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Members of the press often refer to August as 'silly season' as there tends to be fewer items that are seen as being genuinely newsworthy. As such, 'silly' stories get more coverage. However, there was plenty of positive news in August too. Here's Ed Gould's top ten pick from the month... 1. Free Sanitary Products for All Students In a move that's not been seen anywhere in the world before, Scotland has become the first country to provide free sanitary products for anyone in full-time education. This means that schoolgirls and higher education students are able to access these products cost-free. According to The Scotsman, the move will cost the Scottish government up to £5.2 million but will be of huge assistance to girls and young women who come from low income families and who, consequently, cannot always afford sanitary items when they are studying. 2. Revolution in Painkilling Announced Dealing with pain is a major medical and scientific project. The problem is that so many painkillers on the market are derived from opioids and are, consequently, highly addictive. According to Live Science, a team of researchers in Japan and US have discovered an alternative which is effective and non-addictive. AT-121 has seen some successful trials and will soon be tested on humans, it's hoped. What's more, the drug is considered to be safe with respect to respiratory side effects, something that's associated with other sorts of painkilling medications. 3. Move Against Fishing Nets In the Pipeline It's often reported that plastic in the ocean is detrimental to the world's wildlife but it's not so commonly stated that much of the sea's plastic comes from fishing nets. According to One Green Planet, nearly half of the material that swirls around the ocean is derived from such netting. Thankfully, the United Nations has positive news for the oceans because its Food and Agriculture Organisation has agreed that such nets should be tagged in future so that those who release them can be held accountable for the pollution they cause. Net gains: fishing tools like these could soon be tracked 4. China Hits Pollution Reduction Targets The Independent reported in August that researchers from the University of East Anglia have presented a report that offers environmental hope with regards to China's increasing industrialisation. The country has long-committed to carbon reduction and other ecological measures but many have thought that it would continue to pollute heavily for years to come. According to the researchers' work, China has achieved its environmental goals 12 years ahead of schedule and emissions are said to have peaked as far back as 2013. That must be positive news for environment campaigners who have little leverage in the country. 5. The End of Plastic Bags? They might be convenient, but plastic bags lead to waste and landfill sites filling up unnecessarily. In the UK, the government announced in August that its levy on the sale of plastic bags could rise to 10p – instead of the current 5p – and even be extended to small and independent shops. In New Zealand, CNN reported that the government is even more proactive and that it will look to ban the use of single-use plastic bags entirely to protect the environment. The move has the backing of the Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, and may come as early as 2019. 6. Fruit Found to Improve Memory In Scientific Study According to a study published in the US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health, combining blueberries with grapes can have a beneficial effect on those who suffer from memory loss. As well as the happiness they cause by tasting good, the polyphenols in both fruits were found to improve 'episodic memory' among elderly people who had already been diagnosed with lower than usual memory function. A total of 215 volunteers took part in the research which compared those who consumed the two types of fruit with those who took a placebo. Berry good: combining blueberries with grapes could boost memory 7. Theme Park Trains Birds to Clear Away Rubbish Trained animals are nothing new, but a story from August demonstrated that even birds can be used to carry out tasks like picking up litter. A French theme park has been using rooks to pick up rubbish in order to keep the place clear of litter for some years. Recently, the squadron of litter pickers was expanded to six birds. They place the litter into a bin and are rewarded for their efforts with food, which means the happiness of the park's attendees and the rooks is maintained. 8. Mindfulness Continues to Grow in Popularity Thanks to Science Although a piece in Medical News Today acknowledged something of a backlash against mindfulness in some quarters, it argued that the practice continues to be taken up not because it's a fad, but because it's backed by scientific research. The story, which was published to counter some claims about mindfulness made in The New York Times, pointed out many studies which have highlighted the usefulness of mindfulness in work and private lives, especially those which looked in to people who had been using mindful techniques for eight weeks or more. The article argued that mindfulness was good for focus, stress reduction and emotional well-being, among other benefits. Hocus Focus? In fact, mindfulness is backed by scientific research 9. New Song Shown to Reduce Anxiety According to the British Academy of Sound Therapy, neuroscience has demonstrated that listeners to certain types of audio stimulation can feel less anxious as a result. To that end, researchers there wrote a new song called 'Weightless' which provided listeners with the sort of stimulation they need to help relax. As reported by Good News Network, the hope is to use it in clinical situations where anxiety relief is desirable. 10. Churches Leads With Uptake of Renewable Energy The Church of England has announced that many of its churches and cathedrals will run exclusively on renewable energy from now on. The Guardian reported in August that the move was coordinated with churches of other denominations, such as those of the Methodist and Catholic faiths. In all, over 5,500 churches in the UK will take part in the scheme which will see them use electricity that has been generated from sources other than fossil fuels. Praise be! ● Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He is a practitioner of Reiki.

Is it possible to look at challenges and failures as the foundation to personal growth and excellence? Sonia Vadlamani explains why it’s OK to fail sometimes and how to claim back power when you’re feeling defeated by life. Although there are few certainties in this existence, unfortunately we do know this: life can defeat us sometimes. No matter how meticulously we plan things or try to predict every outcome, the possibility of failures and disappointment in life cannot be entirely ruled out. Indeed, all of us find ourselves feeling defeated by life at some point. You may flunk an important exam or interview, a fight may ensue with a best friend who misunderstood your well-intended remark, or your boss may pass up what seemed like a brilliant idea in favor of a seemingly ridiculous suggestion by your colleague. Life is called the school of hard knocks for a reason, after all. I know this from experience. I found myself at the end of my wits during my college years, when I realized the complexity of engineering, which my parents had pressurized me to pursue. No matter how hard I tried, the concepts seemed to elude my grasp and it looked like I’d have to repeat a year. For someone who belongs to a family of academics, being an under-performer was a subject of great humiliation and embarrassment for me and my parents, not to mention the high cost of education itself. Feeling defeated? Break free from the shackles of fear Although I did have to take a re-exam for three subjects, it was actually this setback that helped me realize one of the greatest life lessons of my life. That we are not defined by our failures and defeats, but how we spring back, and the experiences we gather from these setbacks. Consequently, this realization enabled me to excel in my academic subjects as I tried harder and broadened my understanding of the subjects. The result? I passed the final grade with scholastic distinction. RELATED: Sailing the world – 5 lessons I've learned “If you want light to come into your life, you need to stand where it is shining,” stated Guy Finley, the renowned philosopher and self-help writer. Indeed, if we give up without trying to push beyond our embarrassments or fear of failure, we’d never know what lies outside of our comfort zone and what we could truly achieve. When you’re feeling defeated it is essential to prevail and resume your power. Feeling defeated: 9 ways to take back power Although this may seem unimaginable when you’re feeling defeated, it is possible to overcome this terrible feeling and to reclaim your power. While some of the following ideas may offer instant results in terms of elevated mood and alleviated stress levels, the others require more consistent efforts over a longer duration of time. So, here are nine ways you can take back power and move forward when you are feeling defeated. 1. Acceptance: allow yourself to feel It’s important to lean into your feelings periodically and acknowledge to yourself that you are an ‘emotional creature’. In fact, being aware of your thoughts and labelling your emotions can improve your ability to manage negative emotional experiences, according to a 2007 study by Lieberman et al. Indeed, a proven way to improve your emotional wellness – especially when you’re feeling defeated – is to accept these feelings instead of suppressing or avoiding them, and consciously channel them in a productive and beneficial manner, thus developing emotional agility. Being emotionally agile implies one’s ability to sit with their feelings and thoughts, be they positive (for example, joy, hope, serenity) or negative (fear, anger, sadness). It means accepting feelings in a compassionate manner, without getting derailed or overwhelmed by them. A study by Frank Bond from the Goldsmiths University London revealed that emotional agility can help ease stress, improve accuracy and boost innovation and creativity in individuals. 2. Self-compassion: imagine what you’d say to a friend Most of us readily extend kindness and warmth to others in their times of hardship yet fail to do the same with ourselves when we’re feeling defeated. According to Dr Kristin Neff, the psychologist who first created a scale to measure self-compassion as a construct, humans often mistakenly assume that compassion towards self induces weakness and has an adverse impact on our goals and productivity. “A proven way to improve your emotional wellness – especially when you’re feeling defeated – is to accept these feelings instead of suppressing them.” Dr Neff recommends practising self-compassion by treating oneself as they’d treat a friend. Positive self-talk plays an important role, especially during adverse situations. So, instead of saying “I’m so lame!” or “What an idiot I’ve made of myself” during a setback, instead, practise saying, “I’m so glad I tried my hand at something new” or, I’m proud of myself for doing this wholeheartedly”. 3. Stop catastrophizing Do you often find yourself jumping to wrong conclusions or blaming yourself for something when you really weren’t at fault? As sentient beings we always try to make sense of events around us, but sometimes our brains devise ‘shortcuts’ and create interpretations which are not entirely precise. This tendency to catastrophize or assume the worst in an unpleasant situation is a result of cognitive distortion pattern known as magnification, wherein our brains blow one disturbing event out of proportion, giving rise to unfavorable conditions like depression and anxiety. RELATED: Feeling blue or clinically depressed? The 4 things you should look out for Luckily, it’s possible to avoid this unhelpful thinking style and opt for more balanced ways of evaluating a situation. Instead of obsessing about what happened and what may further go wrong, take stock of the situation by consciously restructuring your thought patterns. Practising mindfulness can help you reframe your thoughts based on factual procession of events, resulting in improved decision-making. 4. Incorporate gratitude Gratitude plays an important role in improving one’s mental health, especially when you are feeling defeated by life. The simple act of listing down things you appreciate in your life in a gratitude journal can boost resilience and prevent toxic emotions, thus reducing the risk of conditions like stress and depression. What’s more, a study by Prathik Kini et al revealed that practising gratitude can have lasting effect on the brain – it can rewire it, equipping you to deal better with adversities in life. Writing a gratitude journal can boost your resilience shutterstock/Sergey Saulyak 5. Shift your mindset/change perspective When you’re feeling defeated by life, you could be misled into believing that you possess limited talents, also known as the fixed mindset. Psychologist Carol Dweck contrasted fixed mindset with growth mindset, wherein individuals believe that they can achieve their goals by honing their talents and advancing their skill set. Interestingly, those with growth or abundance mindset tend to achieve more, as they concentrate more on learning and taking action towards their goals. Developing a ‘can-do attitude’ allows you to look at obstacles as steppingstones or necessary doses of personal growth instead of failures. 6. Understand the power of ‘small wins’ It’s understandable that you may want to get back up on your feet and set out to chase lofty goals when you’re feeling defeated. Instead, it would be wiser to set small, incremental goals to ensure you achieve them without getting overwhelmed or frustrated. A study published by Harvard Business Review revealed that the quality of a person’s inner work life – or a mix of their emotions, perceptions, and purpose – was the most important driver of their creative pursuits and productivity. “Most of us readily extend kindness and warmth to others in their times of hardship yet fail to do the same with ourselves when we’re feeling defeated.” Start by asking yourself if you can try breaking your goals into smaller sections called ‘systems’ and further into sets of actionable daily tasks that you can track periodically. Small wins tend to activate your brain’s circuitry, and the constant motivation results in release of dopamine and testosterone, thus boosting your confidence. Indeed, you may be amazed to find that these micro-successes executed daily can lead to major breakthroughs. 7. Take regular breaks While taking time to pause when you’re working on something important may seem counterintuitive, researchers agree that taking regular breaks can improve productivity and prevent stress. A 2016 study by Kim, Park and Niu revealed that even micro-breaks or small interventions can prevent the onset of negative affective state of mind at the end of the workday. Indeed, taking small, regular breaks to chat with someone around or getting yourself a glass of water in midst of a busy day can avert the possibility of you feeling defeated in the long run. 8. Stay healthy with exercise Not only does regular exercise strengthen your heart health and keep diseases at bay, but being physically active can even bring long-lasting change for your brain and mind. Working out regularly can make you more receptive to positive feelings like joy, boost your mood and motivation levels and relieve stress. Indeed, staying healthy through regular exercise and including wholesome, gut-friendly foods in your diet can help you overcome the blues, especially when you’re feeling defeated. Working out makes you more receptive to positive feelings shutterstock/mimagephotography 9. Create your life vision A foolproof way to regain power when you’re feeling defeated by the hardships you’ve faced is to understand your purpose in life and create your life vision accordingly. Jen Sincero, a success coach and the author of bestselling Badass Habits stresses on the importance of living fearlessly by ‘aligning’ one’s actions with their deepest desires and goals. Doing this allows you to make the shift from ‘wanting’ to ‘deciding’ to change your life for the better with utmost tenacity. Takeaway: feeling defeated It’s important to understand that pain and suffering from failures in life don’t define us, and that the ability to claim back power lies within us. Directing consistent efforts towards assuming this inherent power can help you avoid the mental trap of self-blame and frustration, allowing you to grow and realize your true potential. • Main image: shutterstock/Overearth happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Positive psychology | Life purpose | Motivation Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Extending happiness to those around us is likely to make us happier, too. Sonia Vadlamani explores ideas for spreading love and happiness, and the positive payoff this can deliver. Most of us wait for happiness to chance upon us, be it through a raise at work, finding love or a favorable event. Truth is, happiness is a choice and choosing to maintain a happy vibe constantly takes some dedicated effort and mental training on our behalf. However, what if it were easier to boost your levels of happiness by the way of simply spreading love and happiness around us? Researchers agree that happiness moves in clusters through groups of people and communities. Indeed, in our technology-driven and screen-obsessed era, sometimes we forget that it’s not all about us and that we may need to put back the love and happiness we expect to receive from the world. Therefore, it’s ideal to ingrain the message that happiness begets happiness, as having a more content social circle ensures that our own psychological needs are met with greater ease. Why spread love? “When we feel love and kindness towards others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace,” said His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama. Indeed, spreading love and happiness can help us do better and feel better at the same time, as happier people are more helpful. Focusing on creating happiness for others also allows us to attract better outcomes for ourselves, inspiring us to follow our bliss and fulfill our purpose in life. Spreading love to others helps ourselves find peace, too Extending love to others can also aid us in resolving inner turmoil and letting go of resentment and hurt we may have harbored for a long time, enabling us to cultivate our authentic self. Spreading happiness is an effective way to counter negativity, avert hate and overcome prejudice through bridging our differences. 9 ways to spread love and happiness “Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier,” advocated Mother Teresa, the Nobel laureate renowned for her missionary work with the underprivileged. Spreading happiness need not call for grand gestures or extravagant effort. In fact, committing to carry out random acts of kindness is one of the easiest ways to increase happiness around you, research suggests. Here are nine more research-backed suggestions for advocating love and happiness. 1. Strike up a conversation Humans are wired to reach out and seek connections, and the inability to form fulfilling social bonds can create ‘social pain’. This can affect our behavior and outcomes in the same capacity as physical pain, according to Matthew Lieberman, scientist and author of the bestseller book Social. Yet, it can be difficult to start a conversation with strangers, even if you’re simply doing it with the intention to be nicer. RELATED: How to keep connecting with strangers during the pandemic Striking a conversation – be it in the form of a casual complement to a stranger or a healthy discussion with a group of like-minded individuals – can be the key to spreading happiness, as it can put others at ease and establish a connection. It can possibly also help you tap into the power of friendship. However, remember to indulge in positive communication and being respectful, especially when conversing with strangers. 2. Listen without judgment Do you remember feeling supported and understood when you could vent your feelings without judgment and distractions from others? Indeed, offering someone our undivided attention and avoiding the temptation to jump in mid-flow to impose our perspectives can be an effective way of spreading love and happiness. “Spreading love and happiness can help us do better and feel better at the same time. Focusing on creating happiness for others also allows us to attract better outcomes for ourselves.” Sometimes, it helps to take a ‘helicopter view’ of a scenario and remind ourselves that everyone around us maybe going through a struggle of their own, unbeknownst to us. A withdrawn neighbor could be overwhelmed at work, a server who seemed preoccupied today could be dealing with adult bullying, or a friend who has lately been seeming reclusive might be trying to deal with their depression. Practising mindful listening enables us to withhold snap judgments and view a situation from a different, more helpful vantage point. Also, nurturing an age-gap friendship can be a great way to broaden our perspectives and drop any unwanted, pre-conceived notions we may have, in addition to building a mutual support system. 3. Express gratitude An attitude of gratitude can change our lives for the better, according to research. Expressing thankfulness and being appreciative of good things in our lives can help improve relationships with others, lower stress levels and enable better decision making. Choosing gratitude also allows us to cultivate an abundance mindset and tap into our intuition with greater ease. There are several effective ways to practise gratitude, which include keeping a gratitude journal, using visual reminders, formulating gratitude affirmations or simply incorporating gratitude yoga into your daily schedule. 4. Be supportive Our encouraging words and supportive behavior can create a butterfly effect on others, highlighting our ability to create a positive impact in their life. Practise offering constructive criticism whenever you wish to offer useful feedback, albeit in a compassionate manner. A simple hug can spread kindness and love shutterstock/BRO.vector Helping someone cope with holiday grief or somebody having a panic attack, being there for someone recovering from addiction are some of the ways of spreading love by being supportive. Indeed, the simple act of hugging can sometimes offer greater mental benefits than words of encouragement. 5. Indulge in small acts of kindness While volunteering and charity require you to offer your skills and resources for furthering a good cause, there are several easy ways to choose kindness every day, most of which don’t demand a lot of time or effort on your behalf. Spreading love is possible through small gestures, like leaving a bigger tip than expected, holding the lift door open for others, or offering a nutritious meal to a lesser-privileged person. 6. Practise self-compassion While we remember to acknowledge others’ needs and successes, we often forget to validate our own accomplishments. Spreading love and happiness becomes easier when you are kind to yourself and recognize your own worth fully well. Learning to embrace your imperfections and practising self-compassion is important for your well-being, as well as for spreading love around. 7. Stop worrying about others Sometimes, we mistakenly identify excessive worrying and attachment to an outcome as love. However, worrying keeps us hyper-alert against signs of threat. Unfortunately, excessive worrying also thwarts creativity, messes with our goals and can possibly result in trust issues. “Spreading love is possible through small gestures, like leaving a tip, holding the lift for others, or offering a nutritious meal to a lesser-privileged person.” I hail from an Indian family with relatively modern values and an independent outlook, yet it was typical for my parents to worry about my future, life-choices, academic performance and career, etc. While they meant well and assumed that all the excessive worrying was a manifestation of their love for me, I noticed that whenever my parents worried over me, my stress levels would rise. The first step in resolving this could be to stop misidentifying worrying as an expression of love, recognizing that it’s counterproductive, and could even lead to self-sabotaging relationships. I had to finally convince my parents that while I appreciated their kindness and caring, the weight of their worrying was far too burdensome and was adversely impacting my mental health. 8. Learn to relax Have you found yourself juggling too many roles, or nearing a burnout, perhaps due to uncertainty fueled by the COVID-19 pandemic? The key to spreading happiness could lie in devising a better work-life balance and making relaxation a part of your daily schedule as well. Introducing mindfulness at work and taking regular short breaks can aid in boosting your productivity levels and enable improved stress management. Reconnecting with nature periodically with something as simple as gazing at the stars, fishing or forest bathing can help you replace your worries with a sense of rejuvenation and wonder. 9. Learn a life skill (and then teach others) Spreading happiness is possible by using learning and teaching to connect with like-minded people. In fact, learning contributes to happiness and is a powerful way to build a strong network of people and resources. Teaching an essential skill like performing first-aid or CPR, or sharing your know-how regarding a simple hobby like gardening or knitting could make you better equipped to seek and provide social support. Takeaway: spreading love and happiness In the words of Buddhist activist Thich Nhat Hanh, “Learn the art of making one person happy, and you will learn to express your love for the whole of humanity and all beings.” Indeed, researchers point out that happiness is a contagion that can pass from one person to another, through large social networks. Since happiness is a collective phenomenon, spreading love and happiness can boost the well-being quotient for others as well as ourselves. • Main image: shutterstock/BRO.image happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Altruism | Compassion | Happiness Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

