy from renewable sources to Swedish consumers and then to break out into other European markets. IKEA already sell solar panels for home installation. 2. Cheap device developed to help breathing problems The world has seen a big rise in respiratory problems since the pandemic took hold but a new device being trialled in Uganda could improve the lives of many sufferers. It's hoped that this relatively cheap system will help people with a wide range of respiratory conditions more effectively and with a much lower cost than the main alternatives. As reported in the Engineer, the device is likely to be of most benefit in the developing world which has limited resources available for such treatments. 3. Mindfulness reduces COVID-related stress A report published in Medical Xpress suggested that people suffering from the mental health fallouts associated with the pandemic saw better outcomes if they practised mindfulness techniques. A group of volunteers was asked to take part in a daily ritual of mindfulness through an app that lasted as little as ten minutes. Those people who did the sessions every day reported a happier mood than those who did not in the control group. Crucially, those who were happier reported being less affected by COVID-related news. Staying mindful is proven to reduce COVID stress shutterstock/maxpetrov 4. Could we charge electric vehicles as we drive them? One of the drawbacks associated with electric cars is that they need longer to charge than refuelling at a pump. However, if they could be charged while driving, that could be a game changer. According to the automotive press, a German firm has developed a type of concrete that can be used for road surfaces which will charge electric vehicles as they pass over it. There's already a test bed in operation over a stretch of road which charges cars wirelessly via coils embedded in the road. It functions well over a distance of a quarter of a mile and could soon be upgraded. 5. Ecological steel being used commercially Making steel comes with an associated high energy cost. It's a material that's incredibly useful but steel makers have long sought more environmentally sound ways of producing it. In August the Swedish carmaker Volvo accepted its first batch of so-called green steel from a producer in the country. As reported in the Guardian, a company called Hybrit has managed to make steel of a commercial grade without burning any coal and it's hoped this will become the new way many steel makers produce it in the future. 6. Thailand takes steps to protect rare coral reefs The Kingdom of Thailand has placed an outright ban on the use of certain sunscreens in the entire country. This is because certain chemical agents in some of these products are known to damage corals. Given that corals are largely endangered globally, the move could set a precedent in that other countries will now follow. According to a report in Oceanographic, oxybenzone, butylparaben octinoxate and 4-methylbenzylidene camphor are the banned substances. People who are found to be applying a sunscreen with the forbidden chemical ingredients could now face a fine of over £2,000. The move follows a similar one in force in Hawaii. Protection of Thailand's coral reefs is being stepped up shutterstock/solarisys 7. Robot filters plastic particles from beaches efficiently A new robot has been developed that's said to be able to pick up tiny fragments of plastic from sandy beaches at a rate that's around 30 times more efficient than collection by hand. The so-called BeBot works down into the sand to collect plastic and other rubbish that's on the surface and beneath. Making use of on-board solar panels to power it, the robot is semi-autonomous and controlled by an operator who can be up to 300 metres way. According to Design Boom, plastic parts as small as 1cm wide can be sifted from beaches using the bot. 8. Exercise impact greater on depression A report in Science Daily highlighted a scientific study into physical activity and depression in August. According to the findings of the research, exercising does more to the brain than merely releasing endorphins that give the brain a sense of neural reward. The German researchers have found that physical activity increases the brain's ability to change itself. Although it's long been known that exercise reduces the severity of symptoms of chronic depression, it now seems that it can have a more deep-rooted and long-term effect, as well. Exercise is a great anti-depression tool Syda Productions 9. Illegal trawling halted by art in Italy In a model that could be repeated around the world, illegal trawling by fishermen has been stopped in an Italian bay because a conservationist there has placed sculptures beneath the waves. According to the Telegraph, the move has encouraged a raft of sea life to return to the Tuscan bay. This, along with the underwater artwork, has made the area more attractive to divers. However, it's also meant trawlers have stopped using the bay to fish in because their nets cannot slide easily over the statues. 10. Innovative cooling technology developed A professor in California has developed a type of radiator panel that's able to create a localised cooling effect. Simply by installing them nearby, it's possible to drop the temperature by around 12 degrees Celsius, a significant difference. What's more, unlike conventional air-conditioning systems, the technology requires no external power source. It works passively, a little like the large ears of animals that live in hot parts of the world that are used to radiate heat away naturally. According to a report in the National Geographic, this system could be a big player in the fight against climate change. • Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

While COVID-19 still dominated the mainstream press during August, there were plenty of other feel-good news stories that showed how positive the world can be, too. Ed Gould shares his Top Ten round-up from the past month to uplift and inspire you. You might not have thought it, but August was actually a great month for feel-good news. However, not every news item got the attention it truly deserved, so, if you missed some of these highlights from the last month, then you shouldn't be surprised! From a polio-free Africa to a breakthrough in lung cancer, read on to discover ten great feel-good news stories from August. 1. Africa declared polio-free In an age where the world has come to understand just how important public health initiatives and disease prevention programmes can be to everyone on the planet, it's heartening to know that polio has been finally eradicated from Africa. As the continent has some very remote settlements, it's been hard to rid this infectious disorder. Nevertheless, according to the Financial Times and other media outlets, polio has been all but removed from the whole of the continent. 2. Mindfulness benefits team leadership Practising mindfulness is proven to help combat stress and alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression. However, according to the Harvard Business Review, mindfulness can also make for better team leaders, too. In an article published on their website, the art of mindfulness was found to help people to live in the moment. In turn, this means leaders can embrace the personal as well as the professional experiences of team members. According to their research, mindful team leaders are better equipped to understand individuals, teams and wider structures in what is known as meta-awareness. RELATED: Mindful behaviour – 13 practical mindfulness tools 3. Northern white rhino thrown a lifeline On the face of it, there are few feel-good news stories about highly endangered species like the northern white rhino. Due to poaching and habitat destruction, there are now no male northern white rhinos left in the wild or captivity. For many, it seemed the end of the line for the species. However, Czech zoologists announced that they have ten viable eggs that they are looking to implant into surrogate mothers. Using in-vitro fertilisation methods, it's now hoped the once terminally endangered species can be saved for future generations. Northern white rhinos shutterstock/Colin Hancock 4. Wildfires may be detected sooner in the future There have been many wildfires in recent years that have caused a great deal of destruction, notably in Australia and California. However, according to Science magazine, a new self-powered detection system may raise the alert that much sooner, helping firefighters to put out smaller blazes before they get out of control. The problem with such devices has been putting them into the field without a sustainable power source. The new detectors make use of the energy derived from swaying branches and could, therefore, run for many years without any maintenance. 