How to Find Happiness Within: 5 Ways to Build Inner Joy

True happiness comes from within, but it takes work. The good thing is, all of us can learn how to develop it. From cultivating resilience to showing gratitude, Sonia Vadlamani explores five science-backed techniques that build lasting inner happiness and joy.

 

For the longest time, I believed happiness to be something that came from outside – like getting a promotion at work, traveling to a dream destination with my partner, or purchasing something from my wishlist. And yes, indeed, these events do make me happy. 

 

But in reality I find I’m actually much happier on the days I have some quality “me time” to enjoy all my favourite leisure activities and connect with the people I love. This observation, coupled with research on happiness, helped me understand the simple and profound truth: happiness comes from within – happiness is an inside job.

 

This holds true for most of us: while external events can definitely make us joyful, we also have inherent values and needs that we derive happiness from just the same. The best part? We don’t need to wait for external outcomes to feel content; we just need to learn how to tap into these sources of lasting happiness. 

 

Indeed, happiness is a choice, and science shows that true happiness comes from within, consistently and reliably, when we take small, intentional steps to achieve it, every single day.

 

What does it mean to find happiness within?

When we talk about finding inner happiness, we refer to what researchers in positive psychology call “internal happiness”, or a steady sense of well-being and contentment that stems from within and doesn’t rely on external circumstances. Unlike the fleeting happiness that we experience from external events like winning some money on the lottery or attending a concert, intrinsic happiness isn’t temporary, but rather a stable foundation for contentment and peace of mind.

Where does happiness come from? Start the search within...

In contrast, external happiness relies heavily on outside events, possessions and achievements. While these are undeniably necessary for life satisfaction, they only tend to boost our mood and improve happiness levels temporarily. 

In fact, a study of Stanford student-athletes living under immense pressure revealed that intrinsic factors like mindfulness, self-restraint, and self-esteem were stronger predictors of happiness than external factors such as playing time and scholarships.

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Another study by researchers Christopher P Niemiec et al. suggests that while the quest for external happiness alone can adversely impact well-being, focusing on intrinsic happiness benefits one’s psychological health, emphasizing the need for balance between external and internal forms of happiness. 

 

“Developing mindful awareness is key to finding happiness within yourself, as savoring the 'now' requires us to pay attention to events unfolding around you.”

 

These findings highlight the need to develop traits that can help us find true happiness from within, enabling us to navigate life’s uncertainties better and build resilience. It’s also important to know that happiness can’t always stem entirely from within, especially for someone with a mental health condition like depression or anxiety, who may need to seek professional help for managing their condition and finding relief. 

 

How to Find Happiness Within Yourself

The quest for finding happiness within yourself doesn’t mean ignoring external events and life milestones, but rather developing skills and practices that help maintain a sense of peace and inner contentment even through challenging times. 

 

So, here are five science-backed ways to help you learn how to find happiness within yourself. Incorporate them into your life one at a time to help build long-lasting joy and contentment. 

 

1. Learn to live fully in the present 

A Harvard study that tracked the thoughts and moods of 2,250 participants found that humans spend nearly 47% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re doing, and that this impacts happiness. Published in Science, this research corroborated a profound truth: the human capacity to capture joy depends largely on being present in the moment.  

Indeed, research suggests that ruminating over the past or worrying about the future can fuel negativity and reduce life satisfaction. On the other hand, immersing ourselves fully in the present – wholly engaging with the task at hand – regulates our nervous system and enables a flow state characterized by complete absorption. This can further help instill a sense of control, putting a stop to repetitive thoughts.

Develop mindful awareness (and increased happiness) through breathwork

 

Indeed, developing mindful awareness is key to building inner happiness, as savouring the “now” requires us to pay attention to the events unfolding around you. 

 

Simple mindfulness practices that can help improve your mood and elevate inner happiness levels include:

• focusing on your breathing.
• tuning into what you see, hear and feel at the moment, like eating, walking and doing daily chores.
• gently bringing your attention back to the present moment when it wanders (it will).
• setting time aside for mindfulness meditation. 
   

2. Practice radical acceptance

If being mindful pertains to developing awareness, acceptance is how we process and respond to this awareness, especially when faced with failure, loss or imperfections. Indeed, a comprehensive review of six correlated studies by researchers Daniel T Cordaro et al. suggests that inner contentment is a distinct positive emotion that is central to overall well-being and happiness. 