Incorporate the power of visualization into your meditation practice. Ann Vrlak explains the benefits of using your imagination while meditating and guides you in two practices. Visualization meditation is an enjoyable and powerful way to harness your imagination in meditation. This form of meditation is different from visualization itself. Here’s how. You may have heard that elite athletes like the swimmer Michael Phelps or basketball legend Michael Jordon have used visualization. They both learned to visualize themselves achieving a particular goal: finishing the freestyle in World Record time or sinking a winning three-pointer just before the buzzer. RELATED: 8 manifestation techniques But why? Well, these sports stars were able to capitalize on an interesting fact about the brain. It can’t always distinguish between something you imagine you're doing and something you’re actually doing. The same neurons fire in your brain in either case, so visualizing the activity in your mind makes it much easier to do in reality – because your brain has already practised it! Amazing, eh? That’s visualization, and you can see why it’s a common tool for people who want to excel in their field. So, what is visualization meditation? Visualization meditation is different. It uses this considerable power of visualization in service of a traditional meditative goal such as developing concentration or compassion, or connecting with a peaceful, space inside yourself. Using visualization during meditation can enhance your practice For example, I use visualization meditation a lot with children because their imagination is so accessible to them. It gives them a fun way to visualize and understand abstract concepts, like freedom or focus or peacefulness. And, for many adults, visualization meditation changes a black and white experience to one in vivid, 3D colour. This practice helps to evoke the emotional and sensory aspects of your experience. It’s markedly different, for example, to think about the concept of loving-kindness in the abstract than to feel loving-kindness for your partner or your beloved pet, isn’t it? The visualization helps you to connect with the experience beyond the concept. That’s the key. “For many adults, visualization meditation changes a black and white experience to one in vivid, 3D colour.” This form of meditation is a helpful bridge to the many people who find the mental focus of meditation difficult. For them, the instruction to focus on their breath or a mantra or on silence itself is too abstract – they don’t grasp what they need to do. However, visualization meditation allows you to use skills you’re familiar with to learn something unfamiliar. Benefits of visualization meditation The benefits of visualization meditation, especially if you practice with some regularity, are the same as other meditation practices: Increased focus Reduction in anxiety and stress, and even depression Resting and rejuvenating your nervous system Increasing energy and boosting the immune system Better sleep More self-compassion and empathy for others Visualization meditations you can try Here are two visualization meditations that use traditional meditation concepts: observing thoughts and emotions in a non-judgmental way, and deepening compassion for yourself and others. 1) Non-judgmental observation This relaxing meditation helps you visualize the concept of non-judgmental observation as a peaceful river. It goes like this. Close your eyes and imagine yourself lying comfortably on the banks of a slow-moving river. Create a scene that you find beautiful and safe, somewhere you can imagine yourself feeling totally at home and relaxed. Fill in the scene with as much sensory information as you can. What colours do you see around you, in the trees, in the sky, in the river itself? Do you hear birds or wind in the trees? How does the earth feel beneath you, and what do you feel on your skin? Now, imagine yourself sitting up and watching the river. You begin to see leaves, twigs and other objects floating by. You watch them come slowly out of the distance into view, and then disappear as they float away down the river. Try not to become attached to any particular object. Just notice them and let them continue on their way down the river. And imagine that your thoughts and emotions are on this river, too. They come from the distance, flow into your mind, stay for a moment and then slowly drift out of view. Play around with this image for a while. Watch how parts of your experience come and go, including any questions you have about the visualization or how you’re doing it right or wrong. These thoughts too appear and then move on, when you let them be. Notice that you’re on the shore watching all these things come and go, essentially unaffected by them. Continue doing this practice for as long as it feels enjoyable. When you’re done, reflect on this visualization meditation and your direct, sensory experience of having objectivity on your thoughts and feelings. How did it feel? Do you think this meditation could help you when you are anxious, angry or depressed? Imagining nature and colour during meditation shutterstock/RangArt 2) Loving-kindness Another practice you can try is a loving-kindness meditation to grow your compassion for yourself and others. Again, find a comfortable position lying down or sitting up, and close your eyes. Think about a challenge or difficulty you’re having right now, something that is upsetting you or causing a conflict with someone. Just for a moment, feel the upset or conflict. Breathe slowly and deeply. As you feel the situation, say these words yourself silently or out loud, as sincerely as you can: May I be happy. May I feel safe from harm. May I accept myself just as I am. May I be peaceful and at ease. Do your best to really feel the words: what it feels like to be happy, or safe, or self-accepting. Use your senses again to make this experience come to life, with what you see and hear and taste and smell. Genuinely wish these things for yourself and feel them. When you’re ready, begin to extend this loving-kindness to a person or people you care about. May my daughter Sarah be happy. May my brother Steve feel safe from harm. Or: May everyone in my family be happy. May everyone in my family be peaceful and at ease. See these people in vivid 3D, experiencing these aspects of loving-kindness that you wish so deeply for them. Let these experiences fill your being. And if these particular phrases don’t feel quite right for you, feel free to change them until they do. But, try them first, even if they feel a bit awkward. Most people pre-judge loving-kindness meditation before they even try it! Finally, if you’re one of the many people who finds it easier to care for others than themselves, you can start this meditation thinking about others, and then finish with directing loving-kindness toward yourself. You may find this easier. The wrap: visualization meditation If you’re someone who has found meditation a difficult or dry, unhelpful mental exercise, visualization meditation may be just what you need. We are multi-dimensional creatures, after all, and our emotions and deeper perceptions are what many of us find bring meaning to who we are and what we do. RELATED: Tonglen meditation I hope you’ll try these practices or try incorporating visualization into different types of meditation practices. Use the sensory tools I’ve described here to create that multi-dimensional experience for yourself, rather than letting your attention do the heavy lifting in meditation. Enjoy the power of your imagination to deepen your understanding of yourself. • Main image: shutterstock/agsan drew happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to: ■ read our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Feeling connected to others in a world that's increasingly individualistic may seem challenging, but as Dee Marques explains, there are some simple intimacy exercises you can use to develop stronger bonds, deepen connections, and improve the quality of your relationships. There's little doubt that humans are social beings. Feeling close to others contributes to our overall feelings of happiness and fulfillment. Indeed, there are plenty of studies that confirm this from a scientific point of view. In fact, scientists believe our brains are hardwired to be social and that our development as a species relied on our ability to maintain strong bonds. But although we live surrounded by people, loneliness and isolation are still some of the biggest social challenges of the 21st century. Indeed, researchers have noted that one can have a wide social network and interact regularly with others and still feel lonely or disconnected. This suggests that intimacy is a key factor in the development of meaningful connections with others. So, here are five easy intimacy exercises that can help deepen the connection you have with your partner and all the other important people in your life. 1. Meditation Meditation is a fabulous tool that can help you achieve greater awareness and connection with the world that surrounds us. Several studies have found that regular meditation practice has a positive effect on close relationships and helps develop a stronger sense of intimacy. According to these studies, there are several reasons why meditation works: first of all, meditation makes us more accepting of our own flaws, so we can easily become more forgiving of others. Secondly, meditation improves our ability to separate thoughts from emotions and makes us less 'reactive', so we can continue working on developing closeness, despite ups and downs in our relationships. Meditation helps deepen connections with others Shou-yi is a lesser-known form of meditation that comes from the Taoist tradition. The name itself means “to embrace the one”, so it's easy to see why this intimacy exercise can help deepen a connection with others. Shou-yi brings to the forefront of your mind the fact that in one way or another, we are all interconnected and interdependent. This technique is also known as “quiet sitting” and involves contemplative meditation based on Taoist philosophy: Sit down with your back straight Visualise the five 'yin organs', or bodily parts where energy resides: the liver, heart, spleen, lungs and kidneys. This could be compared to a body scan meditation, where you focus on one body part at the time Each yin organ has a colour associated to it. Liver is azure, the heart is a vivid red, the spleen is yellow, lungs are white and kidneys are dark blue. Focus on the relevant colour as you move through each body part According to Taoist scriptures, these colours also correspond to the five elements: wood (azure), fire (red), earth (yellow), metal (white) and water (dark blue) Visualize the flow between body parts, colours and elements The goal of this technique is to achieve a deep insight into oneness and bring a deep sense of harmony between humans, the earth and the cosmos. Once you are in the 'oneness mindset', it becomes easier to look at the forest instead of getting distracted by the trees (other people’s habits and traits that bother us). After all, there is a reason why Taoist philosophy has been used for peacebuilding and conflict management purposes. 2. Loving-kindness meditation A second intimacy exercise to help deepen connection is loving-kindness meditation (LKM). The ultimate goal of LKM is to strengthen compassion, love and appreciation for other beings, so it's an ideal technique to improve intimacy. RELATED: How to improve intimacy – 9 techniques to try A study of people who practised loving-kindness meditation for six weeks showed a reduction in the negativity levels of their relationships. Furthermore, participants reported having a stronger support network and felt increased happiness. The technique is also simple: Find a quiet space and choose a comfortable position Create a mantra, which should include good wishes towards others (for example: "May I be happy, healthy and free from harm. May you be happy, healthy and free from harm") Repeat the mantra in six stages: first direct it towards yourself, next towards someone who has had a positive effect in your life, then towards a relative or friend, next towards someone you feel neutral or have an occasional conflict with, then towards someone you dislike, and lastly, towards all beings While you repeat the mantra, picture those good wishes physically going from you to other people Here's another example of a loving kindness meditation by Jack Kornfield 3. Gratitude The third exercise is writing gratitude letters. Letting people know we value them and care for them can improve our relationship with others, since we become more likely to overlook people’s flaws, lessening any chance of conflict and helping us achieve a better appreciation of other people’s value. Gratitude letters can deepen connection because our feelings of gratitude are directly shown to the other person. This intimacy exercise has a strong impact on the quality of the relationship, as well as a lasting effect that can span several weeks, as shown by studies at the University of Pennsylvania. Even if you don't send the letter, putting your gratitude in writing makes you more aware of your positive emotions and is bound to make you feel closer to others. “Writing gratitude letters as an intimacy exercise can deepen connection because our feelings of gratitude are directly shown to the other person.” Gratitude letters work because when we direct our attention to gratefulness, we automatically divert it from toxic or negative emotions. And as some researchers have found, the benefits multiply over time, since cultivating an ongoing gratitude practice causes changes in brain activity in areas related to decision-making, meaning that there is a link between gratitude feelings and how we act towards others. Say thanks: gratitude letters are a great intimacy exercise 4. Getting to know you exercise The fourth method on deepening connections is a 36-question exercise that you can use to understand others better and get a better picture of who they truly are. For this intimacy exercise, you'll need to set at least 45 minutes aside and take turns asking the questions that you can find here. RELATED: 6 types of intimacy and how to cultivate them Research at US universities has shown that this exercise is effective in helping deepen connection and closeness between people. This is because the exercise relies on mutual self-disclosure as opposed to small talk. Furthermore, it requires both sides to open up, providing a safe environment where there's no fear of feeling vulnerable or one-sided. 5. Mindful listening Devoting time to properly listening to others (instead of simply exchanging views or acknowledging information) is one of the best ways of showing we care for them. Mindful listening is an intimacy exercise that can also help increase empathy, because in doing so we get to understand better other people’s motives, needs and fears, gaining a more accurate picture of who they are as human beings. “Meditation practice has a positive effect on close relationships and helps develop a stronger sense of intimacy.” So, next time you have a conversation with a partner or friend, focus on what they're saying without judging or interrupting, and do your best to be present in the moment, being supportive and receptive. It's also useful to have some guidelines in mind: Suspend assumptions Suspend judgement Suspend status (communicate on an equal-to-equal basis) Honour confidentiality Honour silence Deep listening works because by not being judgmental and overlooking differences in opinion, others feel more inclined to trust us. Overall, mindful listening improves the quality of our relationships and sets a solid foundation for authentic interpersonal encounters. Listen and learn: deep listening equals deeper connections The benefits of deeper intimacy We live in a society that's increasingly individualistic, so it's always good to remember the benefits of crafting a deeper connection with others and of cultivating intimacy in relationships. The benefits are both physical and emotional: being able to connect with others at a deeper level generates empathy, which has been proven to give a sense of purpose and to strengthen the immune system. Other studies show that stronger connectedness with others is a key component of our support system, can lower stress and anxiety levels, and has been linked to lower heart disease rates. Of course, lasting closeness, intimacy and loyalty will not come automatically. There is no magic pill when it comes to deepening your connection with others, but the five intimacy exercises we have discussed here are a good starting point that can help your enjoy richer and more meaningful relationships. ● happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Relationship advice | Communication skills | Learning Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Positivity can often seem in short supply during the New Year and winter, but January was actually full of great news. Here's our regular Top 10 positive story round-up from Ed Gould. 1. US coal usage drops significantly Coal is one of the worst fossil fuels when it comes to both air quality and the release of carbon dioxide. And although the US has a leader who's open about his scepticism towards climate change, there is hope. Since 1979, coal consumption in the country has never been lower, according to 2018 data published by the US Energy Information Administration. Most coal is burned in the US in order to generate electricity and it's the growth in renewable and other sources of power that has led to the drop. 2. Coral reef stabilising after mass bleaching Marine life is never more delicate than when it uses coral reefs for its habitat. Four years ago, many people feared for the future of a beautiful stretch of coral in Hawaii following a mass bleaching, considered to be an environmental disaster. However, marine scientists have offered new hope thanks to their study which shows that the reef in question is starting to stabilise. It's regarded as the first step to the potential recovery of the underwater environment in the area. 3. Is rocking to sleep a cure for insomnia? According to Psychology Today, being rocked to sleep in a hammock or a similar device can help adults get to sleep. It's long been a technique for getting infants to drop off, of course, but a new study shows that the effects of rocking can work just as well with grown-ups. Not only do the scientists concerned think it's a good way to get to sleep, but it can help those who suffer from insomnia too, something that has to be positive news for anyone who's reading this late at night because they cannot get to sleep! Rock on: hammocks could help with sleep issues 4. Reduce your stress by thinking about those you love Thinking of loved ones can lead to sensations of happiness, especially if you can picture them in positive ways. However, it doesn't end there! A scientist from the University of Arizona studied over 100 cases where people were given a stressful task to complete. His work – published in the journal Psychophysiology – demonstrated that people who focussed on a mental image of their partner during their task were able to lower their blood pressure, thereby relieving any stress. In fact, the approach seemed to work just as well as those who actually had their partner present. 5. Uber rides with mindfulness Uber may be one of the world's best-known technology and transportation companies but its use of mindfulness is much less heard of. In January, the Independent reported that Uber had teamed up with Calm to produce a meditation app which its customers could make use of. The company said it wanted to provide travellers with a range of mindfulness exercises to help them relax during journeys. Uber's new app contains four different exercises that passengers can use according to the length of time they expect to be travelling. 6. Nepal has positive news for its tiger population The tiger is an icon of wildlife protection. Its numbers have been maintained only after extensive efforts to look after its habitats in Asia. However, Nepal has recently conducted a check of the numbers of wild tigers it has and come up with a rather surprising result. There are about twice as many as previously thought, with an estimated 235 big cats throughout the country. The cat's back: there are more tigers in Nepal than previously thought 7. Liver transplants could be revolutionised According to a report on the BBC, scientists have come up with a new procedure for conducting liver transplants. This, it's hoped, will help to speed up the rate at which they can be transplanted, helping to slash waiting times. Donated livers are normally chilled, which mean they can degrade. The new idea is to use perfusion machines in order to keep livers in good condition for longer, offering greater flexibility for finding suitable recipients. 8. New treatment being developed to tackle dementia As published in Science Daily, work by researchers at the University of Southern California has been conducted into a potential new treatment for dementia. The approach is designed to hone in on leaking capillaries in the brain, known to be an early sign of Alzheimer's Disease. The five-year study is ongoing but it hopes to enable sufferers to be identified at an earlier stage than is currently possible with treatments being administered sooner than they otherwise would be. 9. Mindfulness helps with menopausal symptoms The Daily Mail reported that scientists have been working on how mindfulness can help menopausal women to alleviate the worst of their symptoms. The Mayo Clinic in Minnesota conducted a study of over 1,700 women, asking them about their symptoms, stress levels and habits with mindfulness. The use of mindfulness was found to be positive in many aspects of the menopause, according to the chief researcher, Dr Richa Sood. Pause for thought: mindfulness could help the menopause 10. New technique may make chemotherapy more bearable A team of American medical researchers has been looking at how chemotherapy can be made more effective by concentrating it in the parts of the body. The idea is to insert tiny sponge-like materials into the patient's bloodstream so that the chemicals used in the therapies cannot pass through. The technique has been referred to as a 'chemofilter' and is something that could potentially improve the lives of many cancer sufferers. The study was conducted by Professor Nitash Balsara from the University of California at Berkley. ● Main image: shutterstock/everst Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and freelance writer. He's also a practitioner of Reiki.

