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There were many feel-good health and environmental stories in the press over January. Ed Gould rounds up his Top 10 from the past month to uplift and inspire. January is often regarded as a rather bleak month. However, it's also a time of renewal, when growth and optimism tend to return. Here's our pick of the Top 10 good-news stories from the past month. 1. MBSR is beneficial over the longer term According to a paper published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General in January, mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) has long-term positive effects on people's emotional well-being. The research goes further than previous studies into MBSR which tended to study people's immediate response to the practice. This latest research focusses on how long-term training in MBSR helps people to appraise emotional responses better over time and not just while they're undergoing mindfulness training courses. RELATED: Free online MBSR course 2. Exercise boosts brain function It's long been known that exercise is great for the heart, lungs and muscles, as well helping to improve mental health issues such as depression. However, reports from CNN in January stated that working out can also help the brain to perform better. New research has shown that synapses – the interconnections between brain networks – are improved through physical exercise. Kaitlin Casaletto, of the Memory and Aging Center at the University of California San Francisco, said the research showed that thinking and remembering were both improved thanks to working out. Furthermore, improved synapses through exercise may be a key factor in keeping dementia at bay. Exercise could boost brain performance shutterstock/Jacob Lund 3. Non-toxic fire extinguisher developed Fireproof coatings for surfaces are often derived from unpleasant chemical compounds that are not necessarily good for the wider environment. Nevertheless, scientists have come up with a non-toxic alternative that can coat flames, helping to prevent them from spreading if a blaze were to break out. The idea came from observing the way lava works when flowing from a volcano post-eruption. According to the Times of India, researchers at the University of Southern Queensland came up with the retardant which, it's hoped, will offer many future uses with much less impact on the global environment. 4. Record solar power levels in USA According to a press release issued by the United States Energy Information Administration, almost half of the country's electrical generating capacity will come from renewable, solar sources by the end of the year. Wind and battery-powered electrical production are set to account for about 12.7 Gigawatts of America's renewable electricity in 2022. However, it's now estimated that 46 per cent of the country's overall electrical generation will be from solar in the coming year. That's set to be 21.5 Gigawatts of clean, green electrical power each year by next winter. 5. Good news for those with dog allergies Various news outlets around the world reported the news that Japanese research may have come up with a cure for dog allergies. People who would like to own or pet a dog but who have allergies are often forced to steer clear of them. However, scientists at the University of Osaka claim to have identified the 'epitomes' – molecules that cause allergic reactions – that are found in dogs. This means vaccination therapies have become a distinct possibility in the near future, good news for all dog lovers, whether they're allergic or not. Could this be the end of dog allergies? shutterstock/Prostock-studio 6. Pristine coral reef found in the Pacific Ocean A report published by the BBC stated that marine explorers had found a large and previously undiscovered coral reef close to the island of Tahiti in the South Pacific. A team from the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization was responsible for the discovery. The coral reef is deeper than others that are known about, too, suggesting that there may be other such ecosystems hidden elsewhere. According to one of the divers who was involved photographing the reef, the structure of the corals is very uniform, making it appear like a giant marine sculpture, as well as a natural habitat. 7. Genetics offers a breakthrough in treating obesity It's long been known that lifestyle can play a big part in obesity issues. However, this is only a part of the story because genetics can also impact on how large, or not, someone will become, regardless of their diet and exercise regime. A report in Western News, the news outlet of the University of Western Ontario stated that a gene called Pannexin 3 is the one that seems to impact on obese people the most. Researchers there found that the gene was crucial in the production of adipose fat cells of the body. It's now hoped that a pharmaceutical treatment can be developed to suppress the gene, something that should allow obese people to lose weight more easily and maintain a healthier weight afterwards. RELATED: Is happiness genetic? Here's what science says 8. Psychoactive mushrooms found to be safe A report published by Sky News stated that so-called 'magic' mushrooms are safe to use for certain mental health conditions, such as depression. There have been numerous studies into magic mushrooms and their effectiveness, or otherwise, in treating such conditions. However, until January, there was very little research to say whether such treatments were safe or not. According to the study conducted at King's College London, relatively low doses of the mushrooms – either 10mg or 25mg – are safe to use when they are issued by trained therapists. It's now hoped that a new treatment pathway for people with post-traumatic stress disorder will be possible based on mushroom consumption. Magic mushrooms could be used to treat depression shutterstock/anitram 9. Smart packaging developed for fresher, eco-friendly food Food packaging is often made from unsustainable materials that do not decompose safely. However, where eco-friendly materials are used, food can often age more quickly than would otherwise be the case. In turn, this can lead to greater levels of food waste. To overcome this conundrum a team from Harvard and the Nanyang Technological University have come up with a new material that seals foodstuffs off effectively, making it safer to east and longer-lasting. It will also biodegrade good news for the environment. A report in the Daily Mail stated that antimicrobials are also released by the material, helping to keep harmful bacteria at bay. 10. World's largest wind farm to soon be fully operational According to CNBC, Triton Knoll – the planet's biggest offshore wind-powered electrical generation farm – will be at full capacity soon. The farm first started producing electricity in 2021 but will be able to produce enough energy to power up to 800,000 homes in the near future. A total of 90 wind turbines will soon be in use, capable of producing up to 857 Megawatts of energy. The farm is located in the North Sea off the coast of Lincolnshire, UK. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Sustainability | Biotechnology | Nature | Biology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Is the intuitive thought process reliable, and can we quantify it? Sonia Vadlamani discusses forms of intuitive thinking and why implementing these can help us make better decisions. Perceiving an important lesson or a mysterious insight without any logical thought or reasoning being utilized –also known as intuitive thinking – has been prevalent in us humans since time immemorial. “There can be as much value in the blink of an eye as in months of rational analysis,” claims author Malcolm Gladwell. As a matter of fact, we often apply intuition alongside rationality, logical reasoning, and facts, while we are assessing a situation, even if we are unaware of it. What exactly is intuition? Intuition refers to responses or feelings that do not arise from deliberate reasoning or conscious thinking. The subconscious brain stores lessons and findings from our past experiences and attempts to recognize and retrieve these thought patterns in similar situations. These learnings are often lightning-fast and not logical at the outset but seem to occur from a deep-seated knowledge. “Intuition involves a sense of knowing without knowing how one knows,” states Dr Seymour Epstein, Professor Emeritus in Psychology at University of Massachusetts. Also known as a ‘gut feeling’ or ‘hunch’, intuition can play a crucial role in day-to-day choices as well as complex decisions, so that aunt with an uncanny foresight for predicting a tragedy or the friend who sometimes can spot incoming trouble when she meets your love interest, may in fact be relying on their intuition to make these decisions. RELATED: 7 ways to tap into your intuition Relying on intuition has saved me from physical harm and mental distress many a time. A few years ago I was returning with a group of friends from a road trip spanning several thousand miles. We debated whether to keep driving through the night to cover more distance, or to halt at an inn, so we’d be rested and refreshed when we started driving again in the morning. I usually rush through the return journey as I start missing home, but curiously my gut told me to avoid it this once. “Don’t drive tonight” was the specific answer I was hearing from within, and though surprised, I heeded it nevertheless. Intuitive thinking is our inner 'gut feeling' I didn’t quite understand the need to take a break in this manner, but somehow managed to convince my friends to do the same. In the morning, when we started driving afresh after a good night’s rest and a nourishing breakfast, we witnessed a massive accident on the bridge which was the only way out of the town. A sleep-deprived driver had tragically driven a bus off the bridge into the river the previous night, causing a traffic mayhem which had begun to clear only in the morning. If we had driven through the night, we’d be exactly there at the time of the accident. While we felt extremely sorry for those who’d been in the mishap, I was incredibly glad I listened to my inner voice. Intuitive thinking and cultures Interestingly, one’s tendency to trust their intuitive thought and the context it’s used for is warped in cultural and geographical influences. According to Gerd Gigerenzer, director at Max Planck Institute for Human Development, intuitive thinking is considered somewhat inferior to rational thinking and logical deduction in the North American and South Korean subcontinents. In contrast, a study by Emma E. Buchtel et al revealed that East Asians tend to favor intuitive reasoning more as compared to those from other regions in the world. In Japan, inner intuitive thought is encouraged as the primary reasoning method from a tender age and is honed with the guidance of masters. • JOIN US! Sign-up and connect with a caring, curious and spiritual community • Also, some religions value intuitive reasoning more than others. Religions like Hinduism and Buddhism inherently encourage intuitive reasoning, thus instilling personal qualities which help build authentic self, like awareness, mindfulness, staying in the present moment and meditation practices, etc. is prioritized. Researchers claim that we begin to develop and utilize intuition as early as from the age of six, when we are still in the second stage of development, also known as the stage of concrete operations. According to the Truine Brain theory, intuition may arise from near the pineal gland situated in the prefrontal cortex area in the brain, which regulates our emotions or affective system, in addition to granting us lessons or insights with inputs from morality and intuition. “Some religions value intuitive reasoning more than others. Hinduism and Buddhism inherently encourage intuitive reasoning, thus instilling personal qualities helping to build your authentic self.” Interestingly, while intuitive thought doesn’t really originate in the gut, the presence of a wide range of neurotransmitter microbes in the gut make it possible for us to register our emotional experiences in the form of gastrointestinal distress. This gut-brain connection enables us to often feel emotions like anger, fear and excitement, etc, in the stomach area, which is why we sometimes call intuitive thought as our “gut feeling”. The four types of intuitive thinking Researchers have theorized four kinds of intuitive thinking, each distinct and unique yet easily identifiable in most situations: 1. Mental intuitive thinking Mental intuitive thought suggests one’s ability to find the solution for a problem, without the need for deliberation or detailed analysis. This intuitive skill is commonly seen or ideal for professions which require quick decisions to be made, like firefighters, negotiation specialists, etc. In fact, the US Office of Naval Research devised an extensive study to investigate the scope of “spidey-sense” or mental intuitive thinking to enable naval officers to make quick and efficient decisions in high-pressure and chaotic circumstances. Likewise, seasoned stockbrokers and financial wizards value their mental intuitive abilities for recognizing favorable market patterns and making winning trading decisions, a skill they mostly attribute to years of experience and discipline. 2. Emotional intuitive thinking Emotional intuition refers to one’s ability to immediately sense someone’s emotional state and personality traits. Michelle Despres, Intuitive Medium therapist and the author of Intuitively You: Evolve Your Life and Mend the World, describes this feeling as “clairsentience” or the “Intuitive Act of Clear Sensing”. A keener emotional intuitive quotient could mean higher empathy levels towards others, which means that in addition to sensing one’s energy vibrations and understanding how they’re feeling, one can also view a situation from their perspective. Intuition relies more on the heart than the head shutterstock/BRO.vector 3. Psychic intuitive thinking Psychic intuitive thinking involves overcoming a problem during a crisis or choosing the best path forward in a difficult situation without putting any deliberate mental effort into it. Psychic intuitive thought can be useful for preventing negative influences, or in determining your social dynamics. 4. Spiritual intuitive thinking Spiritual intuition concerns one’s own self-awareness and experience rather than fact-based reasoning. This kind of intuition relates to one’s connection with the higher dimension and elevated awareness, and is closely related to the principles of Buddhism, which renders it an almost supernatural characteristic. “While intuitive input can be recognized with ease, it is difficult to describe and quantify it. However, the role of intuition in decision-making cannot be denied.” Research states that encouraging intuitive thought and relying on it can lighten our overall cognitive load and reduce the response time, allowing us to make decisions swiftly and more accurately. While intuition facilitates survival by offering quick responses in a situation, it can rely heavily on “cultural capital” or learning inputs specific to our cultural, political, moral, and social landscape. Therefore, it is imperative to counter intuitive thought with rational inputs to avoid bias or inaccuracy in our decision-making process. With sufficient practice over time and by putting your trust in intuitive thought process, it is possible to tap into your intuition to improve your decision-making prowess as well as to boost creativity. Is intuitive thinking measurable? Intuition played an important role in cognition for the greatest philosophers like Plato and Aristotle. Plato believed that intuition, be it supernatural or rational, entails the immediate perception of ideas. Albert Einstein, one of the greatest physicists known to the world, has been quoted extensively as stating, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant.” Einstein maintained that his groundbreaking theory of relativity was a result of his intuitive thinking, even as it faced critical objection from the scientific community then. Despite extensive acceptance of the existence of intuition and its effect on decision-making, most researchers have largely been unable to quantify it. However, a recent study by Joel Pearson et al revealed that the impact of emotional intuition over one’s choices could be measured and quantified. Pearson concludes that intuitive thought or “nonconscious emotional information” can improve the quality of decision making, in addition to improving the speed of decision-making and accurate results. Takeaway: intuitive thinking Indeed, intuition is a complex phenomenon as it is embedded in knowledge and lessons drawn from past experience. While intuitive input can be recognized with ease, it is difficult to describe and quantify it accurately. However, the role of intuition in decision-making cannot be denied. When applied carefully in conjunction with logical reasoning, intuition can offer an extensive competitive edge for individuals, as well as organizations. • Main image: shutterstock/Max4e Photo happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Dream Interpretation | Positive Psychology | Breathwork Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Struggling to get started with meditation? Watching how-to videos online can be a great help. Check out this guide to the best meditation for beginners videos from Arlo Laibowitz and get your om on! The internet – especially YouTube – is packed with videos on how to meditate. But where do you start when you're a beginner to meditation? What different approaches do these videos have? And are they really helpful to start or further develop your meditation practice? Well, the answer is yes, they are useful! So, here are our top six picks on the best videos around if you're searching how to meditate as a beginner. 1. How to Meditate There are many introduction videos, or 'Meditation 101' videos to be found on YouTube that are perfect for those just starting out on their meditation journey. One of the most accessible is How to Meditate on the watchwellcast channel. This channel consists of videos that give instructions on how to do 100 different wellness exercises in 100 days. Noteworthy topics covered in these other videos include how to be grateful, how to do yoga, how to stop procrastinating, how to apologise, and how to sleep better. This video on meditation for beginners is playful and no-nonsense It comes with a pleasant, but slightly quirky female voice-over, made for absolute beginners to meditation. It explains what meditation does – creating focus to the mind and training the brain – and goes over some of the scientifically-backed benefits of meditation: better mood, less physical pain, more blood flow to the brain, and lower blood pressure, etc. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Learn how to meditate for beginners The main emphasis of the video is a step-by-step guided introductory meditation of counting the breath. Although not mentioned in the video itself, this form of meditation is the basis of vipassana, or insight meditation. Within the span of 100 seconds, this beginner's meditation video will guide you in doing your first practice. And, according to the video, by doing this form of meditation for just ten minutes every day you'll start reaping the benefits. If not, you can try another type of meditation. For an absolute beginner, this how-to video is really all you need to get yourself started. • JOIN US! Sign up and join our curious and caring community! • It gives you some easy and compelling reasons to do so, and explains simply and clearly what technique to use. After doing this form of meditation for a while, or when you've become more versed in meditation techniques, you'll probably need deeper material. Either by developing vipasanna further, or moving on to other forms. 2. The No Bullshit Guide to Meditation A more in-depth and longer introductory video on how to meditate is How to Meditate – the No Bullshit Guide to Meditation by Leo Gura of Actualised.org. His popular YouTube channel deals with many different meditation, self-improvement and self-actualization topics. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Leo Gura from Actualised.org teaches beginners how to meditate In this beginner's video, Leo talks on-camera at length about his own journey in his practice, and about the benefits of meditation for creating happiness in the present moment. Leo focuses more on the brain health benefits of meditation, ranging from increased productivity and creativity, to the melting of the ego, and the holy grail of meditation: attaining enlightenment. Clear instructions how to perform the basic breath meditation Leo then goes on to briefly mention different techniques of meditation, before further elaborating on a mindfulness of the breath meditation. He gives clear instructions how to perform this basic meditation, ranging from setting a timer for your practice, how and where to sit, and how to deal with the inevitable thoughts that will come up as you try to keep focused on your breath. Leo also stresses the importance of creating a daily practice and emphasises that some of the benefits of meditation will come only months or years after you've started. He mentions the importance of having a clear goal and vision on why to meditate as well. And by sharing his personal reasons, he encourages us to formulate similar goals and vision to our own meditation practice. “Leo discusses an in-depth approach to meditation for beginners and stresses the importance of creating a daily habit of your meditation practice.” This video is targeted to basically the same people as the first video: beginners that want to start with meditation. The biggest difference between the videos is the amount of time that Leo spends in explaining the scientific background, his own journey, and the process of meditation. If you prefer a more in-depth approach, and being challenged more about your motivations to meditate, then this video could be a better place to start. 3. Easy Mantra Meditation For people that already have a meditation practice of vipasanna and are looking for a new beginner's technique, Easy Mantra Meditation by the Yoga Vidya organization is an excellent choice. Yoga Vidya is a leading non-profit yoga seminar provider that facilitates retreats in northern Europe. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Easy Mantra Meditation for beginners with Yoga Vidya Easy-to-follow steps to get you started with Om mantra meditation In this video, a female practitioner (with male voice-over) demonstrates the basic and easy-to-follow steps to get you started with Om mantra meditation. The difference between Om mantra meditation and a breath meditation lies mostly in the focus that we create in our minds, either on the mantra or on the breath. However, the result is the same: that we observe the sensations and thoughts that arise in non-judgmental awareness. A nice addition to this practice is the emphasis on positive affirmations at the end of the meditation that the video guides you through. As a beginner in mantra meditation, this clip is a great start. “The difference between Om mantra meditation and a breath meditation lies mostly in the focus that we create in our minds.” If you want to dive deeper in mantra meditations for beginner's, then there are more mantra-based meditation videos to be found on this channel. And if the way of instruction of the video appeals to you, then as an added benefit it could open up your practice to include yoga, to be found in other videos on this organization’s channel. 4. Transcendental Meditation Technique (Don't Pay $1,000+) Based on Vedic traditions, this method was developed by the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Transcendental Meditation (TM) has been made famous by practitioners as diverse as The Beatles, Oprah Winfrey, David Lynch and Russell Brand. What exactly it consists of involves personalised mantras that you have to pay for in training sessions by authorised teachers, although there have been criticisms of this. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Free Transcendental Meditation for beginners A free intro to beginner's Transcendental Meditation (TM) In the video a male voice-over takes us through the steps of this form of meditation. It has a static picture of a meditating man on screen as the only visual element. The transcript of the video is listed directly below the video. It might be just as insightful as looking at the video itself, especially since both video and transcript explain how to choose your mantra. It also explains the steps of the practice, that take much longer than just watching the video. The main essence of Transcendental Meditation, getting to the “no-thought zone” is addressed: how to recognize it, stay in it, or reconnect to it. It's this same “no-thought zone” that Deepak Chopra calls the field of pure potentially, or pure consciousness. “Transcendental Meditation (TM) has been made famous by practitioners as diverse as The Beatles, Oprah Winfrey and David Lynch.” The video itself is not the best, but for people that are attracted to TM, having a free beginner's introduction in working with this mantra technique might be all they ever need, instead of having to pay the high fees. Plus, other videos that also explain the technique for free will show up in your suggested videos on YouTube. 5. 10-Minute Guided Meditation for Self-Compassion For people that want to explore another technique, based on metta, or loving-kindness meditation, the video '10-Minute Guided Meditation for Self-Compassion' is a nice place to start. This video is published by Sonima, a wellness brand that empowers people to live healthy, balanced, and happy lives. Self-compassion meditation as a technique has been made famous by the American researcher Kristin Neff, who in turn drew her inspiration from the work of Jon Kabat-Zinn. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } 10-minute guided meditation for self-compassion This is technically not a how-to-meditate video, but, in fact, a guided meditation. It's narrated by Jamie Zimmerman, a doctor and practitioner of “meditation medicine” who tragically died in an accident two years ago. There's no visual instruction on how to sit or go through the practice. This guided visualisation meditation, with imagery of nature, people, and wildlife, presumes that you have sat before, that you're already versed in mindfulness of the breath meditation. RELATED: 5 strategies to help you develop a regular meditation practice It takes you through steps in visualizing children at different ages. Projecting your memory of yourself at these different ages. It invites you to use the same words of affirmation that are used in metta meditation, to send wishes of well-being: happiness, love, peace, a life free from suffering and living to the fullest. If you've never practiced metta meditation and self-compassion meditation before, this video is a great start for beginner's. Especially if you meditate a lot within the vipassana tradition, it can be a real eye-opener on how loving-kindness and self-compassion can further deepen your practice. Sonima states that the video is especially suitable for people that are working on making life changes or personal improvements. 6. 10 Reasons You Should NEVER Meditate Still not convinced that you should dive into meditation yourself? Then you might want to watch '10 Reasons You Should NEVER Meditate'. This playful and funny video made by psychologist, life coach and author Ralph Smart, gives you ten great reasons why you should (not) meditate. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Ralph Smart convinces beginners why (not) to meditate. Ralph discusses on-camera some of the benefits of meditation. It ranges from how meditation changes the brain and the way we eat, to how meditation makes you let go of judgment and makes you stop ruminating and blaming yourself. He does all of this in a very mindful, light-hearted and insightful way. • JOIN US! Sign up to learn more about meditation and mindfulness • Although not a 'how to' video itself, this is a great meditation for beginner's video if you first need to be convinced that meditation is something for you. The promise of meditation, that Ralph stresses as well, is that it makes you live fully in the present moment and makes you more confident. And, that ultimately, it makes you happier. Now isn’t that something you would NEVER want for yourself? ● Main image: Colourbox.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Compassion | Tonglen meditation | Kundalini meditation Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.