 

Embracing life as it is, therefore, is a crucial requirement for how happiness comes from within. This endeavor requires us to be aware of and accept the various emotions, imperfections, fears, and desires that make us all essentially human.

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Radical acceptance relies on practicing self-compassion, which means treating yourself with the same kindness you would show a good friend during a difficult time. It also involves understanding that errors and failure are a part of being human, not personal flaws. 

 

Here are some ways to practice radical awareness and self-compassion:

• Be kind to yourself. Evaluate your feelings with a gentle approach, not harsh self-judgment.
• When you notice a mistake or flaw, approach the emotions with kind observance and speak to yourself with genuine warmth.
• Remember that you’re not alone in your struggles – everyone faces challenge in their lives.
• Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes and limitations. 
   

3. Cultivate inner resilience

Resilience, or the capacity to recover from difficult situations and adapt to life's challenges, is a key predictor for finding happiness within yourself. In fact, a study by researchers Steven M. Southwick et al. revealed that resilient individuals don’t encounter fewer challenges in life; they simply react to them differently. 

 

Therefore, your ability to adapt to adversities and overcome challenges can be the answer to how to find inner happiness and well-being. The first step toward developing resilience is reframing your perspective about life’s uncertainties and embracing the unknown. Resilient people look at difficulties as opportunities to learn, not threats to their happiness, and are adept at ‘lemonading’ – making the best of the situation at hand. 

 

“Individuals who understand that true happiness comes from within are also more resilient and more capable of bouncing back from life’s trials.”

 

Adopting a growth mindset is another crucial aspect of resilience. Challenge yourself by stepping out of your comfort zone and attempting something that feels uncomfortable. Also, remember to celebrate small wins by tuning your mind to recognize and enjoy the smallest efforts and progress, instead of waiting to celebrate loftier milestones.

 

4. Develop a gratitude routine

There’s more to gratitude than just saying thanks – emerging research suggests it’s a powerful practice that can help rewire our brains to weed out toxic emotions and significantly improve our happiness levels.

How to find happiness from within? Keep a gratitude journal

A study at University of California, Berkeley, involving 300 participants seeking mental health counseling revealed that the mental health benefits of gratitude practice can be experienced even when it's not communicated to others. While the benefits of gratitude – like improved inner happiness, reduced mental stress, and an optimistic outlook – take time to emerge, they create a positive snowball effect with consistent practice.

 

To cultivate an attitude of gratitude, try these things daily:

• Write down three things you’re grateful for in your gratitude journal.
• Express gratitude to people you’re thankful for having in your life.
• Acknowledge moments of kindness and beauty throughout the day. 
• Set time aside to practice gratitude meditation to truly appreciate all the things you’re thankful for.

 

5. Nurture meaningful connections

While true happiness comes from within, we’re essentially social beings, and having close relationships is a fundamental need for a long, healthy life. Spending time with those you care for helps release happiness hormones, namely serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin. These are also released when you exercise, so in a way, spending quality time with your loved ones is almost as beneficial as getting a workout. 

To strengthen your relationships:

• Practice mindful listening and empathy. Really hear others out without judgment or bias.
• Trust your close friends and family enough to share your authentic self, and avoid the vulnerability hangover trap.
• Show up consistently, whether to celebrate their wins or be a shoulder to lean on during tough times.
• Connect over activities you collectively enjoy, like hiking, volunteering or joining a book club.

Where does happiness come from? Friends are a key source

 

Inner Happiness: Clear Health Benefits

The happiness derived from savoring life’s small joys is also associated with several other positive outcomes considered the “hallmarks of a happy person”, such as long-lasting relationships, more successful careers, and better health. 

Individuals who understand that true happiness comes from within are also more capable of bouncing back from life’s trials and uncertainties with better stress-management and decision-making abilities. In essence, the ability to tap into inner happiness helps us experience more positive emotions and achieve more favorable outcomes in terms of success and improved life satisfaction.

 

Takeaway: Happiness Comes From Within

Happiness is a journey, and while the path to inner happiness isn’t easy, it is accessible to everyone. As demonstrated by the ample research above, everyone has the ingredients necessary to cultivate lasting joy within ourselves – the practices discussed here simply help you uncover and nurture the happiness that already exists within you.

 

Indeed, in a world that constantly tells us happiness is bound to result from the next purchase or milestone, finding happiness within yourself is a practical and responsible step towards ensuring your well-being. ●

Images: feodorina, Peopleimages.com - Yuri A, Oksana Klymenko, Jacob Lund
 

Written by Sonia Vadlamani

Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.