Many people believe that mindfulness makes us happier. But how does mindful living improve our authenticity (sense of self), or our happiness? New research sheds light on some of these fascinating questions. Does mindfulness really make us happier? If you've been working on living a mindful life, you may instinctively want to answer yes. Perhaps you've reduced the stress in your life, or at least improved your ability to handle it. You may have focused your effort on the things that really matter to you. Or maybe you just feel a greater sense of confidence and comfort in yourself. Although many of us can feel the benefits in our lives, there hasn't been a lot of scientific evidence so far to back up these ideas. However, that's starting to change. New studies are shedding light not only on whether mindfulness affects psychological well-being but also how. Two recent studies from researchers in Australia and the United States have examined the ways in which mindfulness affects our sense of self and behaviour. Both studies provide fascinating insights into the ways in which mindful living can affect fundamental parts of our identity. Mindfulness and sense of self A 2016 study carried out by researchers at the University of Utah investigated the "self-concept clarity" of university students. Self-concept clarity (SCC) is the extent to which an individual has a clear definition of their own beliefs and traits which remain consistent over time. Individuals with high SCC have a strong sense of self – a clear image of who they are. This view isn't necessarily accurate, of course – SCC isn't the same thing as self-knowledge, but it's stable. “The evidence so far suggests that authenticity may be one of the most important connections between mindful living and well-being.” There is an association with high SCC, positive relationships, high self-esteem and a greater sense of independence. Not much is known about where exactly it comes from. However, this study suggests that the connection is with intentional and non-judgmental awareness. In other words, mindfulness. The study revealed that more mindful participants had greater SCC, and that both mindful living and strong sense of self were correlated with psychological well-being. In fact, the relation between a mindful disposition and well-being through SCC was higher than the correlation between mindfulness and well-being alone. The authors of the study conclude that mindful individuals may improve their well-being in several ways. These individuals avoid conflicting self-images, which can lead to distress. They may more frequently identify behaviour that will improve their psychological well-being and sense of self-esteem. Mindfulness and authenticity A second study, conducted by researchers at the National University of Australia and Catholic University of Australia in 2016, shows some results that reveal further information about the connection between mindful living and values-based actions. According to the study, values-based action – action and behaviour consistent with an individual's values and beliefs – are an important part of the relationship between a mindful disposition and psychological well-being. Individuals who were more mindful tended to act more consistently with their own values and therefore tended to be happier. In fact, the researchers found that the connection between mindfulness and well-being through values-based action was much stronger than the direct link. Mindful individuals saw an increase in well-being primarily when they showed authenticity in action. Lesson to learn: authenticity equals happiness! © Ingram Image Psychological well-being Both studies suggest a correlation between mindful individuals and psychological well-being. It's worth taking a moment to examine the concept in a little more detail. Psychological well-being (PWB) basically reflects what we would think of as happiness: an individual's level of satisfaction with various aspects of their life. It's not a simple concept, though. Well-being breaks down into two further categories: hedonic and eudaimonic well-being. Hedonic well-being focuses on experiencing pleasure and avoiding pain. When we're comfortable, well-fed and enjoying ourselves, our sense of hedonic well-being is high. Eudaimonic well-being bases itself more on the happiness that comes from self-actualisation. Our sense of eudaimonic well-being is high when we feel that what we are doing is worthwhile and that we can fulfill our potential. Authenticity of action is vital to this sense of well-being. Relating authenticity and self-image Both studies may show some of the connection between a mindful disposition and well-being. In the University of Utah study, mindful individuals did not suffer from some of the distress that can come from a confused or contradictory sense of self. In fact, they had clearer ideas of who they were. This may have allowed them to select actions and relationships that satisfied their values. In the Australian study, well-being came from authenticity: individuals who acted on their values tended to be happier. “Individuals who were more mindful tended to act more consistently with their own values and therefore tended to be happier.” But, of course, the two are inseparable. A strong sense of self is vital to values-based action, since people with lower self-concept clarity may not even really be sure of their own values. Putting it into practice Of course, these are just two studies, and, as always, further research is needed. But the evidence so far suggests that authenticity may be one of the most important connections between mindful living and well-being. Maintaining a mindful disposition can make us more aware of ourselves and our values, which is vital. But these values won't contribute as much to our well-being unless we put them into action. By identifying what our core beliefs are – what's really important to us – we can identify the actions that we need to carry out to put those beliefs into practice. Hopefully, putting our core beliefs into practice makes the world a better place. But it's also an important part of building our sense of well-being. When we act with authenticity – when we're true to our own sense of self – we develop the habits that contribute to our own happiness. ● Main image: Ingram Image Written by Guest Author We're happy to publish articles by guest authors that will broaden the perspective and bring new insights. If you're interested in publishing an article here on happiness.com, please contact us.

There were plenty of feel-good health and environmental stories in December, but you may have missed them given all the negative news currently in the press. Ed Gould rounds up his Top Ten positive news stories from the past month to uplift and inspire. December is the traditional time for family get-togethers and merriment. Although the final month of 2020 may have been somewhat different from usual, there were many good news stories that were full of happiness, positivity and the human spirit. Read on to discover more about some of the best ones. 1. Plastic additive makes packaging biodegradable A British firm has announced that it has developed an additive that can go into new plastic products that will render them biodegradable. Polymateria has come up with a way that could end the crisis the world faces in plastics that take hundreds of years to break up. Both flexible and rigid forms of plastic can be made using the additive which, it is hoped, will do no environmental damage once disposed of. 2. Food waste targeted by tech giant With so many people around the world suffering from hunger but with global food production at an all time high, there is an undoubted problem with waste. According to some estimates, as much as a third of all groceries are thrown away by people in wealthier countries. It was reported in December that Google plans to do something about the issue by getting involved in Project Delta in the United States. The tech giant will bring its algorithmic prowess to bear in an effort to get food where it's needed when it's needed so that Americans end up throwing away less of the food they buy. At the moment, the project is focussed on commercial kitchens but it could also be advanced to help ordinary retailers and consumers. 3. Polar bears saved by court ruling A controversial offshore oil drilling project in the Arctic region has been stopped by a US federal court, according to EuroNews. The decision will safeguard the habitat and ranges of polar bears in the area, in a move that has been warmly welcomed by campaign groups. The court ruling said that the National Environmental Policy Act had not been sufficiently taken into account by the current administration when it said the offshore project could proceed. Polar bears tend to be disturbed by the noise such drilling inevitably creates. Arctic polar bears to be protected shutterstock/outdoorsman 4. Stranded truckers assisted by compassionate groups When lorry drivers were stuck in Kent, UK, unable to take cross-channel ferries to France, they were left stranded without access to basic services. However, according to local news sources, their plight was not overlooked by the local Sikh community who rallied around to deliver hot food to them. Under police supervision, the Gravesend Gurdwara delivered hundreds of free meals to the incapacitated truckers while they waited for the port to reopen. The group was assisted by Khalsa Aid, a Sikh charitable foundation. In addition, Ramsgate Football Club showed a similar level of compassion to the drivers by delivering hundreds of pizzas free of charge. 5. Mental ageing can be reversed, study suggests According to a new paper published by UC San Francisco scientists, the age-related cognitive decline that is noted in many older people need not be permanent. Indeed, SciTech Daily reported that the group had come up with a drug therapy that would mean such brain decline could be reversed. The scientists' work has focussed on a drug called ISRIB which, it was found, could restore memory function among a raft of other cognitive abilities. What's even more positive is that the drug tends to provide rapid results where brain degradation had previously been thought to be permanent. RELATED: Cognitive impairment – 5 ways to reduce the risk as you age 6. New Zealand's vaccine response includes its neighbours A report in The London Economic claimed that New Zealand had purchased enough of the anti-coronavirus vaccines to treat all of its population – as well as those of its neighbouring Pacific islands. New Zealand has a population of 5.5 million but it has bought more vaccine doses than it needs for its own citizens. This means that the Oxford University/AstraZeneca and Novavax jabs will now be issued to island states such as Tokelau, Niue, Samoa and Tuvalu. It's also thought that Tonga and the Cook Islands will benefit from the generosity of the New Zealand government. According to the country's foreign minister, the move will allow these smaller nations faster access to the vaccines as well as making the entire region safer for ordinary New Zealanders. 7. New hope for Florida's coral reefs According to the Miami Herald, the introduction of the Caribbean king crab into its coral reefs is starting to preserve them. By reducing algae growth, the corals have become healthier. The crabs have been nicknamed as reef goats because of their ability to eat everything that is unwanted and develop healthy growth. Once grown for human consumption, these crabs will now play a big part in maintaining marine biodiversity in the area. Coral reefs in Miami are becoming healthier shutterstock/Matt9122 8. Electronic devices must be tagged as repairable In a landmark move, the French government has voted for a law that will make all electronic goods manufacturers tag their products with how repairable – or otherwise – they are. The idea is that when people buy devices, they will know which ones will be repairable if something goes wrong down the line and which ones won't. In turn, it's hoped this law will encourage manufacturers to make their products longer lasting, thereby cutting down on waste and the need to constantly upgrade with newer versions of the same product. According to Times Now, it's expected that several other European Union countries will follow France's lead and introduce similar legislation. 9. Mindfulness reduces burnout among healthcare staff There can be little doubt that 2020 has been a tough year for everyone in the healthcare sector. Stress and burnout among some health professionals has been part of the problem in several countries. However, according to a report in Becker's Hospital Review, mindfulness has been deployed successfully in many healthcare settings to help caregivers. Researchers in the United States found that practising mindfulness techniques reduced burnout rates and increased engagement at work among a range of healthcare workers. Mindfulness reduces burnout in healthcare workers shutterstock/ARTFULLY PHOTOGRAPHER 10. Pygmy possum found alive and well in Australia Because of the bushfires that have engulfed Australia in recent years, it was feared that the tiny pygmy possum – the smallest species of possum – had been wiped out. Previously found in certain habitats in Tasmania and surrounding areas, the diminutive creature was thought to have become extinct by many naturalists. Indeed, The Guardian reported that almost 90 per cent of the creature's habitat had been lost to bushfires.However, a discovery on Kangaroo Island in December has raised new hopes that the species is doing better than previously thought and may make a comeback so long as it can be adequately protected. • Main image: shutterstock/LeAndr happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Positive news | Nature | Biology | Biotechnology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

From mutual support and solidarity to a sense of belonging, there are many ways 'family' – including our own chosen tribe – can help us. So, if you're asking 'why is family important for happiness?', Dee Marques has six key reasons to explain just that... Family is one of the building blocks of society, and so its structure and role reflect social changes. Over the past 30 years, the traditional family unit has evolved significantly. Right now there isn’t a single concept of family that applies universally. But although family structure may have changed, its importance has not. In fact, there are many reasons why family is important for happiness. Sure, we can’t choose our “blood” family. In most cases, family interactions are a mix of great and not-so-great experiences. But we can make up for that by choosing our “adopted” family members, a tribe of people who aren’t related to us, but who show support and prove they’re there for us so we don’t feel lost in times of need. Indeed, blood isn’t always thicker than water. As someone who spent most of her life away from relatives, I learned that actions speak louder than words (or rather, than blood ties). Over the years I’ve been able to count on the support of people who were unrelated to me, in different countries and through different life stages. My family wasn’t always there, but being close to “my tribe” helped me push through tough times. This has been defining in my own quest for well-being, so in this article we'll look at why family is essential for happiness and the benefits of having a close relationship with our loved ones. Why is family important for happiness: what science says One of the reasons why family is necssary for happiness is because it (usually) provides financial stability in our early years. Having our basic needs covered is crucial when it comes setting the basis for a happy life. But studies show that the link between family and happiness extends beyond money or possessions. Researchers followed up hundreds of families for a decade and found that the quality of family bonds mattered more to overall happiness than income. Family units have evolved shutterstock/wavebreakmedia All over the world, researchers found that support is one of the reasons why family is important for happiness. And this support goes both ways: according to a study, nearly 70 per cent of parents depend on their children for emotional support. And research shows that knowing someone has your back can counter stress, depressive symptoms, and low self-esteem. The sibling relationships is especially important to emotional well-being. In one survey, more than 60 per cent of participants said their sibling was their best friend. Evolutionary biologists say that this could be because we share half our genes, so we’re predisposed to closeness and we respond positively to it. But depending on our background, there could be some differences in how family contributes to happiness. RELATED: Toxic siblings – how to recognise and deal with them A cultural perspective As I wrote in a previous article, the concept of happiness varies across cultures, and so does the “recipe” for it. Family is a central to happiness in every culture, but in some countries this is more profound. Family ties often have a stronger weight in collectivist cultures, those where the well-being of society is above the individual. For example, in Mexico, a World Values Survey found that nearly 95 per cent of those interviewed considered family very important in life. Mexicans rank family as one of the most trust-inspiring institutions and a source of emotional, financial and practical support. “All over the world, researchers found that support is one of the reasons why family is important for happiness.” In India, also known for its collectivist culture, many important life decisions are taken in consultation with family members. The boundaries between self and relatives are somehow blurred, so the common view is that a happy and complete individual can only exist within the family unit. • FIND YOUR TRIBE! Sign-up to happiness.com and connect to a caring community • When answering the question 'why is family important for happiness?', we can also look at Western societies. In the US, a survey showed that more than 70 per cent of participants said family was crucial to their identity. The link between healthy family ties and identity is also strong in Scandinavian countries like Sweden, Denmark, and Norway, where parent-child relationships are meant to facilitate independence, individual responsibility, and promote the development of healthy identities. But, regardless of our cultural background, there are (at least) six reasons why family is important for happiness: 6 reasons why family is important for happiness 1. Mutual support and solidarity The people we consider family foster a sense of reciprocity, dependability and mutual reliance. Caring for our loved ones and being looked after by them brings a rewarding sense of achievement. 2. A shelter from the outside world Healthy families are a place of refuge from problems and offer a safety network when things go wrong. Think about the boost you get when it’s hard to cope with life’s hurdles and you spend time doing something fun with your loved ones. And it’s more than a feeling: studies found that quality leisure time with our family can fight off and manage stress. Support and shelter: two reasons why family is important shutterstock/Monkey Business Images 3. Encouragement A UK study showed that the encouragement of parents and grandparents was the main reason why teenagers got involved in altruistic cases. And the link between altruism and greater well-being is well documented – you probably know that it’s good to be good. RELATED: The power of kindness 4. Unconditional love and support Knowing that you have a network of people you can always count on benefits our physical and emotional health. Our “tribe” accepts us for who we are, which is key to a positive self-concept. And research shows that the benefits go both ways, to those giving and those receiving love and support. 5. Shared experiences We’re all in this together, and that helps us build stronger connections and enrich our appreciation for others. Studies show that shared experiences can amplify the effect of positive emotions. Even remembering shared experiences can give a boost to our well-being. 6. A sense of belonging Here’s one last reason why family is important for happiness. Researchers compared people with and without a strong sense of belonging. The results were clear: those who felt they belonged to a supportive group reported being happier. According to psychologists, belonging is a primal need, and meeting this need helps us be more resilient – and happier too. RELATED: Building resilience – 5 strategies for thriving As you can see, there’s much to be won from building strong and meaningful relationships with our loved ones, whether they’re relatives or “adopted” family members. So why not take a minute to think about what can you do today to show them your support? ● Why is your family important to you? We'd love to hear your comments below. Or why not start a thread in our relationships and friendships forum? happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online Academy courses Kindness | Motivation | Learning | Altruism Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

The ancient art of sound bathing is growing increasingly popular. Meditation teacher Ann Vrlak explores how sound baths harness the power of sound to reduce depression, anxiety and pain, as well as enhancing a sense of spirituality. Have you heard about sound baths or sound bathing? These are actually new terms for an ancient practice. For many hundreds of years, in various cultures, sound bathing has been part of meditation practice and healing – in some places, since the fifth century! In Australia, aboriginal tribes have employed the didgeridoo as a sound healing instrument for over 40,000 years. In a traditional practice, you would be lying down in yoga corpse pose, for half an hour up to a couple of hours, as the sound bath being created around you relaxed your mind and body, and led you into a meditation. Indeed, just as the name suggests, a sound bath fills the room and envelops the listeners. It’s quite an intense experience. And, if you’re someone who finds it difficult to meditate, sound bathing may be a great way for you to settle into the practice more easily. Is a sound bath like listening to music? So, how does a sound bath differ from listening to relaxing music, for example? The difference is there in the name: it’s a sound bath, not a music bath. The sounds that are used in this kind of practice are usually singular tones produced by instruments such as crystal bowls, gongs or bells. These specialized instruments are used because the sounds they emanate invoke deep relaxation and meditative states. Sound bathing is not about melody, but about the physical vibration of sound itself. The instruments are most often played in a way that produces deep, resonating tones that overlap each other. This creates a powerful field of vibration that is felt in body, mind and spirit – much in the same way that mantras do. RELATED: Vedic meditation – the benefits and mantras you need to know In many meditation traditions, sound is considered to be the most primordial and dynamic element in our universe. OM, the universal mantra, is said to be the sound of the universe itself, and its repetition will give you an increasing feeling of harmony and connection with all things that vibrate at its frequency. Whether you experience this kind of profound experience or not, the repetition of mantra, as well as sound bathing, encourages your mind to unwind by activating a deep relaxation response in your nervous system. The sound of the gong invokes deep relaxation What’s a sound bath like? I mentioned earlier that sound baths are traditionally part of a meditation practice. It is a tool to relax body and mind, so you are more receptive to a meditative state. Today, sound bath events or sessions are used just as often solely for their relaxation benefits. Whether people come for a spiritual or relaxation experience, sound baths are extremely popular in many places. Furthermore, sound baths are also used as therapeutic tools to heal physical and psychological illnesses. In fact, I was very lucky to experience a healing treatment myself a few years ago that involved the placement of crystal bowls on my chest that were “sung” by the therapist. At the time I thought, “This is what a cello feels like.” The sound vibrations reverberated through my body and created a deeply meditative, thought-free and pain-free state. I’ve never heard of this kind of treatment since – though I would go again in a second if I had the chance! “Sound bathing is not about melody, but about the physical vibration of sound itself. The instruments are played in a way that produces deep, resonating tones. This creates a powerful field of vibration that is felt in body, mind and spirit.” For most of us, here is the kind of simple format you can expect at a sound bath event: participants lie down on their backs on a yoga mat, with blankets and pillows available. The sessions are usually conducted in a similar way to a yoga class, with several other people in the room. The therapist then begins the sound bath. They use one or more instruments to create the series of overlapping tones, from deep low tones on a large crystal bowl, for example, to high sparkling sounds like a small chime. The sound bath usually begins quietly with frequent silences and grows in complexity and layering. The instruments create sounds that resonate and sustain for long periods, until they disappear into silence. RELATED: The power of silence Sound bathing can offer some people easier access to meditation. Following the sound into silence, eases your attention away from your mind, into your body and into sound – and ultimately, the silence between sounds. If there is a guided meditation component to the session, the therapist leads you through the meditation while the sound continues. If there is no guided meditation in your session, you simply let your attention rest in the physical sensations of the sound in your body and enjoy. Bowls are key components of sound baths shutterstock/Microgen The benefits of sound baths When you have a sound bath, you receive many of the same benefits as a regular meditation session: Reduced anxiety and depression Activation of your body’s relaxation mechanisms Better focus and concentration Promotion of good mental health Enhanced self-awareness Better sleep Plus, you can enjoy other benefits, like: The ability I touched upon earlier to move more easily into quieter, meditative states of mind Lowered blood pressure Relief of physical pain In terms of the science behind the practice of sound bathing, research studies into its potential benefits are few and far between. However, a 2017 study from the University of California did show that Tibetan singing bowl meditation had a positive effect on participants' mood, anxiety, pain and spiritual well-being. The study consisted of 62 participants. Compared with pre-meditation, following the sound meditation participants reported significantly reduced anger, tension, fatigue and depressive mood. Additionally, those who were previously naïve to this type of sound meditation experienced a significantly greater reduction in tension compared with participants who were experienced in this sound meditation. What's more, the feeling of spiritual well-being significantly increased across all participants. “Sound baths are traditionally part of a meditation practice. It is a tool to relax body and mind, so you are more receptive to a meditative state.” The results of this study may point to why the practice of sound bathing has a respected place at the heart of many meditation traditions. Want to try sound bathing? I’m writing this article about a year into the COVID-19 pandemic and public events are still restricted in many parts of the world. If you can't currently enjoying an in-person class, you can manage to experience a sound bath for yourself, thanks to the internet! One group offers virtual sound baths. And, you can take a three-hour (!) crystal bowl sound bath below, in high quality audio and video. I highly recommend it. You could also try creating your own sound bath at home. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; } This is one of the many sites that sell Tibetan singing bowls, and it also provides instructions on how to create your own sound bath at home. If you can invest in a bowl, you’ll enjoy the added experience of making the sounds yourself and feeling the vibrations of the bell through your hands. You can listen for the tones and rhythms and silences that resonate most with you, and take you into a relaxed state. The takeaway At the very least, sound baths are one of the most unique experiences you’ll find and, at most, you may find a healing, relaxing, meditative practice that you can easily make part of your life. Especially with high quality recordings available online, sound baths are more accessible than ever. Having done many live sound baths myself, I heartily recommend you try one if you can. The experience of the direct sound vibrations around you are hard to describe. I hope you have a chance to try one some day. Main image: shutterstock/Microgen happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online classes in our Academy Stress management | Mindfulness | Burnout Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.