5. Yoga is good for your heart as well as your soul Although it's a great way to stay fit and focus your mind, yoga has not previously been found to improve heart health. However, Dr Naresh Sen of the HG SMS Hospital in Jaipur published a paper in August that found blood pressure was much better regulated in practitioners of yoga compared to a sample group. Furthermore, patients with atrial fibrillation problems were found to benefit, too. According to Dr Sen, simply practising yoga could improve heart health, thereby improving the chances of avoiding related incidents like heart attacks and stroke. Yoga could be good for the heart shutterstock/Monkey Business Images RELATED: Yoga for anxiety – discover the benefits 6. Algae turned into footwear to prevent pollution Flip-flops may be useful items to wear when paddling in the sea but they're prone to slipping off and being washed away. Every year, hundreds of thousands of flip-flops become part of the oceans' mountains of plastic waste. According to CNN, a team at the University of California San Diego decided to try and do something about this problem by coming up with a natural alternative that would biodegrade. They found that algae was a good substitute raw material for polyurethane and designed some comfy footwear based on it. Now the plastic substitute may find numerous other applications where a biodegradable alternative is called for. 7. Breakthrough in lung cancer detection announced In a report first highlighted by ITV News, a team from the University of Nottingham, which also had support from St Andrews University, has come up with a new blood test that could make great strides in lung cancer detection. The team reckon the detection of late-stage lung cancer could be improved by as much as a third compared to the current clinical rates. That would make a huge difference for treating patients earlier in what is one of the biggest killers of any disease in the Western world. 8. A museum devoted to happiness has opened in Denmark According to a report by CNN last month, The Happiness Museum has started to attract visitors for the first time. Located in Copenhagen, the museum is focussed on all aspects of what makes people happy and how they can go about making themselves feel happier. One visitor said his visit to the museum helped him to understand his own optimistic and happiness like never before, something that the team behind the project described as the best review they could have been given! Courtesy of The Happiness Musuem 9. Less water for future crops? By manipulating the proteins found in algae and putting them into plants that are grown as crops, scientists reckon they have come up with a way to bring about higher yields without using so much water. Fresh water usage is one of the biggest problems for the environment and farmers needs lots of it during dry spells. The technique has been tried on tobacco plants but it could be used on crops grown for food, too, according to a report in the Guardian. 10. Aussie beer turned into energy source While much of Australia was in lockdown, a great deal of beer that had already been produced was unavailable via pubs and restaurants. However, a wastewater treatment plant, which already makes use of sewage to generate biogas has been doing the same with what would otherwise have become undrinkable beer. The plant is said to have been handling 150,000 litres of beer every week recently, helping to create a sustainable form of gas. Let's raise our glasses to that! ● Main image: shutterstock/Shairaa happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy these benefits: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips and inspiration ■ share knowledge and help support others in our happiness forum ■ learn and self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Mindfulness | Hatha yoga | Nature | Positive News | Healthy habits Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Making connections with like-minded souls isn't easy, but it's not beyond your reach, whatever your age. From always saying 'yes' to volunteering, Dee Marques explores seven ways you can find your tribe and meet the group of friends that have always got your back. Back in 2019, the term loneliness epidemic was making headlines as researchers realised how a pervasive feeling of disconnection affected people of all ages. Since then, the fallout from the pandemic has deepened this feeling of isolation and disconnection for many people. Even if you keep to yourself and aren’t particularly sociable – as is my case – chances are you’ve been left with an unsettling feeling and with the need to find your tribe. But often, this is easier said than done. Why does finding your tribe seem so hard? Finding your tribe may be easier when we’re teenagers or young adults. But as we grow older, our life paths can diverge, friendships fade, and there comes a point where you realise you may no longer have a lot in common with those you used to call your tribe. The overuse of technology these days could also make it harder to find your tribe. On one hand, it may seem that connecting with others is easier, since the internet eliminates geographical barriers. One aim of social media is to bring together like-minded people, so in theory such platforms could be a good place to go and find your tribe. But in practice, studies point to the link between social media use and social anxiety, loneliness and isolation. Indeed, social media and the internet has to be used in the right way when it comes to finding your tribe. It's never too late to find your tribe Having said that, finding your tribe is definitely possible, even if it takes planning and breaking down some common misconceptions. Let's have a deeper look at how to find your tribe and feel connected to others. How to find your tribe: getting started Before you can try to find your tribe, you should know what exactly qualifies as “a tribe”. In anthropology, the term “tribe” is used to define a small group of people who are bound together by strong ties, like speaking a common language, living in the same territory, or sharing political or religious beliefs. Interestingly, note that there’s no mention of hobbies in this technical description, which suggests that real tribes are held together better by deeply held ideals or motivations. Indeed, the glue that keeps tribe members close to each other is made up of more meaningful things, like values or purpose in life. • JOIN US! Sign up today and make new friends at happiness.com • What this means is that the first step towards finding your tribe involves having a clear idea of the things you deeply cherish. In other words, we need to know ourselves before we can find our tribe. This will require some self-work, perhaps even doing some shadow work before connecting with others. Find yourself to find your tribe First of all, it’s important to challenge any assumptions we may have about ourselves and our ability to relate to others. For example, if you think people find you boring, your lack of confidence will show and you’ll most likely appear as a boring person – even if you’re not. So, how comfortable are you being yourself is an important question to ask, before you even ask how you can find your tribe. The second question to ask is: what exactly are you about? What’s your message to the world? We rarely ask these questions because they’re hard to answer and involve a lot of soul searching, but if you’re not 100 per cent sure about what you stand for, it will be difficult to find a tribe that resonates with you. “The first step towards finding your tribe involves having a clear idea of the things you deeply cherish. In other words, we need to know ourselves before we can find our tribe.” Next, you should set aside some time to think about the patterns you follow when you meet a new group of people. Do you try to adapt and fit to the majority, or do you try to impose your views? Both choices can interfere with the creation of genuine connections with others. And lastly, make sure you can give a concise answer to the question “What are you looking for in your tribe?” We often taken for granted that being part of a tribe is all about support and companionship, but these concepts don’t mean the same to everyone. Maybe you’re looking for a tribe that can support you through while you're dealing with a break-up or the loss of a loved one. Or maybe you want to find a group that helps you reach your professional or fitness goals? Seven steps to finding your tribe We’re all slightly different in how we approach and connect with others. So to make sure you have a range of options, here a list of things you can do to make new friends as an adult and find your tribe. 