Are you a perfectionist? Always seem to be busy? Do you find it hard to say ‘no’? Then you may be living with high functioning anxiety. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains how the overachievers and overthinkers of this world can learn techniques to manage this chronic state of anxiety. High functioning anxiety is not an official diagnosis. It is a term popularly used to describe a state of chronic anxiety that often goes undiagnosed – and unnoticed. However, that does not mean that it is not a real thing. It is, and it can negatively affect your physical health and mental well-being. The hallmark of high functioning anxiety is the fighting mode of those affected. They are many of the overachievers, overdoers, overthinkers of the world. They are people who are white-knuckling their way through anxiety every day of their lives. In this article, we will look into what characterises people who describe themselves as having high functioning anxiety and how to deal with it. What is high functioning anxiety? A quote fit to start our discussion on what high functioning anxiety is, is one by Alain de Botton, a contemporary British philosopher: “The largest part of what we call ‘personality’ is determined by how we’ve opted to defend ourselves against anxiety and sadness.” High functioning anxiety is not recognised as an official diagnosis in the current revisions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) or the International Classification of Diseases (ICD). People who are using the term define it, generally, as being anxious but pushing through the feeling by staying busy and productive. In other words, it means hiding anxiety behind being an overachiever in various areas of life. Diagnostic categories are known to change, For example, homosexuality was once considered a disorder. Other categories were amended, deleted, added, adapted, recategorised, amended again. Such changes to mental disorders’ official classifications follow new findings, observations from psychotherapy practice, and political and societal changes. Anxiety spectrum disorders, in specific, underwent substantial modifications between the DSM-IV and DSM-V. Being over-busy is a sign of high functioning anxiety shutterstock/Drazen Zigic Therefore, high functioning anxiety can be considered a real issue, even though it might not be categorised as a separate disorder at the moment. In other words, it may appear in one of the following revisions of psychiatric manuals. The experience of being anxious, hiding it, and functioning on high (top, over-the-top) performance levels is real – and psychiatry might look into that in some of the future changes to the classifications. High functioning anxiety statistics So, how many people have high functioning anxiety? That is incredibly difficult to estimate. The first problem is that it is not a diagnosis of which institutions keep track of, as already explained. Secondly, anxiety in itself is severely underdiagnosed – and we can assume that people with high functioning anxiety are particularly unlikely to seek help for it. Indeed, one study determined that, in adolescents, only one-third of those affected by anxiety sought any form of professional help. According to another study, the lifetime prevalence of anxiety disorders is approximately 30 per cent. Regardless, they remain underdiagnosed, misdiagnosed and improperly treated. “The hallmark of high functioning anxiety is the fighting mode of those affected. They are many of the overachievers, overdoers, overthinkers of the world.” Anxiety is far more prevalent in high-income countries, and it disproportionally affects women. Considering these statistics, it becomes clear why there is so much talk about high functioning anxiety lately. The pressure of living in the modern-day Western world with ever-mounting roles and obligations results in heightened anxiety. People, however, often do not seek treatment or receive adequate help. Some keep muscling their way through the demands, the pace of life and the non-stop urge to keep going forward. Symptoms of high functioning anxiety As there is no official category in psychiatric manuals, we must rely on other sources to determine how high functioning anxiety looks like in real life. According to the South African College of Applied Psychology, these are the five main symptoms: 1. Staying busy all the time People with high functioning anxiety are keeping themselves busy at all times. This behaviour goes beyond productivity and working on one’s goals. They have an emotional need to keep themselves occupied. Relaxation and doing nothing at all feels threatening and uncomfortable. 2. Being a perfectionist Those who know them describe people with high functioning anxiety as highly determined, ambitious, and intent on always getting things done. In other words, everything you imagine under a Type A personality. This is not surprising, given the type’s association with anxiety. 3. Poor sleep Same as with generalised anxiety disorder, people with high functioning anxiety often have sleep disturbances. They can have difficulties falling or staying asleep. On the other hand, when they manage to get a bit of shut-eye, it is a fidgety sleep that brings little rest. Excessive working in overachievers can lead to poor sleep 4. Inability to say “No” Because of their need to be liked and acknowledged, those living with a high functioning form of anxiety are often unable to decline a request. They profoundly fear disappointing others. 5. Numbing behaviour Some people affected by high functioning anxiety try to numb the apprehension they feel. It can be a slightly more adaptive option, like exercise. However, often it is the straightforward unhealthy choice, such as excessive use of alcohol, psychoactive substances or overeating. Potential positives From one point of view, one that considers objective achievements, high functioning anxiety might come with benefits. The “trademark” of people affected by it is their high productivity. It is also one of the reasons why many are reluctant to seek professional help. If you think that you have high functioning anxiety, you are probably happy with its outcomes, even though it burdens you emotionally and physically. You might be outgoing, passionate, active and helpful. You are probably everyone’s first pick for any team. “People with high functioning anxiety are keeping themselves busy at all times. This behaviour goes beyond productivity and working on one’s goals.” You are punctual, detail-oriented, highly efficient and effective. Being perfectly organised and orderly is your middle name. On the outside, arguably, one might be pleased about managing to cope with anxiety by overachieving. After all, one of the reasons it is not considered a disorder is that it does not affect the person’s functioning. Potential negatives At the same time, albeit high functioning, it still is anxiety. In addition to the emotional toll, there are also outcomes of pushing yourself too hard. As a result of never taking a time-out, you are highly vulnerable to burnout. Obligations tend to hoard because you cannot say “no” when someone asks you to complete a task. You could also be comparing yourself to others and feeling dissatisfied with yourself all the time. Even though you might be highly sociable, inside, you probably feel insecure and tense. Because you have a hard time relaxing, you might be unable to enjoy the moment. You rarely take a vacation and relish in the benefits of obligation-free retreats. Unhealthy habits, such as working beyond optimal limits, could get the best of you. Poor sleep quality adds to exhaustion. Proneness to excessive use of alcohol or other harmful substances to numb the anxiety further strains you. Dealing with high functioning anxiety The first thing we should emphasize is: you are not going to lose your efficiency or become less successful if you address your anxiety. Some people might be reluctant to make changes because they, understandably so, like being high-fliers. However, healing from anxiety will not rob you out of your organisation skills. It will merely make you feel less stressed and your life more balanced, healthier. Anxiety troubles different people differently. So, you should try what works best for you. We give you four possible ways to deal with your high functioning anxiety: 1. Get professional help As with any mental health disturbance, the best thing you can do is seek professional help. Anxiety can be overwhelming, even the high functioning type. Anxiety disorders should be treated with psychotherapy, pharmacotherapy, or a combination of both. Cognitive-behavioural therapy is most often used, but other forms could also work for you. 2. Meditate and learn to be mindful A recent study reviewed 25 further studies on the effects of mindfulness meditation on anxiety among college students. The findings determined that such a form of mental practice has ample positive effects. In the clinical population, that is, among people diagnosed with anxiety, mindfulness-based interventions were also very effective. RELATED: Mindfulness vs meditation – understanding the difference 3. Be your own therapist You are an expert on your state. So, use this knowledge and design a toolbox specifically for your needs. For example, if you worry too much, you can designate some time- and place-specific worry time. Findings revealed that, although counter-intuitive, a half-hour of intentional worry, when it follows certain principles, lowers anxiety levels. Consider trying self-hypnosis for anxiety. According to a recent study, hypnosis audios trained the brain to exert better physical and emotional control over one’s experiences. Maybe try and work on cognitive restructuring – a technique in which you track, analyse and alter your habitual way of thinking about events and experiences. 4. Reach out Studies show that social support is one of the most powerful ways to reduce anxiety. Open up to someone who cares about you and tell them how you have been feeling. It might come as a surprise to them. However, it is important to have people who know everything about you and encourage you when you slip. It could do wonders for your need to power through your days and maintain a superhuman persona. Being your vulnerable and insecure self in a safe environment will help you tap into a more relaxed state of existence. Defend yourself against anxiety in a healthier way Although we are exposed to the pathologisation of anxiety in media and expert literature, some philosophers consider it an inherent part of being human. From that perspective, what we are left with is a choice. It is the choice of how we will view and deal with high functioning anxiety. We invite you to redesign your pick. Opt to defend yourself from the feeling in a more balanced way, with lots of self-love and self-care. Main image: shutterstock/Roman Samborskyi happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum ■ developing with free online classes in our Academy Coaching | Letting go | Authenticity Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Letting go of the past isn't easy – especially when we are hardwired to hold on to certainty – but doing so isn't helpful. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explores nine ways you can learn how to let go of the past for good and move forward with your life. Letting go of the past is one of the toughest challenges most of us face at one point or another. Sometimes we hold on to relationships that are long gone. We miss our loved ones who have passed away and cannot accept the fact that they are now our past. Other times, we might cling to our previous successes and fail to see that we are no longer at the top of our game. Very often, we cannot let go of grudges and past hurts. If you once had a dream, an ambition, a plan that now does not seem to be realistic, you know how hard it is to let it go. However, holding on to the past — be it bad or good — makes you unable to live in the now. It limits your possibilities for growth and transformation. So, how can you let go of the past — and why should you? Why can we not let go of the past? You’ve probably had your share of letting go of the past. We are inevitably exposed to losses as time and events pass. We do not want to — and often do not know how to — let go of the past. Yet, the reality of living forces us to. Among all the material and immaterial things I had to let go of, I found the hardest thing to give up was my past Self. When I was 28, I made a surgically-precise cut from my life (for the wrong reason). I simply removed myself from absolutely everything that once comprised my existence; I sold my apartment and all my stuff, moved to another country, cut ties with all my friends, quit my hobbies, abandoned ambitions and interests, changed my habits. I bestowed my thoughts and memories to a person who crudely distorted them and imposed a foreign perspective into my mind. Long story short, seven years later, I have found that I cannot get all that back. Little of my old life could be restored for one reason or another. Most importantly, I have changed. And I have realised that I painfully miss some parts of my old Self. Letting go of the past is necessary to advance After that realisation, I spent another year sorely yearning to feel like I once used to. I felt that letting go of the past at that point would mean that I had forsaken any chance of feeling like myself again. What I experienced is backed up by scientific findings. Research confirms that we tend to hold on to things because they feel like parts of our identities. If we let them go, we might lose ourselves. I know I have feared this option often. In a series of experiments back in 1990, Baumgardner, a known psychologist, revealed that the more we know ourselves, the more we like ourselves. So, maybe you know yourself as a person who is in a relationship with a certain person. Or, you might define yourself as someone who has ‘that’ specific job — even if you hate it. Then, if you let go of those things, who will you be, who are you? And will you like yourself? In other words, no matter how horrible an experience we may be living, it is something we know about ourselves. For this reason, we usually do not know how to let go of the past. Indeed, we are wired to cling. It feels familiar. It feels safe. Humans need certainty, and much of our institutions, tradition, religion and interaction revolves around this need. This is why the art of letting go is so difficult to master. How to let go of the past: nine tips When you decide it is time to refresh your mind and embrace letting go of the past, you might find yourself short of skills to do so. Where to begin? How to let go effectively? Here are nine tips to help you master letting go of the past and making it your new life philosophy. 1. Journal or talk to someone Sometimes we are too much in our heads to be able to let go. I have often found that things I hold on to remain powerful because I keep them in my mind in some intangible form. As soon as I talk about them or write them down, they begin to lose the control they have over me. RELATED: Journaling techniques – travels to our interior When we try to give our emotions enough structure to be communicated or written down, we start analysing them using higher cognitive processes. We take them out of a purely affective area. Often this is enough to help you see the clearer picture and recognise that you are ready to release the past and move on. 2. Abandon the need to be the rightful hero When we get hurt by someone (or wronged by life’s unfairness), we might ruminate about it for months, years even. And when we mull over the insult repeatedly, we strengthen its effect on us. It becomes more important — a part of who we are. We put the hurt at the centre of our experience. As a result, we expose ourselves to the risk of becoming depressed, as brain imaging studies have determined. “We are wired to cling. It feels familiar. It feels safe. Humans need certainty. This is why the art of letting go is so difficult to master.” Therefore, letting go of the past means stopping the efforts at being the hero, the rightful one. Yes, you were mistreated. Make peace with it and move on. 3. Do not let others define you We sometimes do not know how to let go of the past because we feel that others did something to us. So, we expect others to fix it, too. However, the art of letting go is, at the same time, the art of regaining control. You can choose how you react, no matter what others do and what happens to you. You decide when it is enough and when you will move on. 4. Become an optimist Research has found that humans are more inclined to attend to, learn from, and use negative information far more than positive. Furthermore, the more we focus on something, the more it becomes our habit of thinking and seeing it in ourselves. Stay optimistic for the future shutterstock/asife So, it follows that it's more beneficial to develop an optimistic outlook. Use the Pygmalion effect and start creating an appealing future for yourself. It will make letting go of the past much easier, because you will have something better to move towards. 5. Forgive yourself One of the hardest obstacles when letting go of the past is forgiving yourself. Even when you manage to release grudges against others, a residual self-blame might stop you from truly moving on. So, you made a mistake — picked the unsuitable person as a spouse, chose an unfulfilling career, misjudged situations and took the wrong path. That is all right — we all err. Accept it and move on. Because the one mistake you are making right now is not letting go of the past. And that is one thing you can change right now. 6. Build the capacity to be present Practising mindfulness, or being present in the moment, is a vital skill, especially when it comes to releasing the past. However, at the same time it is one idea many of us find difficult to build. That's because lots of people are focused either on the past or the future. RELATED: Mindful behavior – 13 practical mindfulness tools Build your ability to be mindfully present in the now. With time and practice, your mind will acquire the habit of recognising where (and when) your life truly occurs and the past will stay where it belongs. 7. Create distance from the past Letting go of the past might seem impossible simply because you remain too closely involved with its reminders. My father used to compare similar situations to having your hand stuck in a meat grinder while all you do is take painkillers; until you remove your hand out of what is causing the pain, you are not really doing anything to solve the problem! Therefore, whenever possible, consider ways to create a psychological or physical distance from the past events, relationships or situations you need to let go of. Perhaps you need to move away from an area to avoid a past lover or estranged family member. Or maybe stop going to that bar you used to love hanging out in with your (ex) best friend. Not being taken back to that place all the time will help you let go of the past. Create distance from your past and move on shutterstock/24Novembers 8. Recognise that letting go of the past means growth When I was having a hard time letting go of the past, it was because I feared losing myself. I practically deleted my life and lived that way for years. After I was done with that, understandably so, I had a strong need to get my old Self back. “Letting go of the past might seem impossible because you remain too closely involved with its reminders. Consider ways to create a psychological or physical distance from the past events, relationships or situations you need to let go of.” However, after some time, I realised: my old Self had disappeared. And this is all right. Some parts did survive and resurfaced after I recovered. They make up my psychological core. Others are forever gone. Still, I ought not to mourn them forever. Nothing ever stays the same — nor do we. So, instead of sticking to the past and grieving, embrace change as growth. Take your experiences and transform them into something greater than who you were before. 9. Create empowering rituals When you are learning how to let go of the past, creating empowering, healthy rituals can help you. Engage in self-care. Eat healthily, sleep well, exercise, read, meditate. Love and praise yourself. By doing so, you are building your confidence and a sense of being deserving of good things coming your way. You will start living mindfully and looking forward to the future with confidence and curiosity — instead of being stuck in past experiences. Letting go of the past to embrace the future Learning how to let go of the past is not an easy task. Prepare to be challenged every time you face the necessity to do so. Indeed, your inborn psychological make-up will probably strongly oppose letting go of the past. That's because we like to hold on to things, experiences, and people — even when they are undoubtedly bad for us. However, when you manage to rewire your mind and learn to surrender the past when the time comes to do so, you learn to live life to the fullest. How? By opening yourself up to the opportunities. To what comes next. To growth. So, start today. What have you been latching onto that needs to be set free? • Main image: shutterstock/Song_about_summer happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Authenticity | Courage | Resilience Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

In the new year many of us resolve to break bad habits and replace them with healthy ones. However, we often relapse quickly back into our old behaviour. Arlo Laibowitz explains how you can change this cycle, maintaining those healthy habits for longer and staying happier. Quitting smoking. Keeping a gratitude journal. Developing a mindfulness practice. Whether we want to break certain bad habits or create newer, healthy ones, the process can be complicated. Indeed, most of us have made resolutions to break bad habits in the past only to fall back into old patterns. So, how do we change this cycle? How do habits work? And what are the elements needed to break bad habits and create healthier ones? Well, popular belief has it that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. However, a study from University College London has shown that, in fact, it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days, depending on the complexity of the habit. Check out our video below for an explanation on how to break and create habits and continue reading the article for more tips. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } Learn how to create healthy habits... and break destructive ones How are habits formed exactly? Habits are formed by the so-called 'habit loop'. The habit loop consists of: The Reminder (the trigger of the behavior). The Routine (the behaviour itself). The Reward (the benefit of the behaviour). So, to develop a healthy habit, do the following: Identify the routine around the habit. Isolate the cue or reminder that triggers the behaviour. Create behaviour chains and choose a (new) reminder. Create two lists; things you do every day, and things that happen to you each day. These lists will show you where and how to insert a new habit, in an “if-then” plan. Eliminate excessive options. Identify aspects of your life that you consider not that important, and then routinize those aspects, so that you have mental energy left to work on your habits. Choose a healthy habit that's easy to start with. Big changes in life happen as a product of daily habits, not the other way around. RELATED: Happy habits – 12 ways to boost joy daily Experiment with rewards. Create success and positive feedback loops when accomplishing your growing healthy habit for that day. Develop healthier habits with these nine steps shutterstock/becarra Make micro quotas and macro goals. Balance your desire-to-dream-big-goals with your day-to-day activities and possible quotas to get to your goals. When monitoring your habit, consider using tracking apps, or using a simple “yes-no-chart” that tracks how many days you have engaged in the healthy habit. Make a solid plan on how to break bad habits or create healthy ones and how to monitor them. Visualise the process instead of the outcome. Eliminate the “what the hell efect” or “ah-screw-its”. Find where things are susceptible to break down, and consider including an “if-then” plan to mitigate these moments. Studies have shown that certain healthy habits like making your bed, exercising, or keeping a journal, can keystone other habits. So, recognize a keystone habit that works for you, and use it to develop other healthy habits. Avoid falling back into bad habits To avoid falling back into our bad habits, or not succeeding in creating new, healthier ones, it's essential to recognise and counteract loopholes, like false choice loopholes, tomorrow loopholes, this-doesn’t count loopholes, fake self-actualisation loopholes, or one-time loopholes. “Choose a healthy habit that's easy to start with. Big changes in life happen as a product of daily habits, not the other way around.” Recognize these kinds of loopholes and counter them with “if-then” plans to strengthen your automaticity. Ultimately, breaking or creating habits help us in living the life we want to live. As author Gretchen Rubin put it, habits are “the invisible architecture of every life and a significant element of happiness.” Whether it's gratitude, mindfulness, connection, forgiveness, compassion, or any other happiness practice you seek to work on, the key is to form and sustain healthy habits. So, why not start with one today? ● What are the bad habits you want to break and what healthy ones do you want to replace them with? And how have you managed to break any bad habits successfully? Share your ideas with the happiness.com community below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ read our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Goal setting | Happiness | Healthy habits Written by Arlo Laibowitz Arlo is a filmmaker, artist, lecturer, and intermittent practitioner of metta meditation and morning yoga. When not dreaming about impossible projects and making them happen in the most impractical ways possible, he journals, listens to jazz, or cuddles with his better half.