Need a break from negative news? These feel-good stories from February highlight the positive things happening around the world. Ed Gould shares his Top Ten round-up from the month. February was a month that had its fair share of scare stories and unpleasant events. However, there were plenty of feel-good news stories that also made it into the mainstream media. Unfortunately, not all news items covering happiness and human warmth received front-page attention. Read on to discover some of the brighter stories from the last month you may have missed among the doom and gloom. 1. Mindfulness eases pain, according to science As it's #MindfulMarch, let's start with a mindfulness story. Even as little as half an hour spent on learning mindfulness techniques can help to ease physical pain. According to Medical News Today, introductory sessions into mindfulness can significantly lessen the impact of negative emotions as well as easing physical pain. Neuro-scientific experiments were conducted by a team at Yale University in the United States. They found that the results were the same even for people who have never practiced mindfulness before. Hedy Kober, an associate professor of psychiatry and psychology at the university, said that mindfulness allowed people to enjoy a non-judgmental acceptance of the negativity associated with pain. 2. Soil bacteria may help the fight against climate change According to a number of news outlets around the world, a bacterium found in the soil may provide some of the answers needed to combat the changing global climate. Researchers at Cornell University have found a new group of bacteria that belong to a genus called Paraburkholderia madseniana. These bacterium are notable for their ability to degrade certain compounds and to generate root nodules that fix atmospheric nitrogen in the ground. It's hoped this will lead them to break down some of the chemicals that are released when fossil fuels are burned, promoting more nutrients for plant life to grow. 3. Children are happier in nature, study shows According to reports by CNN, scientific analysis has shown that children feel greater levels of happiness when they have the opportunity to get out and about in natural environments. Exposure to nature allows children, in particular, to feel more connected to the world. The research was published in February's edition of the journal Frontiers in Psychology by a team of researchers from Mexico. In all, some 300 school-age children took part in the study. As well as feeling happier, those who got out in nature were found to be more likely to be altruistic, too. Exposure to nature benefits children shutterstock/FamVeld 4. India turns to clean fuel In February, the Indian government announced that it would switch to one of the cleanest forms of transportation fuel in the world. The new regulations covering what Indian people can fill up their car with will come into effect from the start of April this year. From then, only BS-IV grades of fuel will be allowed for road-going petrol and diesel engines. It should help to dramatically reduce airborne pollution, especially in the country's crowded urban areas. 5. Chronic inflammation may become a thing of the past In feel-good news for anyone who suffers from chronic inflammation, scientists in the US have announced a way of flipping the way certain molecules work such that the body's immune system won't react to them. The discovery of this 'molecular switch' was published in the academic journal Cell Metabolism. It's thought the technique can be used to treat conditions like Alzheimer’s disease as well as diabetes and even cancer. Work is ongoing at the Department of Metabolic Biology, Nutritional Sciences and Toxicology at UC Berkeley. 6. Want to learn while you sleep? Use your nose A team of scientists at the University of Freiburg in Germany has discovered that fragrances and the ability to smell them both play a part in the way we learn during sleep. Their study has revealed that we can make bigger strides in sleep-learning during hour hours of slumber when we have smelt something pleasant, such as a rose. Jürgen Kornmeier said that his team's work focussed on students learning foreign words. His study group was played English words to take on board during their slumber. Those who were exposed to certain odours before sleeping found their learning was more entrenched than a sample group. RELATED: Can't sleep? 14 fixes to get a good night's rest 7. Want to sleep better? Use your nose In an amazing coincidence, there was another sleep and odour related news story in February that made it into the press. This one followed a study conducted at the University of British Colombia in Canada. It found that sleeping with the natural odour of a partner close by will bring about a better quality of sleep. People who can smell their partner on their clothes or bedsheets – even if they're not present – are more likely to sleep longer and deeper, the study showed. According to the Daily Mail, sleeping in your partner's garments can mean enjoying up to nine minutes more slumber! 8. Bee population rising in North America thanks to hemp Since hemp production started to be legalised in North America, more and more hectares have been devoted to the crop. That has brought a good deal of happiness to many patients with chronic conditions. It has also led to a boost in bee numbers across areas like Colorado where hemp production is expanding. The pollen from the plants is particularly attractive for bees. Indeed, their dwindling numbers around the world may be reversed if other countries follow the example of Canada and the United States. Don't worry, bee happy! shutterstock/RUKSUTAKARAN studio 9. Comedy could help anxiety Some people have always benefited from the happiness and laughter comedy can bring about. However, one group of improvisational comedians in Chicago took it a step further by trying to treat anxiety. Their approach was based on a 2017 scientific study into anxiety and comedy. The team used a blend of group therapy sessions and improvisation classes each week to deliver what they called 'a natural remedy' for people suffering from anxiety in the city. The idea is that improvising various comedic situations makes people operate in the present with less time available for dwelling on the past. 10. Brazilian cities offer tax breaks for good deeds Property taxes in some locations in Brazil can be completely wiped out if residents there take advantage of new local laws. Under the scheme, people who adopt stray dogs or plant trees can enjoy a tax break from about a third of their usual bill and will even have it rescinded entirely if they perform enough qualifying good deeds. Places like Goiania, Belo Horizonte, Saraba and Quinta do Sol have all introduced these tax relief schemes to encourage fewer stray dogs and more foliage. Shop owners can also benefit from the scheme by renovating their historic storefronts. ● Main image: shutterstock/VAlekStudio What's your favourite story from the month? We'd love to hear your views in the comments! Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Und plötzlich ist alles schwarz. Nicht nur im bildlichen Sinne, sondern tatsächlich. Katrin bricht zusammen, hat ein stundenlanges Blackout. Sie meldet sich krank und denkt, dass nach 1, 2 Wochen Pause alles wieder okay ist. Pustekuchen. Bei ihrer Ärztin bekommt sie die unerwartete Diagnose “Burnout”. Und auf einmal ist alles anders. 2 Jahre Krankschreibung und ein langer Weg zurück ins Licht sind die Folge. Hier erzählt Katrin ihre Geschichte. Burnout: Plötzlich macht das Leben eine Vollbremsung Rien ne va plus Ein toller neuer Job in einer wunderschönen lebendigen Metropole, eine tolle innovative Firma mit Family-Feeling, ein aufregendes anspruchsvolles Projekt, Kolleg*innen, die zu Freund*innen werden. Kurz: Katrin hat das große Los gezogen. Sie kniet sich richtig rein, mischt überall mit und verbreitet gute Laune. Sie bildet sich weiter, lässt ihre Kompetenzen wachsen, hat Erfolge und merkt nicht, dass sie auch mal Zeit braucht, um durchzuatmen und neue Kraft zu tanken. Bis es zu spät ist. Katrin erzählt: Ich war mitten in einem Call mit meinen Teamkolleginnen und von einem Moment zum anderen war ich weg. Ich bin 4, 5 Stunden später wieder zu mir gekommen, zum Glück hatte ich gerade Homeoffice und bin nicht im Büro oder auf der Straße zusammengeklappt. So fand ich mich in meinem Bett wieder und mir fehlte jede Erinnerung an die letzten Stunden. Ein sehr beunruhigendes Gefühl, aber ich war zu verwirrt, um wirklich Angst zu haben. Also hab ich mich früh hingelegt, um mich im Schlaf zu erholen, auch in der Hoffnung, dass am nächsten Morgen alles wie ein schlechter Traum war. Aber es war kein Traum. Ich fühlte mich, als hätte mir jemand den Stecker gezogen und fühlte mich elend und schlapp. Also ging ich zu meiner Ärztin, hab ihr das Erlebte beschrieben und auch meine aktuellen Symptome. Sie war beunruhigter als ich, weil ich immer noch dachte, das ist nur ein kleines Formtief; war stressig in letzter Zeit, aber das wird wieder. Das sah sie anders. Und ihre Diagnose hat mich dann gänzlich umgehauen: Burnout wegen totaler Erschöpfung. Die meisten Menschen, bei denen ein Burnout diagnostiziert wird, haben nicht gemerkt, dass sie geradewegs und schnurstracks auf einen Zusammenbruch zusteuern. Fatalerweise sind es oft die Herzensjobs, für die wir glühen und in die wir unsere Energie und Kraft stecken, die uns letztendlich ausknocken. Dies gilt besonders für den Typus Erschöpfungs-Burnout. Dazu zählen die Personen, die, wie im Fall von Katrin, über lange Zeit Vollgas im Job geben, Schwierigkeiten haben, Aufgaben zu delegieren und quasi auf jeder “Party” mittanzen wollen. Dieser energetische Antrieb funktioniert über lange Distanzen auch für die Firma sehr gut, denn wer bremst schon gerne ein motiviertes Arbeitstier? Eben. Aber irgendwann hat auch der größte Tank keinen Sprit mehr und wir müssen feststellen, dass unsere Energie und Kraft endlich ist, wenn wir keine “innere” Tankstelle haben und nutzen. Typen von Burnout: Bist du überfordert, unterfordert oder erschöpft? Burnout ist nicht gleich Burnout Es gibt neben dem Typus “Erschöpfung” noch 2 weitere Burnout-Persönlichkeiten, wie verschiedene wissenschaftliche Studien1 ergaben: der Überforderungs-Burnout Dieser Burnout-Typus ist dem Erschöpfungs-Burnout sehr ähnlich mit dem kleinen Unterschied, dass hier die aufgewendete Arbeitsenergie zwar auch riesig ist, aber aufgrund innerer oder äußerer Anforderungen verpufft. Nicht jeder ist ein Sisyphos, der klaglos tagein tagaus eine tonnenschwere Steinkugel einen Hügel hinauf wuchtet, nur um zu “guter” Letzt an der Aufgabe zu scheitern, weil die schwere Kugel kurz vorm Gipfel den ganzen Weg wieder hinunter rollt. Die meisten von uns sind unzufrieden, wenn sie ihr Arbeitspensum nicht so erfüllen wie gewünscht und reiben sich an der permanenten Überlastung und den daraus resultierenden Selbstzweifeln auf. Zum Selbstschutz reagieren viele darauf, indem sie diese Unzufriedenheit und Frustration nach außen richten, denn als Ursachen werden vor Allem mangelnde Unterstützung und ineffiziente Strukturen am Arbeitsplatz verortet. Die Folge: Die emotionale Distanzierung vom Job und dem Unternehmen und “die innere Kündigung”2. der Unterforderungs-Burnout (Bore-Out3 und Brown-Out) Die innere Kündigung bzw. die fortschreitende Distanzierung vom Arbeitsplatz kann auch die Folge sein, wenn wir unter dem so genannten Unterforderungs-Burnout (Boreout) zusammenbrechen. Denn genauso wie stete Überlastung führt auch permanente Unterforderung zu Frustration und dem zermürbendem Gefühl der Belanglosigkeit des eigenen Tuns. Viele fühlen sich für ihren Job überqualifiziert und deswegen unterfordert, was dem Gefühl der Wertschätzung abträglich und dem Gefühl der langeweile zuträglich ist. Es ist nachvollziehbar, dass es großen Frust bedeutet, wenn die eigenen Talente und Fähigkeiten nicht gebraucht und erkannt werden. Die Folge: Nur noch der Körper quält sich zur täglichen Routine und täuscht Arbeit vor, Geist und Herz bleiben zu Hause und träumen von einer befriedigenden Tätigkeit. Die Wissenschaft hat einen dem Boreout sehr ähnlichen Typus ausgemacht: der Brownout. Zu dieser Form des Burnouts kommt es, wenn der einstige Spaß am Job und damit das Interesse und der Elan langsam verloren gehen. Meist passiert dies im Umfeld zu vieler Regeln oder durch die Abwesenheit von Kreativität, Eigeninitiative und Sinn in der Arbeit. Ein weiterer Grund für diesen Spannungsabfall (der Begriff Brownout kommt aus der Elektrizitätswirtschaft) sind die voneinander unabhängig wachsenden beruflichen und persönlichen Weiterentwicklungen und der schon beschriebene Erschöpfungs-Burnout, wie ihn auch Katrin erlebt hat. Im Gegensatz zum Überforderungstypus richten sich hier die negativen Gefühle in Form von Resignation und Hilflosigkeit nach innen, die Aufgaben werden zunehmend vernachlässigt, was die betroffenen Menschen zusätzlich belastet und zack - sind wir mitten in einem Teufelskreis. Denn die Ansprüche an sich selbst und die Anforderungen von außen bleiben so wie sie sind und werden bei der dramatisch abnehmenden Energie, Kraft und Leistungsfähigkeit mehr und mehr unerreichbar und sind nicht mehr zu meistern. Übrigens: Unter diesem Burnout - Typus finden sich auch viele Extrem - Multitasker*innen4, die in mehreren Browserfenstern je 20 Tabs geöffnet haben, nebenher To-Do-Listen schreiben und versuchen alles gleichzeitig zu tun, denn sonst überstiege das Arbeitspensum die Arbeitszeit bei weitem. Wir sehen: Auch wenn die Ursachen eines Burnout sehr unterschiedlich sind, das Ergebnis ist das Gleiche: Nichts geht mehr, rien ne va plus… Burnout vermeiden: Aufmerksamkeit, Selbstfürsorge und Achtsamkeit Wehret den Anfängen! Was sich mit der Zeit zu einem ausgewachsenen Burnout entwickelt, hat schon klein damit angefangen, mal ganz groß rauszukommen. Dabei sind manche Menschen eher gefährdet als andere wegen eines Burnout zwangspausieren oder gar den Job wechseln zu müssen. Allergrößte Vorsicht und eine geschärfte Selbstbeobachtung sind ratsam, sollte es uns schwerfallen, Grenzen zu setzen und auch mal “Nein!” zu sagen. Wenn wir in einem Team arbeiten ist Teamwork, also sich gegenseitig zuzuarbeiten und zu unterstützen eine Grundvoraussetzung für effektives und gesundes Arbeiten. Und auch das Delegieren von Aufgaben ist nichts Böses, sondern verteilt die Gesamtheit der Aufgaben gerecht unter allen Beteiligten je nach Verfügbarkeit, Interesse und Fähigkeiten. Ob im Team oder alleine: Wir sollten uns regelmäßig fragen, ob wir mit unserer Arbeit zufrieden und mit unserem Arbeits-Ich im Einklang sind. Oder ob etwas verändert werden sollte. Können wir unsere Freizeit geniessen oder schleppen wir die Arbeitslast 24/7 mit uns herum? Wie sieht es mit der Gesundheit aus? Diese Selbstbeobachtungen können uns davor schützen, uns plötzlich ahnungslos und völlig überraschend am Abgrund stehend wiederzufinden. Katrin erzählt: Im Nachhinein betrachtet gab es genügend Anzeichen dafür, dass mein Arbeitseifer ungesunde Züge angenommen hatte. Ich hab nur noch 4 Stunden geschlafen, zum Abschalten brauchte ich ein Glas Wein, ich hab von der Firma geträumt, ich konnte nichts mehr aus der Hand geben und mein Privatleben war nicht mehr existent. Ich habe es allerdings nicht als das erkennen können, was es war, nämlich zunehmende Überlastung. In meinen Augen war ich einfach sehr engagiert und sehr um den Erfolg des Projektes bemüht. Da war es keine große Sache vor der Fahrt ins Office um 4 Uhr morgens mit dem Team in Shanghai technische Details zu klären. Und weil ich mir immer mehr Aufgaben und Bereiche aneignete haben die vertraglichen 40 Stunden pro Woche nicht mehr ausgereicht, also habe ich Feierabende und Wochenende weitergearbeitet, um alles einigermaßen schaffen zu können und im Urlaub war die Arbeit auch immer dabei. Langsam hatte sich das alles so entwickelt und genauso langsam hab ich mich dabei verändert. Der Druck, den ich mir selber gemacht habe hat sich auf meine Konzentration, meine Energie und vor Allem auf meine Laune ausgewirkt. Die Mißtöne im Team nahmen zu, ich fühlte mich unterschätzt und zweifelte am Vertrauen meiner Kolleg*innen und der Firma. Ich wurde immer häufiger krank, weil mein Magen diesem ungesunden Stress und dem hektischen Alltag nicht mehr gewachsen war. Und genau diese langsame Entwicklung war fatal, denn so bemerkte ich viel zu spät, dass ich nur noch ein trauriger Abklatsch meines früheren Ichs geworden war. Eine wichtige Erkenntnis zur Vermeidung eines Burnout und zum wachsenden Bewusstsein, dass wir auf dem besten Wege sind, auszubrennen: Selbstfürsorge und Selbstachtsamkeit sind keine reine Privatsache und dürfen gedanklich nicht an der Bürotür abgegeben werden. In unserer Freizeit und bei uns daheim achten wir auf uns und unser Wohlbefinden, horchen in uns hinein, ob uns etwas zu viel wird und was uns gut tut. Warum sollte dies unserem Arbeits-Ich nicht gestattet sein? Schließlich ist es unser Arbeits-Ich, das das Geld für unser Leben verdient. Deshalb ist es wichtig, rund um die Uhr auf uns zu achten, Dissonanzen mit schädlichem Potential zu erkennen und damit umzugehen, regelmäßig eine ehrliche Selbstbetrachtung durchzuführen und vor Allem Rücksprache mit Kolleg*innen und/oder Vorgesetzten zu halten. Ein weiterer guter Schutz vor Stress, Belastung und dem täglichen Wahnsinn im Berufsleben ist das kurze Innehalten, ob in Form von Meditation oder einem kleinen Spaziergang um den Block oder ganz einfach das bewusste tiefe Durchatmen: Wenn wir uns für ein paar Minuten vom Stress und Druck verabschieden und ihn von außen betrachten statt uns von ihm mitreißen zu lassen, schöpfen wir neue Kraft für die nächste Runde und bleiben bei uns statt uns im Chaos zu verlieren. Und das Wichtigste ist: Wir brauchen einen ausgleichenden Konterpart für die zuweilen stressige Arbeitswelt und da sind wir auch schon bei der vielzitierten Work-Life-Balance. Die Arbeitswelt hat sich in den letzen Jahrzehnten stark verändert. Neben völlig neuen Jobs und Anforderungen hat sich bei vielen auch die Grenze zwischen Beruf und Privatleben verschoben oder gleich ganz aufgelöst. Diese Entwicklung war zunächst bei jungen Start-Up-Unternehmen zu beobachten, aber durch die Pandemie und den Lockdown haben unzählige Menschen ihre Arbeit mit nach Hause genommen und von da an hieß es erst einmal: Home-Office. Wenn Privatraum und Arbeitsstelle am gleichen Ort sind gehen auch Privatleben und Berufsleben schnell Hand in Hand. Deshalb sollten wir in unseren Köpfen eine klare Grenze ziehen: In der Arbeitszeit wird gearbeitet, in der Freizeit haben wir frei. Besonders für diejenigen unter uns, die größtenteils sitzend ihrer Arbeit nachgehen, ist es unbedingt notwendig, so viel Zeit wie möglich aktiv zu sein. Vom Spaziergang übers Laufen zum Marathontraining, vom Yoga übers Schwimmen bis hin zum Kickboxen - Hauptsache, der Körper kommt so oft wie möglich vom Stuhl hoch und in Wallung. Neben ausreichender Bewegung und Sport hätten wir dann auch noch genug Zeit übrig, um unseren anderen Hobbies zu fröhnen und Familie und Freunde zu treffen (oder wenigstens zu sprechen). So kann eine gesunde Work-Life-Balance aussehen. Work-Life-Blending5 / Work-Life-Integration6 Im Rahmen der sich stetig verändernden Arbeitswelt etablieren sich vermehrt andere Konzepte als z. B. der klassische 9 to 5-Bürojob, mehr zeitliche und örtliche Flexibilität sind erforderlich (beispielsweise wegen unterschiedlicher Zeitzonen und wechselnder Standorte) und so verschwimmen die Grenzen zwischen beruflich und privat mehr und mehr. Mehr Infos gibt es hier. Das Leben nach dem Burnout: Bilanz ziehen, Ausgleich schaffen, Veränderungen schaffen Burnout und dann? Ein Burnout markiert den vorläufigen Endpunkt einer oft jahrelangen Entwicklung zur Selbstausbeutung, zur Hoffnungslosigkeit und zu großen Selbstzweifeln, die in der vollständigen Kapitulation vorm Leben enden können. Dazu drohen Jobverlust, Zukunftsängste, Minderwertigkeitsgefühle und am Allerschlimmsten: Der nachhaltige Verlust der körperlichen und mentalen Gesundheit. Das lässt erahnen, dass es nach einem Burnout nicht mit 2 Wochen Urlaub getan ist. Denn es reicht nicht aus, den Stress für eine gewisse Zeit aus unserem Leben zu verbannen und insgesamt “runterzukommen”. Es geht vor Allem um Ursachenforschung, um einem möglichen Rückfall vorzubeugen. Aber es geht vor Allem darum, unser ganzes Leben, unseren Alltag, unsere Energiequellen und unseren Selbstwert und unsere Selbstliebe unter die Lupe zu nehmen. Was können wir in unserem Wesen und in unserem Leben den kommenden Anforderungen entgegensetzen? Welche Kräfte müssen wir mobilisieren, um nicht nur alltagstauglich, sondern auch ausgeglichen und optimistisch durchs Leben gehen zu können? Kurz gefragt: Wie, was und wieviel müssen wir ändern, um wieder auf die Beine zu kommen und auch langfristig auf den Beinen zu bleiben? Katrin erzählt: Die ersten Monate waren die schlimmsten. Nach der Diagnose hat mein Hirn nur langsam verarbeitet, was mit mir passiert ist. Ich denke, ich stand einerseits unter einer Art Schock, weil mir erst jetzt bewusst wurde, wie schlecht es mir geht. Andererseits hatte ich das beängstigende Gefühl, komplett den Boden unter den Füßen verloren zu haben und habe in mir verzweifelt nach Gedanken und Hoffnungen gesucht, die mir die Kraft für die Zukunft geben können. Da war aber nichts mehr. Aus mir war gänzlichst die Luft raus, alle Energie war restlos ausgesaugt und meine Gefühle & Gedanken waren ein großes lautes Nichts. Von Februar, als alles begann bis Juni habe ich praktisch nur im Bett verbracht, mit geschlossenen Fenstern, heruntergelassenen Jalousien und so gut wie keinem Kontakt zur Außenwelt. Ich war einfach nicht mehr Teil dieser Welt da draussen und ich fühlte mich dumpf und leer. Der erste bewusste Schritt aus meiner persönlichen Dunkelkammer waren die Gespräche mit meiner Psychologin und eine 3-monatige Online-Therapie. Und die tägliche Einnahme eines Psychopharmakas, das ich auch heute, 2 Jahre nach meinem Burnout, noch nehme. Ich habe wenig Vergleichsmöglichkeiten, deswegen kann ich nicht sagen, ob mein Genesungsverlauf typisch oder atypisch ist. Er gleicht in meinem Fall einem Rollercoaster mit langen Anstiegen, Abstürzen, rasanten Talfahrten und einigen Loopings. Mittlerweile rollt meine Bahn aber langsam aus und vielleicht kann ich die ganze Achterbahngeschichte schon bald ganz hinter mir lassen. Zwischenzeitlich habe ich aber oft nicht geglaubt, dass ich da wieder heil herauskomme. Denn so sehr ich versuchte, wieder auf die Füße zu kommen, es kam immer wieder ein Morgen, an dem ich ohne Hoffnung und Lebenslust aufgewacht bin. Einige Monate lang hatte ich das Gefühl, einen Schritt vor aber anschließend wieder 3 zurück zu machen. Was mir sehr dabei geholfen hat durchzuhalten, war die Gewissheit, dass meine Firma und meine Kolleg*innen hinter mir stehen und ich mir keine zusätzlichen Sorgen über Jobverlust und Arbeitslosigkeit machen musste. Und meine Familie ist immer für mich da, obwohl wir weit verstreut leben. Burnout und Depression: Dasselbe, das Gleiche oder ganz unterschiedlich? Burnout vs Depression Ein Burnout ist keine Depression7, obwohl die Anzeichen und Auswirkungen etwas anderes vermuten lassen könnten. Eine (klinische) Depression ist eine sehr ernste psychische Erkrankung, die z. B. aufgrund einer genetischen Prädisposition entstehen und sich durch äußere Einflüsse so verschlechtern kann, dass eine zeitweilige stationäre Behandlung und nicht selten eine lebenslange Medikation notwendig sein kann. Eine Depression kann aber im Gegensatz zu einem Burnout auch kontextfrei in Erscheinung treten, also ohne sichtbaren äußeren Auslöser.Auch ein Burnout ist eine ernste Erkrankung, die häufig depressive Phasen nach sich zieht und viele Symptome aufweist, die einem depressiven Zustand ähneln: Schlaflosigkeit oder ein überhöhtes Schlafbedürfnis, Antriebslosigkeit, Rückzug und Mutlosigkeit gehören dazu. Wegen der Ähnlichkeit der Symptome spricht man an Stelle von Burnout auch von einer “Erschöpfungsdepression”. In der Regel sind hier die auslösenden Faktoren aber weitestgehend extrinsisch (von außen einwirkend) während eine Depression von intrinsischen Faktoren ausgeht.Laut WHO und ICD ist Burnout (noch) nicht als Krankheit oder Syndrom klassifiziert, sondern gehört "nur" zu den stark gesundheitsbelastenden Faktoren. Genesen vom Burnout: Back to business? Stelle wechseln? Kürzer treten? Zurück ins Leben, zurück in den Beruf? Es ist ein gutes Gefühl der Sicherheit, wieder in den Beruf und an den Arbeitsplatz zurückkehren zu können. Ob das immer die beste Lösung ist, darf allerdings bezweifelt werden. Diese Entscheidung ist davon abhängig, wo die Auslöser für den Burnout lagen. Wenn ungesunde Arbeitsumstände, schwelende Konflikte, zu hohes Arbeitspensum oder andere externe Faktoren von Seiten der Firma / dem Arbeitsplatz den Weg zum Burnout bereitet haben, dann ist entweder ein Arbeitsplatzwechsel oder ein anderer Wirkungsbereich und evt. eine Arbeitszeitverkürzung die beste Maßnahme, um einem erneuten Burnout vorzubeugen. Wenn allerdings viele interne Faktoren wie übersteigerter Ehrgeiz, zu hohe Selbstansprüche, die Unfähigkeit zu delegieren oder eine andere persönliche “Schwäche” geradewegs in den Burnout geführt haben, dann liegt der Hauptanteil der Veränderung beim Wiedereinstieg an und in uns selbst. Dazu gehört auch die Offenheit gegenüber den Arbeits- oder Teamkolleg*innen und dem Management und der Wille gegenseitig auf sich aufzupassen, damit sich die eigene Geschichte nicht wiederholt, weder bei dem betroffenen Menschen noch beim Rest der Belegschaft. Denn aus Erfahrung wissen die betroffenen Personen nur zu gut: Oft sehen die Außenstehenden das nahende Unheil viel eher und deutlicher als man selbst. Ein Burnout verändert vieles: Die Sicht aufs Leben, den Freundeskreis und den Alltag Burnout und die Folgen Die gute Nachricht zuerst: Ein Burnout8 kann restlos überwunden werden. Besser noch: Bei einer achtsamen und umfassenden Genesung (die im Extremfall Jahre dauern kann) hat sich der Blick auf das Leben und auf sich und die ganze Umwelt zu Gunsten von Qualität und Intensität so zum Positiven verändert, dass man wie ein neuer Mensch mit offenen Armen und Augen durch das Leben spaziert. Es mag abgedroschen klingen: Aber ja, ein Burnout kann ein Gamechanger sein, und birgt auch die Aussicht auf ein glückliches und zufriedenes Leben danach in sich. Aber ein Burnout kann auch andere Folgen nach sich ziehen, für die wir in der Regel nicht so dankbar sind. Durch den Zusammenbruch und den Rückzug aus der gewohnten Welt verlieren die betroffenen Menschen nicht nur den Kontakt zu sich selbst, sondern auch zu Freunden und Bekannten. Bei manchen manifestieren sich rund um den Burnout Ängste, die vorher nicht zu spüren waren, viele Betroffene greifen zu verschiedensten Substanzen, um mit der Leere und dem Schmerz fertig zu werden. Kurzum: Zum Burnout können sich noch andere Probleme gesellen, die die Genesung begleiten und behindern können. Katrin erzählt: Zu Beginn meiner Heilung habe ich fast nur die negativen Seiten meines Burnouts gesehen: Die Isolation, der Verlust meines Selbstvertrauens, meine Selbstzweifel und meine Angst, dass alles so schlimm bleiben könnte. Aber trotz einiger Aufs und Abs wurde das Gefühl, dass sich etwas in mir zum Guten ändert, langsam immer größer. Viele Veränderungen habe ich mir fast schon aufgezwungen, wie täglich das Haus zu verlassen, denn während meiner Auszeit habe ich zeitweise für mehrere Wochen am Stück ausschließlich in meiner Wohnung gehockt und hatte panische Angst, draussen zu sein. Manche Veränderungen kamen automatisch, denn mit zunehmender Achtsamkeit mir gegenüber wurde mein Blick für meine Umwelt auch wieder klarer. Ich esse mittlerweile nur noch vegetarisch, trinke keinen Alkohol, ich recycle / upcycle alles, was nicht unbedingt entsorgt werden muss und mein Plastikkonsum tendiert gegen Null. Ich bin wesentlich ruhiger als jemals vorher, ich bringe sogar die Ruhe auf, zu meditieren und es gibt nur noch wenige Momente, in denen ich in alte, schlechte Gewohnheiten verfallen möchte. So kitschig es auch klingt: Ich bin meinem Burnout dankbar, denn durch ihn hat sich mein Leben an so vielen Stellen positiv verändert, ich fühle mich wie neugeboren und sicher und stark. Und wegen dieser neuen Wertschätzung meines Lebens und meiner selbst werde ich jetzt gut auf mich aufpassen, regelmäßig zur Ruhe kommen und meine innere Energietankstelle pflegen... Hat dir der Artikel gefallen? Erfahre mehr über das kostenlose Angebot des happiness Projekts: Unsere Mission: Eine sichere und sich gegenseitig unterstützende Gemeinschaft zu ermöglichen, in der Werkzeuge, Praktiken und Erfahrungen ausgetauscht werden, die es jedem ermöglichen, ein glückliches und erfülltes Leben zu führen. Konkret heißt das für dich, dass du als Mitglied der happiness Gemeinschaft kostenlose folgende Vorteile genießt: regelmäßige Tipps zur Stressbewältigung, Meditation, Nachhaltigkeit und vielen anderen spannenden Themengebieten gelebte Inspirationen für ein glücklicheres Leben durch neue, tiefe Freundschaften im happiness Forum Erfahrungen austauschen, anderen auf ihrem Lebensweg beistehen und selbst unterstützt werden spannende, kostenlose Online Kurse in der happiness Academy belegen (aktuell ausschließlich auf englisch) z.B. Achtsamkeitsmeditation/ MBSR wissenschaftlich fundierte Artikel im happiness Magazin über das glücklich sein, zu den Vorteilen der Meditation, ... Du kannst dem Auf- und Ab des Lebens nicht entkommen, aber du kannst lernen bewusster damit umzugehen, es anzunehmen und dadurch innere Freiheit zu erlangen. Werde heute noch Teil der liebevollen Gemeinschaft offenherziger Menschen und melde dich jetzt an. Zu guter Letzt Das Thema Burnout sollte immer ernst genommen werden, es ist keine Zeitgeist-Erkrankung für erfolgsversessene Manager*innen, sondern kann jede*n von uns erwischen. Deshalb ist eine regelmäßige ehrliche Selbstbeschau9 und eine große Aufmerksamkeit des eigenen und des Verhaltens anderer Personen gegenüber so wichtig. Es gibt verschiedene Wege der Genesung, aber am besten ist es, es erst garnicht so weit kommen zu lassen. Denn der Weg aus dem Burnout dauert fast so lange wie der Weg zu ihm hin. Deshalb: Passen wir auf uns und aufeinander auf! Quellen: [1] psylex.de/psychische-probleme/burnout/varianten-copingstrategien [2] www.stepstone.at/Karriere-Bewerbungstipps/innere-kuendigung [3] hellobetter.de/blog/boreout/ [4] www.baua.de/DE/Angebote/Publikationen/Berichte [5] karrierebibel.de/work-life-blending [6] karrierebibel.de/work-life-integration [7] minddoc.de/magazin/unterschied-burnout-depression [8] www.zeit.de/karriere/beruf/2014-06/wichtigste-fragen-burn-out [9] soulsweet.de/bist-du-burnout-gefaehrdet Geschrieben von Nikola Nikola ist als Autorin und Community Managerin Teil des happiness.com Teams. Sie ist Pädagogin, Fachinformatikerin und hat obendrauf Psychologie studiert. Sie liebt Worte und Taten, Schwimmen und Radeln, Nähen und Fotografieren und natürlich ihre Katze. Sie mag Spaziergänge um 5 Uhr morgens, das Meer, im Regen herumhüpfen und alles, was mit Upcycling zu tun hat.