1. Join groups Earlier on I touched upon the isolating effect that social media can have. But that’s not to say that we shouldn’t spend any time online. Social networks and other websites can still be used to make the first connection with groups that could potentially become your tribe: we just need to stop the endless doom scrolling; instead focusing on the ways to better connect with others. So, make a list of groups that resonate with you, research them online, and join them offline too. But don’t just lurk in the shadows – make a conscious effort to introduce yourself, explain why you joined, what you’re looking for, and what type of support you offer too. Try new groups, such as hiking, to meet like-minded souls shutterstock/DisobeyArt 2. Say yes to everything! At first, you may be a bit wary of accepting invitations to meet group members, but you’ll never find your tribe if you hide behind a screen or say no by default. Even if someone suggests an activity that wouldn’t be your first choice, be open to all possibilities and don’t rule anything out. You may be positively surprised with the results. 3. Consider volunteering Psychologists know that acts of kindness usually benefit both giver and receiver. So, if you need deep connections and support, instead of searching for it for yourself, consider offering those things to others who may need them too. RELATED: Understanding the power of friendship Look around and you’ll see there’s no shortage of volunteering opportunities. To find a meaningful area, do some journaling to explore situations that were hard to cope with but you eventually overcame. Have you been abused, bullied, suffered from depression or anxiety? If so, you can use this to help others and find your tribe. These are powerful life experiences you already share, so you’re more likely to be on the same wavelength. 4. Sign up for a new class Exercise, poetry, meditation, creative writing, photography: anything that you’ve been wanting to do for a while could be used to meet like-minded people. There’s always a ring of excitement about learning new things, and this positive mood will probably be shared by others in your class. This type of environment is very conducive to developing new friendships and can be the starting point to finding your tribe. 5. Explore online communities Some special interest websites have realised the importance of community. For example, here at happiness.com we cover various aspects of wellness and self-improvement, but we’re pivoting our site to be more than just a place to find interesting blog posts. Instead, we want to the site to become a central point of connection where you’ll be able to but to find like-spirited people who share your ideals, way of life and priorities. “Sign up to a new class. This type of environment is very conducive to developing new friendships and can be the starting point to finding your tribe.” And, of course, our very own website, happiness.com, is an excellent place to connect with others on a similar wavelength and perhaps find a deeper sense of community. You can create a profile and find new friends based around your interests. Perhaps you're interested in tarot reading, feng shui, philosophy or non-duality, and have struggled to find people that share your passions? Just add your interests to your profile and you can reach out to other members that are into the same thing to start a conversation. What's more, our happiness forums are an intelligent and curious way to share ideas and engage in discussions with people you may want to connect with on a more profound level. You can discover threads on all areas of well-being and modern life, such as conscious living, mental health, sexuality, etc. 6. Avoid being judgmental When we spending a lot of time alone, we tend to get settled into our own ways and it can be harder to accept whatever doesn’t fit into our perceived standards. One of the keys to finding your tribe is trying to stay open-minded and not jumping to conclusions about the people you meet. Indeed, as humans we label people based on stale pre-conceptions and rule them out as “too different” from us. But in reality, we never know the real person until we spend time and share experiences with them. So, don’t be judgmental and give them a chance – it’s only fair. 7. Be realistic A common misconception is that when you find your tribe, you’ll magically and instantly feel a strong connection to them and know that it was meant to be! However, even if there’s a strong affinity, we must remember that relationships are like plants: they need to be cultivated over a period of time to enjoy the beautiful fruits they produce. Along the way, there may be misunderstandings or less-than-perfect experiences. • SIGN UP! Join the caring happiness.com community and make new friends • Connections don’t have to be perfect, but offer meaningful companionship and support. Bear that in mind when reviewing your expectations. How to find your tribe and feel true belonging Don’t feel discouraged if you’ve struggled to connect with like-minded people for a while and don’t know how to find your tribe. If you do some soul searching and are realistic, open-minded and proactive, you can be sure that the doors to genuine connections will open, allowing to feel a true sense of belonging in the world. • Main image: shutterstock/Sabrina Bracher happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online Academy classes Deep listening | Trust | Loneliness | Empathy Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Interviewerin Veronika Eicher hatte noch einen leisen Geschmack von Rosinen im Mund - vom Abschluss der "Rosinenmeditation" in Dave Potters MBSR-Kurs - als sich die beiden zum Reden hinsetzten. Sie fragte ihn nach seinem Hintergrund in der auf Achtsamkeit basierenden Stressreduktion, der Motivation hinter seinem freien Kurs, dem Umgang mit chronischen Schmerzen und über Meditation. Wann haben Sie das letzte Mal achtsam gegessen? Dave Potter, zertifizierter MBSR-Lehrer, also Lehrer für Achtsamkeitsbasierte Stressreduktion (in Englisch Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) und pensionierter Psychotherapeut, lacht, bevor er antwortet: "Nun, es ist alles eine Frage des Grades. Obwohl ich ein Achtsamkeitslehrer bin, gibt es Zeiten, in denen ich nicht sehr achtsam esse. Zum Beispiel unterhielten sich meine Frau und ich gestern Abend ununterbrochen während des Abendessens, und ich war mir überhaupt nicht bewusst, was ich aß. In einem früheren Leben als Marketing Manager bei Intel waren viele unserer Meetings über Mahlzeiten und es wurde von uns erwartet, dass wir gleichzeitig Geschäfte machen und essen. Früher habe ich den Leuten gesagt, dass ich auf der Karriereleiter von Intel nicht höher gekommen bin, weil ich nie gelernt habe, gleichzeitig zu essen und zu sprechen. " Obwohl Dave nicht lange bei Intel blieb, war er über 20 Jahre in der Computerbranche tätig. Zunächst als freiberuflicher Computerberater und später als Gründer eines Softwareunternehmens, das auf ein Dutzend Mitarbeiter und Kunden auf der ganzen Welt angewachsen ist. Im Alter von 51 Jahren stellte er fest, dass er sich viel mehr für Menschen als für Computer interessierte, obwohl er Technologie liebte. Er ging zurück zur Schule, um einen Abschluss in Beratung zu machen, und wurde Psychotherapeut. Zu diesem Zeitpunkt begann er, Achtsamkeit zu lehren, was mich zu meiner nächsten Frage führte: Wie haben Sie MBSR kennengelernt? „Ich kam mit MBSR ungefähr zu der Zeit in Kontakt, als ich anfing, als Therapeut zu arbeiten. Meditation war für mich aber nicht neu, da ich seit meiner Schulzeit meditiert hatte. Obwohl ich bereits ein Langzeitmeditierender war und nicht glaubte, dass ich viel lernen musste, war ich nach einem Schulungskurs von Jon Kabat-Zinn beeindruckt von MBSR und wie lehrreich es war. MBSR ist, wie Jon Kabat-Zinn es lehrte, weder esoterisch noch religiös. Stattdessen war die Sprache, die Jon benutzte, so einfach, dass Dave erst in der Teilnahme des MBSR-Kurses von Jon Kabat-Zinn die enorme Tiefe von MBSR und diese besondere Art des Meditationsunterrichts verstand. „Die Sprache ist sehr einfach:‚ Achte auf deine