Science says that being nicer can boost our physical health as well as psychological well-being. Sonia Vadlamani offers nine suggestions on how to be a nicer person by incorporating more compassion, politeness and kindness into our daily lives. The idea of purposefully trying to be nicer could make some of us cringe, as sometimes we may confuse ‘being nice’ with pretending to be polite or feigning interest for the sake of seeming acceptable. This ‘induced niceness’ may, in fact, get quite burdensome very quickly, as it requires additional effort on one’s behalf to seem something they’re not feeling genuinely. However, in reality, nicer people are easier to be around, as they’re genuinely interested in what you think and do. Being nice translates into treating others as you may want to be treated, being empathic, anticipating and respecting others’ needs and feelings, and being kind. While it may be difficult to exactly define ‘niceness’, psychologists rely on the personality traits that we associate with it, like kindness, politeness, empathy, and thoughtfulness, etc. Researchers also point out that the major personality traits associated with ‘agreeableness’ such as kindness, compassion and politeness are also the aspects that we often consider as ‘being nice’. The benefits of being nice Being a nicer person entails prosocial behaviors such as extending kindness, sharing our happiness, respecting others’ vantage point on different issues, etc., which promote well-being and boost social connections. However, research suggests that being nice to others can benefit our mental health and boost longevity as well. Indulging in acts of kindness results in release of happiness hormones such as oxytocin, which can improve heart health, regulate blood pressure and foster a greater sense of inclusion, according to researcher James Doty, M.D. at Stanford University. How to be nicer: helping with shopping is one easy way Being nice by way of kindness may also alleviate stress and offer faster relief from pain, as research indicates. Furthermore, niceness can also lower anxiety and boost relationship satisfaction for socially anxious individuals. How to be nicer: 9 ideas Indeed, being nice may not always be the easier choice. However, with mindfulness and dedicated practice, it’s possible to learn how to be a friendlier person. Here are some simple ideas that can help us incorporate niceness into our daily life. 1. Have more patience A study by researcher Sarah A. Schnitker suggests that patient people are better friends and neighbours, as they tend to be more impartial, more attentive and have a higher tolerance. Developing mindfulness, or the ability to stay in sync with what is happening in the present moment, can also enable you to reframe a situation, reevaluate your emotions and respond with improved patience, according to research. Practising mindful listening and cultivating patience is therefore one of the surest ways to be a nicer person. 2. Be less judgmental Learning how to be a nicer person may not be the easiest feat, but experts agree that casting judgements aside and learning to transcend our perceived differences through bridging can help us respect other people’s perspectives and acknowledge their viewpoints in a better light. Engaging in deep listening and positive communication, taking care to avoid social media outrage trap, and a regular meditation practice are some of the research-backed ways to cultivate deep empathy and avoid snap judgments. 3. Open up and show vulnerability Sometimes we shun the opportunity to open up and share our feelings with others, owing to the fear of being judged or compared. Researcher Dr Brené Brown describes this feeling as a vulnerability hangover, wherein one may experience regret or ‘emotional cringe’ upon revealing their feelings or thoughts to others. While vulnerability is mistakenly regarded as a weakness, embracing it as an act of courage and developing shame resilience can help you learn how to be nicer. “Research suggests that being nice to others can benefit our mental health and boost longevity. Indulging in acts of kindness releases feel-good hormones.” "Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center of meaningful human experiences," explains Dr Brown. Being vulnerable enables us to develop radical empathy towards ourselves and others, thus opening us up to the possibility of making new friends and forming meaningful connections. 4. Look for ways to be helpful Reaching out and anticipating someone’s needs is an effective way to work towards being a nicer person. This can involve small gestures that do not cost a lot but can brighten someone’s day, like offering somebody your seat, or helping someone carry their groceries. Offering support or solicited advice to someone who may be feeling lost in life, dealing with depression, or struggling with grief or loneliness are some other ways to help out and show your friendly side. 5. Be polite and respectful Small gestures like being on time, saying “thank you”, being respectful online, or holding the elevator door open for strangers do not involve a lot of effort, but convey a positive tone and genuine interest on your behalf. However, take care to avoid the lure of lying to appear polite, as that would be a violation of trust. Instead, strive towards articulating your thoughts and convey your feelings in an open and honest manner, albeit respectfully. 6. Act with kindness The power of kindness is real, as we seldom forget an act of kindness bestowed on us, even as we may fail to recall other things. Nice people understand the ‘ripple effect’ that kindness creates, wherein the acts of benevolence inspire more people to extend the same kindness to others around them. You need not go out of your way every time to extend kindness. In fact, one can carry out random acts of kindness like running errands for an elderly neighbor or volunteering for a cause you genuinely care about. Don’t forget to choose kindness every day for yourself as well. After all, you can only truly learn how to be a nicer person through practising self-compassion and self-care. Helping out elderly neighbours is one way to be nicer 7. Practise forgiveness Forgiveness as a character strength can help you be a nicer person, in addition to improving overall well-being, as revealed by researcher Kathi L. Norman. Indeed, our inability to forgive can also result in trust issues and a tendency to self-sabotage relationships. Whether you’ve suffered a minor stumble or a major setback due to someone’s actions, words or thoughts, learning to forgive someone who caused you hurt and replacing these feelings with empathy, compassion and kindness can improve your mental and physical health, in addition to strengthening interpersonal relationships. “While vulnerability is mistakenly regarded as a weakness, embracing it as an act of courage can help you learn how to be nicer.” “Harboring unforgiveness breads negative thoughts,” says Catherine Jackson, a licensed clinical psychologist and neurotherapist. “Decide to let it go and make a plan to never go to bed angry,” she continues. Forgiving is a process and may not happen in a day but can surely improve our capacity for love and happiness. Setting your intention for forgiveness with a mantra like “I forgive you and release you” or “I forgive everyone for everything” can help you let go of the hurt amassed over time. 8. Share your happiness Happiness is contagious, as proven by research. An evaluation study conducted on 4,739 individuals revealed that our happiness is also determined by the happiness levels of others around us. Sharing our happiness can boost our mood and improve morale, in addition to encouraging fulfilling friendships. It is easier to be a nicer person when you have a positive outlook on life and when you understand that happiness is a choice that you can consciously make each day. 9. Be authentic Authenticity is a valued trait, especially in the current tech-obsessed era where we’re constantly being overwhelmed with the messages of how we ‘ought to’ appear, behave and live in an ideal manner. Cultivating your authentic self by honoring your core values and making your time matter can help you be a nicer person. Being authentic also enables us to treat others the way we want to be treated. Also, embracing our true selves allows us to act gracefully even in the face of criticism or adversity, as we realize our worth fully well. The takeaway: how to be nicer Being a nicer person does not mean encouraging a forcible semblance of it or appearing nice. Niceness also doesn’t require you to tolerate behavior that violates your core values or suppress your true feelings for the sake of seeming kind. On the contrary, people who are genuinely nice enjoy being authentic and showing empathy and compassion towards others. Genuine niceness nurtures a circular relationship with happiness. Being a nicer person can boost our mood and improve well-being, but research also demonstrates that an upbeat state of mind can further enhance our prosocial behavior and help us be nicer and kinder. Indeed, inculcating niceness as a habit is immensely rewarding. • Main image: shutterstock/DGLimages happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Altruism | Compassion | Happiness Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Not every news story to hit the headlines in October could be said to be full of happiness – far from it. However, in an uncertain world, there were plenty of feel-good news items that broke into the public domain. Ed Gould shares his Top Ten from the month. There were many stories of hope and happiness in October. Read on to discover some of the more optimistic news items which did not necessarily always get the attention they deserved. 1. New pizza box uses less material Pizza deliveries may bring happiness to many of us (!) but we sometimes feel guilty when we consider the large amount of packaging needed to get them to our door. However, according to CNN, Pizza Hut has developed a new system. The pizza giant has said it plans to launch a round box which uses less material than conventional, square ones. What's more, the pizza franchise company reckons it will be possible to compost this new delivery system. 2. New enzyme helps recycle multiple plastics One of the great challenges for recycling more is the fact that so many plastic items need to be sorted out in order to turn them into the raw materials for new products. Different types of plastic, such as polyethylene, will not always by recyclable if they're disposed of with other plastics. However, a microbiologist has found an enzyme which appears to break down all plastics in a similar way. The news, as reported by the Science Times, means that fewer processes should be needed in future to recycle a variety of plastics, thereby meaning less of it goes to landfill or – even worse – into the world's oceans. 3. Hugging is great for mental health You may have known it all along but hugging really is good for you – and a group of researchers believe they've proved it. In a study of over 400 individuals, people who hugged were shown to feel less negative responses throughout their entire day after they'd received one. People who had been hugged showed lower blood pressure as well as augmented levels of happiness hormone oxytocin. Interestingly, single people and those in partnerships were found to demonstrate the same sorts of responses within the study. Can you hug your way to happiness? 4. Artificial leaf developed, British chemists claim Academics at the University of Cambridge announced in October that they'd hit upon a way of turning carbon into oxygen in the same way that nature does, through leaves. The idea is to turn the artificial leaf into a means of generating carbon-neutral fuel. The 'leaf' is dipped into water and powered by nothing more than sunlight. It's hoped that it can be used to make syngas, a man-made gas that's a combination of carbon monoxide and hydrogen which is used widely in industry. It should make the industrial processes it's used for greener than they ever have been if the idea can be scaled up successfully. 5. Glasgow University to study mindfulness According to The Scotsman, Glasgow Caledonian University will run a nine-week study into mindfulness that aims to find out how it can affect moods. The research programme, known as Heads:Up, will focus on various mindfulness techniques which include meditation, the ability to visualise and physical activities insofar as they impact on mood disorders. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged Dr Maggie Lawrence said that her programme was based on the teaching of Jon Kabat-Zinn's mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) techniques. In particular, Dr Lawrence wants to examine how MBSR can be used to alleviate moods following certain health disorders, such as stroke, for example. 6. Songbird no longer endangered thanks to conservationists The happiness songbirds bring people is well documented, but more and more species are threatened. However, thanks to a five-decade-long effort by conservationists in the United States, the wonderful Kirtland's warbler has moved off the officially endangered list, according to Science. It's hoped the work done in Michigan to protect it will be rolled out elsewhere for other bird species. Kirtland's warbler Jeol Trick/WikimediaCommons 7. Robots to learn about empathy In an effort to make robots more able to care for geriatrics, a scheme to teach them empathy has been announced, according to Health Europa. The idea breaks new ground because empathy has long been considered to be a human trait that even most animals do not possess. That said, machine-learning techniques have become so advanced in recent years that the idea of an algorithm for empathy is now not considered to be beyond the capabilities of robots. It's hoped the idea will be developed for rollout in elderly care homes. 8. Denmark opens power plant with a difference CopenHill has been billed as the cleanest energy plant in the world. Located on an industrial waterfront, it's designed to make electrical power from nothing more that waste that's been collected from around the country. In fact, the plant's owners claim that it will be capable of turning 400,000 tonnes of rubbish into clean energy each year. And yet, what makes it even more remarkable is that its newly unveiled sloped roof has been turned into a climbing wall, a ski run and a series of hiking trails! 9. Drinking water may bring greater happiness In a report published in the New York Post, people report that they feel happier if they drink water regularly. Research has been conducted with 2,000 people being asked about their well-being and their water consumption. Over two-thirds of people who said they were very happy in their life also claimed to drink more than enough water. However, only around 20 per cent of people very happy people thought they didn't drink enough. Could more water equal more happiness? shuttertsock/Elena Nichizhenova 10. Could a headset cure depression? According to TNW, a headset is being offered to people living with clinical depression in an effort to alleviate their symptoms. Made by a company called Flow Neuroscience, it stimulates the brain with electrical signals meaning it's an alternative to taking traditional remedies, such as drugs. Ten clinics in the UK are trialling the unit. It's hoped similar results to conventional drug treatments will be achieved but with fewer side-effects. Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