The world is a difficult place at the moment, so showing human kindness to others is more relevant than ever. But benevolence doesn't just benefit the person on the receiving end. Dee Marques explains five key benefits we can feel of showing kindness to others. A few weeks ago, I moved to a country where I didn’t know anybody and where I didn’t speak the language. Sometimes, even the smallest tasks feel unsurmountable due to the language barrier and the lack of familiarity with how things work. But often, I find that random passersby are willing to go out of their way to help me figure things out. When that happens, I’m reminded of the old saying, “Kindness costs nothing, but means everything”. Today, human kindness is needed more than ever. In this article I will explain why and will explore the benefits of showing human kindness at every opportunity. What is human kindness? According to the dictionary, kindness is the 'ability to demonstrate generosity and consideration towards others'. Kindness involves thoughtfulness, compassion and empathy, not only to people we know and love, but to anyone who may need it. In other words, true kindness is not selective; it’s shown to others irrespective of who they are, based on the understanding that we all have something important in common: being human. Human kindness has been practised and valued since immemorial times. Although we may not be able to trace specific or individual acts of kindness thousands of years back in time, we have reason to believe that they have always been present in society, in the form of religious and/or spiritual beliefs, or as social norms and expectations. For example, Buddhism is known for the importance it attributes to kindness as an integral part of the human experience. The Buddhist practice of loving kindness or metta illustrates this, as it refers to selflessness, sympathy, and a benevolent attitude towards all sentient beings. This concept is often described as universal love. Other ancient religions, such as Confucianism, Taoism and Hinduism also consider human kindness to be a core value. Human kindness can lead to more fulfilling relationships shutterstock/Dragon Images Whether we’re religious or not, we can all agree that the world could do with more kindness. Perhaps we can’t control the levels of suffering caused by war, poverty, price hikes, COVID, and political or social division, but we can do our part to alleviate this suffering by showing human kindness whenever possible. We only need to look at recent examples of kindness to confirm the truth in this. People in the UK have been taking in Ukrainian refugees and contributing to food banks, even though the average person’s finances aren’t particularly buoyant right now. Shared humanity – why it matters Random acts of kindness – 22 ways to spread happiness The power of kindness – why being nice benefits us all And the thing is, that gestures of kindness don’t have to be grand, they just need to be genuine. For example, in the town where I lived until very recently, there was an outage that kept our street block without electricity for 3 days, right during the hottest time of the year. People from nearby streets came up to our block and offered to keep groceries in their fridges, so they wouldn’t spoil. At the time, it was a huge help. So whether big or small, gestures of human kindness are all valid. So, how can showing human kindness help you? Sometimes, we’re so enmeshed in our own worries that we think we don’t have the time or energy to show kindness to others. This idea stems from a common misconception: that being kind to other humans only benefits on the receiving end of the kind act. However, human kindness is so powerful that its beneficial effects actually extend to people who demonstrate it. The ripple effect is an important concept here. Psychologists use this concept to describe the far-reaching impact of acts of kindness, by comparing it to the effect caused by throwing a rock on a still body of water. “Human kindness is so powerful that its beneficial effects extend to people who demonstrate it. By showing genuine kindness, we can can create ripples of loving feelings that may travel far into the world.” By showing genuine kindness, we can create ripples of loving feelings that may travel far into the world – we never know who will be inspired by our actions. In fact, it’s not uncommon to witness an act of kindness and feel moved to do the same. Indeed, a study from 2018 shows that kindness can be contagious! What’s more, knowing we’ve done our best to contribute something positive can boost our feelings of contentment and connectedness to others. But the benefits of showing human kindness don’t stop there. Here are a five more ways in which being kind can boost your well-being: 1. Improves your mood Contrary to popular belief, doing things for others can improve our mood in more powerful ways than doing things for ourselves. A 2016 study had two groups of people either do acts of kindness for others or treat themselves over a six-week period. Researchers found that the group that had been kind to others reported higher levels of positive emotions, whereas the other group didn’t experience any changes. Showing kindness to other humans improves our own self-esteem 2. Reduces anxiety and stress Health experts at the University of California have found that performing acts of human kindness releases oxytocin, also known as the love hormone. These acts also increase the production of the so-called happiness hormones, like dopamine or serotonin. This is important because low serotonin levels are associated with anxiety, stress and other mood disorders. 3. Lowers inflammation and boosts your immune system This infographic published by Darmouth College claims that people who integrate human kindness into their daily lives have lower cortisol levels. Cortisol is a powerful hormone that plays a role in virtually every process in our bodies, so imbalances are felt rather quickly. Indeed, high cortisol can cause widespread inflammation, weaken the immune system, disrupt the reproductive system and cause digestive conditions. On the other hand, if acts of kindness can help to lower cortisol levels, helping you to fight inflammation and strengthen your immune system. 4. Improved self-esteem A four-year study focused on adolescents evaluated the effects of being kind to those who need help, for example, through volunteering. The findings, published in 2016, showed that all acts of kindness improved the participants’ self-esteem, irrespective of how big or small those acts were. “People who integrate human kindness into their daily lives have lower cortisol levels... helping you to fight inflammation and strengthen your immune system.” So, how does this happen? Possibly because being kind to others draws attention to the positives in ourselves and reminds us that we are making a difference to improve the lives of others. 5. More fulfilling relationships In a world where suffering and indifference are the norm, showing human kindness can make you stand out among others as a person worth knowing and being friends with. To that effect, there are studies showing that kindness is more attractive that a good physical appearance, and that emphatic people activate parts of the brain that are key to solid relationship building. Takeaway: shifting to human kindness Today, human kindness is needed more than ever. We should all make an effort to not let our busy lives get in the way of altruistic behaviour and to reconnect with the innate gift of human kindness that lies within each one of us. When it comes to kindness, it doesn’t matter if the gesture is big or small, and there are endless ways you can choose kindness over darkness. So, embrace human kindness, make others happier and feel happier yourself. • Main image: Dmytro Zynkevych happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ self-develop with free online Academy classes Gratitude | Authenticity | Learning Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.