Erfahrungen, während du sie hast ': Aber der MBSR-Kurs war so tiefgreifend und bedeutungsvoll, dass ich ihn mit anderen teilen wollte! Ich ließ mich von der Universität Massachusetts Medical School, an der Jon Kabat-Zinn MBSR gegründet hatte, zum Lehrer ausbilden “, erklärte Dave. VERWANDTE THEMen: Achtsam essen: Du bist, was du isst Arten von Coaching Achtsam essen kannst du als eine von vielen Möglichkeiten wahrnehmen, in der täglichen Routine Achtsamkeit zu üben Viele Menschen nehmen an dem Kurs teil, um den Stress in ihrem Leben zu reduzieren. Wenn Sie neuen Schülern sagen, dass sie täglich 30 Minuten für Meditation aufwenden müssen, sagen die oft: „Woher soll ich die Zeit nehmen? Das macht mich mehr gestresst, nicht weniger! “ Ist das nicht ironisch? "Am Anfang haben viele Menschen das Gefühl, dass es stressiger ist, das stimmt. Dies liegt daran, dass sie jetzt genauer darauf achten, was in ihnen geschieht, und sie haben begonnen, Dinge zu bemerken, die die ganze Zeit dort waren, aber unter der Oberfläche. Aber normalerweise beruhigen sich die Dinge nach etwa drei oder vier Wochen. Was die meisten Menschen zu diesem Zeitpunkt feststellen, ist, dass ihr Tag zwar technisch 30 Minuten kürzer ist, der Rest des Tages jedoch produktiver und viel weniger stressig als zuvor. Die Leute sehen also die Früchte der Praxis, aber oft erst drei oder vier Wochen nach Kursbeginn. Das ist einer der Gründe, warum der Kurs acht Wochen dauert und nicht drei. “ Erfahre mehr über Dave Potters kostenlosen MBSR-Kurs Was können die Kursteilnehmer erwarten? „Zuerst fühlt es sich an, als ob nichts passiert. Die Teilnehmer sitzen in der Meditation, ihr Geist wandert, sie holen ihn zurück, ihr Geist wandert wieder, sie holen ihn wieder zurück und das wiederholt und wiederholt sich in einem scheinbar endlosen Zyklus. Es sieht so aus, als ob nichts Produktives passiert. Aber in diesem Prozess steckt Magie, die während des Geschehens überhaupt nicht sichtbar ist. Der Sinn der Meditation besteht nicht darin, Gedanken zu stoppen, sondern ihre Beziehung zu ihnen zu ändern, und der kritische Ort, an dem sich diese Beziehung ändern kann, ist, wenn sie bemerken, dass ihre Gedanken gewandert sind. Am Anfang sagen die Leute normalerweise: "Ich bin nicht gut darin, meine Gedanken wandern die ganze Zeit, ich kann das nicht." Sie sind frustriert, dass sie sich nicht dazu bringen können, an einem Ort zu bleiben und sich selbst verurteilen. Aber es geht nicht darum, den Geist an einem Ort zu halten: Es geht darum, was in dem Moment passiert, in dem sie entdecken, dass ihr Geist gewandert ist. Es geht darum, diese Tatsache zu akzeptieren und in diesem Moment freundlich zu sich selbst zu sein. " VERWANDTES THEMA: 9 wissenschaftlich belegte Vorteile von Meditation Jack Kornfield erzählt oft eine Geschichte über das Trainieren eines Welpen zum Apportieren. Am Anfang wirfst du den Stock und der Welpe bringt ihn nicht zurück. Aber du gibst nicht auf und wirfst den Stock viele, viele Male, bis der Welpe den Stock schließlich fast unerwartet zu dir zurückbringt. An diesem Punkt sagst du nicht: "Böser Hund !! Warum hast du den Stock vorher nicht zurückgebracht?!? " Du sagst: „GUTER JUNGE !!! GUT GEMACHT!" und gibst dem Welpen eine Belohnung. Das ermutigt den Welpen, es erneut zu tun und stärkt deine gute Beziehung zu deinem Welpen. "Bei uns ist es genauso. Wir trainieren unsere Schüler, um zu erkennen, dass diese Momente, in denen sie bemerken, dass ihre Gedanken gewandert sind, Momente des Erwachens sind. Diese Momente des Erwachens sind Grund zum Feiern, keine Selbstkritik. Jedes Mal, wenn du bemerkst, dass deine Gedanken gewandert sind, hast du gerade eine lebenslange Gewohnheit gebrochen. Darauf zielen wir in unserer Meditation ab. “ Trainiere deinen meditativen Geist wie einen Welpen: Mit Geduld und Leckerli Ich muss zugeben, ich dachte, wenn man lange genug meditiert - vielleicht wie Sie als lebenslanger Meditierender -, wandern die Gedanken irgendwann nicht mehr. Ist das falsch? "Es ist nicht wahr, dass fortgeschrittene Meditierende gelernt haben, ihre Gedanken vollständig zu stoppen. Das Beseitigen von Gedanken ist auch nicht das Ziel dieser Art von Meditation. Denken ist keine Funktion, die wir beseitigen wollen. Wir müssen nachdenken, planen, organisieren, bauen, etwas schaffen. Gedanken sind wichtig, aber sie sind nicht der wichtigste Aspekt unserer Erfahrung, und tatsächlich sind die Gedanken, die wir haben, oft falsch oder irreführend. Tara Brach sagt oft: "Gedanken sind real, aber nicht wahr." VERWANDTES THEMA: Tara Brach - Psychologin, Meditationsautorin und Lehrerin Es ist wahr, dass es Arten von Meditationen gibt, die darauf ausgelegt sind, die Konzentration zu perfektionieren. Aber diese Art der Meditation, wenn sie mit dem Ziel kombiniert wird, Zustände der Glückseligkeit zu erreichen, entspricht nicht der Realität des täglichen Lebens. Es gibt eine Geschichte über einen Mönch, der in eine Berghöhle geht, um isoliert zu meditieren. Nach Jahren des Übens perfektioniert er seine Konzentration bis zu dem Punkt, an dem er sich in fast ununterbrochener Glückseligkeit befindet. Er entscheidet, dass er bereit ist, vom Berg herunterzukommen. Fünf Minuten nach seiner Ankunft in der Stadt macht einer der Verkäufer auf dem Markt einen beleidigenden Kommentar und er explodiert vor Wut und scheint seine jahrelange Praxis in wenigen Augenblicken rückgängig zu machen. “Die Menschen sehen die Früchte ihres Trainings, aber oft erst drei oder vier Wochen nach Kursbeginn. Das ist einer der Gründe, warum der Kurs acht Wochen dauert und nicht drei." Die Art der Meditation, die in MBSR gelehrt wird, umfasst sowohl konzentrative Meditation als auch eine offenere Meditation, Auf die kann mitten im täglichen Leben zugegriffen werden, in der der Meditierende im Moment genau weiß, was um ihn herum und in ihm geschieht. " Dein Achtsamkeitslehrer: Dave Potter Dave Potter und ich sprechen mehr über die Kraft des Geistes. Er teilt das Beispiel eines buddhistischen Mönchs, Matthieu Ricard, der über 30 Jahre 50.000 Stunden Meditationspraxis hatte (das sind fünf Stunden am Tag - jeden Tag!) und von Psychologen und Neurowissenschaftlern ausgiebig untersucht wurde. Paul Ekman, ein Psychologe der Universität von Kalifornien, vermutete, dass Ricard eine sehr geringe „Schreckreaktion“ haben würde, die vergleichbar mit Angst ist. Je ängstlicher eine Person ist, desto stärker ist die physiologische Reaktion auf Erschrecken. In diesem Labortest wird das Subjekt an die Instrumentierung angeschlossen und die physiologische Reaktion auf ein sehr lautes Geräusch, ähnlich einem Schuss, gemessen. Als Ekman Ricard testete, musste er es ein zweites Mal tun, weil er nicht glauben konnte, was seine Instrumente ihm über Ricards Reaktion sagten. Ricards physiologische Reaktion war geringer als bei jedem Probanden, den er jemals getestet hatte. Tatsächlich war sie niedriger, als die Medizin bis zu diesem Zeitpunkt für möglich gehalten hatte. Als er Ricard fragte, wie er das gemacht hate (in der Erwartung, er würde sagen, er würde seine Aufmerksamkeit auf einen einzigen Punkt lenken und alles andere blockieren), sagte Ricard, er habe das Gegenteil getan - er sagte, anstatt seine Aufmerksamkeit einzuschränken, habe er sie erweitert und sich vorgestellt so groß wie das Universum zu sein, so groß, dass Geräusche oder Störungen leicht zu absorbieren sind. Er sagte, er habe das Geräusch sehr deutlich gehört, aber es sei für ihn nicht störend, da er seine Perspektive erweitert habe, um absolut alles aufzunehmen und zu akzeptieren, was ins Bewusstsein geriet. Könnte diese Technik auch eine Möglichkeit sein, mit der MBSR-Teilnehmer lernen, mit unangenehmen Gefühlen oder chronischen Schmerzen umzugehen? Indem sie sich den größten Schmerz und die schlimmste Erfahrung als weniger schmerzhaft in der Praxis vorstellen? Der Kurs beseitigt keine Schmerzen. Menschen mit chronischen Schmerzen haben normalerweise alles versucht. Sie haben nichts gefunden, was Ärzte verschreiben ihnen gegen die Schmerzen verschreiben können. Im MBSR-Kurs arbeiten wir nicht daran, die Schmerzen zu beseitigen, sondern unsere Beziehung dazu zu ändern. Wir bringen unseren Schülern bei, auf paradoxe Weise mit schwierigen Emotionen und körperlichen Schmerzen zu arbeiten, was wir in Woche 5 in einer Praxis namens „Turning Towards“ vorstellen. Die Schüler lernen durch diese Praxis und bauen auf den Fähigkeiten auf, die sie in den ersten vier Wochen gelernt haben. Am Ende können sie mit schwierigen Gefühlen oder Empfindungen umgehen, ohne alarmiert zu sein. VERBINDUNG: Chronische Schmerzen - ein