For some of us, developing a meaningful life can be hard. But from helping others to finding a sense of purpose, these ten scientifically-backed tips from Ed Gould can help you discover how to live a meaningful life and find greater happiness. A meaningful life is something of a subjective matter, you might well think. What is meaningful to one person may, of course, have little meaning for another. However, there are certain aspects of fulfillment and happiness that all of us can ascribe meaning to. As such, there have been a number of scientific studies that have been carried out around the world that have delved into the subject. If you want to know what research programmes and studies have to offer in the search for a meaningful life, then read on. You may be surprised at just how many insights science has to offer on the subject. 1. Listening to music can make you kinder Music has long been understood to be a form of communication that gets into our souls like no other. And, according to research from Frankfurt's Goethe University, it can even help us to become more helpful and show more kindness to others. So, how does this relate to living a meaningful life? Well, science has previously shown that being kind to others brings about long-lasting well-being and happiness in humans, increasing purpose. Indeed, even ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle wrote that finding happiness and fulfillment is achieved “by loving rather than in being loved.” Furthermore, the results from the German 2016 study show that integrating listening to music into a daily routine can improve cognition, especially where creative tasks are concerned. What's more, the greater the level of joy was conveyed in the music, the more the effect of it was noticed. Sound advice: music makes you more creative and kinder 2. Helping others helps ourselves Here is further evidence that a meaningful life spent caring for and helping others can be of benefit to us. A 2016 paper published by researchers at Columbia University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology discovered that people who offer care and assistance to others will be better equipped to deal with their own problems. Researchers carried out a three-week study of an online platform that provides training and practice in the social regulation of emotion. Their results suggested that our mood changes when we help others, leading to a greater sense of worth that can assist with coping strategies for life's daily struggles. Moreover, the study showed that participants who engaged more by helping others showed greater decreases in depression, mediated by increased use of reappraisal in daily life. 3. You can make your workplace a more positive place Although work may feel like it's not something we have much control over, scientists have shown that acting in a kind way at work can, in fact, lead to a shift in behaviour among colleagues. A study from the University of California – co-anchored by happiness expert Sonja Lyubomirsky – demonstrated that kind behaviour was both beneficial and contagious in the workplace. The 2017 study, published in the journal Emotion, focused on a workplace in Spain. It examined the effects of practising, receiving and observing everyday prosociality — activity that benefits others. Just over 100 employees were randomly assigned to be givers, receivers or controls. “The question of how to living a meaningful life has puzzled generations for centuries. Science shows that discovering meaning and fulfillment is a key ingredient in living a happy life.” Over a period of four weeks the givers practised five acts of kindness for a set list of receivers. The study showed that both receivers and givers mutually benefited from boosted well-being in both the short-term and the long-term. In fact, receivers became happier after two months, while givers became less depressed and more satisfied with their lives and jobs. Furthermore, the kind acts inspired of givers also encouraged colleagues to act: receivers paid their acts of kindness forward with almost 300 per cent more prosocial behaviors compared to the control colleagues. 4. Find a sense of purpose, no matter your age There have been several scientific studies into the role a sense of purpose has in developing a meaningful life. One 2016 study entitled Purpose in life and cognitive functioning in adulthood from Carleton University, Canada and West Virginia University, USA, found that older people were just as likely to need a self-defined purpose in their lives in order to combat a number of issues, such as cognitive impairment. Essentially, true sense of purpose can reduce the risks of conditions like dementia in older people. RELATED: How to find your ikigai 5. Mindfulness leads to better parenting For some, it's their role as a parent that shows them how to live a meaningful life. And although there are many ways to try and bring up happy children, science has shown that mindfulness leads to improved parenting techniques. According to a study undertaken by the University of Vermont, parents who practise mindfulness are generally more positive and suffer less anxiety in their interactions with their children. We're not kidding: parenting can bring meaning to life 6. General health isn't only controlled by genes Although certain health conditions are caused by genes and we may feel there is little control we have over them as individuals, scientists are now suggesting we can alter things ourselves. Certain genes have been associated with negative mindsets, for example, but meditation can alter them – or at least their effect. Researchers at the University of Wisconsin and other European institutions found that genes that cause bodily problems when we feel stressed are more likely to be suppressed in people who meditate. Discover which type of meditation may suit you best. 7. Time is more important than money All that focus on your bank balance and earning more can improve your material wealth, but does it have anything to say about leading a more meaningful life? Well, according to a scientific paper published in 2016, people who value their time over money are simply happier. Ultimately, science has revealed that our time is the most valuable resource we have when people respond honestly to questions about their lifestyles. “Our mood changes when we help others, leading to a greater sense of worth that can assist with coping strategies for life's daily struggles.” Sometimes you can use money to help you buy more time, for example, hiring a cleaner if you don't want to tackle the house chores, or a babysitter if you and your partner need some quality time together. This is one example in how you can live a meaningful life by using money in a different way. RELATED: Money can't buy you happiness (except when you spend it like this!) 8. A happy life and a meaningful one may be different We may assume that living a meaningful life will automatically lead to greater happiness, but science has shown that, in fact, the two are not intrinsically linked. Put another way, being happy does not necessarily lead to a greater sense of meaning in your life. The question of how to living a meaningful life has puzzled generations for centuries. Science shows that discovering meaning and fulfillment is a key ingredient in living a happy life According to The Journal of Positive Psychology, there is a correlation between a meaningful life and a happy one, but the two concepts diverge. The pursuit of happiness for its own sake – through hedonism, for example – may not be all its cracked up to be, and will not set you on the path to a meaningful life. 9. Altruism is good for you You might not intend to derive benefit from an act of altruism or kindness, but scientific research suggests that you will. According to a large study which drew data from around 200,000 people in 136 countries, giving to others, for example, in the form of charitable donations, makes people feel happier about themselves. RELATED: The power of kindness The researchers called this pro-social spending and suggested that it has a universal psychological impact no matter which culture was being examined. The work theorised that altruism may, in fact, be a product of evolutionary development among humans who derive longer term benefits from concepts like giving and sharing as a whole. A helping hand: aiding others can benefit yourself too 10. Put your phone down and interact We've all been in the company of someone who cannot put their phone down and won't look you in the eye. And now science suggests this practice has a real detrimental effect on social interactions in the here and now. In fact, it can even lead to friendships and relationships breaking down because of the social exclusion that is felt. Social media may be fine in its proper place, but the latest research suggests access to it should be limited in face-to-face social contexts. Mindful listening is essential if you want to give your full attention to others when you are having a conversation and it makes the other person know you are interested and care. This type of deep listening is an exercise in empathy and self-awareness that can improve the quality and depth of our relationships, therefore helping to boost meaning in our lives. The takeaway: how to live a meaningful life The question of how to living a meaningful life has puzzled generations for centuries. Science shows that discovering meaning and fulfillment is a key ingredient in living a happy life. And finding meaning in life seems to be done by doing what you love, helping others through altruism, and staying mindful at all times. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Self care | Gratitude | Loneliness | Random acts of kindness Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

When you're feeling lonely it can be easy to sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Instead, try one of these 11 ideas from Calvin Holbrook to relieve the pain of loneliness and isolation. Loneliness sucks. I've been there and maybe you have too: stuck alone at home wishing you were out having fun with friends. Instead, for whatever reason, you're inside feeling lonely and wondering how and why you ended up in that position. However, feeling lonely isn't your fault and can often be a result of life circumstances: perhaps you've just moved to a new town/city and are struggling to make new friends. Maybe you've just come out of a relationship – or all your friends are suddenly getting into relationships. Or perhaps you've been struggling with depression or anxiety and can't face seeing your social network right now. Whatever the reason, science says that feeling alone for long periods of time is bad for your mental – and physical – health. In fact, studies show that a lack of social connections could be as harmful to our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. The same research suggests that loneliness increases the likelihood of mortality by a staggering 26 per cent. So, friendships can be powerful tools for staying well and healthy. But not all of us have a large circle of buddies. In the UK, 1.9 million older people often feel ignored or invisible. But contrary to popular opinion, it's not just the elderly that have feelings of loneliness: over 40 per cent of Britons say the TV or a pet is their main source of company. Similarly, in the US, nearly half of all Americans claim to feel lonely. Indeed, social isolation can touch us at any age, and can be affected by our personality, motivation and physical location. Feeling lonely? Here's what you can do Developed countries are clearly going through a loneliness epidemic. So, what can you do if you are one of those affected? Well, there are plenty of ways you can make new friends as an adult, such as joining social groups or developing bonds with colleagues, but if you're feeling lonely at home right now and are seeking ways to cope with negative feelings, here are 11 practical ideas to help you feel better and combat the pain of loneliness. 1. Welcome an old friend: loneliness First of all, even though it may not be welcome, treat loneliness as an old friend that’s just popped by for a visit. That's because resisting loneliness only makes it worse, so accept how you feel in this moment. Do not blame yourself. Instead of fighting against lonely feelings, accept these painful emotions into your heart with self-compassion and it will help ease the pain a little. Accept your loneliness and make friends with it. 2. Get creative If you're feeling lonely it can be easy to start ruminating over how you’re in that position and whether you could have done things differently to avoid it. Getting creative is a simple and fun way to take your mind off of your thoughts and engaged in something more productive. You could try mandala coloring, making a collage out of magazines, drawing, or writing, for example. Being creative will keep your mind busy and provide you with a sense of satisfaction and achievement. Colour your life when you're feeling lonely © shutterstock/Serhii Krot 3. Write a gratitude journal Accept your feelings of loneliness and instead of dwelling on them, shift your consciousness to all the great things in your life that you're grateful for. Take ten minutes to write everything down in a gratitude journal. Journals help us to know ourselves better by clarifying our thoughts, emotions and feelings. In fact, a 2015 study published in Europe’s Journal of Psychology suggested that practising gratitude may help decrease feelings of loneliness, and, in turn, possibly improve our health, well-being and happiness. 4. Give your brain a puzzle Use your alone time positively to boost your brainpower by doing a jigsaw or crossword. When solving a jigsaw, we must look at different pieces to figure out where they fit within the larger picture. Doing this improves our visual-spatial reasoning. As well as helping to relieve loneliness, studies show that doing puzzles can help delay the symptoms of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Completing a jigsaw also reduces stress by occupying and engaging the mind to create a sense of calm. As a puzzle is pieced together, external worries and stress decrease as the mind focuses on a task that is both meditative and satisfying. “Whatever the reason, science says that feeling alone for long periods of time is bad for your mental – and physical – health.” 5. Get out of the house Unless you’re keeping occupied with some of the loneliness-busting tips above, staying inside alone will only mean you concentrate more on those feelings of isolation. Simply going outside for a walk outside changes your environment and thoughts. Take a stroll and practise mindfulness, taking in all that is around you: the smells, sounds and sights. Or, try something cultural: pop to an exhibition or treat yourself to a film and get engrossed in something other than loneliness: see it as a personal date night! Alternatively, if you have green space nearby, have a walk in a park or do some forest bathing – the benefits of connecting with nature are proven by science. If you're feeling alone, take a mindful walk in nature 6. Get active Doing physical exercise is a great way to take your mind off your situation if your feelings of loneliness are taking over. Instead of mulling over things inside, head outside for a jog or run and boost your happiness hormones. Better still, head to the gym and try a new group class – you're more likely to strike up a conversation with someone. And if you do find yourself chatting with someone new and hit it off, don’t be afraid to ask for their number or ask them to go for a coffee together. You never know; they may be feeling just as lonely as you. 7. Sing out loud Singing is another proven way to fight the feeling of being alone, so blast out some of your favourite tracks and get those vocal chords warmed up. In fact, singing is a natural anti-depressant as it’s known to release mood-boosting endorphins. It's also been shown to boost our immune system, reduce stress levels and, according to a report published in the Journal of Music Therapy in 2004, help patients cope with chronic pain. Joining a choir is a great way to reap the benefits of singing and combat feelings of loneliness as you meet many new people at once. The Community of Voices research study (2012–2018) found that singing in a community choir for six months reduced the participants’ feelings of loneliness and also increased their interest in life. Singing in a choir can combat loneliness © shutterstock/Monkey Business Images 8. Share your skills with others Getting involved as a volunteer is a fantastic practical way to reduce feelings of loneliness. Volunteering for at least two hours a week may go a long way toward helping to ease feelings of loneliness and isolation, according to research published in Journals of Gerontology: Social Sciences. Volunteering almost always involves interacting with others, hence helping to build social connections and reduce isolation. In fact, the benefits of volunteering are many. If you're feeling alone, think about possible volunteering ideas and start researching what you can do in your local community. RELATED: Why is volunteering important? 9. Check in with yourself It’s OK to feel alone sometimes. Remind yourself that life isn't always fun and games and that there are plenty of ups and downs. Indeed, your circumstances will not always be the same and nothing last for ever – good or bad. Try to be patient with your loneliness, and with time and effort, it will ease. Remember that tomorrow is a new day when you can consider working on alleviating your loneliness and making new friends – if you're ready. 10. Consider getting a pet If you have the space and time, think about welcoming a pet into your home. The companionship that a pet offers is scientifically-proven to reduce loneliness, anxiety and stress, whether it’s a cat, bird, gerbil or iguana. However, dogs are the clear winners when it come to loneliness-busting pets: they force you to get out of the house and connect with other dog-loving humans. The healing power of pets is real. Animals, especially dogs, help to relieve loneliness 11. Use compassionate visualization As I wrote at the start of this article, perhaps you're feeling lonely while other friends are having fun while you're left alone. You could even feel jealous and envious of these people who are sharing good times together and seemingly not living with loneliness. Perhaps you weren't invited to a party or group holiday and feel upset about it. However, instead of carrying negative thoughts about those involved, show compassion. Try to visualize them at whatever event it may be and feel happy for them regardless. Feeling happy for others despite your sorrow can be healing and actually make you feel happier too. ● Main image: shutterstock/Antonio Guillem How do you deal with feeling of loneliness? Do you have any other ideas to add to the list? I'd love to read your suggestions below! Head over to the Forum to share more ideas on combating loneliness. Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, as well being an artist and travel lover. He also enjoys hiking, nature, swimming, yoga, sweaty dancing, and all things vintage!