Sonia Vadlamani explains why what other people think of you is really none of your business, and how imbibing this revolutionary truth can change your outlook on life, for the better. While the age-old idiom urges that it isn’t fair or wise to ‘judge a book by its cover’, humans are inherently programmed to do just that. And, surprisingly, this tendency continues even after we get to know others relatively better. Our relentless fixation with how others perceive us is further intensified in the online world. Social media implores us to constantly upload snippets of our lives: to be witnessed, judged, interpreted, and opined about in a myriad of ways and by people that we’ve often never even met! It seems like the more we reveal about ourselves, the more people have to say about us. The constant judgement and prying also creates a perceived need for people to seem ideal and likeable, which can often leave them struggling to cope with uncertainty regarding feedback from others. The fear of people’s opinions is an unreasonable obsession, especially predominant in the modern world, and what’s worse, it may be holding you back from performing at your best level. Tell yourself: “what other people think of me is none of my business.” As a compulsive people-pleaser, I used to worry about what people thought of me constantly, only to realize eventually that I could not possibly be liked by every single person. And, although I understood the logic underlying the lesson “what other people think of me is none of my business”, the difficult part was to internalize the message and implement it consciously in day-to-day functioning. Why humans love to judge The ability to infer the intentions of others from something as basic as motion cues alone is one of the basic cognitive adaptations deeply rooted in human behavior. Detecting danger and making quick decisions was deemed essential for reproduction, survival and evolution. Thus, we learned to interpret, label, and file our assessments about others, so we can retrieve and utilize the information when needed. 7 signs your friend doesn't care about you Finding your tribe – the 7 steps you need to take Are you being used? 12 signs to look out for Extensive studies by Susan T Fiske et al revealed that warmth and competence are the two fundamental dimensions used by people to perceive others, and the combinations of these result in generating emotions like admiration, envy, indifference etc. “What other people think of you really isn’t any of your business: it’s best to not let other people’s opinions prevent you from being the authentic version of yourself.” People habitually make important decisions based on their assessment of other people’s facial features, posture, behavioral cues and personality traits. Researcher Tessa E.S. Charlesworth found that even children as young as three regularly evaluate adults for personality traits such as trustworthiness, authority and expertise by focusing on their facial features. Indeed, we face judgement from varying ages and by different groups, i.e. family, faith, school, friends, workplace, etc. As a result, we become hard-wired to make snap judgments as we grow, which instils the need to be liked by everyone and the fear of other people’s opinions. Why what other people think of you is none of your business Although it might sound confusing, what others think about you really doesn’t matter. In fact, what really matters is what you think of yourself. Here are five reasons why: 1. You can’t read people’s minds Assumptions aside, we actually have no idea what others people are thinking. Indeed, we often assume what other people are thinking about us, but unless they actually verbalize it and tell us what it is exactly they’re thinking, then we really cannot be sure what they are thinking. • JOIN US! Sign up today and make new friends at happiness.com • For example, if you believe that your co-workers are discussing your dress sense or work ethics, it's only you who is deciding so, and you cannot be certain this is actually happening. Since we cannot read people’s minds, we should consciously stop making assumptions and rely purely on the actual events and accurate information as the basis for our thought patterns and resulting behavior. 2. You cannot control what others think of you Every person has their own unique perspective and a way of gauging others that has absolutely nothing to do with you, as pointed out in The Four Agreements by author Don Miguel Ruiz. What’s more, it’s likely to be an ongoing process that you cannot possibly control. Indeed, you’ll continue to be judged and held in a certain regard by others, regardless of how many times you interact with them and whether you’re warm and friendly or cold and distant. A study by Cornell University revealed that people continue to judge others according to their appearance and implied behavioral cues, even after interacting with them in person. It was concluded that first impressions last even after several face-to-face interactions, and that instead of doubting at least some of our initial perceptions after these interactions, we continue to believe them to be accurate and valid. Thus, what other people think of you really isn’t any of your business: it’s best to not let other people’s opinions prevent you from being the authentic version of yourself. 3. If a person is judging you, they’re probably judging themselves We judge and ascertain people by our own standards. Some of us measure our lives in terms of achievements and fame. Others value friendships and relationships the most. And, interestingly, one’s perceptions of others can reveal a lot about their own personality. If someone is judging you, they are also judging themselves shutterstock/SpeedKingz In fact, the standards you employ to measure your self-worth is essentially the same yardstick you use to size-up others around you. Understanding what other people think of you is none of your business is key to relieving yourself of the responsibility to please everyone around. Indeed, you cannot fulfil one’s idea of perfection, owing to the simple fact that their values and belief systems may be entirely different than yours. 4. Replacing constant worrying with positive emotions could make you happier Very often, judgments require us to retrieve crucial bits of information from our memories, and we often resort to recollecting negative feelings about others quicker than the positive ones. There is ample scientific evidence to suggest that not all emotions are created equal, and that as we grow older we tend to pay more attention to negative emotions such as jealousy, hatred, anger, sadness etc., as compared to positive emotions like joy, hope and love. “Accepting what other people think of you is none of your business can lead to a stress-fee life and happy state of mind.” We also tend to assume negative feedback and perspectives about ourselves on the behalf of other people, sometimes even without any prior reason. A review study by Roy F Baumeister et al found that this ‘negativity bias’ is a far more impactful and basic underlying psychological condition that creates self-doubt and reduces life satisfaction. Accepting what other people think of you is none of your business can lead to a stress-free life and a happy state of mind. 5. Genuine feedback about what people think of you is useful Even though it's good to ignore what people think of you, it may benefit you to take a break from this lesson periodically and take constructive feedback from the people you trust about so-called ‘blind areas’ or unknown aspects of your personality. According to the Johari Window Model – a useful psychological tool created by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham – seeking feedback with an open mind may help you uncover the hidden or unacknowledged facets of your personality, like a natural talent, a repressed feeling from childhood, or a certain hard-wired behavior that you may want to address. The takeaway In truth, you cannot change how others perceive you, or even predict how they’ll react around you. Realizing that you really cannot control how others think of you can be utterly liberating and cathartic. Being self-aware, challenging negative self-talk and reviewing your perception of yourself consciously is the key to ingraining this lesson. • Main image: shutterstock/pathdoc happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Letting go | Authenticity | Acceptance | Self care Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

September was full of feel-good environmental and health stories – but you may not have heard about them! Ed Gould shares his Top Ten round-up from the past month to uplift and inspire. Although feel-good news may have seemed as though it was a bit thin on the ground in September, there were plenty of stories that invoked happiness, positivity and a sense of mankind's progress to a better future. What were some of the most constructive news items from the last month? Here's our Top 10 countdown... 1. Friendships make you happier than family It might be something that sounds obvious at first – that time spent with friends makes people feel greater happiness. Nevertheless, a research paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology has shown that friendships can be even more beneficial in the pursuit of happiness than time spent with family. Over 400 participants conducted daily surveys of how happy the felt and the study showed family time was not always the best route to feeling happier. This, the researchers think, is down to family life involving chores to some extent whereas friendships involve fewer 'negative' associations. RELATED: The power of friendship 2. Our older generation is the youngest yet In feel-good news for anyone over a certain age (!), a Finnish study has shown that the current crop of 75 to 80 year-olds are mentally younger than comparable groups of only a few decades ago. By comparing current data with that from the 1990s, the University of Jyväskylä has found that cognitive performance is better among today's older people than ever before. And it's not just brain power, either. The report concludes that muscle strength, walking speed and verbal fluency are all significantly better today than they were in similarly-aged people from three decades ago. Growing older, staying youthful shutterstock/rawpixel.com 3. Mindfulness exercises lower blood pressure Researchers from Florida Atlantic University's Schmidt College of Medicine have conducted research into the effectiveness of mindful breathing exercises. Their work, published in the academic journal Medical Hypotheses, has stated that mindfully-paced breathing can slow the heart rate to around five to seven beats per minute. With deep and diaphragmatic breathing helping to calm the participants, this method can halve the usual relaxed heartbeat rate which with is commonly 12 to 14 beats per minute in adults. RELATED: Meditation vs mindfulness: what's the difference? According to Suzanne LeBlang, MD, a neuro-radiologist who co-authored the study, paced breathing stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which likely accounts for the noted drop in blood pressure. 4. Zero-emission flying is now a reality Although carbon offset schemes exist, the fact is aeroplanes still release carbon into the atmosphere at an alarming rate. However, an experimental flight has taken place which uses hydrogen instead of fossil fuels, as reported by Sky News. The inaugural flight took place in Bedfordshire, England, using a new engine that can run on the fossil fuel-free material. The company behind the technology has run test flights before but this was the first time it had been used for a truly commercial flight, perhaps leading the way to a greener future for the air industry. 5. New Zealand could become fully renewable by 2030 In a pledge made to voters in her bid to be re-elected as the country's Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern has vowed to make New Zealand the first advanced economy to be powered completely by renewable energy sources. Her plan, according to EcoWatch, is to invest in a major green recovery programme to help the country's economy to recover from the pandemic. In turn, she thinks this will mean being able to power all of the Pacific nation's energy requirements from renewable sources within the next decade. “[This] represents a once in a generation chance,” she said, “to reshape the energy system in a renewable, faster, affordable and more secure way.” Wellington, New Zealand shutterstock/Milosz Maslanka 6. New department store only sells recycled items The city authorities have opened a new department store in Berlin. The shop, B-Wa(h)renhaus, sells a wide range of products over its 7,000 square feet of floor space. However, the major difference with this retailer is that everything on offer is pre-owned. Either second-hand items or ones made from recycled materials are available to buy in an effort to reduce the city's wasteful consumer culture. After an initial trial run, it's expected the idea will be replicated in other retail outlets across the German capital, according to reports in Bloomberg. 7. Transparent solar panels help buildings to power themselves According to a report in New Scientist, a team from a clean tech company known as UbiQD have come up with transparent solar panels that are mounted into sheets of glass. The start-up, which was founded in 2014, reckons the panes will be able to be fitted into conventional window units and even glazed atria without the electricity-making technology within them being noticeable. This could mean new skyscrapers are clad entirely in such glass – making those inside able to produce most of their energy needs from the external structure of the building. The firm's test installations have so far shown promising results. 8. More species are surviving extinction A report published in the Guardian stated that 48 bird and mammal extinctions were avoided in the last 30 years thanks to conservation programmes specifically aimed at protecting wildlife. The Californian condor, the pygmy hog and the Iberian lynx are just three species which would otherwise have died out, according to a study carried out by Newcastle University and BirdLife International. Since 1993 it's thought that extinction rates would have been much higher had it not been for such targeted interventions. The Iberian Lynx shutterstock/Tony Mills 9. Polystyrene recycling breakthrough announced A UK company has said that it has developed a new way to repurpose polystyrene. The plastic is often used for packaging and much of it ends up in landfill because the ways it can be recycled are limited. According to the BBC, Recycling Technologies, the Swindon-based company responsible for the new method, has received significant financial backing from a commercial partner that makes lots of polystyrene. This will allow the company to upscale its recycling operations. It's hoped that polystyrene will become a much more sustainable material. 10. A vision of the future? A scientist who has worked on a technique to restore the sight of a group of blind people has won the prestigious Körber European Science Prize. According to Hungary Today, Dr Botond Roska has created a therapy based on gene manipulation that will potentially be able to restore human vision to many people who are currently medically blind. The Hungarian scientist is based in Switzerland and he picked up his prize in Germany in September for what is considered by many to be a revolution in ophthalmology. • Main image: shutterstock/Dark Moon Pictures happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy these benefits: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips and inspiration ■ share knowledge and help support others in our happiness forum ■ learn and self-develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Mindfulness | Positive news | Nature | Biotechnology | Biology | Climate change Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Does the freedom to disregard the conventional relationship norms and craft relationships on one’s own terms result in increased happiness? Sonia Vadlamani explains what relationship anarchy entails, and how its tenets may help people be happier in their relationships. It is safe to say that most of us have heard of polyamory, and some of us even have at least one friend or acquaintance who is in an ‘open relationship’. Indeed, we’re witnessing the rise of ethical non-monogamy, as multi-partner relationships are finding their way into the mainstream in the form of polyamory, open relationships, relationship anarchy, etc. Despite these changes, a monogamous relationship is still the most common relationship model, in addition to being the one with highest societal recognition as well. However, today we find more and more people abandoning the conventional relationship structure of monogamy to embrace more open relationship models. A 2017 survey conducted on a representative sample of 2003 Canadian adults revealed that one in five adults had engaged in an open relationship at some point. And a 2020 poll found that around one third of Americans consider their ideal relationship to be non-monogamous to some degree. The traditional relationship hierarchy prioritizes family the most, which includes the family of origin (i.e., parents, siblings etc.) and forming family systems with spouse or romantic partner and children. While some of the forms of ethical non-monogamy or ENM still involve certain structures or prioritized partners, relationship anarchy (RA) disregards the conventional hierarchies altogether, thus relinquishing any imposed expectations. RELATED: Why is family important? Amy Gahran, writer and author of Off the Relationship Escalator, describes the societal pressure to adhere to monogamous relationships as a relationship escalator. “My approach to life and love is to have as many strong, healthy connections and interconnections as I can feasibly support,” says Gahran, who portrays parting from the monogamous relationship model as ‘stepping off the relationship escalator’ in order to be able to derive more from one’s relationships. Relationship anarchists believe that love is abundant shutterstock.com/dekazigzag Whether you’re happy in your relationships without hierarchy or are happily monogamous yet enjoy and value intimate friendships in consensus with your partner, aspects of relationship anarchy can potentially transform your relationships for the better. So, what is relationship anarchy exactly? Coined by Swedish feminist Andie Nordgren in 2016, relationship anarchy (RA) assigns no specific importance to one relationship over another, and thus shuns hierarchies created by societal conventions. Relationship anarchists refrain from assigning different values to their relationships as per the prescribed norms. For example, a sexual relationship does not hold necessarily priority over an intimate friendship for those practising relationship anarchy. Instead of attempting to rank and prioritize the people and relationships in one’s life, Nordgren recommends that you “cherish the individual and your connection to them.” Indeed, research reveals that high quality relationships as the key to a good life, and RA can prove to be the chosen medium for forming fulfilling relationships for some. “As long as you are questioning the status quo, examining your values, and communicating your needs, it is possible to build a radical relationship anarchist life,” reasons Dedekar Winston, a relationship coach who also co-hosts the podcast Multiamory. “Relationship anarchy assigns no specific importance to one relationship over another, and thus shuns hierarchies created by societal conventions.” Relationship anarchy is still in its early emergence phase, and overall, there are several loopholes and misconceptions associated with the ENM relationship models. Nevertheless, even as someone happily in a monogamous relationship, I do find we could all learn a great deal from the tenets of RA, so we could devise fulfilling and successful relationships for ourselves. The RA manifesto Nordgren put forth an instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy in 2006, to serve as a guide for those who already are in relationship structure like RA or aspire to be relationship anarchists: 1. Love is abundant, and every relationship is unique RA challenges the belief that love is a limited resource, and valid only when shared between a couple. We are capable of loving different people, and the love shared in one relationship does not automatically challenge or weaken the love we feel in another relationship that we cherish. Relationship anarchy emphasizes on the love and connection experienced between the two (or more) parties in each unique relationship, instead of comparing or ranking different relationships. 2. Love and respect instead of entitlement Relationship anarchy grants autonomy to every individual in a relationship, where boundaries, personal beliefs and values are meant to be respected. Instead of viewing relationships as grounds to control or command others, RA deems mutual respect and healthy boundaries as the foundation for a happy relationship. 3. Find your core set of relationship values Since RA is based on mutual trust and respect for boundaries, it is essential to define your core values to be able to clearly formulate your needs and expectations in all your relationships. Self-reflection can help you determine your boundaries, motivation and fears. Focusing on these core relationship values with assertiveness will can help you cultivate fulfilling relationships. 4. Heterosexism is rampant and out there, but don’t let fear lead you While relationship anarchy does question the normative relationship structures, it is important to remember than heterosexism is still largely prevalent, and continues to dictate what is a moral, correct and acceptable form of love. It is our duty to question and break these conventional gender-based molds and set our own expectations and boundaries for all our relationships. 5. Build for the lovely and unexpected RA emphasizes on the freedom to be spontaneous and express one’s wishes and desires without judgment or the fear of punishment based on ‘should’s and ‘ought-to’s. Indeed, staying curious in life, and introducing some play can improve the quality of relationships and make people happier. 6. Fake it til’ you make it Challenging the conventional relationship structures like monogamy and other heterosexist norms could seem like an uphill task sometimes. Instead of reproaching themselves for choosing relationship anarchy during such adverse times, one needs to push through and stick to the guidelines they defined for their relationships. Seeking support from others who are in norm-challenging relationships can help reinforce your resolve and adapt better. 7. Trust is better It is normal for trust issues to crop up sometimes in relationships, but we can avoid taking a skeptical approach and try dealing with the same through positive communication and persistence. Choose to trust that your partner wants the best outcomes for you in the same way that you wish for them. Cultivate a supportive environment where it is possible to overcome fear of abandonment and other validation-seeking behaviors, with an aim to develop a more secure attachment style. Cultivating trust is essential in relationship anarchy 8. Change through communication It is ideal to find realistic and healthy ways to answer issues which may sometimes occur in your relationship, like jealousy or emotional dependency. Communication could be the key, and thus an objective and non-judgmental discussion about the underlying issues or feelings can go a long way to strengthen the relationship. 9. Customize your commitments As Nordgren puts it, RA “is not about never committing to anything – it’s about designing your own commitments with the people around you”. Whether you wish to raise children, grow old together or enter into a marriage, relationship anarchy offers freedom to define your core values, needs and expectations and match the same with your partner so that you can construct and lead a content and meaningful life together. Is RA the same as polyamory? Also a form of ENM, polyamory refers to relationships wherein people consent to have more than one romantic or sexual partner at a given time. Informed consent is differentiating factor here, as its absence would deem it ‘cheating’ or unethical non-monogamy. However, polyamory is not synonymous with relationship anarchy. While people in polyamorous relationships do prioritize some relationships over another, RA aims to entirely dismiss pre-defined boundaries and hierarchies, while offering full freedom to the partners in the relationships to customize and communicate their own boundaries and prioritize all relationships alike. “Relationship anarchists refrain from assigning different values to their relationships as per the prescribed norms.” Interestingly, monogamous couple can decide to be relationship anarchists as well, by deciding to not abandon their friendships and other platonic associations that they value. As Winston puts it, one can be “sexually or emotionally monogamous with a particular person and still be a practicing relationship anarchist”. Of course, determining their core values and communicating the same to their partner is key for any fulfilling relationship. Takeaway: relationship anarchy While it’s mistakenly thought of as a reckless indulgence, or sometimes branded as the unwillingness to commit to a relationship, relationship anarchy can be best defined as a conscious, self-led approach towards what you and your partner(s) seek from a relationship. Indeed, designing your relationships as per your needs and expectations instead of societal pressure can entail a great deal of effort, maturity and trust. Relationship anarchy relies strongly on understanding oneself deeply, listening mindfully with empathy, and the ability to communicate one’s needs clearly. But then, so do most successful relationships, regardless of the relationship structure they may be based on. • Main image: shutterstock.com/Carlos Olivera Does relationship anarchy appeal to you or it something you would never consider? Share your thoughts in the comments below! Subject got you interested? Then chat with other members in our relationships forum. happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum ■ Develop with free online Academy classes Trust | Deep listening | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.