Erfahrungsbericht Bei chronischen Schmerzen bitten wir die Schüler, neugierig auf sie zu werden. Anstatt zu versuchen, sie verschwinden zu lassen - was natürlich nicht funktioniert. Ohne das Unbehagen als „Schmerz“ zu bezeichnen, lassen wir sie die tatsächlichen körperlichen Empfindungen untersuchen. Ist es zum Beispiel scharf oder pochend, groß oder klein, genau wo befindet es sich, wo liegen seine Grenzen? Wenn sie es auf neugierige, nicht ängstliche Weise genau untersuchen, entdecken sie, dass ihr „Schmerz“ keine statische Sache ist, dass sich ihre Erfahrung davon verschiebt, wenn sie auf diese Weise neugierig darauf sind. “Mit Achtsamkeits-basierter Stressreduzierung (MBSR) beseitigen wir keine Schmerzen, aber wir verändern die Beziehung zu ihnen.” Nachdem wir den schwierigen Bereich erkundet haben, bitten wir sie, ihre Aufmerksamkeit auf einen Teil des Körpers zu lenken, der relativ entspannt ist. Dort sollen sie einen Moment bleiben, um zu bemerken, welche Art von Empfindungen sie dort haben. Vielleicht ist es Wärme oder Weichheit oder einfach frei von Schmerzen. Dies wirkt vielleicht, als würden wir sie bitten, sich abzulenken, aber wir lassen sie einfach die Aufmerksamkeit auf einen anderen Teil ihres Körpers lenken, der tatsächlich mit dem schwierigen Bereich verbunden ist. Nachdem sie einige Minuten dort verbracht haben, gehen sie zurück in die schwierige Gegend. Sie wechseln hin und her. Wenn die SChüler dies einige Male tun, empfinden sie das Unbehagen als nur einen Teil von sich. Sie stellen fest, dass es nicht unveränderlich ist. Auf diese Weise lernt der Schüler, den schwierigen Bereich in einem größeren Kontext zu sehen und zu erleben. Ähnlich wie es Matthieu Ricard mit dem lauten Klang im „Startle“ -Test getan hat. In diesem Sinne ist es eine Erweiterung des Bewusstseins und der Perspektive, die den Schmerz weniger schwierig macht. Der wahrscheinlich begabteste und kompetenteste Meditationslehrer für den Umgang mit chronischen Schmerzen ist Vidmayala Burch. Sie ist Gründerin von Breathworks in Großbritannien. Sie versteht chronische Schmerzen, weil sie sich mit ihren eigenen schweren, schwächenden Schmerzen befasst hat, die sie ihr ganzes Erwachsenenleben lang bis jetzt begleiten. Sie ist eine begabte Lehrerin und Vorbild für Menschen, die mit chronischen Schmerzen zu tun haben. Vidyamala verwendet oft Kissen, um zu demonstrieren, wie wir physischen (oder emotionalen) Schmerz mit Angst und Sorge verbinden. Ein Schüler sitzt mit einem Kissen auf dem Schoß in der Mitte des Raumes und gibt dem Kissen die Bedeutung von physischem Schmerz und den schwierigen Empfindungen (oder problematisches Lebensereignis). Dann wird auf dieses Kissen ein weiteres hinzugefügt, das eine Angst oder Sorge darstellt, die der Schüler bezüglich des Schmerzes hat. Zum Beispiel die Angst, dass der Schmerz schlimmer wird. Dann fügen die Schüler weitere Kissen hinzu, vielleicht wegen der Sorge, um die Arbeit, um sich zu ernähren, oder eine weitere und eine andere Befürchtung. Am Ende sind die Kissen oft so hoch gestapelt sind, dass sie sind höher als der Kopf des Schülers. In der Übung bat Vidmayala sie, die Kissen der Sorge und Angst nacheinander zu entfernen und jedes loszulassen. Alles, was in ihrem Schoß bleibt, ist das erste Kissen, das die tatsächlichen körperlichen Empfindungen darstellt. Dieses Kissen ist immer noch da, aber viel weniger problematisch als unter all den anderen Kissen der Angst und Sorge, die zu den tatsächlichen körperlichen Schmerzen (oder problematischen Lebensereignissen) hinzugefügt wurden. Kissenübung gegen den Schmerz: MBSR wurde ursprünglich für Schmerzpatienten konzipiert Die „Kissenübung“ mit Vidyamala Burch war für mich als chronische Schmerzpatientin unglaublich aufschlussreich. Ist es das, worum es bei Achtsamkeit geht? Genau. Achtsam zu sein bedeutet, zu erkennen, was tatsächlich passiert, und zu bemerken, dass wir die Situation mit unseren Ängsten und Sorgen verschärfen. In buddhistischen Begriffen würde man sagen, dass es den ersten Pfeil gibt, der die Schwierigkeit selbst darstellt, und der zweite Pfeil ist all die Sorgen und Ängste, die wir darüber haben. Wir können nicht immer etwas gegen den ersten Pfeil unternehmen. Aber der zweite Pfeil, der die Schwierigkeit vergrößert, kann entfernt werden. Sie waren einer der ersten Lehrer, die uns Ihren MBSR-Kurs in unserer happiness Akademie kostenlos zur Verfügung gestellt haben, und Sie haben den Kurs auch kostenlos auf Ihrer Website palousemindfulness.com angeboten. Was war Ihre Motivation dafür? „Darauf gibt es ein paar Antworten. Die erste ist: "Warum nicht?". Die Tatsache, dass ich das sogar sagen kann, liegt daran, dass ich im Ruhestand bin und kein zusätzliches Einkommen benötige, und an der Effizienz und Reichweite des Internets. Vor allem aber wusste ich, dass es Menschen gibt, die es sich nicht leisten können, für einen Achtsamkeitskurs zu bezahlen. In vielen Teilen der Welt gibt es auch keinen Zugang zu einer persönlichen MBSR-Klasse. Meine Absicht war es, Achtsamkeit so weit wie möglich verfügbar zu machen, unabhängig von der finanziellen Situation oder dem geografischen Standort. Ich habe das Glück, dass dies auch die Absicht der meisten anderen Achtsamkeitslehrer ist, selbst derer, die bekannt sind und hohe Gebühren für ihren Unterricht verlangen können. Weltbekannte Achtsamkeitslehrer wie Jon Kabat-Zinn, Vidyamala Burch und Tara Brach haben mir ihre schriftliche Erlaubnis erteilt, ihre Videos und Schriften kostenlos zu verwenden, damit Achtsamkeit breiter verfügbar ist. “Der Kurs macht das Leben nicht perfekt. Es geht darum, in Frieden zu sein, auch ohne sich friedlich zu fühlen." Als ehemaliger Psychotherapeut freut es mich zu wissen, dass durch den Palousemindfulness-Kurs Menschen geholfen wird. Jeden Tag bekomme ich Briefe von Leuten, die sagen, der Kurs habe ihr Leben verändert. Was könnte besser sein für einen pensionierter Therapeut, dessen Arbeit darin bestand, Menschen zu helfen? VERBINDUNG: Gemeinsam neue Gewohnheiten praktizieren: Fünf Übungen für mehr Achtsamkeit im Alltag Der Kurs macht das Leben nicht perfekt. Es geht nicht darum, die ganze Zeit friedlich zu sein. Nicht einmal der Dalai Lama ist die ganze Zeit friedlich. Es geht darum, in Frieden zu sein, auch ohne sich friedlich zu fühlen. Wenn ich von meinen Schülern höre, dass sie dies gelernt haben und dass sie glücklicher und belastbarer sind als zuvor, ist das für mich mehr wert als jede finanzielle Entschädigung. " Meditieren Sie noch täglich? "Ja, das tue ich. Ich hatte einige Perioden in meinem Leben, in denen ich keine formelle Meditiationspraxis aufrecht erhielt. Ich dachte, wenn ich mein Leben nur achtsam lebte und das Leben selbst meine Meditation sein ließe, würde das ausreichen. Während dies im Prinzip zutreffen könnte, weil jede Erfahrung zu einer achtsamen Erfahrung gemacht werden kann, war in diesen Perioden ohne formale Meditiationspraxis ein Großteil meines Lebens nicht sehr achtsam. Vor ungefähr 30 Jahren, nachdem ich immer wieder meditiert hatte, verpflichtete ich mich zu einer regelmäßigen täglichen Meditationspraxis von einer halben Stunde jeden Morgen und habe seitdem nicht aufgehört. Bis auf eine Handvoll Tage während dieser 30 -Jahres. Ich meditiere nicht, um Friedenserfahrung zu machen, während ich meditiere, obwohl das angenehm sein kann. Ich mache es, weil es den Rest meines Tages beeinflusst. Meine Morgenmeditation schafft eine Belastbarkeit und Lebendigkeit für den Rest des Tages, die ohne diese Praxis nicht da wäre. Meine morgendliche Übung ist eigentlich ziemlich einfach, ähnlich wie in Soto Zen "Zazen" oder "nur Sitzen" genannt wird, eine Zeit, in der ich nirgendwo anders sein oder etwas anderes tun muss. Eine Zeit, die nur für mich ist. Vor Jahren, als meine Tochter jung war, nahmen wir an einem Elternkurs von Barbara Coloroso teil und am Ende des Kurses sagte sie: „Ich möchte, dass Sie 30 Minuten am Tag mit der Person verbringen, mit der Sie für den Rest zusammen sein werden von deinem Leben mit ... und ich meine nicht den Ehepartner, der vor Ihnen gehen können. Ich meine SIE." ● Danke Dave, für das Gespräch und für deine Arbeit. Melde dich hier für den kostenlosen MBSR-Kurs in der happiness Akademie an. Und vergiss nicht, an der MBSR-Kursdiskussion im Forum teilzunehmen: Teile deine Erfahrungen und Ideen mit anderen Mitgliedern. Das vollständige Interview mit Dave Potter findest du hier: Interview von Veronika Eicher Veronika ist freiberufliche Texterin. In ihrer Freizeit werkelt sie im Garten. Auf Instagram teilt sie ihre Gedanken über die Klimakrise, Natur und nachhaltiges Leben.