While thinking about past actions can sometimes help you move forward in life, thinking too much can have the opposite effect and lead to depression and anxiety. Dee Marques shares nine steps to take that will show you how to stop overthinking and enjoy your life in the present. As humans, we have the extraordinary ability to constantly reflect on our actions. There’s much to be learned from our decisions, so it can be useful to go over past situations to find the lesson in them. And when it comes to the future, anticipating what’s to come and making plans can also be useful. Doing this can help us grow and be more successful, but it’s also easy to end up overdoing this type of analysis. In fact, overthinking can have precisely the opposite effect, leading to constant worry and a feeling of being stuck or unproductive. If this is the case then you'll need some ideas on how to stop overthinking everything. Overthinking can become a self-destructive behaviour with negative effects on our mental health. Overthinking can become chronic and is the kind of toxic habit that may end up leading to other problems, such as anxiety and depression. • JOIN US! Need support? Sign-up and belong to a community that cares • Because having control over our thought patterns is critical to our well-being, it's important to learn how to avoid the overthinking trap. In this article you'll find a list of practical suggestions on how to stop overthinking and making your overall thought processes more positive. What is overthinking? If we’re to learn how to stop overthinking, learning to identify that we are doing it is essential. As I've outlined above, overthinking usually has two aspects: one is rumination (going over past events) and the other one entails worrying about the future and dwelling on worst possible scenarios. RELATED: Remember – you are not your thoughts In both cases, we almost always focus on the negative aspects of an experience, and also on those aspects that cannot be changed. Common scenarios for people who tend to overthink include worrying about falling ill, losing their job, or not knowing what they want to do with their life. Going over the past and “should have” scenarios are also typical, for example, “I should have said that”, or “I should have done this”. These are common thoughts when reflecting on a relationship that may have ended, a job you may have quit, or the way you handled a friendship that ended badly. Pause for thought: overthinking can lead to anxiety Overthinking is related to anxiety because the focus is often on things we can’t change (such as what has already happened or unknowns in the future). This thought pattern can easily create feelings of powerlessness, which, in turn, generate high anxiety levels. Indeed, overthinking is characterised by a snowball effect that leaves us feeling overwhelmed, helpless and distressed. And as it happens with other harmful thought patterns, it can take over our life, interfere with everyday functioning, and make us lose control over our thoughts. Other dangers of overthinking include mental health issues, increased chances of developing depression, and impaired problem-solving abilities. This happens because overthinkers are under the false belief that they’re working on a problem, when in fact, overthinking actually keeps them from solving the problem. Later, overthinkers realise they can’t find a solution and this creates even more anxiety. “Because having control over our thought patterns is critical to our well-being, it's important to learn how to stop overthinking.” Overthinking is also linked to sleep issues, as people who struggle to stop thinking fail to switch off and can't sleep because of intrusive thoughts. Furthermore, lack of sleep is also connected to depressive symptoms and poor concentration during the day. And there are physical symptoms too, like headaches, muscle aches, digestive issues and fatigue. Moreover, overthinking has even been linked to binge eating or drinking and self-harm. RELATED: 14 sleep hacks to get a good night's rest Despite the dangers of thinking too much, the number of people affected is substantial enough to take it seriously for us to really learn some techniques on how to stop overthinking. One US study called it a national epidemic, and bestseller books have been written about the subject, suggesting women are more prone to overthink. The female to male ratio of overthinkers is 57-43 per cent, and those aged between 25 and 33 seem more vulnerable too. What causes overthinking? Before we move on to how to stop overthinking, it’s important to understand the mechanism behind this problem. Scientists believe it activates parts of the brain involved in fear or anxious responses. Overthinking begins in the cortex, where memories and future events are processed. As we dwell on things, obsessive thoughts engage the amygdala, the seat of emotional responses. Once the amygdala starts working, it triggers physical responses like a higher heart rate, muscle tension, and feeling paralysed by the negative thought. It’s worth noting that overthinking starts with a good intention, usually problem solving or protecting ourselves, but more often than not, it takes us to a dead end and develops into anxiety. However, it’s possible to fight this habit and learn how to stop overthinking. How to stop overthinking in 9 steps If you struggle with overthinking, these nine tips could help you free your mind and live in the present moment more. 1. Find the trigger Overthinking is a habit, so there’ll be something that sends your brain into overthink mode. It could be at bedtime as you take stock of the day, or it could be asking yourself a “what if?” question, re-reading a journal, looking at family photos, etc. 2. Be aware of your response Recognise anxiety as it appears and ask yourself if this is in your head or how productive these thoughts are. Will this way of thinking help you see things in a new light or are you simply going over the same thing again and again? 3. Identify the positive intention We usually overthink because we want to protect ourselves, so think about what practical measures you need to take to achieve that. Learn how to stop overthinking can improve focus 4. Find useful distractions Telling yourself “you shouldn’t think about that” may have the opposite effect (the “don’t think of an elephant” effect). The more you try to suppress those thoughts, the more nagging they become. So, instead, try to divert attention and give your mind something else to focus on. This could be picking up a creative hobby that has a challenging element, working out, or calling a friend. 5. Dealing with 'what ifs' Train your mind to think 'what if' and create best-case scenarios. Inadvertently, you have trained your mind to think about the worse, so don’t doubt that you can also train it to do the opposite also. • JOIN US! Sign-up free to happiness.com and share your story and challenges • 6. Pay attention to what you consume The information that enters our minds can contribute to the snowball effect of overthinking. It’s important to read/hear positive and constructive information at the start and/or end of the day to counter an overthinking habit. 7. Reflection vs obsession As I said at the beginning of this piece, thinking about the past or future isn’t necessarily bad. But there’s a difference between reflecting and obsessing, and this is an important distinction if you want to learn how to stop overthinking. “Follow a body scan meditation script when going to bed to shift your awareness away from overthinking and into your bodily sensations.” One technique that can help is setting a time to reflect on things that matter to you and not letting your thoughts free rein. For example, tell yourself you can think about what's on your mind for 30 minutes between 17:00 and 17:30pm, but no more after that. You can even set an alarm if necessary so you know when to stop. 8. Relaxation techniques You can try controlled breathing exercises to help your brain slow down and shift your attention somewhere other than your worries. Alternatively, follow a body scan meditation script to shift your awareness away from overthinking and into your bodily sensations. This technique is particularly useful if you want to learn how to stop overthinking just before trying to get to sleep. 9. Live in the present Mindfulness techniques can help you focus on the present and make the most of it, bringing enjoyment instead of the anxiety triggered by overthinking. The takeaway: stop overthinking and live life If you’ve experienced the draining effect of rumination, know that it’s possible to break the cycle and learn how to stop overthinking. Finding triggers, becoming more aware of harmful thought processes, and developing strategies to distract and relax your mind can help you make the switch from passive to active thinking and take control of your thoughts. Don’t let anxiety and irrational negative thoughts interfere with your well-being. Put in practice the suggestions listed here on how to stop overthinking and you’ll realise that you can learn to cope with whatever life throws at you. • Main image: shutterstock/TeodorLazerev happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude | Mindfulness | Resilience | Letting Go Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

By improving your emotional and sexual intimacy with a partner, you can boost your overall happiness levels. So, from talking more to avoiding secrets, here are nine ways you can improve intimacy through better connection. Are you looking to increase your intimacy with a partner? Or have you ever wondered why more intimacy could improve your overall well-being? The reality is that if you feel good about yourself, then the rest will follow, and it's just as much about what we say and how we act towards our partners as it is about sex. Obviously, sex leads to excitement and gratification. But what's equally as important is the closeness afterwards; mindfulness and cuddling, that helps to improves intimacy and well-being. A tiring day can take its toll. Having your partner to talk to at the end of it is both rewarding and stress-reducing. There are many other factors which can help with feeling good and boosting intimacy; a spontaneous kiss or hug, for example. Being sympathetic towards your partner’s feelings by responding to their mood will improve mutual well-being and harmony. Outlined below are nine techniques you can try that will increase the intimate part of your relationship and, in turn, your overall happiness quota. Increasing intimacy: 9 tips 1. Talk openly with your partner According to The National Centre for Biotechnology Information, relationships, whether they are short- or long-term, will affect us in many ways. One factor to consider is the depth and quality of the partnership. The research from the Centre shows that both physical and mental health can be affected. Indeed, children from unhappy or broken homes will find it harder to give themselves totally to a loving relationship by increasing intimacy. This lack results in friction between partners. It's considered to be a difficult problem to overcome, but honesty is always best. Talk openly together: a sympathetic lover will understand and take their time to resolve issues. Talking openly is essential for an intimate relationship 2. Boost your passion levels There are many ways of increasing intimacy. Psychologist Robert J. Sternberg, quoted in an article by Susan K Perry Ph.D., discovered that, after carrying out a survey, physical intimacy was the most typical method. One of the reasons given was the lover's facial expressions: the closeness of giving oneself completely during lovemaking also helps to better well-being. Of course, sometimes it's enough just to be together, caressing and kissing. Just because this doesn't ultimately lead to intercourse, it's no less erotic or satisfying. RELATED: Want a happy sex life? Here are the 4 key secrets 3. Understand your emotions, and that of your partner According to UWire, it's important to understand your emotions so you can talk together about more complex feelings. Indeed, it's especially important for couples to have emotional intimacy as well as sexual intimacy, to find a greater bond, without stress, which improves well-being. Think about it: it's not always that both partners feel like making love at the same time, so compromise is one key to increasing intimacy. In fact, showing consideration and kindness will go a long way to improving and maintaining a relationship. If your partner is too tired, then a gentle massage with scented oils will arouse the senses and reduce stress. Perhaps they've had a bad day? Talk with your partner and try to understand their emotions to boost your mutual connection and improve intimacy levels. 4. Spend time together and do something different Happiness is an essential feature in both increasing intimacy and, of course, to make you feel happier. A research paper from the Harvard Medical School showed that by being grateful for life and everything it throws at us is the best way to see the goodness in ourselves. This gratitude, in turn, helps us to connect with others; to show them kindness and to understand their feelings better. “Showing consideration and kindness will go a long way to improving a relationship. Talk with your partner and try to understand their emotions to boost your mutual connection and improve intimacy levels.” Also, it improves health, the ability to deal with problems, and helps to develop strong relationships. And this applies not just to our partners, but to everyone. Many couples find that simply by doing things together, such as playing golf, tennis, travelling, being in nature, or simply walking the dog, can improve well-being which, in turn, can lead to increased intimacy. Indeed, don't get too used to the comfort zone of coming home after work, eating and watching Netflix together. While this shared time is enjoyable, getting out of your home and trying new activities will boost your connection further! 5. Tell each other your secrets Having secrets creates distrust, resulting in arguments, stress and, potentially, health problems. It's important to remember to listen and not to judge. When your partner tells you their secrets, they're doing it to unburden themselves as well as find understanding. Be mindful of just how difficult it is to talk about sensitive subjects. Listen carefully and be constructive with your questions and responses. This way many problems that have occurred can be resolved. Have fun by asking each other these ‘36 Questions That Lead to Love’ and get closer to each other while doing so. Remember: sharing your innermost thoughts and being able to compromise is crucial for mutual well-being. Sharing is caring: don't hide secrets Unsplash 6. Open up to increase mindfulness It's important not to try to change your partner, after all, this is the person that you fell in love with. You might find that you wouldn’t like them any other way! Be non-judgmental, kind, and sensitive to their feelings at all times. This will bring you closer together, thus increasing intimacy. By being open with each other, you will learn to sense when something is troubling them. RELATED: What is Intimacy Anorexia? Also, avoid confrontational moments by simply asking how they are feeling. This sort of relationship will improve well-being and harmonious coexistence. Each person will feel that they can be themselves. The same should hold true in the bedroom. Exchange ideas about what you both enjoy. This type of mindfulness will go a long way towards increasing intimacy and openness. 7. Think about getting a pet Sometimes opposites attract. How we interact together in a partnership depends very much on each individual and their need for personal space. This understanding also explains why some people transfer their affections to, for example, dogs. A 1997 study, 'Why Do People Love Their Pets?’ by J Archer, showed that people can sometimes give their pets far more affection than they do family members. “It's especially important for couples to have emotional intimacy as well as sexual intimacy, to find a greater bond, without stress, which improves well-being.” Pets are also beneficial to our health. For example, the act of stroking can lower blood pressure, reduce loneliness and give you a sense of being. Going for a walk with your dog is another example. Good exercise aside; it allows us to interact with otherwise complete strangers, brought together by a love of animals. RELATED: The healing power of pets – 6 key health benefits 8. Consider having more routine Some of us think that predictability is boring, while others relish it. However, Robert J. Sternberg, a Professor of Human Development at Cornell University, found that it can actually help in increasing intimacy. His quote in Susan K Perry PhD's article, states that: 'the partners are so connected with each other that the one doesn't recognize the other is there, just as the air we breathe can be taken for granted, despite its necessity to life'. Over time, we can become complacent about our partners' good and bad points. Often we know each other so well, we can live our lives together in complete harmony. However, getting into a rut should be avoided. Sending quality time boosts intimacy shutterstock/Syda Prodcutions 9. Happiness and kindness are of major importance By giving to others, we're far more likely to receive the same back. For example, a child brought up in a loving family environment where hugging and kissing are the norm is more likely to grow into an adult that's willing and happy to show affection. Mary Jo Kreitzer, PhD, states that all relationships, casual or intimate, are essential to our feeling of happiness. This, in turn, helps children to grow into open-minded, confident individuals. Bean Robinson, PhD, in the same article, states that: ‘We are very social creatures. In terms of sex, there seems to be a real need for touch and connection’. Being aware of this can lead the way to increasing intimacy. In order to boost well-being by improving intimacy, it's important to have positive feelings about yourself. Be open and thoughtful towards your partner, while at the same time appreciating the wonderful times together and putting any unhappy memories firmly in the past. ● Main image shutterstock/Roman Chazov happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Communication skills | Learning | Relationship advice Written by Guest Author We're happy to publish articles by guest authors that will broaden the perspective and bring new insights. If you're interested in publishing an article here on happiness.com, please contact us.

Feeling unhappy is usually viewed as something to be avoided, but as Calvin Holbrook writes, studies show that cherophobia – the fear of happiness – is real. So, why are some people afraid of happiness, and can the condition be treated? It’s probably true to say that many of us are searching for happiness throughout our lives, be it from loving relationships, career satisfaction, or a safe and comfortable home. So, the idea that someone could suffer from a fear of happiness sounds hard to believe. But, in fact, there are some people who completely avoid any feelings of happiness and are indeed afraid of the consequences of being joyful. This phenomenon is known as cherophobia, or the fear of happiness. The term comes from the Greek word chairo, which means ‘I rejoice’. Now, we can all empathize with a fear of flying, snakes or heights – we may even share some of those phobias ourselves – but an aversion to happiness? It’s tricky to get to grips with the idea that a person could be afraid to be happy. Cherophobia: the definition In truth, people living with cherophobia are not always fearful of the pleasant feelings happiness can bring, but are, in fact, more concerned about the possible negative effects – disappointment, sadness, loneliness – which can follow when whatever is causing the happiness stops. Indeed, some people with cherophobia have problems to grant themselves the slightest joy or pleasure as they feel undeserving of it. The assumption is that happiness cannot be stable or constant, and only bad luck will follow, so there’s little point believing in happiness and well-being in the first place. Unfortunately, worrying about being happy blocks a healthy way of life. That’s because humans need positive experiences to reinforce and refuel ourselves, both mentally and physically. Additionally, the production of so-called ‘happiness hormones’ (endorphins such as serotonin and dopamine), is important for our well-being. Those of us who do not produce enough of these endorphins may develop depression. Life on the edge: those with cherophobia are often depressed Indeed, the attempt to deliberately avoid or oppress feelings of happiness has a counterproductive effect on the human body. Working against nature causes stress, which in turn sets free stress hormones (instead of ones linked to well-being). Depression and fear of happiness Scientists assume a connection between cherophobia and depression, although, as it's a recent study area, it’s still not entirely clear whether the fear of happiness is the cause, result or side effect of depression. However, a 2013 study did identify different correlations or connections of fear and happiness. Researchers in New Zealand and England, UK, incorporated a ‘Fear of Happiness Scale’ to measure to what degree participants associated feeling happy to then having something bad happening afterwards. The results, published in the Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, suggested that those people with depression often avoided activities that could potentially lead to happy feelings, such as meeting with friends or going to parties. “People living with cherophobia are not always fearful of the pleasant feelings happiness can bring, but are, in fact, more concerned about the possible negative effects.” Furthermore, the researchers suggested that a spiral develops in which the common depression symptom of social withdrawal reinforces the worry that if a person experience fun or happy feelings during an event, it will only follow with disappointment, loneliness or other negative letdown. Cherophobia and memory link The fact that our brain is hardwired to focus on the negative rather than the positive also comes into play when exploring aversion to happiness. That’s because people living with cherophobia may have previously experienced life events in which happy times were swiftly followed by a negative or upsetting event. Indeed, those with an aversion to happiness have often filtered their perceptions to remember only the bad thing that happened after a happy time, rather than the joyful experience itself. Painful events, be they physical or emotional, can often create such a strong memory that they overshadow other important or happy times. And if these strong emotional memories develop around happiness being somehow linked to disappointment or pain, this can lead to people avoiding opportunities for happiness due to the fear that something bad is bound to follow. Fear of happiness and culture link Of course, happiness is evaluated completely differently depending on the respective cultural background. For example, in a 2013 study, 'Cross-Cultural Validation of Fear of Happiness Scale Across 14 National Groups', Joshanloo, Weijers and other researchers identified four key reasons for fear of happiness: a belief that happiness will cause bad things to happen a belief that happiness will cause you to become a bad person a belief that expressing happiness is somehow bad for you a belief that pursuing happiness is bad for you and others Interestingly, on this last point, the authors wrote: “Some people – in Western and Eastern cultures – are wary of happiness because they believe that bad things, such as unhappiness, suffering and death, tend to happen to happy people.” In another study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, US-Americans and Chinese participants predicted the expected course of their curve of happiness over their entire life span. While the Americans believed in a continuous course of happiness, the Chinese proceeded more in waves, back and forth, believing in happiness fluctuations. RELATED: Happiness across different cultures The reason for this might be found in Taoism, because according to Taoist philosophy, one is supposed to accept that everything is constantly in flux. Indeed, the pursuit of happiness in countries pronounced by Taoism is less common than in Western countries. The aforementioned Joshanloo, a scientist from Chungbuk National University in South Korea, also carried out a global study about fear of happiness in 2014. The study was made up of 2,700 students from different countries, including Iran, Russia, Japan, USA, Netherlands and ten others. Don't suffer in silence: cherophobia can be treated The results showed that except for participants from Kenya and India, those people in all the other countries did exhibit some fear of happiness. However, there were no major differences in this among the countries themselves. It turned out, however, that in cultures which are more in line with conformity, the fear of envy is bigger than in compared countries. Hence, people in Eastern Asia have more inhibition to show their happiness than, for example, Americans. Happiness aversion: solutions? Studies show that, for the most part, the ability to be happy is innate. While there are people who are threatened to become broken by bad strokes of fate, others overcome them with amazing strength. But not every person missing the happiness gene has to surrender to this fate. Experts talk about so-called ‘happy habits’, the small routine ways we can learn how to increase happiness. For those with cherophobia, this is a great way to expand their personal perception of happiness. Attentiveness and mindfulness are the magic words in this context. That’s because it’s not the big feelings of happiness from, say, falling in love or when a child is born, but rather the little daily things which nourish us psychologically. Things such as the first warm sunbeams on the skin after a long winter, the smell of fresh coffee in the morning, or just-cut grass: all of these can make us happy, if we just allow it. RELATED: Finding happiness – 11 science-backed ways to increase well-being For those living with cherophobia or the fear of happiness, the learning experience from enjoying these small, regular moments of happiness is key. That’s because such moments can usually only be positive – there can be no negative result – no disappointment, envy, punishment – or other negative emotion attached to them. “Those with an aversion to happiness have filtered their perceptions to remember only the bad thing that happened after a happy time.” Some therapists assume that the fear of being happy should be treated like other phobias: with a gradual approach to the fear-triggering moment. Psychologists in this case talk about exposure as it is applied in treating the fear of flying. Little by little the patients face their fear until finally, and in the best case scenario, they can even master an entire flight fearless. The fact remains there is no one-size-fits-all solution for those affected by cherophobia. However, there are sources for happiness from which everyone can draw. First of all, self-knowledge is important: knowing what you like or want in life and and how you can achieve it. Also, the benefits of gratitude include boosting our well-being. Those of us who learn to appreciate what we have got tend to be living a more satisfied life. Cherophobia: conclusions If you have an aversion to happiness or generally having problems finding happiness, consider talking about it with a therapist. Likewise, it’s important to question your own perception of happiness more accurately and ask yourself some basic but important questions: what is happiness for me? Who or what helps me to be happy? How do I handle my feelings of happiness? How do I want to find happiness? All of these are exciting questions, and knowing or just considering the answers can lead you on your way to escaping cherophobia and your fear of happiness and experiencing joy on a day-to-day basis – because everyone deserves to be happy. ● Main image: shutterstock/ESB Professional happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude | Compassion | Resilience Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, as well being an artist and lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage! Find out more.