There have been plenty of feel-good health and environmental stories in the press during March. Ed Gould rounds up his Top Ten from the past month to uplift and inspire. March was a time of great hopefulness in many parts of the world as some semblance of normality began to emerge for the first time in months. That said, the headlines still tended to be dominated by international frictions, disease and unrest. Of course, there were plenty of good news stories that didn't get the attention they deserved, too. So, what were some of the best? 1. Cheetahs to be reintroduced to India It's about 70 years since cheetahs were last found roaming Asia. Since then, the big cat has been only found in Africa. However, conservationists are turning the tide for the creature as six sites – including the Shergarh Wildlife Sanctuary in Rajasthan and the Gandhi Sagar Wildlife Sanctuary – have been identified as being suitable for them. According to the Indian Express, two teams of wildlife experts, one in South Africa and one in Namibia, will choose cheetahs for the project which, it's hoped, will help to ensure their long-term survival. 2. Birdsong will make you happier, according to science It may sound obvious, but being in close proximity to birds – particularly hearing them sing – has been shown to induce states of happiness in people. As reported by Yahoo! Life, the German Centre for Integrative Biodiversity Researchers set out to determine whether it was really true that birds make people feel happier. They discovered that all types of birdlife are able to increase the life satisfaction of people. In fact, they even put a value on it – the researchers say it raises joy levels so much that it's the equivalent of being given around £100 per week! Bird song gives you a boost shutterstock/AlekseyKarpenko 3. Cannabis extract may help Alzheimer's sufferers Scientists in the USA have been working on the cannabis extract known as CBD. During their experiments on mice, they found that exposure to the naturally produced substance had a beneficial effect on cognition. They now suggest that a two-week course of CBD among humans could help to improve the brain function of people who have an inherited form of Alzheimer's disease. According to the research, which was carried out at the Medical College of Georgia at Augusta University, CBD promotes the growth of proteins that help to consume dead brain cells. RELATED: How to talk to a parent with dementia 4. Damaged motor neurons can be treated with new compound Another medical breakthrough was reported in various media outlets in March. This one focussed on amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, otherwise known as ALS. The condition often leads to a loss of control in movement as the degenerative disorder worsens over time. However, scientists now think that a new compound, known as NU-9, can repair damaged motor neurons in the brain. It could offer patients the chance of a treatment pathway in the future. 5. Coral reefs around Fiji make a better than expected comeback When many of the beautiful coral reefs around the island nation of Fiji were destroyed following a powerful cyclone, some people thought they might take decades to recover. However, according to a report in the Guardian, marine scientists have found that the reefs are once more looking vibrant and teeming with life. Fiji's coral reefs have come alive again shutterstock/stockphoto-graf A tropical cyclone named Winston struck in 2016 leaving many Fijian corals looking like rubble. The Wildlife Conservation Society has been monitoring the situation since then and said that it has been truly surprised at how the reefs had recovered. Part of the success has been down to the way in which the society has created no-fishing areas to help preserve the reefs, something it did in tandem with local communities. 6. Chimpanzees use Zoom to stay social During the pandemic, many people have learned to turn to technology to keep their social lives going. However, it' not just humans who are making increased use of video conference calling. In the Czech Republic, zookeepers have been setting up Zoom calls between chimpanzees in different locations. A report in USA Today stated that a safari park in the northern town of Dvur Kralove had started using the technology to enrich the lives of its six chimps by allowing them to see other primates in a zoo located miles away. 7. Mindfulness found to be useful for dealing with pandemic anxiety There can be little doubt that the last 12 months or so have been a more worrying time than usual. Indeed, vast swathes of the world's population have suffered from fear and anxiety relating to the pandemic. However, a recently published paper suggests that these worries can be alleviated by practising mindfulness. Of course, mindfulness techniques are already well-known for the beneficial mental states that they help to bring about. This study, published in the academic journal Global Advances in Health and Medicine, is the first to suggest it also works for pandemic-induced fears. Over 200 volunteers took part in the clinical trial. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged 8. Rare toad bred for the first time in Manchester Scientists at the Manchester Museum announced they had been able to successfully breed the endangered harlequin toad in a global first. Native to Central America, the toad is so-called for its bright yellow and black markings. After six of the creatures were brought to the UK in 2018, no breeding has occurred. The beautifully-marked harlequin toad shutterstock/goran_safarek However, by replicating the humidity, lighting and water flow of their natural environment, the team was able to see tadpoles successfully developing for the first time. The breeding programme was a culmination of three years of sustained work, according to a report in the Guardian. 9. 3D printing to be used for a school in a global first A site in southern Madagascar has been set aside for a new school. Incredibly, the difference with this project is that a non-profit NGO will be building it using only 3D printed construction materials. In an effort to show how sustainable such buildings can be, Thinking Huts will deliver the design of the school faster and more sustainably than would otherwise be possible. The NGO stated that the method would mean schools of this type could be built in less than a week – including the foundations, electrical works and plumbing. It's hoped that this process will become the norm in parts of the world where more educational establishments are needed. 10. Electronic waste is beginning to decline For decades, people have been producing more and more electronic waste. All sorts of appliances are scrapped and head to landfill sites rather than being recycled each year. However, according to Recycling Today, the tide may be turning. This is because a research team from Yale and the Rochester Institute of Technology have discovered that the amount of electronic waste that is currently being produced is in decline for the first time. Of course, humans are still making such waste but now at a slower rate thanks to increased product longevity and improved recycling opportunities. • Main image: shutterstock/Romolo Tavani happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ develop with free online classes in our happiness Academy Nature | Positive news | Biology | Biotechnology Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Panic attacks can be both terrifying and debilitating says Calvin Holbrook, but there are ways of dealing with them. If you’re having regular episodes of intense anxiety, learn how to stop panic attacks fast. Ever since I had my first panic attack, I’ve been learning about what to do when they happen to try and stop them and how best to reduce my chances of further attacks. I've had a few years of experience now and managed to develop techniques to cope with panic attacks when they inadvertently show up (which is exactly how they usually like to show up!). In fact, since making certain lifestyle changes, I've definitely noticed a decrease in the amount I've been having. I've put together 12 science-backed tips to follow for which can help stop or reduce the severity of a panic attack, plus some ideas on how to reduce your chances of having more anxiety issues in the future. How to stop a panic attack: 12 techniques 1. Accept the panic attack Firstly, learn to accept that you're having feelings of anxiety and that it may develop into a full-on panic attack. Don’t try to ignore the feelings or fight them: the more your resist panic, the worse it can get. Tell yourself that you're having feelings of panic, that you’ve been through this before, and that you'll be fine once this intense episode of anxiety stops – which it will. Face your fears: when panic hits, accept it 2. Try not to make a run for it Often during a panic attack you’ll feel the sensation to sprint away from wherever you are and get home as quickly as possible to your safe space. It’s easier said than done, but try to ride out the panic attack and simply move to a quieter place close-by. For example, if you're in a busy shopping street, head off to a side street or green space with less people around. If you run away from a panic attack, it's controlling you, and can even wire your brain to make you fearful of having future attacks when you visit the same location in the future. Don't move: embracing your panic attack can actually help 3. Breathe deeply from your stomach This is one of the most effective ways to stop or reduce panic attack symptoms. If done correctly, deep breathing can alleviate those horrible physical symptoms such as tingling, dry mouth and dizziness. Here's how: breathe in deeply and slowly through your nose and down into your belly for seven seconds; hold for seven more, then release the air slowly through your mouth over another seven seconds, pushing it right out of your tummy. Deep breathing exercises like this help balance out the low level of carbon dioxide in the blood that happens during hyperventilation (causing many of the physical symptoms of the panic attack). Getting this step down is key to stopping a panic attack while you're in the middle of it. Deeply important: breathe right down into your abdomen 4. Practise mindfulness When I had a recent attack, I noticed a very small, green caterpillar crawling between my legs while I was curled over some steps, with my head between my legs. It sounds funny, but focusing on that little fella really helped me out in my moment of need! “Deep breathing is one of the most effective ways to stop or reduce panic attack symptoms.” Indeed, while you're continuing the deep breathing exercises, try to put your vision and other senses into use and focus on what’s going on around you. Maybe look up at the sky and watch the clouds passing, focus on people going by, or just be aware of the smells and sounds where you are. Mindfulness can take your mind off the panic. RELATED: 7 mindfulness tips for staying engaged 5. Listen to soothing music Calming music can often help, so make sure you have some on your phone, music player or laptop if you're used to having panic attacks. The musician Moby has lived with panic attacks for many years and created two ambient albums specifically in mind to help create a sense of calm and tranquility. Stream or download them for free to your phone or computer. Listening to this has helped calm or stop my panic attacks many a time. Sound advice: calming music can reduce panic symptoms 6. Repeat! Sometimes you’ll start to feel better quickly during a panic attack but then be hit but another wave of panic later. If that’s the case, keep repeating the exercises above until the attack stops. After some time, you'll return to your regular state. Panic attacks: how to reduce them While panic attacks really suck, the more you have, the easier it becomes to spot the symptoms of one developing. In turn, this makes it easier to be able to deal with it on the spot. Panic and anxiety develop for a variety of reasons – depending on your individual circumstances – but science and studies show that there are specific triggers that can lead to attacks. With that in mind, consider the following ways you could potentially reduce your panic attacks: 7. Stop – or reduce – drinking coffee... Drinking coffee is like throwing petrol on your anxiety and watching it go up in flames. Numerous studies back this up. Eliminate or cut down the amount you consume: don’t forget that caffeine is also found in tea, caffeinated soft drinks and chocolate, etc, so watch those, too. RELATED: How to help someone having a panic attack Furthermore, the American Psychiatric Association also recognizes caffeine intoxication as a diagnosable condition, along with caffeine-induced anxiety and sleep disorder. Giving up can be hard; reducing your intake gradually can help the caffeine fiends among you. Personally, I limit myself to one cup a day, two if I'm feeling naughty (or sleepy). Consider swapping for a calming chamomile which can reduce anxiety and also fight depression. Cut coffee: it's a key cause of panic 8. …and also alcohol Science shows there’s also a strong link between alcohol and anxiety. Abuse of alcohol can also lead to an anxiety disorder or attack. Sometime it’s a vicious circle that needs to be tackled: if you’re dealing with your anxiety by numbing it with alcohol, that isn’t going to help in the long-run. For me, if I drank a lot in one evening, I'd often have a panic attack the next morning, especially if I hadn't eaten much. Which leads us nicely to... You booze, you lose: cutting alcohol can stop panic attacks 9. Low levels of blood sugar The body releases the hormone adrenaline when blood-sugar levels fall lower than normal. This helps raise blood sugar levels back up, but can also induce the effects of anxiety. That’s why it’s important to keep blood sugar levels stable. Eat regular meals and keep healthy snacks at hand, such as fruit and raw nuts, to munch between meals. A diet which is based around good mood foods that give a sustained release of energy into the bloodstream, such as fish, brown rice and wholemeal bread, can also help. “Drinking coffee is like throwing petrol on your anxiety and watching it go up in flames. Stop consuming it to help stop panic attacks.” 10. Stay away from recreational drugs Of course, drugs such as cocaine or speed (amphetamines) can produce a euphoric high in the short-term, but when the come down hits or you've taken too much, panic attacks can come thick and fast. Needless to say, studies have shown that recreational drugs, especially amphetamines, can lead to panic attacks and other anxiety disorders. If you take any kind of recreational drugs, know the risks. Panic party: if you add drugs into the mix, anxiety could follow 11) Reduce your stress levels Stress and worry is all too commonplace in the modern world, but there are things we can do to tackle this. If you’re ruminating – thinking too much about the past or the future – worried, or frazzled from your job, take steps to relax. Firstly, some kind of exercise is essential and the benefits of it regarding anxiety and depression are proven. According to some studies, regular exercise can work as well as medication to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. Try to fit some swimming, running or yoga into your routine and you should notice the benefits. Great lengths: swimming can lower stress and anxiety 12) Speak with your GP Finally, coping with panic attacks isn't always easy and it's important you go to your GP/doctor and let them know about the issues you're facing. First of all, they should be able to confirm that your physical symptoms are anxiety-based and nothing more serious (this can help put your mind to rest, especially if you're worried that you have a heart problem, for example). Furthermore, as well as improving your lifestyle, your GP can also help you deal with panic attacks by possibly prescribing anti-anxiety medication to keep you calm, and by referring you for talking therapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). A mixture of all three is a powerful way of tackling anxiety and stopping panic attacks head on. ● Are you living with panic attacks or anxiety? What methods help you to deal with it best? Share your thoughts with the happiness.com community below or in our forum... Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our magazine and is a lover of swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage. Find out more.

Corney Harnish examines how playing games can actually improve your life, leave you feeling better than ever, and create a social impact. Are you someone who is skeptical about games? Do you believe that they are bad for our youth or can cause social issues among people? You’re not alone. This debate over whether or not video games negatively affect us has been going on for years. However, it turns out that it depends on what games you're playing. There is great evidence that some games actually are good and can positively impact us! These are called Games for Change. There’s a community of amazing people who have been working on these types of games for the last 15 years through the Games for Change festival that’s happening right now in NYC. Creators and social innovators are driving real-world change by empowering people to take social action through games. These savvy techies are working on cutting-edge technology that leverages games for change making an impact in the civic sector, directly addressing issues around social justice, human development, as well as environment and responsible citizenship. “Creators and social innovators are driving real-world change by empowering people to take social action through games.” Beyond this, games are being used to transform education in and out of school, making learning a fun and easy process! And, even more, gaming is being explored to improve health, fitness, cognitive skills, and mindfulness through interactive experiences and new technologies. Pretty versatile or what?! So what kind of positive impact do games have? Playing games can bring together fundamental aspects of psychology, sociology, and technology to engage people for social change. For starters, it allows children to develop and experience life in a safe environment. Additionally, it encourages people in general to pursue their ambitions, develop a realistic framework for achieving them, and improves our emotional intelligence. [1] Fair game: playing video games does have benefits And, what’s great, game designer Mary Flanagan outlines four ways video games can have a positive behavioural and social impact: Encourages open-mindedness Provides an easier way to spread messages and tell stories Develops new mental associations Provides multiple perspectives for people to view situations [2] Any cool examples of these Games for Change? Yes, of course! One that Better World International has developed, and that I have been working on directly, is a great example: The Good Cards: a digital platform and mobile app that empowers and motivates people to do good deeds and track the ripple effect they’ve inspired. Through partnerships with schools and community groups, we create customized missions for social action like our environmental clean-up mission we did with EliteYouthTour. The Good Cards also guides individuals in doing good for themselves and those around them to make a positive impact in their community. Game on: playing some types of games can have a positive impact Or, there’s SuperBetter, which is a meaningful creation from Jane McGonigal, a leader in the field of gamification. “SuperBetter increases resilience – the ability to stay strong, motivated and optimistic, even in the face of difficult obstacles. Playing SuperBetter makes you more capable of getting through any tough situation — and more likely to achieve the goals that matter most to you.” [3] One other impressive example is Zombies, Run!, a mobile app that makes fitness and running fun. Players have to complete a sequence of missions to rescue survivors, pick up supplies, and defend their home all while trying to avoid the zombies. It’s a neat little way to make running more exciting. Woah, that’s awesome! What does the future look like? This is something that is absolutely limitless with the technological advancements we are experiencing. At the moment, the field of gamification is trending. Briefly, gamification is the application of motivation psychology with game mechanics to inspire people to engage in a specific behavior that they might not have been motivated enough to do on their own. This has the potential to result in applications that help improve productivity and office culture in companies, empower people to build the daily habits they strive to have, and make learning a seamless process. Yet, there’s more. Virtual Reality (VR) is going to change the future of gaming. This rapidly-evolving technology will have an incredible impact, whether in healthcare, entertainment, or space exploration. For example, VR is to be used to train surgeons, helping them receive substantial practice before they move on to live humans. [4] “This is something that is absolutely limitless with the technological advancements we are experiencing. At the moment, the field of gamification is trending.” So, there’s a lot of groundbreaking stuff going on. It’s not just about making money anymore; there are a lot of people and organizations out there who want to make a difference to the world we live in. One last thing, how can I get involved? Grab a Good Card and see how far your ripple effect of kindness will last. Find a game from the list at Games for Change and start making a difference by having fun! ● Written by Corey Harnish The poster child of community, Corey is a great listener and huge believer in humanity. Currently the CEO of Better World International a 501c3 tech nonprofit, Corey is leading The Good Cards development; an innovative online-gaming platform and app that engages people worldwide in doing good deeds for happiness and global sustainability. Corey is an AmeriCorps VISTA Alumni, an Honorary Rotarian of Rotary International, as well as a volunteer of Defy Ventures, providing business coaching to EITs (entrepreneurs-in-training), and an active personal life coach. Corey empowers individuals and communities and help them to flourish through personal development coaching and community service involvement. An aspiring Social Justice activist with a passion for community/sustainable development, service learning, juvenile justice rehabilitation, and brain-based coaching.