Kannst du dir vorstellen, Freiwilligenarbeit zu leisten? Es ist eine tolle Möglichkeit Einzelpersonen und Gemeinschaften in Not zu helfen. Und wie Calvin Holbrook schreibt, sind die Vorteile eines solchen Altruismus wissenschaftlich bewiesen. Der Artikel erschien im Original im englischen happiness Magazin. Für die meisten von uns, die ein sehr geschäftiges Leben führen, scheint die Idee der Freiwilligentätigkeit, bei der man seine Zeit und Energie für eine Sache ohne finanzielle Belohnung bereitstellt, eine unmögliche Aufgabe. Ich meine, wie soll es möglich sein, noch mehr in unsere ohnehin schon vollgepackten Terminkalender einzubauen? Freiwilligenarbeit ist jedoch aus vielen Gründen wichtig und muss nicht viel Zeit in Anspruch nehmen. Tatsächlich bringt die Freiwilligentätigkeit nicht nur für denjenigen, die Unterstützung erhalten, viele Vorteile mit sich. Die Freiwilligen selbst haben ebenfalls enorme Vorteile von ihrem Engagement. Diese Vorteile erklären zum Teil die gestiegene Beliebtheit der Freiwilligenarbeit in den letzten Jahren. Von 2012 bis 2013 gaben 29 Prozent der Erwachsenen in England an, sich mindestens einmal im Monat freiwillig engagiert zu haben. Die Zahl in den Vereinigten Staaten ist mit rund 25 Prozent nicht weit davon entfernt (mit etwas mehr freiwilligen Frauen als Männern). Es ist vielversprechend, dass immer mehr dieser Menschen junge Erwachsene sind. In Großbritannien meldeten sich im Jahr 2015 2,9 Millionen Menschen im Alter von 16 bis 25 Jahren für freiwillige Arbeit. Verglichen mit 1,8 Millionen im Jahr 2010 entspricht dies einer Steigerung von 50 Prozent. Verwandtes Thema: Glück kann man nicht kaufen Woher aber kommt das Interesse an Freiwilligenarbeit? Der griechische Philosoph Aristoteles sagte einmal, die Essenz des Lebens bestehe darin, „anderen zu dienen und Gutes zu tun“. Es scheint, dass immer mehr von uns aufwachen und sehen, warum Freiwilligenarbeit so wichtig ist und wie die Hilfe für andere nicht nur diesen Personen und Gemeinschaften nützt, sondern auch uns selbst. Warum ist Freiwilligenarbeit wichtig? Freiwilligenarbeit ist deshalb so wichtig, da sie essenzielle Hilfe für wohltätige Zwecke, für Menschen in Not und für die Allgemeinheit bietet. Tatsächlich müssen sich viele Organisationen und Wohltätigkeitsorganisationen auf die Großzügigkeit von Freiwilligen verlassen, da sie häufig nur zum Teil von der Regierung oder von lokalen Behörden mitfinanziert werden und sie es sich daher nicht leisten können, Gehälter für alle ihre Mitarbeiter zu zahlen. Viele Unternehmen sind fast ausschließlich auf Teams aus freiwilligen Helfern angewiesen, um erfolgreich zu sein und die notwendige Arbeit zu erledigen. Was also sind die Vorteile von Freiwilligenarbeit? Natürlich liegen die Vorteile der Freiwilligentätigkeit für diejenigen, die Hilfe erhalten, auf der Hand. Unabhängig davon, ob du Kindern in einem Land der Dritten Welt kostenlosen Englischunterricht ermöglichst oder an deinem örtlichen Strand Müll einsammelst; die Vorteile für den Empfänger und die breitere Gemeinschaft sind in der Regel einer der Gründe, warum man sich für eine freiwillige Tätigkeit entscheiden. Aber hast du schon einmal darüber nachgedacht, wie wichtig Freiwilligenarbeit für denjenigen ist, der sie tut? Tatsächlich ist Freiwilligenarbeit für den Handelnden aus einer ganzen Reihe von Gründen von Vorteil: Stressreduzierung, Bekämpfung von Depressionen und Hilfe bei der Suche nach Sinnhaftigkeit. „Freiwilligenarbeit ist deshalb so wichtig, da sie essenzielle Hilfe für wohltätige Zwecke, für Menschen in Not und für die Allgemeinheit bietet.“ Und obwohl Studien zeigen, dass mehr freiwilliges Engagement zu mehr Vorteilen führt, bedeutet das nicht, dass Freiwilligentätigkeiten eine langfristige Verpflichtung erfordern. Selbst wenn du dich auf eine einfache Weise durch Spenden engagierst, kannst du dadurch den Bedürftigen helfen und dein eigenes Wohlbefinden und Glück verbessern. Wir sollten also einmal einen genaueren Blick darauf werfen, was genau freiwillige Arbeit für einen Nutzen mit sich bringt. Hier sind die sieben wesentlichen Vorteile dieser altruistischen Handlung: 1. Freiwilligenarbeit verbindet dich mit anderen Wenn du dich einsam oder isoliert fühlst, oder auch einfach nur deinen Bekanntenkreis erweitern willst, kann freiwilliges Engagement in deiner Gemeinde eine tolle Möglichkeit sein, neue Leute kennen zu lernen. Tatsächlich ist einer der besten Wege, um neue Freunde zu finden oder bestehende Beziehungen zu stärken, zusammen einer gemeinsamen Aktivität nachzugehen. Bei Freiwilligentätigkeiten tust du genau das. Freiwilligenarbeit ist ein gutes Werkzeug, sich mit seinen Mitmenschen zu verbinden. © Professional/Shutterstock Wenn du kürzlich in eine neue Stadt oder ein neues Land gezogen bist, ist Freiwilligenarbeit eine einfache Möglichkeit, neue Leute kennenzulernen. Außerdem stärkt ein solches Engagement deine Bindung an die lokale Gemeinschaft und erweitert dein Unterstützungsnetzwerk. Darüber hinaus verbindet es dich mit Menschen, die gemeinsame Interessen und Leidenschaften haben und gute Freunde werden könnten. Freiwilligenarbeit ist außerdem auch eine spannende Möglichkeit, Menschen zu treffen, mit denen du normalerweise nicht in Kontakt kommen würdest: Menschen aus verschiedenen Altersgruppen, ethnischen Gruppen oder sozialen Gruppen. Da die Freiwilligenarbeit für alle offen ist, kannst du auf diese Weise eine Vielzahl von Menschen aus allen möglichen Lebensbereichen kennenlernen, was dir nur noch weiter die Augen öffnen kann! 2. Freiwilligenarbeit schafft Selbstvertrauen und Selbstwertgefühl Gutes für andere und die Gemeinschaft zu tun, schafft mitunter ein natürliches Erfolgserlebnis. Die Arbeit als Freiwilliger kann dich stolz machen und dir ein Identitätsgefühl vermitteln. Sie kann auch dazu beitragen, dein Selbstvertrauen zu stärken, indem du aus deiner natürlichen Komfortzone und Umgebung trittst. Grundsätzlich hilft dir Freiwilligenarbeit dabei, dich besser und wohler mit dir selbst zu fühlen. Dieses Gefühl kannst du mit in deinen „normalen“ Alltag nehmen und eine hoffentlich positivere Sicht auf dein eigenes Leben und zukünftige Ziele erschaffen. Wenn du schüchtern bist oder eher ängstlich gegenüber neuen Erfahrungen, Kulturen und Reisen, kann Freiwilligenarbeit im Ausland eine aufschlussreiche Möglichkeit sein, um auch in diesem Bereich Selbstvertrauen aufzubauen (und nicht zu vergessen, gleichzeitig ein bisschen von der Welt zu sehen!). „Wenn du dich einsam fühlst, oder auch einfach nur deinen Bekanntenkreis erweitern willst, kann freiwilliges Engagement in deiner Gemeinde eine tolle und unterhaltsame Möglichkeit sein, neue Leute kennen zu lernen.“ Untersuchungen haben gezeigt, dass Freiwilligenarbeit besonders nützlich und wichtig für Jugendliche sein kann, die gerade erst ihren Lebensweg angetreten haben, um dadurch ihr Selbstwertgefühl und Selbstvertrauen zu stärken. In einer 2017 durchgeführten Studie der University of Missouri und der Brigham Young University, an der fast 700 11- bis 14-Jährige teilnahmen, wurde untersucht, wie sich Teilen, Helfen und das Trösten anderer auf das Selbstvertrauen auswirkt. Die Studie ergab, dass altruistisches Verhalten das Selbstwertgefühl von Teenagern wirklich erhöhen kann. Jugendliche, die Fremden ihre Hilfe anboten, gaben bei einer Befragung ein Jahr später ein höheres Selbstwertgefühl an. In einem Bericht der National Youth Agency scheinen diese Zusammenhänge bestätigt zu werden. Darin betonten junge Menschen im Alter von 11 bis 25 Jahren wiederholt, „dass Freiwilligenarbeit ihr Selbstvertrauen, Selbstwertgefühl und und den Glauben an sie selbst erhöht habe.“ Dieser Selbstvertrauensschub stehe in engem Zusammenhang mit verbesserten Kommunikationsfähigkeiten, insbesondere unter jungen Freiwilligen die vorher nervös waren, neue Leute kennenzulernen. 3. Freiwilligenarbeit ist hilfreich für die körperliche Gesundheit... Interessanterweise bringt Freiwilligenarbeit deutliche gesundheitliche Vorteile mit sich, die nicht nur die geistige, sondern überraschenderweise auch die körperliche Gesundheit verbessern können. Tatsächlich deuten immer mehr Hinweise darauf hin, dass Menschen, die ihre Zeit Anderen widmen, von einem niedrigeren Blutdruck und einer längeren Lebensdauer profitieren könnten. Eine Studie aus dem Jahr 1999 ergab, dass „sehr aktive Helfer“ (Freiwillige, die sich bei zwei oder mehr Organisationen engagierten) eine um 63 Prozent niedrigere Sterblichkeitsrate aufwiesen als Nicht-Freiwillige. Neuere Untersuchungen (2013) der Carnegie Mellon University ergaben, dass Erwachsene über 50, die regelmäßig freiwillig arbeiteten, weniger wahrscheinlich an Bluthochdruck (Hypertonie) erkranken als Nicht-Freiwillige. Bluthochdruck ist ein bedeutender Indikator für die Gesundheit, da er zu Schlaganfällen, Herzerkrankungen und vorzeitigem Tod beiträgt. Freiwilligenarbeit verbessert die körperliche Gesundheit! © Dragon Images/Shutterstock Rodlescia Sneed, Autor der Hauptstudie, sagte, dass Freiwilligenarbeit die körperliche Aktivität unter denjenigen steigern könne, die sonst nicht besonders aktiv sind und so Stress reduzieren könnte: „Viele Menschen finden Freiwilligenarbeit hilfreich, um Stress abzubauen, und wir wissen, dass Stress sehr stark mit dem gesundheitlichen Zustand zusammenhängt.