There have been many feel-good health and environmental stories in the press during October. Ed Gould rounds up his Top Ten from the past month to uplift and inspire. On the face of it, October wasn't a great month for positive news stories. Nevertheless, there were quite a few items that perhaps did not receive the wider attention they deserved. If the month of October seemed to be all doom and gloom, then what were some of the news stories you may have missed? 1. Anti-cancer drug sourced from fungus A strange kind of mushroom that grows high in the Himalayan mountain range has been found to have powerful effects in the fight against cancer. In fact, scientists believe a component in the fungus called Cordycepin may be up to 40 times more effective in helping cells to defend themselves against cancers. Medical researchers have been looking into the fungus – which has been used in traditional Chinese medicine for years – to see how it might be adapted into a chemotherapy treatment. Work on the research is ongoing at the University of Oxford. 2. Consuming mushrooms helps to stave off depression In other fungi-related news, a mental health study in the United States has found that the consumption of mushrooms can play a big part in people's depressive moods. According to researchers, the presence of a certain antioxidant known as ergothioneine can reduce oxidative stress and in turn lower the odds of suffering from a mental health condition, including depression, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. 3. Mindfulness reduces cortisol, study finds According to the New Daily, an Australian news outlet, scientists in Germany have found that a daily session of mindfulness meditation reduces stress. Many scientific studies have also found similar results. However, this study at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognition measured cortisol levels. Instead of asking people to report how they felt, this research opted for a quantifiable way of establishing stress. Over a period of six months, meditating mindfully was found to reduce this stress hormone's prevalence significantly. RELATED: Morning meditation – the secret to a great day 4. Asian wildcats back from the brink of extinction Conservationists the world over hailed the success of Chinese efforts to protect Siberian tigers and Amur leopards in the remote north of the country. The latest surveys in the Jilin and Heilongjiang provinces of the People's Republic found that numbers of both species were on the rise. A pilot scheme that began in 2017 is being noted for its success. In essence, both creatures have been allowed to roam freely in a national park since then, helping to boost their number to about 60 over the course of the last four years, according to a report in Global Times. The stunning Siberian tiger shutterstock/Volodymyr Burdiak 5. Carbon dioxide made into perfume Carbon dioxide may be useful for making drinks fizzy but it's a big problem when it's released in large quantities into the atmosphere. According to numerous outlets, the start-up Air Company is trying to use carbon capture techniques to remove it. What they have come up with is a perfume that is based on ethanol. While that's nothing new in the perfumery world, the difference is that its range of newly announced scents contain ethanol that's been derived from CO2. As such, they claim their fragrances aren't just carbon neutral but carbon negative. 6. Korean scientists turn pee into power In the search for sustainable energy that will lower the human race's reliance on fossil fuels, there are many candidates. Among them now is urine-power, thanks to the work of the National Korea Maritime and Ocean University. Researchers there have perfected a technique for using human urine to generate electricity. Their process involves mixing urea with hydrogen fluoride and other substances to produce power. It's hoped its laboratory experiments will be scaled up in future so that wastewater treatment plants can become power stations. 7. Mozart's music can help to prevent seizures A report published in Epilepsy Today described how scientists in the USA had been researching the power of music when dealing with a group of people who could not have their seizures controlled by medication. In their study, the team played a variety of music to those with epilepsy, including a piece by Wagner and one by Mozart. They discovered that the neural activity most associated with the prelude to a seizure was significantly reduced when listening to the Mozart piece. It's thought that the musical structure of Sonata For Two Pianos (K448) is what helps to adjust the way the brain is working. Interestingly, they found that just 30 seconds or so of exposure was enough to have a noticeable effect but that no other piece of music displayed the same properties. 8. Brits fighting to protect endangered beetle A new nature reserve has been set up in a Norfolk wetland centre to try and help the Tansy beetle from extinction. The beetle is only known to exist in three locations. The new reserve is at one of those sites and aims to help the species to breed and thrive without interference to its habitat, according to ITV News. The green beetle is already protected but its preferred habitat is under threat so the move will hopefully at least stabilise its numbers in the wild. A close-up of the rare Tansy beetle shutterstock/Wirestock Creators 9. New solar-powered desalination technique unveiled According to the India Times, a new method for removing salt from water so that it can be drunk has been developed by a firm called Solar Water Solutions. The firm is based in Finland and reckons it can purify saltwater to a high level with nothing more complex than solar panels. The idea is to help people in areas without much water to desalinate seawater with no environmental cost in terms of energy consumption. At the moment, a pilot project has been set up to test the technique in Kenya. Once fully running, the company estimates that around 400,000 people living in rural parts of the country will benefit from the project. 10. Large amounts of rubbish removed from ocean The Pacific Ocean is home to huge amounts of rubbish, much of it plastic that is bobbing around in swirling vortices. In an experimental technique, a clean-up operation off the coast of California exceeded the developers' expectations. In fact, the method has removed as much as 31 tonnes of plastic rubbish from the sea between the start of July and October, according to the Independent. The project involved a single haul of rubbish that managed to pick up about ten tonnes of material somewhere between the US mainland and Hawaii. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Nature | Biotechnology | Biology | Stress Management Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Corney Harnish examines how playing games can actually improve your life, leave you feeling better than ever, and create a social impact. Are you someone who is skeptical about games? Do you believe that they are bad for our youth or can cause social issues among people? You’re not alone. This debate over whether or not video games negatively affect us has been going on for years. However, it turns out that it depends on what games you're playing. There is great evidence that some games actually are good and can positively impact us! These are called Games for Change. There’s a community of amazing people who have been working on these types of games for the last 15 years through the Games for Change festival that’s happening right now in NYC. Creators and social innovators are driving real-world change by empowering people to take social action through games. These savvy techies are working on cutting-edge technology that leverages games for change making an impact in the civic sector, directly addressing issues around social justice, human development, as well as environment and responsible citizenship. “Creators and social innovators are driving real-world change by empowering people to take social action through games.” Beyond this, games are being used to transform education in and out of school, making learning a fun and easy process! And, even more, gaming is being explored to improve health, fitness, cognitive skills, and mindfulness through interactive experiences and new technologies. Pretty versatile or what?! So what kind of positive impact do games have? Playing games can bring together fundamental aspects of psychology, sociology, and technology to engage people for social change. For starters, it allows children to develop and experience life in a safe environment. Additionally, it encourages people in general to pursue their ambitions, develop a realistic framework for achieving them, and improves our emotional intelligence. [1] Fair game: playing video games does have benefits And, what’s great, game designer Mary Flanagan outlines four ways video games can have a positive behavioural and social impact: Encourages open-mindedness Provides an easier way to spread messages and tell stories Develops new mental associations Provides multiple perspectives for people to view situations [2] Any cool examples of these Games for Change? Yes, of course! One that Better World International has developed, and that I have been working on directly, is a great example: The Good Cards: a digital platform and mobile app that empowers and motivates people to do good deeds and track the ripple effect they’ve inspired. Through partnerships with schools and community groups, we create customized missions for social action like our environmental clean-up mission we did with EliteYouthTour. The Good Cards also guides individuals in doing good for themselves and those around them to make a positive impact in their community. Game on: playing some types of games can have a positive impact Or, there’s SuperBetter, which is a meaningful creation from Jane McGonigal, a leader in the field of gamification. “SuperBetter increases resilience – the ability to stay strong, motivated and optimistic, even in the face of difficult obstacles. Playing SuperBetter makes you more capable of getting through any tough situation — and more likely to achieve the goals that matter most to you.” [3] One other impressive example is Zombies, Run!, a mobile app that makes fitness and running fun. Players have to complete a sequence of missions to rescue survivors, pick up supplies, and defend their home all while trying to avoid the zombies. It’s a neat little way to make running more exciting. Woah, that’s awesome! What does the future look like? This is something that is absolutely limitless with the technological advancements we are experiencing. At the moment, the field of gamification is trending. Briefly, gamification is the application of motivation psychology with game mechanics to inspire people to engage in a specific behavior that they might not have been motivated enough to do on their own. This has the potential to result in applications that help improve productivity and office culture in companies, empower people to build the daily habits they strive to have, and make learning a seamless process. Yet, there’s more. Virtual Reality (VR) is going to change the future of gaming. This rapidly-evolving technology will have an incredible impact, whether in healthcare, entertainment, or space exploration. For example, VR is to be used to train surgeons, helping them receive substantial practice before they move on to live humans. [4] “This is something that is absolutely limitless with the technological advancements we are experiencing. At the moment, the field of gamification is trending.” So, there’s a lot of groundbreaking stuff going on. It’s not just about making money anymore; there are a lot of people and organizations out there who want to make a difference to the world we live in. One last thing, how can I get involved? Grab a Good Card and see how far your ripple effect of kindness will last. Find a game from the list at Games for Change and start making a difference by having fun! ● Written by Corey Harnish The poster child of community, Corey is a great listener and huge believer in humanity. Currently the CEO of Better World International a 501c3 tech nonprofit, Corey is leading The Good Cards development; an innovative online-gaming platform and app that engages people worldwide in doing good deeds for happiness and global sustainability. Corey is an AmeriCorps VISTA Alumni, an Honorary Rotarian of Rotary International, as well as a volunteer of Defy Ventures, providing business coaching to EITs (entrepreneurs-in-training), and an active personal life coach. Corey empowers individuals and communities and help them to flourish through personal development coaching and community service involvement. An aspiring Social Justice activist with a passion for community/sustainable development, service learning, juvenile justice rehabilitation, and brain-based coaching.

Trusting a partner, friends or even the public isn't easy for some of us. If you're worried you or someone you love has trust issues, psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains the seven signs you need to look for and offers ideas on regaining trust and moving forward. When you trust someone, you are placing your confidence into their hands. It is a vital human experience. Relationships — and entire societies — are based on essential faith that we will not be harmed. However, confiding is not necessarily an easy thing to do. It is also not a given. Humans develop basic trust in the first months of their lives. It is maintained (or lost) during childhood and adolescence. Even as adults, we can acquire trust issues if we are exposed to severe betrayal. Sometimes, trust issues are so deeply ingrained into our psyche that we do not even recognise having them. But if you've ever asked yourself “Do I have trust issues?”, this article will explain what they are, what signs to look out for, and how to overcome those difficulties in trusting others. What are trust issues? Trust issues are, simply put, difficulties in relying on something or someone. In interpersonal relationships, when you trust someone, you feel that you can depend on them to do what they say they will. So, when you ask yourself: “Do I have trust issues?” elaborate and instead ask yourself: “Is it difficult for me to have faith that people will hold on to their word?” Reading a partner's text? Definitely trust issues! Interestingly, according to the American Psychological Association’s dictionary entry on trust: “the key factor is not the intrinsic honesty of the other people but their predictability.” In other words, to have faith does not mean to be surrounded by trustworthy, honest folks. It is about predicting how they will behave. This aspect of trust is an important point when you are dealing with your trust issues, and we will return to it later on. Now, if we said that basic trust in people is a vital human experience — how does it happen that some people end up with trust issues? (Why) do I have trust issues? Trust is a phenomenon that exists on a continuum. It is not warranted nor advisable to have faith in everyone and everything, of course. Some wariness is a natural, evolutionary response to the unpredictability of life. However, when you have trust issues, you simply cannot relax around people. You expect to be betrayed, lied to, cheated on, taken advantage of — even by those closest to you. Such an unfounded and all-encompassing nature of the lack of trust is what qualifies it as a trust issue. How do issues around trust develop? No person is alike. Therefore, it is also not possible to state a single cause of trust issues. However, there are three main paths to understand their creation, founded in theory and empirical research. The first is Erik Erikson’s work on life cycles. According to this great psychologist, psychosocial development occurs in stages. Starting with the birth until about 18 months of age, infants either acquire or fail to attain basic trust. When the primary caregiver (usually the mother) is responsive, consistent, and reliable, a sense of confidence in others develops. A failure at this stage, conversely, results in mistrust that bleeds into every later relationship. “When you have trust issues, you simply cannot relax around people. You expect to be betrayed, lied to, cheated on, taken advantage of — even by those closest to you.” Another theoretical explanation is the attachment and attachment styles proposed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, respectively. Attachment is formed during early childhood, based on the experience with the primary caregiver and other family members. These early interactions form a blueprint for our subsequent way of relating to others. Trust issues characterise insecure attachment. Finally, even if you were once a trusting person, a traumatic experience in adulthood could make you start distrusting others. Whether you were exposed to violence, psychological or sexual abuse, severe betrayal or disappointment, such experiences could leave a psychological scar and change you. Signs you may have trust issues As we suggested above, trust issues can be thoroughly hidden from your immediate awareness. They potentially developed when you were as young as a few months old. So, trust issues could feel like your part of your nature, not like 'issues' as such. They can be your defence mechanism — by definition, not conscious. So, if you still hear the voice in the back of your mind asking: “Do I have trust issues?” here are seven signs to look for which may suggest that you do. 1. Being overly suspicious of others’ good intentions Trust issues are equal to being excessively wary. Your mind is working under the assumption that people will harm you. Therefore, it might be difficult to accept kindness and gestures of affection for what they are. Your thoughts immediately search for the “real” reasons and ulterior motives behind such actions. 2. Turbulent relationships Trust also affects how couples communicate, as a study confirmed. When you doubt your partner’s intentions, you are likely to pick fights. When you argue, you focus on the negatives instead of your strengths as a couple. The history of your romantic relationships could reveal a pattern of dysfunction, drama, on-again-off-again kind of affairs. When you have trust issues, you could also be prone to developing psychologically unhealthy codependent relationships. People with trust issues often have turbulent relationships shutterstock/New Africa 3. A lack of profound closeness and openness Research has revealed that trust is tied to love and the intimacy of self-disclosure. The opposite is also true. It is only logical — when you expect people to betray you, you are unlikely to share information with them. You could be avoiding affection altogether. Nonetheless, mistrust robs you out of the opportunity to experience close, deep relationships. 4. All-round belief about people being deceptive Trust issues are usually most visible in romantic relationships. However, you might also have an overarching conviction that all people are dishonest and unreliable. Therefore, any social interaction is a cause for mistrust. For example, you buy your groceries and always double-check the change. Teamwork for you means expecting your coworkers to backstab you. In friendships, you are mostly secretive. Trust issues make you walk the world expecting to be double-crossed. 5. Inability to forgive and forget It might seem as if trust issues have kept you safe from harm. In reality, they have caused much more damage than good. Still, you feel that mistrust protects you. Such an impression is particularly likely if you developed trust issues after an adult traumatic experience. If you ever let someone get close to you, chances are, you will be overly sensitive to any hint of treachery. And, if they do end up hurting you, you probably would not be able to forgive and let it go. Indeed, forgiveness and trust are complexly intertwined. For those struggling with trusting people, granting forgiveness can be incredibly challenging. 6. Social isolation and loneliness According to one study, some people are highly motivated to acquire relationship-threatening information. They yearn to find out if others indirectly harmed them. Such individuals also exhibit paranoid thought patterns and act out their suspicion. However, no one likes that. As a result, others socially reject highly distrusting people because they anger them. Another study found that high mistrust leads to a greater chance of a break-up of romantic relationships in a matter of months. 7. Emotional disturbances According to Aaron Beck, a renowned psychiatrist and theoretician, depression goes hand-in-hand with a depressive cognitive triad. In its simplest, the triad means that people prone to depression will have negative beliefs about others and the world, their future, and themselves. “It might seem as if trust issues have kept you safe from harm. In reality, they have caused much more damage than good.” Trust issues make you wary of others and consider them corrupt. The future could look bleak when you expect to be lied to and taken advantage of. Finally, when you are lonely and often rejected for your mistrust, you could also see yourself as being faulty. Therefore, emotional disturbances, starting with depression, could come from your inability to trust others. Dealing with trust issues As explained, trust exists on a continuum. At this point, that means that some people will be able to overcome their trust issues with some soul-searching and support from friends or family. For others, contacting a psychotherapist or a counsellor might be necessary. What are the steps you can take on your own to deal with trust issues? Mostly, it is about changing your perspective and strengthening the ability to handle the uncertainty of relationships. Accept the risk. Let us eat the biggest frog first. Yes, there is a risk of you getting hurt. There always is. That does not mean you ought to live in hiding. An occasional bruise is a part of life. It would be best to learn to accept that such a possibility exists — and get comfortable with that. How? By knowing that you will survive any challenge thrown your way. And — by recognising that not every relationship comes with endless pain. Most people mean well and will treat you kindly. It is possible to overcome minor transgressions and grow as a couple and as individuals. Practise mindfulness. Mindfulness will help you focus on the 'now'. If you learn how to be mindful, you can overcome the ruminations about past hurts. They will not direct your present actions anymore. You will also develop the ability to handle anxieties about the horror scenarios you imagine may happen in the future. Develop coping skills. Do you remember the American Psychological Association’s definition of trust? The bit we said we would get back to later? Trust is not about the intrinsic honesty of others but their predictability. What this means is that in tackling trust issues, we are not to try and change others. Yes, some people will remain deceitful. Instead of trying to avoid betrayal, we need to become able to cope with it. Therefore, work on enhancing your self-confidence. Grow your coping skills. When you arm yourself with faith in your skills, you will be able to muddle through any disappointment from others. In effect, you will also liberate yourself from the constant fear of being let down. Takeaway: dealing with trust issues Perhaps you started reading this article with a question – “Do I have trust issues?” At this point, you might have a better idea if you do. But this is not enough. You ought to work on overcoming them. It will not be an easy road to travel. Trust issues grew in your mind to protect you from maltreatment. You feel that they have kept you safe. Yet, what they do is rob you out of your chances of a spontaneous, free life. You will miss out on everything a fulfilling relationship can give you — inspiration, support, joy, understanding. It is now within your reach to change that. Make the first steps towards a rewarding experience of letting others in. • Main image: shutterstock/WAYHOME studio happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum ■ developing with free online classes in our Academy Authenticity | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

We often forget to be kind to ourselves, but being good to yourself is essential says psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović. Discover eight self-love techniques – such as forgiveness and setting boundaries – and improve your emotional well-being. 'Please be good to yourself' is something we would like to say to our loved ones when we witness them beating themselves up. Yet, we rarely take our own advice. Unlike compassion, self-kindness often feels unnatural. In today’s society of achievements, we succumb to rationing self-love as if it were something that needs to be painstakingly deserved. However, it is not. Self-love is dynamic and expands as we grow psychologically. It is not something that you can attain through a makeover, inspirational read, career achievements, or a new relationship. It is not simply feeling good or motivated to take on the world. It is knowing and accepting yourself, being comfortable with who you are. Being good to yourself means being autonomous and centred in your life purpose and values. This article will explore the science behind self-love and self-kindness, and give you eight research-based tips on how to be good to yourself. Why being good to yourself is essential Being good to yourself is a foundational tenet of many psychological interventions. The reason? It is an essential ingredient of well-being. Through self-love, both our minds and our bodies can function optimally. For a long time, researchers and practitioners were aware of the effects of self-kindness on psychological and physical health. A recent study revealed the mechanism behind its benefits. Being good to oneself switches off our threat response, calms our heart rate, and, overall, enables us to respond flexibly to situations. Be good to yourself: self-love is essential for well-being shutterstock/kues The threat (or, the fight or flight) response to stressful situations is adaptive to a point. However, for a modern human, on most occasions, this reaction is overly intensive. After all, there isn’t a prehistoric carnivore chasing us. So, consistently practising self-love and managing to switch this extreme automatic reaction off boosts our immune system. By doing so, we give ourselves the best chance of healing and prospering. Be good to yourself: 8 self-love techniques For the majority of people, the habit of being unconstructively self-critical is deeply engrained in their psyche. Most of us expect to see results (educational, professional, or social achievements) before we can begin to love ourselves. So, being good to yourself probably won’t become your default state of mind on its own. You need to commit to practising it. Here are eight techniques you can easily incorporate into your life. Try them and hopefully you will start to see a difference. 1. Practise mindfulness Even though it’s not a panacea, mindfulness remains at the top of the list of beneficial techniques in a variety of situations. It teaches us to observe our inner world without judgement. If you want to be good to yourself, fist yu need to accept whatever it may be that you’re feeling or thinking. Mindfulness gives us the necessary self-esteem and unconditional self-acceptance we need to feel comfortable with ourselves. 2. Be honest about your weaknesses Not being perfect stings. We know. We all have an image of the ideal self in our heads. Looking at the discrepancy between who we are and who we want to be is unpleasant at the very least. Nonetheless, to be good to yourself doesn’t mean lying, flattering, or turning a blind eye to your shortcomings. Self-love means not bashing yourself over your flaws. It means building a healthier response to your failures and imperfections. Accepting that you’re not impeccable will gradually lead you to a realistic image of your self-worth. 3. Speak sincere words of self-acceptance Once you’ve brought your weaknesses and emotions to the light of the day through being mindful and truthful, you can begin to shift your attitude. When you ignore or deny your limitations, you are giving the power away. Because you don’t want that, it’s time to come up with affirmations that will resonate with your true self. “'Be good to yourself' is much more than a phrase. It is a foundational tenet of many psychological interventions.” For example, you might be facing a difficult task. Trying to convince yourself that the idea of giving up does not tempt you probably won’t work. Instead, you could try saying: “Even though this feels hard, I will be gentle with myself and simply do my best”. If you’re struggling with creating your genuine self-love statements, try thinking about what you would need to hear from someone else. What kind of supportive sentence would you believe in? 4. Forgive and self-forgive Forgiveness liberates. It’s a pearl of ancient wisdom with strong support in modern-day research. An extensive review of studies on forgiveness found that if we find it in ourselves to replace the unforgiving emotions with empathy and compassion, our bodies and minds heal. Letting go of resentment means to be good to yourself. And what about self-forgiveness? When you forgive yourself, you open the doors to growing as a person. Whether you’re feeling guilty for hurting another, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or for holding on to unhealthy habits, let go of self-hate. Forgiving yourself frees you from unconstructive self-condemnation. 5. Know your values To be good to yourself means more than self-acceptance and self-forgiveness. It means working towards fulfilling your purpose as well. Once you’ve come to peace with who you are and abandoned self-loathing, the need to realise your potentials will naturally come to the front. Forgiveness is a big part of self-love and being good to yourself shutterstock/HBRH This is when you need to be clear on what your core values are. You can try one of the life coaching tools freely available such as the “What I really value in life” or “Values and purpose” exercise to help you define what it is that moves you. 6. Practise good self-care Self-love and good self-care are closely connected. You are more likely to make healthy lifestyle choices when you’re happy with yourself and your life. This association can also work the other way round. If you commit to taking good care of yourself, you will build the basis for loving yourself more. Be good to yourself, eat healthily, exercise, sleep better, surround yourself with well-minded people, and pursue interests. But remember, it’s also very important not to be harsh on yourself when you fail to do those things. Being a perfectionist will only cause you to beat yourself up, instead of making you feel good. 7. Stop comparing yourself In the age of social media and all-around self-promotion, our natural inclination to compare ourselves to others has become enormously amplified. We all know that people carefully edit what they display online (and in person, for that matter). Nonetheless, we are still affected by the contrast between our real lives and what we see out there. “'Being good to yourself probably won't become your default state of mind on its own. You need to commit to practising it.” Comparing yourself to others can make you vulnerable to anxiety, low self-esteem and depression. So, stop doing it. Spend your energy on living intentionally instead. 8. Set boundaries We all do it sometimes – we bend over backwards. We do it for our career, friends, family, or simply because we were raised to do so. Although it is praiseworthy to be selfless, the truth is – you cannot live a healthy life without healthy limits. Well-being depends on feeling like you’re in control and being assertive (among other things, of course). Therefore, you cannot keep pulling out all your stops for every single person or project. You need to set boundaries and protect your integrity. Make your love for yourself a lifelong romance As you might have noticed, we’re not proposing narcissistic self-love based on a delusory image of your saint-like grandness — quite the opposite. The foundation of self-love is authenticity. So, to love yourself, know yourself. Accept, do not judge - but always seek ways to grow and improve. Be kind and forgiving to yourself. Live a life that is in line with your values and work towards your ideal self. In that way, self-love becomes the spring from which your contribution to the world will flow. • happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online Academy classes Healthy habits | Self care | Quality time Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.