The news agenda is obviously currently dominated by Coronavirus, but let's try not to forget there are still great things happening all over the world. Ed Gould shares his Top Ten round-up from March to uplift and inspire you. If the last month has felt full of stress and worry, you're definitely not alone. And yet, even during the lock-downs that are in place around the globe, positivity still shines through. Many people are socially distancing themselves and making personal sacrifices in order to help save the lives of people they will never meet. Viewed from the right angle, that is something of a feel-good news item in its own right. And here are ten more from March: let's celebrate these feel-good new stories during this difficult time for the world – they may just give you hope for the future of humanity. 1.Reusing face masks possible thanks to new techniques According to CNN, researchers at Duke University, a medical research facility in North Carolina, have found a way to continue using medical face masks. There has been a global shortage of such masks in the current Covid-19 emergency which has led to severe strains on medical teams around the world. However, the pioneering work at the Regional Biocontainment Laboratory there has meant that N95 respirator masks can now be decontaminated and safely re-worn without fear of passing on infection. RELATED: How to keep the greater good in mind during the Coronavirus outbreak 2. Big step to discovering secrets of life taken The origins of life on Earth are a little murky. Scientists know the conditions that are needed but not what might have kick-started the whole process. However, American scientists have now discovered evidence for a plausible hypothesis. Researchers have been looking at a meteorite first discovered in 1990 and found that it contains a protein on it that was previously unknown in nature. This leads some to think that a similar life form may have travelled to the Earth in prehistory, beginning the chain of reactions that we know collectively as life. 3. Madagascar to plant millions of trees To celebrate its 60th anniversary as an independent state, the government in Madagascar announced its backing for a tree-planting programme in March. It will set about putting no fewer than one million new trees into the ground for every year of its independence from colonial rule. Madagascar has one of the most unique ecologies on the planet but it has been increasingly under threat because of the outbreaks of forest fires on the island. According to the ecology website, Afrik21, the reforestation programme will commence in June. New trees, new life: Baobab trees in Madagascar 4. The ozone later continues to heal In the 1980s, the banning of certain chemicals started to see some minor repairs to the damage done to the planet's ozone layer. However, over 30 years on, those moves are continuing to benefit us all, according to New Scientist. The magazine reported that a team at the University of Colorado Boulder had been studying wind patterns as a result of the ozone layer healing up and it showed them that reversals in the size of certain hurricane-causing air currents were now detectable from space. 5. NHS staff given free mindfulness apps The UK's health service personnel are at the forefront of dealing with the fallout from the Covid-19 outbreak and they don't always get the support and recognition they deserve. However, the Independent reported that Headspace, a popular mindfulness app, will be freely available to all NHS workers during the pandemic. The app focusses on stress reduction and resilience, meaning it could play a big part in helping to keep key workers in the front line. RELATED: The best mindfulness podcasts: our top 7 picks 6. A revolution in lung transplants? According to a feel-good news report in Interesting Engineering, Israeli surgeons have been able to remove a lung, clean it and put it back in a patient for the first time. It's hoped that the techniques they've developed will allow them to help people with life-threatening conditions, such as lung cancer, without the need to conduct a transplant. Dr Yuri Faischowitz at Beilinson Hospital in Petah Tikva said that the method required one healthy lung to continue functioning while the delicate repair work was carried out on the other. 7. Huge investment into solar power According to Bloomberg, GCL System Integration Technology Company – a Chinese manufacturing firm – will open up a new solar panel factory that will be on a scale never seen before. The eastern city of Hefei has been chosen as the one that will accommodate the photovoltaic plant, at an estimated cost of £2 billion. According to the company's press release, the facility will have sufficient output to meet half of the world's current demand for this technology on its own. This could mean prices for consumers reduce even further while helping to reduce the effects that fossil fuel energy consumption has on global climate change. New solar panel factory on the way shutterstock/Sonpichit Salangsing 8. Wales plans huge new forest In reports that were carried by numerous media outlets, the country of Wales in the UK is set to reforest a huge area that will mean woodland stretches over vast swathes of the Principality. The £5 million government scheme is being augmented by the efforts of Welsh schoolchildren who will be involved in the necessary planting work. Corridors of woodland will link larger sections of forest, thereby helping biodiversity in Wales. It will also help as a part of the wider UK government's carbon strategy. RELATED: The benefits of forest bathing 9. Two big high street brands have banned paper cups Starbucks and McDonald's, two of the world's biggest sellers of convenience beverages, have announced that they will be soon ditching their paper and cardboard cups. Around 250 billion such single-use cups are said to be used each year. The two brands have decided to opt for the latest type of recyclable plastic cups instead. This follows a couple of pilot projects that showed the new cups were reliable and more environmentally friendly than what had previously been used. 10. Museums offer virtual tours to replace in-person ones Some museums had been offering virtual tours for a while, helping to control the numbers of in-person visitors to extremely popular sites, such as the Palace Museum, housed in the Forbidden City in Beijing. However, the idea has since become incredibly trendy thanks to the need for people to visit places of cultural interest without having the ability to be there in a physical sense. According to Time Out, which has cleverly temporarily rebranded itself as Time In, famous institutions like the British Museum in London and the Guggenheim art gallery in New York City are now getting in on the act. And it's not just museums – Cincinnati Zoo has produced some highly entertaining 'virtual safari' videos on its YouTube channel so that viewers can interact with its animals while learning about them. Main image: shutterstock/Dennis van de Water What's your favourite feel-good news story from the past month? We'd love to hear your views in the comments! Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

A new year means new beginnings. Ed Gould shares his Top Ten round-up of feel-good news stories from January to kick-start 2020. January was full of feel-good news. If you thought that there was too little happiness and not enough to cheer you in mainstream news outlets, then read on to discover some of the positive stories you may have missed. 1. Stem cells used to combat pain in global first The use of stem cell research is controversial, but supporters of it are now likely to find more people being supportive of the technique thanks to work conducted at the University of Sydney. A research team there has claimed to have made a breakthrough with pain management, something that should bring happiness to anyone who suffers from the chronic condition. Taking stem cells from patients with injured nerves, the researchers have been able to repair them, thereby alleviating often excruciating pain without relying on drugs. 2. New process allows rubbish to be made into wonder material Engineers and product designers have long considered graphene, a carbon-based material, to be strong, durable and light. However, it has never been made out of rubbish before. According to The Engineer, this is soon to change because of a process developed at Rice University in Texas. Now, plastic waste and even old rubber tyres can be made into graphene at a fraction of the usual outlay, thanks to the work of researchers there. It's hoped that the graphene made will be industrialised and added to concrete, making it stronger and more environmentally friendly. 3. Mindfulness can help us to be less fearful According to a report in Medical News Today, mindfulness has been shown in numerous scientific studies to help people unlearn what they've learned from their fear. Of course, fear is an adaptive response that helps us to survive. However, with mindfulness, we can unlearn the traits associated with fearfulness that may be holding us back. According to the latest research in Scandinavia and China, inappropriate fear responses – such as phobias – can be addressed by invoking mindfulness techniques. Fear not: mindfulness may help shutterstock/Avesun 4. New hope for anti-cancer drugs The search for new and more targeted oncology drugs is something that continues around the globe. However, according to a report published by Reuters, US scientists have discovered that many drug therapies already in use for other conditions may have a cancer-fighting effect, too. Dr Steven Corsello of the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and the Broad Institute at MIT said that a surprising number of non-oncology drugs have the ability to see off cancer cells under laboratory conditions. His team tested some 4,500 drugs with no previously reported anti-cancer properties and found that at least 50 were successful. 5. Breakthrough in solar technology announced A research team led by Claudia Turro, a chemistry professor at Ohio State University, has found that a lone molecule could be harnessed in a way that will make solar panels more effective. The chemistry involved means that the full spectrum of sunlight can be captured by solar cells, thereby making them much more effective than at present. The idea is to develop the technique to make a much sought-after type of hydrogen fuel from sunlight. 6. Doing good relieves mental and physical pain People who are kind all the time may already realise the power of kindness, but researchers in China have scientifically demonstrated that being nice to others has a benefit to us. Their work, published during January in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, has shown that altruistic behaviours led to relief from acutely induced physical pain and even had a positive effect on those suffering chronic pain. Their work suggests there must have been some kind of evolutionary benefit to kindness, as humans developed into more social animals living in groups. Kindness leads to happiness shutterstock/Daisy Daisy 7. China moves against single-use plastics Some people complain that the moves many of us make – such as phasing out the use of plastic bags – is not worth it until hugely populous countries such as China do the same. However, the People's Republic announced that it would do so from the end of 2020 and hopes to remove all single-use plastics from urban centres in as little as two years. In a report published by the BBC, the restaurant industry in the country will have to do away with plastic straws almost immediately. 8. Blood flow study could help dementia sufferers A team at University College London in the UK has discovered the bio-mechanism that allows brains to monitor their blood supply in a study conducted on rats. It's now hoped this can be monitored to work out the relationship between this mechanism and the onset of dementia, which has long been associated with blood flow rates in the brain. 9. Lego is bringing about a more mindful approach The Daily Telegraph reported a particular generation was increasingly using Lego building as a way to achieve flow and greater happiness in their daily lives. In January, the newspaper said that millennials were playing with the plastic bricks to make things that had an effect on their mindfulness which was akin to engaging in practices like yoga. Some have put this down to the fact that younger adults are more aware of mental health stresses than older generations and are therefore seeking therapies they can enjoy to avoid them. Could Lego boost flow? shutterstock/FamVeld 10. Dry January being overtaken by increasing numbers of teetotallers According to Men's Health magazine, more people are getting involved with alcohol abstinence than ever before, and it's not just for the first month of the year. In increasing numbers people are opting to abandon booze all together, thanks to public health campaigns and the publicity associated with dry January. The report cites scientific research at the University of Washington as well as changing British attitudes to alcohol as revealed in a recent YouGov survey. What a sobering thought! ● Main image: shutterstock/diy13 Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.

Are you a perfectionist? Always seem to be busy? Do you find it hard to say ‘no’? Then you may be living with high functioning anxiety. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains how the overachievers and overthinkers of this world can learn techniques to manage this chronic state of anxiety. High functioning anxiety is not an official diagnosis. It is a term popularly used to describe a state of chronic anxiety that often goes undiagnosed – and unnoticed. However, that does not mean that it is not a real thing. It is, and it can negatively affect your physical health and mental well-being. The hallmark of high functioning anxiety is the fighting mode of those affected. They are many of the overachievers, overdoers, overthinkers of the world. They are people who are white-knuckling their way through anxiety every day of their lives. In this article, we will look into what characterises people who describe themselves as having high functioning anxiety and how to deal with it. What is high functioning anxiety? A quote fit to start our discussion on what high functioning anxiety is, is one by Alain de Botton, a contemporary British philosopher: “The largest part of what we call ‘personality’ is determined by how we’ve opted to defend ourselves against anxiety and sadness.” High functioning anxiety is not recognised as an official diagnosis in the current revisions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) or the International Classification of Diseases (ICD). People who are using the term define it, generally, as being anxious but pushing through the feeling by staying busy and productive. In other words, it means hiding anxiety behind being an overachiever in various areas of life. Diagnostic categories are known to change, For example, homosexuality was once considered a disorder. Other categories were amended, deleted, added, adapted, recategorised, amended again. Such changes to mental disorders’ official classifications follow new findings, observations from psychotherapy practice, and political and societal changes. Anxiety spectrum disorders, in specific, underwent substantial modifications between the DSM-IV and DSM-V. Being over-busy is a sign of high functioning anxiety shutterstock/Drazen Zigic Therefore, high functioning anxiety can be considered a real issue, even though it might not be categorised as a separate disorder at the moment. In other words, it may appear in one of the following revisions of psychiatric manuals. The experience of being anxious, hiding it, and functioning on high (top, over-the-top) performance levels is real – and psychiatry might look into that in some of the future changes to the classifications. High functioning anxiety statistics So, how many people have high functioning anxiety? That is incredibly difficult to estimate. The first problem is that it is not a diagnosis of which institutions keep track of, as already explained. Secondly, anxiety in itself is severely underdiagnosed – and we can assume that people with high functioning anxiety are particularly unlikely to seek help for it. Indeed, one study determined that, in adolescents, only one-third of those affected by anxiety sought any form of professional help. According to another study, the lifetime prevalence of anxiety disorders is approximately 30 per cent. Regardless, they remain underdiagnosed, misdiagnosed and improperly treated. “The hallmark of high functioning anxiety is the fighting mode of those affected. They are many of the overachievers, overdoers, overthinkers of the world.” Anxiety is far more prevalent in high-income countries, and it disproportionally affects women. Considering these statistics, it becomes clear why there is so much talk about high functioning anxiety lately. The pressure of living in the modern-day Western world with ever-mounting roles and obligations results in heightened anxiety. People, however, often do not seek treatment or receive adequate help. Some keep muscling their way through the demands, the pace of life and the non-stop urge to keep going forward. Symptoms of high functioning anxiety As there is no official category in psychiatric manuals, we must rely on other sources to determine how high functioning anxiety looks like in real life. According to the South African College of Applied Psychology, these are the five main symptoms: 1. Staying busy all the time People with high functioning anxiety are keeping themselves busy at all times. This behaviour goes beyond productivity and working on one’s goals. They have an emotional need to keep themselves occupied. Relaxation and doing nothing at all feels threatening and uncomfortable. 2. Being a perfectionist Those who know them describe people with high functioning anxiety as highly determined, ambitious, and intent on always getting things done. In other words, everything you imagine under a Type A personality. This is not surprising, given the type’s association with anxiety. 3. Poor sleep Same as with generalised anxiety disorder, people with high functioning anxiety often have sleep disturbances. They can have difficulties falling or staying asleep. On the other hand, when they manage to get a bit of shut-eye, it is a fidgety sleep that brings little rest. Excessive working in overachievers can lead to poor sleep 4. Inability to say “No” Because of their need to be liked and acknowledged, those living with a high functioning form of anxiety are often unable to decline a request. They profoundly fear disappointing others. 5. Numbing behaviour Some people affected by high functioning anxiety try to numb the apprehension they feel. It can be a slightly more adaptive option, like exercise. However, often it is the straightforward unhealthy choice, such as excessive use of alcohol, psychoactive substances or overeating. Potential positives From one point of view, one that considers objective achievements, high functioning anxiety might come with benefits. The “trademark” of people affected by it is their high productivity. It is also one of the reasons why many are reluctant to seek professional help. If you think that you have high functioning anxiety, you are probably happy with its outcomes, even though it burdens you emotionally and physically. You might be outgoing, passionate, active and helpful. You are probably everyone’s first pick for any team. “People with high functioning anxiety are keeping themselves busy at all times. This behaviour goes beyond productivity and working on one’s goals.” You are punctual, detail-oriented, highly efficient and effective. Being perfectly organised and orderly is your middle name. On the outside, arguably, one might be pleased about managing to cope with anxiety by overachieving. After all, one of the reasons it is not considered a disorder is that it does not affect the person’s functioning. Potential negatives At the same time, albeit high functioning, it still is anxiety. In addition to the emotional toll, there are also outcomes of pushing yourself too hard. As a result of never taking a time-out, you are highly vulnerable to burnout. Obligations tend to hoard because you cannot say “no” when someone asks you to complete a task. You could also be comparing yourself to others and feeling dissatisfied with yourself all the time. Even though you might be highly sociable, inside, you probably feel insecure and tense. Because you have a hard time relaxing, you might be unable to enjoy the moment. You rarely take a vacation and relish in the benefits of obligation-free retreats. Unhealthy habits, such as working beyond optimal limits, could get the best of you. Poor sleep quality adds to exhaustion. Proneness to excessive use of alcohol or other harmful substances to numb the anxiety further strains you. Dealing with high functioning anxiety The first thing we should emphasize is: you are not going to lose your efficiency or become less successful if you address your anxiety. Some people might be reluctant to make changes because they, understandably so, like being high-fliers. However, healing from anxiety will not rob you out of your organisation skills. It will merely make you feel less stressed and your life more balanced, healthier. Anxiety troubles different people differently. So, you should try what works best for you. We give you four possible ways to deal with your high functioning anxiety: 1. Get professional help As with any mental health disturbance, the best thing you can do is seek professional help. Anxiety can be overwhelming, even the high functioning type. Anxiety disorders should be treated with psychotherapy, pharmacotherapy, or a combination of both. Cognitive-behavioural therapy is most often used, but other forms could also work for you. 2. Meditate and learn to be mindful A recent study reviewed 25 further studies on the effects of mindfulness meditation on anxiety among college students. The findings determined that such a form of mental practice has ample positive effects. In the clinical population, that is, among people diagnosed with anxiety, mindfulness-based interventions were also very effective. RELATED: Mindfulness vs meditation – understanding the difference 3. Be your own therapist You are an expert on your state. So, use this knowledge and design a toolbox specifically for your needs. For example, if you worry too much, you can designate some time- and place-specific worry time. Findings revealed that, although counter-intuitive, a half-hour of intentional worry, when it follows certain principles, lowers anxiety levels. Consider trying self-hypnosis for anxiety. According to a recent study, hypnosis audios trained the brain to exert better physical and emotional control over one’s experiences. Maybe try and work on cognitive restructuring – a technique in which you track, analyse and alter your habitual way of thinking about events and experiences. 4. Reach out Studies show that social support is one of the most powerful ways to reduce anxiety. Open up to someone who cares about you and tell them how you have been feeling. It might come as a surprise to them. However, it is important to have people who know everything about you and encourage you when you slip. It could do wonders for your need to power through your days and maintain a superhuman persona. Being your vulnerable and insecure self in a safe environment will help you tap into a more relaxed state of existence. Defend yourself against anxiety in a healthier way Although we are exposed to the pathologisation of anxiety in media and expert literature, some philosophers consider it an inherent part of being human. From that perspective, what we are left with is a choice. It is the choice of how we will view and deal with high functioning anxiety. We invite you to redesign your pick. Opt to defend yourself from the feeling in a more balanced way, with lots of self-love and self-care. Main image: shutterstock/Roman Samborskyi happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum ■ developing with free online classes in our Academy Coaching | Letting go | Authenticity Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.