“ Wesentlich ist, dass Freiwillige diese gesundheitlichen Vorteile auch zu bemerken scheinen. Eine Studie der United Health Group und des Optum Institute mit über 3.300 Erwachsenen in den USA aus dem Jahr 2013 ergab, dass sich 76 Prozent der freiwilligen Helfer in den USA durch die Arbeit körperlich gesünder fühlen. Außerdem gaben rund 25 Prozent an, dass Freiwilligentätigkeiten von große Bedeutung bei der Bewältigung chronischer Gesundheitszustände waren. 4. …und für die geistige ebenfalls Wenn es darum geht, welche Auswirkung Freiwilligenarbeit auf die psychische Gesundheit haben kann, liegen die Vorteile auf der Hand. Sie kann Helfen, Stress, Depressionen und den Auswirkungen von Angstzuständen entgegenzuwirken. In der Tat kann der Aspekt des sozialen Miteinanders bei der freiwilligen Aktivität für andere einen tiefgreifenden Einfluss auf dein gesamtes psychologisches Wohlbefinden haben. Freiwilligenarbeit bringt dich in regelmäßigen Kontakt mit anderen und hilft dir dabei, ein stabiles Netz von Unterstützung zu entwickeln, welches wiederum gegen Einsamkeit und Depression hilft. Freiwilligenarbeit mit Tieren hat ebenfalls gezeigt, dass diese die Stimmung verbessert und Angst und Stress reduziert. Der soziale Aspekt der Freiwilligenarbeit sorgt für eine verbesserte mentale Gesundheit © Rawpixel/Shutterstock Freiwilligenarbeit fördert auch einfach deshalb die psychische Gesundheit, weil sie dich glücklich macht – auch bekannt als das „Helfer-High“. Menschen sind mental fest darauf gepolt, anderen zu geben. Durch die Messung der Gehirnaktivität und der Ausschüttung von Glückshormonen haben Forscher herausgefunden, dass die Hilfe für andere große Freude bereiten kann. Eine Studie der London School of Economics aus dem Jahr 2008 untersuchte den Zusammenhang zwischen Freiwilligentätigkeit und Glück bei einer großen Gruppe amerikanischer Erwachsener. Die Forscher stellten fest, dass ein größeres Engagement zu größerem Glück führte. Im Vergleich zu Menschen, die sich nie freiwillig engagierten, stieg die Wahrscheinlichkeit, „sehr glücklich“ zu sein, bei denjenigen, die jeden Monat einer Freiwilligentätigkeit nachgingen, um sieben Prozent. Bei denjenigen, die sich alle zwei bis vier Wochen freiwillig engagierten stieg sie sogar um 12 Prozent. 5. Freiwilligenarbeit hilft bei der Sinnsuche Da Freiwilligenarbeit bedeutet, dass man sich für Arbeit ohne finanzielle Entschädigung entscheidet, widmen die Menschen ihre freiwillige Arbeit häufig Themen und Organisationen, die sie für wichtig halten oder mit denen sie sich besonders identifizieren können. Wenn du zum Beispiel ein großer Tierfreund bist, meldest du dich vielleicht freiwillig bei einem Tierheim. Oder du lebst mit einer Krankheit oder hast dich von einer Krankheit erholt und möchtest nun einen Teil deiner freien Zeit einer Wohltätigkeitsorganisation widmen, die anderen Menschen mit derselben Krankheit hilft. Diese Art der Freiwilligenarbeit hilft dabei, ein soziales Problem anzugehen, das für dich von Bedeutung ist. Zusätzlich hilft sie dabei, sinnerfüllt zu handeln und fördert damit auch dein eigenes Glück. „Wenn es darum geht, welche Auswirkung Freiwilligenarbeit auf die psychische Gesundheit haben kann, liegen die Vorteile auf der Hand. Sie kann Helfen, Stress, Depressionen und den Auswirkungen von Angstzuständen entgegenzuwirken.“ Freiwilligenarbeit kann in jedem Alter dabei helfen, einen Sinn zu finden. Häufig ist dies vor allem bei älteren Menschen der Fall - bei Personen, die in Rente gegangen sind oder möglicherweise ihren Partner oder ihre Freunde verloren haben. Aber unabhängig von deinem Lebensalter kann Freiwilligenarbeit eine hilfreiche Technik sein, um deinem Leben eine neue Bedeutung und Richtung zu geben. 6. Freiwilligenarbeit lässt dich deine eigenen Probleme vergessen Ein weiterer Vorteil der Freiwilligentätigkeit besteht darin, dass wir durch die Fokussierung auf andere ein tieferes Verständnis für Perspektive gewinnen. So können wir uns von unseren negativen Gedanken lösen und ständiges Grübeln beenden. Freiwilligenarbeit beinhaltet oft die Hilfe für Bedürftige und kann hilfreich sein, um uns zu zeigen, dass unser eigenes Leben nicht so schlecht ist, wie wir es uns vorgestellt haben. 7. Freiwilliges Engagement bietet Karrierechancen In einem zunehmend wettbewerbsintensiven Arbeitsmarkt kann die Erfahrung in der Freiwilligenarbeit unglaublich nützlich sein. Es zeigt potenziellen Arbeitgebern, dass du Initiative ergreifen kannst und bereit bist, dir Zeit zu nehmen um anderen zu helfen. Freiwilligenarbeit bietet dir außerdem die Möglichkeit, Fähigkeiten zu üben, die du später am Arbeitsplatz gut gebrauchen kannst. Kommunikation, Teamarbeit, Problemlösung, Planung und Organisation sind Schlüsselqualifikationen, die dir bei einem Vorstellungsgespräch echte Vorteile bringen können. Freiwilliges Engagement verbessert deine Jobchancen © Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock Auch wenn du gerade erst deinen Abschluss gemacht hast oder nach deinem ersten Job suchst, kann Freiwilligenarbeit eine relativ einfache Möglichkeit sein, einen Fuß in die Tür des Unternehmens zu bekommen, mit dem du gerne zusammenarbeiten würdest. Auch wenn es keine unmittelbaren Chancen auf eine spätere Anstellung gibt, kannst du doch durch freiwilliges Engagement Kontakte für die Zukunft knüpfen. Verwandtes Thema: Sechs Schritte zu wahrem Glück im Job Falls du bereits einen Job hast, aber über einen Richtungswechsel nachdenkst, kann dir freiwilliges Engagement die Möglichkeit bieten, verschiedene Karrierewege auszuprobieren, ohne dich langfristig engagieren zu müssen. Insbesondere wenn du dir nicht sicher bist, wohin du als Nächstes möchtest, ist Freiwilligenarbeit eine tolle Möglichkeit. Fazit: Die Bedeutung der Freiwilligenarbeit Klar ist, dass die Vorteile der Freiwilligenarbeit enorm sind – sie verbessert die geistige und körperliche Gesundheit, man findet neue Freunde und vermeidet Einsamkeit, findet Sinn und tieferes Selbstvertrauen. All diese Dinge tragen wiederum dazu bei, dein allgemeines Glück zu steigern. Wenn du Freiwilligenarbeit in Betracht ziehst, solltest du dir vorher einige Fragen stellen. Überlege dir zunächst, wofür du brennst – diese Art von Arbeit wirst du mit größerer Wahrscheinlichkeit genießen und dich für sie engagieren. Suchst du eine regelmäßige Beschäftigung oder bevorzugst du ein einmaliges Projekt? Welche Fähigkeiten bringst du mit und was kannst du dir erhoffen, wenn du dich freiwillig meldest? Viel Glück, wenn du schließlich den Sprung wagst und stell sicher, dass du Spaß dabei hast! Freiwilligenarbeit ist wichtig – die Vorteile liegen auf der Hand – aber es ist auch wichtig, Spaß dabei zu haben! ● Main image: Rawpixel/Shutterstock Hast du dich jemals freiwillig engagierst oder tust du es derzeit? Was sind für dich die Vorteile? Was hat dir am besten gefallen? Die happiness.com Community würde sich über deine Geschichte freuen... Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin kümmert sich um das englische happiness Magazin und liebt Schwimmen, Yoga, Tanzen und alle Vintage-Dinge. Hier erfährst du mehr.