Can 12 ideas be described as constituting pillars of well-being? Ed Gould examines the ideas of leading psychologist Rick Hanson. An expert in his field, the creator of the 12 pillars of well-being, Rick Hanson, is the author of several books that focus on well-being and happiness. In Hardwiring Happiness, for example, the eminent psychologist discusses how recent scientific studies have led to a greater understanding of the correlations between neural structures and mental well-being. A senior fellow of the Greater Good Science Centre at University College Berkeley, Hanson's scientific ideas have featured in many news features around the world, such as with the BBC and CBS. He has spoken at Oxford, Stanford and Harvard universities, to name but three. However, Rick Hanson is probably best known as the founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, an institution that is centred on the 12 pillars of well-being. Along with his other best-selling publications, Just One Thing, Buddha's Brain and Mother Nature, Hanson produces a free newsletter that has over 100,000 subscribers. Throughout his published work and his regular newsletters, Hansen's extensive career has been leading many to the 12 pillars of well-being concept. RELATED: Mindfulness books – our Top 10 picks The 12 pillars of well-being What is it that Rick Hanson can teach us about happiness and contentment and how do the pillars of well-being help us to achieve them? Let's examine Rick Hanson's concept in the first place. Gratitude: one of the 12 pillars of well-being The first thing to note about the Rick Hanson model of well-being is that it is two-dimensional. This is not to say that it has no depth, rather that you can imagine the 12 pillars of well-being laid out on a grid. Across the top of the grid are the names of the “Four R's” which constitute the grid's four columns. According to Hanson, these represent the mainstays of well-being: Recognising Resourcing Regulating Relating Running horizontally are three core needs we all have, as Hanson sees them. Safety Satisfaction Connection From either the core needs or from the category of well-being, it's then possible to get to each of the 12 pillars. For example, where Resourcing coincides with Connection, the pillar is named as “Confidence”. Alternatively, where Regulating and Safety intersect, the pillar would be “Calm”. Because the 12 pillars of well-being are arranged, or, more accurately, can be thought of in this way, it's possible to truly understand which each one represents. “Mindfulness” and “Motivation” are both pillars that connect to the core need of Satisfaction, for example. The 12 Pillars of Well-Being: Dr Rick Hanson How to use the 12 pillars of well-being Hanson's 12 pillar concept is designed to create a simple path that will enable you to grow a dozen strengths needed for better well-being. However, they are not simply good habits to get into or new ways of thinking about the world. The pillars are designed to make alterations inside your brain so that you can get the most out of your life. Primarily, Hanson is using the well-known medical phenomenon of neuroplasticity within each of our brains to reorganize neural networks. He's showing us how this can be done for improved mental and lifestyle outcomes. Much as someone who has suffered a brain injury will learn how to perform certain tasks using other parts of their cortex, so the 12 pillars of well-being can help us to rewire our brains for beneficial effects. How does this work? You may already work on your self-development in particular ways. For example, you may have embarked on a programme of self-compassion by reaffirming positive things about yourself each day. Under Hanson's 12 pillar model, you are “Recognising” the core need of “Safety” by being self-caring in this way. Every time you go through a ritual of self-caring or take the time to compliment yourself, then you're reinforcing a neural structure at a physical level within the brain. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } “Hanson's 12 pillar concept is designed to create a simple path that will enable you to grow a dozen strengths needed for better well-being.” Equally, if you're working on scientifically proven techniques to improve confidence, such as working on your support network more regularly, then Hanson's model would ascribe this to “Resourcing” your core need for “Connection”. However, these are just individual examples of rewiring neural networks. The point is that having the 12 pillar approach to better well-being in place will help to make sure that you're not missing out on any single element. All too often, we identify a need for our inner well-being and focus on that. Although this is perfectly understandable and very human behaviour, it's not always the best route to overall mental well-being. Hanson reminds us that our neural network's need rewiring from several different angles at once to achieve a true equilibrium. Indeed, he points out that 12 essential elements, or pillars, lie at the heart of improving ourselves, not just one or two. The 12 Pillars of Well-Being: Dr Rick Hanson Watch: The 12 Pillars of Well-Being with Dr Rick Hanson Think of it regarding an athlete who is training for a competition. In this analogy, if they only work on one or two muscle groups, then they may find improved physical performance in some areas. However, if they neglect the other parts of their body, then they could find themselves going backwards in others. This is what Hanson is teaching us with the brain's need for 12 pillars to be fed at once, from mindfulness to gratitude and from vitality to learning. As long as we work on each of our three core needs across the four mainstays of well-being, then each of the 12 pillars will contribute to a rewired brain that truly sets us on the path to greater enlightenment and better mental well-being. Each pillar has a role to play What's more, Hanson's 12 pillars of well-being gives us a good idea of how to work on each pillar. As just one example, if we look at the fifth pillar, gratitude, Hanson describes what needs to be done to heighten behaviours that relate to gratitude. He shows us how to take pleasure by releasing inhibitions and focusing on all of our sensory experiences, not just on one or two. Furthermore, under the fifth pillar, he teaches how to take pleasure from every day, even mundane, things. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged Similar advice can be found for each pillar, such as developing a sense of 'unilateral virtue' and 'speaking from the heart' under the tenth pillar of courage. Taken together – and not in isolation from one another – each pillar offers a step on a wider path. Like all journeys, each step forward marks progress but, crucially, will also lead to physical changes in our brains, as well. More information on each of the 12 pillars of well-being and some great instructional videos can be found at the Foundations of Well-Being. ● Main photo: Colourbox.com Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's a practitioner of Reiki.

Is it possible to look at happiness in terms of the choices we make every day? Sonia Vadlamani explains how long-lasting happiness largely stems from making consistently conscious choices. Incorporate these 12 happy habits in to your daily routine and feel the benefits. Happiness means different things to different people. For you, it might be a secure job and a comfortable life. For others, it may mean freedom of expression and forming meaningful friendships. And while happiness looks distinct for everyone, most people agree that being happy is the most important aspect and the major driving force in life. While there is no consensus on a ‘silver bullet’ that works for everyone, there are some things which boost happiness for the majority – good physical health, sound mental health, a stress-free and productive life, job-satisfaction, a sense of fulfillment, meaningful relationships, etc, are just a few outcomes that result in happiness for most individuals. What is happiness? Most researchers consider happiness as a state of mind. It is usually measured in terms of life-satisfaction, subjective well-being, and a positive mental state. Lack of negative emotions like anger, frustration, and absence of symptoms of stress, anxiety and depression are also considered to result in a happy state of mind. How habits and happiness are related Choosing what makes us happy is difficult sometimes, especially when something that might make us genuinely happier in the long run seems to clash with what feels good in the present moment. In the words of Gretchen Rubin, best-selling author of The Happiness Project, happiness doesn’t always feel happy. For example, relaxing and binge-watching a favorite show may certainly feel like the convenient choice over heading to the gym for a workout. A double chocolate chip cookie might seem more appealing than a healthier and wholesome bowl of salad. RELATED: How habits can get in the way of your goals The common instinct during such a dilemma is to settle for the convenient or compelling choice – this may result in short burst of joy but might not make us happy in the long run. However, it is possible to break out of this default subconscious behavior and work our way towards the happiness-creating choice, through willpower and consistent action. Choosing the gym over cookies: a happiness habit! shutterstock/NDAB Creativity Making consistently better choices can be a viable strategy to create lasting happiness. Habits matter – they help us engrain a choice as the default action, if made repeatedly. Long-lasting, consistent variety of happiness come through consistent habits. Hitting the gym after work can be made into your default choice – or ingrained healthy habit – through consistent action, rather than to just remain a couch potato, resulting in good health and consistent happiness. Happy habits: 12 simple ways to boost joy levels daily So, let’s look at some happy habits to help you with your quest for happiness. With time and practice, you can cement these happy habits into your daily routine as your default choice of action: 1. Smile Smiling is circular – happy people smile more often, which releases more dopamine, and this makes them happier. Researchers even suggest faking a smile to induce cheerfulness and lower stress levels through ‘facial feedback’. Smiling has also been associated with extended life expectancy. A study by Michigan State University revealed that smiling as a result of cultivating positive thoughts can improve mood, prevent feelings of apathy, and improve productivity levels in the workplace. 2. Exercise regularly Exercise can prevent hypertension, boost heart health and immunity, and extend your life span. However, the benefits are not limited to physical health – regular exercise can help lower stress levels and even rewire your brain connections to keep depression at bay. A systematic review of existing literature by Zhanjia Zhang et al revealed that even the minimal amount of physical activity in the form of aerobic or stretching/balancing exercises makes a huge impact in favor of reduced stress and depression – resulting in greater happiness – in comparison to those who do not exercise on even one day in a week. “Happiness and habits have a symbiotic relationship – people with healthy habits are happier, and happy people are found to have healthier habits.” Include at least 20 minutes of daily physical activity in the form of strength training, outdoor running, yoga or walking to observe the difference in your mood and health. You could also indulge in a hobby involving movement, like dancing or playing tennis. 3. Eat mindfully Healthier food choices result in elevated happiness, as indicated by a research synthesis by Ruut Veenhoven. A balanced diet consisting of whole grains, lean meat, healthy fats along with two to three portions of fresh vegetables and fruit per day can improve your physical health and prevent disease. In addition, food choices impact your mental health as well – good mood foods can alleviate anxiety and depression and improve your mood by inducing the release of happiness hormones. 4. Get enough sleep Despite the competitive modern world trying to convince us to stay awake and connected for longer hours, getting sufficient sleep is a crucial happy habit for good health and well-being. A four-week study by Ji-eun Shin et al revealed that individuals who sleep for adequate hours have lower incidence of ‘zero-sum beliefs’ or scarcity mindset, higher life-satisfaction and elevated happiness levels. Take time to build a healthy sleep routine. Keep sleep-stealers like phones and tablets on silent mode and tucked away at least one hour before bedtime. Try going to bed and waking up at the same time every day to regularize your sleep patterns. 5. Meet friends and family often Humans are inherently social beings and forming meaningful ties makes us happier. A study by Matthias R Mehl et al pointed out that meaningful friendships call for lesser small talk and encourage more ‘substantive’ conversations, resulting in a greater perception of well-being and happiness. Another happy habit: keeping family close shutterstock/Monkey Business Images Furthermore, meeting happy people with a positive attitude will amp up the benefits. Another study at Harvard Medical School observed the happiness patterns of 5,000 participants over a period of 20 years, to establish that happiness levels in a person can trigger a positive chain reaction and the benefits can reach their friends, their friends’ friends, and so on. 6. Plan ahead Planning the next day and upcoming week in advance can help prevent the floundering feeling we sometimes get when there’s too much work that needs to get done but we have no clue where to begin. It is essential to factor in the truth here – what isn’t planned most often doesn’t get done, which may result in undue stress and dissatisfaction. RELATED: Mindful minutes – 10 small practices that make a big difference A study by renowned self-help author Robert Epstein revealed that 25 per cent of our happiness depends on our ability to manage stress, and that consistent planning and timely action can prevent stressful situations. Hence, to prevent stress, it’s important to reflect on the activities that bring you the desired result, such as joy, sense of accomplishment etc. and consistently establish supportive plans. Seeking happiness through random, haphazard acts might not always work out in your favor, but activities listed through meticulous planning will seldom backfire, offering you greater sense of satisfaction. 7. Disconnect and recharge While social media is great for networking and staying connected, it can also take a toll on your mental health and hurt your self-esteem. Taking some time to disconnect from that infinite realm called the internet, to connect with your inner self, is crucial for your subjective well-being and happiness. In a two-week study by Dunn and Kushlev, 221 participants were encouraged to maximize their phone interruptions and keep them within reach for a week. For the next week, participants were asked to turn off their phone notifications and tuck the phone away out of plain sight. Participants reported higher attention span and improved productivity levels when phone alerts were off, which predicted elevated levels of happiness. While unplugging your phone and shutting down your electronic devices might seem like a ridiculous proposition in the beginning, but it can save you from mental fatigue and undue stress. Start small – try taking a break from social media and phone notifications for a few hours each week, extending to few hours of silent mode each day. Use this time to meditate, read, or simply savor the silence around. 8. Meditate Meditation is an energization practice that allows you to focus your thoughts, enabling you to unleash your inner potential and achieve a greater sense of awareness. Numerous scientific studies point out that meditating daily can improve your mood and boost cognitive abilities. According to a review study at Kyoto University, meditation can increase the grey matter in precuneus area of the brain, which is known as the origin of the sense of well-being and happiness. Meditate regularly to boost your mood shutterstock/Shift Drive If you are a beginner struggling with your meditation practice, take heart it knowing it need not be a complicated technique. Explore some of the best beginner's meditation videos online, or simply begin by sitting in a quiet place for at least five minutes, as you concentrate on your breathing patterns. 9. Connect with nature The fast-paced world around us has a way of making us believe that life is all about achievements and hustle. While goals are important, remember that there’s more to life than to-do lists and deadlines. Taking time from your busy schedule periodically to get into nature can rejuvenate your senses, improve your heart health, prevent cancer and boost your creativity. Forest bathing or reconnecting with nature can also alleviate stress and depression, indicating higher levels of happiness. 10. Stay spiritually connected In a broad sense, spirituality relates to looking beyond oneself to find a connection with a greater dimension or a higher power that unites all beings. It doesn’t necessarily translate into religious tenets or gatherings – instead, it focuses on cultivating intrinsic value systems like kindness, compassion, gratitude etc, in your daily life. The Science of Happiness, a special edition by Time, summarizes the learning compiled from existing scientific research that most spiritual people derive certain ‘psychological comfort’ from their belief system and tend to be less depressed and less anxious as compared to their non-spiritual counterparts. “Humans are inherently social beings and forming meaningful ties makes us happier. Furthermore, meeting happy people with a positive attitude will amp up the benefits.” A systematic review of scientific literature by Sankul Gaur recognized spirituality as an emerging predictor of happiness, wherein spiritual or religious interventions were found to improve one’s sense of well-being and life satisfaction. 