By improving your emotional and sexual intimacy with a partner, you can boost your overall happiness levels. So, from talking more to avoiding secrets, here are nine ways you can improve intimacy through better connection. Are you looking to increase your intimacy with a partner? Or have you ever wondered why more intimacy could improve your overall well-being? The reality is that if you feel good about yourself, then the rest will follow, and it's just as much about what we say and how we act towards our partners as it is about sex. Obviously, sex leads to excitement and gratification. But what's equally as important is the closeness afterwards; mindfulness and cuddling, that helps to improves intimacy and well-being. A tiring day can take its toll. Having your partner to talk to at the end of it is both rewarding and stress-reducing. There are many other factors which can help with feeling good and boosting intimacy; a spontaneous kiss or hug, for example. Being sympathetic towards your partner’s feelings by responding to their mood will improve mutual well-being and harmony. Outlined below are nine techniques you can try that will increase the intimate part of your relationship and, in turn, your overall happiness quota. Increasing intimacy: 9 tips 1. Talk openly with your partner According to The National Centre for Biotechnology Information, relationships, whether they are short- or long-term, will affect us in many ways. One factor to consider is the depth and quality of the partnership. The research from the Centre shows that both physical and mental health can be affected. Indeed, children from unhappy or broken homes will find it harder to give themselves totally to a loving relationship by increasing intimacy. This lack results in friction between partners. It's considered to be a difficult problem to overcome, but honesty is always best. Talk openly together: a sympathetic lover will understand and take their time to resolve issues. Talking openly is essential for an intimate relationship 2. Boost your passion levels There are many ways of increasing intimacy. Psychologist Robert J. Sternberg, quoted in an article by Susan K Perry Ph.D., discovered that, after carrying out a survey, physical intimacy was the most typical method. One of the reasons given was the lover's facial expressions: the closeness of giving oneself completely during lovemaking also helps to better well-being. Of course, sometimes it's enough just to be together, caressing and kissing. Just because this doesn't ultimately lead to intercourse, it's no less erotic or satisfying. RELATED: Want a happy sex life? Here are the 4 key secrets 3. Understand your emotions, and that of your partner According to UWire, it's important to understand your emotions so you can talk together about more complex feelings. Indeed, it's especially important for couples to have emotional intimacy as well as sexual intimacy, to find a greater bond, without stress, which improves well-being. Think about it: it's not always that both partners feel like making love at the same time, so compromise is one key to increasing intimacy. In fact, showing consideration and kindness will go a long way to improving and maintaining a relationship. If your partner is too tired, then a gentle massage with scented oils will arouse the senses and reduce stress. Perhaps they've had a bad day? Talk with your partner and try to understand their emotions to boost your mutual connection and improve intimacy levels. 4. Spend time together and do something different Happiness is an essential feature in both increasing intimacy and, of course, to make you feel happier. A research paper from the Harvard Medical School showed that by being grateful for life and everything it throws at us is the best way to see the goodness in ourselves. This gratitude, in turn, helps us to connect with others; to show them kindness and to understand their feelings better. “Showing consideration and kindness will go a long way to improving a relationship. Talk with your partner and try to understand their emotions to boost your mutual connection and improve intimacy levels.” Also, it improves health, the ability to deal with problems, and helps to develop strong relationships. And this applies not just to our partners, but to everyone. Many couples find that simply by doing things together, such as playing golf, tennis, travelling, being in nature, or simply walking the dog, can improve well-being which, in turn, can lead to increased intimacy. Indeed, don't get too used to the comfort zone of coming home after work, eating and watching Netflix together. While this shared time is enjoyable, getting out of your home and trying new activities will boost your connection further! 5. Tell each other your secrets Having secrets creates distrust, resulting in arguments, stress and, potentially, health problems. It's important to remember to listen and not to judge. When your partner tells you their secrets, they're doing it to unburden themselves as well as find understanding. Be mindful of just how difficult it is to talk about sensitive subjects. Listen carefully and be constructive with your questions and responses. This way many problems that have occurred can be resolved. Have fun by asking each other these ‘36 Questions That Lead to Love’ and get closer to each other while doing so. Remember: sharing your innermost thoughts and being able to compromise is crucial for mutual well-being. Sharing is caring: don't hide secrets Unsplash 6. Open up to increase mindfulness It's important not to try to change your partner, after all, this is the person that you fell in love with. You might find that you wouldn’t like them any other way! Be non-judgmental, kind, and sensitive to their feelings at all times. This will bring you closer together, thus increasing intimacy. By being open with each other, you will learn to sense when something is troubling them. RELATED: What is Intimacy Anorexia? Also, avoid confrontational moments by simply asking how they are feeling. This sort of relationship will improve well-being and harmonious coexistence. Each person will feel that they can be themselves. The same should hold true in the bedroom. Exchange ideas about what you both enjoy. This type of mindfulness will go a long way towards increasing intimacy and openness. 7. Think about getting a pet Sometimes opposites attract. How we interact together in a partnership depends very much on each individual and their need for personal space. This understanding also explains why some people transfer their affections to, for example, dogs. A 1997 study, 'Why Do People Love Their Pets?’ by J Archer, showed that people can sometimes give their pets far more affection than they do family members. “It's especially important for couples to have emotional intimacy as well as sexual intimacy, to find a greater bond, without stress, which improves well-being.” Pets are also beneficial to our health. For example, the act of stroking can lower blood pressure, reduce loneliness and give you a sense of being. Going for a walk with your dog is another example. Good exercise aside; it allows us to interact with otherwise complete strangers, brought together by a love of animals. RELATED: The healing power of pets – 6 key health benefits 8. Consider having more routine Some of us think that predictability is boring, while others relish it. However, Robert J. Sternberg, a Professor of Human Development at Cornell University, found that it can actually help in increasing intimacy. His quote in Susan K Perry PhD's article, states that: 'the partners are so connected with each other that the one doesn't recognize the other is there, just as the air we breathe can be taken for granted, despite its necessity to life'. Over time, we can become complacent about our partners' good and bad points. Often we know each other so well, we can live our lives together in complete harmony. However, getting into a rut should be avoided. Sending quality time boosts intimacy shutterstock/Syda Prodcutions 9. Happiness and kindness are of major importance By giving to others, we're far more likely to receive the same back. For example, a child brought up in a loving family environment where hugging and kissing are the norm is more likely to grow into an adult that's willing and happy to show affection. Mary Jo Kreitzer, PhD, states that all relationships, casual or intimate, are essential to our feeling of happiness. This, in turn, helps children to grow into open-minded, confident individuals. Bean Robinson, PhD, in the same article, states that: ‘We are very social creatures. In terms of sex, there seems to be a real need for touch and connection’. Being aware of this can lead the way to increasing intimacy. In order to boost well-being by improving intimacy, it's important to have positive feelings about yourself. Be open and thoughtful towards your partner, while at the same time appreciating the wonderful times together and putting any unhappy memories firmly in the past. ● Main image shutterstock/Roman Chazov happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Communication skills | Learning | Relationship advice Written by Guest Author We're happy to publish articles by guest authors that will broaden the perspective and bring new insights. If you're interested in publishing an article here on happiness.com, please contact us.