11. Stay in the present While the technological advancements in the form of smartphones and tablets do make our lives easier, unfortunately they also tend to draw our attention away from the reality around us. Being mindful of the environment around you and savoring the present moment without judgment is crucial for cultivating happiness – it allows you to think, feel and act from a place of purpose in a conscious manner, as opposed to your actions arising based on your subconscious patterns, or a ‘default mode’. A study by Cristian Coo et al established mindfulness as an important construct for mental health and an effective positive psychology intervention tool. It also revealed the positive effect of Mindfulness Based Intervention (MBI) on the happiness levels, work engagement and productivity of professionals in varied fields like healthcare, education etc. 12. Practise gratitude Gratitude is the appreciation of good things in your life, or an acknowledgment of the gifts you received. Studies show that the simplest acknowledgment of all things you are grateful for – be it by writing gratitude list or via gratitude meditation – can positively impact hope and happiness. Furthermore, developing an attitude of gratitude has scientifically-proven benefits. It’s possible to start small – acknowledge things you’re grateful for as you go about your daily tasks, such as having hot water to take a shower or having the sense of vision. Gratitude journaling is another great way to set positive intentions for the day. Round-up: happy habits Happiness and habits have a symbiotic relationship – people with healthy habits are happier, and happy people are found to have healthier habits. The happiness-boosting habits listed here are by no means exclusive – try them to see which of these fit well into your lifestyle and stick to the ones that create favorable results for you. With consistent practice and patience, you can create a routine to include the positive habits that suit your version of happiness and the path you choose to achieve the same. • Main image: shutterstock/Monkey Business Images happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Authenticity | Courage | Learning | Success Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Still have your doubts that meditation really works? Then here's the scientific proof to suggest that it does. Sonia Vadlamani looks at some of the key meditation studies and discusses why consistency is key when it comes to getting results. Gone are the days when meditation was a practice reserved mostly for yogis and Buddhist monks. Meditation is now a phenomenon that has transgressed set notions – thanks in part to the ubiquitous nature of apps like Calm and Headspace – most people have heard of meditation, even if they’ve never tried it. Celebrities such as the Beatles, Madonna and Oprah Winfrey have also played their part in helping meditation permeate into the mainstream. In fact, the global meditation market was worth $1.2 billion in 2017, and this figure is set to reach $2 billion by 2022. Yet, while trying to find a balance between app subscriptions, self-reflection, hectic schedules and time constraints, if you’ve ever thought 'does meditation really work?', then you're not alone! Several styles of meditation exist, with transcendental, mindfulness, mantra and gratitude meditation being some of the most widely practised. Any form of meditation can prove to be challenging – especially in the beginning. But science shows that if you find the right form of meditation for you, and be consistent with your practice – then meditation really does work. Let’s take a look at the proof after briefly revisiting some of meditation's benefits to the body. The benefits of meditation While different forms of meditation exist, they all have a common aim – to train your mind to concentrate, and to direct your focus solely on one subject, be that the present moment in mindfulness meditation, or a mantra in mantra meditation. Sofa, so good! Research to date suggests meditation does work shutterstock/fizkes Thus, meditation is essentially a vital exercise for the brain that builds up your ability to ward away distractions and stay engaged. The more focused you are, the lesser you react to external distractions. This also teaches you to calm your senses and react in a sensible and productive manner. There are other science-based benefits of meditation too – it helps alleviate stress, improves heart health and boosts brain power. The key parameter, nonetheless, is that one needs to be consistent with their chosen meditation practice in order to begin seeing any short-term or long-term benefits. Indeed, science shows that consistent meditation rewires the brain by increasing the density of regions related to self-awareness, concentration, memory, and compassion. At the same time, the sections of the brain linked to stress and anxiety tend to become less dense. The proof that meditation really does work There's been growing scientific interest in meditation in the past decade and the research clearly supports the idea that meditation does work. Let's take a look at some key studies. A 2012 trial study by Goyal M et al. at Johns Hopkins University on more than 3,500 participants revealed that meditation could play a moderate role in managing cortisol, the stress hormone known to create responses like disrupted sleep, impaired judgment, rise in depressive thoughts and anxiety. RELATED: Can't sleep? 14 fixes to get a good night's rest Another experiment by David M Levy et al. at the University of Washington found that mindful meditation can help reduce distractions and eliminate the tendency to multitask, thus helping individuals stay focused and feel more positive emotion regarding their task performance. “All the recent science-backed evidence shows that meditation really does work – if you’re consistent with your practice.” As for long-term benefits, meditation has been linked directly to a healthier and more preserved ageing brain. A study conducted by UCLA found that participants that practised meditation for an average of 20 years had more brain grey matter volume (responsible for processing information) than non-meditators. And a systematic literature review by Amy Gimson et al. at University of Southampton and University College London implied that meditation could be an essential aid to prevent or alleviate the symptoms of anxiety for individuals in their 40s or above, thus lowering the risk of cognitive impairment and dementia. So, how long before meditation starts to work? Several new meditators mistakenly assume that they will begin to experience the full benefits of meditation within a few days. Others think of meditation as an over-the-counter instant pain-relief medicine, or as a cure-all for all their problems. Using guided mediation apps work for many people shutterstock/Africa Studio The truth is that meditation is not the quick-fix one may be seeking, and there's no set time period for it to start ‘working’. In fact, while some beginners may start noticing certain benefits immediately, most people would need to practice meditation on a regular basis to be able to appreciate its advantages. RELATED: Meditation for beginners – our top 6 videos The key here is to not overthink it and select a suitable meditation practice which you can perform consistently. There’s no set time for how long you should meditate – it’s ideal to observe how long you can manage or feel the need to meditate, especially when you’re just starting out. It’s best to start small, and to not jump into extended meditation programs right away. Meditating for just three to five minutes has been proven to be beneficial. Finishing five-minute meditation sits initially for say, a week, will reward you with a feeling of accomplishment early on, allowing you to believe that you’re ready for longer meditation sessions. A 2012 study showed that meditating for 11 minutes regularly for eight weeks resulted in improved mood and sleep, lower levels of perceived stress and reduced depressive thoughts in patients with cognitive impairment, and their caregivers. “The truth is that meditation is not the quick-fix one may be seeking, and there's no set time period for it to start 'working'”. Indeed, so far other studies point to the idea that consistency of meditation – not necessarily the duration – is key for you to start experiencing its benefits. You may find even one meditation session to be incredible, but the real power comes from being able to keep at it every single day. A simple meditation technique that works Meditating is a simple process – it doesn’t require any magic tricks or hacks. All you need is a quiet place to sit in and concentrate. If you find it challenging to meditate amidst a chaotic day, we suggest a morning meditation upon waking is a calm and peaceful way to start your day before it becomes busy. RELATED: 5 strategies to help you develop a regular meditation practice Sit in a comfortable place – a chair or on a cushion on the floor – with your back straight. Set a timer for as many minutes you can conveniently meditate for and close your eyes. Now, try to relax your body and focus on your breath – inhaling and exhaling slowly. Do not try to curb away your thoughts. Instead, when a thought enters your mind – trivial as it may be – notice it, acknowledge the thought, and let it exit your mind. Go back to focusing on your breath. With time and practice, you’ll find it easier to keep thoughts and urges at bay, and your ability to concentrate will get stronger. Installing meditation apps on your phone may help you create a more suitable environment for meditation, and their guided meditations might make it easier for you to concentrate. Like we mentioned earlier, there’s no set rule or method for meditation, except that you should be consistent with your practice. The takeaway: does meditation really work? All the recent science-backed evidence shows that meditation really does work – if you’re consistent with your practice. If you’re still not convinced, we would encourage you to try it for yourself and experience the benefits. Start small, as we’ve suggested. Even finding the time to meditate for two to five minutes every day will enable you to train your brain. As Arianna Huffington, co-founder of Huffington Post – who has been meditating since she was 13 says: “starting with just five minutes of meditation every day will open the door to creating a powerful habit, and the many proven benefits it brings.” Main image: shutterstock/Koldunov Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

If you're feeling unhappiness in your work life, there are six things you need to find. Dee Marques explores how you can achieve them, becoming happier in the workplace and your career, while encouraging your colleagues to do the same. Work: we all need it, but given the chance, how many of us would willingly do it if we didn’t? Our work is the place where we often spend one third of our day, so how we feel about it can have a serious impact on our overall psychological well-being. But, as we'll see, unhappiness at work is actually commonplace. So, how we can change that? Studies confirm that being unhappy at work over a period of time is linked to feelings of hopelessness, depression, anxiety, stress and sleep problems, as well as higher chances of developing high blood pressure, heart disease, and digestive issues – so avoiding being miserable at work is a serious matter. However, sometimes we have to accept jobs we’d rather not be doing – the famous “but it pays the bills”. And, truth be told, few people would describe their work environment as being a truly happy place. Indeed, being dissatisfied and unhappy at work has become so common that finding joy in the workplace is almost seen as some sort of luxury. In fact, in the US, nearly half of the workforce claims to be unhappy at work, and the figure is almost identical in the UK, suggesting a happy workplace is uncommon. Unhappy at work? The 6 things you need to find What if achieving happiness at work was more than wishful thinking? If you find the going-back-to-work Monday Blues tends to extend over your entire working week, then read on for our six steps to achieving real happiness in your job. 1. Purpose Purpose is one of the most important factors when it comes to finding happiness at work. Indeed, purpose or meaning ranks high when it comes to achieving a joyful life in general, therefore it’s not surprising that the same applies to finding real happiness in your job, too. In fact, a feeling of purpose of life has been linked to higher motivation, commitment and productivity, all of which are positive emotional states that can contribute to happiness and, by extension, stop you being unhappy in your workplace. Purpose in careers, such as nursing, means happy work You can try to find purpose at work by thinking about what your job means when the greater good comes into the picture. If you're working in the 'helping' or 'saving' professions – a teacher, nurse, doctor, soldier, etc, then this shouldn't be difficult, but meaningful work isn't restricted to these types of professions. Sometimes it's not easy to discover the purpose in your work, but with just a bit of consideration, things become clear. Even work considered menial by others can have a greater purpose. For example, think about the people who built great European monuments, like cathedrals and bridges. Their work would have been physically demanding and they may not have loved it, but they built something that was enjoyed for many generations to come. If you're struggling to find meaning in your work, take some time to consider it more deeply. Furthermore, taking personal responsibility for your professional growth can also help you find meaning and purpose, so set your own goals and make sure they’re aligned with meaningful values. Indeed, if you can find an employer that shares your values, then you're on the way to becoming a happier employee. 2. Engagement Feeling that your work day is plagued by apathy, finding excuses to go on yet another coffee break, arriving late or leaving early, starting a task then jumping away to browse the web… do any of these things sound familiar? These are all signs of disengagement at work and should be addressed as they can lead to unhappiness, depression and even health-related issues. In fact, a 2015 Gallup survey shows that disengagement or feeling disconnected from work can lead to many health issues. For example, comparing engaged and disengaged employees in the United States, 56 per cent of the latter claimed to be stressed every day (compared with 36 per cent of those engaged), 23 per cent were more likely to be in pain (compared to 14 per cent), and 16 per cent more likely to be diagnosed with depression (compared to nine per cent). “A feeling of purpose has been linked to higher motivation, commitment, and productivity, all of which can stop you being unhappy in the workplace.” To stop this from taking away your chance of finding happiness in your career, try to find the source of disengagement. Maybe you feel that your skills are not used to the fullest, or you feel stuck in a rut. Set yourself some short and mid-term goals or new responsibilities and bring them up with your manager. When you do so, explain that you’d like to be challenged and do more for the company, as this is likely to be well received. 3. Kindness A kind workplace is a happy workplace, or has more chances of being so. Your relationship with coworkers is closely connected to overall job satisfaction, and if that relationship is strained or marked by hostility or competition, it can affect your emotions. This makes sense considering that you’re probably spending 40 hours a week – or more – in close contact. Staying engaged depends on your work satisfaction In fact, poor workplace relationships are one of the most common complaints and a leading cause of work-related stress and unhappiness on the job. It’s also worth mentioning that some studies have found that feeling lonely or isolated at work also has a negative impact on job performance. RELATED: Compassion at work Acts of kindness are an easy and quick way to build a positive work environment. Indeed, small gestures can go a long way. Going to the kitchen to make a drink? Make sure you ask your colleagues if they want anything too (and wipe clean the microwave while you're there, even if you didn't make the mess!). Heading on holiday? Bring a few treats back and leave them in the office kitchen or communal area. Small gestures of kindness create positivity and, in fact, boost productivity. “If you're unhappy at work, set yourself some short and mid-term goals or new responsibilities and bring them up with your manager.” Indeed, research from the Association of Professional Executives of the Public Service of Canada (APEX) showed that incivility has “profound implications on the level of energy, emotional engagement, and performance of work teams.” Its study found that teams in a respectful environment: Have 26 per cent more energy. Are 30 per cent more likely to feel motivated and enthusiastic about acquiring new skills and being exposed to new ideas. Express 36 per cent more satisfaction with their jobs and are 44 per cent more committed to their companies. 4. Flexibility The working world is becoming increasingly flexible with the growth of options like freelancing, working from home, job sharing, and the compressed working week. Of course, flexi-work comes with its pros and cons: key advantages include reduced commuting expenses and freedom to meet personal/family needs, while common downsides are learning to deal with distractions, isolation, and sticking to a schedule. However, importantly, flexibility at work can help achieve a good work-life balance and contribute to a happy workplace. Indeed, research studies have linked workplace flexibility to individual and team effectiveness, stress reduction, and greater commitment to the job. Balancing act: flexible working is on the up If you think more freedom and flexibility can help you can relieve your unhappiness at work, approach your employer to see how they feel about flexi-work, highlighting the benefits and your willingness to help create a happy workplace that is conducive to productivity. More and more employers are open to flexible working hours and realizing the potential it has for creating happy employees. Indeed, companies are now toying with the idea of introducing four-day working weeks, with some showing positive results in trials. There's emerging evidence that a compressed working week can boost both productivity and happiness in workers. For example, Pursuit Marketing in Glasgow, Scotland, switched 120 people to a four-day week in late 2016 and claims it has been key in a 30 per cent productivity rise. And in January 2019 the Wellcome Trust became the biggest UK employer to jump on the bandwagon when it announced it was considering switching 800 staff to a four-day working week. Let's hope this is one particular fad that catches on! 5. Appreciation Not feeling appreciated is one of the main reasons why people become unhappy and quit their jobs, as it can be both demoralising and frustrating. Not feeling appreciated at work can appear in many ways: your manager not paying attention to you, not being paid what you deserve, or not receiving credit for work (worse still: someone else taking credit for your ideas). Sometimes it can be the case that employers genuinely don't care about their employees, but it's better to first give the benefit of the doubt: often managers are so busy they haven't realised they've been neglecting you. If you're not feeling appreciated, you need to speak with them or human resources directly and ask for regular, six-month reviews to discuss how you're progressing in your role and the company. Kindness pays: be nice to colleagues and create a happy workplace Prepare well for your meeting and draw up a list of what you want to discuss and all your recent achievements (to jog your manager’s memory of your fantastic work), especially if you're going to ask for a pay rise. As well as discussing your strengths, do find out any areas where you can develop further. While you're waiting for your chance to shine, you can still show your appreciation for your coworkers, who may also be wondering how to be happy at work. This can help generate a more positive work atmosphere and create a happy workplace where people feel valued. The link between giving and happiness is well documented, since studies show that being generous increases personal happiness, and this includes giving intangible things like our time or appreciation for others. 6. Resilience Stress, uncertainty and unhappiness cannot be completely avoided in the workplace, so the best thing you can do is grow stronger to cope with professional setbacks. In other words, cultivate resilience. This doesn’t mean putting up with what you dislike, as this would only make you feel more disengaged, but rather to change your mindset. RELATED: Mindfulness at work Instead, focus on being adaptable and start practices like meditation and mindfulness, which can help you develop a more flexible frame of mind – the basis for resilience. In fact, any stress management technique can help build resilience, as you’ll be in control instead of letting workplace stressors take over your mood. You can also invest in activities that strengthen your inner self, whether than means going on a retreat, taking up yoga, or a creative hobby. Work and career unhappiness: final thoughts If you're struggling with feeling unhappy or miserable on the job, take your time to incorporate these six factors – which are some of the many building blocks of happiness – into your professional life. Take your time to work on purpose, engagement, kindness, flexibility, appreciation and resilience, and your efforts will pay off: finding happiness at work will also reflect in other aspects of your life. ● Main image: shutterstock/Pressmaster happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Stress management | Healthy habits | Burnout Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.